In Texas the IEP meeting is called an ARD meeting (Admission, Review and Dismissal). If you have your first one coming up, here's what I'd suggest after 25 years working in Texas public schools.

Before the meeting

• Ask for a copy of the draft IEP, evaluation results and any proposed goals a few days ahead. You're allowed to read them before you sit down at the table.
• Read the evaluation (often called the FIE) and highlight anything you don't understand or don't agree with.
• Write a one-page "about my child" sheet: strengths, what works at home, what's hard, and your top 2 or 3 concerns.
• Gather recent report cards, work samples, any outside reports (doctor, therapist, tutor) and emails with teachers.

At the meeting

• Bring someone with you to take notes so you can focus on listening.
• Ask how each goal will be measured and how often you'll get progress updates.
• Ask what the accommodations look like in a real school day, and who is responsible for each one.
• If something is new to you, it's fine to say "Can you explain that in plain English?"
• You don't have to agree to everything on the spot. You can ask for time to review the paperwork before signing.

After the meeting

• Get a copy of the final paperwork and check that it matches what was discussed.
• Send a short, friendly email summarizing what was agreed. It creates a record and clears up misunderstandings early.

What other questions do you have about ARD meetings? Happy to help in the comments.

Former Texas school principal, 25 years in Texas public education, now a parent advocate in DFW.

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I’m a single mom crying out for some guidance and prayers as we head into our IEP meeting this Friday.
My 8-year-old daughter is nonverbal with autism and an intellectual disability. She currently uses an AAC tablet (Proloquo2Go), receives speech, OT, and PT, and at home, her sister and I are learning sign language to connect with her as much as possible.
She is currently in a Supplemental Autistic Support classroom at her local elementary school, but it’s just not enough. On her re-evaluation, the school psychologist tried running standardized cognitive and achievement tests (WISC-V, C-TONI-2, KTEA-3), but noted in the report that valid standardized scores couldn't be gathered because she couldn't engage with the paper/iPad format.
Instead of recognizing that she needs specialized, adapted methods, it feels like the district uses her communication and focus challenges as an excuse to keep her where she is.
In my parent input, I officially requested that the team explore a referral/placement to a specialized school for nonverbal autism (like The Timothy School in PA) that has the low staff-to-student ratios and intensive communication environment she actually needs. But I am expecting heavy pushback at Friday's meeting due to district budget and placement restrictions.
For parents or special ed advocates who have been here:
How do I push back when the district uses "untestable" standardized results to keep a nonverbal child in a standard supplemental classroom?
What are the most effective legal/procedural steps (like requesting an Independent Educational Evaluation or demanding Prior Written Notice - PWN) to force the district to consider an out-of-district placement?
I’ve reached out to our local parent advocacy center (PEAL Center), but what specific documentation should I bring to the table on Friday?
I love my daughter with all my heart, and I know God didn’t bring us this far to let her get swept under the rug. Any advice or encouragement before Friday would mean the world. Thank you.

I dunno what to do, I'm drowning. Just looking for some solidarity, experiences, suggestions anything really.

Details: daughter (3yrs old) has had a tough go since birth, needed to be resusitated and had a birth injury so she has been seeing specialists since birth. This spring she experienced multiple episodes of seizures so her medical needs have only intensified. We still don't know what's wrong. We have multiple appointments a week now, some out of town. She's also a flight risk and 40lbs so going anywhere with her is absolute chaos, game over when I have to bring both kids. I will absolutey love her persistence and tenacity as a young lady but right now, oh boy it's tough. Just to paint a picture of how crazy appointments can be if I've got both my toddlers with me.

Specialists she's seeing: paediatrician, GP, endocrinologist, neurologist, audiologist, allergist, developmental paediatrician, physio therapist, speech therapist, occupational therapist and an infant development specialist who she has not aged out of. On top of these specialist appointments, we have labs we need to do as well.

Parent details:

We have another child, a four year old. Dad works 40 plus hours as a teacher, there is not much flexibility with his schedule. I work 25-30 hours a week remotely as a building designer so I am afforded flexibility with my hours. I manage about 80% of her medical needs, dad will take a family illness day (only has three a year) to help when we are drowned or grab prescriptions on his way home. We do not have support, we have one grandmother who can take them for two hours a week I'd say, but she is too old to manage them. They are in daycare from 8-12 mon to Friday and I typically work 6-1130am. However, the daycare is unreliable and they are often home sick or home cause daycare provider is sick. On those days, I work nights. I tasked dad with finding a new daycare as I did not have the capacity to do so again as it's a lot of work and our daughter is now high needs. I also put in a request through a non profit that helps parents navigate these exact struggles but it has been over a year.

Me just complaining:

I am dropping the balls here, the hats are getting too heavy. Being short with the kids, making mistakes at work, our house is falling a part (washing machine broke, plumbing issues) I have been driving with no licence for 5 months because I can't carve out the time for myself between work and kids. I am so frustrated by my own physical and personal needs because it just feels like there is no time. I've got disordered eating and am losing weight. I don't know how to describe how overwhelmed I am other than it feels like I go blind. It feels like my eyes are getting shaken out of my head sometimes.

I have asked for more help, I feel like I've screamed for it but it seems there is no one coming. I gotta fix this myself.

Solutions:

Better daycare, but that does not negate the amount of work I am putting in as a medical mom as I will still need to be attending appointments with my daughter and losing daytime working hours. OR

I quit my job and go on disability. I'm in Canada, i dunno how it works, hoping for some insight. Would I stand a chance in getting some financial aid?? When did you decide to quit your job as a medical parent?? When did it become too much for you? Can someone validate that this is entirely too much for one person to manage? Because my brain is telling me that I am sucking as a mom, an employee, a home owner and a partner.

Thank you sincerely to anyone who puts time into reading this and responding. I had to repost from another sub so sorry for weird format.

two neurodivergent kids looking to aid the huge gap in their diet. this is the cart obviously i don’t expect everyrhing just anything would help. The supplementation and sun lamp way more important than the robes I added for them just because it’s cold. It would be greatly appreciated and I am scared to ask for this but also hopeful that someday i can do this for others.
https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/1T7L9HPLX3LRZ?ref_=wl_share

Hey everybody, I have a profoundly disabled 5 year old and she's my angel. She was able to get this Apple tablet through her insurance about 2 years ago to help her communicate but shes still not really able to use it..

She seems more interested in scrolling it up down up down, playing with the back of the tablet, and turning it on and off than actually using it. They've been trying to teach her at school but it seems like she more has trouble grasping the concept of the device itself than of actually knowing how to use it, if that makes sense.

She does a lot of hand leading towards the general direction of things she wants, but she hasn't been able to figure out how to use this thing just yet.. doesnt help that its overcomplicated with a million different pages either.

Does anybody have any similar success stories where you eventually helped and succeeded to show your child how to use it?

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Has anyone with adult children gotten divorced? How did you survive? I’m so scared. I’m in a VHCOL area but I want to stay because my kids programs are nearby. I have three kids and the two oldest (adults) but have special needs and live with me. They’re aren’t “severe” but they aren’t able to support themselves. So moving out to a one bedroom apartment by myself isn’t an option. I need to either keep the house or find a 3 bedroom apartment which costs more than my mortgage. I’ve always worked part time in order to take care of them after school, drive them to school, etc. Just started this year as a para at my youngest son’s school but the pay is obviously low. I also has a non cancerous brain tumor a year ago that has to be monitored so I will also need to pay for health insurance thru this job.

Sorry if that was all too much info, I guess I’m just looking to see if anyone is in a similar situation and how you were able to do it.

As far as my h, he’s an alcoholic and gets verbally abusive towards me and my middle son. I just can’t take it anymore. I’ve stayed over twenty years but I’m getting older and I don’t want to be miserable anymore. His behavior really effects the kids too, especially the NT one and the milder one. I feel awful that I stayed for so long. But how do I get out???

My son(10yo) and I are both autistic individuals with high support needs. He receives community support services and respite care through WCMH and I have a home health aid through DHHS. I was recently approved for a live-in aid and I’m wondering if there is a process for a minor child with disabilities to receive a live-in aid as well. I receive State Disability Benefits and my son gets SSI.

Any advice? — in Michigan.

For kids who are totally fine holding the brush and following the chart but the second the bristles start moving on the gums its full shutdown. Most of the advice out there is about making brushing fun, which doesn't help much when the problem is the feeling itself

Unflavoured paste and hand over hand already come up a lot in here. Electric ones seem hit or miss because the buzzing is its own issue for a lot of kids

So what works for sensory kids who can’t handle the scrubbing part?

Location: Pennsylvania. (First post deleted bc there wasn’t an actual question. Sorry about that)

I have never posted on Reddit before, but I am at a loss. My son is 5 yrs old. He started kindergarten this year. He is diagnosed with autism level 3, ADHD, and traumatic brain injury. All three of these issues are known to cause problems with sleep. The school is aware of all of these diagnosis. He also went to pre school there last school year. He doesn’t have an IEP yet for this school year.

Before we started him in school, we were told that the school will work with my son. They will structure his day to help him. They used the example that if he needs to go only 3 days a week or have shortened day.

He has missed days yes, but all due to his sleep. The school said 19 days. (This is incorrect). They called Children Youth Services on us. We had a meeting with a lady last Friday. I explained everything. She looked at his “unexcused” days. She said a handful of them were excused. She also said the first week of school that he missed due to the school not having bussing set up didn’t count as unexcused. (just so happened my cars battery went, and I wasn’t able to take him)

We had an attendance meeting already. The principal wanted him to be there every day, regardless on how he slept. He was sick with a doctor’s note that week. I kept him home. And I feel like she’s power tripping because we didn’t make him go when he was sick.

Because after that CYS called for the appointment . Today, I got a notice to appear at local magistrate due to his attendance.

But what I’ve read is that
1.the school miscounting days is illegal.
2. The school doesn’t have an IEP for him. I asked them to update his and his teacher said that “ because he hasn’t been going regularly”, she hasn’t been able to complete one. ( he had one in pre k). I read that they can’t use that as an excuse.
3. I also read that they shouldn’t have contacted CYS/ courts because of his diagnosis’.

Also to note, his very first day, he came home with two big scratches going up his leg. Some teacher/aid hurt him. His family doctor agreed along with his behavioral consultant. Then the week after, I got a call from his teacher stating that he fell. My first question was “did he hit his head” due to his history of traumatic brain injury. She said “no, he caught himself on his hands.” She said he was lying down (not like him) and wanted to know if anything helped him to feel safe (toy/ blanket). Then I get a call from the nurse 2 hours later saying “I know the teacher called and let you know he hit his head….” I told the nurse “no, she specifically said he didn’t hit his head.” I ended up taking him to the ER to get checked out. Both these instances, the teacher and school has dodged answering questions about these. (I have messages from the teacher not answering or vague)

We have been hesitant to send him in the first place. He is mostly non-verbal. Him being scratched and him hitting his head, along with lack of communication from the school has also made us scared to send him. On top of his problems sleeping.

Also, one night when I put him to bed at 9:30, he woke up at midnight, and was up until 5 am. I kept him home that day, I had called the teacher to tell her. She said keep him home bc when kids don’t sleep, they usually act up/ don’t get anything done. Now it’s a problem. I have messages referring back to what she said about keeping him home if he doesn’t sleep.

What are the next steps I should take?

Sorry this is long. Lots have happened. And I have never dealt with this. I just want to protect my son. Any information is really appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read/ answer.

Hello, I am a small business owner looking to partner with either one of these organizations to donate product (it’s a baking mix company) and financial resources eventually. I’m particularly passionate about supporting caregivers and providing special needs kids with fun activities centered around baking or cooking and teaching vocational skills for older teens.

I’d love to hear peoples thoughts on these programs since they apparently have a national footprint. But I’m also very open to other organizations that are believed to be more impactful or reputable or perhaps more centered on cooking or baking skills and programs.

Thank you!!

My name is Tera. I'm a single mom in San Diego, and I started a petition because I've seen firsthand how broken this is.

A loved one of mine is autistic and in the Aspiring Scholars Program at Cal State San Marcos—a federally recognized college program for autistic students. His dad is a Marine with a 100% disability rating. He earned VA Chapter 35 education benefits. But here's the thing: the VA won't pay for his program because it doesn't grant a "standard" degree. It's a real college program with real outcomes—confidence, skills, inclusion. But because of a technicality, the benefits his family earned are locked away. He's not alone. Thousands of veterans' dependent children are stuck in the same situation.

I'm asking Congress, the VA, and California's legislature to make federally recognized Comprehensive Transition Programs eligible for VA Chapter 35 benefits and the CalVet College Fee Waiver. These families already earned these benefits. Their kids shouldn't be shut out over paperwork.

If this feels wrong to you too—or if you know someone this affects—would you consider signing and sharing? What would you want someone to do if this was your family?

https://c.org/TLL7VKQryf

Was looking for a doll for my friend's daughter for Christmas, and I didn't know that this company Budsies makes dolls of people, and they match everything about the person. Wanted to share as a special gift idea for this year!

Hi, found out our 7 year old with global developmental delay may have mild intellectual disability. I was wondering if anyone had advice about helping her become more independent with morning routines and getting dressed and ready for school. Has support at school and doing better with having trouble going in mornings. I’m not sure if the wanting us to dress her is just more of a comfort thing or even if I’m expecting something that isn’t realistic. Appreciate any advice anyone has from their experiences.