I don't know if this is a Parenting post or a Swimming post - putting it under Swimming for now - if the mods reject it will move it to Parenting.
Context
My 6 year old has been going to swim for around a year - 2/3 times a week based on her schedule. We started it as I view swimming as a vital life skill.
The Challenge
However, it turns out she is very competitive. Something I had not anticipated/expected.
In the course of the last year, she saw a few Olympic videos and winners getting Medals - she became obessed with getting a medal/certificate.
She had been badgering us to take her to a swimming meet so that she could 'win'. I resisted for a year but finally I relented and took her to a local meet this weekend.
Turned out she did not win (did not come in the top 3) - clocks 30s for 25mtrs freestyle - water start.
The Situation
She is super upset and now wants to stop swimming as she did not win. What I failed to realize (my mistake) before the meet was that she had imagined a whole world where the win was guaranteed and she came home with a certifiate. It has been a shattering of a dream for her.
I appreciate it is a process of learning from failures, but, last 2 days have been traumatising for her and as a parent you question your decision - in retrospect, taking her to the meet was likely a mistake.
The Query
- Should I stop taking her to meets for a few years? What age is ideal to start taking her to meets?
- Her coach says she has potential and is very dedicated for her age so she may make a good competitive swimmer in the future
- Is 6 too early an age to learn swimming? Should I wait till she is 9/10 before restarting her classes?
We will ofcourse will counsel her when she calms down, but I just wanted to check in case anyone had any opinions.
Edit 1
A big thanks for the helpful responses; didn't expect so many! Much appreciated.
Summarising my take aways from the feedbacks.
- I intend to work with her on explaining 'need to win and being competitive are two very different things'
- We will be taking a 2 week hiatus from swimming lesson and let her reset
- In that period I am going to work on changing her definition of a win:
- A win will be improvement of her timing
- Going forward she will get a badge from me for every meet she participates in (The badge will have the date of the event and her timing - plan to stick these on her door)
- Since a few of you mentioned, yes I know this could also fit in the parenting sub and hence the disclaimer in the first sentence