recently, my ex of almost 1 year ghosted me without a word. And what hurt the most was that at a point we went through a tough time together, but he started getting the help he needed and he came to me telling me that he wanted to do his best to fix it because he truly loved and cared for me. I thought it was a sign that this really could work. So of course, I felt hope and we “fixed” it between us, or I thought we did. That week I felt so loved, and I prayed hard that if the relationship was meant to flourish, God would help us. Everything felt so right, like maybe things could be better. My ex wasn’t the strongest catholic, and I know I can’t fix anyone, but at times I almost felt like the bridge that guided him back to the faith.

Well, he ghosted me and deleted all his socials. And I feel like it’s killing me slowly. I’m trying every distraction, setting my goals on different things, learning and taking care of myself. I pray harder and go to adoration, I watch and listen and learn more about my faith. And yet, I still find myself searching for him and begging God to bring him back. My brain tells me every reason why he won’t come back, and every voice is telling me that I shouldn’t either, but my heart just wont budge. Its stuck, and there’s a void in me that I can’t seem to fill. I’m growing in every way, and I’m proud of myself, but my heart hates that I couldn’t share it with the boy I loved. I know our relationship was flawed, but I had so much love and trust poured into him. At times it feels like he stole it because I can’t seem to even give a portion of that to anyone from how empty I feel. I pray to God that he’d forgive me for not being able to accept the blessings he’s given to me or yet to gift, because trusting that he has something better planned for me just feels to heavy. And I struggle taking that next step, no matter how hard I try, I yearn for the person that broke me. I want so badly to get out of this mindset, I keep disappointing myself every time I check my phone and wait for him. if you ever went through something similar, what’s the best advice you would give?

Currently at a job that is driving me crazy. Looking for a new one that pays well and the best I could find I janitor. How much of a turn off is that for women?

Trying to find other jobs but it’s tough out there.

Thanks

Almost two years ago we met through this sub, and now we have been married for 4 months!

Guys, don't give up. Ask God to steer your wants toward the things that are in his plan, and you can't miss it! It will happen!!

​

I’m a 29-year-old woman from the Philippines who’s been single for seven years. I’ve always been a bit of a late bloomer when it comes to dating, and honestly, I’ve enjoyed my years of singleness. I’ve had time to grow, focus on myself, and deepen my faith.

Lately, though, I’ve been feeling more open to putting myself out there and meeting someone with whom I can build something meaningful.

As a practicing Catholic, sharing the same faith is important to me. I’d love to meet someone who takes his relationship with God seriously and shares a similar outlook on life and marriage. I’m hoping to find a relationship that develops with intention and has the potential to lead to marriage.

I’m interested in multicultural relationships and naturally attracted to foreign men (Arabs, Mediterranean) which probably makes my dating pool a little more specific than most. 😂

Being from the Philippines, I sometimes wonder where I’d even meet someone who shares both my faith and the qualities I’m looking for. I’m quite introverted and don’t go out much, so meeting new people doesn’t exactly happen naturally for me. I’m open to getting to know like-minded Christians, whether through faith communities, mutual connections, or even online.

I’m not in a rush, and I don’t want to force anything. I just feel like I’m at a point in my life where I’m ready to be more intentional about meeting someone rather than simply hoping it happens someday.

For those of you who are also serious about your faith and dating with the intention of marriage, how have you met like-minded people, especially if you’re naturally introverted or live somewhere where the dating pool is limited?

I’d love to hear your experiences and any advice you might have! 😊

I am a 25 year old man who is a recent convert. I don’t have problems talking to women. Half of my friends are women. The issue is that I can’t meet any catholic women. I work Friday/saturday/Sunday nights, so I can’t attend any of the young adult events in my area, and my parish is mostly older folks. I know theres someone out there for me but I am beginning to believe life circumstances are going to keep me single. What do I do other than continue to pray? I can’t afford to quit my job, and while I go out on my off days, there aren’t any catholic events on those days! I just need some direction. Thank you for your time.

Hello!
My boyfriend and I are wanting to start reading the Bible together (we both read it in our own time, but want to add it to the prayer we do together), and are looking for a good Bible study to follow.
Any suggestions?

I tried writing a long message but Reddit wouldn’t allow it.

So the long story short is I had a relationship recently which lasted all of a few weeks because she accused me of “coercing” and “indoctrinating” her into following my religion.

If by coercion she means I asked nicely if she’d like to come to church with me one Sunday when I was going. And by “indoctrinating” she means I asked simply whether she’d consider looking into the Catholic faith so our relationship would be on the same principles. I suspect she was projecting her troubled relationship with her mother on me and somehow assumed I was trying to force her into seeing my view just because I said I didn’t believe in birth control, but didn’t tell her she wasn’t allowed to use it. I even said that we should wait for marriage to have sex. Apparently that is “coercion.”

I just feel like it’s impossible to find relationships based on God in Australia. Dating apps don’t work. Meetup groups don’t work. So I have to embrace a life of loneliness.

Basically, I’m going to a very traditional youth gathering. A friend of mine who is a seminarian told me that many single people, who have been stuck on the sidelines for a while, use these types of fraternity-organized events to find a partner. It’s a national-level gathering, as it happens.

Anyway, given that it’s hosted by a very traditional community, I expect to be among people who genuinely want to live out their faith, and I, for one, am very keen to meet someone and enter into a relationship.

The ticket and travel costs are quite steep, so it’s hard to imagine going there for any other reason other then to find a partner, please don’t judge me...

So, what should I do? I’m autistic; I’m not necessarily shy, but I’m terrible at flirting. I just can’t grasp the ambiguities, insinuations, and nuances of the traditional "game" of romantic interest. I’ll admit that I tend to get emotionally invested rather quickly, and I’m definitely afraid of wasting any more time.

Please, I could use some advice.

So, this is gonna be a three-birds-one-stone sorta post. I hope I'm not getting too much with these sorts of posts, but I think I'll take any advice I can possibly get. I'll try and be brief. 

24M, still not super experienced with these sorts of things, but doing far better now than I was previously. Haven’t really spoken to the girl I was seeing all that much, which is probably for the best, but I’m getting more and more used to not having her as a part of my life even though she really only was for a brief time. I acknowledge that, more than likely, I won’t really be totally over it for a good while, and probably not till I start seeing other people as it is. But at the very least, I’m not tweaking out super bad or anything. Sucks, but I’ll live.
Which sort of brings me to where I’m at now. I’ve got three questions I want to knock out here, hoping for no judgement because I’m probably not the brightest bulb. 

1. Realistically, how soon is too soon to start seeking someone out when you’re still hurting here or there over the last person you were seeing? I don’t want to rush into something, by no means, but I also don’t want to waste time. Everyone always says “God’s timing,” and I’m not really trying to go against that, but I do believe as the man it’s sort of my job to go and seek these sorts of things out rather than just passively waiting around for an opportunity. So is it more reasonable to wait longer, or should I go ahead and continue a more active search?
2. As sort of a manner of motivation, I want to try and set a goal for myself to ask at least one woman on a date in a month, assuming I don’t otherwise find myself in something more committed with someone. Exposure therapy, and just generally casting as wide a net as I can. I’m not particularly bothered by the idea of the cold approach (after all, six years of being an adult and trying to ask out women that I knew semi-well didn’t work, but then a cold approach otherwise did; that, and that’s how people used to do it far more frequently anyway, so if it worked for them surely eventually it would work for me). Is this an objectively bad idea? 
3. I have recently taken a little bit of an interest in another woman; there is a hospice in the city I live in that I volunteer at somewhat often, and there was a girl working there the time before last that I was there, and I thought she was pretty cute. From talking to her I gathered enough that I think I’d like to try and get to know her more; she goes to the cathedral in the city and is a few years younger than me, and today one of the other caregivers mentioned that the schedules were getting moved around and she was working a lot of later evenings. I would like to try and get another chance to talk to her and shoot my shot, but I don’t know when she goes to Mass; I don’t know if it’d be an awful move to try and ask her out next time I might see her at the hospice, but really I don’t have a concrete time that I can figure out either. Is there a (non-creepy) way to try and see if I could find a time to talk to her, or should I just wait it out and be hopeful? Not really sure how to approach it but I’d like to give it a try. That, and I don’t know if it’d be super weird for a someone who volunteers there to ask her out; personally, if I could help it, I’d like to do so outside of the hospice, as I don’t think I’d deem it the best environment to do something like that. But, like I said, that’s the only place I know her from. 

Hope this isn’t too much. Thanks to y’all who’ve answered my previous posts of me kinda tweaking out. Things will be okay, I think.

Finally got a third date! After a month of endless first dates, a cute Catholic man invited me to this Catholic event as a date / group hangout.

Should I bring my friends since he is bringing his? We are both driving in to DC anyway and tickets are basically free, so it's not bad. He's dressing up as a pirate, but I wanted to be John the Baptist for Halloween 😭 now I feel like I should wear something cute instead.

Anyway, I wish we were hanging out 1-on-1 but I am excited to see how his is around his friends. Wish me luck! Thanks to the redditors who helped me get over my church crush and keep putting myself out there.

Five years ago, I had a very ugly and painful breakup with my boyfriend (we had been together for five years). There were several reasons for it (incompatibility in our outlooks on life, he wasn’t a practicing Catholic, our immaturity since we were in our fresh and early 20's, etc.). And I regretted my attitude sincerely and I regret it to this day. We went “no contact” and went our separate ways. But I continued to pray for him. In the meantime, I went through another relationship, various “canon events,” and eventually remained single for over four years. I pray for the love of my life, for a good man. Just now, as I’m coming to terms with the idea that maybe God really doesn’t have anyone in store for me, I recently ran into him again.

He was the first to say hello to me, and we even chatted a bit... I was pleasantly surprised, because I had expected him to either hate me or ignore me. Since he works where I’d like to work, I asked him if he’d mind if I text to him about it—and he agreed.

However, this encounter hurt me. To some extent, I still have feelings for him, and I’m desperate. It seems like he’s single, but I’m not sure if he’d take me back. And I ask God—what was the point of this encounter? I know that God has everything in His hands and that "all things work together for good for those who love God"… But why would it be good to meet him if I might lose him again anyway?

I want to text to him, but I’m very afraid of rejection… What good is coming out of this situation? Or is this just another station of my own Via Crucis? Where is God in all of this when I'm so hurt and perplexed? It's so hard to trust Him but I know I have no choice, good or bad if I want to follow Him, and to ask Him for a new point of view and a wisdom to discern what to do next.

Hey everyone

I hope this question is appropriate for this, but I have a big fear/worry and maybe some of you can help me with that. Well it’s about sex as Catholics
Well, obviously when we’re married. I don’t know if we’re gonna end up having it at the wedding night or one of the following days.
The thing is: I’m so afraid of how I’ll “perform”. You know what I mean? Like not being good enough. Not pleasing her. Finishing off too early. What to do and when.
How do I prepare for this?

Ngl I’m a bit worried and it may not be the most important question, it is something that’s making me nervous. I just wanna be the best future husband I can be, the best Catholic I can be, the best human I can be.

I don’t wanna do anything wrong. And I don’t wanna get advices etc by ppl that do not understand my Catholic view in all of this.

Can someone help me?

For Catholics who got married to non believers, how did it turn out? We haven’t dwelt much on the topic of how kids will be raised in the future - but I want them raised Catholic.

What advice would you give someone in a situation like mine? We haven’t invested much time yet and still at the beginning.

I’m a 23 year old man. I’m going to be honest. I have a hard time meeting good Catholic girls. I’ve had a couple relationships, but they were not Catholic. I don’t meet a whole lot of girls in general, but the ones that I do, are mostly non-religious.

I know that this has been discussed on this subreddit many times, but where could I meet someone?

There is a girl I’d like to talk to after Mass, but I find it awkward and inappropriate. I also do not like cold approaches. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong?

This is just something that i have noticed, but Jason seems to have softened his tone about dating recently. He used to be really harsh especially to guys, but he's much more compassionate to what zoomers are going through.

Something that I get frustrated with older guys like evert or Christopher west is that they sometimes speak with no compassion for gen z men and women and just expect them to figure it out on they're own.

Trent horn is another one I had an issue with. He did a video about modern dating but didn't mention economic issues.

Hi everyone. I’m just confused and curious as to what this might mean for me and my vocation. I never have experienced sexual desire. I never understood why people found it so hard to wait until marriage because I’ve never been tempted to have sex. I didn’t realize until recently that this isn’t normal.

I do have a boyfriend whom I love. If we get married, I would be willing to have sex for its intended purposes, but as I said, there’s no desire there like people usually describe. I feel kind of guilty for this, because I love him so much, and I know sex is a loving embrace of marriage, yet I don’t desire it the way he does (or most people do).

I’ve considered that I might be called to religious or consecrated life, and I’ve prayed extensively about it, but I’ve never truly felt called to either one.

Can I still get married despite my lack of desire to have sex, as long as I still plan on doing it? I feel broken and like something is wrong with me. I just don’t want it to be unfair to my future husband that I don’t experience sexual desire.

Thank you in advance!

Question for late 30s women, if a guy in his mid to late 20s asked you out, would you say yes? I'm 27m and know several women who are increble Catholics, and given the chance, and if my life situation was more stable, I would ask them out.

I wanted to see what the opinions are on this topic from both sexes specifically catholics looking to date.

The initial idea for this came after discussing this topic with several professional catholic men from the east coast and midwest. We were talking about dating in our late 30s to early 50s subgroup and I was surprised that the majority were not actively dating. Several of them were divorced with only a few having children. Most decided not to pursue dating after divorce and did not even inquire about an annullment. Others (even the bachelors) have tried, been disappointed, and find contentment with their current socialization thru work, hobbies, and family.

Is this a trend that others have noted?

I met a girl at my college and we seemed very similar, and I developed a big crush on her. I only met her two months ago we see each other once a week usually. We aren’t super close but I’ve been getting to know her.

I think she’s single, and I was going to ask her out since I thought she may have been interested in me, but there have been two instances where she knew I was going to be at some activity and didn’t show, including one in which she asked if I was going. So it seems there isn’t interest on her part since I’ve been told that people will make every effort to see and spend time with someone they like.

I’m hesitant to ask her out anyway because I don’t want to make our meetings awkward or cease altogether. But I really thought that maybe she’d be interested and this could be something, and I’m pretty sad since I was very excited about this for a moment.

30M here. So I’ve been having a really rough time with dating because I keep getting the same result every single time and I don’t understand why. It seems like every time that i meet a girl that’s interested she is extremely interested in me, even obsessed to some point, we have a great date or couple of dates, then she leaves out of nowhere. She either ghosts or breaks up with me. Now I’ve wanted marriage more than anything in my entire life. I don’t understand why I keep having these experiences with women that I’m interested in and they are so interested in me then leave so fast. How can everything seem so amazing one moment then she’s gone the next? It’s happened 7 times now. 3 times in a row.

Why am I doomed to an eternity of suffering where I have the most amazing girl dangled in my face just for her to be taken away so quickly? For the rug to be taken from under me every single time? I’m starting to lose hope and quite honestly this is driving me insane. Im starting to lose it and lose all hope that anything will ever work out in dating. I don’t have much trust left to give. I don’t know where to go from here. What have I done to deserve this honestly? I don’t think I’ve done anything so vile and evil to deserve this pain. The pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone ever, not even the women who caused it.

The first couple times maybe there was a lesson I get it, but for it to happen 7 times I just don’t understand. There is no lesson here this is all just punishing me for something and I can’t explain what or why. I don’t understand. Why must I continue to suffer this way? Am I really that bad of a person that I have to be doomed like this? I’ve been praying and discerning about it the entire time every time I’ve dated a woman I included God every single time and yet I still get honestly what feels like I’m being toyed with. I don’t know if I even want marriage anymore. I don’t know if I’ll ever get it because it’s literally the same thing every single time.

What truly is the point of this? Everyone keeps saying “well there’s a lesson to be learned” or “God was protecting you from her.” Sure so every girl that I’ve dated has been the wrong one and I’ve just been wrong every single time? That I’m not worthy to have one woman who’s right for me ever in 30 years? That the only women I’ve ever truly been in a relationship (albeit abusive) with had BPD/NPD or some personality disorder. Those are the only ones I’m worthy of dating? I felt so ready for this I felt it all and I left behind all things that I was holding in to make room for the right girl. I was sound physically spiritually and mentally yet I still wasn’t good enough.

I’m just so frustrated and confused and exhausted and sad and hopeless. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here. My hope has eroded and I don’t know what I have left to give…if I have anything left to give…

Will there ever be an end to this? Will I ever be chosen by one woman? That’s all I’m asking for that’s all I ever wanted was one woman, to be chosen by one woman, and yet I can’t ever be chosen by one. I don’t know how much hope I have left for this to ever change, if it ever will. I’m just doomed to having things seem amazing in the moment and then just crashing down as quickly as they seemed amazing. It feels like I’m cursed.

Why does this have to keep happening to me? I don’t know if God is doing this or someone else but it can’t just be a coincidence that it keeps happening. Truly, will I ever be chosen? Will this ever end?

I am a Catholic woman currently in a serious relationship with a non Catholic and we are discussing marriage and future family life.

​We had a significant conflict regarding the religious upbringing of our future children. My partner insists on delaying baptism until the children are 14 or even 18 years old. He also doesn't want foundational Catholic practices in early childhood, such as making the Sign of the Cross even or receiving sacraments, framing them as "manipulation" or "coercion." He doesn't want to have anything that could make them look Christian is what he said.

​I want to remain faithful to Christ and to my Catholic duty (including the promise to do everything in my power to have our children baptized and raised in the Catholic faith). At the same time, I am struggling with the power dynamic and feeling pressured to suppress my own faith in our future home.

I'm a woman in my mid-20s, confident, fit, and serious about my Catholic faith. After my summer breakup up and dating fast, I have been getting asked out about 3x a month, so finding dates [in general] isn't the problem - CatholicMatch and different Catholic young adult events has been wonderful. However finding a practicing Catholic man who actually wants to pursue me is. Only about 1 in 3 first dates turns into a second.

Some guys tell me I'm "more spiritually mature" than they are, while others seem surprised that I actually take my faith seriously and don't want to kiss a stranger...

Failed Romance

I'm also a bit disappointed because my church crush recently told me I'm too young for him. He's almost 35, fit, funny, nerdy, devoutly Catholic and we genuinely click. We've spent time together one-on-one, and he visibly lights up when he sees me, but the age gap is a hurdle for him. (My friend is like 27 and saw my crush on Hinge though so he is open to dating women in their 20s?). I respect that, even if it stings. I just keep getting mixed signals, he was playfully teasing me around our friends last week, but he saw me looking dolled up over the weekend and kept avoiding eye contact. Idk what's up.

Meanwhile, I've been on a couple of dates this last few months, but only two Catholic guys were consistently pursuing me. They are handsome but I don't yet feel a spark or deep attraction. We have great banter though, so I will see how it goes.

Ironically, there's also a very handsome Protestant guy pursuing me who's exactly my physical type, and we have similar multicultural backgrounds. But I don't want to "flirt to convert," so I've just been inviting him to Mass and church events.

The Dilemma

Here's where I'm genuinely confused: What am I doing wrong?

If I dress cute, some guys seem intimidated. If I dress casually, they treat me like one of the bros. If I wear something form-fitting, suddenly the sexual comments start. It feels like I can't win.

I even tried Hinge for 72 hours before deleting it. Plenty of Catholic matches, but so many made sexual jokes or seemed intimidated that I go to Mass at least twice a week.

I don't think I'm asking for perfection. I just want a chill, fit, devout Catholic man who loves Jesus, Adoration, working out, and spending quality time together Someone who values chastity, has never been married, and doesn't have kids.

I get attention, but I'm struggling to find genuine compatibility. And I don't want to compromise on dating a practicing Catholic just to be in a relationship.

Advice Needed

So, Catholic men, I'm genuinely curious: What makes you decide a woman is worth pursuing after the first date? And Catholic women, where are you meeting men who actually live out their faith?

Because at this point, I feel like finding a guy who loves both Jesus and leg day shouldn't be this difficult. 😭

Hey there catholic brethren been working my way up to doing a matchmaker comment for a while now and was curious how many of you put your dealbreakers in the thread? And what are considered some standard catholic dealbreakers (not catholic or watered down catholic as an example) and then ones that are more controversial (v-cards and long distance etc etc)

I thought about this as I've got two really contentious ones that most catholic dating juries are still out on (no tattoos and no bad relationship with her father) would you put it in or no?

And what are some of your deal breakers in general popular or unpopular?