Don't you think if one's parents divorce or separate it causes a scar trauma permanent for the children? Why even have children and procreate if the parents can't compromise each other for the sake of the child's future?

I believe the children whose parents stay together until the children become adults become more ahead in life rather than the children whose parents are not. They have a better foundation thus have better advantages in life if they were to chase after their dreams.

Speaking from experience, it's so hurting to hear my parents talk bad about each other. It's not healthy at all; it can cause the child to feel suicidal/depressed.

What do you think is the limit for the child to keep listening to the parents and stay a dutiful child? and keep communicating with them?

How do you guys do it (speaking to the (adult) children of separated or divorced parents)? I'm so genuinely curious.

For context, I’m 22 and my parents divorced when I was 6. Last year, my dad started dating a woman and they have gotten pretty serious, to the point where he now spends basically all of his time with her and I only see him like once every few weeks. At first, I told myself things like “oh well, I’m glad he has someone that makes him happy who he can spend time with” but I have to be honest, it bothers me a little bit.

It might not sound like a big deal or like I’m just being selfish, but my dad has never been the most emotionally available parent. Not saying he’s a bad father; we’ve always been pretty close, but he’s not very supportive and I’ve never really felt like I could talk to him when I’m going through a hard time. I have 2 older brothers and they both went through some hardships and have said the same thing about my dad. He’s not very responsible, reliable, or accountable, and he is kind of narcissistic. His behavior is a large part of why my parents split up. He is also extremely cheap and stingy. He’s an anesthesiologist and makes loads of money but is extremely reluctant to provide any kind of financial support for his kids.

I hate to talk about it because it makes me sound like l am whining, but that’s why it bothers me when he takes his girlfriend on trips, goes to concerts with her, and does all sorts of stuff with her. I’ve always enjoyed doing things with my dad and my brothers together, but we hardly do anything together anymore. One of my brothers and I have tried to bring up the idea of going on a trip together or doing something fun more often, but my dad never follows through and they always end up becoming half baked fantasies that end in disappointment. Then, just last month, he took his girlfriend to New England last minute (somewhere I’ve expressed interest in visiting before) where they drive all over the coast and ate lobster every day. He was gone on that trip during my birthday, and even texted me saying “wish you were with us.” And just the other day he told me that they’re going out of state together to visit my grandmother (my dad’s mom, who is my last remaining grandparent.)

Whenever I do see him, which is usually every 2 or 3 weeks when my brothers and I go to his house to have dinner, it feels awkward. Less like I’m visiting my father and more like I’m going over to a friend’s house or something. I finally texted him about a week and a half ago and asked him if he wanted to get together soon and that I feel like we hardly see each other anymore, and he agreed, but then I never heard from him again with any plans or invites. Sometimes when I go to his house, either he or his girlfriend will ask if I want to come play pickleball with them sometime, to which I always say yes, but then I never hear anything more from him about it.

I just can’t pretend anymore like I’m happy for him, because I know what he is like and how much stress he’s caused my mom, my brothers, and I, then to see him and his girlfriend going all over the place without a care in the world like they’re in their 20s or something, it just rubs me the wrong way.

As for his girlfriend, I have no issues with her. She is always very nice to me and my brothers and wants to talk to us about things we are interested in; she also has kids of her own and seems to be a good mother, but I am not close with her. I know most people will tell me that I just need to accept it or that he has a right to have a significant other and be happy, and I understand that, but I feel like I have a right to be upset over it too. I don’t have a single memory of my parents being happy together and now I feel like I’m being forced to accept him spending all of his time with his new girlfriend, or like he deserves to be “in love” and it makes me feel guilty when I feel bothered by it. I’m sorry if this was all over the place or hard to follow, but my frustrations with him have been building lately and I just needed to get it off my chest.

I have a quick question. I separated from my husband three years ago two years ago he became clean from his addiction and came back home to our two children 11 and 18. He had wrote both children and myself letters, but I was too scared to give them to my children for I did not know what the future held. The 11 year-old girl held so much anger and resentment towards him, and I am wondering if it is time to allow her to read her letter. I honestly believe in my heart that he is passed all of the addictions and lifestyle he had. It has been 24 years of him trying to gain her trust and create a better relationship with her now almost 14 and I truly believe it is wearing on him. Do y’all think the letter would hurt or help their relationship?