I’m a FTM approaching my due date, and I’ve decided that I would prefer a planned C-section over attempting a vaginal delivery. I’m curious if there are other women out there who made this decision purely because it was what they wanted, rather than because of a medical necessity.
For some context, my baby is measuring on the larger side, which does play a role in my concerns, but ultimately my preference comes down to wanting a more controlled and predictable birth experience.
The thought of going through hours of labor, potentially experiencing fetal heart rate issues, shoulder dystocia, complications involving the umbilical cord, or ultimately needing an emergency C-section after an exhausting labor genuinely scares me. I understand that these things aren’t guaranteed to happen, but the unpredictability of it all gives me a lot of anxiety.
I’ve also heard so many traumatic vaginal birth stories from women around me. Ironically, almost every woman I’ve personally spoken to who had a scheduled C-section has described it as an overwhelmingly positive experience.
I’m also a registered nurse, so I’m not going into this blindly. I fully understand that a C-section is major abdominal surgery. I’m aware of the risks of infection, hemorrhage, blood clots, longer recovery, and potential complications with future pregnancies. I’m not under the impression that a C-section is risk-free or necessarily the safer option for everyone.
But why does it feel like choosing a C-section simply because I WANT one is so controversial?
I’m honestly getting exhausted by the constant negativity, unsolicited opinions, and disappointment from people when I tell them my decision. It’s almost as though some people believe that unless there’s a medical emergency, I should have to attempt vaginal delivery first.
I completely respect women who want an unmedicated birth, a vaginal delivery, or the full experience of labor. If that’s something meaningful and empowering to you, that’s wonderful! But personally, I don’t feel any desire to experience labor or vaginal childbirth. I don’t feel like I’ll be missing out on anything by having a C-section. My priority is having a healthy baby and feeling as comfortable and confident as possible with how I give birth.
Why is bodily autonomy so widely supported until a woman decides she would prefer a surgical delivery? Why does my decision need to be justified by a medical emergency for people to respect it?
I’m not asking anyone to tell me that C-sections are risk-free or that vaginal births are inherently dangerous. I understand the medical considerations, and this is a decision I’m making with my healthcare team.
I’m just tired of feeling like I have to defend a very personal decision about my own body.
I’d really love to hear from women who elected to have a planned C-section without a medical indication.
● What made you choose it?
● Were you happy with your decision afterward?
● What was your actual surgery and recovery experience like?
● Did you receive judgment from family, friends, or even medical professionals?
● Would you choose an elective C-section again?
I’d especially love to hear positive experiences, but I’m absolutely open to honest experiences and regrets as well. I’m just hoping to hear from women who have actually been in this position rather than another lecture about why I should want a vaginal birth.
Thanks in advance!