Just watch out for the cursed variant.

we all know this is what our apprentice looks like when ya come back from vacation.

Source is Wiggle wood on youtube https://youtu.be/mCeWDmzmRH0

Flower, flower, idol of rot

Tower, tower, what mankind forgot.

Power, power, that which’s sought.

Rot, rot, as all ought.

Nectar, nectar, that of █ █ █ █ █ █

You may have noticed a giant eye in the area above your tower. So I signed a contract with the local authorities without consulting you. The thieves guild has been operating in the area, so I'm just keeping an eye out. You know, for security or something.

It's just a standard summoning of Focused Lens Ocular Crystal. Or F.L.O.C. scrying spell for short.

Please stop shooting guns and/or spells at the giant floating eye crystals. It is now a crime, according to this agreement I just had signed.*

\Agreement may include provisions allowing Palantine controller running F.L.O.C. to auction off your most embarrassing secrets to the highest bidder.*

Remember, if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear.

It can be fun to try nonmagical fighting, sometimes right?

Still working on the staff for those wondering. I figured I'd update the fit while I wait for the Entling to dry out.

I decided to leave my castle of Pandemonium in the underworld and spend some decades in this realm but i have growing concerns of my upstairs neighbour:

He only goes out at night, claims he serves ale at a bar.

He's old as hell, well over 28

Keeps mentioning having to go to a blood bank, is that what they call their hunting grounds nowadays?

He's grim pale

Refuses to eat my chili because it has garlic in it, claims it's an allergy

Says he despises the sun and something about the sun giving his fathers skin a Tomar? (Who is this Tomar?)

He rambles about hating silver mines because of poor labour practices, I think it's cuz he's weak to it

He insist he has Aquaphobia

I dropped some Rice and Beans at the last chili cookoff and he started counting them, he claims it's due to Oh-Zee-Dee (not sure if that's his Pacts recipient or a minor devil)

He never enters anyones quarters without permission

He says he dislikes religion and seems bothered when I show a crucifx (i haven't checked if it burns him yet)

He has very sharp teeth

He brings a lot of women to his apartment who scream loudly, I assume he's drinking their blood, they always look shook when they leave, I suspect he's turned them into his vampiric servants

I am considering if holy water or a simple revelation spell would be enough to make him show his true colours

Cynthia Meadowpeak found herself staring intensely at her boots. The petrification plague had already taken root in the young mage’s body days prior as her toes had mysteriously became grey, hardened and unmoving. Despite what spells she had attempted, her petrified toes remained unreversed.

The plague did not stop there though as it spread through her entire feet and was now affecting her ankles. While the leather boots did well to hide the plague’s effects on her body, it did not do so without suspicion. A few of the labourers looked at her strangely as she walked to her wagon with a stiffer gait than usual.

Cynthia was a wagon driver for Martin & Sons Transporting Co., a courier company that operated through the Council Lands and even into some of the neighbouring countries. Her knowledge of basic defensive spells, navigational spells and sense enhancement spells made her a top pick for the company and she quickly made herself a reliable and dedicated employee. No delivery from Cynthia had ever been late before and she intended to keep that way.

Her current trip was to go through the southern Council territories and into a small neighbouring kingdom to deliver some luxury goods like lacquerware, exotic foods and some of the rarer rune enchanted battle gear.

Cynthia took her gaze off her boots and turned her attention back to the road again. She was in no danger of driving off the road as the horses pulling the wagon were maintaining a relaxed canter. She let out a yawn and refocused her senses. Night time was one of the prime times for wagons to get robbed and Cynthia herself was always mindful of that fact.

However, in the distance, she saw a bright light. Then more lights as she rode closer. The lights grew brighter until they revealed a tall wooden palisade wall with a wooden gate and a small guardhouse in the centre. At this gate, two men in a strange uniform stood vigilant with a rifle at the ready.

The young mage found this strange. She had taken this route before and knew for a fact that there was usually a village around here. She also remembered that the village had no fortifications around it.

As she approached the gate, one of the guards held out his hand.

“Halt!”

Cynthia did as she was ordered and brought the wagon to a stop. The guard that stopped her walked closer until he stood right beside her. The guard leaned to his right and saw the company’s name on lettering on the side of the wagon ‘Martin & Sons Transporting Co.’

“A transportation company, huh? You would mind if I ask to see your papers, would you?”

“Uh…y-yes, I wouldn’t mind. Please give me a second.”

Cynthia turn around and reached for her bag behind her seat in the wagon. She then rummaged through the bag a bit and retrieved a bunch of documents. The documents were then given to the guard, who took them towards the guardhouse.

“Keith! Darryl! Secure the back of this lady’s wagon! There are plenty of thugs who would love to use this as a chance to rob a courier!”

Keith and Darryl proceeded to do as their were told and took their positions next to the rear of the wagon, then unslung their rifles just in case. Meanwhile, Cynthia’s documents were being authenticated with a runic authenticator to make sure that they were genuine and that the permits were in fact authorised by the Wizard Council. A copy of the wagon’s manifest was also made. Pleased that the documents were legitimate, the guard returned to Cynthia with the papers in hand.

“Everything here checks out, so just follow me for a quick inspection of your cargo inside”

The guard handed the documents back to Cynthia who quickly snatched them back. She didn’t trust these strange guardsmen at all.

“Why do you want to inspect my wagon? My papers were not forged, as you said yourself.”

“Standard procedure. We just want to make sure if the goods in the wagon matches with what you said on the manifest.”

Cynthia squinted but couldn’t think of anything to argue back. She had never heard of a cargo inspection while travelling through different regions within the same country before, but maybe the Council brought in new measures that she simply missed earlier.

The gate swung open and the guard motioned the wagon forward. The wagon slowly followed the guard around to the back of the guardhouse before being ordered to stop again. The guard helped Cynthia off the wagon and noticed that her left thumb was cold to the touch and deathly grey.

“After this check, you might want to spend the night in the clinic. We have noticed that some sickness that turn some magic users into stone had been going around here recently.”

Cynthia cursed herself for not covering up her hands too. But he said that she should go to the clinic, so maybe they know how to treat this ailment.

Keith climbed into the back of the wagon with the copy manifest in hand. The inspection seemed to go well as Keith simply listed off the names of the assortment of goods Cynthia was transporting. She would like to see what Keith was actually doing in there, but Darryl made sure that Cynthia stayed a good 12 metres away from the wagon. This was annoying.

Though the inspection turned more interesting when Keith stayed silent for a moment, then walked back out of the wagon. He carried a bright blue octagonal box with him and gave it to the other guard. Cynthia’s heart started to thump in her chest as she know what Keith had taken out.

“Would you take a look at that, boss? I found this weird box in the back. The manifest seemed accurate, except for this of course”

The senior guard took a good look at the box for himself. There was white writing on the lid that he had no idea what it was, never mind what it said. Though underneath it was some text that read as ‘Moon transitions miyagegashi. 16 specially made wagashi of varying moistness, reflecting the feeling of each lunar phase. Produced in Saizumi City, Yabounousagi Empire’. Wondering what the hell the box just said, the guard opened up the box and saw 16 sugary confections coloured after different moon phases. He then shut the box and walked off to the guardhouse box in hand.

“Alright, everything’s been checked out. The gates will be open again at 08:00 am at the earliest, so make sure to rest up good. Goodnight”

“But hey! What about my box of sweets?! It was a gift from my mom before she turned into stone!”

The guard turned around and looked Cynthia, who was on the verge of tears, straight in the eye.

“We’re confiscating it. Next time, put your family’s gifts on the manifest under personal belongings. Be glad that taking away your sweets is all we’re doing about this transgression.”

Cynthia tried to charge at the guard, but Darryl used his rifle to shove her into the ground. She gritted her teeth in anger, but she knew that there was nothing she could do. Even if she tried to attack them, the plague had been weakening her magic significantly, so her attacks would be highly ineffective. Not to mention that they would probably arrest her for assault if she tried.

“Hmm, would you look at that? Wizards really do think they are above the law. Though Darryl, don’t be so rough next time. Keith! Show this girl to the clinic. And young lady…”

Cynthia looked with burning fury at the guard as he smirked at her.

“…welcome to the Federation of Independent Snoviet Republics.”

Keith had gently lead Cynthia away from the gate and to the clinic. To put it plainly, it was a field medic tent filled with hastily made wooden beds and staffed with two physicians. Well, Cynthia assumed that they were physicians, considering that despite their outfits having some familiar design traits to the guards and wearing weird hats with a red diamond with a red snowflake in the centre, they seemed to be practicing medicine as well as an army medic tent could. The patients on the beds were all afflicted by the plague, judging by the various states of petrification of their bodies.

Cynthia’s heart sank further after witnessing the state of this pathetic display of alleged healthcare. She was probably never going to leave this place alive, is what Cynthia thought before she was given a bed and closed her eyes to sleep.

Thirteen Dragons stood in a circle, each one a legend in their own right. Each one had left their mark on the world. What they Soviet to accomplish now would change it forever. 

Thirteen wills bent towards an impossible task. 

Thirteen minds channeled powers that would overwhelm most wizards. 

Thirteen bodies staggered and sagged as the toll proved greater than expected. 

Thirteen hearts continued to beat.

Thirteen eyes stared at the result. 

A small gem, thirteen inches in diameter, with thirteen facets ringed with materials this world had never seen before. 

Countless cracks ran beneath its surface, forming a web that illuminated the polished facets in a seemingly random pattern. 

Thirteen breaths, held without thinking, were released. 

It was beautiful.

But was it enough? 

**Lady Ma’at, if you would.**

One of the thirteen, her bronze scales etched with countless legems lifted her claw.

“Arcanus Null!”

The edict took effect immediately, the mag lights around the chamber winking out en mass as the field of anti-magic snuffed them out. Such was the power of Ma’at Set, to forbid a thing and disallow its use.

A power no longer absolute, for the gem still shone with unvanquished light, and floated without any hand to hold it up. 

Ma’at Set spoke again, and again. Edict after edict fell upon the chamber, targeting not just magic in general, but specific forms. Still the gem persisted. 

Thirteen hearts began to race as the elation of the victory that had been achieved sunk in. 

One pair of claws closed around the gem. 

“A pleasure doing business with you, my kin. You’ve kept your end of our bargain, allow me to keep mine.”

Velos’ scales began to shift, not the silver the others remembered, but a shifting prismatic hue identical to that of then gem. 

“I will go inform our allies that Khymeria is now ruled by Thirteen Dragonlords, instead of one.”

Before the others could react Velos vanished in a flash of light. 

A simple teleportation spell. 

One that Khymeria itself should have prevented. 

Twelves eyes stared at the space where the gem had been. 

Twelve minds pondered the implications of what they had wrought. 

Some u/Woahhdude24 help me escape of the backrooms, I just went there like 2 days, and when I return, I discover that there is a magical war between the Council, The Dark Council and a fucking god.

PD: I'm a member of the chaos legion (I just joined for the free wifi and the taco tuesday), so I guess I should participate, also that WD promised me lemons and power for being part of his army.

PD: I make a bet to a sapient spider, I or someone more must summon a destroyer god

War never changes, only its players. A practiced hand is needed to maneuver one’s pieces; hands like the Pale Saint. He’d been a player his entire life. More blood had been shed by his hands than could fill an ocean.

Standing on the edge of the Seething Coast, the Pale Saint watches his fleets of steel ships setting off to every corner of the world. As he had predicted, peace was shattered and the wizards were fighting amongst themselves. Some warlords have raised armies to challenge him: the Everchosen, namely. Nurgle and company were playing their hands in hopes of securing a stronger position in the Great Game.

Static shifts the Pale Saint along. He appears in a grand masquerade ball hosted by dozens of  kingdoms. They greet him with great deference. Such is expected, he had played the game of politics and given many his divinity pills. Princes with poor court positions, princesses without sufficient dowries, politicians with ambitions greater than their abilities; all were pieces on his gameboard. Having sufficiently used his pills over an extended period of time, they now were affected by the golden light in much the same way a true believer might be. They will make controlling the populace much easier through the early days. Xerxes gave the assembled masses a blessing in the Pale Saint’s fashion.

Static. The Pale Saint is on a battlefield behind enemy lines. The soldiers are too slow to react to the golden chains that tear through them like a scythe harvesting wheat. Paladins soon reach his position and fall to their knees in solemn prayer. The fallen soldiers appear to be a regiment of the remaining Council forces. The Pale Saint orders the paladins to take out the corrupted artifacts they had brought with them. After dressing the scene up, the Pale Saint admires his handiwork. Those coming across this scene will no doubt blame the upstart Dark Council for this. He’ll plant spies in the local towns to spread the rumors he needed to sell the narrative. Xerxes thanked his zealous followers.

Static once more brings the Pale Saint to the Basilica of Sarlaine. Overhead is the obelisk. All the gods are leading their followers into battle against the wizard forces. He could see through every pair of eyes on the various battlefields. The golden light was doing its job wonderfully. It wouldn’t be much longer now. Time is slipping away and the Pale Saint knows how this game will end.

The Golden Path only ever leads to one outcome.

The Everchosen lays his eyes upon the hinterlands of the west it's cities ripe for plunder, the alliance between the Legion of Chaos and the Dark Council had broke through a false flag attack perpetrated by an unknown agent impersonating a Chaos Lord, theories aboud if it was the work of the Council or even a worshipper of Tzeentch, but alas the Everchosen and the Dark Lord had managed to mend relations renewing the alliance, now the campaign could continue but the knowledge that there could be more infiltrators within his ranks did not seat well with Chicken.

Banners raised up high and throngs roared as the horde of the damned and the mad followed the Everchosen east, hours of march across swamp and forest were not kind but the gates of the fortress city of Westmarch was a salvitic visage for the tired hosts, Chicken gave his orders and siege engines of all sizes and shapes were quickly raised against the defenders, barrages of trebuchets, cannons and demonic engines roared as a waterfall of iron, stone and fell magic flew towards the walls.

As the projectiles made fall some bounced off the magical wards, other burst themselfs into the walls but worst was the warpfire unleashed, each lick of the flames upon the walls caused random effects, one touch of the fire could heal a defending soldier, while another could freeze him and a third would mutate him horrifically into a warp spawn set on his fellows.

Chaos erupted within the defender's ranks, a hastely assembled battle ram hit the wooden gates below vigurously until at last it broke through allowing a tide of chaos warriors to flood in, the city's defenders retreated into the castle at the center of the city as the civilians were either cut down or captured and their homes plundered.

Even though the city at large had fallen the defenders kept fighting to within the castle as it wards stood strong, barrage after barrage of artillery both mundane and prophane assaulted the magical shield to no avail, at last realizing the futility of this engagement the Everchosen began casting a great spell emanating the energies of chaos across the battlefield, defender and fell champion alike froze as the imense magic circle took form above the castle.

Realizing the impending catastrophy incoming the commanders ordered the Legion to retreat, the feeling of triumph lasted but a few seconds as the soldiers believed the fell hordes to be retreating until to their terror the colossal circle began to shine unleashing a torrent of warp fire into the castle, every imaginable form of effect and alteration took shape and form by these flames, men were melted and frozen into place at the same time as the castle around them turned to warped glass.

The silence in the wake of this spell was deafening until it was broken by the roaring of fell things, all the soldiers and mages that survived the effects of the warp fire were changed into warpspawn that clawed at the glass walls and feasted on the bodies of the fallen.

The throng erupted into cheers at this sight of chaotic power, the defenders were vanquished and the city was forever changed to the point that it could never be reclaimed by the forces of order without some serious magical decontamination, the piles of gold, skulls and trophies amassed were a sight to behold, now the path to the heart of the council's power is one step closer.

The Everchosen raised his demonic sword to the sky at the sight of the cheering croud.

"To Victory!"

Not that anyone cares or will believe me, but im not bringing back the wizards with blue helmets, the mage guard, the USSF, the UPF, or even khorde in any form or mage guard. im shifting my focus solely to metalisus.

To the people of the blue army, i bid you lots of fun. im sorry ive already made your path harder months ago.

Another day, another lunatic. So it has always been with mages, the Loremaster thinks. It hasn't given him trouble before. Hells, some of those lunatics were a net positive for the realms. Some of this new breed might be just that too, but the majority of the players in the burgeoning Fifth Wizard War are a disaster-in-waiting.

The so-called Dark Council is headed by unstable fools who think backstabbing is a Division I sport. The Pale Saint and his god-thralls are a catastrophic threat trying to reverse the rightful course of history. In a massive sea change from what's typical for the Ruinous Powers, the Chaos Legion seems alright. The Council itself is, as always, barely competent and more interested in its own continuity than actual peace. And fueling and being fueled by all the others, is the anti-magic ideology being exported by the Blue Army. The Loremaster is especially wary of that, given how the movement's agents are spreading misinformation about the causes of various crises to encourage their beliefs. As with all anti-magic organizations, this one is surely controlled by a powerful figure with malign intent.

It's a lot to keep track of. On top of it all, the Loremaster knows Thrakmoor is still out there gathering strength. Despite what he said to Markus, he knows that if some of the particularly short-sighted and authoritarian factions aren't taken out before the Grand Army arrives, it could be disastrous. So, the Loremaster decides to ring up an old acquaintance who's also been watching from the sidelines. He dials the number and waits for him to pick up.

"I'm trying to fish here, who are ya and what do ya want? If this is about coming back to work, forget it, ya can't make me!"

The voice on the other end of the orb sounds irreverent as ever, an impression enhanced by the sounds of the forest and river bleeding into the call.

"G, it's the Loremaster. Have you been keeping up with the war news?"

"Oh, hi Lore! And yeah, I have. This place is a little ways off the paper route, but the news gets out here anyhow. Sounds like a real mess, eh?"

"You have no idea. Five factions, two regressive movements trying to rewrite history, an unknown number of independent troublemakers, and precisely zero solid alliances. Classic wizard war."

"Are ya calling to enact the Avalon Protocol then? Think it's time for me to come home?"

"Not yet. I said that'd only happen if things got too out of hand, which in this case means Thrakmoor or some other great evil returning. For now, it's manageable. I'm calling to get a second set of eyes on the situation. I have the resources and connections to lead the charge against a single faction and take them out of the game. Question is: which one?"

"So, the wise Loremaster comes to sit at the feet of the greatest trickster the realms have ever known, it that right? Well, let's get class in session. First off: the Wizard Council is right out. As much as it'd be hilarious to have you get rid of my old employers so I never have to come into the office again, everyone else has that handled. You'd just be starting a sixth faction and deepening the rat's nest."

"Wasn't planning on it. That would be like challenging all five at once."

"Next up: Dark Council. Removing an unpredictable agent is good, but ya might be wasting your time there. Just like the real deal, they're a mismanaged cult of personality where half the members join for a fancy title and don't contribute. Don't bother."

"And they're starting fights with the Chaos Legion because some wizard pretending to be a Chaos warrior thought it'd be funny. The Everchosen will deal with them, no doubt."

"Yeah, it's goddamn hilarious. Speaking of the Chaos Legion, I wouldn't even consider them an enemy. I've never seen the servants of the Dark Gods behave this way, almost like they're working for mortals instead of against 'em. Lord Chicken was never the world-ending type, so I guess it checks out."

"He wasn't a cruel man when I spoke to him last. That leaves the two regressive factions. How about the Golden Path?"

"Oh boy. The Golden Path. Let me tell you: I knew Xerxes was a shitter the moment we met. I hate his god-bothering guts the way he hates people exercising free will without a deity watching over their shoulder. So, when I say ya shouldn't go after the Pale Saint, that should mean something."

"Don't joke with me, trickster. This is serious."

"I know, but I mean that. You're a more powerful guy than you let one, Loremaster, but an army of gods is a bit above even your pay grade. Leave that to the expert god-killers. We'll want ya alive for when we beat Thrakmoor. Which is why, in my opinion, ya should go fight the Blue Army."

"The anti-magic commoner uprising? Not really a good PR move to be killing civilians, no matter how threatening their beliefs."

"Who said anything about killing? I'm getting ahead of myself- lemme explain why they're your best bet. First off, ya probably know this but the Blue Army is the military arm of the United Snoviet States of Frost. For the longest time, they were the biggest laughing stock in the realms. Between starting fights with every wizard nation they could, working with the pirate fleets, being stupid enough to ally with Xel'lotath, and having generally garbo tech, the USSF was a hammer-and-popsicle-shaped joke. But now? Now they're exporting their beliefs overseas, and worse, they're showing glimmers of competence in it. You've already seen their propaganda, and how they benefit from making this whole affair worse. No magic and no clear leader means they're on top."

"You make a good point, but you still haven't addressed my point: killing commoners with a grievance isn't going to reflect well on me."

"Ya don't have to, Lore. The Snoviets are trying to wage an information war with a whole nation at their back, but there's exactly one person I know who can win any information war handily, and he's talking to me right now. You're the perfect fit to eliminate the Blue Army's threat. In fact, ya might be the only one who can do it."

"You flatter me, G. But you're right. It won't be hard to remind people what anti-magic groups have done in the past. The USSF being a foreign actor will help with that. I'll check who's open to helping right away. I know some poster designers in Ithacar people have hired in the past. Thanks again for the help."

"Any time, Loremaster. Just let me know when you want me back for real, okay?"

"Oh, you'll know. Take care."

The call ends. The Loremaster pulls out a sheet of parchment and starts drafting a letter with slogans and poster ideas. He telekinetically pulls over a phone book and an envelope for later. He smiles at what he's written.

For once, this war might actually be fun.

--

/uw If you recognize who that is on the other end of the orb call, you get a gold star that does absolutely nothing but looks kind of neat.

It only fires once so don't miss.