70/30 custody no overnights for me.
2 years in court never seen a judge.

On Sunday my 4yo said as we were leaving the birthday party that he wanted to marry one of the girls there.

I asked him what that felt like he said that he wanted to touch her leg and that she was very pretty.
I asked him where he had seen this behavior before and he said that he had seen that with his cousins, a nine-year-old boy and a four-year-old girl
Brother and sister (these are my exes younger sister‘s children).

on the way home from the party, I asked him a little bit more and told him that it’s not OK to touch anybody & and that no one‘s allowed to touch him no matter what.
He explained that he wanted a sibling or sister just like his cousin and he might of confused sibling live with romantic love? however, it’s jarring to hear that from a small child, and even the concept of romantic love should be foreign to small child, let alone touching another sibling or romantic.
he idolize his nine-year-old cousin and has recently adopted his vernacular & talks about him constantly.

immediately once he fell asleep on the drive home, call my ex-wife & did not text, which is very rare for me and explained to her what he had just said.
she proceeded to say that it was due to the fact that I had showed him Aladdin the Disney movie.

prior to our separation, we both witnessedmy child’s cousin display sexual movements that he would only have seen & we assumed he was exposed to sexual behavior at a young age.
We discussed that our soon to be born child should never be alone with his cousin. In hindsight, I think we should’ve called CPS. But that ship has sailed. now after separation (active custody case fighting for 50/50) she refuses to acknowledge that conversation ever took place (gaslighting me) and proceeds to blame me for his behavior.

I am worried about my child and my exes, conscious or unconscious allowance of our child to be around his cousin. She is choosing to protect her family over protecting our child yet I have no way of proving this and want now more than 50-50 custody as again. I’m worried about what he is being exposed to and what constitutes his environment.

She has made false accusations since she filed and and i have had to rebuff each and everyone of these allegations, while consenting to her asks with no progress (my legal team may be the issue).
But after hearing this from him and hearing her response when I shared my concerns.
I have never felt this concerned for his health and wellbeing when he is with her.

Venting and should I call CPS now?

We just got done with a step up plan for the father of our 4 year old son and a week after finishing the the step up, he’s filed to move an hour and 3 min away. How does this work for others? I didn’t expect this and we currently have the right of refusal because of his inconsistency and leaving him with random people throughout the day when I work from home so I’m always there to take care of the child when he’s off work and he can come get him. I offered the 50/50 2255 schedule because we only live 5 mins from each other? Obviously I don’t think this is going to work now since his school is also right down the road from us as well but since he’s moving an hour away? He’s only asking for 3 weekends a month. I’m also off on weekends, can we alternate weekends? Is this possible? And we don’t do any type of child support bc we make the same but since we make the same he asked for child support to be revised and to take in consideration of his travel expenses? What does this mean? And we also have the right of refusal for the 2255 and he wants that changed now since he’s moving. - Kentucky

I just ask. He misses every other visit. I have lost 120 hours of work this year taking care of my kid. He demands that I accommodate his work schedule. What would a judge likely do? This has been going on years.

I meant to put NCP but it won't let me edit the title.

Child is almost 7, violent ex (with long track record) promised 6 years ago to stay away as long as I didn’t go for child support. So he’s been non existent up until he decided to serve me last year with a 50/50 plan. It’s been almost 9 months since our trial and still have heard nothing from the court. Is this normal? Will it reach years? It’s getting tough not knowing the outcome for your childs future for this long

Let me start off by saying, I want my daughter (8mo) and her dad to have the best relationship, and I understand that we will eventually move to 50/50 custody. I am all for this.

However, I don’t feel like my husband is currently stable. He just moved into his parents basement with our two dogs, and there is not an extra room for her there. He also has recently been laid off, so his plans for future work could have non-conventional hours. Before his layoff, he was working M-Th, and he wouldn’t see baby those days because he would leave before she wakes up and come home after she was in bed.

For the last 8 months, I’ve handled all child care, routines, sleep, dr appointments, etc. she is still actively breastfeeding at night (2-5x per night, and less for nourishment and more comfort). I work from home so I’m able to have childcare in my home while also being able to nurse/care for baby on my breaks.

When he moved out last week, we had a common agreement that we would work up to 50/50 custody. A day after he moved out, he proposed a 50/50 custody split and handed me papers from his lawyer . I stated that I was uncomfortable with overnights because she still nurses at night but I’m happy to have him have her M/W/F Until bedtime approaches and then 8-2 on Saturday and Sunday . He does not want to do this and still wants overnights at his parents. I even offered him to come stay at the house if he wanted her to wake up with him there. Still, he won’t budge. He has never done a bath time, bed time, or middle of the night wake up.

Again, I’m happy to be flexible but I don’t feel great about immediate overnights and I think a step-up plan would be in the best interest of baby (overnights starting around 18 mo, or sooner if she self weans and can self soothe at night). He doesn’t have stable work right now, and my concern is that he will get 50/50 and then have to leave the baby with other people if he’s working 12+ hour shifts again. My eldest child’s (11F) father and myself have never had to go through this. We have always co-parented really well, and parenting plans weren’t even in the question. We also worked up to 50/50.

I’ll also say that my husbands mom is really really pushing this. She told me “I’m going to get 50% custody of that child if it takes the millions that I have” and they’ve spent a lot of money on fancy lawyers. I am independent and am the sole caretaker of my family, and I’m worried that a less “fancy” lawyer is going to hurt my case.

Are there any stipulations you included, or wish you included, regarding future romantic partners as part of your custody agreement ? TIA!

Any tools you used to help prepare for a high stakes settlement conference? Mediation did not go well. I tend to cave under pressure, while my ex will not. I also have no reason to cave as I am aligned with the professionals recommendations, while my ex actively tries to reject them but I think he has been pushed into a corner by his lawyer. Our children's GAL will be present and we were just assigned a judge that I understand rubberstamps whatever our GAL recommends. I do agree with the GAL and don't really care to fight on her recommendations.

So me and kiddo’s dad split when our kiddo was 8ish weeks. So since then we’ve been doing me M-F and him Sat and Sun. (Other parent was order to keep child until Monday at 7am, but parent unable to do that, so child retuned to primary parent Sunday evening.)

Mom and dad live and hour apart

Fast forward. Child is age 3. Scheduled been maintained for 3 yrs. Mom (primary) moves. Different city but now 1hr and 20 min instead of 1hr. So additional 20 min away but all driving increases are done by mom so dad’s schedule changed NONE. Mom just drives longer to get kid to dad

At age 3 father started exercising his Monday AM

So currently it’s Mom: Monday-Friday and Dad Friday-Monday

Father now wants increased time. Father wants 50/50 week on week off. Totally understand he wants more time. Totally understand that he’s in a position to be able to care for her more

but she’s gonna be four in a few months… I’m thinking of school and commutes and the future.

WE LIVE 1Hr and 20 Min Apart. Judge does not want her commuting 1hr and 20 min to school.

I suggested increasing his time and exchanging her Thursday afternoon so he’d have a whole extra night and day with her.

He declined.

I suggested a dinner during the week.

He declined and said 50/50 or he’ll take me for primary custody…

I’m just upset because I don’t wanna block his access to her, I just am trying to think of how this impacts her future school/arrangements

Any suggestions on what to do. I want to find a solution for both of us? we live 1hr and 20 minutes apart.

California Advice for Custody

Hi everyone. Hopefully I don't upset anyone but wanted some advice for my brother. Him and his ex-gf have seperated just recently. They were living together with family of hers for over a year and there was an argument between my brother and another family member. I'm trying to keep this very vague, because I don't want to share too many details. It wasn't a physical fight it was just a family member was already drunk and they said not so very nice things about my brother and him not taking care of his child. Him and the ex gf don't work right now and the child is under a year old, so they both took care of them. My brother was essentially kicked out and he is staying with me at the moment. I told my brother that he is more than welcome to bring his child over anytime, just let me know. As far right now his ex gf let's him go over to the house still to see the baby. So my question is in case things go south in there attempt to co parent. What would be the best advice you could give for a situation like this right now? What would have you prepared for that you didn't think about till later down the road? I really don't want things to go south but I just worry about my brother and help him if things take a turn.

Is anyone willing to share their 2-2-3 plan that was submitted to court? I have a general idea but legal document wise don’t know what to expect or how to propose it.

I'm preparing for consultations for a contested child custody case, and I'm trying to learn how to choose well before I hire anyone. I'm not asking for legal advice about a specific case, and I'm not asking anyone to recommend a specific attorney to me here.

For those of you who have been through a custody case — especially a contested one — how did you pick your attorney, and what do you wish you'd known or asked sooner?

• In the first consultation, what questions actually helped you tell whether an attorney was prepared and strategic, versus just reactive?

• What did good communication and organization look like in practice for you — and what were the early warning signs that it wasn't there?

• What are reasonable expectations around honesty and transparency about process, timelines, costs, and risks, especially for someone going through the court system for the first time?

• Is there anything you would do differently in choosing an attorney if you had to do it again?

I'm not looking for a lawyer to be a therapist. What I value most is someone who will be direct and honest — even when the answer isn't what I want to hear — and who will explain the process clearly at each step, including what to expect, what could go wrong, and what decisions are actually mine to make.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Were you able to override the state child support? If yes, what types of evidence did you require? My lawyer seems to drag his feet of requesting evidence. My primary requests are to impute my coparents income as they work part time. There is also investment income as well. I did gather evidence already regarding the availability of full time work.

Was married to DM (daughters Mom) had child in wedlock. Got dissolution of marriage when our girl was 3. Week on week off. I took care of laundry, dinner, taking and picking up from daycare etc. that’s what I wanted and agreed to. This went on for years until around 3 years ago when DM met yet another man this time one old enough to be her father and it’s a $ thing %100. No problem with me okay. But as time develops I feel this guy competing for fatherhood like it’s even something that should happen. Slowly over time a weekend trip I’d allow our daughter to partake in. On or during my week. Sometimes the whole entirety of my week. DM would be”you wouldn’t want her to miss a trip of a lifetime would you?” Slowly I noticed the remarks and condescending tone how I was “less than” which whatever but then our child started withdrawing more and more. Over 3 years now. She’s now 14, started her first year in high school and won’t even respond to my texts. I filed contempt of court January 2026 and have heard nothing back. Called clerk of court and was told that nothing has developed. Attempted to pickup daughter on Sunday as scheduled in “parenting plan” which cops said wasn’t court ordered. Is that true? Dissolution of marriage with time sharing schedule/parenting plan signed by judge in 2014 isn’t court order? So police wouldn’t do anything, I’m being patient and have been patient. Haven’t heard anything as far as court date (I filed motion for contempt as a last resort after pleading DM and suggesting that it’s not fair or up for debate if I get my week with our child) and this is destroying me! Our daughter is being treated like a tool for emotional leverage it’s just weird. The reason? Honest to God, I have no clue. Several times upon asking daughter “you just don’t change dad” “you never change” I’ve tried in every way to get what it is I need to change because I’m totally open, I’d do anything to be in my child’s life. But it’s BS, the mom used to say exact words to me. Thanks for reading sorry to spill it out here but it’s torture. I’m like grieving the loss of my girl and it’s my fault and idk what I did. Should I bother paying an attorney or the damage already done? I don’t want to force her to come to dads if she doesn’t want to but we’ve ALWAYS ALWAYS had a solid bond. Thanks in advance.

​

I need advice on what others have for their placement schedules. I left my abusive ex this year with my two children 4 and 5. We currently have 50/50 custody and placement with a 2-2-3 schedule that I hate. I would like the days (during the week) to be uniform so that I can have a work schedule that is earlier on days that I have the children and later on days that I do not. This isn't possible when I have the kids Monday Tuesday one week and Wednesday Thursday the next. I also hate that weekends are so long. On his weekends, I drop off my kids at daycare Friday morning and don't see them again until I pick them up Monday evening. If we did consistent days during the week and alternate weekends, we would essentially have a 2-2-5-5 schedule which I do not want. I feel the 3 days are too long as it is. My kids come back extremely dysregulated, throwing things, and punching each other.

What have others done for placement schedule that has worked well?

Pre trial conference coming up in November.

During motion hearing in September. Judge ordered a custody evaluation. Custody evaluation hasn’t started yet.

Has anyone been to a pre trial conference and know how the process is? Will I need to have my full case, exhibits and everything ready?

Thanks

I have had a parenting plan in place since June of 2024. It grants me full legal and physical custody, with biodad being able to have visits based on taking steps to achieve and prove sobriety. I did allow supervised visits when I believed him to be sober off and on from then until June of this year. I began suspecting relapse and cut off visits until taking court ordered steps. I know i might have harmed my case by allowing visits without proof, but it was safe and what i believed to be in be interest of my child. Since then he has had two phone calls with son in July, and no other contact. I did send pictures of son and he responded "you didn't even tell me he was doing soccer." But no attempts to speak to or ask about child.

My husband is willing to adopt child. Child is enthusiastic about this. We are thinking next summer provided biodad does not follow court ordered steps or attempt to make meaningful contact with child.

Important info: child is 8. Stepdad is very active with school, sports, and doctors. Biodad did not show up to custody court, likely either due to drugs or warrants (driving without license, unpaid tickets, etc.)

What issues should I plan for?

Got some advice here a week ago and need advice on how to proceed. My ex has made it impossible for me to see my kids outside of my 1st 3rd and 5th. My 15 y daughter has been getting me to pick her up twice a week from school so we could see each other and my ex has made it nearly impossible. She’s taken me to court and made me look like an angry lunatic and tried to put me on supervised visitations only. She ended up only taking my 2nd and 4th Thursdays and I have to go to anger management courses. Now she’s telling my daughter she can’t talk to me unless she records our conversations through AppClose which my daughter refused to do. It’s getting so bad with my ex leaving them with friends or family while she goes to see her out of state boyfriend or her out of town job and making my daughter go visit her boyfriend with her and refusing to let my daughter see me that my daughter now wants me to have full custody because she know even though I don’t care for her mom or grandparents I’ll never come in between them. I don’t know how to proceed.

How do I file a motion ?

Do I wait until some time has passed and I’ve finished my anger management courses?

Do I need to file a motion to change custody before asking for a in chambers interview with my daughter?

Just to be clear I want 50/50 with first right of refusal on all three of my kids but my daughter is the only one over 12

I am so mentally drained from being attacked verbally. There have been multiple situations where we will agree on something and then I’ll do the research for said topic to get everything in line, I’ll send the research to my kids dad for him to look over and do his own additional research. Instead of it being a conversation I just get accused of making “unilateral decisions” and that I’m always “causing problems” etc.

For example, we talked about counseling for the kids. We agreed they needed it. I hold the health insurance for the kids so I said I’ll do some research and call around to find some options. I did just that, sent him a couple options with their phone numbers, gave my recommendation of who I liked the best, and then gave him the steps needed to get a referral through health insurance. I am not local due to being stationed out of state with the military so ultimately making appointments etc. would be on him. I specifically requested for afternoon appointments so our kids don’t miss school. I sent him all that info. Then proceeded to get accused of making decisions unilaterally and that I need to consider his work schedule too. IM NOT THE ONE MAKING THE APPOINTMENT.

Another example, a huge natural disaster just struck the town they live in. I offered before the storm to come get the kids at no cost to him and bring them back here so they wouldn’t have to be in it, he claims that wasn’t necessary. I didn’t push the issue due to the fact of us not knowing how severe it would be and didn’t want to cause an argument. After said natural disaster, he sustained house damage and had no power. I told him I would book a flight right then to bring the kids back here for the time being so he can focus on the house damage and the kids can be comfortable in their other home with power and their own beds and then I would bring them back when we got work that school would resume. He accused me of using a natural disaster as a “scheme” to get the kids away from him. WTF?? Instead he sent the kids to his sisters 2+ hours away without him.

I’m doing the best I can, I talk to the kids for hours every night. They constantly tell me how much they miss me and wish they were with me and how they’re just ready to be home. It’s breaking my heart. I am actively fighting in court for them to come here with me primarily.

To add, he’s constantly keeping school information from me despite me asking for all information that gets sent home. I missed out on ordering our son’s school pictures because he never sent them to me like I requested. I haven’t even seen them. I almost missed out on sending our daughter a boo gram at school, but I just so happened to see it on Facebook and reached out to him prior to it being due tomorrow!

Does this ever end?! Any suggestions or advice?!

Posting anonymously because I'm looking for advice from anyone familiar with Florida custody and child support agreements.

My ex and I have two children and a court-ordered parenting plan. He recently enrolled our 5-year-old daughter in therapy twice a week at $75 per session without consulting me about the provider, frequency, or cost. I fully support our daughter receiving therapy, but my ex expects me to reimburse him for 50% of the expenses, which would be approximately $300 per month.

I work full-time, make under $19/hour, and am already struggling financially. I've researched more affordable therapy options, including a local organization recommended by our daughter's pediatrician that offers low-cost or potentially free services. My ex is refusing to consider changing providers right now, arguing that doing so would interfere with her therapeutic relationship and violate our agreement.

Here's what I'm confused about:

After reviewing our Final Judgment and Parenting Plan, I cannot find anything stating that we must split medical expenses 50/50.

Our agreement specifically states that mutually agreed-upon extracurricular expenses are divided according to our Child Support Guidelines Worksheet, which lists 61% financial responsibility for him and 39% for me.

However, I cannot find a provision specifying how unreimbursed medical expenses, therapy copays, or other shared expenses are supposed to be divided.

Our agreement does allow either parent to independently consent to mental health treatment, but it doesn't expressly say that one parent can independently choose a provider and financially obligate the other parent to pay half.

My ex has already paid for the first 3 sessions of the therapy copays and is now sending me receipts expecting reimbursement. He has also suggested deducting these expenses from his court-ordered child support payments.

My questions are:

1. If our court order doesn't explicitly require a 50/50 split of medical expenses, can he legally demand that I reimburse him for half?

2. Does the 61/39 financial responsibility percentage on our child support worksheet apply to unreimbursed medical expenses, or is that percentage only relevant where specifically stated?

3. Can one parent independently establish recurring therapy expenses and require the other parent to contribute without consulting them?

4. Can he legally deduct these expenses from court-ordered child support?

I've already contacted my attorney and am waiting for clarification, but I'd appreciate hearing from anyone who has dealt with something similar in Florida.

I am not against therapy. I want my daughter to receive the care she needs. I'm simply trying to understand my actual legal obligations while finding a treatment option I can realistically afford.

I have previous posts on this sub regarding my ex wife and her concerning neglectful/abusive behavior; my daughter has been through a lot with her.

Short recap: A few years ago, my ex wife seemingly lost her mind gradually, leaving my daughter at my place during her parenting time without checking with me first. About the 10th time she did it, my daughter opened up to me that she was being slapped in the face, being called names, having her hair pulled etc. CPS looked me in the face and said "That doesn't rise to the level of abuse." which deeply infuriated me but I know that they're basically useless anyway, which still doesn't justify their reaction.

That situation ended with a modified parenting agreement, changing from weekends to week on week off custody. She somehow still remained custodial parent. Well, here's where I need advice:

Things seemingly calmed for quite some time and I'd naively thought she learned her lesson. However, my daughter (now 16) is, of course, getting older and we'd like her to have a job. She has been applying for work and has had some interviews as well. Apparently, my ex doesn't think she's looking hard or fast enough, and is demanding she apply to one place a day "or else". My daughter did start doing that, but then the problem became that she's just not getting hired fast enough.

The punishment for this? Making her drop her pants to the floor for a spanking at 16, (kinda weird IMO, given her history of defending the man that was grooming her, and punishing her for not explaining to me, her father, why a 30 something year old sending her pictures of ass exercise videos is totally normal) as well as telling her she's not allowed in her own bedroom for a week, and must sleep in the living room on a rug with a sheet and pillow. No mattress, just the sheet and pillow. She's been complaining about not being able to sleep through the night, being tired in school and her back hurting the next morning. If she tries to go to her bed, her mother busts her with the cameras INside the home and she's punished further. She's also been yelling in our daughter's face that she's "useless" and "a dumbass" and "a failure in the making."

She told her school counselor, who made no calls to any agency, and said "She's definitely crossing some lines here and this is not okay, but I doubt CPS would do anything to help you. At most, they might tell her to let you have your bed, and she'd punish you again."

That's the long and short of it. I actually DON'T think CPS would help much, even though they fucking should. It's, at the very least, neglectful. I'll admit, it's a little personal as her mother has already gotten away with so much, and my daughter wants to live with me solely now. Her mom said she could make that choice, but when she called her mom's bluff, the story changed. "You can't REALLY go live with him, what's wrong with you?"

Is. There. ANYTHING. That can be done here? She calls me crying every night now about how she's afraid of mom and I want to help in ANY way I can but I do doubt CPS would protect her.

Does anyone know what I can do here!?

Thanks in advance - a worried father.

[AR] I am the custodial parent currently, never married but other parent is on the birth certificate. We had a no contact order the last two months since I left my ex and now tomorrow it will be lifted. My ex has not filed for custody yet.. if the ex asks to see our son after court tomorrow what should I do? My morals tell me I should allow him to see him in some type of way...however I have not had good luck with the "justice" side of things and even though my ex was manipulative and controlling and hit the walls and doors they were never physically abusive to me so the judges have ruled against me both times I've tried to agrue my case.. should I continue to withhold the child until custody is in place or try to include the ex now?

My ex and I have two kids together. I have primary
Custody he has visitation. When we made the parenting plan he was living 6 hours( a different state) away. When we got in-front of the judge he told them he was trying to move to the city we live in which i guess was a lie as the moment court adjourned, he got in his car and moved back to his home state( 30 hour drive/ other side of the country). The paperwork says he picks up in my community and we meet at a specific location for pick up for his longer stays and all other visitation is in my area.

The current issue is that they are young enough where putting them on a plane by themselves isn’t
A great option although legally allowable. He is asking me to pay for some or fly them here and I’m kind of refusing. He got his child support lessened by saying he was trying to find homeless ( by 300 a month) and the kids aren’t that interested in going.

But I feel shitty for saying no but also I don’t appreciate having to pay 1k to fly them there and back because he decided to move. He hasn’t told the courts he moved and it would cost me about 700 to file for a modification and serve him so I’m not focused on that right now.

What would you do?

My husband’s ex entered a motion we must use a coparenting app for communication, however, she is rarely responding on the app. She is having her attorney email his attorney about simple things even things he’s already messaged about in the app. What can we do so we are continuing to pay attorney fees? I’m to the point of wondering if we should drop our attorney and redirect all emails to the app?

Hello. We currently live in MT and my ex is now saying he may move to Wyoming (it’s about 6 hours away). I haven’t talked to a lawyer yet because I don’t know if he’s serous and I would need to pay a new retainer.

Does anyone have advice on what might happen? She’s almost 4. I would hate to not have her all summer or something since it’s only nice here for a short time…

I’m anxious and just curious what might happen

We have 50/50 shared custody, divorced almost 10 years. My 16yo son does not want to go to Mom's house anymore. To the point of refusing to get out of my car when I drop him off. Tonight it was an hour before he finally went into Mom's. He digs in his heels and refuses.

I told him I understand what he's feeling and what he's trying to do, but this is not the way to do it.

I don't have a preference if he stays with me full time or continues 50/50. Him and his sister would prefer full time with me. After a 5 year battle over medications that my ex launched (that led to zero changes), I don't want anything to do with another legal battle.

What are realistic options?