We were together for 15 years and at the beginning of this year she came out as trans. The previous year had been terrible for so many reasons and our relationship had some issues but I could tell something was wrong with her and when she came out I thought it was a turning point for things to get better. We had started exploring sex in a new dynamic and I supported her as she came out to various people in her life. I was so excited about the changes the hormones were making and it was so nice to see a more outgoing and happy side of her.

That made it all the more life shattering when she told me a couple weeks ago that she needed a break. She said she was questioning her sexuality as well as struggling with her attraction to me since I had gained weight. I have been struggling with my health and weight gain for years but she had never said anything about it before.

We got together today to talk a few things out. We had floated the idea of an open relationship last week, which is something I was open to discussing, but the more we talked today the more it became clear she really just wanted out of the relationship.

My heart is broken. For the first time in a long time I thought everything was moving in the right direction. I just got accepted into school after deciding to go back to school at 36. I was genuinely happy and excited about all the changes in our relationship and our new dynamic. Life was finally moving forward in a good direction. This feels like a blow I can't recover from. I am not ready to say goodbye.

She insists she just needs a few months break to explore her sexuality but I don't think I can handle that. An open relationship where I was aware what was going on and we were still working through things together and going to therapy is one thing, but just leaving me entirely to go have sex with other people and then taking me back later is not something I think I can handle. I also genuinely don't think she will want to come back after the break anyways. I dont understand how leaving fixes any of the issues that have come up. If she feels this way now I don't know what a few months will change.

There is also a part of me that feels used. If she was having these misgivings this year why was I blindsided by this. I stood by her and went with her to come out to all sorts of different family members. I literally went on a trip to visit her extended family the weekend before she said she needed a break. It was the last group of people she needed to come out to. We got matching tattoos a few months ago and it was her suggestion (I know stupid move but it isn't names or anything at least) I didnt even question it because its been 15 years and I planned on spending my life with her.

I don't know what to do with myself right now.

My wife is a trans women. I love her endlessly. When I started my job a few years ago she wasn't out and was my husband at the time. So at work I'd refer to her as "he/him husband and dead name"

Well now it's been two years and I now refer to her as "my partner and her new name" and no longer say husband. Nobody seems to care that the name changed randomly and I use partner now but I haven't told them she is a she.

I have a staff party coming up for Xmas and I want her to come with me (past times she hasn't because we didn't find a babysitter) but this year I'm pretty sure she can come. How do I tell my work mates after all this time (2 years) that my partner is my wife and a woman.

I work with mostly religious people from various Asian countries and I've been scared of being treaded differently or shunned in some way. I really love my coworkers and I don't want to make work awkward for me (job market is shit in my country so I'm lucky I have a job and don't want to move away from the security) but it's time. I feel like I can't just rock up to the staff party with a trans woman and introduce her to people like that. It'll be awkward to everyone and make her self conscious.

Advice please from someone who should've said something years ago anyway

i'm a trans man and i have a partner who is a trans woman. we met almost 2 years ago and immediately took a liking to one another. i felt so safe around her always because she's another trans individual, and i've always felt more comfortable in a t4t relationship. however, she is extremely insecure and dysphoric almost all the time. i have always done my best to tell her otherwise because i truly do find her beautiful and see her as a woman. lately she feels helpless and like there is no point in it all because she feels like she will never look how she wants to. i know she is easily affected by people she sees online, mainly pinterest and twitter, and will constantly compare herself to conventionally attractive both cis and trans women. the issue is mainly how she sees her body as not feminine or curvy enough and super masculine, but she also believes that her face is too manly as well. i just want her to see what i see and be happy with herself, but i know me comforting and trying to understand her wont be enough. she is on hrt and stopped taking it since yesterday and im so worried because she told me how miserable she was before starting her transtion. all i want is the best for her, and i want it to be her by my side for as long as possible. im deeply saddened that she thinks its all pointless and that she'll never find herself in a way she wants to be. i am bisexual so im not worried about losing attraction to her or anything, but im almost certain she's going to be in a terrible place mentally. i really dont know what to do to help her but i would do anything. i would love some advice on how she can be helped because i dont want her mental state to worsen :(

Throw away account, I f(29) and my partner (mtf24) have been together for about a year. They came out to me early and I never had much issue with it. Honestly I was excited for them. I wanted to be there and support them as they did all of this. However they are scared to actually transition. And its effecting everything now.

We have a good relationship overall, but the last few months have been horrible. They wont talk, get irritated if i ask about it and our intimate life has gotten so non existent I told my doctor I was no longer active. I love them. Dearly. I wanted to spend my life with them but now its gotten so bad that they are miserable and making me miserable eith them. Im not sure if theres more I can do, ive talked to them about it but I keep getting shut down on. I feel unloved and unwanted and as much as I want to be supportive im scared its time to end things and just move forward.

Any advice on how I can fix this? Or should I just cut my losses?

Im a cis woman (26) whose partner just came out to me as trans (26 MtF). We’ve been together for just over three years. This is the longest and happiest relationship Ive ever been in. They came out to me as nonbinary a little bit earlier in our relationship, and i had concerns about if they would change how they presented themselves, but they reassured me that there would be no changes. To be honest I was really scared they would realize they were trans eventually because I felt I would struggle with the bigger change.

The thing that I have been worried about is attraction. I’ve still been figuring out what exactly my sexuality is these several years, I know im not straight but i also know i feel a bit pickier about the types of people i find attractive. I like androgyny and have experience with nonbinary AMAB people prior to my partner, but how attracted i am is usually attached to certain aesthetics or levels of femininity and masculinity. Right now i dont know if i am even into cis women, let alone trans women especially within the context of more feminine presenting individuals. Not to mention, i already struggle with intimacy issues from past traumatic experiences. My partner expressed wanting boobs and presenting more feminine when they came out to me and my reaction was essentially full of grief and fear.

I am generally an anxious person and this has really put me in a spiral. Selfishly, i wish nothing would change. Theyre my best friend and i feel so happy in the relationship. I love the life we have built together, but i know they deserve someone who is attracted to them when they present in a way that feels authentic to them. I also acknowledge that I cannot force myself to be attracted to something that Im not. While my initial reaction was rough, im hoping to try and take every day as it comes. I dont want to break up but I know our relationship is going to look completely different. I love them so much and I am so so worried about an inevitable breakup & obviously feel terrible that i didnt have a happy reaction… especially since I do consider myself queer and support the trans community.

Anyways, ive been doing a lot of reading on here because i dont even know what to think or do. Would love to hear about those who have similar experiences and perhaps any resources to help me in this process. They dont want me to talk to anyone about it besides a therapist because they arent ready to come out yet. i asked if i could talk to one friend about it and got permission but im worried about it being hard for me to process with such little support. Anyways - any books, resources, or strategies would be much appreciated.

Me (25F) and my husband (22MTF) just got married in September and we had talked about him starting HRT back in January but decided not to. Here recently, he has brought it back up and is set on doing it. We talked about it after I got off of work and I thought I was ok but I’ve been profusely crying to the point I’ve broken out in hives and I can’t even figure out why I’m crying. I’m so happy that he knows what he wants and I’m in full support of it. So why am I crying so much? When we met online through a video game, I was in the understanding that he had already transitioned and I was completely fine with that. I love men, women and everyone. When we finally FaceTimed for the first time was when I found out he hadn’t transitioned but it was my own fault for assuming and not asking.

But I’m just wondering what I should do to support him and how. He’s trying to lose weight. He’s 5’11 so he’s quite a bit taller than me so it’s hard for me to just share my clothes because I’m 5’5 at 130 lbs.

We both want biological kids and I’ve researched a little bit about HRT and he wants to try to have kids now before he starts. I just fear that there will be resentment towards our child because they came from who he was before HRT. But I also fear that after he transitions that he’ll feel the same as he does now and just want to detransition and it’ll make him feel even worse.

My girlfriend is a cisgender female and is looking for a book she can read to help better understand me as a trans man in our relationship. She wants almost a guide book about being a supportive partner specifically for a trans person. All the books we keep finding are for people who came out while already dating which is not the case.