I (29F) married my husband (30M) less than two months ago, and I’m already feeling incredibly lonely in my marriage.
My husband has ADHD and works a demanding hospital job. He had a major exam shortly after our wedding and has since been doing exhausting on-call shifts, sometimes working 72-hour days with very little sleep. I understand he’s struggling, and I don’t want to dismiss that.

However, I’ve been feeling emotionally neglected for a while. I want him to show interest in my day, ask me questions, remember things I’ve told him and make an effort to spend time with me without me always having to initiate it. I’ve explained this to him multiple times, but I don’t feel like anything changes consistently.

Last week, I told him I was tired of constantly accommodating his needs while feeling like mine weren’t considered. I explained that I felt like I could wither away in front of him and he wouldn’t notice. He responded by explaining how exhausted he was, listing the things he does for me, and saying he felt rejected because I’d been cold towards him. I understand his perspective, but I felt like my actual concerns got lost in the discussion.

Then, during our first cinema outing as a married couple, his sister asked him to move seats because she didn’t want to sit next to a man. He sat away from me. She offered to swap seats so we could sit together, but he said afterwards that I could have swapped seats myself.

I know this might sound trivial, and I don’t blame his sister at all. I just wanted my husband to want to sit beside me without me having to arrange it. It brought up all the feelings I’d already been struggling with, so I went to stay at my mum’s afterwards.
My husband apologised and tried to get me to come home, but I’m emotionally exhausted. Our conversations often involve him defending his actions initially, followed by an apology after a lot of back-and-forth. I don’t know how to trust that things will change when we’ve had similar conversations before.

I love him and believe he loves me. He does have good qualities, and he can be affectionate and considerate. But I feel like I’m constantly trying to understand his world while mine gets overlooked. I’ve also moved to a new town after marriage and am dealing with my own health and work pressures.
Part of me wonders whether we’ve barely had a chance to settle into married life because of his exam and work. Another part of me worries that this is a pattern that was already there before we got married.

AITA for leaving to get some space because I feel emotionally neglected, even though I know my husband is exhausted and under a lot of pressure? Am I expecting too much from him at a difficult time, or is it reasonable to want more emotional consideration from my partner?

me and my girl have been on and off for 3 years (dated for 2) but have been serious recently. her mom invited her to a halloween party where there will be a unrelated guy her age who likes her and tried to get at her. he has lied to me multiple times and is shady and she has lied in the past about him liking her, a bunch of random people i don’t know and aren’t related to her will also be there. i told her i don’t want her to go because last year she lied and said she was going to trick or treat with her sister and instead went to a party. so i said no this year, she said she wants to live her life ect and im controlling and said she’s going. i said we’re done she said are you serious… AITA here or no

AITA:
I 30F caught my husband 36M jacking off while I was at home. To provide context, we have an agreement
that he does not jack off when I am at home. We have had several arguments in the beginning of our relationship because he would choose to masturbate over sex but we have worked through these issues and he has greatly improved. I feel like if I’m at home he can come to me if he needs relief. And I feel hurt if he would choose to do that over being intimate with me so that is why we made that agreement. I have a high so I am always down. We have a healthy sex life over all and I don’t care if he masturbates to porn (we both enjoy lesbian porn from time to time and watch it tougher sometimes). Should also preface he doesn’t have an addiction it’s a normal amount and I don’t believe it affects our intimacy negatively.

Now for the story: Tonight I was making chili for his job’s chili cook off and I finished and came into our room to go to bed. He came out of the bathroom and I saw a giant stain on his boxers and I knew instantly that he had masturbated. I asked him “did you seriously jack off right now while I’m at home making chili for you to take to work?” And he straight looked me in the eyes and said “no it’s just pee I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And I basically pushed back and said I’m not stupid I know and that is why are you lying and he just kept denying it. Then he asked me what time it was and tried changing the subject and I didn’t want to answer so he said hello what time is it? And I said you have a phone you can check the time yourself. And then he asked why I was being rude and I said we had an agreement you wouldn’t do that when I’m at home and he went off saying I’m always home (because I work from home) and that he was horny and stressed and wanted to relieve himself and didn’t feel like having sex. I told him but you agreed you wouldn’t do that and he said that was an unrealistic agreement and I started to cry and that prompted him to start raising his voice because he was upset that I was upset at him for masturbating. I then left the room and went to our guest bedroom but he followed me and continues yelling and saying I’m too controlling and I “police his dick” by telling him to not masturbate when I’m home. I am not always home, I run errands, pick up our kids from school, give him alone time for several hours every other Sunday at least when I go visit my parents. He has time to himself as often as I can give him. He says I’m insecure and just want power of him and it’s his body and he can do whatever he wants to it whenever he wants. He told me he deserves an apology for shaming him, making him upset and angry, and trying to control him. I feel like I was compromising when we made this agreement but am I the asshole?

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for a while. I’ve always been her biggest supporter, especially recently when she transitioned into a new career as a financial advisor. She started from scratch, had to study hard, and passed her licensing exams, and I was right by her side cheering her on the whole way.
Recently, I was offered a role with PNC Bank, but the offer was ultimately withdrawn because of an integrity issue—I lied on the application. I own that mistake, but since it happened, my girlfriend has been freaking out. Honestly, she is acting arguably more sad and stressed about it than I am.
When I asked her about it, she admitted she’s deeply worried about our future income stability. For context, my current job is part-time, and I am actively looking for full-time work every single day. Despite that, she is still overwhelmed with anxiety and sadness.
I tried to talk to her and remind her that I’ve always supported her through her ups and downs, even bringing up how I supported her through her career transition. But none of that seemed to matter to her.
Frustrated, I finally told her that I wouldn’t be able to be her cheerleader if she isn’t mine, and that it feels like she doesn’t believe in me at all. Now things are even more tense.
I feel like she’s kicking me while I’m down and lacking faith in my ability to bounce back and find something else, whereas I was nothing but supportive when she was building her career.
So, Reddit, AITA?

I 26F met my now ex 33M just before I turned 18 and aside from physical attraction I never felt anything for him but I thought that was relatively normal because I've never really had feelings for anyone aside from childhood crushes.

We began casually seeing each other and despite being on contraception I fell pregnant immediately, the relationship itself was tolerable, ex was gone most of the time drinking with friends so he didn't bother me much and the baby was easy a literal angel of a child, I found being an unmarried young mother embarrassing so I told my ex that he had a year to marry me or lose me and he chose to marry me, the wedding day itself was a disaster children running literal circles around me during the ceremony the whole day felt like a mistake, anyway over the last 5 years as my now ex's lifestyle settled down he was home more and more and our differences became hard to ignore and he became "playfully" aggressive always hurting me supposedly by accident especially during bedroom activities I mostly brushed over these situations because they didn't seem worth uprooting my child's life for, however it did dissolve any affection I had for my now ex then over Christmas last year my ex had called our child a "little stupid b*tch" so I told him I wanted a divorce he's spent the last year fighting me on this and telling anyone that will listen that I'm a lying demon and he doesn't know what happened to his "angel" (me) our friends and family are for the most part believing him because they find it strange that I haven't been upset or distressed and he's been a mess, which has lead to me explain that I don't think I ever loved him so it's not really painful to walk away from and now I keep hearing from everyone how much I suck for marrying someone I didn't love and they also feel betrayed because I never told anyone how I really felt

I need help quick! I’m kinda getting a little bit pissed, I (18F) and my (22M) boyfriend have been dating for over 3 months now and for the most part everything is going really good! A few months ago he went silent, didn’t text/call me for like 40hrs, as I am still young and kinda stupid I start calling and texting him over and over again, and when he finally answered he said “ I don’t have an excuse, I turned off my phone and I’m sorry for scaring you. I love you” that was fine, obviously I was still mad but it was whatever, after that I told him I don’t care what you do just communicate with me, you don’t have to text me for the whole day, just let me know that your fine before disappearing. He said that it would never happen again, and where I am waiting like a fucking dog for this man to text me, it’s been close to 24hrs and I’m worried about him, he promised that he would text me if he ever planned on going in dnd for a day. He has yet to text me, I thought he maybe just slept in a lot because we were on call till 3am but I have yet to hear from this man. So would I be a total asshole if I broke up with him? I don’t wanna be in a relationship where a boundary that I set is being broken, all I asked for was a simple text and he can’t even do that!

Im just feeling a little lost and would like some advice from someone who is a little bit older and had a fully developed brain lol

Hiiiii, I have a friend X and a friend Y. Actually in the very beginning I was friends with X and later X befriended Y but me and Y were not friends then. Later due another one event three of us began talking and formed a trio for studies and that trio eventually lost its original purpose of studies and we all became buddies. I thought however made it clear that I won't be joining the both of them for self studies as we GHANTA study broo. Both of them were a lil upset but gladly understood my side and our trio remained as a friends trio cutting of the study part. However both of them began hanging out ( there were just casually hanging out not for studies as they confirmed it )more and more often without even asking me and that used to really hurt me. Now I did not used to say anything over this but over time Y noticed this and talked to me about being left out and all. We and Y became really good friends she would genuinely care about me unlike X. Now X would many times knowingly leave me out and would not give a singular fuck about me even tho I always cared about her. Eventually I stopped caring about X and we were just together for Y. In recent times X's relationship got exposed at her house and it was a mess as you all know how Indian parents react when their kids are in relationship. However the first day she tried to blame us and next two days we did not talk to her and neither did she. On the third day X just tried to talk things out with Y BUT NOT ME and they had a truce or whatever but since the next day they again were not talking and that is because X was avoiding Y all along for weeks she even ignored U on her birthday and did even wish her. Now throughout these weeks me and Y grew closer into best friends and yesterday after fucking WEEKS X talked things out with Y and they both have decided to be friends again. I told Y that if she is friends with X; I would not be her friend, as X was and is my opps. She is saying that all along how X behaved with we not not right but she cannot leave this friendship.

I would like to explain the dynamics in detail. I feel that what I'm asking is not wrong because there are fucking instancES where X has done we terribly wrong and I was with Y when X wasn't so I do not feel evil for offering an ultimatum to Y. I would like to here opinions of yall over this. Sorry for the long text ( yet I have left out details lol)but this is a serious matter to me.

So my [45M] wife Amanda [43F] and I have been married for 18 years. Thankfully I made a number of wise financial decisions 10 years ago that has allowed us to live work-free (until things started getting tight recently when I did return to my old profession), which also unfortunately was the worst thing for our marriage. We moved half way across the country, and with no real roots here we found living on top of each other all the time put a strain on our marriage.

We decided for the sake of the kids (who are now in their 20s and still living under our roof) to stay together and make happy family work by opening up our relationship. And we agreed to one rule; we keep it discreet. We don't bring partner back to the house, and away from each other and the kids. And it's worked fine for almost a decade until the other day.

I return home from a work errand much earlier than expected while my wife is out at tennis lessons to find an unfamiliar car in my driveway. I wearily go inside calling out to no response. I open up my bedroom door to find my wife... With the guy from the tennis club.

Look, I've dealt with anger over the years with therapy, which had worked until now. All my wife tells me to do is "just leave" my own house. When he has the balls to tell me they "had an arrangement" I lose my mind at this guy telling him to get the hell out and made sure to follow. I must've frightened him because he left by running and climbing down the balcony. So much so that my new work friend arriving for a beer saw him running down the street when he arrived.

Now my wife tells me it's my fault for coming home early and that this should have just been an ignorance is bliss situation. She thinks now that our kids are adults our "not in the house" rule is BS, and that the so called hypocritical rule is keeping her confined. And look I don't care who she sleeps with. But our house is our house, and I made a lot of sacrifices (including abruptly cutting off my long-term best friend and business partner) to make sure our family got a normal life. Considering we both grew up poor and struggling, I thought it was a shared ideal.

I never bring the women I sleep with back here, ever! And the rule was our rule for the sake of keeping up normal appearances to everyone else, while we did what we had to for ourselves to keep the marriage alive. I don't want our neighbours, our friends, our kids or anyone else seeing our affairs walking straight into the house. Considering the circumstances I don't think I overreacted. I forget a thousand things every day, but this isn't one of them.

My husband and I have been going through a very rough patch in our marriage. We have been together for nearly 20 years. About five months ago he met up with a former coworker while he was away for a conference. He wasn't going to tell me they were meeting up, which I told him made me uncomfortable. I have no problem with opposite sex friends, my best friend is male, but I thought it was odd he hid the dinner and made it clear my issue was the secrecy not the friendship.

A few months ago I found out he has reached out to this coworker several times, including messages that I found rather intimate. He noticed she had a rash on her had (weird I know) and was making comments and suggestions on what to do to resolve it.He also told her he should have walked her to her car, which I also thought was odd. She doesn't answer this or any of his subsequent texts. I have repeatedly said this contact seems too friendly and I would appreciate a bit more transparency. He did show me these messages after I asked because he was hurt she wasn't answering. My response was he is clearly overwhelming her and he should let her reach out and to please be mindful of keeping things professional.

About three months ago he tells me he wrote her some long heartfelt apology for bothering her. I asked to read it and he outright refused. He said it was private and I had no right. I expressed how uncomfortable this was all making me and he basically said his privacy is worth more than my comfort. We have an open phone policy, which I have never used, and I didn't check at the time.

Recently, he brought up reaching out to her again because his company has a job opening. The role is in a different city and lower than what she's doing now so I told him that made no sense and that she needs space. For some reason lately I've had a bad feeling about the situation and I did search his phone. He reached out to her again right after that conversation. He told her he's been periodically crying since their last meeting thinking about her and said that I am essentially unsupportive. He also deleted from his sent box the email he sent previously to her that he wouldn't let me read.

Today I asked if he reached out to her recently since he had talked about it.He point blank lied and said no.I asked if he emailed her. No. I said I really want to see your sent box because I'm not sure I believe you, which I have never asked before. I was genuinely shocked he was lying and wanted to see how far he was taking this. He deleted it from his sent box before he sent the screenshot to me. I called him out and told him I knew he sent it, and couldn't believe he would go to that length to hide things. He claims I am in the wrong for searching his email and that my jealousy is too much. That he would never do that so I shouldn't have. From my perspective I am not jealous, I am being lied to constantly so it made me feel suspicious. So AITA for searching his email?

I (16F) and him (22M) had started dating (we'd been friends for two years, met on social media)

I (now 20) was in a relationship with him for several years; he’s my ex now, but I still feel guilty, telling myself that it could have worked out and that leaving him was just a way to run away, that maybe I could have tried harder.

I don’t like having my boobs touched outside of sex (we had sex less often than at the beginning because it frustrated him when I didn’t climax, and he felt like a failure if I didn’t, even though I told him it wasn’t a big deal and that we could use toys). However, he would often, while we were cuddling, grab my boobs, which made me very uncomfortable. I’d tell him to stop, and then he’d get upset and pull away, or he’d start again right away, pushing my hand off my boobs to put his own there. Sometimes, when I was at my desk, he’d come up behind me and just grab my boobs without warning. He explained that it was just his way of showing me affection, but I don’t like it.

I moved in with him when I was 18, and I left to go to college when I was 19, breaking up with him at the same time. That wasn’t the only problem, but I feel like that’s what pushed me to want to live alone.

I feel like I’m overreacting, that it wasn’t that big of a deal. He’s still mad at me and tried to kill himself three months after we broke up, right before I started college. I blocked him everywhere except for one chat channel, just in case he really needed me and just in case he decides to hold a grudge against me and share the nudes of me that he refuses to delete.

When things were going well sexually, he was really sweet and attentive, but I feel like as I gained weight (I’m 5'5" and weighed 145 lbs at the start of the relationship, and 165 by the end), he started acting unpleasant and putting in less effort.

I tell myself that if I had lost weight and let him touch my boobs innocently, as he said, I might still be with him and he would have been nice to me when i needed him the most.

AITA for breaking up with him ?

so a little background me (18F) and my boyfriend (21M) where together for a year. When we first got together a firework exploded in his hand and he lost a finger and a half on his left hand. His parents kicked him out 2 motions later (his childhood was really abusive and awful) and I was the only one helping him trough everything.
He was betting me up a lot he was calling me a whore and he was really hurtful and was texting other girls trough out the whole relationship (He even cheated a few times). I cooked, cleaned and helped him financially all the time. 4 moths ago he became homeless bc he couldn’t afford the apartment anymore and he was sleeping all around but he is now sleeping at a hostel for the last 2moths (all of his belongings where at my place bc he was here all day everyday) and i cooked him every meal of the day, washed his clothes and helped him all i cloud. He is not working and he was out partying every weekend while i was at home crying bc i have no friends bc he completely isolated me. And today i chose myself and cut him off. But that also means he wont be able to eat anymore. I feel like i let him down like everyone else in his life but i just couldn’t take it anymore. Was that selfish? Am I the a hole?

(hi, i want to apologize in advance for mistakes in grammar and wrong spelling im still learning english since its is't my first language)

I (18 F) have two best friends, Patrik (19 M) and Emma (18 F) . Me and Emma liked Patrik at the same time but i liked him for two years and she only for few months . I started talking to Patrik about a year ago and it was great he was a good listener, was really funny and just had great tip and was fun to be around . I got his number trough a friend and i think it was thw best desicion because now hes my homeboy , we hang out every weekend ,text every day , talk in school and stuff i dont like him anymore atleast tath is what i think. Emma liked him in the begining than they stopped texting and she hated him from the bottom of her heart but now she has a massive crush on him but Patrik told me he doesnt like her that he likes one other girl but he cant twll me yet . Now back to the friend i got his number from her name is tamara and she is his classmate, she one saw him texting his other friends tath he likes me but is't sure if he should tell me and tath he might try to kiss me this weekend on halloween beacuse were having a sleepover. I told emma about the sleepover and she was PISSED i dont know if she is that obsessed or what but she went wild she blocked me everywhere and when i tried to talk to her she would just scream in my face tath im a bitch and i dont folow her rules . About a like 2 days later she unblocked me and she started alologizing and i was like "wtf girl u okay?" And she just explined her rules agin wich were = no texting with patrik, no going out with him, keeping distance from him and trying to get him to like her . I stared at her like girl no way im gonna do tath he is my best friend like hell no !? Also patrik has been texting me tath he misses me and stuff and idk its just weird but i feel like im catching feelings for him and i just feel like its wrong because he is my best friend . Also he has been comenting on my instagram stories and photos of me like those emojis with hearts and like water droplets and those hot emojis and idk its just hella weird . And ofcourse emma saw tath he was commenting tath and tried to convince me to stop posting selfies on instagram . But also patrik started to call me these names like bubi or like lasik (love in slovak language) or like tath and it was normal because i allways called him tath and it was just fun but now it doest feel like just fun. Also he gets realy protective when i wear tank tops or short shorts or if i get too close to a guy. And he got a little touchy like he plays with my hair or grabs me by my waist and stuff. Btw this might seem like he is a red flag but he doesnt realy do it often tath is like one or two time things tath i noticed. But overall hes really sweet and cute he is like golden retriver and idk hes just a great guy but if he confesses his feelings i dont want to say no and hurt him because he is really warm hearthed and takes things personaly every time but also i want to say yes but im scared emma will be a bitch and just ruin everything or like tell my secrets to everyone. Like idk guys i'll give u an update on sunday if u have any suggestions pleas comment it would really help to know others perespective and again sorry for mistakes and misspeling love you all.

So the breakup was low-key my fault because he’s told me that he wanted to break up with her and I told two other people asking for advice because like what am I supposed to do in that scenario but anyway, another girl overheard told his girlfriend that I was talking about what I was talking about and in the girl got mad and broke up with him eventually, they had a super toxic relationship, but now he’s like not talking to me as much, which is fair and I get because I did cause his break up but like we’re besties and like I may have feelings for only like a lot of feelings and he said he did for me too, and I really like I love him more than words can say as a friend

Context, my husband (24m) and I (23f) have been together since we were 15yr, and shared most finances/lived together for the past 6yrs. He recently decided (June 2026) he was going to enlist as active duty, to give us a better future. I wasn’t fully on board but he wasn’t happy in our current situation and had brought this up years ago, and I finally decided that I have no right to stop him from pursing this if it’s what he really wants.

We got married in August (more rushed than I would have liked because he was leaving) and I told him we could do as much fun stuff as possible until he left, even though we had been struggling financially, because I am very tight with money usually and watch every dollar spend and avoid letting debt hang around at all costs. I knew I would be putting a lot of it on cards, but planned to pay it off between both incomes and since he wouldn’t be using “fun money” until about June of 2027. I was aware of this and made him aware of my every move financially.

After he left at the beginning of October, I learned that he was a month behind on his car payment, and had to set up a payment plan for utilities at some point. I handled this and moved on. Next I learned he spent all his savings (our wedding gift money) on bullshit without telling me. Okay, whatever, I’ll fix it, I moved on. Well today I learned he didn’t tell me about a credit card that was over the limit (idk how far over, I don’t have access to the account, the card number, or any info besides the dollar amount. Which is barely shy of $4k).

WIBTA for telling him when he comes home for Christmas that we are selling his car to save money so I can fix this and that he won’t be allowed to handle any of the finances in the future? He said he was worried if we got a joint account we would fight over finances, I said we wouldn’t because I’m not going to be controlling, but that was before I knew about all this going on behind the scenes and him not telling me, but letting me learn it all on my own while he’s practically unreachable has made me lose basically all trust in him setting up a secure future for us.

(WlW) At first, she said she gave it to me and that she didn’t need it anymore. Then tonight I was talking about how I would sew the patches on and she started freaking out about not ironing them on in case she needed the costume. She’s had it stored for 4 years and it didn’t seem important to her. now when I told her I cut the hood off before she told me this, because honestly ,when I give old stuff, idgaf what people do with it so I thought it was the same with others. But now she says she’s mad and makes a big deal out of it? I am a bit confused. I’ve had a very harsh day and didn’t think of it and didn’t need this situation to happen

Me and my boyfriend broke up recently for four days and it was extremely painful for the both of us. The main reason I broke up with him was because he had a pattern of saying mean and passive aggressive things to me and immediately denying he said them or was upset. He also had a pattern of acting cold towards me and upset, but denying he was upset leaving me wondering for hours what I did wrong and not finding out until I was sobbing begging for him to tell me what I did. Lots of gaslighting. In the past he also had a pattern of accusing me of cheating, but he stopped accusing me for a few months before it ended, but lingering feelings based on that (since he accused me for well over a year) also contributed.

It was extremely painful being apart and he emailed me taking accountability and saying he understands. We decided to give it another shot because we love each other very much.

It’s been a bit over a week and he has been apologizing and trying to make things right. The reason I left was because his gaslighting was causing me so much distress I was scared so I had to protect myself. But ever since we got back together, there was one phone call where he cried on the phone to me about how or why I did what I did (break up) and I felt defensive because I really did it to protect myself, and I felt he needed to make it up to me, not the other way around. But I felt so horrible.

But yesterday something worse happened. He told me that his sister told him to “be mindful” getting back with me, because on our break I could’ve gotten with someone else, or used the break to try out someone knew and start dating someone else. He said he googled it and said “it’s common” to use a break to flirt and try out someone new. This enraged me, and I got really upset. He really defended his right to ask this of me. But it hurt to be seen like that, since it was only 4 days and it had nothing to do with the real reason we broke up. He was upset that I was upset. So I felt guilty for being upset. If that makes sense. But he said his sister also said that he needs help from the way he treated me, I don’t really blame her but I am upset that he basically asked me for reassurance on that. Maybe I’m a cold person, but I just feel like I keep having to reassure and apologize when I was the one who was hitting my head from his gaslighting and emotional highs and lows and meanness.

This is especially concerning because we’ve been together 2.5 years and in the past, he used to accuse me of cheating constantly. And he did stop for about 5-6 months which is great. But the fact that he pushed this idea that maybe I used this break to “try out a new guy and talk to him” (yes, those are the words he used) makes me think he hasn’t gotten over this paranoia about me. It was really hurtful and even though he apologized, I am not sure how to move on from it.

I feel completely depleted and broken. When I wasn’t with him I was sure I had made a huge mistake because I missed him so much and am in such love with him. But now after all this, I feel exhausted and almost… nauseous? Idk.

Am I not taking accountability and am I not caring for my partner as I should? Is this paranoia creeping back? A red flag? Or simply emotional immaturity?

I, 35 female, have been with my partner 38 male for almost a year and a half. When we first started dating, I was open and honest about my health and my condition. I explained that this disease is not curable and that we have to use condoms to prevent spreading it. He was understanding but about 6 months in he decided to stop using condoms and said that he was willing to take the risk. I let him know the symptoms that I get and how often and how its not something to live with because it can be uncomfortable and painful. He stated that I was his girlfriend and he didnt feel the need to use protection with me. That's just it though. I am only his girlfriend and not his wife. I told him when the day comes he would regret that decision, especially because know relationship is guaranteed to last. Looking back, I'm started to feel like, in a weird way, he used this to trap me to stay with him. Fast forward a year and half later he is complaining of being uncomfortable in his private area and asked me to get him antibiotics. I told him that antibiotics aren't going to help and that he needs to see a doctor to get the proper medication. While I feel that I did everything right, he still blames me. He says I shouldve gotten away from him and that he wishes that he never slept with me. Mind you, I have a very low sex drive so all of the intiating was done by him. I told him that I did feel guilty but that I also warned him and begged him to protect himself because I didn't want that weight on my shoulders. Now he says he regrets that decision. He's saying I got him sick and asked if I have any other diseases that he should know about since I've slept with so many different men (not true). I still feel guilty because I should've stayed away from someone that could be so irresponsible and care less about their health. Am I the asshole?

I have been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and he has gotten me flowers twice. I dont care for flowers all the time but sometimes it’s nice to be thought of in that way as he also isn’t much of a date planner or a gift giver. I brought this up to him about a month ago and he got mad at me accusing me of saying he’s a bad boyfriend because he doesn’t get me flowers, him saying that made me feel bad and I kinda brushed it off thinking that he was right and that flowers aren’t that big of a deal. Today as we were in the grocery store we passed by some flowers and I said “I wish someone would get me flowers” he stopped and looked at me and said “really”. We haven’t spoken since because now it’s not just about the flowers but about him just thinking of me and being nice yk? Before you ask if I ever do anything for him I do. I planned a date last week where we went to watch his favourite hockey team, payed for tickets and transportation. I have given him his favourite players jersey and have also made an effort for date nights. Please help with advice.

(got deleted from AITA within like 15 mins. Reposting here for more opinions) First reddit post kinda nervous. but anyways this happened about a year ago, towards the end of senior year in highschool. was talking to this guy for a while and we made plans to spend this senior event TOGETHER. I drove us there and everything. As soon as we get to the first location, which was a waterpark, the moment we step through the gates, he sees his friends and practically teleports to them. Mind you, this is while I was trying to talk to him to figure out what color necklaces we'd wear cause I wanted to match. As the dust cloud he left behind cleared up I decided I didnt wanna match him lol. He ends up spending the entire time with his friends AND leaving with his friends to go somewhere else. He asked me if it was ok, and me not being his girlfriend, said sure. Had he read the room he would know he shouldn't have left me there by myself because once again, we planned to be at the events TOGETHER. At around closing time, not having heard from him, I end up driving to the second location which was back at the school to watch the sunset and do activities and whatnot. Still havent heard from him at this point. To pass some time i start doing some arts and crafts and i actually ended up seeing him. He was right behind me. We practically looked each other in the face but later on he claimed he didnt see me which tells me he either saw me and pretended not to or he wasn't even looking for me in the first place. Some time passes and an old classmate i had a tiny crush on came and sat next to me. We chatted for a bit, walked around, and eventually decided to "blow this popsicle stand" lol. As we're leaving together i end up passing the guy i was SUPPOSED to be with. Obviously he wasnt happy to see me getting in the car with another guy and driving away but my rebuttal is he did it to himself. I told him that wouldve never happened if he was with me like we had planned but instead chose to be with your friends the whole time. He claimed he tried calling me a bunch but i didn't answer cause I took him off my emergency bypass and turned on dnd
cause i assumed nobody important would be calling me. Fast forward some more and i actually end up at his house a few times, in his bed, with some light cuddling. He only knows cause i sent him snaps and i had no reason to lie. When he found out he actually made me promise that i wouldnt do anything freaky with him. I regret agreeing to that foolishness. He now refers to me as a cheater even tho we weren't dating and the cause of said cheating was due to his own selfish actions. Also, he still keeps in contact with his ex. :)

I’ll call my best friend Maya and her brother Ethan.
I’ve had a crush on Ethan since freshman year. Over spring break, he told me he was serious about me and had wanted me for a while. I felt the same, and we started talking/flirting.
Maya was completely against it. She told me I was basically “not allowed” to date her brother and would be furious if we continued. Eventually she confronted me, and I promised I wouldn’t talk to Ethan “whatsoever.” I knew that was a serious promise.
I broke it, but the situation became extremely secretive on both sides. Ethan would genuinely freak-text me while I was literally sleeping over at his house with Maya. He would find moments when she wasn’t looking to talk to me, flirt with me, or try to get me alone.
We also went on a family vacation together, and Ethan was aggressively pursuing me the entire time. Whenever Maya wasn’t looking or we had a moment alone, he would try something—flirt with me, get physically close, or try to get me to sneak away with him. He was clearly trying very hard to get me back, even though he knew Maya was against us.
There was also something I didn’t know at first: Maya was logged into Ethan’s social media accounts and reading our private messages without me knowing. I knew she sometimes had access to his accounts, but I didn’t realize she was actually monitoring our conversations.
Eventually, Ethan and I were at a party hosted by him and Maya. We talked throughout the night, went upstairs together, and hooked up. I was worried Maya would find out and told Ethan not to tell her.
When she eventually found out, she was furious. She called me a bunch of names and told me I had “no self-respect.” Our friendship became extremely strained.
What makes this complicated is that Maya had previously had sex with Ethan’s best friend. I’m not saying that means she had to approve of me and Ethan, but it made me question why I was being treated as though I had crossed some uniquely unacceptable line.
Months later, I was talking to another guy and Ethan found out. He essentially told me, “End it and come back to me.” We started talking again, and the feelings came back.
I know I’m not innocent. I promised Maya I would stop talking to Ethan and knowingly participated in keeping things secret. I also eventually hooked up with him knowing exactly how strongly she felt.
But Ethan was not some guy I was secretly chasing while he wanted nothing to do with me. He repeatedly pursued me, even in situations where Maya was right there.
So, AITA for continuing to talk to and eventually hook up with Ethan after promising Maya I wouldn’t, even though he was aggressively pursuing me and we were both actively trying to keep it from Maya?
Was I wrong for pursuing Ethan at all, or is Maya crossing a line by trying to decide who her brother can be with?

I (33 M) decided to break up with my girlfriend (30 F) a few months ago. Our relationship was wonderful from the start, and we never had any problems. I had a pretty well paying job and wanted to spoil her, which i did for a while, but then i decided to quit my job to pursue music and blew through my savings pretty quickly. She was unaware of my financial situation.

We went to Japan together earlier this year, and my girlfriend ended up getting sick for 5 days. It really put a damper on the trip, and i ended up telling her it was unsustainable for me to be the one taking care of her. I also told her I didn’t feel supported by her, and then she asked me how she could better support me, which is something I shouldn’t have to explain. She started getting more anxious and confused, which was beginning to push me away.

Her job is working in a pottery studio, she manages and teaches classes as well as selling her work separately. She worked hard to get there and loves her job but I think she could do better things if she was just more ambitious with her art.

We were also supposed to move in together this year, although I didn’t think we were ready. I had talked to my friends about not being ready, but didn’t tell her I wasn’t ready until 3 months before we were supposed to move in together. This made her upset and she claimed to feel deceived and feel like a fool for telling all of her friends and family that we were moving in together, and I should’ve told her sooner.

So I decided we weren’t meant for each other. I didn’t know how to tell her, so I acted like everything was fine. Telling her I loved her, how she was the love of my life, planning trips together. And one morning I just couldn’t anymore. I broke up with her, she didn’t see it coming, and she was devastated. But I just couldn’t be around her or talk to her, so I cut off contact.

She spiraled pretty badly afterwards, she apparently had to be hospitalized a few days after the breakup from severe dehydration because she “couldn’t eat or drink without throwing up”. I think her response is a bit dramatic and immature. She even had the audacity to ask for her pottery back.

She also continued hanging out with my friends and making me seem like the bad guy. They would invite her to the things, and I couldn’t believe she had the audacity to say yes and shit talk me the whole time. And my friends are even believing her. I feel so disrespected that my friends would even entertain her.

So Reddit, am I the asshole for how I handled the breakup?

AITA for finally drawing the line after years of my husband putting everyone else before his family?
I (26F) have been with my husband (31M), who I’ll call Ted for privacy, for almost seven years. We’ve been married six and have four kids, all under six. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for years. I’ve raised our kids, taken care of our home, and spent so much of our marriage practically begging my husband to put the same effort into us that he puts into everyone else.

Ted is in the military. Recently, he volunteered to organize a baby shower for a male coworker he’s known for about THREE MONTHS and the coworker’s pregnant wife. He’s planning it on his own time and holding it at work. He even told me, “I don’t even think this guy knows what I’m doing.” So no, this isn’t just collecting gifts for his buddy to take home. He’s actually arranging for the wife to come to his workplace for a baby shower that HE is organizing. And here’s why that hurts so much. I’ve had FOUR pregnancies with this man. Not once did he plan a baby shower, make a registry, or even ask if I wanted one. Not once. He’s also always kept his work life completely separate from me. When I’ve offered to bring him things at work, his response is usually something like, “Why? Well, I guess if you want to.” I’ve never felt particularly welcome there. Yet here he is going out of his way to make another man’s wife feel special at the same workplace.
I have absolutely nothing against this woman. I hope she has a wonderful baby shower. But I’m so tired of watching my husband bend over backwards for other people while his own wife and kids get whatever effort he has left. When I told him I wasn’t comfortable with HIM organizing it, he said, “So you’re gonna punish another family because I didn’t do the correct thing back then?” He also told me that if he goes through with it, it hurts me, but if he backs out, it hurts him because he’s disappointing his friend.

So what exactly am I supposed to do with that? Why am I always expected to be the one who just deals with being hurt? He initially refused to back out. I told him I was considering contacting his commander and explaining the situation myself. Suddenly he called back saying, “Okay, fine, I’ll do your little test.”
And THAT is what I’m so sick of. Every time I tell this man something makes me uncomfortable, he calls it a test of our relationship. When I tell him I’m done or that I’m thinking about leaving, he talks over me. I can’t even explain how I feel without the conversation somehow turning into what I’m doing wrong. And trust has already been a huge issue. About a week before this argument, Ted told me he was working a 24-hour shift with this same male coworker. I later found out he was actually working with a female coworker. I wouldn’t have cared that she was a woman. What bothered me was that he lied about it, especially because he was barely reachable that day. He says he was just busy working. Fine. But when your marriage has been filled with lies, even the little ones matter.

Within the past year, things got bad enough in our marriage that he faced legal consequences and we were separated for a couple of months during court proceedings. He promised he’d go to counseling, work on himself, and change. For a little while, things really were better. I believed him. I wanted our family to work. But now we’re right back to him dismissing my feelings, talking over me, and calling my boundaries tests. We’re also supposed to move into military housing soon, and I’m genuinely scared that if I move on base, I’m going to feel even more trapped than I already do.

I know people are going to tell me to just leave. Believe me, I’ve thought about it more times than I can count. I was adopted as a baby, and because of things that happened growing up, I have almost no family support. I don’t really have his family’s support either. I’ve been out of the workforce raising our four children. I’ve looked into jobs and daycare, but even the cheapest childcare would eat up almost half my paycheck, and rent would take the rest. That leaves nothing for groceries, utilities, or anything else. I KNOW I deserve better. But knowing that doesn’t magically mean I can afford to support four kids by myself. I’ve gone over so many different plans in my head, and none of them seem possible right now.
I’m not trying to control who my husband is friends with. I’m not trying to ruin someone else’s celebration. I’m asking why my husband can put so much effort into people he’s barely known for three months when I’ve spent almost seven years begging him to do the same for us. And I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m the problem for finally saying enough is enough.

🥲🥲AITA for telling my husband that if he keeps dismissing my feelings and treating my boundaries like relationship tests, I’m done with this marriage?

I (37f) have been with my boyfriend (34m) for 2 and half years. He coach’s high school wrestling so when he told that he would be at a tournament one weekend, I didn’t bat an eye. The weekend goes by and everything seems fine. When he gets back, he’s not really acting like himself so I do some digging on Facebook and find pictures of him at a wedding that took place the same weekend. When I confronted about it he told me he lied because he didn’t have a plus one and didn’t want me to get upset.

The thing is he’s been lying to me about this for months. He was a grooms men in this wedding and had known for some time that he would be going. He went to a bachelor party weekend last month for this wedding and lied to me about it being a last minute invite from an old friend. I asked if he was invited and he told me no but he wouldn’t be surprised if they invited him over the weekend. When he came back from the bachelor party and I asked if he got invited he lied and said he wasn’t invited. He even made sure that the tournament he told me he was going to was real.

We hadn’t been friends on facebook but one day I decided to send a friend request that he never accepted and then all of a sudden all the things he was tagged in had become private and the weekend of the wedding his Facebook was gone. I even confronted him about his posts going private after I sent him a friend request and he told me he didn’t have Facebook on his phone anymore.

I’m not upset that he went to a wedding without me. I’m upset that there have been so many lies for who knows how long and how planned out the lies have been. How can I believe anything he says now?

So AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend for lying to me about going to a wedding?

EDIT: I’m a pretty laid-back partner. I did not have any issues with him doing things without me. I think that it’s important to have your own things. He would go fishing and snowboarding without me all the time. I even asked him if I had done anything in the past that would make him think I would react poorly and all he said was “Not that I can think of. You just seem to feel left out a lot”

Just like the title says my bf (26) asked why I didn’t thank him for holding the baby while I showered. Mind you this is probably only the 3rd time he’s had to hold him while I showered and our baby is 2.5 months old already. I usually always just put him in the bouncer next to the shower and keep an eye on him the entire time.

My shower & self care probably took 30 minutes in total, which I RARELYYY ever get nowadays. I’m lucky if I can take a 5 minute shower and am always putting lotion and clothes on in a rush after.

Once I got in bed and was about to take the baby from him he stated that he “let me take my time and didn’t say anything” and that I “should’ve thanked him for holding the baby” to which I replied “thanked you for being a parent?”, which I can understand may sound snarky, but it was a genuine question. Why would I have to thank you for just holding our baby while I took some much needed time for myself?

He took it as me asking “thanked you for being a parent for once?” and that I was saying he was a bad dad, which is 100% not what I was trying to say.

This ended up sparking a huge argument and my whole point was the fact that he doesn’t ever thank me for holding and taking care of the baby while he’s showering or doing something else so why should I have to?? He ended up saying that it’s just to show appreciation and that even though he doesn’t directly thank me for every thing related to our kids/house, he is always telling me that he appreciates everything I do.

This argument spiraled into disagreements on other things, which was unfortunate, but AITA for my question I asked about being a parent or not thanking him??

My girlfriend and I have been together for 4 years. The first 6 months I was leading my Exxon and letting her think that I was going to get back with her. Shortly after that I went to prison I have been in prison since. I have worked on myself and the way I have treated her. She has not. I've constantly complained about the the fact that she does not answer the phone. I often times don't talk to her with any kind of kindness because I'm so frustrated over every single thing there is. she's been driving my car and homeless the entire time. Aita for wanting to leave her and have her give my car back. I get out of prison in April