We just sold our first home to what our agent and lawyer told us was a lovely young couple looking to get on the property ladder. Awesome right, anything we can do to help because we know how tough it can be! We allowed them to do multiple building reports at times that were inconvenient to our family, accepted less than 10% deposit and we even agreed to bring the settlement date forward. We were going to use the upcoming long weekend to move but when they asked to bring forward we agreed thinking they wanted to use the long weekend. We don’t work jobs that allow much time off so we packed and cleaned late into the nights to make sure everything was spick and span for the new owners and ensure that they’d love the house as much as we have..

We moved last night.. only for our agent to phone and ask if we would approve the new owners (who don’t actually settle until later this week) to use the photos from the listing to rent the property out!! We feel like we’ve been taken on a bit of a ride considering the stress we’ve been through in the hopes of making everything as convenient as possible for the new owners only to find out they aren’t even moving in!

Has anyone else been in this position? We know there is nothing we can do but our hearts hurt knowing this couple isn’t going to love the home as we did

Thanks

Maccas, KFC and BK are basically premium restaurant prices now, bakery pies are 5-7 bucks, pizza seems to be the only takeout that is somewhat decent (in price only). Even fish n chips is getting up there for a simple feed.

What the hell, where's my once a fortnight "I can't be fucked to cook" cheap meals gone?

335 stickers plus $50 to get all of the nine items with the maximum stickers. At $20 shopping spend per sticker, and assuming you don’t buy any of the bonus sticker items, that is a total spend of $6,750.

Over the ~11 weeks the promo is running (assuming they don’t do one of those extended endings that they did last time) it comes to ~$613 on shopping per week.

The minimum stickers plus cash amount for comparison, again assuming no bonus stickers, is 189 stickers and $199, coming to a total spend of $3,979.

Yes, I do maths for fun. Do I have a problem?

Wow this has been a rough time for us all.

A week ago, a news story broke on Stuff about the tragic and preventable death of Bellamere Arwyn Duncan due to a medication error made at a community pharmacy in Manawatu.

As a community pharmacist I am constantly aware of the ramifications of my actions. It’s terrifying when you gain your registration and suddenly realize that a simple lapse in concentration has the ability to cause devastation to your patients. Tiny mistakes leave you feeling nauseous. I’m lucky enough that I have not had a big one so far.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a post where I am trying to detract from the pain caused to this family. My colleagues have, through our own channels, expressed an outpouring of grief over this period for all involved. The point I want to raise is that with how our system stands at this point in time, this preventable death is an example of inevitable patient harm. The pharmacy involved was just the final link in a very broken chain.

Here are some facts about our industry, and how close to breaking point a lot of us are.

When you collect a subsidized medication, we are allowed to claim for it from Te Whatu Ora. If you don’t collect it, we aren’t supposed to claim it. It sits as dead stock in limbo until you do, or the script expires. Then we put it back into stock and complain about how much of our time gets wasted for literally nothing. The amount claimed is for the cost of the medications (provided that the medication costs less than about $30 - more than that and it’s not usually reimbursed in full), GST, and a dispensing fee. The dispensing fee is to pay us for our clinical assessment of the prescription, as well as the cost of the containers and labels we use. We are not allowed to charge anything extra if the funding does not cover these costs. The $5 that a lot of you pay when collecting a new script does not go to us - it’s tax that gets fed back to the government. The dispensing fee is approximately $5 per funded item on an initial dispensing. It decreases with subsequent repeats.

That is what your safety is worth. A mountain of responsibility for $5 (or less). We want to provide safe care for our patients, but the system is vastly stacked against us.

We are inundated with scripts daily. My workplaces script count for Monday was 663. That’s with one full-time pharmacist, one part-time pharmacist, and 2 amazing techs. Nationwide, we are all under an immense and unsustainable pressure. I myself usually work a minimum of 50 hours per week. I joke that I must be ok as I haven’t had a stroke yet. I have had 2 hours of sick leave in the past year.

In the past week I have corrected so many prescription errors, ranging from comical (silly doctor! Nasal sprays go in the nose, inhalers go in the mouth!), to frustrating (the same script needing to be phoned about 4 times before getting a correct dosage regimen), to just insanely dangerous (noted anaphylaxis to penicillins and prescribed a penicillin). The local GPs are welcome to bowl in whenever they have a question. They prefer us to their on-staff clinical pharmacist. We are constantly advising them of out of stocks, and what alternatives can be given, how to prescribe new medications, new interactions to look out for, and substitutions for overseas medications that cannot be sourced here. All of this is done for free.

There have been calls to change the laws to ensure that all scripts are checked (not dispensed, checked) by two people. Brilliant. Love this idea. There’s just a couple of issues:

1. There are no pharmacists around. Our attrition rate is abysmal. We can’t fill our professional schools at Otago, Auckland, and now Waikato university, and the people we do get through them are leaving in droves once they’ve registered, either to Australia, or to other fields (I personally know pharmacists who have left to get into IT, police, and ‘anything else’). It feels like we work in a meat grinder some days.

2. Even if we found a pharmacist, we couldn’t afford them. Supply and demand. No supply and huge demand means insane wages, that are not sustainable since your safety is only worth $5 per medication.

3. The government continues to issue new pharmacy licences so new pharmacies can open. It may seem like this initiative is to improve access to pharmaceutical services, but the actual impact it has is to spread an already stretched workforce thinner.

You’ve all read stories about drs and nurses rejecting pitiful funding uplift offers in the face of an overworked and undersupported heath system. Know what our most recent uplift offer was? 3%.

I love my job. I am damn good at it, and I genuinely feel like I serve my community well. As do the majority of my colleagues. It’s something that is sustaining a lot of us for now.

But I also feel like your safety is worth more than $5.

I'm currently battling stage 4 cancer, which has drastically reduced my ability to work. Naturally, I assumed that New Zealand's social support system (WINZ) would provide some assistance given the seriousness of my condition, but after my recent appointment, reality hit hard.

Because my wife works more than 30 hours per week, and our family has savings above WINZ’s $16k threshold, we essentially qualify for no meaningful support. Yet someone with debts (e.g., car loans, credit cards) or no savings at all would be immediately eligible for full assistance.

To clarify, we're not wealthy. We rent our home (no mortgage), drive modest cars, don't even have a TV, and buy most of our clothing from budget-friendly sites like Temu.

We have three children, and our savings are carefully set aside for their future, education, and ongoing support. It feels absurd and genuinely unfair: my wife and I have worked hard, avoided debt, saved responsibly, and paid taxes diligently for years. But now, in a moment of genuine need, the system offers next to no help simply because we've been financially responsible.

On top of that, consider ACC: even minor injuries qualify for up to 80% wage replacement, yet a serious, life-threatening illness leaves me almost entirely unsupported and feeling forced to keep working despite significant health risks.

I'm genuinely frustrated. It seems the message is: "Don't save, don't be responsible; go into debt instead, and we'll help you out." How is that fair?

Has anyone else faced this issue? Is there any strategy or approach I'm missing here?

Would love to hear others' experiences or advice. Thanks in advance.

*EDIT: Thanks to you all for your kind and caring posts. As one commenter said, thanks for being willing to share your own experience so we can all get other's perspectives and ideas. I know the world doesn't owe me a living or a meaning, I know I need to get off my backside, I just hope I can eventually do it. Cheers.*

Male, 56, professional. I've lost all enthusiasm for my profession, and seems I've lost enthusiasm for most things. I quit my job and the thought of getting any job at all seems overwhelming and unattainable. I feel I've lost my edge, mentally. I used to enjoy travelling and tramping (which I used to do hard-core), but I don't have the motivation anymore. The most I can enjoy is slow days looking out the window, and doing a bit of work in my garden.

Luckily I own my house mortgage free. I do have some tens of thousands in the bank, but I'm not really set up for retirement.

Anyone else the same?

There is a buddhist monk walking north from the Stokes Valley monastery this week, for the next sevetal weeks, and they can't ask for food but can only eat what is given to them before noon. Just a heads up, in case you wonder why there is a monk just standing around in your town, holding a bowl. Maybe drop in some food if you have some extra you want to share, if you see him!

Update 20/19/26: . After visiting urgent care, we managed to obtain radiology report from Hamilton ED( radiology report signed 12 hours after we left ED), The report confirmed only a clavicle fracture only. The second fracture (proximal humerus) we were initially verbally told about by the ED doctor was not identified on the report, which is great!

We are currently booked to see a pediatric nurse specialist tomorrow. We also confirmed with urgent care that a referral is strictly required for the fracture clinic, so patients cannot book an appointment directly.

We understand that cross-regional medical record systems can be disconnected, and we truly appreciate that frontline healthcare workers operate under immense pressure. However, a little extra empathy and kindness when answering queries can go a long way. Patients and families are often already navigating high levels of stress, which can easily be compounded by internal miscommunications or conflicting information.
This whole process has also given me valuable insight and reflection for my own job.

Thank you to everyone who reached out with kindness and advice. ❤️

Here is the original post:

I am posting this publicly because I genuinely don’t know where else to turn.
On the evening of 28 September, my daughter was seen at Waikato Hospital ED after suffering an arm fracture. After X-rays, the doctor told us the assessment results, also, as we live in Auckland, she would refer my daughter to an Auckland hospital for a follow-up X-ray in one week.
I specifically asked whether I needed to contact anyone myself if I didn’t hear anything. I was reassured that the referral would be followed up.
It has now been THREE WEEKS, and I have heard absolutely nothing.
I have tried contacting Waikato Hospital multiple times. On Saturday, I eventually spoke to a male staff member who said he would look into the matter, but I have still received no update.
When I called again this evening, I spoke to a receptionist. I was extremely upset by how the call was handled. She did not ask for my daughter’s details or try to establish what had happened to the referral. Instead, I was repeatedly told that I should not be calling, that they could not access the information, and that they had no way of contacting the doctor. She hung up on me three times.
I understand that hospital staff are busy, and I am not expecting special treatment. I am simply a mother trying to find out whether her child will receive the follow-up care that a doctor said she needed.
My daughter has a fracture. I have no confirmation that the referral was ever sent, whether it was received, or whether she still needs a follow-up X-ray and reassessment.
How is a parent supposed to navigate the healthcare system when the hospital that initiated the referral cannot tell us what has happened, and repeated attempts to seek help lead nowhere?
I am not posting this to attack individual staff members. I am asking for accountability, clear communication, and, most importantly, help getting my daughter the appropriate follow-up care.
Waikato Hospital, could someone please take ownership of this situation and contact me urgently?
If anyone knows the appropriate person or department to contact to resolve this, I would be incredibly grateful for your advice.
I have kept a record of my last call and can provide further details if required.
Please help me get an answer for my daughter. 🙏

Update: my daughter was assessed by ED doctor form Waikato hospital when accident happened, no surgery required, conservative treatment(wearing a sling) advised. We’re told a follow up Xray in one week will be referred by ED doctor. No ED discharge form given.

Thanks for the comment from an ED Dr, the right thing to do is contacting fracture clinics in Auckland -either call or walk in.

Appreciate for all advices.

ADD (original post after this)

Thank you so much for all the comments, suggestions, and knowledge. 300+ comments is a lot to reply one by one but i did engage more conversation to some of you.

Some key takeaways. - i think we can agree that career is her main issue. Coming from a director of a well known brand shoe company to minimum wages seems to take a hit on her.

• she needs to find busy hobby or career leap to earn that self autonomy back.

• whether or not mall shopping is her personality and whether or not NZers agree or disagree to the existence of mall is another topic. I must second to those people who understands that mall in South East Asia (SEA) is more than just consumerable activities. Its where we gather with each other and create beautiful memories. In a sense, Malls in SEA is like nature in NZ. They are amazing! We SEA people sure is bad in keeping the nature clean but our Malls are on different level.

• some comments suggest us to go to Australia, Wellington, which is very plausible for us. Not that we want to. But will be highly considered if that is the only way out.

• for her deal with her expectations and life goals is another thing that consistently mentioned in the comments

• separation is not an option for us, i love her and want to work things up. Maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle.

• money wise is also mentioned. Frequent visit (not moving) to Australia, our home or USA is recommended. Although that would be heavy on the wallet. Well... guess we have to find a way to do that.

Will add more if i find more.

ORIGINAL POST

TLDR: Wife is bored with NZ slow life culture (which im a fan of). Have done all sort of adventure and trip. What to do so she can love NZ again? Philosophical comments are welcome.

For context, we (M38, F34, M4) are immigrant family who came here at 2019. Been here for 6 years now.

I got my residency almost 2 years ago and will get the PR this June.

For me, NZ is heaven. Like litteraly. I enjoy the nature, the culture, everything. Been traveling north and south island campervanning, plenty of road trips. never get bored.

We just bought an SUV, too and planning to do some caravan (which i found to be more convenient than campervan).

For me, i just love NZ so much.

However its not the same with the missus... if it can be summarised, she would probably say. What else to NZ other than nature?

She is indeed a mall and hangout type of a woman and we come from a country (south east asia). Where malls are much bigger than here, malls are open until really late... everyday. There is always something to do at night, which is very contrast to NZ culture.

Here in Auckland, the busiest city in NZ. Our normal weekly trip is to go to malls to satisfy her need. But Newmarket, Sylvia park and albany started to not entertain her anymore.

When IKEA opened, she was excited but then the excitement started to wear off again.

I have a hunch that the comments would more philosophical than not. So just some more context. Relationship-wise, we are pretty solid couple. Been married 7 years with ups and downs.

Did she want to go to NZ? yes... and i told her that marrying me means we go abroad and will not stay in the country we lived in.

We never have went home in our 6 years living here. But im not restricting her. In fact when we had extra money, we went to other country than home. Its her that didn't want to go home.

Friends, we have some. Consistently meet them now and then, we even going to road trip next week.

Part of the problem i see i think its her career. I was the one who secured our Residency. I got my education, my good paying job and her not so much.

Shes been working in minimal wages for all of those 6 years. I told her to probably invest in herself to probably get a more challenging job to occupy herself. But her reasoning was that we are still building a family (4 y/o son and planning number 2) and going school and changing job would create another stress.

She had a high position in our country and sacrificed it for the family which i respect her for that. No doubt.

Another part of the problem is probably budget. We are saving for a house which means a lot of the income goes to saving. After our last trip overseas, i told her that we need to slow down a bit as we plan to buy a house. We did though, before such decision, have a quite "comfortable" live with all the travel, purchasing stuff. But the honeymoon phase is finished.

So any suggestions maybe? Anything would be appreciated. You are welcome to comment anything as it would help me a lot.

Personally, i dont want to go back to our country and im running on ideas on how to entertain her.

Whether it’s by your own choice, religious reasons, work commitments, family issues, or simply out of your control, you’re not the only one not celebrating today. What are you doing with your time?

Special shout out to everyone in healthcare and the police giving up family time to work your shift. Public holidays are a whole other thing in essential services and it’s very appreciated.

Edit/Update: UPDATE: I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone who has commented, messaged and offered support. 🥹 I genuinely never expected this post do so well. I made it because I was (and still am) completely lost and confused, so seeing so many people share their experiences, reassure me, tell me to keep pushing, and even offer to help me financially has honestly left me overwhelmed in the best way. I’m so incredibly grateful. 💓

A few reporters/editors/journalists have also reached out to me. I haven’t spoken to anyone yet because I’m still trying to process everything, but I’ve decided I will be going to the media and I might put my name to my story. The people close to me who know what’s happening think that being identifiable may hopefully help get things moving, although I’m obviously still nervous about it.

I’ve also been a bit MIA today because I’ve spent most of the day trying to sort out private options and get some idea of costs. Unfortunately, I can’t get anywhere without the referral first, so I won’t really know what my options or the costs will be until my appointment on Tuesday morning. I’ll update everyone once I know more.

As for the offers to help financially, I genuinely never expected or asked for that, and nobody needs to contribute anything. I’m incredibly grateful that people have even offered, especially when I know how hard things are financially for so many people. 🫶🏼** I’m not sure yet whether something like GoFundMe or PayPal would be better, I don’t feel fully comfortable with putting my bank details online, so I’ll figure that out if it becomes necessary**.

I’m trying my best to reply to everyone, but my symptoms have been playing up and I don’t have the energy to respond to every comment right now. I’ve tried to upvote everything so you know I’ve seen it. Please know I really do appreciate every single person who has taken the time to reach out. ❤️‍🩹

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This is long, sorry 😭 TL;DR is at the top for anyone who doesn’t have time to read the whole thing, but if you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate you reading the full post because there’s a bit more context to what I’m asking.

TL;DR: I’m 26F with a breast lump that has been growing for almost 6 years, with worsening symptoms and a family history of breast cancer. My GP is very concerned and has been pushing for a biopsy for around 2 years, but the hospital has repeatedly told me I’m too young and to wait another 6 months. Even after an ultrasound this year where the doctor couldn’t determine whether the lump was benign or malignant and sent me for an emergency mammogram, I was ultimately told it was a swollen milk duct and that I didn’t need a biopsy. I’m hoping to hear from other NZ women who have been through something similar with the public system and whether they eventually got properly investigated.

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Hi everyone. Has anyone in NZ had a similar experience with a persistent breast lump and repeatedly being told to wait because of their age?

I’m a 26F and I’m hoping to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience with the NZ public health system, particularly anyone who was repeatedly told they were “too young” for something serious, only to eventually be investigated further??

I’m not looking for medical advice - I am already being seen by my GP, who has been absolutely lovely and has been advocating for me throughout this. I’m more interested in hearing from people who have experienced something similar, whether their eventual diagnosis turned out to be something serious or completely benign, and especially whether anyone has gone through the same back-and-forth with the hospital.

I’ve had a lump in my right breast, around the 10 o’clock position, since around January-February 2021. When I first noticed it, it was roughly cherry-tomato sized, irregular but somewhat circular, and not particularly moveable. It has gradually grown over the years and is now much larger, more rectangular in shape, and visually quite obvious. My symptoms have also progressed. I won’t list every single symptom because there are quite a few, but the main ones are:

1. A non-moveable, growing breast lump that has changed in shape and is now very visible.
2. Inverted nipple.
3. Orange-peel-like skin, flaking, and occasional sores over/on the area of the lump.
4. The lump has become large enough that you can visibly see it.
5. Numbness over the area of the right breast where the lump is.
6. Severe night sweats that have continued and won’t go away.
7. Right shoulder pain.
8. A swollen lymph node around my collarbone, which then progressed to swollen lymph nodes in my neck. What originally started as one swollen neck lymph node became two, then four, and now multiple swollen nodes, which my GP has confirmed.
9. No obvious armpit lymph-node involvement, although the area is swollen and tender.

There are other symptoms as well, but those are the main ones.

(Breast cancer also runs in my family, which has understandably made this whole situation even more frightening for me.)

My GP is very concerned and has been trying to get me investigated properly. My blood tests apparently haven’t shown an obvious infection or inflammation that would explain the swollen lymph nodes. My GP also gave me a course of antibiotics to make sure we weren’t overlooking an infection as a possible cause.

She has been trying to get me a biopsy for around two years, particularly because the breast lump has continued to grow and because the combination of symptoms such as the shoulder pain, night sweats and lymph-node involvement has been worsening.

She has been fantastic throughout this and has repeatedly advocated for me. She has also warned me that referrals are often being declined, so I understand that there are pressures on the public system. What has been difficult for me is feeling like my age has repeatedly been the main reason I haven’t been investigated further.

I first had an ultrasound in 2021, when I initially noticed the lump, and was told to monitor it for growth. I mostly forgot about it for a while until it started causing me more problems in 2024. Throughout 2024, the hospital repeatedly declined to see me because of my age, saying that it was very unlikely to be anything serious and asking me to come back in six months…so I did. And I was told essentially the same thing again.

Eventually, I was accepted for another ultrasound at the beginning of this year, in January 2026. During the ultrasound, the doctor performing it looked me in the eyes and told me, “I have no idea if this is benign or malignant.”

I have learning disabilities and genuinely didn’t understand what those terms meant at the time, so I didn’t realise how significant that statement was until I googled them afterwards. I was understandably shocked and quite frightened by this.

I was then sent to the waiting room for what I was told was an emergency mammogram. I had the mammogram, and then… nothing?!

Months went by without hearing anything. My GP kept chasing the hospital for the results, and eventually the response was that it was a swollen milk duct, no lump had shown, and no biopsy was needed.

This was extremely confusing for me because there very clearly was a palpable lump, and during the ultrasound the doctor had been unable to determine whether it appeared benign or malignant and had sent me for an urgent mammogram.

I don’t want to accuse anyone of doing anything deliberately wrong, because I obviously don’t know what happened behind the scenes or how these decisions are made. I’m simply trying to understand how I ended up in this position and whether anyone else has experienced something similar to this?

My GP requested another ultrasound and biopsy referral, but again the hospital response was essentially to wait another six months because of how unlikely something serious is considered to be at my age.

The difference now is that I’ve had this lump for almost six years, it has continued to grow, and my symptoms have become considerably more noticeable.

The hospital’s position seems to have changed from “you’re too young for this to be something serious” to more of “even though the lump is growing and your symptoms have progressed, we still don’t feel it warrants a biopsy and you should come back in six months.”

I genuinely don’t know what to make of it anymore. I’m exhausted, confused and sad. I also can’t afford to go privately for a biopsy, so that’s unfortunately not an option for me.

I’m posting because I’d really like to hear from other New Zealanders who have experienced something similar - not necessarily people whose lumps turned out to be cancer, but people who had a persistent or growing lump and/or concerning symptoms and were repeatedly told to wait, particularly because of their age.

Did anyone else feel like they were being dismissed or repeatedly sent away before eventually getting properly investigated? Did you eventually get a biopsy or further testing after being told you didn’t need one? And if you did, was it ultimately something serious, or did it turn out to be completely benign?

I’m also aware that anxiety can make situations like this feel much bigger than they actually are, which is partly why I’m asking. I’m genuinely worried that I’m putting myself through all of this stress only to eventually find out that it was nothing serious and the hospital was right all along.

At the same time, I’m struggling with the fact that the situation doesn’t seem to be improving and I don’t know whether I’ll ever actually get the biopsy my GP has been trying to get for me.

Again, I’m not asking Reddit to diagnose me or tell me whether this is cancer. I’m already under the care of my GP. I’m just hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar and can tell me what happened in their own experience.

Thanks to anyone who takes the time to share. ❤️‍🩹

I am 23 years old, trying to look for a job, been applying for max 50+ jobs a week, still having no luck, my background is warehousing and logistics, food production and call centre, I am in desperate need of a job at the moment.

I work as a nurse in mental health and finished at 11 pm

Then a call from my daughter (30) saying obviously I don’t care about her because I’m not giving her a enough emotional support for her quitting Vaping journey.

The conversation went on for 45 minutes. I had to hang up which made me feel very sad, and I was feeling really shaky.

I rang 1737 just for a chat but they’re not taking calls and hung up.

This is an ongoing saga for the last 15 years. My daughter is 30 years old now it was all about poor me, you don’t care about me and then blaming me for not caring enough.

I have worked a very difficult shift in the Mental Health ward tonight. Now I deserve to rest but I’m feeling really shaken up.

She’s gaslighting and manipulative and definitely has a personality disorder

In the last few weeks she has called me f**n sh**y excuse for a Mother - and worse

I don’t have many people to talk to at all about this but I will be seeing my Psychologist next week.

After work I checked my phone and there were 176 messages.

She’s not a any risk of self harm tonight. She expects “emotional support “ 24/7 and it’s just not humanly possible.

All the love I give her is never enough. I see her every week on my days off but it’s never enough for her.

Thank you for listening.

EDIT- I get it- the nicotine withdrawals quitting vaping are brutal.

But being told “you obviously don’t care about me “ etc etc etc - is also brutal

EDIT 2. Woke up this morning to some very kind and helpful replies and a lot about boundaries with her.

Usually I have her calls muted and number blocked. Very sad but if I don’t she calls me at work etc

After some verbal abuse a few weeks ago I didn’t speak to her for a couple of weeks

The boundaries are difficult because after I set one of course she tries to break it.

Eg, she’s muted, but I can read her messages demanding “support “

When I eventually contact her it’s a barrrage about me not contacting her enough as proof of my “lack of support “

I have been speaking to my psychologist about the best way to have very strong boundaries with her.

One of them obviously is no late night calls. I had her number unblocked last evening and then what I described unfolded. She’s now blocked again for my sanity.

Unfortunately she wants constant contact and “emotional support “ Trying to give support and still have very strong boundaries is an extremely difficult balance which I am working on with the help of my psychologist.

Thanks everyone for your kind words and support.

Born in NZ but my family’s from a war torn country and honestly one thing that’s always messed with my head is how emotionally repressed people feel here. And how depressing the impact is, our young people, middle aged people, almost everyone I know is dealing with some form of Mental health issues and it feels like an endless loop of losing people to Mental health and trying to engage with people on the street with warmth and receiving the energy of a human spirit trapped in a stoic store mannequin.

Like why are people SO afraid of feelings

Not even in a dramatic way, I just mean any emotion that’s uncomfortable or vulnerable.

The normal human spectrum of emotion that we all have (hopefully). Not to generalise but the conflict resolution skills here are so sad. Time and time again I have seen friends from international countries lose their light despite living like "Kings" In comparison to our family back home. And time and time again It boils back down to loneliness, isolation and repression. I was born in NZ and Feel super grateful to be here everyday, but back home, despite everything people are surviving, emotions are just… normal? People cry openly, argue loudly, comfort each other, depend on community, express love openly, excitement isn't side eyed, you say hello to people you don't know because they are HUMAN.

Why is it that some people are so uncomfortable with friendliness here? It's almost seen as a threat?

And before anyone gets defensive, I’m obviously not saying EVERYONE in NZ is like this. And I believe everyone is trying their absolute best with what they have, I’ve met emotionally intelligent, open people too. But there’s definitely a culture here of avoiding discomfort and I genuinely wonder if it contributes to the insane mental health and substance abuse here. Having worked with children and young people the effect I see is really disheartening and honestly unnatural for our human condition.

As a psych major I find it genuinely fascinating because humans are not built to suppress our emotional range to this extent without it having a severe psychological impact, this doesn't mean expressing every feeling obviously but just regular day to day feelings and struggles we all experience as a part of being on this earth.

Part of me wonders whether it’s connected to British influence? Like the whole “stiff upper lip,” don’t burden others, keep the peace and politeness culture . Because sometimes it feels like vulnerability itself is socially uncomfortable here.

I feel like i'm losing my mind because I am noticing myself become more numb, less expressive every year that goes by, has anyone else felt this way?

am I projecting, Genuinely

If you’re a woman in Christchurch or anywhere in New Zealand, who has been suffering from ongoing women’s health issues for three years or longer, repeatedly gaslit and dismissed by GPs and gynaecologists across New Zealand, this is for you.

Despite persistent symptoms, all my BV, yeast, and STI tests continued to come back negative. No doctor or specialist took the time to properly listen or investigate what I had been experiencing. After consulting with a well-known specialist at St George’s Hospital in Christchurch I was advised to simply use Dove soap and return in six weeks if symptoms didn’t improve — after being charged $315. Did not even bother examining me while my last examination in Auckland was in June - July and I went to see them in December. Horrible experience.

I was also placed on a waitlist with Te Whatu Ora for seven months following a GP referral, only to be offered a virtual group pelvic floor therapy session, without any meaningful investigation into a possible underlying issue or infection.

I eventually sought help at The V Clinic in Christchurch, and I cannot recommend them highly enough. Dr Jess was exceptional — empathetic, thorough, and generous with her time. She spent 1.5 hours with me, conducted multiple examinations, and immediately identified that my vaginal pH was significantly off, a basic test that no one else had bothered to check.

I cried in her room simply because, for the first time in years, someone truly listened and took me seriously. I finally feel hopeful, mentally relieved, and confident that I’ve found the right care.

I’m 39f, married with 2 older kids. The highlight of one of my kids weekend was buying $10 robux. The first time we’ve ever let him spend ‘his pocket money’ on gaming stuff. We own our home, I have no friends and no social life, me and my partner work our arses off and bring in decent salaries $200k combined. We have a maxed out credit card and $800 savings. Tried selling our house to lessen our mortgage but it’s not selling at what we need. Partner has some good friends so he’s ok. Our weekends consist of life admin and then tech time. We aren’t struggling but there’s no living going on and I’ve just realised how depressing and how boring my kids lives must be compared to their friends. I hope it’s just a season and we can improve somehow but man. Anxious and depressed and lost. I hope this is a throwaway/untraceable account lol.

G'day Kiwis,

Thanks.

Thanks for being a cool bro, Thanks for giving us a hard time, thanks for Pavlova, Phar Lap, the Finn brothers and I suppose even Russel Crowe.

Thanks for coming over and staying, thanks for being the butt of sheep jokes, for flogging us in Rugby, and thanks for your awesome pies.

Most of all, thanks for being there.

Love always, Australia.

Lest we forget,

Kia Ora all!

This may seem like an odd request, however, I have nowhere else to turn! And I trust the goodwill of New Zealand to help in this world ending matter…

From a flying visit to the North Island I brought back a cherished kiwi souvenir (lovingly named Wiwi…) for my partner. For context I am serving armed forces and deployed to the Pacific region for 4 months. This stuffed toy meant a lot to my partner in my absence and I have been informed I am going away for a further 3 months so would have served as a useful emotional support tool. Gut-wrenchingly Wiwi the Kiwi was accidentally lost on the train and has been searched for but to no success…

My ask… would be that I purchase a replacement (I have sourced online) be sent to your address where I kindly request you forward it onwards to the UK! The site doesn’t offer postage outside of NZ hence my dilemma…

This should come at no cost to you and all reimbursement will be paid in full!

Thank you!

EDIT: Woah! Posted this on a whim and did not expect so many replies. Been head down the past day, muddling through, but coming back to a bunch of strangers saying the most encouraging things has been amazing. And so uplifting. Thank you, internet. You’re the best 🫶🏻

—-

Y’all, it’s brutal. Just found out today. And the job market is non existent at the best of times these days, never mind this close to Christmas.

I have a wee little baby too 😭

Feeling sad and scared.

On that note, anyone need any comms work doing? PR disaster I can help clean up?? haha

When I chat with a new uni student I might ask them what they want to do for a job, what they do for fun, what interests them, what pisses them off, what motivates them.

In 20 years, I've never asked someone what their NCEA Results were. They don't define you and pretty quickly, many won't care.

It's ok to feel disappointed if you didn't get the results you wanted (especially if you missed out on a scholarship or perfect program you wanted to get into). You worked hard and if you didn't get what you expected, it can feel like a waste, but trust me, it's all good.

Whether you go to uni or not, whether you pick up a trade or just enjoy life for a bit, you'll realise how little a few bad marks make in your life especially if you tried your best.

I’m 18. Dad died May from Alzheimer’s. This will be my first year without anyone to say Happy Father’s Day to (I don’t have any other ‘fatherly figures’), and I’m not coping with it very well

So, thought maybe I could give a little positivity to someone in the opposite situation to me

Alternatively, what’s everyone doing for Father’s day? Or any other weekend plans?

Edit: I can’t reply to all the lovely comments I’ve gotten, but I’m really grateful for so many kind words. Thank you everyone who’s taken time out their day to send a little bit of positivity and support to me. I really appreciate it, even though it might seem small to others

It's that time of year again! It's way too hot, I've eaten way too much chocolate, I can sing "All I want for Christmas" word for word from memory, and if you're in need - I'd like to buy you dinner :)

I've got $200 to spend, which I think will buy about 10 people dinner. You'll have to be able to go pick it up from your chosen place, you just let me know what you want (keeping in mind we're aiming for $20 or less per person). No delivery sorry, it chews the budget up super fast. I will order with whatever name you give me, and it has to be somewhere I can order from online with a credit card.

I'll look to order around 6/6:30ish PM. I likely can't buy for everyone and it's possible I just have to pick at random.

Mini FAQ:

• How do you know the person is in need?

I don't, but I'm assuming if they want free food off the internet, they probably need it. I'm not asking questions or means testing people

• I don't want to post here, can I message you?

Sure, but please no more messages after 6:30pm

• Why don't you give the money to Auckland City Mission/Foodbank/Insert Charity here

There's nothing that says I can't do both of these things. But also, not everything has to be about the maximum value extracted possible, and it is just a good feeling to get something nice for someone in need.

Hope everyone's having a great day 🎅

I just had my driving test but got an immediate fail right here. There was a truck coming out of that driveway in the middle intending to go out but I was coming in to turn around in the cul de sac. Apparently I was meant to give way to the truck and stop in the left part of the cul de sac but it was coming out of a driveway not a public road? Was the tester fair or no? This was in fielding cuz I thought that the traffic in Palmerston would make it more difficult.

Original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/newzealand/comments/1g82ln5/daughter_15f_experiencing_first_psychosis_episode/

Really big thank you to everyone who commented on my panicked post last week with advice, suggestions and even personal stories. It was a massive help, and it helped make us not feel so alone. Seeing her in the high dependency unit on the first morning absolutely broke my heart, but she made really good progress through the week and is almost back to her old self, the doctors have confirmed she still has the delusions, but she is keeping quiet about them.

We are all back home today and have a care plan in place, hopefully she will be able to get back to school by Thursday! Really thankful for having been accommodated at the Ronald McDonald House too, and the petrol vouchers were a massive help!

They're still not 100% on a diagnosis but our daughter has been prescribed Lorazepam (anti-anxiety) & Olanzapine (anti-psychosis) meds that she will stay on for the next few months and potentially look at tapering off once everything settles (particularly with the baby coming very soon, which is a big event that could be triggering). They're leaning towards bipolar but we're all hopeful this was a once off episode that was caught early, and doesn't eventuate into anything, but only time will tell. It will be a long journey ahead for us.

Always happy to chat if anyone has questions, now or in the future.

Thanks again <3

Is PB Tech trustworthy? I'm from Australia and have come across this site. I am looking at this monitor, and it's extremely cheap compared to normal retailers, which sell it for around 2.2K+. Apparently this is a normal store in New Zealand (?), and I have seen some posts about PB Tech here, so I thought I'd post it here. Due to the low price, I'm concerned about the legitimacy and whatnot; any help is appreciated. Thank you. https://www.pbtech.com/au/product/MONLGL43288/LG-UltraGear-32GX870A-B-32-4K-UHD-240Hz-OLED-Gamin