My girlfriend has hated this ugly ceramic goose lamp that my aunt gave us when we moved in together. It's massive, has a weird yellow lampshade and we've been arguing about where to put it for months.

A friend was organizing a charity auction for a local animal rescue, so I donated the lamp. My girlfriend was thrilled.

At the event I noticed the goose had zero bids while everything around it was getting attention. Felt a little bad because my friend had spent weeks organizing this thing.

So I put down $20 just to get the bidding started. Figured someone would throw in $25 or $30 eventually.

Nobody did.

At the end of the night they congratulated me on winning my own donation and handed me the goose.

My girlfriend came to pick me up and saw it sitting in the backseat. She genuinely thought I'd made up the entire charity auction as some elaborate excuse to keep the lamp.

We now have a $20 more expensive ceramic goose and I'm apparently not allowed to make decisions about furniture anymore.

TL;DR: Donated an ugly lamp to a charity auction to finally get rid of it, bid on it to encourage others and ended up winning it back.

Last summer I was on vacation in Venice. Over 30 degrees Celsius (86 F) every day. My groin was sweating so much that after walking all day, by the evening the folds of my groin were chafed completely red.

Now I’m planning to go to Italy again. Having learned from last summer’s experiences, I googled how to prevent all that sweating. I found a tip that there’s a super effective antiperspirant called Absolut Torr available at the pharmacy. If you apply it, you won’t sweat for a week. It contains some kind of aluminum that clogs the sweat glands.

According to the instructions, you’re supposed to apply it to a thoroughly cleaned area a couple of hours before going to bed. So, at 10 p.m. I washed up and then applied the stuff to my groin. By 10:10 p.m., I started to feel a slight stinging sensation. I figured it would pass before I went to sleep. By quarter past, it felt like it was burning. I reread the instructions, which said that if the skin is moist, it might sting. I had dried it well, though. Around 10:30, it felt like someone was burning my groin with a flamethrower. Just to be safe, I wrapped my dick in paper towels so it wouldn’t get affected. I cried a little. By 10:45 the pain was unbearable, so I jumped into the shower and tried to wash the stuff off. That’s when I realized what it really means when they say it stings on wet skin—it was like scraping my groin with burning sandpaper.

I opened a bottle of wine and sat naked on the couch, legs spread as wide as possible, with a fan blowing air on my genital area. It didn’t help. The dog sat next to me and stared like I’d gone insane.

Around 4 a.m. the pain started to ease up enough that I could finally go to sleep. Maybe it was because I drank a second bottle of wine.

I recommend it to everyone—it’s really effective!
Can’t wait for the trip.

(I guess I should’ve googled “Absolut Torr experiences.” This is what people say:
“It’s some pretty intense stuff and eventually eats holes into your shirt at the armpits.”

True story.

TL;DR: Prepping for a trip to Italy, I tried Absolut Torr antiperspirant on my groin to avoid last summer's agonizing sweat-chafing. Instead of a sweat-free groin, I ended up with a chemical-burn flamethrower experience at 10 PM. Washing it off made it feel like burning sandpaper. Spent the night naked on the couch with a fan blowing on my junk, drinking two bottles of wine while my dog judged my life choices. Slept at 4 AM. 10/10 experience, can’t wait for Italy.

Oh man where to begin? I'll start by giving you some context, since this story is a wild one. I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years, we're both 24 and I'm a guy. For 4.5 of those years we've lived on her family's property. They have 9 acres and multiple houses, so when I got kicked out at 17 they were kind enough to let me stay with my girlfriends dad in the second house. I do mean that her grandparents let me stay, not her dad, he has no ownership over the property, and has been avoiding eviction for decades before I even moved in. I wasn't aware of this then, but learned over the years when he wouldn't pay the electric bill for months (literally his only bill, we cover WiFi and garbage) and it would get shut off. My girlfriend and I would have to figure out how to find $1,200 out of nowhere, and most of the time we had to rely on her grandparents, who are retired, so their income is limited. They wanted (let's call him Dumbass) Dumbass to leave for years, the evictions i mentioned weren't from a landlord, it was from his own parents. This man worked 12 hour shifts 4 days a week, and is 51 years old, and couldn't pay a single bill. That's the kinda person we're talking about. On top of his financial tomfoolery, he was an addict of numerous things. I won't get into detail, as this story is long enough, but it wasn't as simple as just alcohol or marijuana. Him and I didn't exactly get along, but he had no authority to kick me out, and we knew eviction via the courts would take a while, so my girlfriend and I worked quietly in the background to have him removed via police and a court order.

It's important to know that I have a giant dog. A husky/English mastiff who I love with my entire being, but I will admit she's a lot to deal with. She's dog aggressive, which doesn't matter on such a property, but the grandparents ended up rescuing an older (tiny) dog. I was down at the grandparents house when my dog and the old tiny dog basically squared up with each other. I yelled at my dog, she backed off, and I figured that's the end of that. Apparently dumbass saw them squaring up, and hopped in his car to drive down to us, thinking my big dog was going to attack the little one. To be fair to him, it did look like that, but I had it under control, my dog listened. He rushed down the driveway in his jeep, and jumped out next to us. I didn't even have much time to process what happened, I was in between my dog and him, and he was coming towards her looking ready to fight my dog. As he got close, he reared back his leg to kick her in the face, and on everything I love, I completely blacked out. I don't have any memory of what happened, but when I came back to dumbass was on the ground bleeding from his face, and my fist was bloody and hurt. I'm 6' 1 and 220, he's 5' 6 and 150 on a good day. That's to say there was no real contest as to who'd win, and if I wanted to I could have gotten on top of him and kept going.

I'm a generally very calm person, I was pretty shocked to be in this scenario, and as he started to get back up he lunged for my face, trying to claw out one of my eyes and pulling my hair. I pushed him off of me fairly easily, and when I looked up from wiping my eyes he was pointing his handgun at me. Just then his dad (my girlfriends grandpa) pulled his gun on dumbass, forcing him to put it away. He started yelling, we all started yelling, and then he got in his car and started taking off down the driveway. I figured he was going somewhere to cool off, but I saw my opportunity to get him evicted, I started walking the opposite way up to the house, where my phone was. The plan was to call 911 and report him trying to shoot me. I'm about halfway up to the house when I looked back to see dumbass coming back incredibly quickly in his jeep, so I ran the rest of the way, locked the doors, and called 911. While explaining this whole situation to the dispatcher, he's trying to get in the doors, and I'm just locking them as he unlocks them with his key. This feels like it goes on forever, but then he backs off, and I figure he finally gave up, so I start asking the dispatcher when they think the cops will arrive. Just then I hear a loud noise coming from dumbasses bedroom, and he comes out looking quite pissed. I'm at the front door still, and I almost left the house right there, but my dog was still inside, and I worried that might be a death sentence for her, so after briefly opening the front door, I closed it again and started walking towards dumbass, who was maybe 5 feet from me. He pulled out his gun again, aiming at my chest, and I stopped, putting one hand up, and the other still on the phone with 911. In that moment, I wasn't really scared, I didn't think he'd actually shoot me, I mean come on I've been with his daughter for 6 years and we don't fight, we don't cheat, we're solid as hell. Even if he hates me, he should respect that I truly love his daughter.

Just then he tipped the gun up to be pointing at my face, and in that split second I realized what he was about to do. He pulled the trigger, sending a .45 about 3 feet before entering my face, going through my sideburn, into my eardrum, and stopping in my cerebellum. As far as I remember, it got really loud, then I couldn't hear at all out of the right side of my head, and as I started to fall back I remember thinking "oh shit I'm dead aren't I?" But then I hit the ground, and it hurt. My head started pulsing with pain, and I felt blood pouring out of my ear at an alarming rate. Believe it or not I remained conscious this entire time. I specifically remember dumbass pointing the gun at me again, this time I'm on the ground, and before he can do anything else his dad kicked the door open harder than I knew a 70 year old man could even muster. Immediately he pulled his gun and aimed it at dumbass, stopping him from finishing me, and dumbass starts screaming and crying that he didn't mean to. Grandpa yells something like "you son of a bitch you killed OP!" And I grabbed his leg (I'm laying on the ground) and said "I'm still here actually." I remember the look in his eyes. A mix of relief and absolute horror as his own son just shot me, someone he genuinely prefers over his own son.

I started focusing on using my jacket to block the further blood loss, but I heard dumbass refusing to put the gun down until grandpa nearly shot him. Grandpa forced him to turn himself in to the cops outside, who arrived just after grandpa, and they arrested him. Then a cop came in and asked me if I could get up, and I gotta say what a fuckin idiot, I was just shot in the head and I'm bleeding everywhere but yeah move me before the paramedics get here. I refused, and his supervisor, or someone with clear authority over him started yelling at him to shut up, and that I'm not supposed to move at all. When the paramedics did arrive they couldn't quite get me to the stretcher, so I had to walk to it with the help of half a dozen cops, again I'm a big dude. The rest is fairly difficult to remember, as soon as I got into the ambulance I was pumped full of painkillers, so it's pretty much fog and bits and pieces. The important part is that my brain started hardening around the bullet, so there was no real risk of it moving, and I can walk, talk, and even passed all the little tests the doctors kept doing. After 3 days I was free to go, and much preferred being home anyways. After that I've just been recovering and keeping as stress free as possible ever since.

There's a bit of a plot twist here though: this didn't happen today, or even that recently. It happened in January of this year, so it's been about 9 months since then. So let me update you on what's happened since.

Dumbass took a plea deal but will be in prison for 5 years then probation for a while afterwards. Trust me I know that's some bullshit, even the current DA (who didn't write the deal, the previous one did) agrees with me. The judge gave him the max he could under the deal, and told me and the entire court that dumbass got off light.

As far as my physical health I've been better, but I'm still here. I can play guitar, video games, talk, walk, drive, and I wrote this out myself. While locally I'm a bit of a celebrity for the whole thing (small towns yk) I've never had someone be able to guess that I took a bullet to the brain. I got incredibly lucky. It's not all good though, I struggle to do anything super physically intensive, and even just focusing too long can make me very tired or give me a headache. I'm incredibly grateful, but it's hard to know my physical peak is behind me at 24. Some days are easier than others, and I won't lie I'm incredibly paranoid now, and sleeping has never been so rough, just nightmare after nightmare most of the time, but I'll take that over death.

I know that this story is incredibly hard to believe, so I'm gonna provide a couple pictures of the scans of my brain and me in the hospital. I swear on everything this isn't ai, and it isn't a made up story. This is genuinely something I went through and came out on the other side. If I'm being completely honest I really just wanna be featured on smosh, I've always thought it would be cool, and I was thinking about it, and there's no way surviving getting shot in the face isn't good enough yk? Worst case it was nice to write this out. I can't really afford therapy so I've been reliant on friends, family, and just telling people my story. I hope my finances get better, but tbh I'll likely never work again. Physically and mentally I just don't think it's in the cards anymore. That said, I'm okay, I'm not homeless, and I have a lot of cool stuff that isn't necessary for survival. I'm not living a perfect fantasy life, but I'm pretty damn happy that I'm still here. Thanks for reading.

TL;DR I punched my father in law in the face and he decided the best recourse was shooting me in the face. I survived, and he's in prison.

I have a 9am class that goes until 10:30, so I usually wake up at 8am and then spend 30min getting ready and 30min walking there.

However, for whatever reason, I accidentally set my alarm to 9am the night before. So I wake up the next morning, frequently checking my phone to make sure Im not taking too long getting ready. and at NO point do I register the clock says 9 instead of 8. I do the same thing walking to class and only register the 58 part of 9:58 as im walking up to the building.

I end up walking into the room at 10:05 thinking it’s 9:05, and assume everyone is already sat and listening because I was a bit late and calmly take out my notebook to take notes. this is a very small class of around 20people so it was pretty disruptive. I only realized my mistake when we were let out around 20min later lol.

TL:DR I walked into class an hour late without noticing. Probably didn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things but still embarrassing af.

That's right folks. It's like the start of a shitty porno. I write this from my bed as I contemplate my choices and await rescue.

I was sitting in bed, having a slow morning with the little one watching cartoons. She saw a Hershey kiss through the crack that had fallen under my bed and asked for it. I, the brilliant fucker that I am, reached my arm between my mattress and my headboard to retrieve it. Now, the thing about mattresses is they bend out of the way when you push against them. Fantastic for going in. Trying to pull out? They hug against your arm with the full force of the spring inside. How do I know? My arm pulled out okay until I got to my elbow and I quickly, and painfully realized I was stuck. Being on my belly, in past the elbow, I cannot contort my body to apply weight to release myself. I have access to my phone so I texted for help. Now I wait, feeling like the biggest idiot, with a toddler who gives zero shits for my plight, as the circulation cuts off from my arm.

TL:DR, I stuck my arm between the mattress and the headboard and I cannot get out on my own.

I'm at 36-year-old female, and I've finally got the official diagnoses today for a bunch of parasomnia disabilities. Finally getting confirmation reminded me of why I wanted to get tested in the first place.

This happened on 1/30/2026 at a little before 4:40 AM (will explain why I know that specifically below). I had been going through a rough year the last year, having fallen and hurt my back in June of 2025 to the point that I couldn't work and had to resign in December because it hurt too much to continue my job (cashier and stocker, so constantly on my feet and having to bend down and pick things up). I had been having trouble sleeping from the stress and back pain and now, no longer "having a set purpose" just added to it. I turned to OTC sleep aids and a bit of alcohol to take the edge off of the back pain enough to help me sleep. The night of my FU, I had a very vivid dream (unusual, as I rarely remember my dreams).

I had a dream that I was playing Sea of Thieves with my online streaming community. Including myself, there were six of us on the ship. We were exploring a polar region that they'd just released. As we were sailing out to explore the new area, I noticed a mermaid den and called it out. We stop the boat and start debating on who stays to keep lookout on the ship and who goes to explore and collect resources/treasure/what have you. I volunteer to be part of the exploration team since I'm streaming. Everyone else starts gathering supplies while I'm on the deck. I start climbing over the railing to make my way down when I feel something sharp on my leg. I look down, and there's a cat with its front paws in my leg. I call out and say something like "Very funny, which one of your pets is attacking me?" I get no response, so I look up. No one's on the ship. I try to move, but the cat starts meowing loudly at me.

I'm trying to figure out what's going on, when I notice that the cat has no name above its head. Then I see the health bar on the HUD hasn't changed, but my leg clearly hurts. My brain goes "Wait... hurts?"

I think I start to blink myself awake at this point, because everything starts changing each time I blink trying to make sense of things; the ship becomes the porch/balcony of the apartment, my clothes turn into my sleepwear (oversized tee-shirt and sweatpants), the strange cat turns into my tortoiseshell cat, Evee, who has got her claws in my pant leg and my other leg is lifted up over the railing. I kinda just freeze, blinking stupidly and still half-asleep, thinking "what the fuck just happened", when Evee starts yell meowing again. Autopilot takes over as I carefully climb back down, walk inside with Evee, shut the door, give Evee some food to shut her up (she has me wrapped around her paw), then head back to the bedroom. As all this is happening, all the pieces start to fit into place, like someone rewinding an old VHS tape. I'm halfway to the bedroom when the revelation hits me. I turn to my cat and ask "Hey... did I... like, almost die just now?" Evee stares at me judgingly and is maddeningly mute at my query.

I went to our community's Discord and post a question to one of the members still awake. This is how I know the approximate time of my FU, thanks Discord time stamps.

"Hey, random question, Rare didn't put out a new ice area for SoT, did they?"

"Uhh... no? Why?"

"...I think my cat just saved my life."

I sit on the bed trying to wrap my head around things while Evee is just nonchalantly loafing at the foot of the bed. With how fantastical the events sound, I half wondered if I dreamt the whole thing. Then I see the rip in my pant leg and realize that truth is sometimes stranger than fiction.

I remembered this story and told my friend who had been awake at the time about getting diagnosed, and they suggested that I put this story here.

TL;DR: I nearly Peter Pan-ed off my balcony while sleepwalking, only to be saved by my gluttonous cat wanting food.

Over the weekend, I decided to work on a small home improvement project to add a bit of greenery to my bedroom. My bedroom has no windows or natural light, so I thought it could benefit from the addition.

I decided to put up a floating shelf above my headboard and completed the project on Saturday night. I spent Sunday morning picking out some plants from a local nursery that can thrive in dimly-lit areas, settling on some small ones that would fit on the shelf. When I was finished, I was really pleased with the results.

Unfortunately, I forgot to account for my cat.

When I got home from work on Monday, I noticed that the plants seemed a bit closer to the edge of the shelf, but got distracted before putting them back in their original position.

You can probably see where this is going.

At around 5am this morning, I was woken up my one of my potted plants crashing down off of my shelf and making a glancing blow off of my eyebrow. If I wasn’t a side sleeper, I think I’d be in much worse shape.

Apparently my cat has decided that my new floating shelf was the newest surface that had to be explored, and that the plants were merely obstacles that need to moved out of the way so she properly do so.

While I have no doubt that the room is far more interesting from a 3 foot higher vantage point, her latest endeavor has left me with a ruined plant, stained sheets, and a rapidly growing black eye.

I’m sure she considers that a small price to pay for her expedition.

Tl:dr: My cat decided to explore my new floating shelf and now I’m researching black eye-related Halloween costumes.

This actually happened a couple of years ago, but still mortifies me to this day. The names aren't real, but they are even more similar!

A new guy, let's call him Dan, had joined our small company (around 20 people) a couple of months ago. We both shared some interests and work connected us even though we were on different departments, so naturally we talked quite often.

One day, a senior at my company calls me to her office and tells me that Dan's birthday is tomorrow and we should get him something. Knowing he likes One Piece, I suggest that we buy him a One Piece tshirt, the perfect gift right?

So after work that day, I go to a store that sells anime merch, buy the tshirt, wrap it as a gift and put it in my backpack for tomorrow.

As a tradition, to celebrate each birthday, we all got together in our meeting room, set up everything (lights, snacks, music, gift etc.) and then asked the person who celebrated his birthday to come last.

As we're setting things up, Dan enters the meeting room as one of the first people, completely unbothered by us setting everything up. I look at him confused, and then it dawns on me: there's another employee called Daniel (not his real name), who everyone also calls Dan. Guy is in his 30s, has no idea of what anime is, and it's HIS birthday.

Lights go out, we call Daniel, he comes into the room, and we give him the gift, while I'm trying to hide among everyone else, as if this wasn't my fault.

Daniel unpacks his gift, takes out the tshirt and looks at the pirates symbol and goes "oh, that's a nice tshirt". And in that moment, Dan approaches him and says, "oh, I didn't know you also liked One Piece." Meanwhile, I am sitting there all red, thinking "he DEFINITELY doesn't know what One Piece even is".

Got out of the room as soon as I could. Still cringe when I remember it.

TL;DR: Someone tells me it's Dan's birthday. Knowing him better, I decide to buy him an anime tshirt. Turns out it was actually Daniel's birthday, who doesn't even know what anime is.

I never ever leave my gate unlocked. This morning I accidentally forgot to close it behind my husband like I normally do — I let my dogs out to use the bathroom, and as you can imagine. They got out. 2 of 3 got out because an amazing woman driving by stopped her car to lure one of them back into the yard. My thoughtful neighbor helped find the other two. My gate is rarely ever left open.. so you can imagine how panicked I was. I immediately start screaming their names, grabbed the cowbell i use to call them inside. My corgi girl has good recall, so she came back, but she was coming from pretty far.. i had hope I would find her brother but knew it would be much harder—Puerto Rican street dog that loves to roam, but always knows his way back home. Will he come on his own if I don’t find him? I wasn’t sure.. but I didn’t give up. I’m in the car driving around calling his name, and my angel neighbor calls and says he got him (found him bothering chickens, very puerto rican of him)

This isn’t a story about my failure to double check the gate like I normally do. This is about how good people still exist. A woman that stopped her car to close my gate after putting my dog back… and a man who jumped into action to help me find them. I’ve thanked them plenty of times enough.. but I might have to bake a thank you dish or something lol. I DO live in a town where dogs get loose often, so maybe it’s just the culture of the town to be neighborly when that happens, but still. I’m just so grateful.

TLDR: accidentally left my gate opened, my dogs got out, but my incredible neighbors helped gather all 3. I’m so lucky.

TIFU by thinking a friend had died, sending her a memorial message, and only discovering months later that she was alive.

For context, I'll call my friends Morgan, Alex, Jamie, and Taylor. All five of us attended the same university, and I think Morgan, Jamie, and Taylor also went to high school together.

I was close to Morgan during college but only ever as friends, dating never became a consideration for either of us. She eventually met Alex in college and started dating him, and they were together for what may have been around 12 years.

After college, Morgan and Alex became involved in a LARP group. For anyone unfamiliar with LARP, it stands for live-action role-playing, where people physically act out characters in a fictional setting.

I followed the group's Facebook page and Discord because I was interested in joining, but I never quite worked up the courage to try it myself. This wasn't just a few people meeting in a park with foam swords, either. The group had elaborate costumes, a fleshed-out fantasy setting with its own official map, and a large player base. Some participants even operated as vendors.

It looked like a whole fantasy world that people had put a tremendous amount of work into building. I thought it was fascinating, but as someone who'd never participated in anything like it, the idea of walking into that established community and figuring out how everything worked was intimidating. So I followed along from a distance instead, thinking I might join once I understand it more.

Morgan and Alex lived in a fairly rural area, had farm animals, and Morgan owned a thoroughbred horse. I only visited them a couple of times because they lived pretty far away.

Neither of them was particularly active on social media. Morgan occasionally shared her art, but not much about her personal life, and Alex barely posted anything at all. At some point, Morgan decided to step away from social media. Her profiles remained online, but she stopped using them.

Then, in May 2025, Alex passed away. There was an obituary and a GoFundMe posted to Morgan's FB profile, so I know that part of the story wasn't something I imagined. By that point, he and Morgan were engaged.

Sometime around August 2025, I somehow became convinced that Morgan had died, too.

I thought Jamie had told me through a Facebook message about her passing, but I remembered the news being kept relatively private, without an obituary being posted to Morgan's Facebook page. In my recollection, the funeral had already happened by the time I learned about it.

There was just one problem: none of that had actually happened. Morgan hadn't actually passed away.

I still don't know exactly how I acquired this false memory but I have two theories. One is that I dreamed Morgan had died and the dream was so realistic that I later remembered it as an actual event. The other is that I mixed her up with a former high school classmate of mine who really did die by suicide about a month after her fiancé passed away. I can verify both of those deaths through their obituaries.

My best guess is that my brain took a real tragedy, combined it with a dream, and somehow manufactured a memory that Morgan had died as well.

And I believed it.

For months, I occasionally thought about Morgan and felt sad that she was gone. I had so many good memories of her that I wanted to send her a private message honoring her memory, even though I hadn't learned about her supposed death until sometime after the funeral.

On April 16, 2026, I finally sent that message. It was on what would have been Alex's next birthday. I wrote about how sad I was that Morgan had died, how much I regretted not finding out until after the funeral, and some of my favorite memories of her. She really was a remarkable person, and I wanted to say something meaningful about her even though I knew nobody would read it.

Except, of course, she was alive.

I didn't find that out until September 2026, when I decided to look up the obituaries for Alex and Morgan. I found Alex's, naturally, but nothing for Morgan. Nothing on her Facebook page or anywhere else suggested she had passed.

I messaged our mutual friend Jamie, who I thought had originally told me about Morgan's death. She had absolutely no recollection of that conversation and thought Morgan was probably still alive, although she hadn't heard from her in a long time. I couldn't find the conversation I thought we'd had, either.

Then I asked Taylor, another close friend of both Morgan and I, and he was equally confused. He hadnt heard from her in a while either but didn't know anything about her passing away.

Then Jamie mentioned that she'd spotted a Venmo payment from Morgan dated May 1, 2026. That was two weeks after I'd sent my memorial message. Unless somebody else had been using Morgan's account, she had apparently been alive and making payments after I'd supposedly learned she was dead. There hadnt been another public Venmo payment after that date.

At this point, I was seriously questioning my memory.

I'd sent a heartfelt memorial message to a living person. Worse, because it was a private message, I couldn't simply delete it and pretend the whole thing had never happened. If she ever got back on Facebook, she would see it and I would have to explain.

Mortified, I sent Morgan a few dollars through Venmo and an apology for getting things mixed up, with a note suggesting she buy herself a coffee on me. I didn't explain what I was apologizing for, because I was still trying to figure out what the hell had happened.

So Morgan had received a memorial message from someone who thought she was dead, followed months later by a small Venmo payment telling her to buy herself a coffee, with no explanation for either one. But I still felt like I needed more definitive proof.

Then I remembered another mutual friend, someone I'd met through Morgan but didn't know particularly well. Still, we were connected through Facebook and she was an active user so it was worth a shot. This friend hadn't spoken to Morgan recently, either, but knew that Morgan was still active on the LARP Discord.

THE LARP DISCORD.

The group I'd followed for years, then forgotten about completely.

I rejoined the server, and it was bustling with activity. I spotted someone whose comments sounded like Morgan, although she was using a different username from the one I remembered. Then I saw a photo she'd shared of herself the previous day.

It was her.

She was alive.

I finally had visual confirmation that my friend hadn't died, and that was enough for me. I didn't message her again or try to explain the bizarre situation out of nowhere.

TL;DR: I spent months believing a friend had died, mourned her privately, sent her a heartfelt memorial message, and then discovered that I'd somehow invented the entire event. I even sent her an unexplained apology payment before finding the Discord account that finally resolved the mystery.

I'm still embarrassed by the whole thing. I spent a year carrying around grief that, in this particular case, never needed to exist.

At least I eventually found out she was alive. Now I just have to live with the knowledge that in her inbox is a memorial message from a friend who accidentally convinced himself she'd died.

Edit: i just wanted to add that I will be messaging her, I just wanted a couple of days between joining the Discord and reaching out to her there.

Yes, I still consider us friends, she's just gone off the grid so the ways I used to communicate with her were no longer an option. People don't stop being friendly just because their lives haven't crossed in a while.

I used to be afraid of dogs. I have been attacked multiple times as a child and young adult by loose dogs that I was trying my best to avoid. But, I thought I got over it. One of my roommates had a very sweet corgi, and we got along fine. One of my best friends has two big shaggy dogs and we get along fine. My parents have a big shepherd and we get along fine. I am still more of a cat person, but I am fine with dogs.

This morning, I was walking to a nearby food truck for some breakfast. I round a corner and there's a loose dog beside the sidewalk right in front of me, like 10 feet away. It's big, it has a collar, it's snuffling around in the grass facing away from me. Its owner is not immediately present.

I don't know if it was the surprise of seeing a dog when I wasn't expecting it or what, but I could feel my heart rate go up and I found myself crossing to the other side of the street without even making a conscious decision to do so.

Then this nice-looking older lady came jogging up, clearly bedraggled and out of breath. She had a leash looped around in her hands. For some reason, when she got close, the dog looked up at her, then at me, and just started sprinting towards me. I don't know why, but my blood just went cold and I started backing up against someone's fence. The owner yelled out to me, "Sir, can you grab him please?" The dog gets to me and starts snuffling at my feet. I have my back up against the fence and I'm on my tiptoes. She yells out that he's friendly and won't bite.

I'm standing there in front of this big friendly dog. He's clearly not going to bite me. He's just sniffing my shoes and wagging his tail. This old lady is clearly exhausted from chasing after this big dog that got away from her. I feel stupid. I can just reach out and grab this dog's collar and save her a lot of grief. But I also feel stupid for being a grown man backed up against a fence to get away from this big friendly guy. Somehow, I feel like I have to justify that cowardice with something substantial. I just blurt out, "I don't like dogs!" and stay frozen against the fence.

The dog loses interest and bounds off as the owner gets close. She apologizes to me as she keeps chasing him, which just makes me feel worse.

So now I'm going to spend the day wrestling with the fact that I just made some poor old lady's day worse, possibly make her think she terrified somebody with a phobia of dogs, and hope that she managed to catch the dog eventually without either of them getting hurt. All because I tried to justify my cowardice by pretending to have a phobia that I don't have.

Tl;dr: I realized I was being foolish by backing away from a nice old lady's loose dog and pretended to have a dog phobia instead of helping her.

Basically someone that works there (and I know from my town) called me from a friend of mine to ask if I’m interested in subscribing to them to get offers from different places (I did because i never heard of them but said “hey my friend subscribed and her cousin called me so I guess it’s cool” but that’s not the point), then asked me repeatedly for friends numbers. At first I didn’t bother, but next day straight up from the morning she texted me to not forget sending her, so I just sent her one that popped to my mind

Later my friend texted me that he’s mad and I should never do that (which i know but God I wanted her to stop asking me).

TLDR: I sent my friend’s number to a company that repeatedly calls people to promote their stuff without asking him.

This is my first ever Reddit post so bare with me. I was talking to and seeing a man I met on hinge and it was going extremely well. I told my friends I had never felt like this towards a man. My past is not good with relationships and I’ve only had 2 (27 f). He was safe, he listened to me and validated my feelings. I’m notorious for not liking physical touch but I noticed I wanted to be touching him all the time. He communicated very well. Our first date he bought a game called “let’s get deep” so we could get to know each other better. He referred to me as his girlfriend and told his dad about me. All of a sudden like 2 weeks down the line it seems like he switch’s up. He was responding less, hours in between texts, no longer called or FaceTimed me. Was not planning dates or even asking or planning to see me in person again. I brought it up over text 2 times asking how he was feeling about us and his response was “all is well my love” so I asked what that meant and I was left in delivered from 7 pm to when I messaged and ended things at 5 am. Here’s the part that I regret and wonder if I fucked up. I texted him “thanks for wasting my time🖤” and blocked him for a few hours before I unblocked him. Part of me feels good because I wasn’t getting anything from him anymore and he had switched up out of nowhere. I feel bad for how I handled it and now I’m regretting it. Should I have given more time and patience, would it have changed things? Was this me self-sabotaging again? What if he is the one and I ran away? I guess I’m just looking to vent and validation that I did the right thing or I in fact did self sabotage something that could’ve been great?

TL/DR: did I fuck up a potential relationship because I was self sabotaging and ran away.

My mom has this really old photo of her dad standing outside the little grocery store he used to run. It's faded, has a crease through the middle and she's kept it in the same frame for years.

I thought it'd be a nice surprise to restore it for her birthday. Scanned it, used one of those AI photo restoration tools and ordered a large framed print. Looked amazing to me.

Gave it to her over the weekend and she seemed happy at first, then got really quiet.

She pointed out that the software had straightened his crooked front tooth, removed a scar above his eyebrow and slightly changed his smile.

I barely noticed any of that. She noticed immediately.

She said those were some of the things she remembered most clearly about his face. Then she put the original photo back on the shelf next to the new one.

I feel like an idiot because I spent all that time making a photo look better without realizing I was changing the person in it.

I've ordered another print using the original scan, with all the scratches and imperfections left alone.

TL;DR: Tried to surprise my mom with a restored picture of her late father, but the AI changed his facial features and I basically gave her a picture of someone who never existed.

You could say I’m a type B person, which is necessary to understand how this poor planning occurred.

Story takes place earlier this year in the Bay Area.

I’d take monthly personal trips to Florida, often booking flights in advance to save money. I worked in tech and had a flexible schedule. My lease was coming up so I found a new place a month ahead of my move out date. Scheduled movers. All good, except for one small detail: I never bothered to add things to my personal calendar. Including my move.

Small digression bc it helps add context to that week: On the morning of my flight out of SFO, I marched with a cute guy and wanted to meet him. Flight was at 4pm, had plenty of time to kill. He drives over, he’s cute, vegetarian. I lose track of time, almost miss my flight but he drives me to the airport. Nice!

Days later I’m chilling in Florida, out at lunch with a friend. I received a text saying “Hi, we’re downstairs for your 9am appointment”. I’m like oh fuck, what the fuck. I’m supposed to be moving out today.

So I text back “sorry, can’t meet you downstairs. I’m in Florida right now” and then handle the date adjustment with the landlords.

TL;DR I forgot I was moving out of my apartment in San Francisco, ended up on a personal trip to Florida. Had to deal with the bureaucracy of adjusting move out / move in days with angry landlords.

So I’m honestly not much of a baker. Recently I’ve been trying to get more into it. I started with some basic stuff, lemon blueberry bars (which were fantastic), pumpkin cheesecake cookies (let them sit in the fridge for a day and you will eat a whole dozen).

I wanted to try cheesecake next especially since I have the week off and can just chow on it thru the week. I LOVE cheesecake so much but store bought is kinda sad. My mom makes cheesecakes perfectly and when I asked for her recipe she told me to just google it and I did just that.

I got online and found a good recipe for a cinnamon roll cheesecake. I’ve been planning on this for a week, wrote the recipe out, translated all the measurements to grams, went to the store and bought a new pan. I think altogether I have spent nearly $50 on this cheesecake.

In my tiny kitchen I mixed and measured for nearly two whole hours, put it in the pan and popped it in the oven.

Right as I sit down, I realize I don’t even know what a water bath does. I start googling it and that leads me to a Reddit post where they talk about the water leaking and ruining the crust, making it soggy. I did not know the water isn’t supposed to actually touch the pan and I just kinda poured the water carelessly around the foil and whatnot. Honestly I thought the foil was just supposed to be there to help hold the heat.

My cheesecake is in the oven now as we speak and I think I’m in denial because I will probably be devastated when it is all said and done.

TLDR; I have probably ruined my first cheesecake because I didn’t understand the very last step.

I was driving slowly on a gravel / back road, no cars nearby, both sides of the road fenced off for the livestock - what could happen, right?

I was looking up from my phone every now and then to make sure I'm not driving off the road and that's when I saw a beautiful pheasant walking right under my back wheel...

I slammed on the breaks but still slid about a meter or so and it was too late.

I jumped out of the car and looked back to see the poor bird all messed up, but still moving on the ground, and in that split decision I thought to just end his misery and drive over him again. Then I saw his Mrs on the side of the road - looking back at me. I burst into tears and still crying, and I can't forgive myself.

I swear to never be on my phone while driving again, no matter how slow I'm going.

I'm so so so sorry....

TL;DR: I was looking at my phone when driving and killed a beautiful bird. I suck.

I have always took pride in my kindness and today I fucked up.

I ordered food (edut: a poutine for context not groceries! I wouldn't let them walk up the stairs with groceries) to my new apartment, it's two flights up and I really didn't wanna walk down and up them so I put in the instructions that I wanted them to come up

I was on the phone with my partner and I got a message from the Uber driver that he was outside, I thought he meant OUT SIDE of my apartment building so I started complaining to my partner about how they didn't follow the instructions and how I was frustrated about it.

I opened the door of my apartment and Boom, he was right there..

He looked so nice and I felt absolutely HORRIBLE that I was just openly talking shit about him, especially after he had just walked up the stairs and back down.

I wanted to send a message to apologize but I 1. Can't message after the order is complete 2. (Even if I could) Didn't want to say anything in case her DIDNT hear me.

I know this isn't the biggest fuck up but it definitely was for me and I needed to get it out there for my own sanity:(( I'm so sorry Uber driver guy

This will sit on my conscience for a minute...

TL;DR

I was mean to driver cause I misunderstood him

He was outside my door while I was talking shit and might've heard me

(edit:)

I should have originally posted this as well

I tipped larger than normal because I wanted them to come upstairs

I never make my Uber drivers come up, I have always come downstairs

the reason why I wanted them to come upstairs that day was because I had moved in that day and had to move all of my stuff up and down those stairs and my legs were on FIRE

I also ended up tipping him more after the incident

but the whole thing still makes me feel so sick to my stomach:((

TLDR - I saw my ex-bf at a party and said mean things about him.

(not actually today but idk where else to ask for advice on this) Last weekend, I (19f) went to a party and before the party I pregamed wayyy to hard. On the way to the party, about a 30 minute drive, i found out my ex-bf (20m) was going to be there. I started repeating "why the f is my ex-bf here?" Thank GOD I stopped saying it before I walked to the house. My ex was outside and I went inside and then started to say some more really mean things. I was hurt because he lowk played in my face for 4 months. I loved this person just to find out that he had zero romantic feelings for me.

After waking up the next morning I reached out to a few friends who were at the party to asked what happened and debrief. They ended up telling me the mean things I said and I was MORTIFIED. I try to present myself as a kind and caring person and my actions were a terrible representation of my character.

At school (we go to school together and have a lot of classes together) I talked and apologized for my actions. He accepted my apology, but was still hurt by my words (understandable). This is still someone I adore and would want to have in my life as friends. I know if this were to be a possibility then a lot of time would need to pass.

I have spent time during passed few days to reflect and reevaluate myself. Am I a terrible person?

I went out for a friend's birthday on Saturday. A guy I'll call Alex was there. We've had a bit of a thing going on for a while. We flirt and cuddle sometimes, and there's clearly some sort of connection, but we've never discussed exclusivity or agreed to be in a relationship.

Later that night, four of us, including me, a guy I'll call Ben, and two friends I'll call Chloe and Daniel, ended up sharing a hotel room. Ben and I hooked up. I performed oral sex on him, and he fingered me. Chloe and Daniel were doing their own thing.

Before going out, I'd promised myself that I would have a chilled night and avoid getting into situations that might leave me feeling uncomfortable afterwards. I ended up doing the opposite, and I've been struggling with how I feel about that decision ever since.

I'm also self-conscious about the physical side of the encounter. I hadn't shaved or groomed my pubic hair, and after being out all night, I felt sweaty and musky down there. I've been replaying the encounter and worrying about whether Ben noticed, whether he found my natural smell unpleasant, and whether it affected his attraction to me. I know these are things I can't establish just by thinking about them, but I keep returning to them.

The following day, the four of us went out for food. During the conversation, Daniel said that I give off "cheating vibes". When I asked why, he couldn't explain it and just repeated that I gave him those vibes.

Daniel knows about my connection with Alex, and Ben was present when he made the comment. Chloe later suggested that Daniel might have been indirectly referring to my situation with Alex. I don't know whether that was his intention, but the comment offended me and has added to my discomfort about the whole situation. Daniel was also present in the hotel when Ben and I hooked up, so he knows what happened.

One of my biggest worries is that Ben or Daniel might tell the other men in their friendship group about the encounter. I keep imagining what might be said in their group chat, whether intimate details will be shared, and whether I'll become the subject of jokes or be labelled a slut or slag. I have no confirmation that anyone has discussed it, but I keep constructing scenarios in my head and finding it difficult to leave them alone.

The situation with Ben's Instagram has made this considerably worse:

I requested to follow Ben on Instagram, but the request disappeared. I sent another request to see what would happen, and that one disappeared too. It seems that he may be declining or removing my requests, although I don't know why.

My mind immediately went to the encounter itself and whether he regretted it, found me unattractive or had been put off by my body. I've also wondered whether he's avoiding contact because of something else going on in his life.

My friends suspect that Ben might have a girlfriend or even a fiancee. before when we were still hanging out, I asked him about having a girlfriend or fiancee, he denied it. i heard through someone else that he has a girl (im not sure if it was him they were talking about because we were all very drunk at the time, but if i had concrete evidence i would never have hooked up with him). However, people who know him and are familiar with his history believe he may be involved with someone despite what he told me. They say he has a reputation for cheating.

Their suspicions aren't based solely on his general reputation. On New Year's Eve, another woman in our wider social circle apparently kissed Ben. His girlfriend at the time subsequently messaged that woman to ask whether anything had happened between them. I don't know all the details of that incident, but my friends see it as a reason to question how honest Ben is about his relationships.

I'm now wondering whether he has a partner and is removing my requests to avoid having a connection with me visible to her. Equally, I don't know whether his Instagram behaviour has anything to do with his relationship status or the hookup. He denied having a girlfriend or fiancée when I asked, so I'm unsure how much weight to give my friends' suspicions. Chloe said when we were in the hotel, Ben's phone kept going off and he apparently kept showing Daniel his phone or something.

This has left me feeling uncomfortable about the possibility that I might have been involved with someone who wasn't honest with me. It has also added another layer to the uncertainty surrounding his behaviour.

Then there's Alex. Because he and Ben are part of the same wider social circle, I'm worried that the encounter might get back to him. I care about Alex and though we are not together at all, we have kissed and cuddled in front of others several times on nights out, but we've never discussed exclusivity. I haven't agreed to be faithful to him, and we aren't officially together. Nevertheless, I'm worried that hearing about the hookup might change how he sees me or affect how much he respects me as a person, or if it gets back to the other guys in their group, how they will perceive me.

I recognise that some of this anxiety comes from caring about someone's opinion even when the relationship hasn't been defined. I also recognise that I may be placing too much importance on how the men involved might perceive me, but I'm finding it difficult to change how I feel about it.

I told my mum a little about what happened because I was struggling. Rather than feeling supported, I felt interrogated. She said that I'd ruined my reputation because I have kissed other guys before on nights out. (not multiple guys in one night, and they arent in this group, but i have kissed people on nights out before)

That comment has really affected me. It made me question how I'm perceived by other people and whether my behaviour is inconsistent with the kind of person I want to be. I've been feeling ashamed about the hookup itself, and her reaction has intensified that feeling.

I think part of my distress comes from having acted differently from how I intended to behave that night. I wanted a relaxed evening and had set a personal boundary for myself, but I didn't stick to it. I'm trying to work out whether my regret is about the decision itself, the possibility of gossip, how Alex sees me or what he might hear, or the way I'm imagining other people judging me. my other friend Harriet said I am overthinking things immensely, and she knows the two guys from the hotel from uni. She said the one I hooked up with is a known cheater, and everyone knows he gets with girls and ghosts them after so his girl doesn't find out. I didn't know this before. Another one of my friends just told me he and his girl are always making up or breaking up, so it's most likely they are currently back together. She also said he lacks respect for her and women in general.

Since Saturday, I've been caught in a cycle of rumination. I replay conversations, analyse Ben's Instagram behaviour, wonder whether Daniel's comment was directed at me in a shady way (even though he knows his friend Ben cheats on his girl and then he has the nerve to say i give cheater vibes even though I am single?), and imagine what might be said about me in the friendship group. I also keep returning to the possibility that Ben has a girlfriend or fiancée and questioning what that would mean about the encounter.

My anxiety has become difficult to manage. I'm struggling to eat, my sleep is broken, I feel nauseous, and I'm finding it hard to concentrate or function normally. I spend a lot of time trying to work out what other people might know or think, even though much of the situation remains unclear.

I'm not looking to have every possibility ruled out or to be told that nobody will judge me. I know I can't control what other people say or think, whether Ben wants further contact, or how Alex might react if he hears about the encounter. What I'm struggling with is how much mental energy I'm spending trying to anticipate and prepare for every possible outcome.

I'd appreciate advice from people who've dealt with similar situations, particularly around the following:

• ⁠How do you manage rumination when you don't know whether people are gossiping about you or what someone else's behaviour means?
• ⁠How do you reflect on a decision that went against your own intentions without turning it into a judgement about your character?
• ⁠How would you approach the possibility that someone you hooked up with may have been dishonest about their relationship status, especially when you have conflicting information?
• ⁠How do you stop feeling consumed by the possibility of being judged by someone you're interested in and their wider friendship group?

I'm trying to take responsibility for my own choices, establish what boundaries I want going forward, and find a healthier way of dealing with uncertainty and embarrassment. At the moment, I'm struggling to do that without replaying the entire night and imagining the worst possible outcomes.

TL;DR: I hooked up with Ben at a friend’s birthday and have felt anxious and ashamed since. I’m worried he may tell others, that people will judge or label me, and how Alex, someone I’m involved with but not exclusive with, might react. I’m also embarrassed that I smelled quite sweaty that night and keep worrying that Ben noticed. Ben’s repeated removal of my Instagram requests and rumors that he cheats or has a girlfriend have intensified my paranoia, though I didn’t know beforehand. Hurtful comments from Daniel and my mum have worsened my fear of ruining my reputation. How can I stop ruminating, handle uncertainty and regret without self-judgment, and care less about others’ opinions?

TIFU by locking my lock in my locker at work. Lets set the scene before I explain what happened.

I'm an activities aide in a nursing home

Boss out of town for the whole week

I was by myself with 70+ residents all week

Everything went perfectly perfectly all week till this. I was provided a lock and key from my boss for my work locker. Not a problem till today. On days I would forget my key I would just lay my lock on the locker and not actually close it and lock it. Well, today I accidentally locked it despite not having my key. I thought I forgot it in my purse which was in my locker, turns out it was at home, either way, I didn't have it. I then had to decide do I try to get help to open it, do I call my boss on vacation to tell her what happen and ask her where the spare key is, given that I knew there is one or call my dad who worked in the building next to mine that he will have to take me home since I couldn't drive. Well, fast forward, I spent the whole shift trying to open it. I did still do my job, I did accomplish what I wanted to accomplish today despite this problem so, thats good. I called a locksmith but they were trying to get me to pay $150 for them to come out there and cut it off and I didn't wanna destroy the lock either if I didn't have to especially since my boss paid for the lock not me, so, I turned their offer down. They then called back and offered $100 and I turned that down too. But, after many many failed attempts to call my boss, and unlock the lock myself I had to face the music, I most likely won't get this situation fixed until tomorrow when she got back from her vacation. So, I decided to make the call to my dad at 3:30 (I get out at 4:30) and tell my dad the situation and tell him I'll need to walk down to his office and go home with him since we weren't able to get the lock off. Luckily the front desk receptionist was able to get into the maintenance office and get bolt cutters and cut it off. I am forever grateful but, this situation was definitely stressful because while I was still able to semi do my job, it was just overly stressful given that I couldn't reach anyone on the outside for help and I was slowly but surely running out of time time figure this out. Definitely won't be using a lock and key as a lock ever again. TL;DR: today I fucked up by locking my lock in my locker and I eventually just cut it off and hoped my boss won't be mad for damaging her property.

This happened a while ago, but I still laugh and cringe every time I think about it.
I taught my friend what I claimed was a super polite Chinese phrase for "have a nice day." In reality, I taught him "草泥马" (cǎonímǎ), which literally translates to "motherf***er" (famous Chinese internet meme insult).
He memorized it, practiced his pronunciation, and was genuinely excited to use it to be respectful.
Fast forward a few days: we went to an authentic Chinese restaurant. Everything went great, the food was amazing, and service was top tier. As we were walking out, my friend decided it was his time to shine.
He walked up to our waiter AND the manager at the front desk, looked them dead in the eye with the biggest, most wholesome smile, and loudly said "Cǎonímǎ!" expecting a warm response.
The room went dead silent. The manager’s jaw dropped, and the waiter looked like he wanted to fight us right then and there. Before my friend could even realize what was happening, the manager ushered us out and politely informed us that we are never allowed back in that establishment.
My friend was completely confused until I broke down laughing outside and had to explain what he actually said. He hasn't trusted a single word I've taught him since.
TL;DR: Taught my friend an extreme Chinese insult telling him it meant "have a nice day". He enthusiastically shouted it at the manager and waiter on our way out of a Chinese restaurant, getting us permanently banned.

Not really today but three days ago this happened. But im going to add the extra information that will probably make me sound a bit like an ass but its important.

Ill lay out some names youll see and who they are now. (All fake)
Ex bf- M Wayne straight 22. Best friend- F lesbian Ash 19. Me- F me bi 20. Best friends ex/situation- F Ohio bi 22?23?? (Im unsure tbh)

About a month ago i broke up with my boyfriend Wayne of a year due to his ignorance and weaponised incompetence. It was a long distance relationship i met the guy gaming. He lived a state away. Me and him met up twice once me to his and once his to me. The relationship itself was okay. It was a nice first relationship but Wayne had his problems and i had mine. Mine was that i didnt know how to be an individual while with him and i had a bit of a sore loser bone, and his was that he had a porn and sex problem, ignoring me for games and just being very stupid (which i liked i found it funny.. to a point.) and waistful.(he once threw out two EXPENSIVE ASS STEAKS because he couldnt get them to be cooked enough… STEAK…) and just no ambition at all. I saw him try and actually get one job the entire time i dated him. I had tried to break up the relationship in August and he kinda refused to let us break up. It then ended in September

Before i had broken up with him i had recently started hanging out with Ash again. It had been a while since we had properly hung out due to my boyfriend being aware of her and mine having previously had feeling for each other but nothing come of it because we were in high school.

Me and Her started to hang out and i realised how i was feeling about my romance situation because i had been kinda locked away in phone calls with Wayne for almost a year every day, i could tell how uncomfortable i became in social interactions. And that wasn’t me at all.

I ended up having a few different conversations with Ash about how i was feeling in my relationship and how i was basically being ignored even when trying to get out of the relationship a month prior. She helped me realise that what Wayne was doing wasn’t okay and he cant just force me to stay with him.

So thing ended and my days continued i decided i was bored and I’ve been sat in a discord server call for 457 hours as of writing this. Ash has been helping me keep it open. Idk why I’m doing that but it’s important. Since the break up me and Ash have hung out more and more in person. They were in a situationsip with an ex and she did not like me, Ash would come over or id go to hers and we would hang for me to find out that Ohio didn’t even know i was there. (I wont lie and say that it doesn’t kinda flatter me that someone finds me worth being jealous about and it eats at me slightly)

Ash started to get more… sweet. A bit more gentle with me. Staring for longer than she needed. And her eyes.. lets just say she doesn’t keep them to herself often (hehehe I’ve caught her way to many times then i can count) anyways but she was getting sus.. and i took note but i didnt want to point it out. So Ash did. By just blatantly telling me “you know i have a crush on you right? Just i know how you are and i want to be direct and make that clear.” I was caught of guard but was kinda aware. I mean if her telling me she had a sex dream for the first time in a really long time and it was about me and not the ex she was “in love” with.

This is where i think the fuck upery starts… she goes to a party and i start to be a bit of a brat to her over text. Responding with the classic “make me” and thats where things really changed. The flirting on the call became a bit more intense and real. We hung out about two or three times after her party with nothing happening. Just my mind filled with all the things that could happen in the silence between me and her.

I get a message while im alone in the call. “Talking to her about being just friends” and i mean come on ominous as fuck but i didnt need anymore clarification i knew what it meant. She was doing what i had been telling her she needed to do the moment i heard about how Ohio treats her. (Like a sex object and like shes only there when she wants attention and when she had her full you can find your own way) that was last Tuesday.

Last Friday the new Ali G movie come out and we planned to hang out and then go see the movie coming back to mine to hang out and have a sleep over. Ash was getting paid the same day and didnt get paid til late in the night. So we had the sleep over and pushed the movie to the next day.

Everything changed that night. (Im gonna set the scene up for you)

I sit on my bed and across from it i have a chair. Ash usually sits in the chair and i sit on my bed. I could tell that she was a bit uncomfortable so i said we can swap. She sits on my bed i sit in the chair. We watch some Ted and smoke some weed, drink a bit of alcohol and relax.

Im making fun of her for laying down and continuing to say shes not going to fall asleep on my bed. Which she does. I end up watching a movie with my uncle out in my lounge room while Ash sleeps. I head back into my room once the movie and the episode of tv we watched were done, making a bed on the floor out of couch back cushions some pillows and a blanket (it looked as pathetic as your imagining) shes now awake.

We sit there talking and eventually just kinda both laying our heads on the edge of my bed looking at each other. It was the first time in a while i haven’t been instantly self conscious when someone looked at me. We do that maybe twice before we start playfully fighting a flip off war i eventually jokingly go to bite or lick i cant even remember what i was doing all i remember was her hand almost grabbing my neck… (ahhhhhh im still getting flushed) i paused she paused. We both just kinda stopped before i almost die of redness and hide my face as i try and compose myself and she asks if im okay and making sure she didnt upset or make me uncomfortable.

I get control of myself and we go back to talking before finally laying out heads down looking at eachother once again. This time i close my eyes. And i feel the air slow. It felt like time did too to be honest. But what i did feel was the matress move under my head as i feel her hand on my face as she kissed me. LET ME TELL YOU as a 20 year old bi women ive only had HORRIBLE kisses even my ex was bad. All just tongue and teeth. But this kiss. This kiss was gooooooooood. So good we end up in the bed together kissing for a few minutes before i start to spiral mentally. We stop as she could clearly tell im guessing. It went like
Are you okay? (Ash)
Umm, i don’t know (Me)
We should stop then if you don’t know
We sit up
I start to cry for some reason
Are you okay?
Yeah i don’t know why I’m crying I’m sorry
Don’t apologise, its okay (rubbing my back)
Im sorry i don’t know why I’ve started to cry
Stop apologising you have nothing to apologise about
I just got out of the relationship with Wayne, and you’ve ended stuff with Ohio and i dont want you to think or feel like a rebound or only like me because i treat you better then Ohio.
I dont just like you because your nice to me. Youre the person ive liked the longest so i know i like you for more then just being nice to me.
I just need time to think about what happened and what i want.

We then just lay around in my tiny king single bed. She gives me these amazing back rubs she gave me when i was sick after my birthday last year. (Ive been thinking about them since tbh)((does that make me bad)) that was around 7am. We sleep cuddled up all night pretty much, which is very rare for me to be able to do for so long especially with some of the stuff I’ve gone through personally. I wake up a few times throughout the night obviously waking Ash too because she wouldnt say anything just go back to rubbing my back for me to go back to bed. Her hands were so warm i cant stop thinking about it.

We wake up at 4pm the next day. We stay cuddled up a bit before she goes to take care of some stuff she had to and coming back. I showered and get ready for the movies while shes gone and she showers when she gets back and my mother drives us to the movies. We watch the movie. Eventually holding hands and just kinda cuddling together throughout it. I didn’t pay for a thing not the food or tickets for the movie or the food after. She just took care of me. We went to KFC after to get something small and quick before she Ubers home and i got picked up. I said i wanted a go bucket and a drink and Ash got me that and an extra little mayo slider for me because she knew i would be hungry once i was home. (My foodie little heart skips a beat)

We hang around talking and kinda flirting while i waited for my mum. I wanted to kiss her goodbye but i was a pussy and my mother arrived sooner than i thought. (I don’t want her to think something is definitely happening until it definitely is) she walks me to the car and heads back to the KFC and waits as we text
I had a lot of fun today and yesterday
Hehehe me tooo I appreciate everything you did for me and I kinda miss you already hehe
Cutie, i miss you too
Thanks for all the back scratches
It's okeee and hehe goods also you really are so beautiful, all the time it actually takes my breath away.
Hehehe thank youuuuu

Its been two days since and were continuing to flirt and stuff except theres the weight of what happened. I dont know how to end this but yeah.

TL;DR: I broke up with my boyfriend of a year about a month ago after a relationship full of problems, and reconnecting with my best friend Ash helped me realise how unhappy and isolated I’d become. Ash and I have history from high school, and after she admitted she’d had a crush on me for a long time, things started getting increasingly flirty. She recently ended things with her situationship, Ohio, and during a sleepover at my place, we ended up kissing. It was genuinely the best kiss I’ve ever had, but I got overwhelmed and started crying because we’d both just come out of complicated situations, and I didn’t want either of us to feel like a rebound. Ash reassured me that her feelings were genuine and that she’s liked me for longer than just recently. We ended up cuddling and sleeping together (just sleeping), then spent the next day holding hands, cuddling at the movies, and flirting. Now we’re still being sweet and flirty with each other, but I’m trying to figure out what I want, what this means for us, and how to navigate everything without rushing into something neither of us is ready for.

Starting a year or two ago i had an urge to dress like someones papaw from Appalachia, what i quickly found out was that getting ahold of actual american overalls in my country is next to impossible, high street shops don't sell them unless it's childrens clothing and while you can buy on the internet, you have to go through importers and pay fees, and while a few brands ship internationally the international stock is always limited and often not in my size.

I turned to second hand sites and quickly found a great deal for a grail pair, already in my country, these were the carhartt R02 BLK's i'd always wanted, for those who don't know, these are packed full of insulation for the winter, basically a coat for your legs, and they look great.

They looked basically new, were far cheaper then buying new, and in my size, i had the choice between the carhartt pair and a dickies denim pair that was actually bigger then me, so because of my lust for the carhartts and because they were smaller i bought the carhartts.

In hindsight i sometimes wish i'd bought the dickies instead.

When they came i washed them, tried them on, found i loved them and hung them up.

That back in the summer, the only problem is that i just don't know if i'll get to wear them this year, it's only just got cold enough to wear a jacket, about 10-16c during the day, i also don't spend that much time outdoors in general.

Everytime i've asked family and friends about finally getting my carhartt overalls out they always tell me it's too warm, what i bought was made for harsh Michigan and Canadian winters, i think the only chance i'd get to wear these is if it snows but we rarely get that.

I'm torn between ignoring people and wearing them anyway, ripping the insulation out or putting them away.

Needless to say i want my denim pair next.

TL;DR: I finally got a great deal on a piece of clothing i always wanted but i feel like my country doesn't get cold enough to justify wearing it even in the winter

The jizz socks are pretty self-explanatory, I jizzed in them, and hid them beneath my bed after I was done, my parents were always confused why my socks would vanish so quickly and they constantly bought new ones.

The jizz socks were a secret I didn't think much of, my parents didn't meddle in my room and I continued my routine, until one day, they got fed up with me not cleaning my room and they began cleaning it themselves, in particular, my mom did. I forgot about the jizz socks until it was too late and she saw a pile of moldly socks full of jizz now, the sock mystery solved.

She asked me what all my socks were doing there and what the substance in them was. I lied, told her I did science experiments in them with soap, and stuff in the past, but she sniffed It and didn't believe me.

She went to the bathroom to grab cleaning supplies, and my dad also came in and saw it, and he knew. I tried to spin the same lie, that it was a science experiment but he just looked dissappointed and didn't speak a word to me.

I haven't spoken to them about it, I'm so guilty.

TL:DR: Jizzed in multiple socks and piled them under the bed where my mom one day found them while cleaning my room.