r/nobuy • u/Oratelic • 16d ago

I’m desperate

So I just moved out for college. For context, I’ve had to live at my parents for two years after adult hood (18-20) due to my Anorexia that needed treatment. it takes about 7-10 years to recover from THAT addiction/disorder, but after 4 years of constant treatment I’m finally in outpatient. the issue, however, is that I realized that if I used a different bad habit, the eating disorder thoughts go away.

Now, this part I might get judged for and I beg to not judge because I’m struggling with the guilt and shame of it all— I have been using my mothers, grandmothers, grandfathers, and aunts debit cards to go online shopping. I don’t have one of my own, and my shopping addiction gives me a greater kick when it’s not my money. I’ve probably spent around 1000 dollars on online auctions and shopping apps which I will not disclose on here. they are completely oblivious and the guilt is killing me but I can’t stop or else my eating disorder will get loud again, and that’s something I really don’t want to do. So, I’ve gone on to Reddit because I’m desperate for anyone that could possibly relate or anyone that can help me figure out how to stop this before it gets even worse. (Excuse my grammar by the way, my structure for writing in this is not good but it is because I’m learning English)

7 Upvotes

66% Upvoted

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27

u/Double_Welcome3739 16d ago

First step is realizing you have this problem. As for what comes next I’d recommend having your parents/grandparents and aunt get entirely new debit cards that they keep on them and close the ones you have access to, despite your problem with anorexia I’d be super guilty if I had to use my family’s hard earned money on measly shopping habits.

5

u/Oratelic 16d ago

Thank you for the advice! I’m not trying to use my anorexia as an excuse, it was just for context. I am a bit nervous for them to find out though.

10

u/Double_Welcome3739 16d ago

They don’t know?? Oh man I’d get an earful if I was in your position 🫤

22

u/brkr509 16d ago

ho lee shit
r/shoppingaddiction would be better suited for you girl

edit: just saw you posted there as well, good luck

16

u/FunMysterious7040 16d ago

given your state, I think you surely have a therapist of some kind. You should talk to him/her about next possible steps... your family should know what is going on though so they can protect their money.

I wish you the best luck figuring this out, you will be fine, but you really need a better coping mechanism - maybe make a list of things you can do? Like some art projects or knitting or something to occupy your mind when you try to stay healthy and not shop for things

10

u/Interesting_Syrup821 12d ago

Hi hi- therapist here. Eating disorders go hand in hand with addiction. Unfortunately, when you “solve” one addiction, it can pop up elsewhere.

I recommend working with a therapist who specializes in eating disorders and addiction. Usually there is something underlying to address, under the behaviors are feelings in need of some attention.

Sending you love on your journey. I promise it can get better 🙌🏻

1

u/ValuableOrganic5381 10d ago

Have you been able to identify what urge or need it's (temporarily) satisfying for you?  Distraction, or control, or escape, I don't know. Confronting and centering that in your problem solving could help a lot. Clearly you want to stop but something is missing. (Metaphorically) What itch does the shopping scratch for you? What other habits could help you meet it?

If you are at all creative (not just traditional art, any sort of doing with your hands or mind) leaning into that could help you figure this out