today after my consultation for my failed third transfer, which ended up being a chemical pregnancy after a strong positive from day 5, i felt absolutely wrecked

that little bit of hope had me so high, then it all came crashing down. it honestly crushed me. i’m not usually someone who shows a lot of emotion, i usually keep it all in, but by the end of the appointment i couldn’t hold it together anymore. i started sobbing and kept asking, “do i still have hope?”

i couldn’t stop crying. my chest hurt, my throat hurt. when i looked up, i saw my husband getting teary too, and to my surprise even my RE was wiping his eyes with a tissue.

he told me, “you are one of my strongest and happiest patients. please don’t let this ruin your spirit. i promise you, it will work.”

i went home with a bag of antibiotics and cried so hard i actually burst a blood vessel in my eye

i’m feeling a little better now... i think. and i’m going to try again in may. please keep me in your prayers

My 4th nontested transfer, negative. Previous was a miscarriage. I just turned 41 and I’m losing hope.
I’ve had a tough life and the only thing I truly only want is to a mom with my husband, a healthy family.
I don’t feel loved by God. So many bad mothers out there, including mine, and I don’t get to be a mother.
I’m feeling, I don’t even know, there’s no meaning in life for me if I can’t be a mother. Please don’t suggest adoption or someone’s else’s egg, this is not a part of me not what’s truly in my heart.

Since the nosy assistant of my gyn asked, I told her some more details of my "journey" and got hit with my favourite bingo "I know these patients, they transferred because they were done, they had given up. And now they have two children!". Just to close with "the mental side is important". Guess Im just doing another thing wrong then, thanks. I regret having talked to her, I already hadnt liked her selfserving curiosity, way out of line. But that's not the point for now.

In fact I hear that bingo so often. Almost every time I confide in someone that Im doing IVF. Right behind "have you considered adoption?".

I know a couple that tell this story, too. When you dig deeper they say, they were not done, just very defeated and taking a break but they would have in fact tried again. So not really given up.

But since I'm very tired and defeated, my question is: is there something to it? Some magic release that makes my body make a child? If not: what are your favourite answers to that bingo?

I truly underestimated how clueless so many otherwise intelligent people are about human reproduction until I started this process. I told a dear friend I was starting IVF and he was super sweet about it which I totally appreciated… and then A WEEK later he texted me „Any luck yet? :)“ I hadn’t even started preparing my first egg retrieval!! Apparently some men think women just go to the doctor and get a pregnancy shot or something? Then another male friend asked me after I was 7 months into the process „So when do you know if it’s working?“ I‘m like, IVF isn’t an antidepressant, you don’t gradually start becoming more and more pregnant the longer you do it!

Anyway, can anyone relate? Or is it just me and my friend group? Honestly I appreciate their support, I just didn’t realize I would need to explain menstrual cycles to 40-year-old men!

(Added a humor tag because my own examples are lighthearted but I’m interested to hear any flavor of weird comments!)

Hi everyone, we had two PGT-tested embryos. The first one didn’t implant, so our clinic changed the protocol and added an immune protocol for our second transfer, which thankfully implanted.
Our beta numbers were rising:
12dp5dt: 266

14dp5dt: 466

16dp5dt: 950

We went in for our first ultrasound at 7 weeks, and they couldn’t find a heartbeat. We are absolutely devastated.
Has anyone experienced something similar and gone on to have success afterward? This was our last embryo, and we’re heartbroken. 💔

Yesterday we found out that our transfer was unsuccessful. This is our third round of IVF. Our first round was successful and I am forever grateful for that as we have a beautiful 2 year old son. I just don't understand how the last 2 transfers were unsuccessful. The doctor said we were in perfect health, everything was great and the odds were on our side, even greater since our first round was a success. Now I'm sitting here, defeated, devastated and lost as that was our last "normal" embryo and our last chance at adding to our family. I guess it's just hard for me to grasp that we're officially done, and watching her throw away her medication schedule and tell me "I guess we can sell our baby stuff now" really killed me. Going to be hard but I need to accept it. End rant.

Hi fam,

I’m 30F, history of deep infiltrating endometriosis (excised on ovaries, rectovaginal space, and bowel resection), adenomyosis, DOR, and endometritis. Two years ago my AMH was 0.79.

In 2025, we did three rounds of IVF and created 6 embryos. They were not genetically tested as I am too young. Downregulation for two months before first transfer. First transfer ended in chemical pregnancy. Got back onto birth control for three months.

After FET, my husband and I decided to switch clinics and try to bank more embryos. We began this cycle and my hormone blood tests were concerning: FSH - 92, estrogen below 37, progesterone 0,6 and LH 26 on day 2 of my period. First antral follicle scans showed 4-5 follicles. Went ahead and started. Second scan showed 3 follicles on day four - 11 mm, 10mm, 5mm. Gynecologist concerned about POI.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Does it seem too late for us to create more embryos?

So we did our first ivf cycle in March this year and thankfully managed to get 8 embryos frozen. They had collected 31 eggs in total (yes I was unable to breathe or move properly for the week of egg retrieval iykyk hahaha).
My OBGYN told me a fresh transfer would not be possible as i had developed OHSS. Luckily, it was a mild case. I was devastated that I couldn’t do a fresh transfer but it is what it is.
My period didn’t come for 4 months and then eventually came when we went away on holiday so couldn’t do a transfer. Then in September it came again and we finally had an FET set in place. Everything was fine till my last bloodwork showed my estradiol levels were too low. FET was cancelled.
Then i had to take the pill to induce my period and do the whole process again. They amped up my Letrazole and now my follicles have grown too fast and my estradiol levels are still showing up low. fEt cancelled again.
My doc has now diagnosed me with PMOS(PCOS) which he hadn’t previously mentioned- only saying i had unexplained fertility problems.
Im sure you can tell by the effort im using to explain myself, i am exhausted.
I try so hard not to get my hopes up, and yet still so devastated both times he has cancelled. My partner gets it but has no idea how to help me. I feel like im grieving something that doesnt exist.

Why is the FET section of this process so much harder than the stims and egg collection and is it supposed to be?

So my question is- do you guys think i need to get a second opinion to see if my doc is doing everything he can?
Hes a busy man often fully booked and very highly rated, however I can’t help but think that if you have that many patients that some things might slip through the cracks.
I should also probably explain that to the outside world i am an extremely positive smiley generally happy person- so when i walk into his office 9/10 times im laughing, smiling or cracking jokes trying to keep the mood light. Im not sure if he may take this as a sign that I don’t care as much? I dont know!

I just really feel so stuck, like my life is on hold, that I should be doing more to move things along better, to give this the best chance i can.

Is there anything you guys would recommend doing?

I hope this makes sense 😩

Hey y'all, very new here and just getting started on our IVF journey. We live in the Boston area and are contemplating specialists and clinics. We get 2 initial consults with our Progyny coverage and we're considering using both to see who we like better before making a final decision. I've been leaning towards seeing Dr. Ryniec or Zimon at CCRM, Dr. berger at everleap, or Dr. Plante at FCNE and was hoping y'all could let me know how you feel about the clinic you use, your specialist and what brought you to them. For background, were 30f &37m with no known fertility issues, I do have Huntington's disease so we are specifically looking for the best lab and specialist for PGT-M. TIA!

For Twin Cities, MN pick up only. All medications are unopened.

I have 3 gonal-f pens (900 units total, includes needles, boxes unopened)

3 cetrotide kits

2 vials of 75u of menopur (and the q caps/syringes to go with it)

Would love to gift this so someone who is paying out of pocket!

Hi everyone! Well, after becoming incredibly frustrated with AI platforms (which kept insisting that the most likely outcome was that I would never get pregnant again), I found something here, in all your stories, that I had been needing for a long time: validation.

I started trying to conceive in 2019 and began seeking help after a year. I had a very low AMH, along with thrombophilia issues, diffuse endometriosis, and what appears to be possible uterine contractility issues. In total, I went through 4 IVF cycles and 4 frozen embryo transfers before we realised we would need to switch to donor eggs. The first attempt failed, and the second resulted in my daughter, who is now two and a half.

We’re now trying for a second child. The first transfer was far from optimal. I had only very recently stopped breastfeeding, my BMI was extremely low, and our nights were still chaotic. My beta was 2.1 and already declining. We then had corrective hysteroscopy.

Since then, we’ve had two more treatment cycles, both resulting in beta hCG levels below 1. We currently have 3 embryos left, and we’re about to move forward with a natural-cycle transfer, using Lovenox, corticosteroids, atosiban, and progesterone. We’re throwing everything we have at this.

But the truth is that, even though they’ve found a few things along the way, nothing really explains the repeated failures. My endometrium has a good thickness and a trilaminar pattern, and I’m still menstruating regularly. In my mind, donor egg treatment worked so easily the first time around, and it’s absolutely killing me to feel like I’m back in that place where nothing ever seems to work, without knowing where to turn next.

I’m coming here looking for stories from women who have been through the same thing and who have eventually made it to the other side. We’re at a point where we still believe it will eventually happen, but finding ourselves on the wrong side of the statistics with donor eggs has been incredibly difficult...

Does anyone have more stories to share from people who have been through something similar, or are going through the same thing? ❤️

Hey all!!

Anyone been in a similar situation, when I was 26 I had tubal ligation. I was in an extremely abusive relationship with one child and felt like it was my only option to not have another. Flash forward 10 years and I am happily married to a man with no children. We want to have a baby or two but I am so nervous of IVF process. Anyone been in a similar situation and would like to share their story? Thank you in advance.

Hey, I need an honest outside perspective. Am I overreacting, or was this genuinely insensitive?

I have a friend (who has a history of crossing boundaries) who has previously tried to compete with my husband and me financially, pried into our personal business, and canceled plans at the last minute countless times. My husband is pretty much done with this friendship, but I’ve continued trying to maintain it.

We were pregnant around the same time. She was expecting her second child, while my husband and I were finally expecting our IVF miracle after FOUR years of infertility, three failed IUIs, and a failed embryo transfer. As many of you know, infertility is an incredibly difficult journey, and I’m beyond grateful for our daughter.

Recently, she reached out after we hadn’t spoken in a while. We caught up, exchanged pictures of our kids, and talked about motherhood, postpartum health, and our cycles, as we’ve done before.

I mentioned that I’m almost 11 months postpartum and still haven’t gotten my period back because I’m breastfeeding. This is a particularly sensitive subject for me because we’re hoping to have another child, and I need to wean before moving forward with our next embryo transfer. Our fertility journey is still complicated, with treatment protocols and insurance approvals to navigate.

Her response? She told me that one friend got her period back four months postpartum and another got hers back just six weeks postpartum and even thought she was pregnant again.

I was already a little taken aback by those comparisons, but I responded politely, explaining that my OB-GYN said breastfeeding can delay the return of my period and that our journey hasn’t been easy.

Immediately after that message, she replied, “Guess what?” and sent me a picture of a pink onesie announcing that they’re expecting a baby girl.

Am I wrong for finding the timing incredibly insensitive? I'm not saying people shouldn't share their pregnancy announcements with me. I'm genuinely happy for others, and I know how fortunate I am to have my daughter. But after I had just opened up about a sensitive part of our ongoing fertility journey, the immediate announcement felt completely tone-deaf.

And considering the history of this friendship, I feel like this was the final straw. I'm ready to end the friendship altogether.

Am I being too sensitive, or would you also find this upsetting? I genuinely want an outside perspective.

https://www.evvy.com

My ND is suggesting it, but we would delay transfer to do it. I don’t have any symptoms or known issues, but she says that a specific biome is needed for implantation and carrying to term. I’m debating if it’s worth the delay.

We are doing ICSI here at DHC IVF, and we know embryo genetic testing is available. Should we go ahead and do it now? Our doctor recommended it, but we are also trying to save on costs.

I am very young to be doing IVF so I’m not sure if that is part of why I feel so lonely in this process. I have had people say congratulations when I tell them I’m doing IVF and I feel so unseen. This is not exciting, this is exhausting and depressing. I have also had people compare it to having their period or starting a new medication.

I know they’re just trying to empathize but it makes me feel like they just don’t get it. People also expect me to show up how I normally would, but I feel like I have nothing to give and am always coming up short. I am exhausted, anxious, and over this and I feel so so alone.

Does anyone else feel like this?

Hi all, we started our process with dr schell at the advanced fertility clinic of Chicago in downers grove. She seems great but the support staff are all really disorganized and struggle with communication/planning. After 3 long months we have finished all testing just to prepare to freeze embryos. Due to the aforementioned disorganization it was very difficult to get this completed timely.

I won’t continue to complain, but I’m still pulling teeth to get my treatment plan and I’d like to get this show on the road and have trust issues now that they won’t mess something up once things are important

Does anyone have any recommendations in the western suburbs of Chicago? Ideally in the downers grove area but I work in Fulton market so can make downtown work too. We just want to freeze embryos for use later if needed.

Dear all,

To keep it short, I’ve had 5ERs with zero blasts. We’ve been advised to consider whole exome sequencing (WES) because there might be a genetic issue, and we apparently fall into the OZEMA group. We haven’t done the test yet, and we have genetic counselling scheduled for next month. In the meantime, I had a follow-up appointment at my previous clinic in my home country. My doctor explained that, even with a normal spermiogram and only 4% DNA fragmentation, sperm could still be a contributing factor.

She suggested doing a cycle with donor sperm, either using donor sperm for all the eggs or splitting them 50/50 between my partner’s sperm and donor sperm. Her reasoning was that perhaps we’re simply not genetically compatible for having children together, while fertilization with another person’s sperm might lead to better embryo development. She says if I go straight for egg donation I will never know.

Has anyone here tried this approach after repeated embryo arrest? Did it make any difference? Should I try it?

Thank you!

I had my 6th egg retrieval yesterday. I knew we were going into it with not many follicles and we hoped to retrieve 4 eggs.

When I woke up, I was told they collected 2 eggs and that they couldn’t access my right ovary at all. They said my bowel was in the way and it was behind blood vessels that made it too risky. Has anyone had this before? And had answers as to why?

In 5 previous retrievals I have never had this happen. I was on a 24 hour fast so I’m unsure why my bowel would have expanded and been in the way.

I’m annoyed because 4 eggs was already low, to then only get 2 is frustrating. Every cycle seems to come with its own challenges… low AMH, no mature eggs, no eggs fertilised, all embryos arrested, now this. It never bloody ends.

Holding onto hope for those 2 little eggies ♥️

We have been trying for more than a year. I had chemical pregnancy in Jan and an ectopic in right fallopian tube that was treated with mtx in april 2024. So we thought after all this time, let’s atleast go and get educated on what other possibilities are there to conceive.
When we met her, she right off the bat goes like, “you had an ectopic means there’s something majorly wrong”. She wasn’t even interested in knowing that my HSG showed both tubes open after ectopic. She just deemed that the right tube is definitely useless and the left is also to be considered the same. Hence, forget everything and just do ivf because any other pregnancies are also going to result in ectopic according to her. Now she has really tried to scare us. There were other things too that really put us off of her. We aren’t going to her for sure.
But i wanted to ask everyone’s advice if this is true? Like she made me feel like it’s dead end and only option is ivf. Ivf being the option is not the problem, it’s the way she said it that something is wrong and i can never have hope. Like my body is bad.
Idk if this is what all you guys have heard from your RE’s too?

I was originally scheduled to start stimulation for my November round with a tentative start date of 11/17. However, my period started today (10/27). When I informed the clinic, the nurse told me I can actually start my IVF treatment on Day 3 (10/29), which they are considering my "November" cycle and I already have all meds in hand.

I don't have an issue with starting early, but after hanging up, I realized my husband won't be back in town until 11/9!

Now I am freaking out that if I am a fast responder, my stimulation could be as short as 8 to 10 days, meaning my egg retrieval would fall right before he arrives.

I would love to know how likely this is. What is the typical range for stimulation? Did anyone here only stim + trigger shot for 8 to 10 days, or do most of you go the full 12 to 14 days?

For context:
36yo
AFC: 8 (4/each side)
Normal BMI
FSH: 6.07; AMH: 1.83; LH: 4.36; E2: 109; Prolactin: 20.7

Here is my protocol:

1. Priming: Estrogen patches (started in late luteal phase, 5 patches total; 9 days after the first apply)
2. Starting Day 1 of Stims: Follistim 450 IU
3. Mid-Cycle Addition: Menopur 75 IU + Antagonist (Cetrotide/Ganirelix)
4. Trigger: HCG and/or Lupron

Does anyone have any evidence-based data on how stress impacts egg development, implantation, misscarriage and pregnancy?

I am, to put it mildly, extremely stressed as a person in general, and have a very demanding job that is high risk and requires me to be there 7 days a week. Plus now the whole IVF process is making it 100x worse. And to top it all off I am stressed that I am stressing too much.

Help 😭

I have 8 unopened vials of Menopur and 2 unopened boxes of Follistim (900 IU). Located in South Jersey outside Philadelphia. DM to coordinate pickup.

Edit: CLAIMED

My wife and I went through IVF in SoCal. We were told everything looked fine after genetic screening and proceeded with a PGT-A tested embryo.

Unfortunately, at 16 weeks, we discovered severe fetal abnormalities and ultimately had to terminate the pregnancy.

Afterward, I found out our genetic screening had flagged carrier results, including one linked to skeletal and heart abnormalities. The clinic never informed us or discussed genetic counseling. THEY LITERALLY SAID EVERYTHING LOOKED FINE!

We don't know if these findings were related to the pregnancy loss, but we're devastated and frustrated that we weren't informed.

Has anyone experienced something similar? Should we consult a malpractice attorney, request our medical records, or get an independent genetic evaluation first?

We're honestly lost and would appreciate any advice on what to do next.

Hi all, my husband and I are about to go through our first-ever round of IVF through Shady Grove Fertility in Colorado. I’ll be honest - I feel completely in the dark about so much of this process because everything I’ve learned has been through videos they are sending through a portal vs a human explaining it to me. I received my treatment calendar today and am getting multiple texts from Walgreens and my specialty pharmacy about prescriptions being filled, and I’m drowning in information overload without any human instruction on what I am supposed to be doing and when, other than words on a calendar and video links (and yes, I left a message for the nurse to call me).

Is this normal? I found myself suddenly hyperventilating on the couch as I was reading everything because I feel like I’m 100% driving blind.