r/queerception • u/StayAtHomeGrandbaby • 4d ago
First time at the IUI Rodeo
Hey there!
Me (32F-will be the carrier) and my husband (33TM) started the testing on me and the subsequent additional testing including a polyp removal procedure since February this year. It started a bit rough when I found out that I have a pretty low egg reserve and wasn't sure that the life long dream of being pregnant and having a family in that way would happen. However, as we continued through the testing, the rest of the results were good to go! I started the 10 day Provera early this month since my period/cycle was wonky. Then my period started last weekend and it was “go time”. Got my baseline bloodwork and ultrasound then the go ahead to start Clomid. I’m on day 3/5 for Clomid and am scheduled for ultrasound and bloodwork this coming Wednesday to determine the timing or the trigger shot and schedule the IUI.
I’ve had so many thoughts and feelings through this entire process up to this point and there’s been a lot of investment (money and otherwise) into this process that I think I logically knew to a point but simultaneously was more than I expected. We currently have 2 vials and ultimately have these 2 rounds to try before we have to pause to save for more vials if these rounds don’t work. On some level I’m scared because of timing and balancing that with affording more rounds quickly so my egg reserve doesn’t diminish more. I know it’s not a guarantee that it will work and I’ve been doing what I can to give me and future baby the best odds (losing weight, balanced diet, exercise, therapy, etc.), but that also makes me feel very vulnerable to the unknowns. I get that’s life. I think I’m also struggling with the idea that us growing our family in this specific way is up to my body to work effectively. My husband will be a great dad and I know that’s something we both want. I just feel pressure (my doing/stress on myself and yes I do talk to a therapist about my feelings) that the success of this happening is based on my body “producing”. It’s gotten easier to release that pressure after completely ugly crying at my doctor’s appointment last month, so I’m glad that was able to happen before this round started. I’ve been trying to do as many productive things during this time to really celebrate the process and effort that we’re putting in to make this happen. I’ve gotten baby books, made IUI socks for insemination day, taken pictures and recorded videos throughout this process speaking to our future baby, wearing a lucky bracelet from a couple who has gone through a similar fertility journey growing their family, and trying to meditate and be intentional.
I guess I’m just looking for somewhere to connect as most of our friends or people we are around are either in cis relationships that didn’t need any fertility treatment, are single queers, or partnered queers that don’t want or necessarily like kids. So this process has felt pretty lonely. We haven’t told our families and we have a total of 5 people who know we’re even going through this process. I’m pretty educated and aware of the healthcare and medical worlds, but I feel like this season I don’t know as much as I wish I did. Maybe knowing more about what’s going on makes me feel, sometimes, like I have a little control over what feels like something so out of my control? Who knows.
I’m not sure I have a question yet, but I’m sure I will as this progresses. I’m trying to just put as much good energy into the universe and allow myself to be hopeful for the possibility of success during these tries. I guess the only question I could ask at this point is: When you think about your first time (or if you’re in your first time) what has helped you process all of this or what has helped you through this journey?
Sending good vibes to everyone else who is trying too!
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u/succubus99 4d ago
Relatable. Like, pretty much all of this. Knowing the statistics, I treated my first round like a sort of experiment. Just trusted the clinic, my doctor, the meds, my body to do what they were going to do. Wore my lucky bra too! Anyway… it only takes one egg to make a baby. I got lucky my first round, and baby girl is due in April. I wish you the best of luck with it!
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u/StayAtHomeGrandbaby 4d ago
Totally just trying to be so compliant with what the doctor is saying and trusting in their expertise for sure!
True…I’m trying to remember that.
Ahh!!! So exciting! Sending you so much positive energy for a healthy rest of your pregnancy, a healthy baby, and healthy birth.
Thank you!
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u/thatshuttie 3d ago
It is such a marathon, and not a sprint. Situations may arise that you cannot ever predict. You just have to keep going (pending finances etc of course). We lost our first pregnancy from IUI in a miscarriage and thought about not trying again. But I’m so glad we did keep trying. Resilience is key, though so so much easier said than done! Some have smooth straightforward journeys, and some do not. Also, be patient with yourself on clomid. Clomid always made me crazy emotionally I would cry at the drop of a hat 😅 Best of luck to you!