Hello!

I'm sure this is a shared feeling here but wanted to vent about it regardless.

I hate being NB. I'm openly NB but don't mention it too often because I can't be bothered to deal with everything that comes after. Having to tell people "but not in THAT way, I have gender dysphoria and a life" because of the automatic grouping with tucutes. The horrible stereotypes that NB people have because of people who adopt the label for "funsies" or to get brownie points frustrate me to no end. I've tried joining queer spaces local to me but found it so intolerable I left. I'm an outsider to them.

One example of what I dealt with during my stint of joining queer spaces:

"Oh I'm Non-Binary because I didn't like the term woman! I wear masculine clothing, use they/them, and no plans for HRT/Surgery!"

And the absolute clown outfit this person had on. Picture the 2020 vibe with the excessive accessories, outrageous makeup, and a plethora of NB and pronoun pins on everything. I was subjected to a mockery of what I deal with. I did press them more on the medical and dysphoria stuff, and it really was just a cis woman who wanted to feel different. But hey, I couldn't say anything to offend them at the time. But damn did it feel like a smack in the face.

I use "all pronouns" in my daily life to side step the issue of misgendering. I stopped using only they/them a couple years ago because whenever someone would use she/her, either they or people around them made it a spectacle to correct the pronouns. It's embarrassing, don't spotlight it. Please just move on...

I really do hate she/her though. It sounds like nails on a chalkboard whenever someone uses it on me. But I'd rather deal with those feelings internally.

This isn't to say absolutely everybody uses the all pronouns thing. All of my closest friends know about the above and strictly use they/them, if they slip a she in there it's as if it never happened. Forever grateful of them for that.

Then, online spaces.

I debate people on political stuff all the time. Some spaces focus on trans issues, or maybe it gets brought up as a side topic, and I'll lightly engage.

But then NB people get brought up. And I'm the only NB person there. I'm inundated with questions about what it is, the dysphoria and medical side of it, the different ways people with NB experience dysphoria. That's if they're a curious bunch. Sometimes it'll be a room full of trans women yelling at me about how I'm just a trans man and I'm ruining their social credibility. Or it's straight cis men who are just transphobic and hound on me with that usual rhetoric if I'm lucky, or it's them trying to sexualize me (this has gone as far as sexual assault threats in order to "fix me").

So that's...

1. Everyone asks me questions for hours

2. I get told I'm just a man (popular with binary trans people)

3. I'm harassed and threatened

Fantastic!

There are not many places to turn to for a community, people who resonate with me. I'm constantly justifying my own existence or downplaying it for peace. Meanwhile, getting medical treatment for my GD.

Hell, I'll end this vent here.

One of my surgical goals is to remove my uterus. The amount of times I've heard men say "oh so raw? Can I fill you up?" is sickening. I'm not removing my uterus for a man, I'm removing it because of how it functions and what it symbolizes horrifies me.

On the other end, the "what if you want a baby?"

I have no plans to have children, I get nauseous looking at a pregnant belly. On the off chance I change my mind, I'll adopt or foster. I don't care about a biological connection, I care about the quality of life. I'll likely pick fostering rather than adopting because of that.

They absolutely hate that answer too, for the record.

Anyways, this is quite long so I doubt many people will read this in full. For those who do, I'm sure you can relate on some level. There is comfort knowing you aren't alone I find

I'd love to see someone like me represented. Human, dysphoric, androgynous/trying to be androgynous. It feels like the only representation we get is either robots or cis people who are only canonically nonbinary because the creator of the media posted it somewhere. Does anyone have recommendations? Bonus points if this piece of media isn't about/centered around love (romance is very boring to me)

made this post to a hate sub, but got banned for it.

recently, I talked to a nonbinary friend, who said second passports are a great idea, and that they would feel better with an X passport as well as a F passport, since they struggle to pass as anything besides a cis female, just like me. although unlike me, she probably won't be privileged enough to get any surgery, since he's british.

sad.

but, the US has handed out nonbinary passports as late as this year.

they also give second passports: https://travel.state.gov/en/passports/apply/unique-needs/second-passport-book.html

americans can get a second passport if their current one has visas that a country will ban them for. like if china bans anyone who has a taiwan stamp from entering, and an american has a taiwan stamp and needs to travel to china for work, then they can get a second passport

i think the same should be allowed for nonbinary people who need an accurate X passport, and also might require an M and/or F one for safety reasons

like when I travelled through UAE, it absolutely would not have been safe for anything but me using an F passport and passing, cuz if they strip searched me and found no penis it would've been bad. and also they wouldn't even let me in with an X, so...

btw i probably have y chromosomes and got nullification, and my friend probably doesnt & he only wants mastectomy and sterilisation. im VERY MUCH not transmedicalist, depending on the exact definition.

Hello friends! I’m just a visitor here (trans man) but I’ve been trying to develop a community on TikTok of like minded individuals. I’m a transmed who believes in nonbinary people (if they have dysphoria of course) and I know finding tiktokers with similar views can be difficult.

Just wanted to share my account in case anyone wants to be mutuals :)

At least once a week a post appears in the main truscum sub where members claim that non-binary transsexuals do not exist. The mods never do anything about it, despite claiming that the sub is inclusive to us.

I agree with most transmed beliefs. I have experienced dysphoria since I’ve first understood myself as a person. I have a gender dysphoria diagnosis from 2 different doctors. I require medical transition in order to feel comfortable with myself. I live in a world where I will probably NEVER be seen as who I really am. On top of that, currently politics have been grouping us with tucutes and have been rolling back on our rights. Then, when I come online to talk to like minded people, half of them group us with tucutes as well, and act as if those of us who actually experience dysphoria and require medical transition are somehow causing transphobes to target all trans individuals. Like brother, we are on your side?????? wtf?????? Over and over again, I see binary transmed people trying to use us, non-binary transmeds, as scape goats for the fact transphobes are assholes independently of who you are or what you identify as.

Ugh anyways, my bad if this all sounds kind of convoluted. I am just really tired of this bs

if an nb likes women and nbs what are they

I swear imposter syndrome is so real 😭. I got diagnosed with gender dysphoria in 2014 when I was 15 years old after. TW:Self harm mentioned in spoiler text. After trying to cut my breast off with a razor blade . I went to gender affirming therapy a year ago and got clean from SH for that year so I can go on HRT at 17 through informed consent this was in 2016. I mostly wore sport bras and used ace bandages in high school my freshman year since I didn't have access to a binder until I got one from GSA . I went through a bunch of crap with doctors, therapist and my mother in Texas because I was TW : SA content : Sexually assaulted as a minor by another minor who touched my chest inappropriate who was in my girl scout troop . Which was their reasoning on why I was trans , which made me feel like an imposter. I started T on a low dose and I wore my binder everyday even to bed . T helped a lot with my dysphoria and being on T made me feel like I wasn't making anything up for attention until I was able to get top surgery which was my main goal.

I've been having gender dysphoria as long as I can remember. I started puberty earlier than most people due to Precocious puberty, I was born 1lb and 14 ounces at 25 weeks gestation due to being born a mircopreemie and puberty was so traumatic to me especially since it was the reason for my sexual assault experience. I had to go on and off a low dose of T when I turned 18 due to my mom refusing to drive me to my appointments and I didn't have a car or a job , so that was my first priority, so I had to stop T cold turkey which sent me to the psych ward again. Then I went back on from 2020-2021 , and had to stop again because I couldn't commute every three months during COVID from my conservative suburban area to the only few places that provide HRT in Houston TX. I recently went back on T last year and got top surgery 10 months ago .

After getting top surgery which was a pain in the ass but quicker than expected I feel ok with stopping T. I don't regret T because if it wasn't for T I would probably just never talk . I hated and still get dysphoria around my voice , my voice was super high due to early puberty so now it's deep for a woman and high for a man on T . I'm still curvy because I'm overweight but couldnt work out because, TW for chest size : I had a large A in elementary school and I gained a bunch of weight and went up to a H cup as an adult. I love my body hair and facial hair and bottom growth, also I don't mind all the other effects from T, but I don't really need them anymore. I'm not really a man or a woman and even on T I still get gendered 50/50 . Passing as a binary gender was never my goal and if anything I'm tired of having to take T when I don't really need it anymore . I have most of the permanent effects already and I knew my voice was never going to be super deep just due to genetics since my dad sounds like a gay man but is straight and can barely grow a beard . I'm just worried does it mean I'm faking being trans if I stop T?

Idk probably not , I still have voice dysphoria and I'm doing voice training starting next week . I don't think I have the t voice but also don't have the deepest masc voice out there . I just have a butchy sounding voice . Most of my dysphoria is gone after top surgery and idk it feels good and I'm so much happier that I'm clean from SH and working out . But I still feel like a fraud because I am ok with stopping HRT and don't want to take T anymore it's exhausting and it's just not for me . I don't want to take it or age/depend on T for functional hormones especially in the south . I'm satisfied with the changes I have and after top surgery I can give less of a shit about pronouns because I can't control that I'll always be seen as either female or male depending on how I dress, sound , look and what hormones I'm taking .

Does that mean I'm not trans anymore ? Idk I suffered so much just because I'm trans being trans sucks and I hate it so much . I low-key wish I could be binary and stealth especially in Texas but that's just not me I'll always be some ugly looking female ish person with no boobs and a deep voice with facial hair , but I rather look ugly as both genders . Since I'm black I'm hoping I just look like a stud or something or a gay black man who's 4'9 and fat and still probably ugly or some weird gender freak lol. There's no winning for me when it comes to being binary I'll always be visibility trans and always look weird or a freak to society which I don't really mind since I've always looked ugly even before HRT and surgery atleast now I feel comfortable in my own skin even if I'll always have people look at me like they saw a monster usually older people younger people usually call me fg or tr**ny or just call me a girl which I find funny since I have no boobs, facial hair and a deeper voice than most women even ones in menopause.

I'm a NEET and disabled AF due to my mom's idiotic choice to have a premature birth instead of an abortion. I don't really go out , I can drive and I go to free stuff in my area and my partner and I do things together. But overall I just avoid society because I know I'll never be accepted possibly even in the trans community. Idk am I just having imposter syndrome or something? I'm so envious of people who are just accepted by society atleast on social media like I'm not accepted and things like going to either bathroom and just functioning in a conservative state can be dangerous for me as a visibility trans person, I don't want to pass as male or detrans I tried and I almost offed myself again. So how do you cope with being so visible . There's a Nonbinary support group that's close by but idk why I don't go. I know it would probably help to be around other trans people who don't have the choice if they want to be visibly trans or not.

My friend is not specifically a truscum but yes a binarist. When I told her about nulification, she told me it was just dysmorphia or mutilation, but I told her it's not, and I gave 3 arguments why:

1- Because being nullsex or wanting a nulification isn't just wanting to get rid of your genitals, but also neutralizing all your sex traits, even secondary sex characteristics.

2- Because nullsex dysphoria is not only about physical dysphoria but also about an existencial one or the conviction you're not a man nor a woman. Binary trans people doesn't just want to look as the opposite sex but also they want to be born as it.

3- Being nullsex usually involve social dysphoria, like wanting to be treated with gender-neutral language and ocuppy third roles. Just like binary trans people also want to.

She said she just would think about it.

Is genderfluid real? The only people who I've met that said they were genderfluid gave really transphobic explanations, saying that they're parents allowed them to be androgynous and that's why they sometimes feel like a different gender??? Can genderfluid be real? If you're genderfluid feel free to share your experiences.

I'm nullsex btw

How have you used HRT to transition in a nonbinary way? Do you read as androgenous socially? How hard was it to access?

As in, at what point does one go from being considered duosex to transsexual? If a trans woman, for example, had all forms of dysphoria regarding her male traits except her genitals, would that make her duosex?

I’m thinking more about this…

Hi everyone,

I am a Republican and I am interested in learning more about your experiences. What led you to know you were transgender and what is the difference between transgender and non-binary? What are your life experiences? What's your thought process that led you to where you are today?

A lot of people in my party hate you but I genuinely believe you aren't bad people. Help me to explain to my friends your beliefs and worldview. I've said it before I'll say it again: We're all Americans. We're supposed to be on the same side. And these culture wars over people who aren't harming anyone is really saddening me. We should be focused on healthcare, on school shootings, not on someone's personal lifestyle. I hope in the future my party can reconcile its differences with your community but right now its been a bit toxic towards you.

Thank you in advance and sorry if it came off as naive. If you have any political questions for me as a Republican who supports LGBTQ and why other Republicans seem to have a problem with you I can answer those as well as I've spent a lot of time around Republicans.

I have some question and it’s always popping in my head.
Trans people and non binary feel like them because of stereotypes created by society?
Do they exist because of those stereotypes?

I am sorry if these sound offensive. ❤️🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️!!

After having it happen five times with friends who I respected as nonbinary/trans men (who medically and socially detransitioned), and seeing this narrative play out all over the Internet and detransition circles, I am just exhausted.

Adopting the nonbinary narrative is not a coping mechanism for other life problems or because you think being a woman means you matter less. It is not for you to use to claim real estate in a community where you never belonged in as a cis woman with sexual trauma or other forms of baggage, just because you have insecurities owing to past trauma or internalized misogyny.

I don't even know what these people get out of calling themselves non-binary when they aim to pass as women and undo /all/ the mistakes they made when medically transitioning. You are a woman who made mistakes while interpreting the cause of your suffering, and it happens to the best of us, but why is it so hard to own up to that such that you need to keep hiding behind a label that is not yours?

These women get warned, they get dissuaded by actual trans people, they have things pointed out to them that could be a contradiction to what they think is dysphoria. But they still go and transition anyway and then get nasty with us nonbinary folk when they inevitably detransition after giving themselves dysphoria.

I don't know where I'm going with this but I'm just tired of CIS, women, appropriating, s*** and getting themselves all confused because they lack self-awareness.

A- Gender dysphoria must be a single and unitarian diagnosis to make diagnose easier and/or because dysphoria is a spectrum.

B- Gender dysphoria must be a single diagnosis, but it should have sub-categories or specificators (transsexualism, nullsex, duosex, non-specified) to make diagnose more precise and make a clearer route.

C- There should be different diagnosis for each kind of gender dysphoria (transsexualism, nullsex, duosex, non-specified) because all of them present different symptoms, goals and experiences.

Hello everyone!

As some of you know, we got a transX wiki on miraheze -> https://transxnonbinary.miraheze.org/

But it needs some activity (otherwise it will become private or even get deleted due to how the website works). Only the creator and I edit it occasionally!

I was thinking of adding a page, if not two pages, for SERMs / SARMs / other transX hormone options. I'd like your advice on what page to create, and how to make them.

I will probably include a table of physical effects, mental effects, risks, dosage, and level of research associated with each hormone option.

Feel free to give advises, to educate me about transX hormone options or to lend us a hand on the wiki!

Thanks in advance!

A few months ago, I was contacted by the former head moderator of r/truscum. Their subreddit was undergoing some changes, and one of those changes was the official separation of r/truNB. As some of you may remember, around three years ago we had discussed secession and ultimately had remained a sibling subreddit. Many of our users, including myself, do not frequent that subreddit due to their stance on non-binary skepticism and the allowance of, at times, outright hostility towards non-binary people. We are now an entirely separate entity and while I’m friendly with the new head moderator, we have no affiliation with them going forward. Our Discord is not affiliated with theirs either; it exists solely in affiliation with this subreddit.

With that said, I am going to be drafting a moderator application. I am looking for mods with the intention of eventually stepping down. Let’s face it, I have not been an active member of this community in quite some time, and I think the user base should run it.

Please, PLEASE, do not harass or brigade the moderators or the members of r/truscum. This behavior is against our own rules and Reddit’s TOS.

Thank you for being here.

-Reine

Hi, this is my first time posting here, and I’m still learning how different people in the trans community use certain terms. I’m not trying to debate anyone or make definitive claims, I’m just trying to understand what others think about this. If I’m misunderstanding something, I’m totally open to being corrected or pointed in the right direction. I just want to hear different perspectives.

To my understanding, the term transsexual traditionally referred to people with gender dysphoria who pursue medical or physical transition, while transgender has become a broader identity term for anyone whose gender doesn’t align with their assigned sex at birth.

Because of that distinction, should these terms be separated again? For example, would it make sense to describe nonbinary people who medically transition as nonbinary transsexuals, and nonbinary people who don’t transition as nonbinary transgenders?

I’ve noticed that many nonbinary people I’ve met don’t pursue any form of social or medical transition. While everyone has the right to identify however they choose, the term trans has historically referred to a specific social and medical situation. That’s part of why I’m trying to understand how these labels should be used within transmedicalist frameworks.

I’m also asking this because I’ve seen a lot of binary trans people reject nonbinary people being included under the trans umbrella for this reason. It makes me wonder whether a clearer distinction could help reduce conflict or misunderstanding between groups. A lot of experiences between binary trans people and nonbinary people overlap, and while there are differences, there are also meaningful similarities. A clearer terminology system might help unify the broader trans community rather than divide it.

I’m curious how others in this community think about this distinction and whether it’s useful, outdated, or something else entirely.

For context I'm genderqueer.

I’m writing this to try to understand other points of view. If I’m wrong- can you take a minute to show me why I’m wrong?

I’m wondering what people think about the proliferation of terms like AFAB transfem or other terms that don’t seem to describe a transition from one gender to another and also don’t seem to describe enby folk.

As a trans enby person, this is really difficult for me. I feel like there are many terms that people are using now that just don’t seem to describe a trans experience. I don’t believe that people can just decide to be trans. You’re trans or you’re not trans. I think this all dilutes the trans experience. If anyone can be trans then wtf is the meaning of trans even? How can a person who is assigned female at birth transition to being a girl? I mean- I could go out on a limb and say maybe if they were raised a boy but seriously, how many people has that happened to?

I also feel like the whole thing is cultural appropriation. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not! As a white person I can’t just say I’m Black, not matter how much I might “ identify” with Black culture because I’m just not. I feel offended when people “identify “ as trans. You’re either trans of you’re not.

I worry that it’s just a costume that can be taken off at any time. If the shit really hit the fan- whose side would they really be on? Like- I don’t feel like they got my back.

Again- if I’m missing something here I’m open to someone telling me and changing my mind.

So basically, I'm non-binary (I do sometimes use other labels to describe myself but this one works) . And lately my dysphoria has been through the roof. Every single day for 6 months straight. It's unbearable.

I know myself as nullsex and lately have been learning more about ​gender nullification surgery. (It sadly doesn't exist in my home country yet but I can go elsewhere)

I soon realised that people barely talk about it in trans spaces ​and it genuinely annoys me to no end. It's like it's barely recognized as a gender affirming surgery that's available at all! No ressources, no nothing. So I don't know where to go.

I thought maybe this sub could give me some advices or info?

Did someone here have this surgery?

Thank you very much in advance.

I feel like whenever I check out a more medical leaning sub, it’s like “huh yeah that makes sense”… until they suddenly start bashing non-binary ppl. And when I check out more “lenient” subs, it’s like “wow at least they accept you”, and then it devolves into complete ignorance to the point where dysphoria doesn’t even exist to them? Like anyone can be whatever they want even if they don’t experience the mildest incongruence between their sex and gender (and I’m a pretty lenient guy myself but I don’t see how anyone can be anything, like id love to be a guy without dysphoria but saying so doesn’t make it true unfortunately…)

I feel like this sub is kinda the closest to getting in the middle of all that. Are there any subs like this one? And I honestly am starting to think that it’s probably just because most of the super radical people, truscum or tucute, just tend to be chronically online and end up radicalizing their beliefs further, leading to less “neutral” opinions.

However I’m not non binary so idk if I should be in this sub, but as I said before, most other places just suck. Maybe I need to get outside more lmao
Thanks for reading my mini essay💕

Transitioning as a nonbinary person looks a bit different. What's your plan for transitioning, or, how are you currently transitioning? This is mostly asking about medical transition but I'd like to hear how this effects your relationships and social life too.

I don't care that I pass very well, its barely helped my dysphoria at all. I'm still in this mutilated form, and I still can't change it for months to years

I believe this is true of other enban, where aligning your body with your mind is the goal, not necessarily passing.