Need advice

[u/Appropriate-Baker580]

My girlfriend of 6 almost 7 years is pregnant. She keeps telling me that she hates me and can’t stand me. She says it’s the hormones from pregnancy but I don’t know what to think. I’ve tried doing almost everything around the house and helping her in the process but nothing is helping. If any woman out there has experienced this please let me know if it true and for any guys if you found a way around it again please let me know. Thank you

[u/The_Cheeki_Breeki]

So the way our OBGYN explained it to us was the hormones will take you above your baseline by like 20% - 50% max. So if you're normally fairly even keeled, in MOST instances, you stay that way but things are 20% - 50% more intense.

She warned us that if things are outside of that baseline (so intensity is up like 200%), we should come in and discuss.

She said the same thing about post partum too

A normal, well adjusted, loving couple may find that the mom is snappier, shorter, and has more intense emotions, but going from happy and loving to literally being abusive is rare and should be treated as a medical emergency. She also mentioned to separate brief period of short-temper from constant, endemic feelings of hatred or abusiveness. Your wife snapping at you one time and yelling is different from her constantly berating you and being abusive.

So two questions:

1. What was your relationship like before the pregnancy

2. What has your doctor said?

[u/Appropriate-Baker580 → u/The_Cheeki_Breeki]

Our relationship has had it ups and down but mostly really good and her doctor just said that everything changing so there’s nothing that they can really do

[u/AxCR202]

Well, this sounds like a healthy relationship to bring a child into.

If she’s saying she hates you it’s not the hormones, dude…

[u/Mister_Vandemar]

What was the dynamic before pregnancy? I’ll tell you that pregnancy is a wild ride, and hormones make people act differently. Assuming that you guys have historically had a solid relationship without this level of antagonism, I advise that you ride it out.

She’s going through a lot. Be supportive. Understand that your job is to help her get through this. Don’t get into fights.

It will get better. And then it will get worse! And then it will get better. Hopefully.

Postpartum is also a crazy time.

Honestly, remember that you love your partner and that they’re doing the hard part. Breathe. Having a kid is amazing, but you have to weather the storm.

Best of luck.

[u/Optimal-Pop7449]

Hormones had my wife hate me temporarily. It is super possible.

[u/Winter_Childhood9186]

There is a thing where some women experience rage during pregnancy and it clears up after the baby is born. They can recognize they're being monsters and its like having an out of body experience. Sometimes therapy helps, but just knowing about that psychosis can be helpful so she knows it can happen and it does end. There are several posts I can recall on the topic in various subreddits over the last year alone so there might be a way to search Reddit for those words

[u/Upstairs_Tangelo3629]

She just using “hormones” as an excuse to be a dick.