Day 1000. First time I say it out loud. The first week was the hardest, the second week was boring, and after one month it gets easier. IWNDWYT.

After a very long extensive trip to 3 different hospitals. Im officially off alcohol. Its only been 13 days but it was ruining my life and health. Almost killed my liver. Also being type 1 diabetic, I had ketoacidosis. Was found unconscious several times. My fiance came home from work and I was face down in my own vomit, unconscious and unresponsive. Theres only up to go when you hit rock bottom.

And I mean THIS MINUTE. I’m ready to go to the store and get a pint of Taaka. But right now, my dog is on my lap and I don’t want to move him.
I’ve been struggling for weeks now. But for RIGHT NOW, he’s enough.
Please just remember that - it doesn’t take a bucket list item or some AA crap, sometimes it’s just a dog on your lap that gives you 5 more minutes to get to the next 5 minutes.

Showed up to work drunk after boss told me I shouldn’t come in, caught by higher ups and flushed my best job ever down the drain completely banned from job site, lost a girl who really truly cared in the process, proceeded to drink more and total my car on the interstate 3 months after getting it, went to jail blew like .218 a day later I think, borrowed a thousand for bond, now currently dealing with first DUI case, nearly overdosed on laced cocaine, got in with a bad crowd started hustling to pay rent, almost got stabbed to death fighting on the street, meanwhile taken for a vulnerable fool while I was drunk got my key stolen and motel room was burglarized during the scuffle everything of value stolen, back at moms, all in one months time.

This guilt and shame has been eating me alive I can’t stop replaying these two specific days where I got messed up and ruin everything. I could have killed someone driving drunk like that. I toss and turn for hours thinking about these decisions I’ve made and wake up immediately thinking about the decisions I made. Ever since I was a teenager anytime I’m doing good I bend to the pressures of life and completely self-destruct. I saw so many warning signs, got so many chances this time and I was aware of what was on the line but I failed yet again. I’ve been everywhere alcohol can bring you from county jail many times, self admitted to the psych ward, hospital for seizures, rehab, halfway houses, whole bit but it never clicks and I fumble. Every. Single. Time.

I’m turning 25 soon but this problem has been a mainstay for almost half my life and I’m just simply tired. I can confidently say this is the lowest I have ever been in my entire life and that says alot. I don’t even know how I’m alive right now but I can’t fight the feeling that maybe that guy should have stuck me in the throat like he said he would a few weeks ago or I should have just hit a barrier head on that day. I have a job coming up with good pay but I set myself back so much this time further than ever. Feeling like this is all in vain in the first place because deep down Lord knows I’ll probably end up giving in and doing something like this again down the line like every other time. I can’t remember the last year I didn’t black out and completely turn my life on its head behind those decisions I make during.

I use childhood trauma, stresses of life, and plain everyday inconveniences as an excuse. My family is fed up with this my brother and sister have point blank given up because they feel like they’re talking to a brick wall with me. I can’t even muster the strength to make it through a months worth of meetings or get to know those who offer help to me at NA and AA. I’m tired of being an embarrassment to everyone. I don’t possibly know how to move on from this pain I am exhausted living this life I don’t know what to do I can’t see a way out for the life of me. I hate myself and the way that I am. Thank you for listening I hope the best to anyone who bothered to read.

I know I’m an old story. No need to reply. Just will help to write it out. I’m a 40m. I’m by all means healthy looking. 5’11”, 190lbs. I was 215 early this year. Was 170 late last year and was 230 around October 2024. So I clearly fluctuate I weight.

I know how to be healthy. I know what it takes. But I can’t stop drinking. Sometimes I’ll start as early as 5am and slow role. Other times I’ll wait till 6pm and move quick. But many days I can get close to a half handle of vodka.

Over the past year and a half I’ve started having skin issues. Looks like hives but will go away if I start drinking again.

Many days I see blood in my stool. Bright red, and thought maybe a hemorrhoid or something, but it’s happened for over a year so not likely.

Just thinking I’m quickly dying. I have a 12yr old and 8yr old boy. Good kids. But I’ve failed.

Does anyone have any similar physical experience to drinking like this? Can I recover?

I'm a wrestling nerd so I was a bit excited when I saw the number today 🤣

Went to my first AA meeting yesterday, and got a 24hr chip.

Going to another meeting Thursday night.

Learned a lot, grown a lot, being sick sober sucks.

After about 2 years of very unstable moods and interactions due to his alcoholism I made the very difficult decision to go no contact with my 30 year old alcoholic brother. I have a family of my own now and have littles to take care of and it took so much out of me to have to deal with his drinking episodes.

I wanted to be there for support but he goes on these rants that make zero sense about religion or conspiracy theories etc. He says one thing but does another. He’s at the point where no one can help him unless he helps himself and I can’t do the emotional rollercoaster anymore. Part of me feels guilty because he’s my brother but I just can’t do it anymore.

I love him and want him to get better but he needs to want it too. If I ever see that he is actually trying to get better then of course I’m open to having him in my life again but I just can’t even look at this version of him. It’s extremely sad and he’s unrecognizable. I’d rather keep better memories of him than keep witnessing his worsening everyday.

To the alcoholics on this page that have had family go no contact just know we love you and want nothing than for you to get better and to those on here with family that are alcoholics you are not alone either. It’s very difficult to navigate

8 days sobered after binge drinking for two weeks straight. Before that I was 2 months sobered (from drinking every night up to 12 standard drinks last couple of years) but some personal circumstances changed such as work stress, lost all my savings gambling in one night, about to be a father for the 1st time in my life and then I relapsed. I was off work for the two weeks and had a depression during that time. Now I am gonna try again for myself and my 10 weeks pregnant partner. Anyways thanks for reading and letting me share. Any advice will be appreciated.

Two days ago, I hit my first ever 1 month of sobriety, I feel amazing, no cravings or shakes, I eat properly, no anxiety. Was able to pain the walls of my room, cleaned the carpets and floors. Honestly, quitting was the best choice ever, even if it felt impossible the first few weeks.

Be patient, it really is worth it, the feeling of being healthier, no 5 am need to drink 4 cans of beer just to function through the day.. Here's to even longer!

48th day sober and I feel so relieved that I quit in time to save my health. I really dodged one!!
From 2 liters of white wine per day for 25 years to stone cold sober and HEALTHY!!

I quit at home by myself using a medical withdrawal protocol set out by my GP and I take naltrexone and campral daily now.

A couple of weeks after quitting we found a squamous cell carcinoma on my neck (thanks Australian sun) and my alcohol use triggered my GP to request that I have the full gamut of screening done for my age not just for other cancers but my general health. Bones, liver, blood, bowels, mammogram… the works all with my past alcohol intake in mind. And everything so far has come back clear even my poor liver is OK.

Thank goodness for modern medicine 💊 that got me this far, in time to have a better future!!

Hey everyone hope you’re doing fine. I was just wondering if there was anyone here I could talk to regarding this matter. Don’t really have anyone in my life to discuss it with. But anyone regardless of who you are would want speak to me I’d very much appreciate that. Take care!

My sole reason for waking up was to grab two tall cans of beer or bottle of wine from the corner store. That would be my breakfast. Do nothing until noon while crashing at my ex partner’s couch. He’d take the dog to the dog park on his lunch break and I’d find myself walking to the nearest gas station for a 6 pack behind his back. By the time they’re back, I’m already a can in and again doing nothing. I’d hide the empties all over his studio apartment, take them to recycling when he goes out after work. My only purpose was reaching for the next drink day after day after day.

I knew I was in trouble no doubt. No work, no place to call my own, interlock device in my car and monthly probation visits. I didn’t care about anything as long as the next drink was in my clasp.

When we were together, I consumed 750ml vodka, gin or tequila in two days, hiding them in clothes, under the bed and sink. I couldn’t stop myself from reaching for the bottle.

Life is different now. I seem to have compassion for my old self. From the outside looking in, I’d be deeply saddened by my old life. I cry sometimes for my old self.

I’d want to hug her and tell her you will find a way out.

I’ve posted in here before and obviously my taper didn’t do too well. i’m looking for a female who is a beer drinker for some advice. is anyone out there who can talk to me through this?

Hey. I’m in active addiction. If you are in a stage of recovery it would be triggering for you to read GO AWAY

Ok, chill I’ll talk now. Active addiction me is treated like the fucking boogie man by my family. Before you go projecting, I’ve never been violent, no charges, no screaming matches.

They want to get rid of me. And they don’t even know me. I’m not a senseless bastard. (I know im not two people it’s shorthand). I can be funny. Entertaining, I’ve been told so on the phone by them when they didn’t know I was drinking.

Anyway. I got a new job a few weeks ago. And decided to stay in an apartment I don’t love to have more money and because I don’t want to pack up. I’m on a mini bender rn, haven’t slept much, been drinking, pills sometimes. But I’m not trying to hurt anyone okay?

I’ve been to rehab twice. Hospitalized a few times. On the phone my mom (we’re close) said she couldn’t take another rehab or hospitalization. WELL. Idk what to do, boys. I don’t want to get well, I can’t go to rehab, is the solution a long walk off a… you fill in the blank?

I digress. I’m safe, I’m fine. I’m venting. I just wish I wasn’t either good or a problem. There’s no in between.

28m I’ve been drinking about once or twice a week the past decade of my life but a recent loss earlier this year sent me spiraling. Once or twice a week gradually became every day. In the last month I’ve averaged about 4-5 liters of liquor a week.

I'm in recovery after years of abusing vodka. At my worst I was hiding vodka in my water bottle and taking it everywhere with me. I wasn't even drinking to get drunk anymore. I was drinking to feel normal and keep the withdrawals away.

When I finally tried to stop, the withdrawals were bad enough that I needed outpatient treatment. I've since dropped most of the meds I was prescribed during recovery, but I still take 300mg of gabapentin every evening.

I also moved off-grid into the Colorado mountains. The closest liquor store is an hour and fifteen minutes away. One way.

Turns out a 2.5 hour round trip gives me plenty of time to reconsider my decision to buy alcohol. Funny how putting that much time between yourself and a liquor store can help with impulse control.

It's not a magic fix but that extra barrier has made a real difference. I have to actually plan to drink now instead of giving in to an impulse and stopping at the nearest store.

I've also found that spending time outside helps. Hiking, mushroom hunting, exploring the forest and generally keeping myself occupied. Living remotely has its challenges but I think the change of environment has been good for me.

I'm not going to pretend I've figured out sobriety. I haven't. I take muscimol, which if I'm being honest, has been my biggest crutch of all. It completely killed my cravings. I also consume blue lotus extract, mixed with a glass of wine (just one glass... maybe once a week.)
I'm still trying to figure out the difference between having a healthy coping mechanism and just replacing one dependency with another.

Which brings me to my question.

What's your crutch?

Medication? Exercise? Weed? Video games? Some weird habit that keeps you from reaching for a bottle?

I'm especially curious about people who have managed to significantly cut back rather than quit completely. What actually worked for you? And did you find yourself becoming dependent on something else in the process?

I have a wedding coming up and I’m already nervous. What’s worked for me so far is arriving early, always having a drink in my hand (soda with lime) and leaving once I feel the pull. I’m still working out how to answer why aren’t you drinking?

What do you do and what do you say when someone asks?

Hi everyone.

I’m writing this while I’m tipsy, half way drunk but I just really want to understand how having a sponsor works? I live somewhere where alcohol isn’t allowed and not accepted so I can’t share this with my fam + 85% of my salary goes to that because it’s so expensive. I’m in my 30’s, have no savings, can’t catch up with friends, hang with my family sometimes because I know there’s a bottle waiting for me in my room. It upsets me so bad that I don’t hangout or leave my bedroom, just hearing my family members chatting, laughing breaks me and I don’t know how to fix that because I force myself to drink and I have no fucking idea why. Maybe it’s a way to punish myself? I’ve cancelled so many plans to stay home and drink. I have debts to my alc dealer cuz by the end of the month I’ve spent all my money on that and shit is realllly expensive anyway I’ve missed out on so many things and it upsets me! I tried to stop but it was the worst week of my life. I think there is something seriously wrong with me and I just keep comparing it to my own personal mental health issues. I’m a psychology grad and (leave alcoholism aside, I just want to know if someone relates or even gets my point) so there’s therapy works wonders for people, I’ve tried it with different people, many time it just never works or I end up lying to my psychologist to make them feel better I studied, applied and trained for this and I still think it’s bullshit but it helps so many people! Anyway my point is, that is there really any hope in me getting better and not having alcohol

I just turned 31 and I l

Long story short I promised myself I would never drink. It never seemed good especially since I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father and I saw other people turn incredibly violent and angry when drinking.

Last week I had my first drink. I was feeling alone and I just wanted to relax. I enjoyed the feeling of my body feeling heavy and sedated when I took stuff like benadryl, but after a while that feeling started to fade so I turned to getting my first drink. Just a buzzball one day. It felt nice and I just wanted something that was sweet, so buzzballs seemed good.

Then that turned one buzzball one random day into two buzzballs the next day. Then every other day since last week I've been drinking more and more. Last night instead of drinking two buzzballs I drank an entire bottle of 500ml/13.5% abv wine and an entire buzzball on top of that. Apparently that's 5.5-6 standard US drinks or something? That's what google said. or around 84-88 grams of pure alcohol. I don't really drink so I don't know if it's a lot but it sounds like a lot

I don't know. I thought I'd never be like this but it's like all I look forward to now is just getting absolutely wasted and passing out.

Found this amazing playlist from a meeting that does soundtrack for sobriety and has a lot of really great ones, highly recommended