I have been in a realtionship with this girl for a 30 days know . We have been talking a lot and still have love for this girl. She is eveything i want in a girl but i dont feel a spark like i use too when we first started dating. I love her but i dont know if i should break up with her.

So I met this girl before and she was being a dick too me which is a bad first impression. I saw her again at another party and she wasn’t rude and probably doesn’t remember the first time.

Someone told me from that party that she wants to hook up with me but I gotta make the first move, of course…

So fast forward to Halloween weekend which is in a few days. We are both going to party on Friday from a mutual. But also on Saturday, she’s coming to my party because someone invited her, not me. But also, the party that we are hosting is having so many people because all my roommates have different friend groups. And I search up some of the girls and they are hot, hopefully they don’t have boyfriends.

She’s not ugly or anything but is not my first pick. And how she was to me the first time really left a bad taste in my mouth.

Not sure if I should hook up on Friday and test my luck on Saturday. Not sure if that’s rude or not. Like sex is cool and all but I probably won’t fuck Anyone else on Friday.

Nit sure what to do or if I should add more details.

So I have a Halloween party coming up in a little over 4 days, and I’ve never really been to a party where I don’t know most of the people. My friend is hosting it with another friend, and there are gonna be around 200–250 people there. They’re both a bit older than me, and most of the people going are around their age, so I only know like four people there. I’m usually a pretty social person, but being in a room with 200 people I barely know is a whole different thing 😭 I just wanna be able to not care about what people think, socialize with everyone, dance with random people, get drinks with people, and just have fun without feeling awkward or constantly overthinking everything. I wanna be one of those people who can walk into a party and talk to literally anyone, but I genuinely don’t know how to get to that point. How do you stop being so self-conscious in these situations and actually become a social butterfly?
I find it very weird though because normally im a very social person but when it comes to people older then me or in big groups I just overthink
The age gap of the environment isn’t that bad but I might be the youngest there as my friend who is hosting said
Pls advice

Over the weekend on Friday night into Saturday 10/23-10/24 my friend came over with 1.2 grams of coke for a weekend getaway and after a long few weeks at work going non-stop I gave in after about 4 months of being a clean whistle. Between me and my friend in a 27 hour period we finished it all at about an even amount for each of us
I’ve been applying for job after job trying to get away from this job that is working me nonstop with no days off right now
It’s just my luck that after a weekend of fun that a job would call me on Monday (yesterday) to ask me to come in for a Lab based 5 panel urine & etg and five panel & etg hair follicle testing…. This job is extremely good and will make a huge difference in my future. I’m so worried that I’m not going to be able to pass these tests and was wondering if anyone had any advice on what they’ve done or what I could do. I need to test by Friday this week…
I shouldn’t have done the fun and I know that especially now but i work my ass off and do my best to stay on the straight arrow but a little fun every once in awhile should be fine

My Ex Is Marrying My University Friend, and He Doesn’t Know About Our Past?
Backstory
I am M22, I had a girlfriend in high school I was very deeply involved with me and her dated from grade 10 to 12 and then 1 year out of school.
She fell pregnant by me and was at 6 months since she had a miscarriage. We ended things due to her not coping with it well as it was an unplanned pregnancy and it caused a lot of drama. She cut me off and stopped taking to me due to the feeling she had associated with me.
Four Years Later
Currently it’s 4 years since this happened and I have not stopped missing her since. I always Hoped she would come back to me and we will make up and somehow we will be together, to be honest it kept me going.
How I Met My Friend
During this time I was in university where I met a guy and me and him became friends. Not very close but he was a “talk to someone every odd day online or in person” sort of friend. Very chill and cool guy.
The Wedding Invitation
He randomly texted me saying he is getting married and I am invited and so are my other friends etc. I am happy to go and I’m cheering, until I asked who the girl was.
Yep it was my ex who I still have feelings for.
She was dating this guy I met at university for the past 2 years and I never even asked. To be noted she hasn’t been in contact with me for the past 4 years.
How I Feel About This
Now I know I feel like I’m dragging this one sided love on for too long man, but I can’t help but feel devastated and sick to my stomach thinking about her being with this guy.
Crazy thing is she doesn’t even know that I am her future husbands friend.
Am I being too childish this has been fucking with me ever since I found out and I’m so devastated.
What My Friend Doesn’t Know
Also to be noted my friend didn’t know until I told him I she was my talking stage nothing serious.
I had to cover up for her because if my friend finds out we were intimate and had a past he would lose his mind and def leave her.
I know she hasn’t told him about what happened because he won’t be able to bear it. She specially told me she would never tell any of her partners about this.
The Main Question: Do I Tell Him?
Now do I tell him but if I do a marriage that is taking place next month is going to break and everyone is already invited. I’d ruin it for both of them.
I can’t get my self to tell my friend.

Hey everyone, I'm 25 years old, and I'd really appreciate some honest advice.

I've struggled with self-esteem for a long time. I like working hard and take my job seriously, but when it comes to relationships and life in general, I feel like I'm behind everyone else.

About a year ago, I met a woman at a temporary job. I found her physically attractive from the beginning, although I have to admit I judged her quite a bit at first because of her negative attitude toward work.

Later, we ended up working in the same area, and things changed. We started talking more, and honestly, there was a lot of chemistry between us. We opened up to each other about our personal problems and the difficult situations we were going through at the time.

She had recently gotten divorced and had two children. We talked for around three months, and I started liking her more and more. The thing is, I never had the courage to ask her out. At one point, she actually suggested going out together, but I turned her down.

She got upset and stopped talking to me. When she eventually left the company, she said goodbye to everyone except me.

The truth is, I've never been on a date or had a relationship with a woman before. I think I was scared. She's five years older than me, and she seemed much more mature and experienced in life. Meanwhile, I felt like I was still trying to figure myself out and get my life together.

I kept thinking I wasn't good enough for her, or that if we actually went out, she would realize how inexperienced I was and think less of me. Maybe I was afraid she would see that I didn't have as much life experience as she did.

Today, after almost a year without seeing her, I saw her again while I was walking home from work. Instead of simply walking past her and at least saying hello, I actually preferred to change my route to avoid interacting with her.

And I have to admit something: even after all this time, I still find her attractive, and sometimes I think about her. Honestly, I feel like I shouldn't still be thinking about someone I never even dated, especially after so much time has passed. But apparently, I haven't completely moved on.

Looking back, I don't know if I rejected her because I genuinely wasn't ready for a relationship or because I was too afraid to try. Part of me wishes I had taken the chance instead of letting my insecurities make the decision for me.

I'd really appreciate any honest advice. I don't expect anyone to tell me what I want to hear. I just want to understand myself better and learn from this experience.

PD: This text was translated by AI because I speak Spanish, and Reddit is the community I frequent the most.

Now I keep wondering whether I missed an opportunity that I'll never get back. Will life give me another chance to meet someone I connect with like that, or did I let something special slip away because I was afraid?

I know I'm still young, but sometimes I feel like I'm falling behind in life, and situations like this make me question myself even more.

My entire life was and is purposeless, I don't have any hobbies, nothing seems fun, I don't know how to talk to anyone, especially when I don't have any clue about anything because I'm dumb. I don't care about what will happen to me. There was and probably still is this stupid thing about me when I want to do something I want to do, I won't do it, because I'm ashamed of it (I'm talking about simple things like listening to music or cooking). My life is boring, like I said, nothing is fun for me. I don't go out because I probably have enormous social anxiety, I'm stressed almost all the time when I go out. I don't see my future. I'm thinking that I should not be born, I'm just a parasite. I could probably tell more, but who cares. I'm just an NPC which is just existing.

Life has a way of opening doors when we show appreciation, respect, and consideration for the people around us. My husband and I have been fortunate in life, and we’ve always believed in rewarding kindness and character. At one point, we even considered leaving property to someone who showed promise. But over time, we saw how quickly appreciation can fade when entitlement or controlling behavior takes its place. It was a reminder that opportunities often come from how we treat others — not from what we demand.

To anyone building their future:
Gratitude, humility, and respect will take you farther than you realize.
You never know what blessings someone might have been willing to share with you… until your behavior closes the door.

I’ll try to keep this short

I have a problem: I despise myself because of my nationality. Whenever I aspire to live a comfortable life or pursue certain goals, thoughts like, "It’s impossible for you to live like that or do such things because of your nationality," immediately surface. It’s as if I don’t even feel like a human being.

Furthermore, when I talk to people online and they ask where I’m from, I feel ashamed to name my country, fearing I might face racism.

I’ve also been thinking about emigrating in the future, and I find myself spiraling into pointless, elaborate scenarios like worrying that I won’t be able to make friends, or obsessing over how I would answer if someone asked about my origin. It’s reached the point where I’ve even devised plans to obtain citizenship and change my name in the country I move to, only to then relocate elsewhere and claim that new country as my own.

For the record, I have never left my home country, and I am well aware that the world may not actually be the way I imagine it
yet, no matter how hard I try to ignore these thoughts, I simply cannot get rid of them.

(I used a translation tool, which is why the text is written this way.)

And please can yall tell me what is the name of this problem so i can search it

I dropped almost over 40 lbs in the last 2 years. Now, I'm losing weight for health reasons, and it's definitely made a notable difference in how I physically feel, which is great. I think I only need to lose another 20 and then I'm set for success. However, I've always thought I was kinda ugly, and I figured a happy bonus to losing weight would be that I'd look prettier. I don't. I look both much better and significantly worse than I did before. I don't know what to do. Makeup does not help. I don't think there actually is a solution, but I figured it was worth an ask bc I feel horrible about myself and weight loss was my one idea to make that go away and it's failed me. And I'm kinda scared the more weight I lose the worse I'm gonna look, but I can't just stop losing weight. I have a very long family history of diabetes and I do not want to deal with that.

Thanks for any advice!

A little about me,

I 20F had rushed into a job right after high school and never planned on moving out as my first year pay has been less than 30k, I knew it made more sense. I love my job but it is a temporary gateway to get myself in the door to other jobs. I have saved around 8k and have no debts of any sort besides a phone bill and some entertainment subscriptions. Yes I pay my own phone bill I feel very adult LOL.

This month I toured and applied to a place around $1.3k after utilities. This seems reasonable as I have no other bills and will not be bringing my car with me. With groceries and public transport I feel like this is doable? I planned on getting a part time job at a grocery store to help me with the cost of food just in case, I have around 12 days off every month and could realistically work this other job. 

The issue is that despite me getting approved for the place, I’m required to have a co-signer and despite my ask, my parents rejected me as I’d anticipated. Hence, I applied online at Lemonade to essentially pay for a co-sign. I told my parents that even if they don’t sign, I will pay for another company to. I thought that they would spare me the couple hundred this would run me, but they’d hoped that their rejection would be stop me.

However, Lemonade has never followed up with an approval or denial to my request. SO I’m going to attempt with another company.

I find it a bit difficult to not view that as a sign but I’m quite excited in moving out and don’t really know how to navigate or anyone to ask for help.

I know I can be stubborn when my mind is set on something, but I genuinely think the quality of my life will improve as well as teach me to respect my earnings and budget my spending? Is this so terrible of an idea? I’m struggling to see eye-to-eye with my parents on this as they constantly worry about me, but I find it quite insulting and their love quite suffocating considering they only show me attention when I try to do something they don’t expect from me. I just don’t know what will change if I wait another year. Besides having saved more money obviously, I just don’t see it worthy of my energy to live my life at home, I don’t have much going on for me as all my friends are in uni and feel like I’m paying with my peace and sanity living at home.

Before I reapply for another cosigner, does anyone have experience to share with online guarantors?

And for those who moved out please share insight or those who stayed—tips on staying home and not going crazy? TYTY

Life feels unfair and i cant get out of this mental dead end.

Im 27yo. All my life i did what i was suposed to. During school and university i always had great grades and many times awards of merit. I finished my university with a degree in Computer Engineering and also a merit award.

Started working and grew quite fast in my professional path, team leaders always praised me for my attitude and curiosity, striving to do as best as possible every day. at 25 i was already earning more than my parents (both high school teachers), and was on the road to be the team lead soon.

Then "economic" cuts happened at the company, whole team was let go. No biggie i thought, my first job at 20 was easy to get, right out of uni, how hard can it be 5 years later and with much more experience and curriculum in my pocket.

Spent half a year sending resumes, contacting people i knew, former professors, and nothing. In those 5 years the industry changes drasticaly and my skills seemed to no longer interest anyone.

Finnaly got a job now, with the new technologies that surged in the past years i no longer do anything that i find rewarding in my job. All of those years of studying down the drain, what i brought to the table in knowledge and experience anyone can do, faster, better than me with 1 prompt. After university it all went well, i was rising the ranks and salaries and felt that everything was worth it. But im now back at square 0, earning less than i did in my first job.

What can i do better to grow in my work when all i do is use a prompt? Why should i study, learn new techniques, new concepts, new interesting things, when whats expected of me is to use a prompt and just do as is sugested?

Its like your all life you dreamt about being a baker, and make your dream cakes. Everyone before you had great sucess beying a baker, you look up to other bakers, you spent your childhood reading how each baker, in their 20s, togheter with a group of friends invented a whole new cake flavour, a whole new style of cakes.

Then it gets to your time, and someone invents a machine that creates any cake. No mater the size, complexity, flavour, it just makes it. Show it a picture of the cake you want and it makes it so. Spend 1 week preparing a cake for your friends only for someone to take a picture of it and have the same the next day.

Whats the point in life if you cant do what you always dreamt of doing? The thing you dreamt about since you where a child, that brought you so much joy and pleasure.

I always worked in game development or adjacent areas, people are scared of publishing games because you might spend 2 years developing your dream idea, only for it to be scraped and reversed engeneered in 1 day. Everywhere i look i just see Slop and what used to take knowledge, passion and work just doesnt need any of it anymore.

Both my parents with my age with their "highschool teacher" salaries managed to buy their dream house with 4 rooms, a huge garden, a great view and had money to spare to start a family and all the necessities and enjoy pleasures that life has.

Im the person in my family with most studies, did everything right, and i write this from a 70yo rundown apartment that i share with my cat. Thank god my grandfather left it to me, otherwise i would be living with my parents. Most of the days i wake up, work, and go back to bed. Beying awake makes me think of how shitty life is.

TW: Sexual assault and reference to suicide

Around two years ago my brother set up his phone in my room to record me changing. This is when I was sixteen.

My parents didn’t handle the situation that well. They got a new lock for my bedroom door, sent him to therapy, and then we all just stopped talking about it. They wouldn’t even take his phone away because he would just buy a new one.

I didn’t talk to him for six months, but at some point I stopped wanting to be angry and now we’re like siblings again. I haven’t forgiven him, I just missed having a brother. Despite what he did I love him and he is my brother.

Most days I’m fine, but sometimes I can’t stop thinking about what happened. I can never forget finding the phone or looking at my brother and not recognizing him at all.

I guess what prompted this post is that they never called the police, not for me, but when my brother realized I found the phone he took off with a bottle of pills, planning to kill himself. Why didn’t they contact the police when they were looking for him? I always thought they chose him or the family over me, but then what about when his life was in danger?

I’m looking for advice with this situation. If anyone could provide insight, I would appreciate that, especially from people who have been through something similar or who are parents/siblings. How can I move on?

Thank you

I’m 29F, and I’ve developed really strong feelings for a male friend (30M) from work. We share a close bond with lots of teasing, inside jokes, affectionate moments, hugs, and meaningful conversations. He’s been caring towards me in ways that have made me feel special, and I genuinely feel like he’s one of my people.

However, our dynamic has been inconsistent lately. Some days he’s very involved, initiates conversations, calls me, and checks up on me. Other days, he’s distant. This started affecting me emotionally, so I recently spoke to him about how I felt our friendship had changed.

He apologised and said he’d noticed the distance too. He explained that he has a lot going on and doesn’t want people to have expectations of him. He also said friendships don’t need to be defined; they just continue. We hugged twice that day, and those moments felt incredibly special to me.

What confuses me is that he’s occasionally made comments like, “Why shouldn’t I date you?” when we were joking about dating, and more recently joked that he thought I wanted to propose to him. I’ve always brushed these comments off, even though I have feelings for him. I don’t know if he was testing the waters or simply joking.

The truth is, I think I’m falling in love with him. I want to tell him, but I’m terrified of losing the friendship and the closeness we share. At the same time, I keep wondering whether there’s a possibility he feels something too.

Would you confess your feelings in this situation, or would you protect the friendship? How do you know when being honest is worth the risk of changing a bond that means so much to you?

I’d appreciate genuine advice, especially from people who’ve been in similar situations.

My wife and I have been together for 10 years. Over the last several our relationship has deteriorated to the extent our sex life is virtually non existent and we rarely talk about anything. We have been trying marriage counseling, but it doesn't feel like anything has changed. If we didn't have kids I'm not sure why we would still be together. We support each other as parents, but there is no love or affection between us.

I walk our dog and have ran into this woman a few times. I know nothing about her and have only ever said hi, but her warmth and presence melts me. I'm not fooling myself. There is no reality where anything happens between us, and yet my brain won't let it go. The idealization of her just sort of tortures me.

I don't know what advice I'm looking for. I just feel absolutely stuck. I love my kids and they are a huge bright spot in my life, but beyond them I just feel so alone.

When I was 15 I dropped out of high school during Jr year never liked school, I had alot of anxiety and was addicted to smoking weed . When I turned 17 I found my first job as a plumbing apprentice I lasted for 8 years as a plumber . On October 2024 I got sick from a virus , not sure if it was covid but it was enough for me to quit my job because I wasn't able to breathe properly for a whole year up until till February of 2026 . On March of 2026 I started feeling better again and started losing weight and was preparing myself to go back to work and I also found jesus christ and felt strong . On June 17th of 2026 about 4- 5 months ago from today It was my first day back at work , I was happy because my boss gave me my job back and even gave me a better salary then from where I left off .On that same day on my first day back to work , I got back home and it was a super duper hot day , I fell asleep on my bed and I woke up at night with a burning sensation on my head , I was so dizzy and felt like I was going to faint , so I told my brother to take me to the hospital, they did blood work and doctors said everything looks normal and suspected I was just "dehydrated' so they gave me an iv bag and sent me home after 3 hours at the hospital, they told me to rest and make an appointment with my primary care doctor. I saw my primary doctor about a week after and he said " its normal for people to feel dizzy in the heat " he did not take my symptoms seriously, I was suffering with dizziness and headaches , I also had to quit my job again after just a week of going back to work . So a month passes by hoping that I would feel better and I scheduled a doctors appointment with a different doctor and she took me more serious , in August of 2026 they took an mri scan of my brain and found a little tiny cyst in my brain and fast forward today, they are still doing test on me , I've seen 3 specialist, done 2 mri and 4 different types of blood work anf doctors tell me that they dont really know whats going on with me and that it doesn't make sense that a cyst so tiny would be causing these symptoms. Here i am today October 27 2026 still dealing with dizziness and fatigue and pain on the back of my neck. I just want to know if you guys where in my shoes , how would you start all over again??? I cant go back to plumbing because I cant do any type of physical activity or I feel like im about to pass out and die . Plumbing is all i know , I believe my symptoms are from a heat stroke but doctors haven't confirmed that yet, I hope and pray that I get better in the near future but for now I really cant do anything because of my health. Would the best option for me is to find a new career path and go back to school? Or should I wait a little longer and see if I get better? Im completely lost and feel hopeless , I feel like going back to school and getting my ged and finding a different job is the answer but im not sure if thats the best option, im thankful that my parents are taking care of my grown ass but I prefer to be independent like I was 2 years ago . So I ask again, IF you guys where in my shoes , what would you do ???? I really want to get a better idea from anyone who has gone through a similar situation and figured out a way to make things better . Thank you for reading this .

Im a 15 year old boy and im thinking about if my life is even worth it. Im thinking about it because of a lot of things that happened in my life lately. From someone elses view my life may seem great but its not. My normal day is waking up, going to school (I have no friends there) and come home and doomscroll until 3 am. I also moved away from my mom this year to a different city. I know no one there.

My girlfriend of 6 months also just dumped me. We were meant for each other. She just got more distant day by day and yesterday she just blocked me. I will never move on because i never truly loved someone more than her. I feel like a bitch now that im crying while writing this.

Anyways in school im also getting straight F's no matter how much i focus on school. I also had to stay in the same grade as last year because i didnt pass. So in my eyes I have no future but my dad has his expectations really high. I already know that i will disapoint him.

So why am I still living this shitty life? For what? I got no future, I will never graduate or go to a university. I have no friends no matter how much i try and im the disapointment of my entire family. Everyone looks down on me. I fucking hate it

I (21 M) am married to my best friend (20 F) , we have been together since junior year since we have been engaged and married she has not been able to find a job she likes and switches back and forth between working and being unemployed. She has had 12 jobs in the last 2 years all part-time and none over $20 an hour . I continue to reassure her a good job will find her and it will all work out but I can tell she’s losing hope and starting to give up . I don’t know how to handle this situation but it has started to affect our relationship we are more distant and I don’t like the way things have been feeling between us. I don’t know if I should keep encouraging her and not give up on her since we are young and have our whole lives ahead of us , or if I should part ways and focus on myself and my career ( I’ve been with my employer since I graduated high school and make $67k a year , it’s not much but it does pay our bills and keep us afloat) and maybe someday try finding someone I can start a family with that is as mature as I am or at least hopeful and willing to make something of ourselves.

24F i'm becoming homeless and disowning my family. Too much has gone on and the damage is irreparable. No one wants me around anymore and that's obvious to me. Everyone talks about a fresh start and a new life but i don't actually know how to go about it. I know for a fact everyone hates me

Okay this one needs some explaining. My bf and I have rented space in a close friend's house(let's call him John) for the past 3 years. We all are basically family.

John had a history of very bad relationship choices, but always dreamed of starting a family one day. Last year he met this woman, I'll call her Sally, from our neighborhood and they have been dating since Christmas.

Initially I was thrilled for him to have a new girlfriend and she seemed pretty nice. Most importantly, she made him happy.

Then things started to feel wrong. Whenever John came back from trips or small outings and I asked how it went he just said "it was nice....." And you could literally feel the unspoken but. Sally kept making remarks, that I still consider pretty entitled. How he wasn't romantic enough on a date because he didn't get her chair in the restaurant. How she only received flowers twice last month, which isn't enough. At a birthday party she proudly told us, that she knows exactly what buttons she has to push to get her way with my friend and every woman should know how to do this. When John's father was hospitalized while my bf and I were on vacation, she watched him call us frantically and eventually drop our dog off at my mum's house. While my mum comforted him, she sat in the passenger seat of the car and started honking cause he took so long.

She proudly claimed that she guilt tripped John's office secretary into working for free on a holiday after being sick for three weeks after an emergency surgery that almost left her blind.

I could name a thousand little things, none of them awful in itself but the sum of it is...unsettling.

Then the two of them thought about moving together this summer. I assumed they would want my bf and me to move out so they could live in John's house (that he was also raised in) and asked if they had already planned any time frames on when they would like to move, so that I knew how much time I had to look at something else. Imagine my confusion when the answer was "no, I'm moving out cause she doesn't like the house, so we're getting something else".

I think this is so dumb, but good for us because we can keep living here. When we talked about what it would cost us to rent the whole house instead of just our rooms, Sally was there making remarks about how she would charge us more.

Then in August big news came in. Sally is now pregnant, due in March. And I have never had so much trouble being happy for a friend. I know John loves her, and I also do believe that in her weird twisted way Sally loves him too. But I really struggled to keep a straight face when they told us. That night, I kept dreaming about how John showed up at our door crying cause she left him with the baby, or because she vanished and he was overwhelmed with the baby.....many scenarios and none were good. Another friend just told us she is due in may and I skipped through the house for almost thirty minutes in pure bliss.

Now they are also getting married in four weeks and I have never forced myself to accept a situation that much. We got three weddings ahead of us this year, two courtroom weddings on short notice and one big one that has been planned for months. And I only look forward to two of them. When our friend said "if you have time, come and congratulate us after the court wedding on day x" I immediately cancelled my plans that day. When I had to get off work for John's wedding I had actually hoped that my boss would object.

John and Sally want a big reception in a year or two. I always make cakes for occasions like this and I dread being asked by Sally. I would love to do it for John but I kind of do not wanna do it for a woman that I cannot stand.

I have no idea what to do about this whole scenario and I feel awful that I cannot simply be happy for a friend who finally gets his dream fulfilled.

For the past 5 years, my dad has been developing 700 acres of land to turn into a campground resort. He’s spent well over $1 million and he tells me all the time that I (25M) will soon inherit it and have to take over the management.

His reason is because he wants me to take care of my siblings (13F and 14M) and my own family when I’m older.

The problem is: I don’t want to manage a fucking campground 3 hours away. I have dreams for myself and a family that I want to create too. And I don’t want to be responsible for my siblings. I have other dreams and passions in my life and every time he tells me that “I have to be the one to take over”, I just can’t sleep at night. It’s so much responsibility for a family that I didnt create, he did.

I’m afraid to tell him that it’s not my dream, just his. He tells me it’s his dream to leave something behind for his kids, but he doesn’t realize that it’s a blessing and a burden. I don’t want to be responsible for 700 acres of land, on top of all the other land assets that he has. Well over $50k per year in property tax alone.

For context, I’m 25, I get paid $100k/year to work a cushy IT job I couldn’t care less about. I am also currently working on renovating and turning one of our properties into an Airbnb, short-term rental business.

It’s just way too much for me right now and I don’t know how to handle it all. How can I make time for my dreams? I can’t just throw away an amazing opportunity to work for myself and provide for my family off the investment that my dad made.

Is this just part of being a man? Making the sacrifices for your family at the cost of yourself? Does the responsibility get easier? Less daunting?

I want to be someone who embraces new beginnings, but everything is so nerve wrecking instead. I am nervous about my driving test that's a month from now, I am even nervous about the lessons beforehand. I didn't like my university and made no friends, I know it's time to move on and there is nothing left for me here, yet I am nervous to step out into the workforce and leave behind the comfort of academia.

I'm 22 and run a small online fitness coaching business alongside a full-time remote job. Online I'm the disciplined coach: positive, structured, telling people how to get their life together. But the people who actually know me in my hometown know me as the party guy. Drinking, drugs on nights out, girls. They send me videos and make comments, and I can tell they don't take the coaching side seriously. Even my closest friends kind of see me as fake. I don't think any of them would ever buy from me or back me.

I'll be honest, I'm not perfect away from the camera either. I vape and smoke weed, which feels ridiculous when I'm meant to be the fitness guy. I'm Muslim by background but I don't really practise, and I don't feel bad about that part. That's not really what this is about.

The thing is, I don't even think partying is the main problem. If I was abroad, going out and having a laugh with new people, I wouldn't mind it at all. It's being at home. I know so many people here, and they've all got me in this box. Everything I do gets read through that. It feels closed-minded and I can't find myself here.

On top of that I work from home, so most days I'm sitting in the same room all day. Nights out are where I get my people, the music, the dancing, the buzz. So even though I'm sick of the comedowns and the money, it still pulls me back.

I know there's more for me. I've worked really hard on my business and my job. But right now I feel like I'm slowly fading, stuck between who I was and who I'm trying to be.

Has anyone been through something like this? How did you break out of the version of you that people at home have in their heads? Did moving away help, or did you have to change first? And how did you replace the social side of partying without losing the parts you actually love?