For me, it was realising that other people had different standards and expectations when it came to relationships.

For example, it would take a lot for me to end a friendship, such as a serious betrayal of trust.

Over the years, I've lost quite a few friends. One valued punctuality, whereas I've always struggled with time management due to mental health difficulties. They eventually ended the friendship. At the time, I was genuinely shocked that this could be a reason to end a friendship, especially one that had lasted many years.

Another friend stopped speaking to me after I set a boundary around lending money.

What surprised me was how readily some people seemed able to walk away from friendships when their expectations weren't being met. They seemed to have a much clearer idea of what they wanted from relationships and what they weren't prepared to tolerate.

Meanwhile, I was brought up to be accommodating and understanding of other people's difficulties. I think I carried that mentality into my friendships.

Looking back, there were people who treated me badly whom I never walked away from, even when I probably should have. Instead, I'd try to understand why they behaved the way they did and make allowances for them.

I suppose I expected the same understanding and grace in return when I wasn't perfect myself.

I'm beginning to wonder whether growing up as a glass child taught me to prioritise understanding other people's behaviour over recognising my own limits. I never really knew what my own limits were?

I can think of plenty of other examples, but I'm curious whether anyone else experienced something similar.

What surprised you about other people's expectations or boundaries when you entered the wider world, particularly if you were brought up to behave very differently at home?

I'm the eldest. I have ADHD, but was late diagnosed. I did have issues as a teenager, because I was late diagnosed and ignored for so long that things got so bad I had to act out in a big way.

My youngest brother is the favourite. He was meant to be the sports star. My mum was a single parent, and always stressed how she had to be there for him because all the dads were there for their kids. So she'd spend all morning on a freezing sports pitch watching him.

My sister is autistic. She needed extra help in school, but was manageable at home. I don't resent my sister in any way, because it's not her fault. But she got extra attention. I

As the eldest, I was both parentified and the glass child. I did horse riding, but my mother would complain that it was too cold and wet for her to watch me (after she'd spent all morning doing the same to my brother for double the time). I wasn't able to do sports because I had no way of getting there. Then when my sister was bullied, I had to hear her rant about it. I had to act as an adult when she would complain about this and that.

It became a thing, that 'what OP wants, OP always gets' and that I would kick off if I didn't. Except, that's not what happened. What happened is I would get upset when I wasn't listened too, or when I wanted something and was told no whilst I watched my siblings get things. My brother had hundreds, if not thousands poured into his sports career. I had to email and beg my father to buy me a new coat for horse riding.

And I know, horse riding is an expensive sport. I even got my own horse, because when my grandfather died my absentee father felt guilty and agreed to buy a horse for me and to pay for him because I presented it to him like a business deal. And anything my father wouldn't cover for my horse, I had to pay for myself. Even when I barely saw my horse, because my siblings came first and my mother was too busy to take me to see him. Except for when she also had a riding lesson, and she of course could only ride my horse. It took moving him to another stables closer to where I lived for me to really get to enjoy spending time with him. Even then, I would compete and my mother rarely came to watch. The few times she did, I was criticised for not being good enough. But she still would go and stand on a sports pitch, and complain when my brother wasn't selected for whatever sporting event she thought. I would walk to see and care for my horse every day, no matter the weather. It was miserable, but it was some escapism.

My brother was awful too. He would steal and eat my food that I paid for, and then I would be the one who was punished and called unreasonable for being angry about it. My feelings were always dismissed. I don't have a relationship with my brother. He was abusive towards me, and I had to just accept it because if I tried to stand up to him, I was the one who was causing trouble. My sister also didn't have it easy from my brother, but she also got more support at home. Me being the one who found my own way to do things became 'she always finds a way to get what she wants so I don't need to bother to help her'.

I now am stuck. I can't get a job, despite trying. I have two degrees, and no one will hire me. I don't have any skills with building actual friendships and communities and networking because I never developed them. I always had to just lock myself away from my family, for my sanity. I had no help and support with careers, with how to meet people. At university, I had to work so I couldn't attend events.

I can't point out to my mother how she ignored me, and how using the idea of I make things happen for myself is a cop out. It's shaped my whole life and ruined it. I can't market myself, I'm used to being flexible and easily ignored and temporary for so many people because I'm used to only being treated well when I'm needed for something and otherwise my thoughts and feelings don't matter. If I try and point it out, I'm called a bully and selfish because I've had more financial support than my siblings. Well, yes I have. I know that. But also, I didn't get any disability allowance from the government and my father supported my sister a lot more than me. My brother didn't go to university and has worked all of his life.

I moved away, I moved abroad to escape this. I'm being forced back and treated like the glass child again without my sister even being here. My belongings I had to leave when I moved and were told would be kept safe have been thrown out or ruined. I did have a bedroom in my mums house, but she boxed my things up and gave that room to my brother who was meant to have moved out. Then again, I was the inconvenience and my things had to be thrown out. I now can't find half of my clothes as she donated them after for an unknown reason sorting through them after I made it clear what was to be posted to me. I just have the things I told to donate left now. Many of my things are broken or have gone mouldy, and I'm called selfish for being angry that I'm going to be the one who replaces them when I can't afford too and being angry that again I wasn't listened too and was expected to be okay with my belongings being ruined.

It's always when I stand up for myself and say actually this isn't okay that I'm met with anger. It's why I left, because I can't live with this expectation that I'm the one who copes. I am not coping. I am homeless and have no income. I cannot stay in a country that's no longer my home because it was never made to feel like home, I was made to feel like an inconvenience for not being a stay at home babysitter and for reminding that I existed.

When does this end? All the things I wanted for my own place are now ruined, broken or lost. I don't have nice clothes for winter. I don't have my own place. I can't build the audience I need, or sell myself, because I am so used to being ignored and expected to just quietly get on with things. I've done therapy, until I couldn't afford it. I can't engage with therapy because I am so deeply conditioned into being passive and agreeable to keep the peace that I can't get into things properly, I can't get outwardly angry. It gets better at some point, it has too, right? I just want to go home, and to the place that really feels like home, even if it means living on the streets. More than that, I just want someone to see me for once. To remember me. To not treat the reminders that I exist as an inconvenience.

Fin.

Family Separation, Autism Style — National Council on Severe Autism

I found this article and I'd like to know what everyone thinks about this. The family has four children, and the oldest has autism. He's low functioning and aggressive. The three normal children are sent to a boarding school while the autistic one gets to stay at home.

Hi, my name is Serenity Gronemeyer, and I am an undergraduate researcher at Maryville University. I am looking for participants for a research study exploring how growing up in a caregiving role for a sibling with a mental health disorder influences adult attachment styles and romantic relationship satisfaction.  

If you have grown up with a sibling with a mental health disorder, been in a relationship, are 18 years or older, and choose to participate, you will be directed to an informed consent form and asked to complete an anonymous online survey that takes approximately 10 to 15 minutes. Your participation is completely voluntary, and no identifying information will be collected.  

If you are eligible and are interested in participating, please click the Qualtrics survey link: https://maryville.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_3KjJqe2hfoav8HQ 

If you have any questions about the survey, or problems arise, you may contact the researcher, Serenity Gronemeyer, at [sgronemeyer1@live.maryville.edu](mailto:sgronemeyer1@live.maryville.edu), or the supervising faculty member, Dr. Chammie Austin, at 314-529-9459.

My entire life my older sister has had every bit of attention. I know she cant help it. I know her episodes are terrible, and I feel horrible saying I wish she wasnt around. But sometimes I think my life would be a little easier if she wasnt. I love my sister, I truly do, but everytime I'm around my parents all they do is talk about my sister. Like hello? I might in high school but I still wanna talk about my life. I wanna talk about my girlfriend, talk about my friends, talk about my classes, talk about how I feel, but every time I do, its always something when my sister.

My mom works graveyard, I only see her in the morning, my day works till 4 and doesnt come home till 6. And goes to work at 6 in the morning. It feels like they just switch parenting. And I can never truly talk to them about my life. I want to share things, but I dont even know if I can trust them since I've never been able to tell them anything too personal. I dont wont them to worry, but I also wanna talk about my life.

Sometimes I feel like I can only really talk to my girlfriend and shes lives in a different timezone. I really really just want to talk about things with my parents, but everytime I do, I think I'll take the attention away from my sister. And I want her happiness more than mine, so I will stay silent, even if it kills me, so that one day, I might just see a smile on her face or love in her eyes when she thinks of me.

Posting anonymously because this is incredibly personal, and I honestly don’t know where else to turn. I just need to get this off my chest, and I’m hoping that maybe someone here can relate.

I’m a 26-year-old woman with two autistic brothers. My fraternal twin brother has severe autism and significant support needs, and my younger brother, who is 24, is considered high-functioning.

Growing up in my household was incredibly difficult, and looking back, I think it was much more traumatic than I allowed myself to acknowledge for a very long time.

My twin brother was extremely loud, disruptive, and at times physically aggressive. Our household often felt chaotic and unpredictable. So much of my parents’ time, energy, and attention went toward meeting my brothers’ needs that I often felt invisible. I learned early on that my feelings and struggles came second, and that I was somehow supposed to be the one who was okay.

My parents also struggled with their own mental health issues. I know they loved me, and I know they were doing the best they could in many ways, but that doesn’t change the fact that I often felt emotionally neglected. They were loving and caring in some respects, but in others, they weren’t there for me in the ways I desperately needed. There were also times when I was treated in ways that were genuinely hurtful.

It’s difficult to explain what it’s like to grow up knowing your parents love you while simultaneously feeling like your emotional needs don’t matter.

As I got older, I began developing significant mental health struggles of my own. It started with OCD and anxiety, but eventually progressed into severe depression and symptoms that I can only describe as trauma-related.

I’ve spent most of my life feeling like I don’t belong anywhere. I’ve always struggled to make and maintain friendships. I’ve never really felt understood, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve struggled with an overwhelming sense of self-hatred.

I attempted college, but my mental health deteriorated to the point that I had a breakdown and was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. Eventually, I began to recover, and I decided to pursue nursing because I wanted to help people the way others had helped me during some of my darkest moments.

I became a registered nurse and eventually went into psychiatric nursing. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had a purpose. I could take some of the pain I had experienced and use it to help other people who were suffering. I genuinely loved that aspect of my job, even though the work itself could be incredibly challenging.

For a few years, that sense of purpose helped keep me going.

But eventually, everything I had spent years trying to push down started resurfacing.

My depression became debilitating. My anxiety began interfering with nearly every aspect of my life, including my ability to function at work. I stopped enjoying things. I continued to struggle socially and felt painfully alone. My self-esteem was practically nonexistent.

I also carried an enormous amount of guilt about my family. As irrational as I knew it was, I somehow blamed myself for my twin brother’s autism and for all the pain and difficulties my family had experienced because of it.

I hated myself. I hated how anxious I was. I hated that I couldn’t seem to function the way everyone else did. And more than anything, I hated that I couldn’t seem to escape the effects of my childhood.

I continued going to work, but I was clearly struggling. Some of my coworkers noticed how anxious and overwhelmed I seemed. Over time, I became close with three coworkers, one of whom eventually left to work somewhere else.

Recently, my mental health reached an extremely dangerous point.

I became severely suicidal. I wasn’t just passively wishing I could disappear anymore. I was actively thinking about ways to end my life, and looking back, I genuinely don’t know what would have happened if someone hadn’t intervened.

Out of desperation, I reached out to the former coworker I had become close with. She invited me to her house, where we talked about what was happening. She encouraged me to go to the hospital, but I refused. I was terrified of being hospitalized again, and I don’t think I fully understood just how serious things had become.

She ultimately let me leave, but she was concerned enough that she contacted the other two coworkers I was close with and asked them to keep an eye on me.

They did.

When my condition continued to deteriorate, all three of them came together and intervened. After one of my shifts, they insisted that I go to the emergency room for a psychiatric evaluation.

I reluctantly agreed.

At the ER, I was told that I needed inpatient psychiatric treatment and that if I didn’t agree to be admitted voluntarily, I would be hospitalized involuntarily.

I agreed to go.

I spent approximately a month in the psychiatric hospital before being discharged to a partial hospitalization program. Unfortunately, I was still struggling with significant suicidal thoughts, and the program sent me right back to the hospital.

My second admission was even more difficult than the first. I don’t feel comfortable sharing everything that happened during that hospitalization, but I was in an incredibly dark and frightening place mentally.

Thankfully, the treatment I received eventually began to help. After a little over another month in the hospital, I was discharged.

I’m now about two weeks out from my most recent hospitalization.

And while I’m doing better, and I’m genuinely grateful that I received the help I needed, I’m struggling with a lot of complicated emotions.

I’m embarrassed. I’m ashamed. I’m frustrated. I’m grieving.

My coworkers still check in on me, and they’ve promised to keep everything confidential. I’m incredibly grateful for them, and I know they may very well have saved my life. I’m currently on leave from work while I continue recovering.

But I can’t stop thinking about how I got here.

I feel like I’ve spent my entire life fighting just to feel okay.

I’m exhausted from being anxious. I’m exhausted from being depressed. I’m exhausted from hating myself and feeling like I’m fundamentally different from everyone around me.

And if I’m being completely honest, I’m angry.

I’m angry that my childhood was so difficult. I’m angry that I didn’t get to experience the kind of family life that so many other people seem to take for granted. I’m angry that so much of my life has been shaped by circumstances I had absolutely no control over.

Sometimes I wish I had grown up in a “normal” family, whatever that even means.

And this is the part that makes me feel especially guilty to admit:

Sometimes I wish my twin brother wasn’t severely autistic.

I love my brother. I really, truly do. I would do anything for him, and I know none of this is his fault. He didn’t choose to have autism any more than I chose to grow up in the circumstances I did.

But sometimes I can’t help wondering what our lives would have looked like if things had been different.

Would my childhood have been happier? Would my parents have been more emotionally available? Would I have grown up feeling more secure, more loved, more confident? Would I still struggle so profoundly with my mental health?

I know there’s no way to answer those questions, and I know wishing things had been different doesn’t change anything.

But I still grieve the life I never got to have.

And then I feel guilty for grieving it, because I know my brothers have their own struggles, and I know my parents have suffered too.

It’s this endless cycle of sadness, anger, resentment, guilt, and shame.

I wish I could relate to people my age. I wish I had a close group of friends, or even a single friend at all. I wish I knew what it felt like to be genuinely happy and comfortable with myself. I wish I didn’t have to work so hard just to get through everyday life.

I wish I could stop feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with me.

Most of all, I wish I didn’t feel so incredibly alone.

I know this post is long, and I apologize for that. I don’t even know exactly what I’m hoping to get out of sharing all of this. Maybe I just need someone to hear me. Maybe I need to know that I’m not the only person who grew up with a special needs sibling and came out of that experience carrying a tremendous amount of emotional pain.

I feel like the experiences of siblings are so often overlooked. We’re expected to be understanding, patient, independent, and resilient. We’re expected to recognize how difficult things are for our parents and our disabled siblings. And of course we do.

But sometimes I wonder, who was looking out for us? Who was making sure we were okay?

I love my family, but I am also deeply hurt by my experiences growing up. I’m trying to figure out how to hold both of those truths at the same time.

If anyone here has experienced similar feelings, especially the guilt, resentment, loneliness, or lasting mental health struggles, I would really appreciate hearing from you.

I don’t necessarily need advice or solutions. I think I just need to feel understood for once.

Thank you so much to anyone who took the time to read this. It means more than you know. ❤️

My adult sister is a hypochondriac with trauma and severely untreated OCD. She hasn't worked in five years and my parents moved to her home because they were paying for her entire life (including food, rent, credit card, everything). My mom is borderline and has gotten better and worse with age. She used to have bad rage issues that I can mediate but now that my sister has rage issues, the two fight all the time and both feel legitimate that their rage is justified. In some parts, it is, but my sister will scream at the top of her lungs and threaten herself and bang her head into the door and has done property damage. The dogs are terrified, my mom gets triggered and starts yelling nasty things in retaliation, and I'm the one who has to put it out. I worry about everyone's safety and always have felt it will end really, really badly. I have OCD as well and don't want to manifest what I'm saying, but nobody is safe in these instances.

I don't live with them. But I woke up 35 texts from each parent and my sister and it's bad. I have work tomorrow (I'm a teacher) and I can't take off. I just don't know how to keep going about my own business when the messages I've received would push anybody to take a three month family leave. I'm holding onto my life so hard that anybody else would think it's perfect. I can even compartmentalize so well that I feel avoidant.

How do you keep managing your own life when the worst is already happening at home? I have to lesson plan for tomorrow, clean up the shared spaces in my apt (I just got a big piece of furniture delivered), and just do basic things like shower, put out the trash, get caught up on grading, etc. Anybody else would take off but this isn't even the worst it's been and I still have so much in my own life that I need to upkeep.

I'm looking after my sister while my parents are away (this is day 3 of 4). My sister has down syndrome and probably autism (as I'm audhd) but I'm also physically disabled too, I inherited my mothers arthritis (at 17 years old, now 28).

My parents asked me a while ago to have my sister and of course I said yes thinking she could stay at mine and I'd be comfortable there. For a few reasons I've had to stay at their house, where I no longer have my own bedroom or safe space.

I'm struggling to stick to her routines, I didn't realise how demanding and lazy she would be with me here. My parents have always let her get away with stuff, I spent most of my childhood having to parent them and my sister. I was the one who only really understood her, literally and figuratively.

Anyway, my parents booked themselves a trip away to a fancy hotel. All weekend my mum has messaged me with what a lovely time they are having and photos of their hotel, the food and drinks they have been having. And each message starts with asking how my sister is.

Not one message asking how I am, if I'm managing ok, how I'm feeling.

I'm just so sad, I've been physically disabled 11 years and only diagnosed with ADHD and autism in the past year, so they missed that my whole childhood. And they've never discussed this with my sister, growing up all health issues weren't to be talked about.

No doubt tomorrow when my parents are back, I'll have to hear all about the lovely time they've had and everything they got up to.

Sometimes I wish I had a normal sister and childhood.

If you want to stop the general public from shoving siblings into roles that we don’t want to be in and voice your opinion, here’s your chance.

For context, every now and then my mother decides I'm the spawn of Satan for leaving a shirt on the floor for a few seconds to pick up something else. It's been happening for over a year, and in the last few weeks, two of them turned into full-blown scandals in which I've had to literally leave the house and spend the night at a friend's. I think the second time was last week. My friend came over, and this guy's pretty much the only person I know that cleans to relax. We all know that, he's been randomly organizing our apartment for a long time, we just let him do his thing and relax. He started vacuuming while I was cooking something. My mother came in livid, asking me why am I not the one to vacuum? I tried to explain to her that I was cooking, and genuinely didn't even know he was going to vacuum, but she left the kitchen talking into her phone about how "poor me never knows anything". A few minutes later I heard her quite literally corner my friend, asking him if he's ever seen me doing anything, refusing to let him talk because he's "taking my side" and I felt so awful that I just needed to get out. I shut off the stove, went to my room to put my pants on and she followed me, basically narrating everything I was doing and even grabbed my arm to stop me from leaving and continued to yell at me. And for the first time I think ever, I snapped at her. I screamed at her, asking her about who needs to go to the store every single time my sister wants something to eat that we don't have in the house? Who has to sit out in the cold, waiting for a fast food order for her? Who makes her food, changes her sheets, cleans her because someone never bothered to teach her how to shower on her own?

I pushed past her and got my shoes on and left. My friend literally ran out to search for me, in tears because he thought I was gonna do something to myself. After he found me and we talked and established I'd spend the night at his place, I noticed my sister had sent me a voice message. And I realized she heard everything. And she was crying, feeling guilty for making me take care of her. I have never, ever felt so awful and guilty. The scandal passed. And she still apologizes evey time she asks me to give her something or help her with something.

I know the first thing that goes through anybody's mind is to trash my mother for being an awful parent, but I need you to understand that she is broken. She's not always like this, and most of the time, she's the best mother I could ever ask for. She's in deep burnout, and I know it does not excuse her behavior, but it explains it. Tomorrow morning we both have an appointment with a psychiatrist to start trying to fix everything and understand each other.

I just cannot get past the fact that I screamed and essentially complained about having to take care of my sister while she was in the room. I can't get past hearing her cry because she thinks we were fighting because of her. I feel like I have failed to protect her from the one thing I was never protected from growing up: fights, screaming, complaints and lack of consideration. Rationally, I know it's not entirely my fault, and I know I had every right to be exhausted and hurt. Emotionally, I don't think I'll ever forget the fact that I made my sister think she's a burden to me when she is the reason I'm pushing through highschool, to get the job I need and get her everything she needs.

When i lived at home I slept maybe 4 hours a night because my youngest sibling would scream and shreik all night. During the day he would scream and shreik. It's all he does is scream.

All my mom posts about is autism. That's it. Literally all.

She acts like she's the only one in the world with an autistic kid. She literally never posts about anything else. Just two of my brothers as they are both severely autistic.

Like, I've accomplished things in my life too! Some fucking recognition would be nice from my own parents! I graduated high-school! Im in university! I had an 80 average in high-school! Like some recognition even a sentance would be nice.

Not to mention, he broke a phone! And it was ok because hes autistic. Hes still in diapers! Hes almost 6! And IM expected to be a babysitter?? Im not changing a shity diaper of a kid who should be potty trained!

Its INFURIATING because she is so obsessed with pretending to be some famous influencer!

Please tell me im not the only one with a mom like this. Im loosing my goddamn mind every time I see the notification that she posted about autism.

Edit: School photos came out... guess who was the only kid to have theirs posted on her account...! If you guessed the level 3 autistic kid, you'd be correct.

As I mentioned a few months ago (possibly on another account?) I am considering doing my thesis on glass children. This is not for that this is just my curiosity. I am sort of doing a test thesis for a relevant class to try the topic out, and it’s raising so many questions for me that aren’t related to the assignment! One thing I’m super curious about lately is whether there is similarity in the careers we choose.

This is specifically regarding the industry you work in, not your role
(EX: If you’re a recruiter at a hospital you work in the healthcare industry, if you’re a recruiter for amazon you work in a commercially focused industry)

If this one gets a response I’ll do another one about roles because I’m curious about that too, but I did this because we all have very valid reasons why our educational attainment and career prospects may not meet our aspirations or values in terms of role, but we may still choose to work in an industry we care about, that’s been the case for me quite a bit at least (EX: Maybe someone loves education/youth work but doesn’t have the credentials to teach, so they work as a front office admin employee at the local school and volunteer to chaperone all the events etc)

I think some people are just unlucky, so so unlucky. I don't know why life is so unfair? How can one take all this crap with nothing in return at all??

It seems to me is that life never loved me as much as i did love it. Maybe i didn't love it either, but i was trying to survive it every damn time. Ever since i was a little kid, and i was just this normal sweet cute kid that anyone would love to see, loving me was so easy. Yet life said: here's physical abuse (from my sister she's autistic), neglect, rejection, lock up, starvation, and much more. However, i survived the best way i could. I didn't build a life that i would like to live but that's the nature of survival. I was good at school, but of course i wasn't very good was people (how could you trust anyone after being rejected by your own family and being completely on your own at such a young age?). I didn't build habits that would've saved me, because i didn't have any support. So maybe that was the best i could do, i locked and isolated myself, and survived the best way i could. But is that enough? NO. I got shamed in every single way: "you don't love your sister", "you don't pray", "you're not good looking", "you dress badly", "your clothes are showing" (with very conservative clothes btw), "you're not good enough at school", "you don't have purpose", "you don't have a goal", etc. All of this from my dad along with ocassional physical abuse. My mom was rarely present in my life, she was more with my sister.

Moving on from all of this, i got a high grade in high school and got into a pretty good college. Finally got indepndence, lived alone, never failed a class, and finally graduated months ago with an excellent gpa. So you see i was really trying, despite everything i really really tried to give life other chances to make it up to me over and over again.

College was probably the best time of all my life. I was away from home most of the time. Most of the time i was focusing on myself. I struggled with stuff, mostly friendships. I never got into a relationship though cause i was struggling enough with friendships and family. To me right now, all of this seems pretty easy.

Now that i'm back home and still struggling to find a first job or internship, everything suddenly fell apart. My health has not always been the best, and it worsened with all the neglect i always had. My teeth had always been a problem due to neglect when i was young and being careless myself. That i had fillings at pretty much all of them when i was 17 before i entred college. Now im having issues again with them since some formed cavities again under fillings and they are in a bad state in general and i also need to extract a wisdom tooth. I'm tired of going to the dentists and them being either harassers and mean or shameful and "you're young for this", yeah i know. All i want is for this to end, i want to ensure that my teeth health are good again, get an internship, and get out of here again. Cause these people are just hopeless and i'm tired of trying to change them, i also have potential form of rhuematoid (idk which yet), yet they don't care at all, i have to remind them of my injection schedule (cause they give it to me). I don't want to go into much detail of these issues. I just wanted them to be there for me for once, like i always have been, and with no complaints. But when i go and cry my heart out to my dad for once, because i'm tired of all of this, he says "we didn't ever do you wrong", "you chose the wrong college", "you're crazy". Idk how i ever forgave this man, and idk how long should i tolerate him. He did like 2 nice things for me (bare minimum things) and he has the audacity to say "when did we ever do you wrong?". At this point it's just easier to end it cause this doesn't seem like it's getting any better now. It's no matter what i do i will never be happy, life is just against me for some reason. The thing is i don't think i wanna die yet, despite all of this.

I just feel like i started at life not at zero, but at like -100, and no matter what i did or how much i pushed through i'm still back at the exact same point.

I really wish I didn’t have this life

The shame and the stress of all that abnormal behaviour (from the sibling) is just too much

I wouldn’t be surprised if I confused fantasy for reality at this rate

It’s so comforting to be in my head and wild imagination

I wish I never had to wake up from it.

I wish I never had to feel so alone about this.

There is no hope.

I’ve lived my four years of college in a dorm but not I am back home with my parents as I start my first job to save money. THANK GOD I got away from my younger brother. He’s so mentally and physically disabled he’s like an eternal 4 year old in a post puberty adult man’s body (though he has some dwarfism and you can tell he’s disabled immediately).

He wakes up multiple times a night and he just BANGS every toy he has and shouts in a singing tune for hours then HE falls asleep like a baby again, but because my body is not trained for such a dysfunctional household environment anymore I can’t fall asleep again. So I am left with three hours of sleep a day, and I’m going to go insane. I can’t get ANYTHING done and it feels like my whole life now is trying to fall asleep and trying to stay awake and that’s it.

He also masturbates loudly sometimes which was a nightmare to deal with as a young girl and still bothers the living shit out of me. I don’t know what to do.
For those who were able to sleep with loud clueless siblings, what did you do?

Just wondering everyone else's dynamics. I'm not allowed to talk to my sibling about the term glass child. Therefore, their struggles take priority while I'm stuck navigating.

For context, I (18F) have gotten into university after highschool (one of my biggest achievements aside from graduating high-school due to my horrific mental health.

To add to my context, I am the oldest and have no diagnosed mental disabilities (however I do suspect something very mild-ish), and i am diagnosed with multiple chronic mental health issues due to childhood complex trauma.

When i graduated my highschool, my mother posted about my graduation, which instantly made me happy. She rarely posts about me since the birth of my youngest sibling, usually only posting about his disability, so naturally, i eagerly checked the notification.

However, when i opened the post, it was not what I expected. It was about my siblings (2 have extreme mental disabilities and the other 2 have more tamed mental disabilities but still require to almost walk on eggshells), and their small milestones... then i looked at the bottom part of the post and saw "and OP graduated!"

Am I right to be really hurt by this? Even months later?

Its stuck with me truely through these months, and my overthinking makes me believe that I am being childish over this (to add, i was never allowed to be 'childish' at home as i was parentafied from age 8 for my brother, who is the same age as me, to basically be a forced babysitter through the other 3 siblings too) so naturally, me feeling childish brings me great distress.

Am I wrong in this? Im not sure, but i guess im posting for some clarity to my own conflicted thoughts.

Sorry for spam im just not doing good and every time I try to confide in anyone im real life they treat my situation as a joke. I’m genuinely feeling unwell. Idk what is happening but this past week my head and throat feel on fire like im having high blood pressure? I’m not doing well I am So tense my back hurts. It’s not fair. this can’t be normal. My brothers care worker rescheduled again after saying she’d come today. Her and my mom have a good relationship so my mom won’t get someone more reliable. She is a nice person but I really need someone to take my brother away from me so I can get a break. Like she only comes one day a week and she misses so much there is no consistency . it’s not fair. Now im stuck with this boy jacking off again. I had to reschedule my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow cause he is supposed to go to day service that day so that is the only day I’ll apparently get a break. Pain pain pain

Hi
This is my first time ever reaching out about this. I have struggled my whole life with the absence of community or shared experience.

I am 31f, with two severely disabled non verbal siblings. My parents are long since separated and to this day have an incredibly fractured relationship. Filled with animosity and I have always been the middle party here. The attempts I have made to carve out my own life path and set boundaries have been hit with disgust and guilt tripping.

I have no support within my family. I have been parentified since I can remember. I am blessed/cursed at being seemingly neurotypical and very high functioning - I have a very good job and income as an engineer and have a wonderful large group of friends who are so kind and supportive.

However I feel incredibly lonely. I have never met anyone in a similar situation to me. My parents care more about their hatred of each other than their love of me. I have always been at the back of their minds/their last thought because I never struggled at school, never needed support. The curse of having high intelligence (and in another family I suspect I would have been diagnosed autistic!)

I’m not sure what I’m looking for with this post. Maybe a friend I can rant with. Someone who hears and understands what I’ve been through. My IRL friends are incredible and lovely but none of them have the faintest idea of what my life is like. They all think I’m so strong and wonderful - I’m none of those things, I just never had a choice to be otherwise.

I am a 31F who lives in India and have a younger brother 25M and my family is thinking about getting him married. My brother is medium functioning AuDHD and also has slight intellectual disability. He can function himself and even helps with chores around the house and apart from needing supervision and presence, he’s mostly independent. We have money saved up for him for his life and I will also continue to provide him any financial or emotional support needed.

Recently, my parents have been telling me that it would be nice to him married. Probably find someone who’s disabled and similar in needs, and with a family supporting them like ours so that my brother can have a companion. I don’t see anything wrong with it and I understand that it might even be nice for him. But I am scared that even after we vet and find someone that way, there are chances that they might not be as supportive in the future and I would have to take care of two adults with special needs after my parents pass along. I have already decided that my brother and I live will live closer together (same building, different floors) and taking care of him is something I decided to do a long time ago. While I’m okay with also taking care of someone who brings him happiness and joy, I would really like some support from the partner’s family as well and I am scared that I might not get that.

I would appreciate any advice or similar stories/experiences so that I can think and have an informed conversation with my family. Thanks in advance!

P.S: If any glass children are here from India, I would love to connect with them. I have no glass children friends and I would love to have someone to talk to about these.

Every time I make a stride in my own life and mental health he destroys it. I want to say evil things but it could get me in trouble. My mom just lets it all happen … im tired of this. Im tired of never being able to relax. Never ever. And she won’t put him on medicine she won’t put him in
A disability daycare even though he has access to it she only lets him go once a week even though he should go at least five days a week
At least I can get some peace of mind im this house, but she don’t care she just don’t care . My brother is touching on himself and for some reason my mom decided to let the window open for all to see . I’m sick of this house im so Embarassed I already thin the neighbors think I’m a freak cause of my own issues of anxiety and constantly looking out the window. Now this?

Whatever

I love my sister, and I know it’s not her fault. She loves me and defends me which makes it harder. I don’t want to resent her but I do.

It started when I was younger and not able to understand why I felt this way, I would lash out at her and I couldn’t control how I responded to her. Everything she said annoyed me but I loved her and would cry for her after. Now that I’m older I understand, but it doesn’t make it too much easier.

I used to ask myself why she would get everything when I was “more well rounded”. I was the outgoing child that was good at everything I tried, normal gifted bs. But even then I never felt good enough for my mom, my dad was there but not really emotionally present in most of these scenarios.

My sister got all the doctors appointments, therapists, medication, tutoring etc whatever. Yet I had to struggle and fight to get my own ADHD diagnosis when I turned 18. Just for my mom to tell me after that she always knew I had it but just didn’t think I needed to be diagnosed or treated, that I did okay in school. But when I would get bad grades in school it was my fault, never got me any tutoring or offered to help. I was a child and I felt so alone.

So I guess I started to blame her subconsciously. Now I know it’s not her fault but I still struggle to have a normal sister relationship. I know that I’ll never have a traditional relationship with my sister, but I want to move closer to that I guess. Honestly I don’t know what I want, maybe just to feel like I’m not alone or dramatic or crazy.