Hi everyone — I’m Scott, an NYC parent and the founder of Trot My Tot. The moderators gave me permission to share this. I’m disclosing my affiliation upfront because this post includes a service I run.

The idea came from a problem in my own family: my son needed to get from school to an after-school activity, and my wife and I were both working. We didn’t need a full afternoon of childcare — just help with the pickup and getting him there. Finding someone for that short window was harder than I expected.

I built Trot My Tot to help families connect with local caregivers, whom we call Trotters, for child walking, pickups, and short-term care. It’s one option to explore; parents still need to decide who and what arrangement works for their family.

If that would be useful, here’s the platform: https://trotmytot.com/

I’d also like to hear how other NYC parents handle this. Do you rely on another parent, a regular sitter, an after-school program, or something else? What’s been hardest about arranging help for a short or occasional pickup?

Hi, I work in tech and the job market has been so bad. I have been unemployed for a year. Needless to say being a sahm means I am too exhausted to even apply for jobs and prep. Looking for some tips from mums who have been through something similar. I don't have help with childcare. Currently living in a state that's undesirable and depressing.

Hi, my wife and I are expecting our first child in March 2027. She plans to deliver at Lenox Hill and we're looking to identify a doula who can support an unmedicated birth. However, we're firmly committed to science/evidence-based maternity and postpartum care, and the doulas we've interviewed to date have been a little too close to the anti-vax/MAHA space for our taste (e.g. encouraging us to delay the Hep B shot at birth). Even though we think a doula would be helpful, we find it hard to trust the advice of someone who's signaled sympathy for anti-vax nonsense. Would love recommendations for doulas who are affirming/supportive of autonomy in areas where autonomy is appropriate, but deferential to science and medical evidence where the medical evidence is clear.

First time pregnancy. High risk bc of diabetes and HTN, and I often find myself getting exhausted, and having hypoglycemic spells. Following with MFM. Husband is a physician in fellowship.

I'm truly having a hard time holding it together second trimester. I'm a physician and I work long hours. We live on one of the top floors in an apartment with 10-15 minute elevator wait times, no dishwasher, communal laundry in the basement...so yes, any errands whether getting packages, walking the dog, or laundry, requires a 30 minute round trip commute. Dog walker takes the dog twice, husband does it once, I do it once. We try to club trips together like laundry/dog walking, but it's still tough, timing doesnt always work out. Even retrieving a package requires waiting in line for 10 mins at the front desk. And, no dishwasher. I do 80% of the household chores such as dishes, sweeping, mopping, laundry. No cooking (thankful for meal services) but meal planning to ensure nutrition, taking inventory of what supplies home needs + ordering it etc, all falls on me.

I used to be able to do this prior to pregnancy, working 50-55 hours plus chores but now I'm truly dying. They say second trimester is the golden trimester but not for me, the fatigue and dizziness and nausea only get worse.

Does anyone have any tips or anyone been through this? I am terrified for my third trimester. I sometimes literally get nausea from the stop and go motion of the elevators, especially when they stop at 10+ floors. I've tried b6 and doxylamine to no avail...

For post partum and maternity leave I'm considering just moving out of NYC to my parents' home in the suburbs because the hustle bustle and lack of amenities is killing me

FTM here and looking for overnight newborn care / night nanny for 3-4 months starting end of Jan in Tribeca. Does anyone have someone they’d recommend or suggestions on where I should look?

Thanks!

I know, many threads on this but they’re more general, only asking how much people pay. I’d love to put together a spreadsheet of the specific daycares and their cost as I just started looking into options but every place we look into only shares their rates after you complete a tour.

I can start it off:

-Kindercare, Cobble Hill - $3,570 a month
-Pollitos, Cobble Hill - $3,065 a month

There are daycares like every other block here so I’m not even sure where to begin to look; but knowing pricing would definitely help.

Hi all! I recently found out that I'm pregnant (yay) and am trying to decide between Downtown Women and NYU for my OB care.

Based on what I've read here, I'm leaning toward Downtown Women. However, I've also come across some google reviews where patients report pretty significant billing problems and difficulties with communication and responsiveness. I've seen several reviews raising similar concerns----obviously I can't verify the details but I'm hesitant to dismiss them as one-off experiences. I'm also not sure whether the communication issues are mostly with the administrative/billing staff or extend to the clinical team.

This seems to contrast with the overwhelmingly positive experiences I've read about here so I'd love to hear from anyone who's been a patient at Downtown Women recently (ideally in the last 6-12 months or so as I know these things change). Has anyone run into these issues, or has billing/communication been ok?

I'd also love to hear from anyone who considered both practices about what made you choose one over the other. I understand that the two practices have somewhat different setups, and I'm OK with the provider rotation system at Downtown Women.

Thanks so much!

Hi everyone I (F31) am looking for what hospital I’d like to give birth at. Recommendations I received: NYU, Cornell, Mt Sinai and Columbia. I’m looking for people’s experience that gave birth at those hospitals and also what their OB experience was like. It’s important for me to like my OB, but I’ve read people mention that they see multiple OBs throughout their visit. Just looking for people to share their experience at the hospitals and with their OBs and if they would have chosen differently.

Hi all! We’re expecting in December and planning to deliver at NewYork-Presbyterian Lower Manhattan. I’d love to see what the rooms actually look like before the big day.

Specifically, how comfortable was it the dad/support person? Photos of the L&D and postpartum rooms would be great, especially the sleeping setup (chair, pull-out, cot?), space to move around, and bathroom access.

Anything you’d do differently, or wish you’d known? Thanks so much!!

I’m 5 weeks pregnant with my first baby and the search for an OBGYN is exhausting. I currently have 2 appts with 2 different doctors/clinics (made an appt with one while waiting for first office to call me back)

Curious how common it is to have initial visits with more than one doctor, or do most people just choose one and roll with it? Feeling indecisive on my next step

Has anyone done their NIPT bloodwork at Mt Sinai? I’m specifically in Astoria but would assume they’re all going to the same place. How quickly did you get results back?

Generalizing here but I've been wondering this for a while....

Why is private tutoring to teach ahead of the grade and outside academic "enrichment" (ie RSM, AoPS) so common among private school kids at the lower school level? Is it because most parents find the private school curriculum not challenging enough? And if so, why don't schools accelerate the curriculum more? Or is it because parents want their child to have an edge over other classmates? So even if schools made the curriculum harder, parents would still supplement? I know some kids crave and ask for these extra classes, but I think most are there because their parents put them there.

Then something different seems to happen in middle and upper school where I hear most kids need a tutor just to keep up. Is this because the curriculum is too hard? The lower school education didn't adequately prepare them? Why do parents tolerate expectations that might not be appropriate and/or teaching that doesn't seem to be effective?

This may also be happening in high-income public school circles but I hear about it most among private school families. Or is this a distinctly NYC type A parenting thing (was not this way where I grew up).

I have a 2 year 4 month old daughter and I was wondering if she’s elegible for this program and how it works? Is this also income-restricted?

I have been doing a lot of research on schools recently and I'm curious if others have read this report that the school commissioned in the aftermath of the Winston Nguyen debacle. Nguyen was the teacher who was hired at Saint Ann's despite a past felony conviction, and was thereafter convicted of a second felony, this time for sending sexually explicit messages to teens.

https://saintannsny.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/12/Debevoise-Saint-Anns-Key-Findings-12.10.2024-1-1.pdf

My sense is that many consider the Nguyen episode an isolated incident. That surprises me a little because, to my mind, the report portrays a school whose management is thoroughly incompetent from top to bottom.

The interviewing and onboarding process for Nguyen was, for example, entirely vibes-based. The Head of School approved Nguyen's hiring with essentially no information *except* that he had been convicted of a felony. Nguyen had also, it turns out, lied about degrees on his resume, which was not discovered because the school didn't check.

The report further describes a school that is afflicted with:

--abysmally poor parent communication (e.g., parents were told incomplete and sometimes inaccurate info, including the false statement that the school had extensively discussed Nguyen's criminal history with him before hiring; school continued to recommend him as tutor after deciding not to renew his contract)

-- chaotic internal organization (no controls on access to school keys, school funds, or who is running activities in the school at what time)

-- no standards for teacher hiring (Nguyen was hired as math teacher despite no demonstrated expertise or skill in either math or teaching; seemingly, he charmed one person and that was sufficient. No clear consensus on what interviewers are even looking for; just seems like they exercise subjective judgment about "fit," as if this were sorority rush)

-- excessive influence of internal politics on decisions affecting children (e.g., after it became clear Nguyen was violating policies, he was not fired because new Head of School did not want first act to be firing a popular teacher; parents were reluctant to express reservations for fear of appearing non-progressive)

-- no standards of behavioral or academic accountability for teachers whatsoever once they are hired (e.g., Nguyen violated rules about boundaries and other issues in plain sight without consequence; gave students glowing lack of reviews despite parents' suspicion they were not in fact learning any math; this question was seemingly never followed up on)

-- a vain and self-satisfied institutional culture (check out handbook quote at p. 31-32)

I am just struggling to square the portrayal in this report with Saint Ann's status as a well-regarded and desirable school, inundated with applications each year. I'm sure many people have had positive experiences at Saint Ann's, or have positive impressions upon visiting the school, and really want to send kids there. That's great and I'm not trying to deny anyone's views or experience; I'm just trying to reconcile those with this report.

What's going on? Is the report factually wrong? Is it factually right, but people disagree with me that the issues outlined above are concerning and consequential? Do people not know about the report and/or not care? Are there, in fact, some others who became less inclined to apply to Saint Ann's after this came out?

Just curious to hear others' reactions to this because to me it is so discrediting to the school. Curious to hear any perspectives.

Trying to gather what the “norm” is here for this particular situation…

It’s been a little exhausting figuring things out/planning, but starting to get a lay of the land. I have a toddler and we are currently doing 2 days a week of daycare at The Goddard School.

We have been thinking that we will likely move to Connecticut once our child is ready to start school. Because our child has a late birthday and there is a differing cut-off date between NYC and CT for starting school, she would start Kinder at 4 in NYC public or start Kinder at 5 in CT public.

On top of my child having a late birthday, she was also born early… and in daycare, I’ve already noticed some developmental delays compared to her peers (though are actually in line with her “adjusted age”). All that aside, I don’t love that she would have to start at 4 if we did public in NYC because I feel like on top of being a late birthday with her being born early, she might be really behind.

I started getting the lay of the land for CT if we make that move. Aside from also having a different cut-off birthday deadline, it also seems like a lot of public schools don’t have guaranteed Pre-K like NYC does and that slots are limited and many people don’t get a slot. Then, I thought okay… so then, we just do Pre-K at a private preschool in CT before public Kinder if we don’t get a slot, but then got into looking at that, and it seems like even slots at those are also limited, but you have a better chance of getting in if you do 3K there. (Wasn’t planning on moving to CT that soon.)

I have a few questions here. For those who opt to go the private school route in NYC (which is similar to CT in that it also has a Sep birthday cut-off for starting school and also usually starts at Kinder, not Pre-K) or for those who do make the move from NYC to a suburb that has a different deadline where it affects what year your kid starts school, how did you handle Pre-K?

Also, for those who do private Kinder in NYC, do you all send your kid to a separate full-time Pre-K program prior? Is a part-time Pre-K program sufficient enough to prepare them for full time Kinder or is full-time really a “must”? (I thought it was interesting that The Goddard School offers Pre-K for 2, 3 or 5 days.) Is there anyone who ever sends their kids straight to Kinder without ever doing any Pre-K?

Hi! I’m expecting and looking for nanny share info. Did you use an agency you would recommend? How did you go about finding both the nanny & the other family? Bonus points if you have info on the UWS specifically. Thank you!!!!

We are first-time parents looking to hire a nanny to join our family later this year. Since this is our first time going through the process, we want to make sure we cover all our bases.

We have the standard interview questions down, but we’d love to know: what are some non-obvious or unexpected questions we should ask during interviews?

We appreciate any feedback and tips as we build out our interview list!

hello any parents who sent their kids to George Jackson Academy? any reviews about the school?

I’m a ftm looking to hire a part-time nanny/mother’s helper starting in a few months (after the holidays) and am wondering when the best time would be to start looking. I know it might take some time to find a good fit so I don’t want to wait until the last minute, but also don’t want to find someone great and then ask them to wait three months for the job to start (feels likely they’d take another job in the interim if it came along, and I couldn’t blame them, but then I’d end up scrambling).

What do you think is the sweet spot/how far in advance did you start interviewing?

Also, I know about Care.com and am planning to look there, but any other recs for how to find someone (other than Facebook groups, since I’m not on that platform)?

Anyone familiar with the application process? It was extremely opaque when I first learned of it and now is a tad less.

I have family coming from a walkable European city and I’m 1/3 mile away from the nearest subway stop. As is it, I put in about 30 miles/week in walking and I’m afraid to tell them that. (They last visited when I was in Upper Manhattan.) So I’m looking to price a scooter and possible surprise them with it.

I’ve also noticed those scooter-carts (idk what they’re called). I can’t imagine them on the subway though.

Hi all! Looks like I’m headed to a C-section delivery at NYU. I’m preparing my hospital bag and wondering what I don’t need to pack. Like do they give you enough pairs of post op undies? What about a belly binder?

I’m a stay at home mom and am starting to familiarize myself with nyc schools and the whole intricate process. Obviously being a SAHM I’m able to be with my child all day up until she needs to attend kindergarten.

So I’m curious if there are any parents out there who had the option to keep their kids at home but chose to put them in 3k/pre-k for other beneficial reasons outside of free child care during the day or vice versa those who kept their kids at home till kindergarten, any experiences or regrets you can share? Thank you!!!

———-

Edit: thank you all for sharing your insights experiences and thoughts. I’ve learned I have extremely outdated info on prek and k and clearly k is so much more academic and unfortunately competitive now. Will be considering prek at the bare minimum, thank you all again :) feel free to keep sharing if any!