​My husband and I have a 5 year old daughter and have always been happily one and done. Even before she was born we discussed the matter and agreed we wanted only one. Despite being careful and using contraceptive, I just found out I’m pregnant.

​We are both heavily leaning toward termination. My husband openly says he doesn't have the emotional capacity for a baby again. I feel similar but different. I think I would be able to do it but I love our current life, freedom, and stability. I have zero desire to go back to sleepless nights or reset our progress. I also feel like the three of us are such a good little team.

​Yet, I’m spiraling with guilt because of two thoughts:

​My reasons feel selfish. Financially and physically, we could do it (although I would be 38 by the time I give birth). My reason for terminating isn't lack of resources, it's simply that I don't want to. It feels hard to give myself permission to choose my own comfort without feeling like a bad person.

​Will my daughter be lonely? This has always been on my mind to some extent but now it has become sooo much more real. I grew up with a sibling and love it (husband is an only child and totally fine). Our daughter is thriving and super happy, but I keep worrying about the future. It doesn't help that I live in a country where everyone judges and demands an explanation for only having one child.

​Also, our daughter was a surprise too, and I adore her. So my brain keeps trapping me with "what ifs". But deep down, I know our family feels complete as a trio just like we always wanted it to be.

​Has anyone in the OAD community been through an unintended pregnancy and chosen to stay OAD? How did you deal with the guilt of choosing your current life over a potential second child?

People wont show their true colors until its too late. Husband wants more kids but only helps out once in a blue moon. I told him he is welcome to have more kids with another woman. I thought about how I would have to "lie" to the said woman to "convince" her to have children.

And then it hit me, that I was also deceived in this way. I dont blame society for not warning me. Also i dislike it when people just assume that he showed his true colors from the start. Im just ranting... of course if the partner was more involved i would consider more kids.

Also my decision is very financial too. I dont want to be miserable and poor. Sorry not sorry.

My question is this: sometimes second marriages work better because we know what we dont want.

Is there a Happily OAD woman out there whose partner is very supportive, helpful and awesome??

I understand having the right partner can make or break.

But are there moms who feel strongly OAD even with that 10/10 father??? Just curious... im still OAD no matter what. No matter how much anyone tries to convince me they would help. I dont care what Anty says at the grocery store. I LITERALLY will start a debate if people want to. Like pay me 1 millon dollars and I might actually think about it, because I could pay someone to help. But still. No thanks

I love my baby so much <3

Hello, my baby/toddler was always a healthy kid. She had her first fever at 6 months old due to teething, her real sickness was when she was over 18 months old but since started nursery, she has been sick every 2-3 weeks and sometimes week after week. Anyone else has these same experiences? Also these sicknesses are something I've never heard of like Adenovirus or Roseola. I'm hoping she will outgrow these soon enough. ​Thank you in advance 💐

My daughter just turned 2 earlier this month. So it’s close to Christmas where she’s getting gifts back to back. She got a good amount of stuff for her birthday like she did last year so I tend do less for Christmas.

I’m in the middle of purging old toys. She has a couple toys in her bedroom but then we have a portion of our finished basement as a playroom that we honestly RARELY use. I thought we’d use it a lot more but maybe when she’s older.

She has a play kitchen that I picked up at a yard sale for $10 but it’s old and has no attachments basically and barely any play food. So I’m thinking about getting her an upgrade to her play kitchen and some food since she loves to play pretend. Other than that, I was thinking a leapfrog leappad.

Any other ideas? I wanna keep it at 3-5 gifts (not including some clothing for the next size up) that are going to be used more. I don’t want to keep track of a million tiny pieces of things.

Some things she already has & maybe would inspire your list!
- MAGNATILE kit
- little people barn house and little people doll house
- play pretend wardrobe (doctor, vet, fireman, princesses, chef)
- Melissa and Doug ice cream counter (she loves this)
- puzzle boards
- toy trucks
- DJ table
- plastic drum set
- ball pit
- plastic musical tea set
- Stryder balance bike