Early apologies for spilling my personal life here. I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this.
For context I’m (28, M) currently abroad and am closing in on the pathway to citizenship. I have a more stable career path in healthcare in the country I live in presently and hence the move. In the event it happens (by the looks of it .. seemingly unlikely at times) and I do become a citizen, I constantly fret about my parents health and mental wellbeing.
I’m not out to my parents yet and doubt if I ever want to come out because they’ll probably never accept it or it might come at the cost of a mental breakdown and/or physical health issues (dad’s a cardiac patient as it is). Plus, Ive never felt the need to come out really unless it’s due to societal marriage pressure.
My parents are financially well off, don’t engage in anything risky health wise thankfully, and are generally very responsible people. They’re not perfect parents and Ive generally had a very loving childhood albeit the usual issues with my mum and dad not being very understanding of millennial/gen z issues. This has led to tiny rifts in my relationship with dad especially. But on the whole things are okay.
However, they chose to retire in a godforsaken tiny town without much amenities and refuse to move to an apartment in the city close to a hospital. Dad is exceptionally stubborn and has massive health anxiety issues, refuses any help at all etc. They’re okay for now but wont be for too long because thats human nature - and I’m so so scared that something will happen to them and I’ll fall apart because my only sibling and I are both abroad. And she being a girl isn’t as expected to look after my parents compared to me. I don’t mind looking after my parents at all provided they listened to me and didn’t dismiss my advices for their health.
Tricky situation as it is, topped off by me being gay and perpetually single without a partner or friends or family really to help me out? Caregiving is very hard and I’m at my wits end thinking of a plan. Plus, just overthinking about what might happen to me in my old age when I’m old and single with health issues.
Does anyone have any advice about this? Has anyone moved back home from abroad to sort this out and support their parents? How do you manage caregiving (for example for a parent with chronic illness) with having a partner? Or without a partner or anyone really for support? Please let me know if thats alright thank you!