Hi, I [16M] and my girlfriend [15F], made our relationship official 3 months ago and I have made a huge mistake, she has gotten extremely clingy and will get angry whenever i cant talk for long, she also hates how i hang out with my best friend more than her (she lives more than 20 minutes away from me and we dont do the same sports but go to the same school), she also will get really distant and cold if somone who is a girl will be around me ( i have a few friends in my sport who do it with me and my best friend, [they are either lesbian or would rather die than be with me]), and she keeps pushing for sex, but i think of myself being too young for all of that and she is not happy about it. I now see my mistake and either want to go slower or take a bit of a break. The problem is that she is quite unstable and has self harmed and attempted unalive multiple times, I want to tell her but I don't want her to do anything bad if I tell her, we are also at the same school and have mutual friends, I don't want to mess anything up.

What do I do in this situation?

I (17F) have a girlfriend (16F) and I have no idea what I really feel. We've been together for 16 months now, but still I've never been good with understanding my feelings, but maybe smo can help.

We started out as friends and somewhere in between I realised she got a crush on me. I never mentioned anything and neither did she. I was alright beeing friends, not even wanting a relationship, really, and not even thinking about her in that way at first. I am considering if I, overtime just got comfortable with the feeling of her loving me but then again, I feel all stupid and random when she's with me.

However, when she confessed over text, I literally started crying and thinkin nonono, type stuff. Bc it would mean I have to really commit to this relationship and be together with her if I accept. She gave me time to think about it and long story short we got together 2 months after.

The reason for that was that she talked to me about my fears about realtionships and all and I thought what she said about them made sense, but then didn't question if I love her. And also, I couldn't put her down. It's not that I don't like her but I never seem to be able to settle with the thought of a never ending relationship. Not that I want a short one.

So the situation now is that I am comfortable when she's around and all but whenever she leaves or I get a moment to myself i question it all. It tires me out. I am ace and thought if I might be aro too, but it's all so confusing and I can't get my head straight.

Any advice!?

(Also sorry if this doesnt make sense, I'm confused and it's my first time on reddit)

So i started talking with this guy on tiktok after he replied to a story i posted asking if im ok. We talked and realized we have a lot in common and before i knew it, we were talking all day and both grew feelings for eachother.

Just yesterday when i checked my phone after getting home, i saw that he had blocked me on tiktok, instagram and discord with no explanation anywhere of why he did so.

After i fully accepted what happened, i made an alt account and commented on one of his vidoes on tiktok to get any answers (he has his DM's closed for non friends) and he hasn't responded yet.

Do i just leave it be and continue on with my life or do i try to get any answer out of him? Im a curious person and i overthink a lot, i want peace of mind from it possibly not being my fault but i also want to let him be incase its something serious

So me and my gf have been in a relationship for 2 weeks now and she has changed a lot.
In the beginning we used to talk a lot more and she was always very sweet and kind but over time she has become distant and kinda rude tbh.
Like she will call me dumbass which I really don’t appreciate, even if it’s in a joking way.

Recently I got my bangs cut and I sent a picture, she refused to compliment me and instead said that she didn’t really like bangs but if I liked them it was fine and just said that I looked different.

She has also started to post a lot of stories of her and her “wife”, who’s not me but instead her friend. I asked her to stop because my friends were asking if we weren’t together anymore but she just shrugged it off and didn’t listen, said that she can do whatever she wants which she of course can.

The other day I was feeling a bit down and wanted to talk to her about my feelings and all she said was “ok” after I dropped my whole story about how I don’t feel well. It’s like she doesn’t care anymore.

I feel like she doesn’t like me, she won’t even say I love you anymore which kinda stings actually and I just don’t know what to do.

What can I do to fix it?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for about 1.5 years now. She’s my first girlfriend and our relationship is honestly really good. Nothing is really wrong and I genuinely love her but sometimes I worry about spending my whole 20s with one person and never experiencing what it’s like to date other people.
It’s not that I wanna sleep around or that I think there’s someone better than her. I just wanna know what it’s like getting to know different people and having different connections. There’s so many people out there and I feel like I’d be missing out on that part of life if I stayed with my girlfriend forever.
Sometimes I wish I could take a break from the relationship, experience other people and maybe get back together later. But obviously there’s no guarantee that would happen and I could end up losing her for good. I feel like such a dick for even thinking about breaking up with her when she’s done nothing wrong. I don’t wanna hurt her or lose her, but at the same time I don’t wanna get older and regret never experiencing anything else.
Has anyone else been in this situation? Idk if I’m just overthinking everything or if this means I’m not ready for a serious relationship. Like idk if I should stay with someone I genuinely love or lose her just to experience what it’s like being with other people?

Now I’ll preface this by saying that I am in no way perfect and do make mistakes in our relationship, pretty stupid ones at that and have had my fair share of mess ups too.

I am a senior in high school and she is a freshman at the local college, we started dating as sophomore/junior and have been together since.

One thing I’ve noticed however, and more so recently is that she has gotten angry at me over some weird things that I; A: have no control over, and B: Don’t really understand.

This is mostly the one I can’t understand the most:

My parents and I are pretty big travelers together and normally go on one big trip a year. (Normally to a national park). This being said, we don’t travel in state very much, if at all.

Over the course of our relationship I have been invited to two different in-state trips with her family that were no more than 2 hours from where we live.

And furthermore, she has been invited to one (the only) instate trip we have taken since being together, which was to surprise my dad at an air bnb with all of our distant family.

But recently, as me and my parents are planning our next big trip across the country, I have been describing the details to my girlfriend who has gotten pissy every time I even merely mention it.

Just for context, this trip spans three states, three national parks, and costs roughly $7,500.

The reason she’s getting pissy is because we aren’t bringing her along on the trip. She’s telling me that it sucks not being invited to go sucks and makes her feel left out.

To her complaining I tell her that me and my parents love her and have never done anything wrong to her to make her feel left out or that we hate her, so much so our doors are pretty much open to her 24/7 when she needs to get away from HER family.

Also, in an argument, she tried telling me that if I wasn’t invited to one of her family’s out of state travels that I too would get upset. Well, they’ve gone out of state without me and I didn’t worry about it at all.

To this I said, “if your parents did that-“ which was followed by her cutting me off and screaming at me: “YOU KNOW THEY WOULDNT DO THESE THINGS FOR ME”.

At that point I didn’t know what to do, and I still don’t.

Firstly, her parents are semi hardasses but it’s not like mine aren’t strict on me, I’ve just been really good in school and sports recently so I’m on their good side.

That being said, her parents give her a lot of opportunities and do these things for her.

But either way, I can’t believe she’s getting mad at me and sort of throwing shade at my parents because she doesn’t feel like her parents do a good enough job with her.

Between this and other stupid things she has gotten mad over recently I’m starting to feel like I’d have to be super man to keep up with it all.

I’m just not sure what to do

TL;DR: gf getting upset with me because family not inviting her on long road trip.

My boyfriend (18m) and I (18f) have been deciding what to do for Halloween recently. My boyfriend said that he didn't care what we did and that I could make the plans. So I told him that, at the time, I didn't know exactly what we would be doing, but we would be with my best friend and her boyfriend. He was okay with that and has hung out with them plenty of times and is becoming friends with her boyfriend. It took a while to make plans because my friend and I don't really like parties and wanted to do something other than trick- or- treating due to our age. So, my friend and I planned a beach day, based on her boyfriend's plan with an additional friend of his. When I told my boyfriend, he said he didn't want to go because he wouldn't know anyone there (meaning the additional friends and his potential friends). I told him that it was okay and to let me know if anything changes. But he got upset with me because I said that I still wanted to go to the beach. The main reason I made this decision is that I barely get to hang out with my friend now (plus she is the only person I really hang out with since after my graduation) because I'm either hanging out with him or at school and work. Also, because I am the main source of transportation for my friend and her boyfriend. My boyfriend has since reposted a TikTok claiming that his girlfriend always chooses her friends over him, and I just don't think that is true because I cancelled on my friends more just to see him. I'm not sure what to do in this situation as of right now. I will try to talk to him tomorrow, but I want to know if I am being dramatic and overthinking this situation or not. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense; this is my first time using Reddit.

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 6–7 months. He loves me a lot and treats me well, but recently, I’ve been feeling really differently about our relationship. I feel suffocated, and talking to him or saying “I love you” feels like a chore. Sometimes, I genuinely can’t stand hearing his voice, and we argue over little things.
The confusing part is that our relationship is good overall, and he genuinely loves me. I feel like I miss being single, but I’m also scared that if I leave him, I’ll miss him and regret my decision.
Part of me feels like these feelings are temporary and that I’ll eventually fall back in love with him, but another part of me feels like I genuinely don’t want to be in a relationship anymore.
I’ve also recently been talking to someone else who has an interest in me, and I don’t know if that has anything to do with how I’m feeling.
I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend because he treats me well, but I also don’t want to stay in a relationship when I’m unsure about my feelings.

I've liked this girl for almost a year now. She sits next to me in class, thats where i met her. Shes got the same music taste, same humor, aside from the fact shes adorable. She's like a different version of me. At first it was a state of really bad limerence, the idea that no matter what I did I just couldn't have her, and it killed.me for months. We started to hang out at school games, rock concerts, days with the friend group, and stuff like that. All this just made me like her more.

One night, there was an away football game she wanted to go to with me. Hung out the whole time, laughed together etc. At the end, we got back in my car, decided to wait out the traffic and sit there a minute. From the silence she said, "I really like you". My heart dropped. I explained how I really thought we did, and how much I liked her. She agreed, and we sang our favorite song all the way home. I was on top of the world, man. The person ive liked the most was the person who reciprocated my feelings for the first time ever. Fast forward 3 days, she unlikes all my posts, stops texting me, and avoids me like the plauge. Shes still the same vibrant person to other people, its just me that's been shut out.

We were gonna talk about our conversation about the future that Saturday, and she canceled it without reason. I asked if I had done something to hurt her, she said no, and said something about "I intended for the future, not now", as the reason for her clamming up due to vulnerability, and also because I ship out to basic in February. It just created more confusion, as that dosent explain why ive been shut out completely. Should I just give it up or move on?

So there is this really pretty girl who sits next to me in my second hour class in school, and I really like her, but I don't really know if she feels the same way...

She is somewhat open to me but every time I talked to her I was getting like really stressed or worrying I was saying the wrong thing.

I have started to open up a little too and I can make her laugh a little here and there and I started being more of myself recently.

I've been contemplating recently weather or not I should fully open up and just tell her how I feel...

The main reason I am nervous because earlier in the school year I asked for a girls number and then I got a restraining order for being a creep?

Does anyone have ANY advice? I really want to tell her but on the other hand I'm really scared to.

Edit: I forgot to add this but recently I've been having that feeling that I think everyone has, but I just want someone to be able to connect to, be there for them and love you know?

I'm 15F, and there's this guy, let's call him John (17M), who's from South Africa. We met online, and we've only been talking for about a week. We haven't met in person, and we're from different countries. He's openly flirty with me and has told me he wants me to be his girlfriend, but I haven't officially agreed to anything yet, so we're still in the talking stage.

The thing is, I'm genuinely so socially awkward. I'm used to people texting me first, and I almost never initiate conversations myself. It's not that I don't want to talk to someone, I just never know what to say or how to start a conversation out of nowhere.

But with John, I actually want to make an effort. I don't want him to think I'm uninterested or that I don't like him just because I'm not usually the one who texts first. I want to show him that I enjoy talking to him and that I'm interested in him. I want to be sweet with him, but initiating conversations feels so unnatural to me.

I also don't want to force conversations or make it feel like I'm interviewing him every time we talk. I genuinely don't know how people do this naturally, especially when they're still getting to know someone online.

For people who've been in a similar situation, how did you get comfortable texting first and showing interest without feeling awkward? How do you keep conversations going naturally when you're an introvert and you're talking to someone who lives in another country?

I'd appreciate genuine advice 🤧

So ive been talking to this girl for a little over a month and my ex relationship ended a few days before we started talking. I really like this girl and shes so pretty and funny and we have the same interests and everything and so much in common but we both have sort of the same story about our previous sex lives and SA. She was “raped” by her ex boyfriend who is 14M, and i was SA’d by my ex girlfriend. Im just wondering if because we both arent virgins is it really a red flag if she isnt a virgin if im in the same situation? All my friends who know abt her say to not date her because shes not a virgin but they dont know i am not aswell.

Any advice is appreciated

Alright, I made a whole other account just to post this, so I hope this doesn't backfire on me.

For reference, my boyfriend (18/M) and I (19/F) have been together for just over eight months. We met senior year in high school, and now we are in college in a long-distance relationship. I have always had concerns about whether he actually found me attractive, especially because I am not his type. He likes ABGs or literally any asian girls, and I am tri-racial (half black, a quarter white, and a quarter Filipina).

While he has expressed finding white and arab girls pretty as well, he's never mentioned Latinas or blacks, which is a bit of a red flag for me. I don't really look all that mixed. I have dark brown eyes, dark brown wavy/curly hair, and caramel dark skin. I've been told that I look Latina, indian, and native american, and of course, black--none of the races he is attracted to. He has made me feel bad about how I look on accident, but we have talked it out, and he has reassured me in the past. He has also called me "cute" on occasion; one would think that suggests that he is attracted to me in some way.

My boyfriend now goes to a UC where there are a lot of ABGs and white girls, and since he's been there, he's been glazing the ever-living shit out of them when he talks to me. Which, I get it, they are very pretty (I think most people are pretty anyways), and because I am not a jealous person, I'll gladly engage in conversation with him about how pretty they are, and sometimes try to convince him to compliment them because I am sure a lot of girls love receiving compliments from people who aren't creeps. What rubs me the wrong way is that at one point during one of our conversations (in which he was comparing all the girls at the school to angels), he said something along the lines of "I'm cooked, this is bad, if I stay here I'll just be thinking about abgs all day".

I laughed it off.

No, I did not find it funny.

I felt a little hurt, especially because in this whole conversation he hadn't complimented me at all, which (I get it), the conversation was not about me. But it just hurt a little, you know? He had been describing and showing me all these pretty girls, and none of them looked anything like me at all. Additionally, he's maintained the opinion that the people at our high school were way less attractive than the people he goes to school with now. Like, does that include me all of a sudden too??? Bro used to call me his "sweet darling angel", and now I'm just mid and not his type (but I've known that since the beginning).

Overall, I am really just feeling down about this. I'm not quite sure how to deal with these feelings. It took me such a long time to love the way I look, to love my curly hair, to love my Afro-Filipina facial features, to love my dark skin (which I am still working on to this day). Now I just feel like I will never be beautiful or cute to everyone else. I know that shouldn't really matter, but it just feels so demeaning when you have this vision and impression of yourself, but some people can't see it, or were never taught to, just because I am dark-skinned or don't fit the beauty standard. Part of me is telling me to ignore it because I already know he would never cheat on me, but that doesn't stop me from still feeling hurt.

I’ve never posted on here but i just want advice, since i just have no one to talk about this about, and it’s A LOT. It’s honestly embarrassing how much i’ve been through with him/forgave him but im going to try to put everything that has happened with us.
Me and alejandro (ex/bf) have been together for a year or so, and were BEST friends before then. Anyways i’m going to try to make this short but basically alejandro’s life has a lot of problems including family issues, financial issues, legal status, etc.. I have helped him out through everything. I’ve spend so much money on him, gave him a play to stay when he wasn’t on good terms with his family, pushed him to go to college, to get a job, you name it. But he is very discouraged he doesn’t ever want to do anything but play FiFa and soccer. He does have a history of depression and i try to be very gentle with him but it just pisses me off how his excuse for not getting a job is always like “ oh well i don’t wanna work in food ” Ok so find another job??? he found a job at a car wash and they new he didn’t have papers and they were paying him $50 a whole 12 hr shift, literally nothing. So obviously he quit, which i understand.
Me and alejandro always argue but it’s nothing major. Yeah we break up sometimes but most of the time we’ll just get back together and he always kind of “begs” for me and says how much he loves me and he’s never felt some type of way about a girl like this ( i am his first body his first gf everything ) I promise i’m not tryna be a bird but i really do believe him, he shows it.
Anyways on saturday i remember he was acting weird and his phone was off. I remembered there was a halloween party going on in our town and idk we both know we wouldn’t go out like that without eachother so obviously i didn’t think nothing of it but i had a gut feeling, so, i asked him. He said no and even made me cry telling me how toxic i am and how much of an overthinker i am and how im ruining our relationship.
Yesterday my friend texted me asking if we’re still together, i said yes. She told me that her friend told her that she seen him at the party, and he went up to her and offered her a shot, she said yes. He gave her a shot then told her “you look good”, she knew me and him talked but wasn’t sure if we were still together so she just said “Thank you” and walked away. Which honestly, i consider cheating. Specially since you lied to me about going??? I confronted him and he basically replied with “what movie is she in” and just started calling her names like “She ugly af i wouldn’t even say that to her” which didn’t seem right with me because they’re was no need to insult her. I told him to just not talk to me at all and to leave me alone because this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this.
We always get back together but this time it feels so real and i am distraught. I just don’t understand how he could type paragraphs and paragraphs about how much he loves me and wants to be with me and do this? like how? (if yall want i could post screenshots of how he says it) . Anyways i am a full time college student, and i have my own business i am a nail tech and work everyday after school, him never working or having money was just never going to work out but i let it slide because i had sympathy for him & always thought “oh well we’re just so young still so it’s ok” but no, because if i can do it, he can too. But idk idkkk im just so sad.. i know maybe in a couple days he’ll text me apologizing and stuff but i don’t want to fall for it again but like i feel he really likes me but idk bro like i just don’t want to tell nobody this because i know they will judge me for being such a bird but hopefully yall don’t judge me . Feel free to ask questions , i might’ve left some stuff out bc it’s just so much but yeah.

I 17M have had this best friend for the past 7 years is this this girl I know, we'll call her N, 16F. Her brother is one of my best friends as well, so I always forced myself to only think of her as a friend, rather than as someone I'm interested in. She used to really like me a long time ago, but we never dated. N is bi, and she got a girlfriend about a year ago, call her L, 18 F, and her gf hated me. She thought that I was trying to steal N from her, when I never did anything to arouse suspicion in the first place. It was this whole huge thing, and now N decided that it was best to hide our close friendship from L, and that calmed everything down. Their relationship is about a year old. L is going to see that me an N are still super close within the next week, as we both do competitive swimming and I'm N's ride. There is a meet every Saturday, and L is going to be there watching. The worst part is, after I heard that N and L are doing better, it really hurt. I realized that I was suppressing my emotions for L out respect for her brother, who is also my good friend. Now I'm forced to play an unintentional alibi for a toxic relationship that I don't even like. I feel really bad about it, but I hope they break up after L finds out, because it will mean that I can be fully back in my friends life, even tho I wanna be more than that. What would you do? Tldr, my best friend who I realized I love is in a toxic relationship, something is going to happen and blow up, and I don't know what to do a about it.

My friend 16M always makes the same, unfunny and offensive jokes of my 16F girlfriend being Polybuzz AI and it's fucking annoying. Everyday at school, he always brings up 'Oh what about ur polybuzz AI girlfriend?' while smirking and him and his friends laugh while telling everyone that my gf is AI and they either laugh with him or simply ignore him. Keep in mind my gf is white british with a Indian/Slavic name and when he found out about her name and ethnicity (I told him), his viewpoint of my gf being polybuzz AI became stronger because to him, my gf having a name that doesn't suit her white European culture is apparently AI 🤦‍♀️ (I told him that it's her parents choice to name her whatever she wants and he said 'ok...' and I also said that there are Asian ppl that have white names and he responded 'yeah bc England is the most commonly spoken language in the world 🤦‍♀️, btw my friend is indian so he should have common sense that the british not only colonized his country for 200+ years but there were MANY british ppl born in India). He kept messaging my gf 'I know you're her alt acc' and 'Ur not real ur an polybuzz AI chatbot' and my gf became really irritated, she blocked him. My friend would always spam messages on either my Instagram account or on my reposts (about my gf) saying 'Stop using polybuzz AI you're wasting water!!" and "Awwww is this about ur polybuzz AI gf?". Not only that but whenever I have a serious conversation with him irl or online, he always brings up the same joke (again) of my gf being 'polybuzz AI'. He's been making this unfunny and repetitive joke for around a month and it's so fucking annoying. I've been friends with him for over 4 years and he never acted like this when I previously had a bf before. My friend is geniuely so fucking annoying now he's not funny at all and wouldn't stop when I told him to and instead just laughs at me.

[Note: every since I started dating my gf like a month ago, my friend would now always say the gf polybuzz AI joke nonstop, him and my gf never met btw].

Quiero saber qué harían. La conozco desde hace unos 2 años, y habré visto a su novio como 2 o 3 veces en todo ese tiempo, y no me llegó mal con él. Sin embargo, ya está llegando el final de la escuela y entonces ella se va hasta del continente quizá y no volveré a verla en mucho tiempo o quizá nunca. He tenido muchas dudas sobre si decirle o no lo que siento antes de que se vaya, porque le quiero ser sincero con respecto a eso. Con todo el respeto a su relación, siento que así como no estaría bien una confesión que exigiera algo, así tampoco está bien que me guarde esto. Al fin y al cabo yo tampoco lo pedí, y no se lo diría para “liberarme”, sino para serle sincero, porque es una amistad que ha sido importante para mí y que creo que merece saber la verdad. He visto algunos consejos, pero muchos han sido algo vagos, como simplemente alejarse, lo cual no ayuda mucho. No sé qué opinen ustedes o las opiniones que, con su experiencia, respetuosamente puedan darme.

Ok so there's this girl that I've had a crush on since 3rd grade (we're in 9th grade now😭 and yes this was during online school) during our 7th grade year I finally got the courage to confess to her but I was rejected. She said that she still wanted to be friends but the first couple months after that I was avoiding her because it was awkward. Because I wanted things to go back to normal I asked her in person (because I thought it wouldn't be sincere) if we could just be friends but she started laughing at something my friend was doing (I brought him for emotional support and he is friends with both of us) but at the time I thought she was laughing at me so I got overwhelmed and hid in the bathroom (I know, I know). At this point I thought she wanted nothing to do with me so I texted her "I'm sorry I'll leave you alone" and was planning on just avoiding her again for the rest on my school days. She felt bad that I thought she was laughing at me so she clarified and agreed to just be friends. It's important to note however that she was in 3 relationships before this but none of them she felt safe in and felt pressured to be in them because there was this fucking loser who was obsessed with her and stalked her but she kept rejecting him so he told his friends and her that he was going to 🍇 her, mind you we're like 12-13. The counselors found out after his friends told them and 2 police officers came to our school and gave an entire presentation about s*xtortion and consent.

During our 8th grade year there's this whole thing about her liking one of my friends (I wasn't involved in any of this, most of the things that happen at school I find out like AFTER the school year it's not even funny😭). During the whole drama I find out that she DID infact like me during 6th and 7th grade and up until a couple months before she started liking my friend. So I'm very confused but I still want my friend to be happy so I encourage him to date her because he liked her too. My friend, being my friend was very hesitant because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Eventually they date until my friend stops texting her because of some personal issues. She breaks up with him because she didn't know about any of it. Me and her also texted during the break and most of 8th grade but we didn't really interact much in person. During all of this I still liked her.

Long ass exposition I know, anyway fast forward to this year we're good friends but I still have feeling for her but I'm trying to get rid of them because I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me now. She's a very kind, energetic and enthusiastic person. We text A LOT now but I'm still reserved in interacting with her in person because I don't want people to get the wrong idea. She on the other hand whenever she sees me always starts talking to me (which I don't mind, infact I like it but I don't think it's doing much for me on the getting rid of my feelings front). She's dubbed herself my hg and I am her hb now. I feel like even though I'm trying to get rid of my feeling for her I'm being to clingy like I text back immediately and she takes 3+ minutes. She's told me about 2 other guys she's liked and has asked for my help with them. This is one of the obvious reasons I'm 95% she doesn't like me. The other 5% are my hopes and dreams😭. Of course I want her to be happy even though I can't so I try to be honest and help her with them but she always seems kind of reluctant when I give her my advice and sometimes comes up with excuses about why she doesn't want to, this is probably just the 5% of me talking.

Anyway, any tips on how to try and forget about her. I need an absurd amount of help anything helps. This has been 6 years of pure agony, fixation, longing, and probably a little unhealthy obsession. I want to be with her but that's probably not gonna happen unfortunately🥲. The next best thing is moving on. Thank you for any advice!!!!

Hello, this is going to be long but thanks if you read everything, that's cool. (you could technically skip to the second paragraph where I skip a line, you just won't have the context but you will be able to give me advice with this only i think)

So I'm a girl and I like one of my friends which also is a girl. we're the same age. we met at the start of 9th grade when I was almost 14 (I'm born in october so I was still 13 at the start of the school year) and became friends especially by the end of the year. when I fell in love with her was in first year of high school, 10h grade when I was 15. I wanted to tell her I loved her from 2025 february, just because I wanted her to know and if there was a chance she'd like me back then I wanted to make sure and take it. I even wrote her a whole poem "dans les règles de l'art" as we say in french lol. but I only managed to tell her in June because everytime I had a chance I got scared, but even there I only told her "someone likes you" face to face and continued on message... i fled. I feel quite ashamed for this but past is past and I live in present. at first she was shocked and thought of a joke or prank but I was really serious and she was flattered. no one had ever told her this and she really seemed to want to go out with me at the moment and said only things like "I'm scared to not be good enough for you" and "I don't have much confidence in myself, you have to go slow with me" etc but it was only flattery, not love. she gave me an actual response 2 days after I told her and said she couldn't go out with me because she didn't like me romantically neither she wanted to go out with anyone because she likes her tranquility and is too lazy. and at the moment I was like "ok, I understand and I won't bother you" and we stayed friends as we both wanted to. but 2 days after by the end of the week, before going to sleep, I melted into tears - literally. I even talked to chatgpt as it was my therapist, I'm so ashamed of myself now... I was like in the void. I just wanted to disappear from this world, like I had never existed at all, I was feeling like I was nothing. nothing but void. and I didn't think I could feel this bad for a rejection, it lay be hard but not to the point of crying this much so I didn't really understand. but I still really liked her. as I didn't choose 1 day to like her more than a friend, I can't choose to not like her anymore either. now I'm 16 and in the 11th grade, it's been 1 year since I like her and I feel like my love is growing even more each day, I think of her all time (everyday and several times a day), everything makes me think of her, I like everything about her she's like perfect, I can't find any other word, she's amazing. when I look at her I feel like she's the most beautiful girl in the world even if I know she's not (like she's not prettier or uglier than other girls, she's in the middle if I try to be objective) and I just don't know. my love for her is so big I feel like I could explode anytime keeping all this for me. I have too much love to give. sometimes I even freak myself out, and I'm scared to tell her all this because she would be scared and I don't want this. I feel like my love has no limits.

now the problem is I quite need love. idk how to explain this but I feel like I need to go out with someone more and more as time passes. feeling loved and doing things only couples do like kissing.. they sold it to me so well I crave to know what it's like now.......... and I've never even cuddled anyone, never liked and go out with someone, she's my first everything. I don't even know how I'm alive without all of this right now, i dream about it every night lmao. so I want to go out with a girl but it can only be her from my point of view because if I go out with someone else (let's call the girl I love Y and the girlfriend M for better understanding) :

1. I don't like M and go out with her while liking Y so not good for M

2. I do like M but I'm 100% sure it's not possible for me to like someone as mush as Y because I love her too much so even if I would maybe not like Y anymore (which I doubt), I would think of how I loved Y more everytime and this would be bad for M too.

and I already thought of making a deal with Y so we can do couple things without being together like holding hands like friends with benefits thingy but it would not be her type she wouldn't really want this. so yeah, idk what to do so I would be reaaaally thankful if you'd give me advice, tysm for reading me !