My first wife and I used a friendly known donor for our two kids (each carried one). 9 years and an amicable split later, my second wife and I are planning to have another. I didn't know if our donor would be up for donating, so we talked to a few people. Turns out my kids donor would be happy to do it again, but we can't quite decide 100%. For one thing, he's now well over 40. For another, my wife has a few friends she would be excited about building community with. On the other hand, we all know known donors have some risks built in, so it's nice that we know my kids donor wouldn't get weird and try to get custody. And it would be really nice for all the kids to share a donor. But current wife has some hesitations about making a decision that is based on a decision I made with my ex.

How would you make this decision? Any considerations we haven't thought of?

hi! this space was so helpful to my wife and i during our conception journey and we’d love to be able to give back. we have leftover ganirelix, menopur, and gonal-f and would be happy to coordinate an in-person meet (due to the refrigeration requirements).

My partner (35AFAB) and I (34AFAB) have been trying to conceive with a known donor for over 2 years. After some failed attempts at home insemination and much waiting, we finally did our first egg retrieval in May 2026. I quit cannabis in preparation and focussed on eating whole foods and taking a million supplements. I responded horribly to the stims and developed severe insomnia, found myself in extreme emotional distress (i have pmdd and am sensitive to hormonal fluctuations). We had a really hard time with the hormones and then in spite of my follicles looking great, they retrieved only 6 eggs. 2 progressed to blastocyst and we had 2 failed transfers.

In august i geared up for another egg retrieval. I started another round of stims and found the hormones not as bad - they switched up my medications. I stayed off cannabis the whole time, i was even doing acupuncture and taking so many herbal supplements. I then contracted viral laryngitis and my egg retrieval procedure had to be cancelled 2 days before it was planned to take place. All those eggs lost through natural ovulation! We were devastated & burnt out. I stopped all my supplements and immediately started having an edible every night to sleep. I felt like all my good work had come undone! Had to wait 6-8 weeks to start another round of stims. In the background, we seemed to be having heaps of bad luck in our personal life. I also got scabies after recovering from the (severely bad) viral laryngitis.

This month we went for round 3 - aiming for a freeze all round to take a break for a laparoscopy. No acupuncture, but i did get a particularly intense thai massage in the first week of stims. I barely took any supplements and i had a couple puffs of a joint TWICE during the 2 weeks of stims. I had totally lost steam and just wanted to get it over and done with. On alternate nights i was having drowsy antihistamines to help me sleep. Drinking excessive amounts of coke zero and eating whatever my heart desired. Did karaoke til 1am on the night of my trigger shot. Well, whatever i did worked. I got 21 eggs and 16 fertilised.

I just post this to share that it really is out of your control sometimes. Its a roll of the dice! I hope someone out there reading this having bad luck feels reassured that sometimes the egg retrievals are just random and it doesnt mean that it will be the same number for subsequent rounds. And don’t beat yourself up if you’re having trouble following all the whole foods, supplements, acupuncture, microplastics etc. it is overwhelming. Hoping our bad luck is over now!

Hi all!

My wife and I (both cis females) are about to start our third month of ICI with frozen donor sperm! We are using two vials per cycle timed apart.

Does anyone have advice for timing the inseminations? My LH typically rises very quickly (- to + in less than 12 hours, peak 2 hours after +, then it starts steadily decreasing).

Does anyone have any tips/tricks they feel really helped them be successful?

Thanks in advance!

Hello! We did our first FET last month and it wasn’t successful. (My husband is trans so these are his embryos) I am going to try a modified natural cycle this month as last month my lining grew very thick but didn’t reach trilaminar. For some background, we have a 2.5 year old from our first try at an unmedicated IUI.

My question is this, they found a small (what they believe to be) calcification on my ultrasounds. It is 2-3 mm in size but located in the center of my endometrium. The clinic recommends all findings be removed before transfers and we declined last time but now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to pay thousands of dollars to investigate something that may be an incidental finding, but I also don’t want to waste embryos trying when that could be an issue.

Does anyone have any advice?

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If this is not allowed please remove!

Third round hoping this time is it!

If you're considering, or already pursuing surrogacy, and wondering 'what actually happens at the IVF clinic after you match with a surrogate?' Pineapple Family is co-hosting a free webinar with Dr. Melvin Thornton of Global Fertility & Genetics.,

REGISTRATION REQUIRED: Link in comments

Matching with a surrogate is a major milestone. But what happens next at the fertility clinic? For many intended parents, the medical side of surrogacy can feel like a series of decisions happening behind the scenes.

From preparing embryos to navigating transfer and early pregnancy, understanding what the clinic evaluates and decides is an important part of preparing for the journey.

Together with Global Fertility & Genetics, Pineapple Family is co-hosting hosting a free webinar on Thursday, November 5, with Dr. Melvin Thornton, Reproductive Endocrinologist & Fertility Specialist to walk through the medical side of a surrogacy journey.

He'll be covering topics like:

• What happens at the fertility clinic after matching
• How embryos are prepared for transfer
• What the clinic evaluates before proceeding
• How the embryo transfer process works
• What happens between transfer and early pregnancy
• Which medical decisions are made by the clinic

There will also be a live Q&A, and questions can be submitted anonymously.

It's Thursday, November 5, at 3 PM PT / 6 PM ET. Registration is free, and both intended parents and gestational carriers are welcome.

DISCLOSURE: I'm a co-founder of Pineapple Family, a family-building platform supporting independent surrogacy and egg donation journeys. We are not an agency. This webinar is an educational session, not medical advice. Medical decisions should be discussed with your treating fertility clinic.

Obviously one is cheaper than the other.

We were set on rIVF and then, while in an appt, it was suggested we do IUI (to begin with) as my medical history supports the success of IUI, and the IVF process could actually be harder on my body than expected due to various health conditions.

So I technically have PCOS, however, I’ve been on Metformin since puberty and thus ovulation is going well.

I’m worried IUI will be a waste of money, and also me and my fiancée felt it would be special to carry for each other.

Now I’m full on panicking?

I thought we had things figured out and our doctor has me all wigged out. I dunno.

We have couples counseling on Thursday, but has anyone dealt with this? She’s happy either way, but I’m literally worried about FOMO 🤦🏻‍♀️