It's the shadow

I have been shamefully limerant for an ex for 10+ years. It causes me immense pain and depression. I'm aware that I've projected my self worth onto this man but I have a block when it comes to integrating it. Despite his many flaws and knowing we will never be together I cant get past this. He appears in my dreams constantly. If I could press a button to make this stop I would.Could anyone give me some info on what could help?

I can agree with your statements in all details and merely regret I am not in a position to give you practical examples of my views. Everything in me has arisen from direct experience of the mentally ill or “seekers after truth.”

For me a symbol is the sensuously perceptible expression of an inner experience. A religious experience strives for expression and can be expressed only “ symbolically” because it transcends understanding. It must be expressed one wav or another, for therein is revealed its immanent vital force. It wants to step over, as it were, into visible life, to take concrete shape. (The spirit shows its effective power only in the reshaping of matter.)

An idol is a petrified symbol used stereotypically for “magical” effects. It can have this fascinating effect so long as it touches those lavers of the unconscious from which the symbol arose (somewhere else, i.e., with other people). Its effect is just the opposite of the symbol’s.

The symbol is an expression of the enrichment of consciousness through experience. The idol betokens a regression to the unconscious, i.e., an impoverishment of consciousness.

The Master speaks a “power word” born of the richness of his vision, the disciple merely conjures with it. For the Master the Communion means: I give you myself, my flesh, my blood. For the disciple this means: I eat the god, his flesh and blood. The ritual anthropophagy of primitive man (the cave dweller) echoes fascinatingly deep down in us: we can do it again, mysteriously sanctified, and yet we are not primitive brutes but are sanctified by the god’s flesh. In a few cases I have found a quite unquestionable blood lust in connection with the Communion! Here we have religious license for what is primitive and no longer permissible. The magical word is one that lets “a primordial word resound behind it” ; magical action releases primordial action.

I am indeed convinced that creative imagination is the only primordial phenomenon accessible to us, the real Ground of the psyche, the only immediate reality. Therefore I speak of *esse in anima*, the only form of being we can experience directly. We can distinguish no form of being that is not psychic in the first place. All other realities are derived from and indirectly revealed by it, actually with the artificial aid named science.

The rest can be found in Volume 1 of his letters, page 60

Dr. Robert Moore described centring and calmness as a line of development in the instinctual King archetype of a man’s psyche.

Did he think they were mandala symbols? What is a mandala symbol?

I need to stop looking for a logical explanation for why things didn't work out with him. My brain wants a logical answer, but experiencing this intensity and attraction towards him, it was only my own mental state, and not a unique cosmic conspiracy.

The theory of projection, the unique traits I see in him are actually parts of me that have been sitting undeveloped. Because they are my anima/animus. I believed I needed to possess them to feel complete. He cracked open my heart, forcing me to step out of my comfort.

This relationship failed so I could focus on my own individuation. He was a catalyst, not a permanent partner. The qualities that drew me, are things I need to integrate into my own life. The pain of letting them go is the friction of breaking my old habits. My goal should be to take accountability for my own growth and develop those traits myself, rather than mourning what I lost in him. Stop mourning the relationship that cannot be. To look inward, identify what they triggered, and take responsibility for embodying that higher potential independently.

This is just me working on myself. Making me a happier person. Don't take it as letting go. Whether together or apart these are truths I have to face.

Resurrection
I’ve been trying to understand my inner landscape for a while now, and this painting comes from a place I’ve been visiting in my imagination. Muddy marshlands, graves scattered across the landscape, an unsettling atmosphere. It’s a recurring visual world that I first encountered while practising active imagination, a technique developed by Carl Jung. I don’t know exactly what everything means yet, but certain images have stayed with me.

This painting feels particularly important because of where I am in my life right now. I’ve been trying to separate who I actually am from who other people think I should be. A lot of that has to do with family, expectations, and the identities we grow into before we’re old enough to question them. At some point, you realise that the person you’ve been presenting to the world might not necessarily be the person you want to become.

The grave in this painting represents an old identity. A version of me that, in some ways, had to die. I imagine the gravestone burning, not as an act of destruction alone, but as a way of making that death irreversible. I was buried there, in a sense, but somehow I’ve come back from the dead.
What’s interesting to me is that the figure doesn’t look triumphant. He’s standing outside the grave, looking at it almost with bewilderment. He’s alive, but he doesn’t seem to understand how or why he’s here. I like that uncertainty. Resurrection sounds like a grand, almost heroic event when you put it into words, but I imagine the actual experience of becoming someone new to be far more confusing. You leave something behind without necessarily knowing what comes next.

I don’t want to force a neat interpretation onto this painting. I’m still figuring things out myself. Maybe that’s the point of working with these images in the first place. They seem to emerge before I have the language to explain them, and painting gives me a way to stay with them a little longer.

For now, I see this as a moment of separation from an old self. Not a finished transformation, not some enlightened version of me standing triumphantly above his past. Just a man who has somehow found himself outside his own grave, looking at what remains of the person he used to be.
And trying to figure out what to do next.

Or, to be more accurate, what Jung bought to the mainstream was sanitized versions of the occult. Let me give you an example:

A lot of this spooky shit is presented as demons and such things in order to A) keep the plebs away and B) offer hints about what kicks beneath the surface.

Archetypes came from astrology, Gnosticism and spirit communication.

Individuation and the Shadow were lifted directly from Western Alchemy and tribal initiation things.

Synchronicity was the I Ching and astrology with context stripped and huge drop in res.

His whole family lineage was steeped in this field and as any practicing magickian will tell you:

"Imagination is the most important thing, second to will".

How may of you have gone beyond your idol, I'm wondering? Even studying one of the OGs lays out his whole Game as you see where he lifted and riffed for the gifts he remixed and thats before we get into where they got their inspiration as whats new to the West and occult as hell was actually common knowledge in the lands filled with melanin but thats another topic.

Seeing as my posts aren't exactly setting this sub ablaze I don't think y'all are my kinds of peeps, really. And thats cool as fan because where you're at is interesting as heck but going beyond it is where the real magick happens, pun intended. Not downplaying ya man or anything as what he did and the time that kicked was a truly Herculean effort type thing but I'm genuinely starting to think the Jungalist was a vehicle of controlled dissemination of certain occulted datasets to the West to see how they handled them in their mainly linear consciousness. A catalyst, if you will.

The fact there was no progress hence is probably why they haven't unleashed the flutes yet. That said, the media aspect is fairly dripping in occultism since way back when so they just pivoted the method when the academics didn't want it into some place else.

Movies, especially, are filled with such things...

Last man on earth scenario: humanity has been wiped out via engineered viruses and the absence of a shared reality to offset the encroachment of liminal beings into our world means the supernatural creeps back into the lonely world of the last man on earth so that instead of vampires a la I Am Legend you have supernatural entities haunting the this last man. Kind of gets me thinking about the fact that marginalised people experience more of the supernatural (which is adjacent to mental illness) because they are less "submerged" in the world's current consensus reality which is that of scientific rationality and a worldview which is metaphysically a complete rejection of the supernatural as its foundational claim to legitimacy. Do more primitive societies experience greater supernatural occurrences? I'm not sure, but we do know in some cultures auditory and visual hallucinations are seen as a blessing and are experienced in a more positive light. In the West, psychosis is tinged with taboo and peril and thus clinically (scientistic term) treated to the end of reducing the so-called symptoms, and largely welcomed by the one experiencing psychosis. Also, is it possible that with every action an equal and opposite reaction, the larger our shared consensus reality, the larger liminal states we are "creating", so that liminal states, liminality, and liminal beings grow in proportion to their denial? A bit clearer: liminality, as experienced by individuals, could just be the collective unconscious of those in consensus reality, and the rational part of the brain, collectively represented as science, is battling the deeper evolutionary impulses which are represented through symbolism and engaged with symbolically in primitive cultures. And as the process of the hyper rational society creates more liminality, reality itself will break down and rational society will rationalise it further, thus a feedback loop like a star collapsing into a black hole.

i dont mean to be self centric but i noted others expose their journey, and then i think maybe its ok. i understand integrating profound defensive self centricity, narcissism and grandiosity are my current journey, even as i lived my last 45 years seeking invisibility and self martyrship. A middle ground is the right answer. I covered myself in dirt and dust to try and hide so I would not be hurt anymore. I never ever wanted to be part of this world. Humans are horrible monsters. Ive tried so hard to hide and not seem threatening, as maybe I can just be left alone. Maybe I can live in empty spaces, in empty places, make piles of dust into little castles, only my voice to echo as I sing little songs. My adventures all alone, clay I sculpt with my hands, dug from the earth, my little world of beauty. humans are monsters.

My dreams were so beautiful. Cliffs of red rock, landscapes of ocean, houses on hills overlooking the world. I lived as a dream.

im not supposed to be here.

I hate this. This world is horrible. its not the beautiful place i lived in, not the world i should be in. Its so awful here and Hate it. I want to go home. I swam in the ocean there. I want to go home. I miss my home so much. It was so beautiful. Everything here is so wrong.

i hate that I am here. I mever asked to be here. I never wanted to be here. im not supposed to be here. i was t supposed to be here, its horrible here. everything here is just horrible.

im trying very hard. i listen to dreams. im learning. im trying very hard but I hate this. but Im trying very hard. Everyday i learn new things and im getting better. m trying to be better and stronger and I know Ill get there and i need to be brave, strong, keep stepping forward.

I know all that I encompass spent so my time growing and i k ow I am supposed to keep growing and totality is next. I am so lost I hate myself, I just want to go home. I cant be the final answer. I just want to hide. I just dont want to be hurt anymore. I just want to be all alone in a world that is all my own. I cant be the final answer.

The world I lived in was so beautiful. The dirt was red, but water so blue. It poured from cliffs, Pools, ocaen, giant creatures lived within it. I would sit on the water and they swan under my feet. I felt so safe as they held me. The sky was so beautiful, variegated, clouds. I visited houses, I was kept safe, always held. My world was so beautiful.

maybe we all are not supposed to be here. Maybe some if us are meant to never be real.

Hello everyone, last year I came out from a relationship with a diagnosed Psycopath, yes yes I was naive and young and thought I could fix her, after being coldly discarded last year because I literally felt like I was just an empty shell and she knew it, this past month I started looking at myself at why could feel others emotions so deeply like they were my own, after alot of introspecting and solitude I found out I had an innate sensitiveness (Empath) due to my childhood traumas and dysfunctional parents.

Anyways enough with the sob story, I came upon the work of Carl Jung which I found highly fascinating although very intellectual, what fascinated me even more was his work about individuation, I always had this inner urge to be free never knowing with it really meant, his work on individuation really resonated with me, it feels like this is it, this is what is meant to be truly free and one with oneself.

Just wanted to share that I am finally starting to find the way to find myself, I know it won't be easy and will be the work of my lifetime, but I am feeling really hopeful plus I had some really meaningful and symbolic dreams which made me very positive.

Cheers everyone, I hope we all find our way to wholeness and above all keep being whole.

Hi! Here’s some info before going into the description of my dream.
- I’m a female.
- I’m 21 years old.
- I’m from the south of Italy.
- My family is very catholic, especially my grandparents.
- I’m a spiritual person, and i have always been, since i was a child.
If you need anything else, let me know! Now, for the dream: it’s night, i’m standing in my balcony and i’m staring at the sky. There aren’t any stars, but the Moon isn’t the same, it’s red, very red, it almost seems like it’s spilling blood, and it very big. That’s not all, because even the surface isn’t normal, it’s seems like there are symbols on it, they seem related to ancient egyptian iconography, at least that’s what i think in the dream. I feel like i’m the only person in the world who is seeing this, it feels like it’s just for me. I feel scared, but not like when you watch a horror movie and you get scared from the jump scares; this fear is different, very deep, and i carried with me when i woke up.

I tried active imagination and falling in a tube or in a hole is a persistent pattern that goes through all my imaginated pictures... what does that mean?

Wanted to share what I've been experiencing recently

Have had a lot of neurotic problems, the source of which was half unconscious, but all my tendencies and compelxes were obviously pointing me in the direction of my wound.

In the past few weeks had recurring dreams that I was an amputee missing a leg, at least 3-4. Then I met an amputee in real life missing the same leg, weird coincidence. And then the realization of the "amputation" I suffered from came into consciousness and became full of despair. Everything started to fall into place, lots of hopelessness and denial. But thankfully I have read enough Jung and others to understand that this is the test I have to go through if I want to really live this life.

There is a lot of flying away from our problems, Jung is the cure for this, but his ideas are so extravagant sounding sometimes his work can become a fantasy escape. Its real work, believe me, its not what you want to feel at all. Angels don't come swooping in and make everything right. But I'm convinced with care and a sober mind Jung can help anyone come face to face with reality and foster an actual spiritual basis and not just, as he would say, "autoeroticism."

Good luck, for all of you who are earnestly trying to live this life.

2 nights in a row I’ve had a very similar dream. It’s a malevolent man who is trying to hurt me. He is vicious and enraged and I feel his anger towards me. I keep trying to fight him off, but he physically overpowers me. I then decide to use my wits and outsmart him without fighting back physically. It works and I manage to outsmart him. This whole time I’m screaming and calling out for help but it never comes. When I outsmart him and keep him restrained, I’m left with the sadness of feeling alone in my fight, but in shock I did it alone. It feels like my animus/shadow is the malevolent man. It feels like I’m finally accepting that individuation is transforming my perceived loneliness into the power that’s been within me all along. I used to feel that my introversion was too isolating and a deep negative flaw that needed to be fixed. Now, I’m starting to feel empowered by it and I no longer have shame about my introverted and guarded nature. Anyone want to give their interpretation?

I just started exploring Jung, so excuse my lack of knowledge here, but I have a valid question:

Of all the scenarios below, which one do you identify with and why?

1- You are familiar with the texts, theory, concepts etc. But haven’t really experienced/ practiced the actual processes of meeting the unconscious in anyway, or tapping into the magic.

2- you are familiar with the theory (even superficially), AND have had significant experiences with the psyche and have tapped into some magic.

3- you are familiar with the theory and have experienced some stuff but you wouldn’t call it magic really.

How I’d define magic here: something you’ve discovered about our human capabilities that most people wouldn’t believe are even possible. So not particularly breaking any physical laws but absolutely tapping into some inter dimensional phenomena.

Note: I personally have had some experience with psychic phenomena that I wouldn’t really tell most people because of how crazy (amazingly fascinating) they are.

Carl Jung wrote, “The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul.” (The Meaning of Psychology for Modern Man, 1933–1934). <Cite refs={\["turn420051search0","turn420051search12"\]}/>

I dreamed that a man's sister, with whom I had never interacted directly in waking life but whom I associated with indirect shade or disapproval in connection with him, approached me warmly.

The dream unfolded in 3 scenes, each with its own setting and interaction in a series of recurring dreams that happened over days and weeks (this was dream 3 of 6)

Waking-life context: This is a relationship with a substantial shared history, a period of separation, and a later reconnection. There is affection and some continued contact.

I had literally withdrawn, was completely far from thinking about him, talk less of his family members whom i had barely met despite background non-receptiveness: they are tight-knit.

Dream 3

Scene 1: The church and the seat

I entered a church through the central entrance. Inside, there were three main columns or sections, each divided into two halves, with sizeable passages between them. There were also aisles running along the far-left and far-right walls.

I initially walked toward the far-left side, close to the wall, looking for somewhere to sit. Someone who had entered with me had already found a seat.

On the far-right wall aisle, I noticed another person, possibly a church warden, who seemed to be indicating that there might be a place available. Before I went over, however, a particular sister appeared in the middle aisle, in the second half of the seating area. She raised her hand and signalled for me to come to her.

She deliberately moved inward from the far-right edge, rearranged the seating, and made room for me at the far-right end of a row. She then sat beside me.

Later, we moved to the first bench in the first half of the church, positioned in the middle aisle and facing the altar.

The sister began asking about my position with her brother. The atmosphere felt as though the matter had already been settled within the family. It did not feel like an interrogation or an acceptance test. Rather, she seemed to be orienting me, helping me understand the family and its dynamics.

I listened as she spoke about her family. I shared some things about mine. At one point, I explained that I am quiet and that my quietness should be taken as part of who I am, rather than interpreted as rejection or as something abnormal.

Scene 2: The river and the sister inside it

The dream shifted to a river.

I was standing on a paved surface, something like the pavement of a bridge above the river. I was not standing on the riverbank or leaning over the water. I was slightly behind a boundary, on the paved structure above the moving water.

The sister was lower than me, positioned in the middle of the river itself. She was talking to me, explaining something or orienting me. I remember being surprised that she was there, in the river, speaking to me from that position.

Then I noticed that she was inside a deliberately constructed enclosure.

It was made of cement. The outer structure rose to about chest height, while inside it was a smaller, darker enclosure that came to somewhere below the knee. The river continued flowing around the structure, but the sister was not being swept away by the current. She was situated within this constructed space in the middle of the moving water.

On either side of the river were broad stretches of short, natural grass.

The current was flowing in the compass direction toward me.

I was on the paved structure above the river, observing from a separate position, while the sister was situated within the river's flow, inside this defined enclosure, speaking to me.

Scene 3: Looking beneath the bench

In another part of the dream, the sister and I were outside, in a corridor-like space.

There was a small bench designed for two people. I looked underneath it and noticed some strange things. I remember something involving a rat and a situation that suggested conflict or trouble. The details were unusual and somewhat concerning.

The sister's response was not to investigate everything or become involved. Instead, she taught me to behave as though I had not seen what was underneath the bench and to avoid involving myself in it.

In the church, the sister summoned me, made room for me, sat beside me, and helped me understand the family context.

At the river, she occupied a defined position within the moving water while I remained on the paved structure above it. She spoke to me from her position, and I observed from mine.

Under the bench, the lesson changed. I was being taught that seeing something does not necessarily mean I must intervene, investigate, or take responsibility for it.

The dream seemed to move from being given a place, to receiving orientation, to learning discernment.

Its most striking contrast was between the river, which continued moving, and the cemented enclosure that gave the sister a defined place within it. She was in the moving system without being swept away by it. I, meanwhile, remained outside the water, observing and listening as she spoke to me from there apparently 'lecturing/teaching' about 'the family' i guess

The other dreams

Dream 1: Reception. At a family home, the man's mother (the only person whom in real life i never knew her stance coz she never involved in the conversation, that was always skepticism at best to non-receptiveness and hostility at worst from the rest) took both my hands and conveyed something like, “Finally, you're here.” I quietly received the welcome. The man cautions sister (who appears in dream 3 again) at the side to 'do nothing that will make her leave again' sarcastically.

Dream 2: Recognition. His parents called for “both of you” to enter a private family room. I experienced this as recognition of us as a pair in the energy of the dream.

Dream 4: The question of support. The man was physically near me, with his mother also present, but he appeared neutral or possibly disapproving when I needed support with something important. His mother did not intervene but her energy wasnt supportive of me either as communicated by the dream. This contrasted with the earlier dreams of welcome and recognition.

Dream 5: Intimacy and continuity. I experienced a passionate, intimate connection with him. He seemed confident that I would come through for him. I briefly left to coordinate something in an adjoining room, then returned. A difficult family member (the other sister i had met in real life who was non-receptive and hostile) was present but did not interfere with our connection. The bond felt continuous rather than fragile. That sister, who had been overtly hostile and non receptive, the one I had met, was present outside both rooms as I neutrally communicated with her [the energy of the dream conveyed her implicit acknowledgement of 'us' in the energy of the dream like something she has no say over] or like a greeting as sge was outside the adjoining rooms before rejoining the man in the room we were at before i stepped out briefly)

Dream 6: Disclosure and withheld reassurance. In a modest family setting in my country of origin, other people appeared to guide us toward a conversation. He opened up at length about his needs, expectations, and how he wanted the relationship to work. He mentioned small personal preferences while acknowledging that I was comfortable being myself. He then said he liked me as I was. When I asked him to repeat this, he did not. We subsequently walked away together, with me holding his arm.

Two years ago, this exact time I made a big decision that changed my life. Im not really a believer in Jung and these cycles and stuff anymore. I`ve just found that I`n not alone, just lonely. I`m finally doing something I should`ve done all along

I feel great

I’m on a solo travel mission right now, first time out of my home country, and I’m struggling to enjoy any aspect of my travel except for the pursuit of pussy. (can I say that here?)

To preface, I got into Jung a few years ago in a kind of multi layered synchronistic way that ties into this too. I lost my mind over an old teenage crush, after a few tough years in my early adulthood and what was likely a prolonged depression, she became basically the only thing in the world that could evoke passion and motivation in me. I spent a weekend at a friend’s house who happened to live on her street, and started getting whiney and somber and talking to him about what the odds are that he’s one of the few people I talk to from our decently large hometown (population of over 150,000) and how she lives on his street. She didn’t go to our high school and I’d known her from working together which makes that slightly more notable. Anyways I just kind of complained to my friend about how she’s the only thing I really want in life for a little bit, and then we exited his house to go out and she was directly across the street on a walk with her mom. It was a pretty long street and she lived on the opposite end. I was too scared to say anything, especially with the terms we’d left on, but this triggered I guess an upward but illusory spiral that this was God’s way of telling me we were connected by something deeper and fated. Then I started researching synchronicity and really took to Jung’s thoughts on it, and then got into him a little deeper to quickly stumble on the anima concept, which I really didn’t want to understand and tried hard not to for a while because I didn’t want this rare spark of purpose to crumble.

Anyways I eventually took it serious and understood that this is exactly what’s going on with me, and could easily trace it back to my unreliable maternal relationship and how desperate it’d made me for maternal like nurture since I was little, which made sense of many things I did all throughout my childhood and teenage years and now into my adult life. Its such a strange complex because it really feels existentially cruel to deal with such a thing, but I can also see how a culture of men who superficially pedestalize women to degrees they can’t tangibly continue or live up to breeds generations of avoidant women and desperate men, and I think that’s a big part of the western social problem going on today, and I absolutely recognize myself to be a part of that.

I’ve taken Jungian work seriously, I’m certainly no expert on it and wouldn’t say I’m devoted in any sort of religious sense, but I feel I’ve come much further on a path to being my own individual and making sense of life in my own almost religious way. I truly believe that if you meet life with good intentions and work toward orienting yourself to things beyond ego or culture or collectivity, that God or whatever you want to call it will have a much easier and smoother time guiding you through what you need to see and experience to carry out whatever you individually need to do and learn in this life in pursuit of some larger balance that encompasses more than the human mind can fathom.

Through this, I believe, I got blessed with the means and funds to travel on my own for a few months to a year, depending on how wise I am with my money (I’ve been none too wise thus far). I don’t know what my intention necessarily is, I just felt an almost desperate pull to leave my country. I’m now realizing that it was that same void for feminine nurture. I’m in South America and I’m truly under a spell from the women here. They’re certainly much more naturally outgoing and dare I say feminine than most of the women I’ve ever known back home, but now I’m basically projecting my anima onto a continent, and feel that I could only possibly find what I seek in life in the women here. But in my lonely moments, which are many, I just feel numb to all the beauty and cool things I’m experiencing. I’m on the verge of cutting my trip short and going home to start a trade, as I feel motivation and hunger again which I’d been desperately lacking back home, and I know that I just want to do this so I can have the means of building and providing for a family, which I think is a pure intention, but I’m also wary of getting consumed by it.

I just want some human reflections on this from people who are into this sort of thing. Am I fucked up? Am I on the right track? I believe I’m on the right path and am being shown what I need both internally and externally but it does feel like this void is possessing me everywhere I go and in everything I do, and I don’t want to repeat the generational patterns I see in both the men and women of my bloodline, which typically goes like men over extending themselves to a point they shouldn’t and the women becoming jaded about all men when we continuously fall short of what we promise out of desperation to fill voids.

Hello all

Today I want to speak about something which has appeared in my life recently

It has recently dawned on me that the person in my life whom I have the most conflict with right now, a girl whom I've dated on-and-off, is quite a powerful manifestation of my Shadow

And, indeed, I am realizing that those whom appear in our lives and serve us the greatest conflicts, personality-wise, represent manifestations of our Shadows

It is BECAUSE they exhibit qualities which, in ourselves, are deeply repressed or hated, that we find ourselves in such strong conflict with them. It is as if they are trying to flow energy through us, and the energy we are the most restricted with, we cannot flow, and so we experience it as a huge conflict

For example:

The girl I'm talking about has extreme jealousy problems. Envy, jealousy. And it manifests, not only in the obvious ways, such as: being very jealous of other people, or my past, but also in subtler ways, more psychological ways:

Such as:

Being jealousy with her time

Let us say that she will talk to me, but then find herself wanting to suddenly leave the conversation, and feeling no problem abruptly leaving. It is as if she is jealous of "her" agency and time, and wants to control it, and not share it, and so this manifests in a sort of apparent selfishness, which is caused by the envious nature of her own agency and decision making process, and time

This also manifests in her talking to me. She loves talking to me, wants to talk to me, feels incredibly drawn to talking to me, but also finds this wanting extremely painful. Why? Because she is jealous over her self expression. She does not want to admit to me how she feels. She does not want to pour out her truth. She does not want to be super open and honest with me about what she is feeling. So she feels enormous tension about this:

1. Wanting extremely powerfully to talk to me

2. Feeling enormously jealousy and controlling over her status, over her words, over her self-expression

This huge tension creates enormous internal conflict within herself

She is also jealous of her time in the sense of not wanting to "spend" so much of it with me, talking to me, wanting to use it elsewhere. There is a bit of scarcity mentality there, as well, which is connected, in this case, to the jealousy aspect

More ways in which the jealousy and envy manifests, and then I'll also bring up another past ex who was VERY similar in certain ways, and also EXTREMELY jealous, perhaps far more so:

- Being very jealousy of one's perceptions. For example, flip-flopping rapidly between seeing someone as good, and then bad. I know this is called splitting in some circles, but I see it as a manifestation of extreme jealousy. Wanting to jealously fixate on only "one" perception, so tightly, that when the new perception pops up, the previous one is abandoned in favor of the new one, but knowing this is not accurate, and being jealous of the one just abandoned, and so rapidly flip flopping between trying to EXCLUSIVELY have only one perception of someone, rather than allowing them to all organically flourish and coexist as part of a living, breathing, ecosystem. The strangle-vines of jealous-envy-control-neurosis extends to even one's perceptions of others

Not to mention the perception of oneself.

Now, to talk about the other ex, whos name was Naomi. She was extremely jealous in the obvious ways: Jealous of someone she was romantically involved with talking to other people, jealous of people having more accomplishment than her, and so forth

The other girl I'm talking about, Prapti, is similar in that way. Extremely jealous romantically, but also EXTREMELY jealous about status and accomplishments.

Whats interesting about both of these young ladies is that they both were quite and are quite verbal and open about their jealousy, whereas I... am not

I am a far more "covert" person generally, when it comes to my flaws. I prefer to put on a strong front, and show people what I know or think is going to be the "winning" personality. I believe this is a very "heroic" stance. It's not just showing a front either. I also consider myself someone who genuinely abides in and drapes myself in heroic qualities and develops them consciously. Whereas you have people, called the "villains," in stories, who are very out loud, and open, and brash, about their negativity. For example,

I'll use Harry and Malfoy in this example, partially because of the recent advent of the female Malfoy meme, which kind of helped trigger this whole realization-stream for me.

Harry Potter is the heroic archetype. So he abides with heroic attributes, but his shadowy villany side is deeply repressed.

Whereas Malfow is the villain archetype. He abides with villanous attributes, and his function is to reveal to the hero what the hero's own flaws already are, but which the hero can't see by himself.

If you look at any great story, the villain will do this. They serve as an outward manifestation of the hero's internal conflicts, suppressed energies, and so forth, as a way to get the hero to confront what is suppressed.

People are like this, in life, as well.

Prapti and Naomi both take on the Villain roles, adopting, quite easily, the dark attributes, and showing them out loud.

I am much more likely to suppress many of those attributes, so when I see these attributes presented so loudly when it comes to these two women, it allows me to get up close and personal with what is within, but which I am not aware of in myself yet.

In this case: Jealousy, enviousness.

My jealousy and enviousness is certainly there. I certainly feel jealous and envious of my partner's exes and past experiences, as well as certain accomplishments, and so forth. The difference is that I am much more "controlled" about this, and will gladly play the "long game," craftily trying to amass status, without showing my jealousy. Or trying to gradually subvert the exes of my partner, while trying to "win" their affection and exclusive attention, and to get them to see me as their prized person. But I do this without displaying much jealousy on the surface. And yet, the outward function is operating from a jealous root. It is jealousy in action. Trying to control the person's perception of me, or my own status, as a way to manipulate the situation.

Harry Potter is the same. He is the "hero," so he actually succeeds, but his root driver is often a jealous and controlling nature, wanting to control, wanting to be the hero, wanting to win, wanting to amass status. I am not necessarily talking from what is relayed about his inner motivations or his personality, I am talking about what is at the root of his archetypal energy. If he is a real energy, and he is, in a sense, his jealousy energy is quite suppressed most of the time, but he takes action to try to enact the changes he wants in order to satisfy his jealousy, and succeeds, whereas Malfoy is open about his jealousy and envy, showing his disdain for "Mudbloods," for example, being jealous and envy-protective of his status, even trying to keep Harry Potter away from them initially. Malfoy also does not succeed. He acts as a representative of someone who lives out the hero's shadow consciously, without suppression. Harry's big conflicts with Malfoy come from the fact they are both quite jealous people.

A lot of Harry's story involves his integration of this energy. There is a reason that, although he is the hero, and the "good" guy, he shows an early affinity for snakes, being able to speak parsel tongue, and so forth: qualities that seem more affiliated with the obviously "evil" house of Slytherin, or at least, thats the way it's depicted.

Harry is thus shown to have this "Shadow" element of "Slytherin" inside of him. What color is Slytherin? Green. "Green with envy."

Hey Guys, I normally dont play video games AT ALL, but I'm trying new things to enjoy my time. Last weekend I downloaded a video game, and I went on a 2 day binge, playing past 4am. Today I decided i need to abstain for at least a day. And I feel good about that.

Today during an active imagination session, I addressed an accountability issue, to finish reading my book. But when i considered not playing video games until I finished the entire book... my Anima immediately manifested in her physical prime, and ENDEARINGLY whined like a angry 4year old... NNNOOOOOO!

Am i being too hard on her?
Or is this the way to vanquish her, and teach the Anima whose Daddy? (aka Integration)

thanks for reading

Hi all, I wrote an essay analyzing David Bowie’s persona transitions through a Jungian lens. Specifically, how the Thin White Duke acted as a expression of his Shadow, and how his final video serves as self-mastery and psychic integration. It goes into the occult a bit too. I wrote another one specifically on Jung and Bowie but i thought the symbolism in Lazarus of the amina etc was striking. I think Bowie could be the Archrtype of that age. Once finished this are there any other artists you think I could look into i find it fascinating. Age??https://substack.com/@notesfromtheedge3/note/c-243662284?r=25lzql

I need help. Can anyone help me think this through or provide me with any ideas strategies as to work with this?

I am suffering from a complex that has been controlling my life on and off since a major violation in March 2025.

What happened was a pattern where I first was betrayed and then invalidated by people I thought I could trust.

After ending a relationship with a narcissist he threatened me. I afterwards turned towards a mutual friend of mine for support and what happened was he simply relentlessly invalidated me and not only that but stripped me or reduced my existance or emotional turmoil into nothing. He acted like this defender of this narcissistic social structure. I felt abandoned and cast out. I couldn't believe what happened at first still can't. Then later I searched for help in therapy where I was met with the same ordeal where the therapist in question basically abused followed by secondary violation of disbelief and institutional betrayal. That happened in March 2025.

Since then I have never been the same. Time passes by I am losing more of my sanity. This experience housed severe fracture in my psyche where this events have been walled off from me by dissociation.. I can't get through and all I am feeling is somatic pain and my own anger turned towards me.

What I understand so far is that this a protector part of myself that is been abused and turned onto me through manipulation. This part of my psyche feels colonized and not my own anymore. This is reflected in dreams like massive catastrophic alient invasions.

I honestly don't know how long I can take this any longer. I have been stripped of my human dignity and I cant seem to recover.

To have a strong position in order to work with this I know I need a strong Ego position where I am able to seperate my self of self from this complex. However this is very hard to do. It almost feels like I am not alive anymore.. like I am a walking zombie that on occasions wakes of from this paralyzing trance.

I have so much anger that was suppressed from those events that turns into automatic violent murder ideas those people to pay for what they did. I feel raped, robbed and psychologically abused where part of my psyche is simply colonized by whatever those experience were.

This is not me and I don't recognize myself anymore. I really don't know what to do anymore. I did a lot of shadow work but this shit just keeps comming back over and over again. Everything I did or the idea that there was progress just dissappears. It is constantly the same thing over and over again. I am sick and tiered of it already.

How do I even work with something like this? With a part of my own psyche that has turned against.. I need clear Ego seperation from it but I feel I cannot create this sealed Ego boundary from it and it just intruded in my space.. I am losing myself in dispair over this. I want it gone..