Just like the title says my bf (26) asked why I didn’t thank him for holding the baby while I showered. Mind you this is probably only the 3rd time he’s had to hold him while I showered and our baby is 2.5 months old already. I usually always just put him in the bouncer next to the shower and keep an eye on him the entire time.

My shower & self care probably took 30 minutes in total, which I RARELYYY ever get nowadays. I’m lucky if I can take a 5 minute shower and am always putting lotion and clothes on in a rush after.

Once I got in bed and was about to take the baby from him he stated that he “let me take my time and didn’t say anything” and that I “should’ve thanked him for holding the baby” to which I replied “thanked you for being a parent?”, which I can understand may sound snarky, but it was a genuine question. Why would I have to thank you for just holding our baby while I took some much needed time for myself?

He took it as me asking “thanked you for being a parent for once?” and that I was saying he was a bad dad, which is 100% not what I was trying to say.

This ended up sparking a huge argument and my whole point was the fact that he doesn’t ever thank me for holding and taking care of the baby while he’s showering or doing something else so why should I have to?? He ended up saying that it’s just to show appreciation and that even though he doesn’t directly thank me for every thing related to our kids/house, he is always telling me that he appreciates everything I do.

This argument spiraled into disagreements on other things, which was unfortunate, but AITA for my question I asked about being a parent or not thanking him??

I, 35 female, have been with my partner 38 male for almost a year and a half. When we first started dating, I was open and honest about my health and my condition. I explained that this disease is not curable and that we have to use condoms to prevent spreading it. He was understanding but about 6 months in he decided to stop using condoms and said that he was willing to take the risk. I let him know the symptoms that I get and how often and how its not something to live with because it can be uncomfortable and painful. He stated that I was his girlfriend and he didnt feel the need to use protection with me. That's just it though. I am only his girlfriend and not his wife. I told him when the day comes he would regret that decision, especially because know relationship is guaranteed to last. Looking back, I'm started to feel like, in a weird way, he used this to trap me to stay with him. Fast forward a year and half later he is complaining of being uncomfortable in his private area and asked me to get him antibiotics. I told him that antibiotics aren't going to help and that he needs to see a doctor to get the proper medication. While I feel that I did everything right, he still blames me. He says I shouldve gotten away from him and that he wishes that he never slept with me. Mind you, I have a very low sex drive so all of the intiating was done by him. I told him that I did feel guilty but that I also warned him and begged him to protect himself because I didn't want that weight on my shoulders. Now he says he regrets that decision. He's saying I got him sick and asked if I have any other diseases that he should know about since I've slept with so many different men (not true). I still feel guilty because I should've stayed away from someone that could be so irresponsible and care less about their health. Am I the asshole?

I (37f) have been with my boyfriend (34m) for 2 and half years. He coach’s high school wrestling so when he told that he would be at a tournament one weekend, I didn’t bat an eye. The weekend goes by and everything seems fine. When he gets back, he’s not really acting like himself so I do some digging on Facebook and find pictures of him at a wedding that took place the same weekend. When I confronted about it he told me he lied because he didn’t have a plus one and didn’t want me to get upset.

The thing is he’s been lying to me about this for months. He was a grooms men in this wedding and had known for some time that he would be going. He went to a bachelor party weekend last month for this wedding and lied to me about it being a last minute invite from an old friend. I asked if he was invited and he told me no but he wouldn’t be surprised if they invited him over the weekend. When he came back from the bachelor party and I asked if he got invited he lied and said he wasn’t invited. He even made sure that the tournament he told me he was going to was real.

We hadn’t been friends on facebook but one day I decided to send a friend request that he never accepted and then all of a sudden all the things he was tagged in had become private and the weekend of the wedding his Facebook was gone. I even confronted him about his posts going private after I sent him a friend request and he told me he didn’t have Facebook on his phone anymore.

I’m not upset that he went to a wedding without me. I’m upset that there have been so many lies for who knows how long and how planned out the lies have been. How can I believe anything he says now?

So AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend for lying to me about going to a wedding?

EDIT: I’m a pretty laid-back partner. I did not have any issues with him doing things without me. I think that it’s important to have your own things. He would go fishing and snowboarding without me all the time. I even asked him if I had done anything in the past that would make him think I would react poorly and all he said was “Not that I can think of. You just seem to feel left out a lot”

AITA for finally drawing the line after years of my husband putting everyone else before his family?
I (26F) have been with my husband (31M), who I’ll call Ted for privacy, for almost seven years. We’ve been married six and have four kids, all under six. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for years. I’ve raised our kids, taken care of our home, and spent so much of our marriage practically begging my husband to put the same effort into us that he puts into everyone else.

Ted is in the military. Recently, he volunteered to organize a baby shower for a male coworker he’s known for about THREE MONTHS and the coworker’s pregnant wife. He’s planning it on his own time and holding it at work. He even told me, “I don’t even think this guy knows what I’m doing.” So no, this isn’t just collecting gifts for his buddy to take home. He’s actually arranging for the wife to come to his workplace for a baby shower that HE is organizing. And here’s why that hurts so much. I’ve had FOUR pregnancies with this man. Not once did he plan a baby shower, make a registry, or even ask if I wanted one. Not once. He’s also always kept his work life completely separate from me. When I’ve offered to bring him things at work, his response is usually something like, “Why? Well, I guess if you want to.” I’ve never felt particularly welcome there. Yet here he is going out of his way to make another man’s wife feel special at the same workplace.
I have absolutely nothing against this woman. I hope she has a wonderful baby shower. But I’m so tired of watching my husband bend over backwards for other people while his own wife and kids get whatever effort he has left. When I told him I wasn’t comfortable with HIM organizing it, he said, “So you’re gonna punish another family because I didn’t do the correct thing back then?” He also told me that if he goes through with it, it hurts me, but if he backs out, it hurts him because he’s disappointing his friend.

So what exactly am I supposed to do with that? Why am I always expected to be the one who just deals with being hurt? He initially refused to back out. I told him I was considering contacting his commander and explaining the situation myself. Suddenly he called back saying, “Okay, fine, I’ll do your little test.”
And THAT is what I’m so sick of. Every time I tell this man something makes me uncomfortable, he calls it a test of our relationship. When I tell him I’m done or that I’m thinking about leaving, he talks over me. I can’t even explain how I feel without the conversation somehow turning into what I’m doing wrong. And trust has already been a huge issue. About a week before this argument, Ted told me he was working a 24-hour shift with this same male coworker. I later found out he was actually working with a female coworker. I wouldn’t have cared that she was a woman. What bothered me was that he lied about it, especially because he was barely reachable that day. He says he was just busy working. Fine. But when your marriage has been filled with lies, even the little ones matter.

Within the past year, things got bad enough in our marriage that he faced legal consequences and we were separated for a couple of months during court proceedings. He promised he’d go to counseling, work on himself, and change. For a little while, things really were better. I believed him. I wanted our family to work. But now we’re right back to him dismissing my feelings, talking over me, and calling my boundaries tests. We’re also supposed to move into military housing soon, and I’m genuinely scared that if I move on base, I’m going to feel even more trapped than I already do.

I know people are going to tell me to just leave. Believe me, I’ve thought about it more times than I can count. I was adopted as a baby, and because of things that happened growing up, I have almost no family support. I don’t really have his family’s support either. I’ve been out of the workforce raising our four children. I’ve looked into jobs and daycare, but even the cheapest childcare would eat up almost half my paycheck, and rent would take the rest. That leaves nothing for groceries, utilities, or anything else. I KNOW I deserve better. But knowing that doesn’t magically mean I can afford to support four kids by myself. I’ve gone over so many different plans in my head, and none of them seem possible right now.
I’m not trying to control who my husband is friends with. I’m not trying to ruin someone else’s celebration. I’m asking why my husband can put so much effort into people he’s barely known for three months when I’ve spent almost seven years begging him to do the same for us. And I’m tired of being made to feel like I’m the problem for finally saying enough is enough.

🥲🥲AITA for telling my husband that if he keeps dismissing my feelings and treating my boundaries like relationship tests, I’m done with this marriage?

Context, my husband (24m) and I (23f) have been together since we were 15yr, and shared most finances/lived together for the past 6yrs. He recently decided (June 2026) he was going to enlist as active duty, to give us a better future. I wasn’t fully on board but he wasn’t happy in our current situation and had brought this up years ago, and I finally decided that I have no right to stop him from pursing this if it’s what he really wants.

We got married in August (more rushed than I would have liked because he was leaving) and I told him we could do as much fun stuff as possible until he left, even though we had been struggling financially, because I am very tight with money usually and watch every dollar spend and avoid letting debt hang around at all costs. I knew I would be putting a lot of it on cards, but planned to pay it off between both incomes and since he wouldn’t be using “fun money” until about June of 2027. I was aware of this and made him aware of my every move financially.

After he left at the beginning of October, I learned that he was a month behind on his car payment, and had to set up a payment plan for utilities at some point. I handled this and moved on. Next I learned he spent all his savings (our wedding gift money) on bullshit without telling me. Okay, whatever, I’ll fix it, I moved on. Well today I learned he didn’t tell me about a credit card that was over the limit (idk how far over, I don’t have access to the account, the card number, or any info besides the dollar amount. Which is barely shy of $4k).

WIBTA for telling him when he comes home for Christmas that we are selling his car to save money so I can fix this and that he won’t be allowed to handle any of the finances in the future? He said he was worried if we got a joint account we would fight over finances, I said we wouldn’t because I’m not going to be controlling, but that was before I knew about all this going on behind the scenes and him not telling me, but letting me learn it all on my own while he’s practically unreachable has made me lose basically all trust in him setting up a secure future for us.

Ok so my bf had told me he was gonna go all out on my birthday, hes a great bf overall, is always loving sweet. Few days back my friends bf had posted a very soft personal video for her bday and I had told him how beautiful it was. He said for my bday he will make a good video I said ok and told him just dont add any ugly clips of me, today he posted it at midnight with a very fast pop song(american wedding) and vids where I look so bad, when he called to ask if I liked it I just started crying. He then sent me a long mssg which was the script for the letter he said he couldnt write cuz we had a very bad uni exam schedule. The gifts he gave me were good alot of food, lilies but he got a purse, which I didnt like at all it wasnt my taste. Thing is he had send my friend pics of purses and told her to ask me which purse I wanted and I told her, he didnt grt me that one, when I asked abt it he said oh its too expensive? Why not ask me options in the budget sense, whole birthday didnt feel personal and half of the day just went towards consoling him not to be sad and saying how I liked the gifts. Aita for not being happy wnd crying cuz I just feel like if u have promised smth u should go thru witj it. I dont care abt money one bit but why spend sm money on a purse I wouldnt even like. I told him how he doesnt know me at all and he has since stopped replying to me happily and is just dry…

Psa: Im more upset about how he doesnt know me not about the purse, if he hadnt gotten the purse or hyped up about how I would love the gift I wouldnt be sad, and im not comparing him to the other guy over a video, everyone posts a story on their partners bday, I had told him I wanted smth personal and I just felt like he doesnt pay attention to my likes even after mentioning it

We r in the same class, even durinf the same schedule I got him 20 gifts for his birthday, with a very expensive perfume he wanted with other gifts and alot of handmade stuff, I myself study hard and have an almost perfect gpa while he doesnt care abt studies, if I can do sm for his birthday I jusr expected a bit more handmade stuff instead of everything being purchased that too not being my style

I 26F met my now ex 33M just before I turned 18 and aside from physical attraction I never felt anything for him but I thought that was relatively normal because I've never really had feelings for anyone aside from childhood crushes.

We began casually seeing each other and despite being on contraception I fell pregnant immediately, the relationship itself was tolerable, ex was gone most of the time drinking with friends so he didn't bother me much and the baby was easy a literal angel of a child, I found being an unmarried young mother embarrassing so I told my ex that he had a year to marry me or lose me and he chose to marry me, the wedding day itself was a disaster children running literal circles around me during the ceremony the whole day felt like a mistake, anyway over the last 5 years as my now ex's lifestyle settled down he was home more and more and our differences became hard to ignore and he became "playfully" aggressive always hurting me supposedly by accident especially during bedroom activities I mostly brushed over these situations because they didn't seem worth uprooting my child's life for, however it did dissolve any affection I had for my now ex then over Christmas last year my ex had called our child a "little stupid b*tch" so I told him I wanted a divorce he's spent the last year fighting me on this and telling anyone that will listen that I'm a lying demon and he doesn't know what happened to his "angel" (me) our friends and family are for the most part believing him because they find it strange that I haven't been upset or distressed and he's been a mess, which has lead to me explain that I don't think I ever loved him so it's not really painful to walk away from and now I keep hearing from everyone how much I suck for marrying someone I didn't love and they also feel betrayed because I never told anyone how I really felt

Hiiiii, I have a friend X and a friend Y. Actually in the very beginning I was friends with X and later X befriended Y but me and Y were not friends then. Later due another one event three of us began talking and formed a trio for studies and that trio eventually lost its original purpose of studies and we all became buddies. I thought however made it clear that I won't be joining the both of them for self studies as we GHANTA study broo. Both of them were a lil upset but gladly understood my side and our trio remained as a friends trio cutting of the study part. However both of them began hanging out ( there were just casually hanging out not for studies as they confirmed it )more and more often without even asking me and that used to really hurt me. Now I did not used to say anything over this but over time Y noticed this and talked to me about being left out and all. We and Y became really good friends she would genuinely care about me unlike X. Now X would many times knowingly leave me out and would not give a singular fuck about me even tho I always cared about her. Eventually I stopped caring about X and we were just together for Y. In recent times X's relationship got exposed at her house and it was a mess as you all know how Indian parents react when their kids are in relationship. However the first day she tried to blame us and next two days we did not talk to her and neither did she. On the third day X just tried to talk things out with Y BUT NOT ME and they had a truce or whatever but since the next day they again were not talking and that is because X was avoiding Y all along for weeks she even ignored U on her birthday and did even wish her. Now throughout these weeks me and Y grew closer into best friends and yesterday after fucking WEEKS X talked things out with Y and they both have decided to be friends again. I told Y that if she is friends with X; I would not be her friend, as X was and is my opps. She is saying that all along how X behaved with we not not right but she cannot leave this friendship.

I would like to explain the dynamics in detail. I feel that what I'm asking is not wrong because there are fucking instancES where X has done we terribly wrong and I was with Y when X wasn't so I do not feel evil for offering an ultimatum to Y. I would like to here opinions of yall over this. Sorry for the long text ( yet I have left out details lol)but this is a serious matter to me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, met in college and I’m his first ever girlfriend, this is my longest and realist relationship. We’ve had a great relationship for the most part, have made some super insane memories and share a lot of of the same unique hobbies that we love to do together, but over the last few months his actions and attitude are honestly giving me the ick. He gets grumpy for reasons, unknown, or unrelated to me and takes it out on me, he’s inconsiderate of our plans, my time and my schedule, even though I work and I am a full-time student and he does absolutely nothing currently. we barely ever go out anymore, he never wants to pay for anything, even though his parents give him money while I have to work to pay my own bills and for everything else I want/need. Recently, I’ve been not missing him when I don’t see him for multiple days, less inclined to go over when he asks (because all he ever asks me to do is come over to sleepover), and honestly most of the time less/ barely at all sexually attracted to him (and not to sound like a pervert, but I am a very sexual person and this is never been an issue for me). To add onto that, if I’m in a bad mood and not feeling sexual, and he still is trying to make moves, it gives me the ick so bad. I tend to have trouble letting things go, he’ll do one small thing that sets me off and I can’t get out of a bad mood for the whole night, which I know isnt entirely fair. When we do fun stuff/when I’m in a good mood and he is too, we are the same happy couple who loves each other and loves to have fun, but it’s starting to feel like that doesn’t happen as often as the downsides, and I’m wondering if it’s worth it anymore. I do have lots of love for him and the thought of us not being together is scary and feels wrong since it’s been so long, but as we talk about the future and our lives together, it makes me question if he’s actually the guy, I want to build a life with. we are both 20, I’m in school and did not want a boyfriend coming into college. Part of me just wants to work on my own independence and be alone, but is that a good enough reason to throw what we have away? It would be awkward, I know he would hate me and probably try to turn his friends against me even though we are all a part of a big friend group, and I would miss having him since all my family is 3000 miles away and getting to be with him and his family makes me feel super comforted. At this point we’ve had the same conversation/argument multiple times and it keeps coming back to the same thing, but I know if I ended it he would treat the situation as if it came out of nowhere and he had no idea I felt that way (which should not be true, but again he doesn’t pay much attention it feels).

AITA for dating my best friend's ex when she clearly wasn't right for him?

Okay, I (19F) know the title sounds bad, but hear me out. My best friend, Emma (19F), and I have been friends for seven years, but now she's acting like I've committed a crime.

Emma had been dating Jake (20M) for two years. Their relationship honestly wasn't great. They argued constantly, she complained about him all the time, and I genuinely think she was holding him back.

Meanwhile, Jake and I had a connection. We had the same humour, interests, and could talk for hours. At first, it was innocent. We'd text occasionally, then every day. Eventually, he started telling me things about his relationship that Emma apparently couldn't understand.

Why didn't I tell Emma? Because I knew she'd overreact. She's always been jealous when people get close to those she loves, and I didn't want the drama.

Anyway, things developed naturally, and one night, we kissed.

I don't feel guilty about having feelings for him. You can't control who you fall for, and neither can Jake. Yes, he had a girlfriend, but their relationship was already falling apart, so I don't think it's fair to blame me for everything.

We kept things quiet while Jake figured out what he wanted.

Last Friday, Emma caught us kissing outside a restaurant. She completely lost it, yelling at us and asking how I could betray seven years of friendship.

Jake told her we'd only kissed once. That wasn't exactly true, but I didn't think correcting him was necessary.

Emma broke up with him and ended our friendship. Honestly, I thought she was being dramatic. If she really cared about Jake's happiness, shouldn't she want him with someone who understood him?

The next day, I went to her house to talk. I apologised for how she found out, but I wasn't going to apologise for falling in love. She said I'd thrown away seven years of friendship for a guy.

I told her she was making this about herself when it was really about Jake and me. She shut the door in my face.

Then things got worse. Emma sent screenshots of my private conversations with Jake to our entire friendship group. Now everyone knows we've been talking for months. People are calling me a homewrecker, and some friends have blocked me.

I posted about how betrayal comes from people you least expect, but Emma accused me of playing the victim. Honestly, I'm the one being bullied here.

Then I discovered Jake had been messaging his ex while he was still with Emma. I didn't know about it, and I'm upset he wasn't honest with me, but I don't think it changes anything between us.

Emma keeps telling everyone I deliberately stole her boyfriend, even though Jake is a grown man who makes his own decisions. She's acting like she owns him.

I've lost my best friend, half my social circle, and my reputation because I fell for someone.

So, AITA for dating my best friend's ex, or is Emma just angry that he chose me?

Hi, i am here to share my story. My boyfriend (25m) keeps saying "come on" while we argue. now you may think its not a big deal at all but to me it is. whenever I feel uncomfortable about something or someone, i tell him. he always says "come onnn" and to me, this sounds extremely degrading and dismissing the problem im trying to talk about. at first, i would say; please stop saying it, it sounds very dismissing. he would always shrug it off with a yea and then do it again. like again and again. like almost everyday. so my pleads got shorter. and now, he said it in a huge argument we had about private stuff and ive lost it. i told him to f off and that if he ever uses that again we are breaking up. AITA?

My friend and her boyfriend have a really good relationship overall. He’s ambitious and she genuinely likes that about him. The problem is that he keeps telling her she “has to do more for her future.”
She already works night shifts and goes to college full-time. She’s improved her life a lot and is doing several of the things he’s suggested, just not at the same speed he moves. He wants her to study for certifications, join student associations, become a leader in those associations, and pile on a bunch of extracurriculars. He regularly reminds her of things she “hasn’t done yet,” like posting enough social media content for her small business, or that she sleeps after work (she works nights). He also brings up that some of his friends are already managing their dads’ businesses.
Here’s the part that bothers me: she comes from a very poor background. Where she grew up there weren’t many opportunities. She has to work to cover her apartment, groceries, car, and basically everything while doing full-time college. Her boyfriend comes from an upper-middle-class family. His parents pay for everything. He only works part-time for fun, so he has way more free time to study, do extracurriculars, network, etc.
Lately he’s been saying he’s drained because she’s not keeping up with the same level of activity as him. He talks about wanting to travel and buy a house, and basically implies that if she doesn’t do all these extra things she’ll end up behind and it will hold both of them back.
I told my friend that I think he’s being unfair and unreasonable. I said he’s measuring her against his privileged situation, ignoring how much she’s already carrying, and that constantly pointing out what she hasn’t done yet is demotivating rather than supportive. I basically told her she shouldn’t accept that kind of pressure

Context: my gf of over a year has a football game she’s cheering at Friday night which means she won’t be available to hangout until like 10:30 and I need to be home by 12:00 as I have work the next morning. Saturday night (Halloween) she is thinking of going to hangout with her friends at what may be just a hangout / get together and may end up being a party, she’s not sure. Either way I voiced that I’d like to be with her on Halloween night because that means I can spend real time with her on a night we both love. ESPECIALLY since we have a matching costume. And I’ve asked her if I could just go with her to this hangout / party but the answer has been “well if there’s no other guys there that would be awkward”. AITA for wanting to be with her on Halloween instead of her seeing her friends.

Yesterday, my girlfriend (24F) of five years asked to meet up offline to discuss things about us over the weekend. Sensing the urgency, I (28M) canceled one of my classes (I'm a teacher) and met her that very day. I had a feeling it would be a breakup, so I showed up 15 minutes early. Guess what? She showed up 20 minutes late (it'll be important later!).

The moment she sat down, she opened with, "I don't think we could be together anymore." Even though I knew this beforehand, it still broke my heart. Throughout the five years, we only had three big fights, and every single one was about her tardiness and my reactions to it.

I asked her the reason why she wanted to break up. She answered, "I just don't feel like I got respected in our relationship." She said I should be more forgiving about her tardiness and asked why she isn't treated like my students and my friends. This is something I've explained before: I tolerate my students and friends being late because they are not my life partner, and I hold the person I'm building a future with to a different standard.

In details, she kept asking me why I am tolerant to other people (I'm a teacher in case you forget) so easily but so harsh on her. I explained to her clearly. For instance, with my students, they paid for the two hours session (I only teach 1:1 session). And I happily waited till they join, even they join 1h59m late, because that session is paid for. And why one of my older age friend showed up late occasionally, why am I not mad. I never told her that he let me sleep on his couch when I was still looking for employment - those were the lowest point of my life. Before we broke up, I never told her that story, because I feel like I didn't need to. And I kept explaining before she interrupted me "all you have are excuses. It's not fair to me." I was just disappointing and said "That's not excuses. I want you to fully understand why I tolerate it." I even stated that "I am harsh on you because I want to be with you in the long term, don't you understand. All that tolerance I do with other people is because I have motivation behind it, whether it's that financial or a personal favor. But for you, it's love. If I can't see it, then I'm sorry."

In her defense, she kept thinking that when we hang out, there's no point in being exactly on time because we cleared the whole schedule for each other. But it drove me crazy. She is a tour guide, so she is on time in her work. Whenever we went on a date, we would eat first, and I get super cranky when I'm hungry. Any time we hung out, something caused us to be late 30 to 45 minutes, leaving me to open our date with harsh words.

I repeatedly told her that time is very important to me. After big fights, she would be on time once or twice before relapsing. During those times, I thanked her, but the cycle always repeated. When I got irritated, I raised my voice, looked cranky, and used harsh words like, "If I can't count on you on small things, how could we be together when we have big plans and maybe marry?"

Her response was, "I said I'm sorry already, you should be chill with small stuff. If you get irritated by small things, how come you would overcome big things together?" She criticized me for being harsh and saying I couldn't control my emotions, but I told her my reaction comes from her actions. I tried to be less rigid about time, but seeing my time disrespected got under my skin.

She kept asking why I am tolerant of other people so easily but so harsh on her. I explained that students pay for the session, so I happily wait. My older friend who shows up late occasionally let me sleep on his couch when I was looking for employment at my lowest point. I told her, "I am harsh on you because I want to be with you long term. Tolerance for others has financial or personal reasons. But for you, it's love."

Before we parted ways, I asked if she thought I was as angry as my expression or if I just overreacted so she wouldn't be late next time. She deflected, "Why do you keep bringing that stuff up? I was not always late." I replied that she was only on time after we had big fights about it. She got defensive about trying to change and called me out for my harsh words.

At that point, I stayed silent. I finally said, "It seems you've thought this through, and I respect your decision. I still love you, but love alone isn't enough sometimes. Maybe my standards are too high, but I can't do this anymore. Thank you for all the good memories over the last five years."

A sentence from her is stuck in my brain: "You're so selfish. Why can't you treat me less harshly like other people?"

Though it's only been 24 hours, there are many times I want to pick up the phone, apologize, and compromise: she tries to be on time, while I try to be less harsh. But half of me knows I would get irritated all over again.

I think we are looking for two different people. I want someone I can trust in small things so I know we can handle big things. She wants someone forgiving of small things so we can accept big things.

AITA? Am I too selfish? I don't know what to feel, because that is five years, not five days. And things just got out of hand like that.

Jacob, 23 y/o male, broke up with my girlfriend (Alex) (21) of just under 5 years because a new person entered my life (Brenda) who I had caught feelings for unexpectedly. Alex was funny, smart, responsible, beautiful, and had a lot of overlapping interests with me and I loved her very much. The only issue was that our work schedules made it very hard to see one another towards the end. Roughly 6-8 before the beak up Brenda entered my life through work. We quickly became very close acquaintances as we had essentially the exact same hobbies / interests as one another. Brenda and I would talk for hours on end eventually even exchanging contact information for work which led to us talking even more. Never anything suggestive or anything along the lines of a more intimate relationship as her and I were both in relationships at the time. Eventually I realized I caught feelings and felt awful about it. Roughly 7 ish months later is when I decided to sit down with Alex and talk to her. This is part of where I fear I’m bordering on piece of shit territory. Rather than telling her about my new found feelings for Brenda, I told her that I felt as if our careers were taking us in different directions and that I just couldn’t do it anymore. I told her that I loved her, I was so sorry, and I wished her nothing but the best. I told her that I just felt as if I couldn’t be what she needed me to be for her and that it wouldn’t be fair to her me basically stringing her along. Overall it went well. We even still went on a vacation together a few weeks later we had hoped to go on while together. It was understood that we were just going as friends and that the vaca would have no impact on our relationship going forward. The plane ride home for us both seemed to feel like a bittersweet ending to what otherwise was a fairly long and happy relationship. From here we went our separate ways. Roughly a couple months later Brenda ended her relationship. Her and I did in fact hook up a couple times after however since then I just increasingly felt like isolating myself (for reasons in which I’m genuinely unsure why) so we had a conversation and decided it would be best to maintain a professional relationship. Overtime we’ve talked less and less so now we just have what seems to be a healthy platonic friendship. As far as Alex goes, last I heard, about a month after our vaca she had gotten into a (idk how serious) relationship with a member of her friend group. Many friends / family have told me that it’s just a part of growing up or that seeing as her and I got together in high school it’s not uncommon to grow apart or have things come to an end once entering the “real world”. As of right now I’m happy being single and keeping to myself doing my own thing but I still can’t help but feel as if I may be an asshole for the way I felt / handled everything. Genuinely I never wanted to hurt Alex. So give me your worst Reddit. Am I the asshole?

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (23M, turning 24 next week) for four years.

Two years ago, his sister almost died during surgery. I was the one who got her into one of the best hospitals in our city through a friend, and most of her treatment was covered because of it. On top of that, I covered her job at his family's restaurant during the day and then went to my own job after, working 14 to 16 hours a day while he just did his normal 6-hour shift. And I still made time for him.

Now here's where I might be the asshole. My dad has cancer. Because of his treatment, I've taken on extra responsibilities at my family's company, covering part of my dad's workload. My boyfriend knows this. And instead of supporting me, he started a fight because I take too long to reply to his messages. Sometimes up to four or five hours, because I'm working. Accounting, invoices, orders, shipments. Meanwhile, he just serves food at his family's restaurant.

He said I wasn't putting enough effort into the relationship and that it doesn't take two minutes to answer a text. That's when I snapped. I called him a little bitch and told him he's selfish, because my dad has cancer and all I've gotten from him is him being needy.

And honestly, it's not just him. His whole family knows doctors. They never offered help for my dad. Not once. I don't need it, I'm fully capable of handling it with my own family. But I moved heaven and earth for his sister, and they can't even offer a phone number for mine.

I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. He started crying and begged me not to break up. My sister says I did the right thing. My mom says I went too far.

So, AITA?

I have a guy friend who I’ve noticed consistently has a reason why he can’t hang out with me or my cousin, but he seems much more willing to make time for other friends.

This has been going on for about six months, although it wasn't literally every week.

In April, I asked him to grab food one weekend. He said he was broke, so I suggested doing something free instead. He said he was pretty tired and wanted to stay home.

In May, my cousin invited him to hang out. He said he was busy that weekend and would let her know when he was free. He never followed up.

We didn't ask again immediately because, honestly, people get busy. In June, I invited him to a casual get-together. He said he already had plans. A few days later, we saw pictures of him hanging out with some other friends.

In July, there wasn't really an issue because nobody made any plans. Then in August, I asked if he wanted to hang out one evening. He said he was exhausted from work and was going to stay home. Later that night, he ended up going out with other friends.

By September, my cousin tried one more time. He said he had too much going on and couldn't commit to anything. At that point, we both basically stopped initiating.

The biggest thing that bothers me is the difference in effort. With his other friends, he seems to initiate plans, accept invitations, make spontaneous plans, and generally find time to see them. I'm not saying he has to spend the exact same amount of time with everyone, but it's hard not to notice that he seems much more proactive with them.

The reason I eventually stopped initiating wasn't because of one rejection. It was because I realized that over several months, I was almost always the one reaching out, suggesting alternatives, and trying to find a day that worked for him. After repeatedly getting turned down without him suggesting another time, I started feeling like I was chasing a friendship he wasn't putting the same effort into.

One important detail: he didn't know we were comparing these situations or keeping track of the pattern. We mostly noticed it ourselves afterward. I eventually told him that it was frustrating that he repeatedly couldn't make time for us while seemingly finding time for other people. He said the situations weren't comparable and that I was making assumptions about why he couldn't hang out.

My cousin thinks I should have just accepted his explanations and continued inviting him. I understand her point, but I don't think stopping the invitations means I'm angry at him or trying to punish him.

I'm stopping because repeatedly initiating and getting rejected was making me feel like I was chasing someone who wasn't interested in putting equal effort into the friendship. At this point, I figure the ball is in his court.

If he reaches out and wants to make plans, I'm open to it. I'm just no longer going to keep asking someone who has repeatedly shown me that hanging out with me isn't a priority.

AITA for giving up on trying to make plans with my friend?

Hi all! This seems like such a silly and stupid thing to post about but I really want to know and possibly to show him this post.

I (21M) have been with my BF (22M) for 2 years. The entire time I have known him he has enjoyed picking at me, primarily in the form of pimple popping and getting out blackheads. I do not enjoy this and I have never popped one of my own pimples, partly because it grosses me out, partly because it’s painful, and partly because it’s generally not healthy for your skin.

When we first got together I’d let him do it because I knew he enjoyed it but as time has gone on I’ve developed more and more of a dislike for it. I tried to stop letting him do it several months ago but he still “searches” constantly. When he looks I me I see his eyes darting around my face looking at my acne, when he rubs my back any bump or pimple he comes across he will immediately try to scrape off or squeeze, etc. I’ve told him over and over I don’t like it, and that I don’t enjoy it but he literally gets a point he gets obsessive over one and won’t leave it or me alone until he’s dealt with it (or alternatively he’ll have to completely stop looking at me for a long period of time).

It seems stupid, but it really upsets me. I often feel like when he’s looking at me, or rubbing my back it’s not in any attempt to show affection but just to find pimples to try to get. It also makes me somewhat self conscious, my face doesn’t have that bad of acne (or at least it didn’t, it has significantly worsened since this all started - something I’ve pointed out before) but I have a condition on my back that occasionally means I get really bad flare ups that I’m already self conscious about.

He says it’s his way of showing affection, that it’s a very connecting thing for him, but I don’t feel the same way. It sometimes even affects intimacy where I will be trying to kiss him and he’ll be picking at my back.

It’s such a silly stupid thing to be this upset about, and no I’ve never sat him down and had a hard conversation but I have said repeatedly (nearly every time he does it) to please not to or to stop. I’ve tried to offer compromises, we have one of those ear cleaner scoop things with the camera and I do enjoy that, but it doesn’t seem to be the same for him.

So, AITA for getting so upset over this?

TLDR: My BF constantly picks at my acne even after I’ve asked him to not numerous times.

P.S. I want to show him this post, no matter the verdict. please keep responses tactful - thank you :)

(WlW) At first, she said she gave it to me and that she didn’t need it anymore. Then tonight I was talking about how I would sew the patches on and she started freaking out about not ironing them on in case she needed the costume. She’s had it stored for 4 years and it didn’t seem important to her. now when I told her I cut the hood off before she told me this, because honestly ,when I give old stuff, idgaf what people do with it so I thought it was the same with others. But now she says she’s mad and makes a big deal out of it? I am a bit confused. I’ve had a very harsh day and didn’t think of it and didn’t need this situation to happen

AITA:
I 30F caught my husband 36M jacking off while I was at home. To provide context, we have an agreement
that he does not jack off when I am at home. We have had several arguments in the beginning of our relationship because he would choose to masturbate over sex but we have worked through these issues and he has greatly improved. I feel like if I’m at home he can come to me if he needs relief. And I feel hurt if he would choose to do that over being intimate with me so that is why we made that agreement. I have a high so I am always down. We have a healthy sex life over all and I don’t care if he masturbates to porn (we both enjoy lesbian porn from time to time and watch it tougher sometimes). Should also preface he doesn’t have an addiction it’s a normal amount and I don’t believe it affects our intimacy negatively.

Now for the story: Tonight I was making chili for his job’s chili cook off and I finished and came into our room to go to bed. He came out of the bathroom and I saw a giant stain on his boxers and I knew instantly that he had masturbated. I asked him “did you seriously jack off right now while I’m at home making chili for you to take to work?” And he straight looked me in the eyes and said “no it’s just pee I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And I basically pushed back and said I’m not stupid I know and that is why are you lying and he just kept denying it. Then he asked me what time it was and tried changing the subject and I didn’t want to answer so he said hello what time is it? And I said you have a phone you can check the time yourself. And then he asked why I was being rude and I said we had an agreement you wouldn’t do that when I’m at home and he went off saying I’m always home (because I work from home) and that he was horny and stressed and wanted to relieve himself and didn’t feel like having sex. I told him but you agreed you wouldn’t do that and he said that was an unrealistic agreement and I started to cry and that prompted him to start raising his voice because he was upset that I was upset at him for masturbating. I then left the room and went to our guest bedroom but he followed me and continues yelling and saying I’m too controlling and I “police his dick” by telling him to not masturbate when I’m home. I am not always home, I run errands, pick up our kids from school, give him alone time for several hours every other Sunday at least when I go visit my parents. He has time to himself as often as I can give him. He says I’m insecure and just want power of him and it’s his body and he can do whatever he wants to it whenever he wants. He told me he deserves an apology for shaming him, making him upset and angry, and trying to control him. I feel like I was compromising when we made this agreement but am I the asshole?

Hello Reddit, this is my first time posting. I, 22M, and my girlfriend, 20F, have been together for almost two years now. She is the most beautiful, kind, funny, and intelligent woman in the world. I love her a lot.

We have good communication. When we are upset with each other, we will first calm down, then talk everything out. My girlfriend is very sensitive, so sometimes she struggles with expressing herself and will shut down, so I prompt her and ask how she is really feeling, which will get her to share her thoughts with me.

We watched the World Cup together. I thought it was cool and that was it. My girlfriend, on the other hand, would cry and yell in happiness. My girlfriend said as a kid, she was not into soccer at all because she thought it was boring.

After watching the World Cup, she is so deep into soccer. She insists on me calling it the football like she does now. We both grew up in America. She now rewatches episodes of a cartoon called The Champions every single day. She now has tattoos of her favorite players' initials. She watches these fucking clips of the players on Tiktok and she says they are called edits. Her phone is full of them. Her eyes pop out of her head and she starts beaming from ear to ear as soon as she sees one of them.

She said these players got her through a really tough time in her life. She was really busy and stressed with some personal stuff over the summer, so the World Cup/her favorite footballers made her feel really happy and comforted. Why is it that her boyfriend was not the main thing that helped her get through her depression, but some fucking men she will never meet running around on a field? What do they even do? She doesn't even know them. One of them is her phone wallpaper. I don't remember his fucking name. Before the stupid fucking World cup, it was a picture of me. I cannot go a day without hearing her talk about Messi or somebody and how cool he is. She doesn't go around telling her friends how cool I am.

I think she genuinely thinks they are more important to her than I am. I don't understand why she's so involved with them when I am her actual boyfriend and I support her through everything. I might be insecure because all those men are more attractive than me.

I talked to her about how this made me feel and she said her footballers are very important to her because they are "inspirational" and "strong", and of course she loves and values me.
"Inspirational" my fucking ass. How is kicking a ball inspirational in any way. In all my anger, I said if she loved them so much, what the fuck am I wasting my time for, being with someone who is in love with people she doesn't even know? I spent so much time and energy, just for her to care for some footballers more.

She was very hurt and went to stay at her sister's.

I do not want to break up with her, but I am sick and fucking tired of hearing about these men and how beautiful, amazing, cool, and talented they are. What should I do?

I need help quick! I’m kinda getting a little bit pissed, I (18F) and my (22M) boyfriend have been dating for over 3 months now and for the most part everything is going really good! A few months ago he went silent, didn’t text/call me for like 40hrs, as I am still young and kinda stupid I start calling and texting him over and over again, and when he finally answered he said “ I don’t have an excuse, I turned off my phone and I’m sorry for scaring you. I love you” that was fine, obviously I was still mad but it was whatever, after that I told him I don’t care what you do just communicate with me, you don’t have to text me for the whole day, just let me know that your fine before disappearing. He said that it would never happen again, and where I am waiting like a fucking dog for this man to text me, it’s been close to 24hrs and I’m worried about him, he promised that he would text me if he ever planned on going in dnd for a day. He has yet to text me, I thought he maybe just slept in a lot because we were on call till 3am but I have yet to hear from this man. So would I be a total asshole if I broke up with him? I don’t wanna be in a relationship where a boundary that I set is being broken, all I asked for was a simple text and he can’t even do that!

Im just feeling a little lost and would like some advice from someone who is a little bit older and had a fully developed brain lol

Mon copain et moi sommes un couple très fusionnel.

Il est parti faire une formation à plus de 5h de route de chez moi au bout de 6 mois de notre relation, c'était quelque chose prévu depuis longtemps donc rien d'étonnant. On faisait de notre mieux pour se voir le plus souvent possible en se rejoignant ou des fois il faisait 10h de route aller / retour pour me voir chez moi.

Durant cette formation il y avait beaucoup de réveils nocturnes, de pression et de devoirs il était donc très fatigué. De mon côté je commençais une nouvelle licence à plus de 3h de chez moi et j'avais aucun logement, donc je me sentais très mal. Début de dépression, avec l'accumulation d'autres problèmes qui faisaient surface. J'ai commencé à en parler à mon copain qui me disait que ça le travaillait et qu'il déprimé lui aussi. J'ai donc pris la décision d'arrêter de lui en parler et parler avec une psy, malheureusement avec ma maigre bourse d'étude je n'avais pas les moyens, au bout d'une dizaine de séances qui menait à rien j'ai arrêté de voir ma psy.

Un soir de déprime je reçois un dm tiktok, je l'ouvre et je vois un garçon que je connais d'avant mon copain, qui avait vécu les mêmes choses que moi et j'ai pris la décision de lui parler de mes problèmes. Nos discussions étaient toujours tournés vers nos problèmes, on se parlait pour se décharger.

Entre temps mon copain et moi on se PACS, on était les plus heureux du monde et cet événement nous a rafraichi malgré la distance entre nous.

Mon copain fini sa formation, nous nous installons ensemble. La veille de notre déménagement il tombe sur la conversation avec cet homme, je ne la cachait pas du tout donc je suis loin d'être étonnée, sauf que lui vit ça comme une tromperie. Je lui explique que non, que je ne veux rien avec cet homme et que lui non plus, on parlait seulement de nos problèmes. Je l'invite à lire notre conversation sauf qu'il le vit mal, il me dit que non, il ne peut pas continuer avec moi car c'est de la tromperie pour lui.

Il me dit que au début quand on flirtait avec mon copain j'ai envoyé un n*de à cet ami. Je vous avoue que je n'ai aucun souvenir de ce geste là, je lui dis donc que si c'est le cas je ne me souviens pas et que je suis désolée, mais que mon attention à cette conversation était uniquement de me décharger mentalement.

On emménage ensemble malgré tout, notre couple va mieux on prend même mon chat chez nous et on vit une belle vie durant ces 4 mois qui poursuivent notre déménagement. Entre temps je le motive à reprendre le sport, le code moto, bref à atteindre ses objectifs et lui me motive pour le sport aussi.

Évidemment il y a des disputes du type:

"tu as mal passé l'aspirateur"

"tu as pas mis ton t-shirt dans la machine alors que je t'ai demandé."

Bref.

Un jour, ma mère me propose d'aller dans la maison de mon défunt grand père pour 1 semaine en été, j'avais pas trop envie parce que j'étais triste mais il m'a motivé. J'y suis allée sans lui et sur le trajet en message il m'annonce qu'il remet notre couple en question. Je me décompose dans la voiture et je ne sais comment on passe à autre chose, durant mon séjour je lui envoie un message:

"tu me manques"

Il me répond : "je ne sais pas quoi dire, tu ne me manques pas."

J'avoue que ça m'a brisée le cœur, j'ai pleuré pendant des heures. Quelques jours avant il m'avait dit qu'il appréhendait de rentrer chez nous, quand je lui avais demandé pourquoi il m'a répondu qu'il n'aimait pas les reproches que je lui faisait. Après ces interactions il est passé à autre chose, comme si de rien n'était, il voulait qu'on passe un moment ensemble quand je rentrerai et j'avoue que je n'étais pas à l'aise. Il m'a fallu plusieurs heures pour l'être, je pense qu'il a vu donc il a essayé de me mettre à l'aise au mieux.

On retourne chez nous pendant 1 mois avant qu'il m'aide à emménager dans mon appart étudiant ( à 4h de route de chez nous ) je lui ai dit que j'étais très stressée, que j'avais peur pour nous alors tout les matins il me réveillait avec des bisous, calins, il y avait des mots d'amour, des déjeuners au lit.

Bref tout va bien, je suis rassurée. Viens notre dernier jour ensemble avant que lui parte voir sa famille et que moi je parte en cours. Il me dit que tout va bien se passer, on va se marier et je le crois comme d'habitude. Nos au revoir sont douloureux car même si on sait qu'on se revoit 2 semaines après un chapitre se ferme, on ne se réveillera plus ensemble tout les matins.

2 jours après il sort, je ne vois pas son message alors je lui répond 1h après, en lui disant :

"d'accord mon coeur, tu sors où et tu penses rentrer quand ? Profites bien."

4h passe sans aucune nouvelle. Évidemment je m'inquiète qui lui soit arrivé quelque chose, je lui envoie un long message pour lui dire qu'il aurait pu au moins me répondre quand il était connecté, que lui, quand je lui dis pas tout dans un message il me crit dessus, me fais la moral quand je rentre plus tard que prévu, je dois toujours lui dire exactement qui est là et quand quelqu'un se rajoute au dernier moment et que je lui en parle le lendemain en racontant ma soirée il me fait une crise, et que lui ose ne même pas faire la moitié des choses qu'il me demande.

Il voit mon message et répond vraiment méchamment, on se prend la tête et il va dormir au milieu de la conversation. Je m'en veut alors dans la nuit je lui envoie un message pour dire que je suis désolée, que je n'aurai pas dû lui faire la moral mais que je me suis inquiétée.

Le lendemain il est froid, ne me répond à peine et il me dit :

" j'ai besoin de temps aujourd'hui "

1/2

So my [45M] wife Amanda [43F] and I have been married for 18 years. Thankfully I made a number of wise financial decisions 10 years ago that has allowed us to live work-free (until things started getting tight recently when I did return to my old profession), which also unfortunately was the worst thing for our marriage. We moved half way across the country, and with no real roots here we found living on top of each other all the time put a strain on our marriage.

We decided for the sake of the kids (who are now in their 20s and still living under our roof) to stay together and make happy family work by opening up our relationship. And we agreed to one rule; we keep it discreet. We don't bring partner back to the house, and away from each other and the kids. And it's worked fine for almost a decade until the other day.

I return home from a work errand much earlier than expected while my wife is out at tennis lessons to find an unfamiliar car in my driveway. I wearily go inside calling out to no response. I open up my bedroom door to find my wife... With the guy from the tennis club.

Look, I've dealt with anger over the years with therapy, which had worked until now. All my wife tells me to do is "just leave" my own house. When he has the balls to tell me they "had an arrangement" I lose my mind at this guy telling him to get the hell out and made sure to follow. I must've frightened him because he left by running and climbing down the balcony. So much so that my new work friend arriving for a beer saw him running down the street when he arrived.

Now my wife tells me it's my fault for coming home early and that this should have just been an ignorance is bliss situation. She thinks now that our kids are adults our "not in the house" rule is BS, and that the so called hypocritical rule is keeping her confined. And look I don't care who she sleeps with. But our house is our house, and I made a lot of sacrifices (including abruptly cutting off my long-term best friend and business partner) to make sure our family got a normal life. Considering we both grew up poor and struggling, I thought it was a shared ideal.

I never bring the women I sleep with back here, ever! And the rule was our rule for the sake of keeping up normal appearances to everyone else, while we did what we had to for ourselves to keep the marriage alive. I don't want our neighbours, our friends, our kids or anyone else seeing our affairs walking straight into the house. Considering the circumstances I don't think I overreacted. I forget a thousand things every day, but this isn't one of them.

Beware: I am a very long storyteller

So me (24f) and my friend (21f) decided to do an exchange month for our school program together after the semester ended. The program would last almost two months. We applied together to stay in the same room since accommodations available only had doubles. We had two other roommates, one was a girl that's in our club (though my friend knew her a little better because they're both on the executive board of the club), and one was a new girl we've never met.

Maybe couple months or so, she told me that the guy she was currently dating (MIND YOU, they've only been dating not even three months) was going to schedule a trip to meet us in SoCal (we're all from the east coast but he goes to school in west coast) and stay for about a week. Since it was going to be after the school semester ends, he was going to drop by the city we were in before flying back home and my friend said that she might not stay in the room with me for the first week since she wants to spend time with the guy (they're long distance for most of the year). I just said okay yeah and I was very excited for her since she really liked this guy and this guy really liked her and he was a good guy. I even joked about how I wouldn't mind since i'll have the whole room to myself, you know, I can call my own boyfriend and I can have time to settle.

She did mention it a bunch more times leading up to the trip about how she's gonna spend the first week with the guy right and we're pretty close friends so she updates me about how he's planning things to do and I'm a very spontaneous person but she's more of a planner so she appreciated the guy doing that. But anyway, I was already a little bit annoyed since she kept rushing me to buy tickets when the trip was still over a month away. We ended up buying the tickets together, which I did feel a little bad since it costed us almost $500 each for a round trip not including checked bags, but the guy she was dating helped us find the cheapest flight that wasn't at night nor had stopovers.

The day of the flight I was honestly already a bit stressed having to wake up early and driving from over an hour away to the airport and I came close to when they were about to board and I met my friend at the gate and the flight was really shaky and just uncomfortable since we got the basic tickets with no seat choices. When we were about to arrive to the city my friend told me that the guy she was dating was gonna pick us up from the airport cuz he arrived there earlier and he already checked us in for our apartment. I was a little irritated like why did this guy go there first like hello? But whatever she had told me even before that the guy was picking us up and i was pretty impressed for her. And I got a bit more irritated when she told me that the guy asked if we wouldn't mind going on separate ubers since the uber was really expensive for a big van to carry our stuff and I was like let's just wait until we get there and see (this was around 5 mins before landing) and she told me she's not gonna leave me alone and told the guy we'll go tgt. Idk i just internally rolled my eyes like bruh whatever. And then when we got to the airport we were walking to the entrance to meet the guy right and she looked very happy and excited but i was just honestly pissed off the whole time.

-> continued in the comments. sorry guys i literally dont know how to tell a long story short