Corporate girly here. I’ve been in game for a little over a decade and while I’ve never loved working I always found it tolerable. Lately I feel like it’s getting worse and worse to the point I can’t stand it. Constant layoffs and re-orgs with zero sense of job security. Being ranked against my peers, feeling overworked and having to take on more and more responsibilities, being gaslit that I should be able to do the work of an entire team due to to AI, and feeling like I need to meet arbitrary metrics which seem to become more and more unattainable every year. They even started adding tracking software to our computers.

I’m just over it! I try not to let it bother me but it’s just hard since I need the job and income right now and I have to play along in order to keep the job. I do have significant savings but not enough to stop working right now. The job market is really tough for my industry (finance/tech) and I’ve not had much luck finding something else. Although it may be jumping from one fire to another at this point with the way the industry is going.

I’m very grateful that I started saving so that hopefully I can get out of this mess soon but it feels like every day is getting harder and harder and sometimes I come out of the work day feeling so stressed, frustrated, and burned out. The message from management has been that we should just feel lucky to have a job and if we don’t like it then leave because they need to reduce headcount right now….it really sucks working for overlords that hate your existence 😂

Hey yall! I’m new to this community, but have loved lurking on it. I just got an offer for $95k, which exactly what I asked for but now I’m really wanting to hit $100k. I’m currently at $80k salary. The recruiter and I spoke for a few minutes on the phone today to discuss the offer and I told her I wanted to look at the complete offer letter, and will likely have some questions. She hasn’t sent the letter after we spoke, but essentially this is the offer:

- $95K salary
- Bonus eligible, based on company and individual performance each year
- $1,800 work phone stipend
- Recruiter mentioned that 80% of healthcare is covered by the company
- Eligible for employee stock nomination after 5 years

I have some questions like 401k matching, PTO, and more, and I was hoping they’d send the offer letter after our call so that I can analyze it.

I know I’m getting ahead of things since they haven’t sent the official letter, but I want to be prepared to give the recruiter a call to discuss tomorrow.

$95k is an amazing salary (to me). It would be a $15k increase from my current job, but I guess the personal milestone of making “six figures” is satisfying and that extra $5k to grow from each year would help me along my FI journey.

So with that said, what would you all do in my situation? Should I ask for a bump?

Hi ladies!
I’m in my 30s and currently at a point in my life where I’m looking to make a career change and become more intentional about building wealth and of course increasing my income to eventually fire.

I’ve previously owned businesses, and I’m currently working in a completely different industry. While I’m grateful to be employed, I know this isn’t where I want to stay long-term.

I’m interested in exploring career paths that could potentially lead to a six-figure salary, ideally without having to go back to school for another four-year degree.
I’m open to certifications, short-term training, learning new skills, or even starting in a lower-paying role if there’s a realistic opportunity for significant salary growth.

I’d love to hear from women who have successfully made career pivots, especially in their 30s or later.

For context, I’m based in Canada, but I’m open to hearing experiences from women everywhere.
My ultimate goal is to increase my earning potential, invest more aggressively, and create greater financial freedom for myself.

I’d really appreciate any advice or personal experiences!

I’m new to this sub and am excited to have found it! I don’t post on Reddit often, but I figured it’d be nice to get some human perspectives instead of running things by AI and trying to model things in a spreadsheet by myself.

I’m in my mid-30s, my husband is 40, and we have two young kids (a 4mo baby and a 4yo). I work as a software engineer with total comp around $350k. My husband currently earns around $220k (though this will likely increase in the next 6 months since he is in a contract-to-hire role), and our household net worth is approximately $2.6M, including home equity. Our kids’ 529s are both fully funded, and we have no debt besides our mortgage.

I’m on maternity leave and trying to decide whether to return full-time, negotiate part-time, or leave work for roughly 2-3 years (basically until the baby is ready for part- or full-time preschool). I have been pursuing coursework in an unrelated field as a second career option, so I’d likely want to return to some form of work later, especially when the baby is old enough for elementary school.

We spend pretty lavishly around $20k/month currently, but we’d be willing to cut back on travel and discretionary spending to make staying home work. We don’t need to maximize wealth indefinitely, but financial security and the option to retire early are important to us. I’m also concerned about the difficulty of returning to tech after a career break, particularly as a woman.

I realize continuing to earn my current comp would accelerate FIRE substantially. But I’m struggling with whether that additional wealth is worth the opportunity cost of time with my kids right now. We’ve already exceeded our CoastFI goals. It feels to me like money is fungible, but the time with the baby in the first 2-3 years is not fungible. My work offers 60% and 80% part-time work options, but they’re not guaranteed. I’d have to get a part-time arrangement approved by my higher-ups.

For those who have faced a similar decision:
- Did you take a career break, go part-time, or keep working?
- How did you decide how much additional wealth was worth sacrificing family time for?
- If you left a high-paying tech job, how difficult was returning?
- Looking back, are you happy with your choice?

I’d especially appreciate perspectives from women with high household incomes who had the option to leave work, rather than people who had to keep working for financial reasons.

Usual caveats that I realize this is a hugely privileged position to be in, and I am grateful to be able to make a decision like this (though I am a bit overwhelmed at all the choices :) ).

Hi!

I’m just starting in my first job (started in March 2026) and I’m not financially independent yet, I’m still living w my parents and not paying any living expenses (I do give them part of my salary). I have a very ambitious mindset but given I make 1,170usd a month I simply don’t know where to start. Should I enjoy my money? Should I be strictly frugal? Should I save all of it?

I’m quite lost so I’ll appreciate any advice.

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?

I am curious to know from women who earn a good salary and live comfortably, what made you realise that earning well doesn’t necessarily mean being wealthy?

What are the subtle signs that you’re still middle class despite a high income?

I ask because, although I earn well and can save and invest a decent amount, I still struggle to tell whether I’m genuinely wealthy enough to afford certain luxuries or simply financially comfortable middle class.

I am an opinionated woman who says my opinion and sometimes it aligns more with what manosphere thinks is "pro man" and sometimes it aligns more with what manosphere thinks is "feminist" but in neither case am I interested in what random men think when I'm in a woman-oriented space, in comments and especially in DMs.

FIRE is already such a male dominated world and money brings up so many ugly feelings for guys, especially straight guys. I get that, I do, but this is where we talk about what it is for femmes.

That is going to include tricky conversations like, How do I pick a FIRE-supportive man? How do I navigate misogyny and patriarchy in the workplace? And while I am open to a healthy vigorous debate among other femmes on these topics, dismissive male responses (and votes) are just not it.

I would love if Mods put in some restrictions on, maybe flair for how we identify, and let people close threads down to only responses from other femmes. Just an idea / starting point. And i will own I'm pregnant and hormonal as all hell so (if you are a femme) feel free to talk me out of my grump. What can we do.

ETA: By the way I just need to say this post got popular and Reddit sent me the notif: "People are loving your post. r/FIREyFemmes loved it, we think r/AskIndianMen will too"... Now why would their algorithm associate those communities 💀

This subreddit is one of my favorites, and it feels like one of the only spaces where I actually get to talk about FIRE goals with predominantly folks who identify as women. It has been a great place to talk about career growth, ambition, and how that impacts relationships, and a safe place for women to educate themselves and one another about financial instruments.

So seeing the comments on this post fucking bums me out. Can’t we have one place on the internet where I don’t have to hear the opinions of men? Can we consider flair, or ways of locking down posts to members only, especially when a particular post gets wider traction? I don’t actually see a rule in the community that says this space is primarily for female-identifying people to talk about money, so I didn’t report those butthurt comments, I don’t even know whether they’re breaking a rule. This post is to a) get clarity and b) propose that we might need to break out bigger mod tactics when a post escapes containment.

EDIT: not only has one of the trolls invaded this post, they’re now stalking my comment history and leaving shitty insults on comments going back for years. I’m blocking this pathetic piece of dog shit, but can we please get this under control?

This year I tried exploring the dating scene after 2yrs of being single, but most of the guys I talked to (all of whom I was physically attracted to) didn’t have stable jobs and/or were not interested in being financially independent. Some mentioned wanting to be “rich” without any plans.

I’m 28yo and I want to have kids and my ultimate goal is to be able to retire early to focus on my children. Honestly thinking of becoming a single mom instead of just settling.

I’m so sorry if I sound like an asshole who just thinks about money. I grew up poor and I definitely have financial anxiety.

Idk this is probably just a rant. Feeling kinda lost rn. Anyone in a similar situation?

Edit: Thank you so much for all your comments. You don’t know how comforting your words are. I feel so seen.

Corporate evil is awful. Was terminated on Monday, I believe due to a personal grudge, and the causes they listed are baseless. I was an at-will employee so they didn’t need to state the reasons they did, but I know it was to pressure me into signing the separation agreement which says I won’t sue them. They said if I sign they’ll just call it restructuring and not say the evil lies so I can still find employment (gee thanks). Severence is 6 months pay. I likely won’t find another job in my location that pays this well. I’m a divorced mom with shared custody so can’t easily move anywhere for work.

That being said, I did not sign it and I hired a lawyer to review it and help me negotiate. Please share any severance negotiation tips or stories. I can’t get my job back or the years I gave them (making them look awesome because I was in PR), but I can try to milk them for all they are worth and give them a run for their money with this severance.

I've lurked on this subreddit for a while and have found it incredibly helpful to get perspectives from other women on this path. While FI was my goal for a while, I had the realization a little over a year ago that I would not be satisfied with my life if I did not pursue something I've always been interested in - medicine.

I wanted to put the perspective out there of making a decision that is explicitly not the one that makes the most financial sense in the hopes that I will derive more meaning and fulfillment in my life over the long arc. In my career (tech), I've met a lot of people in a similar state of ennui/complacency and I hope this might inspire some action and introspection for those who find themselves in the boat I was in a few years ago.

What has my path looked like and where will my pivot take me?

I am currently 28 and have worked as an engineer at startups for the past 6 years. I will need to take all the pre-med classes (1 year) before med school (1 year application year + 4 years). Residency length is specialty dependent but I estimate at least 5/6 years for the specialties I am interested in.

What do my numbers look like and what is my situation?

I am a single woman and live alone in a VHCOL city. I do not have any debt from university and will not incur debt from going to med school due to a funded 529 account***. I have gotten lucky in the startups I've worked for over the past few years and been a part of acquisitions that have resulted in significant financial upside, resulting in where I'm at today.

~90k savings (combo HYSA/CD) - I am pretty cash heavy as I will be drawing down these savings in the short term once I go back to school)

~25k stocks

~175k mutual funds

~250k retirement accounts (401k, IRA, etc)

~500k home equity

How will this impact my FI(RE) plans?

It will significantly push out my projections for financial independence as I will be income-less for 5 years. I am effectively abandoning these goals.

I have never wanted to retire early - I enjoy keeping myself busy and would rather work longer in something that's meaningful to me. Money is important to me insofar as it allows me to better support those who I care about, and I have always tried to do my part in making up for gaps that others face in their lives. I volunteer heavily in underserved communities and this has also significantly influenced my decision to pursue medicine.

Having the goal of financial independence ever since I started working (and saving/investing aggressively) has definitely put me in a position to be able to "start over" in my career pivot. I will not have to take out loans for living expenses in med school.

It will take around 10/11 years for me to earn an attending salary (if unfamiliar, residents are paid but at a much lower rate, estimated ~80k a year for the city I live in) which I'd estimate to range anywhere from 300-600k depending on specialty. I'll be ~40 at this point. I am on the fence about kids and am considering freezing my eggs before my current job health insurance runs out.

Once I start earning an attending salary I will rejoin this sub if the internet still exists haha

How did I make the decision to go into medicine?

TLDR is that I got extreme FOMO from hearing my med student + resident friends' anecdotes of being in the operating room, and shadowing various surgeons and speaking to them about their paths only solidified that this is what I want to pursue. I am so captivated by medicine and I've always enjoyed watching surgeries + learning about what we can do to make peoples' lives better. Five years (post-bacc + med school) of no income / readjustment seemed like a very small price to pay given my financial position for a very rewarding and impactful career path.

While I am good at what I do and have been professionally successful, I get very little enjoyment out of the work and do not enjoy the types of people I work with (I don't really care to keep up with the latest trends in AI, nor do I enjoy the craft of software engineering now that it's been eroded away by LLM coding). I have hobbies and relationships I nurture but I realized that these alone do not balance the dissatisfaction I feel from spending ~50-60 hours a week, the bulk of my waking hours, in an unfulfilling job. I also do not have a strong desire to have kids, which is another area where I know people find fulfillment. I have achieved many life milestones very early (for my age) and it feels incredibly to just coast (I am kind of terrible at resting on my laurels, but that is another conversation). I have a lot of intellectual hobbies and crave using my brain more actively day-to-day. Right now, career makes the most sense to me as the lever to pull to make my life more meaningful.

*** Huge caveat from above - I would likely have a completely different perspective on going to medical school if I knew I would have to take out loans to fund my years of education and this privilege is not lost on me. Education funding is completely broken in America but that is a separate discussion.

Reading this back, maybe I wrote this post mainly for myself to log my thought process, but I'm very happy to answer any questions. Thanks for reading!

UPDATE: This got a fuck ton of traction and I appreciate the huge spectrum of perspectives, from the kind “you’re an asshole he should leave you” comments to the “he’s a mooch you should leave” replies— and then many other great examples of how this dynamic has played out for others. You all helped me realize that this is NOT an income or even an ambition discrepancy issue (bc i agree, he makes plenty and the different isn’t even that much). What’s really bothering me is ensuring we are equally invested in our future and are working toward a shared vision. I have not been able to articulate this root fear until now. He has not been able to share his vision clearly or even his thoughts about mine. A proof of commitment that goes beyond words is the answer. It doesn’t have to be money. It can be time, effort, ownership, etc. I love him deeply and think my fear and stress can be alleviated as long as our mutual AND equal commitment to our future together is clear.

I already opened up another convo with him about some of the points here and we’re looking for a Gottman certified therapist. Again, I really appreciate all the perspective, including the ones checking me that were tough to hear. That’s why I posted. Much love.

——-

TLDR; I outearn my boyfriend and will only continue to outpace him. I also have the more flexible job and thus contribute to more household labor. But he’s wonderful. Is love enough or will I always resent him?

I (29F) make 125-150k with bonus a year. My boyfriend (33M) makes around 80k. I pay for an equitable share of mortgage and bills. We run a basement airbnb that brings in 25-30k and we share that income. The house is in my name, as I took care of the down payment. It will be mine should we ever split, but I would help him out financially to start over if so.

We’ve been together just over 3 years and marriage conversations are beginning to happen. We’re not sure yet and have agreed that there are some things to align on before (and if) we get engaged.

FINANCES
- I’m about to start grad school for an MBA where I will pay for my own school entirely and expect to come out of it earning close to $200k. Not a guarantee but I know I will be above 150 by then with my next promotion. Far future I want to own a business and envision myself being highly successful and wealthy.

- He’s basically at a ceiling with his current job. He stopped at an Associates degree but has done well to get to where he’s at. My biggest gripe is that he works weekends and holidays which makes quality time or collaborative tasks hard. He’s uninterested in going back to school even though I’ve offered to take over even more finances and allow him to use the joint airbnb income more freely.

- We each have about 100k in retirement.

LABOR
- I work remotely and have the freedom to contribute more household labor than he, who works 8-10 hour shift on his feet. He is not lazy or a loser by any means but I have high expectations when it comes to cleanliness. This is probably the #1 reason we fight.

- I also handle 90% of responsibilities around the airbnb but 100% of that income is spent on big home projects and travel.

KIDS
- Not sure yet. We only recently discussed the possibility of him being primary caretaker if we decide to have kids given my career trajectory. He is open to this and I believe he’d be a very patient and engaged father.

Overall, he is wonderful, trustworthy, and an extremely stable partner. He is kind, understanding, and gives me a lot of grace be to be human. He’s supportive of my ambitions and willing to let my career take the front seat. We’ve discussed that as I get an MBA, his share of household labor needs to go up a lot so that will be a bit of a test. Regardless, I feel really nervous that my ambition is going to always be higher and that i’m going to “outgrow” where we’re at and he won’t want to come with. That once I reach a new level of success, my desires and interests are going to change and we’ll no longer be aligned in our vision for the future. Part of me has dreamt of a more “power couple” dynamic, but don’t think that’s what I actually want. I really appreciate that his grounded, stable presence has likely contributed to my success in my career. Like, I don’t know that I’d have the confidence to pursue an MBA if I didn’t have that emotional sense of security around me.

I’ve expressed my concerns (in a slightly gentler way) to him, and he seems to not be worried at all. I can’t really get him to articulate a vision for himself or our life, but his judgement has served him well so far so maybe that’s okay? and he’s just okay following my lead? But I also find myself wanting him to be a man (EDIT: an adult) and take ownership and be fully in charge of something that involves us both and doesn’t just impact him. Idk. Please someone tell me if it sounds like I want to have my cake and eat it too. I’m hoping to hear from people who are or have been in similar situations. What do you expect and what are your tradeoffs when you’re the breadwinner?

Hello to the community! I am about to turn 26, and am in an extremely privileged financial situation. I have never been super on top of managing my money, but have been trying to keep up with the basics to set myself up for as much of a good future as I can. Have always been very frugal (immigrant parents <3) in spending in general.

Finances Overview:
401k: $160k
Company Stock: $70k
Roth IRA: $20k
HSA: $10k
Robo Investing Acc on Wealthfront: $100k
High Yield Certificates: $160k
Annual Take Home Pay Post-Tax and Post-401k Contributions: ~$80k

Am I a good candidate to look into FIRE and start working towards a more concrete goal? To really lock in on better ways to manage my money for the long-term and find a way to retire early?

Things on my mind:

- National/global economy: My parents came from a place where you wake up and aren’t sure how much your currency is worth today. What if one day all of this means nothing?
- Current job: I work in big tech and nothing is stable. Everyone is getting laid off left and right, and as a remote employee who is not in RTO, I’m vulnerable to the chopping block. I don’t think I can find a six figure job in the current job market if/when I lose this.
- Another person: After spending 2 years setting up a life to stay single for life, I got into a relationship that is getting pretty serious with someone who is bogged down with student loans and mildly painful day-to-day spending habits. About to embark on a steep learning curve on co-finances and like, co-life in general.
- General worry: FIRE seems intense, like it asks a lot from you in your early years. I don’t know how I feel about changing my life drastically to gun for a result that may or may not happen.

But also… what if I could pull it off? And in any case, shooting for the moon could land you among the stars, right?

Does anyone have advice or points of consideration as I figure out how (if at all) to get off my fence? Thanks in advance to this community!

I've finally decided to pull the trigger and will be giving notice after the new year -- don't want to lose out on my paid vacation days in December. My job requires 3 weeks notice so I plan to work until the 3rd week of January.

Since I will be working a few weeks into the new year, I still need to make benefit decisions during open enrollment, which ends Nov 1. I am considering adjusting my medical plan selection and investment contribution with the idea that I'll want more cash in my bank account than taken from my paycheck. Has anyone made moves like this prior to retirement?

Do you spend extra on your insurance to protect the assets you're reliant upon from liability claims?

Or is it an extra spend that is only worthwhile in situations that don't pertain to you?

I’m about to be 50, we have 4M NW before real estate. I want to retire. I know we can do it but I can’t pull the trigger. My husband has the benefits and does well but we spend more than his salary. Our kids are expensive and college is around the corner (not so soon) and I know things are going to stay expensive for a while.

I want to stop working but I don’t think I can get over the mental block of not earning and having our expenses be higher than income.

Did anyone fire in a similar situation feel ok with it? Any advice?

I (26F) feel like I'm going to get ripped apart in the comments, i understand how fucked my brain is and I'm sorry in advance for how irrational this post probably is :,( any kind perspectives are so appreciated.

Edit to add on my current place: if I don't renew my lease it'll go up to 2135 as month to month come March, if I do renew by Dec, it'll be 2040 starting in March.

I just moved in March and pay 2,000 in rent for a place that I truly love in Seattle, but it eats at me how much the rent is.

I have OCD and just don’t know where to draw the line when it comes to hyper-optimizing, I feel like I move from one upsetting thing to ruminate about to the next, and as of late: my mind can’t let go of the fact that I feel like I spend too much on rent. 

I do feel stupid for paying this much in rent when I could be paying less, but I’m also happy where I am and can technically afford it. It just kills me that I’m not optimized as much as I could be and ‘wasting’ the money. 

But I could see myself moving and then fixating on some other issue the new place has. And then needing to move again!

Why am I posting?

An apartment literally across the street just opened up that’s 1,550/month. It's a screaming deal to be honest.

EXACTLY the kind of windows and layout that I love, but I don’t know how quiet of a place it is.

I’m extremely sensitive to sound also due to OCD, and the place I have currently is amazingly quiet and peaceful, with so much natural light. I can't hear a thing from the other units, which is so mentally good for me.

I feel like if I move, there's just going to be something new to ruminate about, like hearing the neighbor's TV through the walls, whatever it is.

I feel so stupid that I can’t entirely let myself enjoy my current apartment because it doesn’t feel like a bargain or like I’m saving. It feels like I'm hitting an upper limit.

I spend 2k on rent currently, then utilities, 7,500 post-tax take home pay (120k gross salary), roughly 489k saved so far in brokerage accounts. 

To move, I would need to break my lease for 2k, probably give back my month of free rent discount (another 2k), and then also pay for the cost of however long is needed to re-rent this unit. So that alone could end up being 6k just to switch apartments. 

When I say I go from one crisis that makes me ruminate to the next:

I just moved in March to escape a horrible facebook roommate situation that unfolded (story for another time but lost 12 lbs due to anxiety if that gives you any clue, there were hidden cameras, barricades, roommates started having sex). So I’m fresh from moving from that. 

Had a job change over the summer that also was anxiety inducing but it’s fine now 

Another crazy life event that just ended literally days ago but caused a bunch of stress for months. 

I don't know whether to give my brain a break or to jump on the chance to get lower rent, at the risk of blowing up my mental health if there's some kind of issue at the new place :,( I hate my brain

I've been feeling very burned out with ... All of it?

I'm shoving all the money I can into my 401k and Roth IRA for a retirement that feels so far away.

But I also cannot bring myself to reduce my savings rate for fear of the dreaded "lifestyle creep" setting retirement even further off.

And on top of that, I don't really have anything I want. It was bad enough my therapist made me list out things one could spend money on (house, travel, clothes) but none of it actually seems exciting.

So, I guess my question is what are you saving up to spend on, besides eventual retirement?

More specifically, would you switch from instructor-led reformer Pilates to video-led sessions if it freed up about $200 a month to invest?

You’d book a reformer, choose a workout based on your goals for the day, and follow an on-screen instructor using wireless headphones.

Has anyone tried this format? Did you still get a good workout and stay consistent, or did you miss the live instruction enough to justify paying more? I’m trying to make smarter choices but is this a silly move I wouldn’t be satisfied with - it’s a 3 mon commitment at $120CAD/mon. Or would should I stick to instructor led at $300CAD/mon - trying to find ways to free up cash for investments, it’s tempting. I love reformer so I can’t cancel it 😅 trying to get creative.

How's the week looking for you? Hit any milestones? Have any questions?