Hey, so I know this sounds selfish and I feel absolutely terrible for thinking/feeling like this in the first place.

Every morning I wake up with crippling anxiety and depression. The anxiety is because of the MASSIVE to do list I’ll have for the day.

My days are filled with school runs, work, cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, preparing clothes for the next day, planning more meals, trying to spend quality time with my children, trying to keep up with foods/snacks my kids ask for. (My partner helps a lot, during evenings when he can after work. He’s full time, I’m part time ).

don’t get a single moment to myself, by the time the children are in bed and get a moment to myself, I’m already exhausted and have no energy to do anything. Now when I wake up I have a feeling of dread and anxiety at the thought of yet another day where I don’t get a chance to do anything that brings me joy. Another day of me looking after everyone but myself.

Now, I love my children and partner more than words could ever describe. I just wish I could balance their needs along with mine. Rather than skipping my own needs in order to keep up with theirs.

I feel so bad for feeling like this, I know this is normal stuff and every other parent manages this just fine. I feel like I’ve failed them.

I recently turned 18 and am struggling with things, so I decided to go to Reddit because I don’t really have anyone in my life I can talk to about this. I just want to know if life is really worth it. From what I've experienced, the only purpose of life is to just suffer, and I’m worried that's all there is. My whole life I've been tired and in pain, and it's just gotten so much worse. I wake up, lie in bed for hours while begging my body to just move at least an inch, then when I'm finally able to get up, I trudge my way through the rest of the day. My body constantly aches, I'm always nauseous, I'm constantly having panic attacks, I keep seeing and hearing things, I'm always exhausted, and everything has gotten way too much. When I go to the doctor about my physical problems, they tell me that I'm probably just too stressed out and it's all in my head, but when I go to the doctor about my mental health issues, I get just brushed off and ignored. My brain is always screaming at me, telling me I'm wrong. Wherever I try to do anything, I'm always questioning myself; just a few days ago I was trying to make myself ramen, and it took me six hours to try to decide if I should eat because I had eaten the same dish earlier that day, and I was scared that if I ate the same dish twice in a row, it would be considered improper. In the end, I wasn't even able to decide; I had to ask my roommate if it was allowed. Whenever I try to process my feelings, my thoughts tell me that I'm faking, that people are suffering so much worse than I am, and I need to appreciate the things I've been endowed with, but I can't help but be dramatic and throw myself a pity party. Every time something good happens in my life, it just makes me feel so much worse. If I can feel good, why then am I forced to feel so terrible all the time? I'm always dissociating or using weed and sleeping meds to try and make myself feel better or to stop my thoughts, but it's like I'm putting a band-aid on a broken arm; yes, it's helping, but it can only do so much. I just don't want my whole life to look like this. I'm still young, and people keep telling me it gets easier with age, but those are the same people who always preach about, “how easier it was as a kid,” and, “how much they miss it”. Am I supposed to suffer now and then suffer more in the future so I can look back and say, "I miss when it hurt less"? That doesn't seem right or worth it to me. In my anatomy class, when we were discussing certain cells, we researched how they just work and work, powering our bodies, and then they eventually die. Is that all I'm supposed to do? Am I just supposed to trek on aimlessly, making meaningless goals just to suffer and suffer and die in the end? Everyone is always saying how wrong it is to end it and that if everything doesn't make sense, I should just have fun and enjoy life to the fullest, but I'm already trying to do that. My fullest is just not enough… I don't want to end things, but I'm just so confused and apprehensive about my life. If anyone has any advice, I would really appreciate it, and apologies not only for writing so much but also for the people who had to read this; I hope that the people who did force themselves to read to the end has a good morning, evening, or night.

For the past 5 years, my dad has been developing 700 acres of land to turn into a campground resort. He’s spent well over $1 million and he tells me all the time that I (25M) will soon inherit it and have to take over the management.

His reason is because he wants me to take care of my siblings (13F and 14M) and my own family when I’m older.

The problem is: I don’t want to manage a fucking campground 3 hours away. I have dreams for myself and a family that I want to create too. And I don’t want to be responsible for my siblings. I have other dreams and passions in my life and every time he tells me that “I have to be the one to take over”, I just can’t sleep at night. It’s so much responsibility for a family that I didnt create, he did.

I’m afraid to tell him that it’s not my dream, just his. He tells me it’s his dream to leave something behind for his kids, but he doesn’t realize that it’s a blessing and a burden. I don’t want to be responsible for 700 acres of land, on top of all the other land assets that he has. Well over $50k per year in property tax alone.

For context, I’m 25, I get paid $100k/year to work a cushy IT job I couldn’t care less about. I am also currently working on renovating and turning one of our properties into an Airbnb, short-term rental business.

It’s just way too much for me right now and I don’t know how to handle it all. How can I make time for my dreams? I can’t just throw away an amazing opportunity to work for myself and provide for my family off the investment that my dad made.

Is this just part of being a man? Making the sacrifices for your family at the cost of yourself? Does the responsibility get easier? Less daunting?

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Hi I just want to come on here and ask about my spotting because it's been bugging me.

My last period started on September 30th until October 4th. My next estimated period is around November 5th.

I had protected sex on 10 October using a condom and did not take any pills.

A day after the sex (first time) I saw very very light spotting but without any discharge but people have told me that it's normal and most likely from the tearing of the hymen. The rest of the spotting started on the 17th, it was light red but very little. I have been spotting up to this present day and I'm getting really worried. I mostly only see the spotting when I wipe and it's often brown and mixed with my discharge. On 22 October I went to a gp clinic to ask about the spotting and the doctor checked my insides and told me there were no injuries and everything seemed normal. I took a pregnancy test on 24th October first thing in the morning and the result showed negative thankfully. I started noticing my breasts feeling sensitive recently as well. Today, Oct 28, I noticed the spotting became more and there's much redder blood in my discharge but it's not enough to consider a period. According to my app, it says I ovulated on the 21st.

Edit: I also ate a whole tub of pineapples (net weight:450g) on the 14th of October and papayas with the seeds. But for the papaya I ate half on the 14th and the other half bit by bit for a few days along with the seeds.

Hi, I am a 27(F) Lawyer. I have been practicing, or rather, miserably failing at practicing law for the last 3-4 years. I've mostly indulged in litigation and I absolutely resent it but I do not know what else to do.

I was very young when I had decided that I wanted to pursue law because I used to have good communication and language skills in school. Everybody around me would choose traditional career paths of practicing medicine or engineering and at the time law was fairly uncommon, at least in my hometown.

By some turn of events, I did end up studying law (from a rather average university) and found myself in the midst of litigation. Where I am from, it is common to find a senior lawyer and work with him to learn stuff. By the age of 27, I've already run out of 4 seniors now and it is generally not taken as a good sign in the community. It just never worked out with them because I could never find the opportunities to actually learn. And honestly, some of it is also because of my own shortcomings- I am impatient, I cry easily, I can't focus etc. Up until very recently I didn't even have my own vehicle to go around so it made going to diff courts much harder.

Last year I had taken a sabbatical in the name of preparing for Judicial services just to get out of the office because I'd just sit and cry on my desk at 10am. The sabbatical was nearing an end and I am always anxious about how I am getting older and have no career direction, I ended up applying to a firm randomly and somehow was hired. I absolutely hate that place.

Everything they do is somehow done through AI. Traditional Litigation offices are very informal but here everything is like a corporate jungle. I get mails at odd hours of the tasks I have not done yet. I am not supposed to do them at 2 am but still getting consistent mails at 2 in the morning is annoying. Anything I work on is instantly rejected. I am supposed to handle and advise clients independently but honestly I don't feel equipped to do it. I was anyway bad at law but the sabbatical took away everything that I knew. I don't understand the fast paced environment, I have to read everything multiple times, I get scared and feel small at work.

Last night it gave me a massive panic attack and i couldn't sleep the entire night and had to text my boss that I won't be able to come today. I do not want to go back tomorrow either but I'll have to. I want to quit but I hate being the one who quits each time. I am not tough enough for this but I do not know what else to do. This is the only thing I have ever worked towards. I am too scared and...feel like I'm too old to tell myself to finally let go of law and find something that doesn't send me into an anxiety spiral.

Hello everyone, I'm 26f, and still in college ( engineering) , living with my parents, unemployed, and single for past couple of years . I'm trying hard to finish my degree but it will take 1 more year . I also am trying to go on dates but since my life is messed up I can't understand what i need in a partner so end up cutting all the connections off . I will be 28 when I can officially start my life ... I'm also scared that with no job experience, at 28 it will hard for me to find a job or even a partner in life. I donno I feel so lost in life . Everyone is already settled and i feel stuck . Is 20s supposed to be this fucked up.

I feel like ending my life many times but i feel like it's just 1 year just hold on to it. But some days i wake up with no motivation at all. ( I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder 3 years ago) But i recovered 1 year ago. But sometimes i feel like I'm about to fall back to that whole so I try my best not to.

Hi, for context we are both 28. We’ve been friends since elementary and I find we don’t have a lot in common anymore. Her lack of filter seems to be changed but not for the better

In recent years she’s been asking me questions like how much am I making, how much is in my bank etc, and I am pretty sure that’s a rude question to ask someone.

Growing up she didn’t have a filter and could never get along with classmates etc. Unsolicitley singing in class and despite being told to stop, she’d always respond with “I don’t wanna”. No one knows why

When I last hung out with her almost a year ago she was still as whiny as ever and she has the exact playlist she did back when we were 11. Her socially inept friends that she hangs out with I am not friends with and have no interest in, she somehow always had to bring up about how she has more friends etc.

I never understood why she is more interested in quality over quantity, and anytime I have told her that so and so doesn’t seem too keen on hanging out etc., she’d say I was “just jealous” that “she had more friends than me” and how this relates is that I don’t think she’s matured much over the last 10 years, and doesn’t seem to understand the concept of money etc

Personally I don’t really consider her a close friend anymore as I feel I’ve drifted in recent years. The only people that I consider friends are some of my mum’s friend’s children who are closer to my age and who I have more in common with, but they’re in another province. And of course cousins too who are closer to my age. I’m 100% ok with this and honestly I always have been

The other night she messaged after she told me she thought she saw me out and about (wasn’t me, just someone who looked similar to me), when I told her that those were my friends she was all “what about me etc” so I didn’t exactly say “Yess bestie” or “No frig off”, just said “you aside”, bc I don’t wanna be rude just hope for an eventual fade out

We honestly have nothing to talk about, differing values, nothing in common, and it seems she didn’t grow or mature all that much.

Any thoughts or advice?

I had an amazing partner, unfortunately I lost myself and them. I get lost in relationships and start basing my future, my goals, essentially my life around them.

When I get into relationships I tend to lose sight of my goals, because building a family means so much to me. Yet, I can’t do that because my insecurities in myself lead to self sabotage.

I know my hobbies, art, nature (camping, hiking, etc.), reading, museums. I know what music and movies I enjoy. I know my values include loyalty, adventure, honesty, compassion, etc. I know myself and who I am at a base level. However, I have no idea how to plan a future for myself.

I don’t know how to find my direction. I’m in therapy, I journal, I meditate.
The dreams I had as a kid, teen, and young adult, don’t really fit where I’m at today.

My goals right now are to focus on self improvement and to build a family.. other than that im pretty lost.

I feel bleh about my career. I make ok money, I don’t want my job now forever. But I don’t know what else id even enjoy more.
I know I have depression, I have since I was at least 12 when I first got diagnosed, and im working with it. Life just seems meaningless when Im doing it alone. I’m content with sitting with myself, I go on self dates all the time. But happiness means so much more to me when shared.

I want to be someone who embraces new beginnings, but everything is so nerve wrecking instead. I am nervous about my driving test that's a month from now, I am even nervous about the lessons beforehand. I didn't like my university and made no friends, I know it's time to move on and there is nothing left for me here, yet I am nervous to step out into the workforce and leave behind the comfort of academia.

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice because I’m honestly starting to feel frustrated and a little insecure about my language skills.

I was born in the Netherlands, but I spent most of my life living in another country. I moved back to the Netherlands last April, and I’ve been working as a server at a theme park ever since.

The thing is, I speak eight languages fluently. You would think that would be an advantage, but lately, I’ve been struggling with mixing up words, tripping over my sentences, and sometimes putting sentences together incorrectly. I think switching between so many languages might be contributing to it, but I’m not entirely sure.

My biggest concern is Dutch. Even though I was born here, I never properly learned the language in school, and I feel like I’m now paying the price for that. My grammar isn’t always correct, and the kitchen staff have warned me multiple times because they sometimes don’t understand what I’m trying to communicate. I understand that clear communication is extremely important in hospitality, especially when orders need to be correct, but it’s becoming increasingly frustrating when I know what I want to say and just can’t seem to express it properly.

I’ve been given some options to help me maintain and improve my languages, which I appreciate. However, my main concern is improving my Dutch to a level where I can communicate confidently and professionally at work.

During my most recent conversation with my coach, they mentioned temporarily taking me out of the section where I take orders because they felt I wasn’t comfortable enough to do it correctly.
I understand why they’re considering this, and I don’t want to put my colleagues or customers in a difficult position. At the same time, it honestly hurts a little because I want to do my job well, and I don’t want my language difficulties to hold me back.

I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar, especially people who speak multiple languages or have returned to a country where they were born after living abroad for a long time.

How did you improve your fluency, grammar, and ability to switch between languages without getting your words mixed up?

Would you recommend taking formal Dutch lessons, practising through everyday conversations, reading more, or doing something else entirely?

I’d really appreciate any practical advice. I want to improve, become more confident, and be able to do my job without constantly worrying about whether people will understand me.

Me and my GF just broke up 3 weeks ago and we are currently in the middle of a 12month lease which ends in January. We initially agreed that it would be emotionally beneficial for us if I would move into my mother’s place til the lease is up. I’m currently paying half the rent and utilities. I just stayed at my mom’s place the past 2 days and it feels stupid paying for a place I don’t stay in anymore with an ex doing God knows what in there (she’s already actively dating). I agreed to follow her schedule so I’m out of her way as much as possible but that’s easier said than done. Should I just tough out at my mom’s place or go back and do the best I can to stay at the apartment to January?

Ever since i can remember, i’ve had a mild drinking problem which started with my ex and my father.

I remember not caring when people tried to get to know me better at my ex’s 21st party and waking up very hungover the morning after the party.

I also remember feeling very lightheaded usually after 2/3 beers or sometimes even 2 merlot glasses when socialising with my father and his girlfriend. It’s embarrassing that I’ve began this young and want to cut back straight away, but not stop drinking for good as i genuinely think it will affect me forming new friendships and will stop the coping mechanism.

Any advice from former alcoholics/people with former drinking problems would be appreciated. I will do my best to read all comments.

I’m 22F, and honestly, I don’t even know where to start.

I left my job four months ago because I wanted to look for better opportunities and build a better future for myself. I thought taking a step back, coming home, and preparing for something better would be the right decision. But it’s been four months, and I still haven’t found a job.

Being unemployed is already stressful enough. The uncertainty, the constant worrying about my future, and the feeling that I’m not moving forward are difficult to deal with. But what’s been hurting me the most is my situation at home.

Over these past few months, I feel like I’ve started seeing my parents differently. I always knew they could be strict, but I never realized how much their words and constant pressure could affect me mentally. Instead of feeling supported while I’m already struggling, I often end up feeling even more demotivated and pressured.

I understand that they might be worried about my future. I know being unemployed for months isn’t ideal, and I’m not pretending that everything is fine. I want to find a better job, become independent, and get my life back on track, too. I’m already aware of the situation, and I don’t need to be reminded of it every single day.

Sometimes, all I want is a little understanding. I want to be able to figure things out without feeling like I’m constantly disappointing someone. I want home to feel like a place where I can breathe, especially when the outside world already feels so overwhelming.

The hardest part is that I’m beginning to feel emotionally exhausted. I’m trying to figure out my career and my future, but I’m also struggling with the pressure and negativity at home. It’s making me question myself, my decisions, and sometimes even my ability to get things right.

I don’t know if I made the wrong decision by leaving my job. Maybe I should have handled things differently. But I can’t change the past, and I’m trying to figure out what to do next.

I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest and hear from people who might have gone through something similar.

How do you deal with parents who constantly demotivate you when you’re already struggling? How do you protect your peace and keep moving forward when your own home doesn’t feel emotionally supportive?

I'm 17, I've never been to a formal school as I am homeschooled, and I live in Chicago. When I told my mom I wanted to be an electrician earlier this year she was shocked because she feels she's been raising me to be an artist because she knows I'm good at art. Obviously she wants me to go down whatever that route is of being an artist rather than being an electrician. She believes that it's not for me, I haven't done electrician related things before, I'm not the sharpest at math, etc. However, I don't have as much faith in art as a career to make reliable money as I do in being an electrician and I believe I can do it. She thinks I could likely get a scholarship and asked me to at least get an art degree with a minor in something business related so I have something to "fall back on".

I want to listen to her advice but I just feel like it might be a waste of time money and energy, especially considering I never wanted to go to college in the first place. If I became an electrician now though, I would never know what could've happened, do you guys think it's worth it to just hold off on being an electrician for 4 years and go to college?

Hii!
So long story short my uncle was my best friend when i was younger he used to come over alot play with me feed me and at some point he even babysat me when my parents would travel for days or be out late.Anyways he started mo*esting me when i was 11 and i didn’t tell anyone because obv at that age he easily scared me but now its been five years.it still happens from time to time. Sometimes he even sleeps at our house since he’s not married and im genuinely over it i can not take it anymore but the thing is idk how to tell my mom its such hard confronting to do especially when my relationship with her is so bad i mean it.its so so bad and shes like sooo close with her brother im almost sure she won’t believe me.he keeps my mouth shut because he has pics of me.its so mentally exhausting what should i do?

Advice asap( also im a male so please don’t misgender )
:)

I’m 21 years old and I’ve been pretty aimless these last few years. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, no career ideas, no hobbies, wanted to go to college but don’t know what to even go for. I have no friends, and live in an area far away from anything interesting so it’d be a hassle if I even wanted to go out somewhere, and I quit my draining overnight job a year ago so I haven’t really have anything to preoccupy my brain with. Just been living with my parents helping with the pets.

Thanks to all this, any time I have to interact with someone is kinda embarrassing and depressing for me. I was already not the best socially, but now I don’t even have any idle garbage to say when I’m asked what I’m up to, and have to hear the same variation of “everyone goes at their own pace”. I feel like I shouldn’t even bother opening my mouth at this point.

I get really anxious about normal events now. My sister wants me to meet and hang out with her partners brothers, but I’m really not into the idea. I don’t really want strangers first impression of me to be what I am now, I’m not great company. My family was invited to a wedding that I have to attend this week and I’m not remotely close to the bride like my mother and sister are, I’m positive she doesn’t care if I show up or not but Iim not in a position to refuse since I have nothing else to do. I’m worried about the wedding because I’ll have to talk to people and I’m sure I’ll be asked what I’m up to and have to embarrassingly explain once again that I don’t know what to do.

Im not sure if this makes sense but to sum it up I feel like as a person I can’t add to anything in life, not to my own or anyone else’s. Advice?

I don't know where to start or if I'm in the right place. I really xan't see a way through any of this.

49F and I have totally lost my way in life. I used to be happy go lucky, always laughing, had a good job, independent etc. Long story short, I was in a relationship that ended in 2016. He was very narcissistic and coercive and I didn't really see what was happening until he did a moonlight flit in the middle of the day whilst I was at work. I haven't had a relationship since then, I was totally put off, despite wanting to find aomeone, I just haven't been able to face dating etc. We lived in a house owned by my family and when we split, he left and I stayed. During lockdown, my mum (who is one of the house owners) moved in with me on what was supposed to be a temporary basis (she still does now).

Not long after this, I was made redundant from a fairy corporate, responsible job and decided to become self employed, setting up my own little business. It ended up taking off and I was doing very well, lots of orders and struggling to keep up with demand. I had a lot of debt from previous years but it wasn't a problem and I was easily able to manage repayments. Then my business took an absolute dive mid last year and I have totally struggled to get it back on track.

The debts have piled up. I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul, I've buried my head in the sand and ignored letters, calls etc. Tax and VAT returns are in a complete and utter mess and I don't know where or how to start even trying to sort any of that out.

My mental health has been at an all time low and to be honest I'm surprised I'm still hanging on. I'm on medication which was recently increased by the Dr and that made a huge difference and I felt like just could get through this.

But my problems just seem too big and I am petrified of what lies ahead. I'm literally scared of my own shadow.

I've managed to keep the business going just managing to cover essentials (rent, council tax etc). I have no choice but to move as the house needs to be sold and I just don't see how I can as I literally cannot afford anything else (rent is lower as family owned).

My mother is extremely toxic and I just wish more than anything I could up sticks and go somewhere new and start again. But how can I.

Every day I say to myself, tomorrow ill send some emails explaining my situation but what's the point. Every day comes around and I'm too scared to do it and have huge avoidance of dealing with things.

Thank you if you've got this far... just trying to find some clarity and see if theres a way out of this mess

I have been working since 2010 divorved remarried but did everything in life on my owm. My mother amd grandmother took care of us. As my mother got remarried thrice. Now when i got divorced i was cheated on and there was abuse now my partner is nice but my body requires rest now amd whenever i say i meed to leave job fpr break because i cant function he answers logically and becomes aggressive i am so dissapointed also my body is shouting but i also afraid to take this step please share your experiences

I’m having a disagreement with my sublessor about whether a spring semester sublease (January–May) normally means 5 months of rent or 4.

I feel like since the spring semester runs from January through May, it makes sense for it to be 5 months of rent, even if the move-in and move-out dates are around mid-January and mid-May.

Am I wrong? For those who have subleased, how is rent usually calculated for spring semester subleases?

I can’t even say it is relationship advice when our time together lasted a month or so. I don’t have the same number as I did so she couldn’t text me if she ever had since we last spoke or if she wanted to now. I don’t have social media anymore outside of TikTok which I even deleted now. But I would look up my name on SendTheSong and Unsent Messages which is just not a name many people have and it shares a name with a pro sports team. And usually nothing exists there. But a few months ago something did, and it included a song that I knew every lyric to and loved so much. And I questioned if it was her. Months have gone by now but I keep thinking of messaging her, and I’ve even left messages on that same website built to house the unsent words of strangers and I’d include a nickname specific to her hoping maybe she’d see it. But I never will know if she has or will see it. The question will end up being, should I reach out? Is there a world where sometimes we part from someone meant to return and all it takes in one person reaching out? Or am I delusional with a twisted world view of what it means to be human and in my actions which tore us apart, I also took away the only chance I was given to intertwine our lives together? Story after this I guess sorry I legit only made a Reddit to ask this because I don’t want to mess it all up again. But I was seeing someone over two years ago now I think, who in the short time together made me feel more than I really ever have. I was broken and I pushed so hard for a label hoping I could somehow prove to myself I’m worth it if she would have embraced a title so quickly. I feared so much that I’d lose her and in that fear I was the main one to push her away. We got drunk on too many bottles of wine, and I tried to say “I love you” and she begged me not to. I was trying to prove to the world I was loveable and desired for no reason because after all is said and done I just want to see her. So I didn’t say I loved her there as she begged. The flowers I brought her on that date she didn’t end up taking inside with her when I took her home the next morning. She was always scrutinized at home, living with her brother, and her childhood she was labeled horrible things by her family and those around her. I can claim I loved her but my actions never showed that when I was met with resistance. She asked to slow down and even in my 20s I was too immature and damaged that my response was to lash out in pain and blame her for even having spoken such a thing due to the fact I felt it would ruin everything now and I’d be unable to do regress myself enough to correctly just take our time. I said horrible things to her at the end when I felt like she was lying to me about things, like her grandfather being sick when she told me she hated her grandfather for the things he’d say to her growing up. I took everything after that as an excuse to just avoid me in anyway she could and I can’t even blame her for doing so. I’d avoid me too. I made it about me in the end and after having broken things off I kept trying to meet up with her just to get my things back like clothes and my Switch. In the end when I didn’t get responses back I checked the app we met on where she popped up and it said she was active. I lost it and just told her to keep everything and I dropped off the things I had of hers still. I told her I never wanted to see her let alone speak to her because I felt like I had been cheated on which was disgusting of me. I know I wasn’t ok but it doesn’t excuse my attempts at trying to hurt her in some twisted plot meant to “balance” the hurt between us. I still think about her and the many nights we spent together just talking in my car at the beach. So many things in life from strawberries to the ocean are connected to her in my mind. Maybe that’s payback to forever be reminded of her existence through the most beautiful views or through the things I used to love. I’m not going to list out everything she did that I felt were red flags because it doesn’t matter to me anymore. They followed after my fruitless attempts to bind down a woman who was just learning to love herself and learning to fly. I want nothing more than to reverse time, and just sit with her. Even if we never would have ended up together, I just would have liked another week or even a day with her just to soak in those moments of peace. Needless to say I looked her up on TikTok after years of fighting it. I saw her again and I felt shame for the fact I acted like such a child. I felt disgust in myself for not having just enjoyed her kindness instead of forcing my desire to be loved onto her. She loved me in different ways without needing to say it. The way she rested her head on my chest, and the way she’d laugh uncontrollably in front of me. I’m sure through her childhood and in her pain she was terrified to let anyone close and I ended up being the perfect example of why she should be. I sound horrible in this I’m sure and I’d rather that be the case than to again speak ill of her and convince myself I was faultless. I don’t want to message her in hopes she’ll forgive me, and I don’t want to feel better about myself. I want to message her because I miss her laugh, I miss listening to her sing, and I would gladly walk alongside her slowly, year after year, if it just meant I could watch her shine again. I shouldn’t have looked her up I know, I shouldn’t have left my own SendTheSongs, and I question if I am really a man if I have to ask the internet what to do instead of just doing what I think is best. But I don’t know what is best. Someone I’m sure will say it’s limerence and I get that too but I’ve felt that for so many others in my life but it’s only her who remains in my mind so often. I know I can claim I know and really just be talking nonsense. I hope I’m not. Part of me imagines us reconnecting and catching up and the other part of me worries she’s not even alive anymore because the posts from her TikTok are old now. My stomach hurts my mind is torturing me and if the result at the end became I find out she’s safe, healthy, loved by another and happy I would be fucking grateful regardless if that means my own heart shatters knowing I’m not the one who gets to love her anymore. I’d move on with life eventually. But maybe it was her who left that message for me with the song I love, and she feels the same. Maybe she’s tried to reach out but my number changed and my social medias don’t exist anymore. I thought about even just messaging her friend to ask if she’s ok and not to tell her so that she’d never know I reached out. Just so I could know she’s safe and breathing. I don’t want to remove her wings, I don’t want her to tell me she loves me, but I do miss her so much. What should I do? Should I make an account somewhere and message her or not? Would it be too much even just to message her friend? I would have loved to just share a milkshake again, even if it was only as friends and never more like it was before. She kissed me first on our first date, after she shared her fears and her past with me and I shared mine with her. And as much as I wish I could hold her and share a moment like that again, I really just wish I knew she was ok. Sorry for the long one.

I am currently completing my masters in school psychology. Being a school psychologist is something I’ve always wanted to do, but some of the professors make it seem like we just do assessments and then pass along the data and move to the next kid. This doesn’t make me super excited to work in that field. Except I don’t know what else I would do…

I want to do something with my life. I want to help people. I want to make the world a better place, a world that I would feel comfortable bringing kids into.

Feeling lost and looking for guidance maybe? Or someone who feels the same? Reassurance? I’m not really sure.

Is there any specific ideas anyone has, any problems they feel are being looked over?

My Ex Is Marrying My University Friend, and He Doesn’t Know About Our Past?
Backstory
I am M22, I had a girlfriend in high school I was very deeply involved with me and her dated from grade 10 to 12 and then 1 year out of school.
She fell pregnant by me and was at 6 months since she had a miscarriage. We ended things due to her not coping with it well as it was an unplanned pregnancy and it caused a lot of drama. She cut me off and stopped taking to me due to the feeling she had associated with me.
Four Years Later
Currently it’s 4 years since this happened and I have not stopped missing her since. I always Hoped she would come back to me and we will make up and somehow we will be together, to be honest it kept me going.
How I Met My Friend
During this time I was in university where I met a guy and me and him became friends. Not very close but he was a “talk to someone every odd day online or in person” sort of friend. Very chill and cool guy.
The Wedding Invitation
He randomly texted me saying he is getting married and I am invited and so are my other friends etc. I am happy to go and I’m cheering, until I asked who the girl was.
Yep it was my ex who I still have feelings for.
She was dating this guy I met at university for the past 2 years and I never even asked. To be noted she hasn’t been in contact with me for the past 4 years.
How I Feel About This
Now I know I feel like I’m dragging this one sided love on for too long man, but I can’t help but feel devastated and sick to my stomach thinking about her being with this guy.
Crazy thing is she doesn’t even know that I am her future husbands friend.
Am I being too childish this has been fucking with me ever since I found out and I’m so devastated.
What My Friend Doesn’t Know
Also to be noted my friend didn’t know until I told him I she was my talking stage nothing serious.
I had to cover up for her because if my friend finds out we were intimate and had a past he would lose his mind and def leave her.
I know she hasn’t told him about what happened because he won’t be able to bear it. She specially told me she would never tell any of her partners about this.
The Main Question: Do I Tell Him?
Now do I tell him but if I do a marriage that is taking place next month is going to break and everyone is already invited. I’d ruin it for both of them.
I can’t get my self to tell my friend.

I am an East Coast girl desperately trying to choose a place on the West Coast to move!!!

My boyfriend was offered an amazing opportunity to work for a company residing in any of the major cities on the West Coast (San Diego, LA, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle). We've known this was a possibility since April of 2026, and have visited the West Coast twice since then. However... I have no idea what to do. I am from a small town in rural MD, not too far outside of D.C. I'm 22 and have never lived anywhere else. I love where we live; it's accessible, easy to travel to lots of different states, slow-paced, but easy enough to get to the city for better food options, concerts, and big events. I love it, but I do want some change. San Diego and Portland are my top choices.

My biggest hurdle is the weather. I teach outdoors and really REALLY do not enjoy the winter weather in MD. I love teaching, but we had a pretty brutal ice storm last year that taught me this kind of climate just isn't for me. I feel like San Diego has 0 available land for the kind of outdoor programs I want to get into, but Portland has several thriving nature schools. San Diego is always kind of warm; will I miss the seasons? Oregon has lots of land, but is it always gloomy and wet? I've only visited twice, and we really need to make our decision by January at the latest. I guess I'm asking what locals would recommend: any commutable towns on the West Coast that offer a more relaxed environment with access to the city? Is Norcal a good compromise? Any fellow East Coast people who can reassure me this is a good idea?

My boyfriend is flexible with where he goes, but I'm worried I will not be able to find what I'm looking for out there and feel really stuck. His contract would only be for two years, but for some reason it all feels very permanent. Sorry for the rant; I'm going crazy thinking of this every single day. I want to step out of my comfort zone... but also be responsible and know what I'm getting into. Thank you!