r/mildlyinfuriating • u/ShortRasp • May 21 '26

SPOILER ALERT I Got 2 VERY IMPORTANT Notifications In the Wrong Order. Spoiler

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Imagine if your family member is famous and you get notified he died. Then you get a notification that he's just sick. Then you decide to call straight to the source and you find out your family member did indeed die.

Edit: if this is how you find out, I apologize. I did use the spoiler flair and tag, but still. I'm sorry.

Edit: the body text is a hypothetical "imagine if this happened to you." I don't know this man or anyone in his family. I did like him as a racer though so this does feel important to me.

14.5k Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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6.3k

u/W2Sun May 21 '26

It happens. My (first responder) dad found out my brother died when everyone started tracking him down on shift relieved and confused that he was alive and well. The radio calls about insert last name here were actually about my brother.

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u/ShortRasp May 21 '26

That's terrible!

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u/Goldilocks1454 May 22 '26

Oh that's so profoundly sad! sorry your family went through that

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u/Kick_Natherina May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

Yeah.. it happened to me when my dad died. I was told he was sick at the hospital by my grandfather. We rushed to the hospital he told us he was at.. only for us to get there, find out he wasn’t there, decide to try another hospital 35 minutes away. We got there and he had died before we made it.

Not that it would have changed much, and the story isn’t exact, but you get the point.

Edit: He died on the way to the hospital, which my grandfather knew. He told us he was sick instead… that side of the family is fucked up.

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u/jack-of-some May 22 '26

There might be other reasons for that side of the family to be fucked but please know that some people find it really difficult to give this news. It's like, the worse thing you can ever tell someone. I had to tell my wife that my father had passed away and it was some of the most difficult words to get out and it particularly sucked that we found out while on a layover on a flight to go see him.

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u/Quick_Assignment8861 May 22 '26

True that, I found out my dad died through LinkedIn, while on vacation in tokyo.

Rough rest of the vacation.

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u/MartinBroMotorsports May 22 '26

Yeah when my dad died, I told my grandma that she needed to get to the house. I think I said something about how the ambulance was already on its way, but we needed her there.

I was 22, my mom had died like 6 years before, from a 4 year battle with cancer.

But it was unexpected with my dad, and knew I couldn’t just tell her over the phone.

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u/Kick_Natherina May 22 '26

I don’t fault my grandfather. He was losing his son actively, which no parent should ever experience.. so I can imagine grief may have clouded his decision making. He did more to communicate it with me than my aunts, cousins or anyone else that knew before me.

My parents were freshly divorced and I lived with my mom, so I would have had no way of knowing without one of them telling me. 

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u/Rich_Bluejay3020 May 22 '26

You never really know how you’re going to react until you have to do it… when my cousin died my mom called me sobbing. When my ex’s mom called me because he died, she was relatively calm because I’m sure she was in shock. When she couldn’t get ahold of his paternal grandparents who lived pretty close to me in a different state from her, *I* had to tell them. I practiced and practiced and practiced on the drive over there and honestly I can’t remember what I said. I know that his grandpa, who is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met, asked me at least five times “so grandchild is actually dead?” Every time it got harder to tell him yes 😭

Also worth noting both of them happened to be in their late 20s and their deaths were extremely unexpected.

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u/alluring_rose_ May 22 '26

One of the hardest things I’ve had to do was at 14, when my mom couldn’t find her words to make the call- calling my sister to tell her that our dad had a massive heart attack and the outlook was not good. He ended up passing 2 days later and I still think about that phone call here and there.

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u/Contagious510 May 22 '26

Im so sorry for your loss.

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u/Kick_Natherina May 22 '26

Thanks friend. This was 18 years ago when I was 18. Time has healed a most of the wound. 

I appreciate the kind words.

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u/ChippyPancakes May 22 '26

Something similar happened to me too. My family told me my mom had a heart attack when I got home around 3pm and we were rushing to the hospital. Come to find out they all knew she has already passed and had had the heart attack at around 10am and was dead when my dad got home before me.

All of that to say I’m sorry you went through that. Having hope and then having that bubble burst suddenly and finding out other knew and just didn’t tell you is another kind of pain.

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u/savagewolf666 May 22 '26

It happens all the time in small towns youll just be at home and start getting phone calls offering condolences. My dads cousin died last week he gets a phone call offering condolences (insert confused face) he calls my grandma asking wtf is going on, who then called my dads uncle and thats how my dads uncle found out his son had died. A phone call from a nosy person who had been told what they shouldnt.

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u/BaldKibbles May 22 '26

The new norm is people posting on the deceased social media accounts before the family finds out or can grieve. All just for the clout and attention.

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u/jtb1313 May 22 '26

It happened to my mom. She had surgery in the afternoon and at 9pm we found out that a relative that she was extremely close to had died and we asked everyone to not post online until noon so that we could tell her when visitor hours opened up in the morning at the hospital. I was literally tying my shoes to go there when she called us crying. All because someone couldn't hold out 1 more hour. SMH

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u/sle2g7 May 22 '26

That almost happened to me. My grandma died while I was at work. My mom usually likes to wait to tell us news like that until we’re home and can grieve privately. I guess my aunt immediately posted something on Facebook and my mom didn’t want us kids finding out that way so she had to very quickly call all of us before we’d have a chance to see it. I hid in a supply closet until I could pull it together to get myself home.

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u/TabaxiTaxi73 May 22 '26

This happened to me. My grandma passed away overnight and I found out because my aunt posted about it on Facebook in the middle of the night, and I was just scrolling before I got up for work and saw

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u/ijustsailedaway May 22 '26

There are two people in my family that will always be the absolute last to know about anything going on because of that behaviour.

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u/magneticeverything May 22 '26

Me too. After months of living with my grandma and providing her hospice care, I took a vacation with my boyfriend’s family. She died the morning I was already meant to fly home so my parents decided to wait and tell me in person when I landed. Unfortunately for them, they made the dumb decision to tell the aunts and uncles on the other side, who promptly turned around to text me condolences just as the plane was taxiing. I was frantically texting my parents asking what was going on and trying to buy WiFi so I could get an answer. And on top of that, I had forgotten to pack enough of one of my medicines and was having crazy withdrawal symptoms (though at the time I thought I had like a 24h stomach bug, since my bf’s little bro was also suddenly ill). So I was just sobbing and trying not to throw up in my seat out of nowhere… The poor older ladies next to me kept giving each other nervous glances like they thought I was losing it. I must have looked like a crazy mess.

Anyways I get why my parents wanted to wait, but they definitely should not have told other, unrelated people until after all the immediate family knew.

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u/BellicoseBelle May 22 '26

This happened to me when my brother died. And this was 2013! I went on Facebook and saw “RIP” posts on his page. I’m still angry about it.

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u/Polar_Version875 May 22 '26

Same. My ex found out his favorite uncle died unexpectedly by logging into facebook one morning and seeing all the RIP posts. The guy’s MOM hadn’t even been told yet. I’m still furious on their behalf.

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u/inmynothing May 22 '26

This has been happening since the advent of social media.

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u/PeaceLily86 May 22 '26

That's what happened when my mom passed several years ago. We were still in the process of telling close family/friends when one of my aunts posted her condolences on my Facebook wall. Suddenly people who we had not told yet were calling and asking what was going on (my mom had been sick for a while, so it was expected).

I would maybe understand if I was really close to this particular aunt, but of course that's not the case. We've talked maybe 5 times in the 40+ years I've been alive.

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u/Skeptical-Mystic93 May 22 '26

I found out my dad was in hospice via a Facebook post from my sister. Not a message. A post. I found out with everyone else. I didn't have the best relationship with my family, even back then. But damn...that kind of helped me see how bad it really was.

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u/GodOfDarkLaughter May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

When my best friend since high school died a guy our friend group casually knew found out before anyone else somehow and something just snapped in him. He just started calling every person he could think of (and this guy had managed to get all my friend's numbers, somehow...). I got a call from him and was standing on my front lawn in shock as I got the call from my friend's mom and just switched without saying anything.

Like, I barely knew this dude. He hung out occasionally. But he called everyone. All our friends. My buddy's ex girlfriends. It was like he was desperate to break the news to as many people as possible. People kept asking him why he was the person calling and he just kept doing it. Then folk started calling others so they could get to them before this guy did.

Obviously a lot of people were furious with him and I sort of lost track of the guy. He wasn't at the funeral. I do believe the only reason he didn't get his shit kicked in was because he was smart enough to not call his family.

Steve, if you read this...the fuck is wrong with you, man?

I've noticed there's always someone around when someone dies who almost seems excited by it. I sort of get it, as fucked as it is. It's a big intense important moment and some folk are drawn to that. I call them grief vultures.

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u/lightheavydark May 24 '26

That's fucked up.

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u/SoupWithForks May 22 '26

I knew someone who was jumped for that, kid was just twisted in the head

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u/[deleted] Jul 30 '25

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u/NovelIntrepid May 22 '26

I found out my cousin died because my friend’s husband was a volunteer fireman and she heard the emergency call go out for her over the radio. She called and asked if I knew what was going on and no one in our family had any idea yet.

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u/Climate_Automatic May 22 '26

Like, what the fuck, how the hell would you know‽

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u/magneticeverything May 22 '26

I don’t even live in a small town, just a nosy family. When my grandma on my mom’s side died I was at the airport flying back home from a vacation and my parents thought it’d be best to tell me in person. Unfortunately they didn’t consider that they told a bunch of my family on my other side. So just as the plane started to taxi I got a text from one of my aunts telling me how sorry she was about my grandma. I was pretty devastated that that’s how I found out, since I was super close with her and had been staying with her and doing hospice care for her for several months by that point. I get why my parents thought waiting was best but I’ve always been upset I found out after a bunch of people who weren’t related or close to her.

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u/Time-to-go-home May 22 '26

I’ve got a distant cousin who’s a first responder. He found out his mom died when he responded to a call and recognized her address.

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u/melvinmoneybags May 22 '26

The fire chief in town responded to his 18 yo daughter’s car wreck. As soon as other first responders showed up he was pulled off the scene.

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u/TRR462 May 22 '26

That’s almost the worst way imaginable to find out about your own child’s death. So sad. 😭

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u/femme-nymph May 21 '26

I found out my Nana died through a Facebook post from a cousin . We were close and nobody bothered to let me know.

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u/ShortRasp May 22 '26

I did something similar to this when I was in my 20s. I was at a 4th of July party during the day with some college friends when one of the girls asked me if I knew insert name had died. The girl at the party had seen it on FB. This recently passed away friend was one of my best friends and part of a close best friend circle of like 7 or 8 of us.

I did not know and assumed that my other best friends already knew so I made a post about her. And I immediately got texts and calls asking me wtf. I was the first of our friend group to know... I had the displeasure of calling or texting 6 of my best friends that our best friend had passed away.

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u/yagirlbmoney May 22 '26

This happened to my dad, twice in the same week. 

2 different cousins died. The one, some busy body lady we knew decided to announce it before family knew. The other we found out through his sister's post. Turns out my dad's brother was supposed to call to tell him, he never did. 

It's a really shocking and hurtful way to find out. 

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u/spamgoddess May 22 '26

When my grandpa died, my grandma didn’t think about making sure all the family knew before she posted about it on Facebook.

So anyway, my sister found out our grandpa died because of grandma’s Facebook post.

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u/PrestigiousAd811 May 22 '26

This exactly happened to me when I was 14. My whole family made a pact to not tell me that my grandpa passed away, and the cousin ruined that by their post. I thought it was a sick joke until everyone was ignoring my calls except for one family member. Funny enough, it turns out that my WHOLE family was at my grandpa's house when my aunt answered my call! The way all the chatter in the background disipated while I'm trying to put pieces together was horrible. I don't wish that on anyone. I was upset and felt so betrayed.. she screamed at everyone there while I was on the phone with her. She thought that I was aware and tore everyone a new one for my sake. What a great start to spring break ):

As of tomorrow I'll be 23, but damn it does still hurt to think about. Edit: spelling

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u/sundaze814 May 22 '26

Same thing happened to me. But I was very close to my nana. I just happened to be on vacation and my parents didn’t want to call me and ruin it.

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u/OkStandard6120 May 22 '26

I have lived in fear for a long time that if one of my grandparents died or something happened to my parents or my dogs while I was away, my parents wouldn't tell me because they don't want to ruin my trip. Luckily when my grandma passed away I was there. I'm still always suspicious if I don't hear from my mom for a few days while I'm away. Boomers smh...

Sorry for your loss ❤️‍🩹

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u/The_Kaizz May 22 '26

My friend found out his brother died because his family randomly showed up buying groceries when he worked at Kroger. They just casually forgot to mention it to him, and he wondered why his mom was in town without saying anything.

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u/smokefan4000 May 22 '26

Similar (or opposite?) thing happened to me recently when my mom asked me if I'd heard that my cousin's baby had born, and nobody had told me she was having a baby in the first place

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u/MediumMud1354 May 22 '26

I found out that my grandma died (she had terrible dementia and I was the last grandchild’s name she had remember) through a Snapchat. My cousin who was not even close to our grandma messaged me “grandma’s gone.” I will never forgive her for that, I didn’t even invite her to my wedding. She had no right to tell me, it should have been my dad.

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u/tomorrows_angel May 22 '26

I found out my grandmother died from an aunt posting on fb. She had posted within minutes of it happening. My parents were there at the hospital and hadn’t yet informed us because they were too upset.

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u/SheepPup May 22 '26

One of my cousins found out her *mom* died on Facebook because my grandma found out and IMMEDIATELY posted about it. We all collectively decided that grandma was the last one to get called about things like this after that.

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u/Separate_Fix_240 May 21 '26

Imagine getting notified your family member died through an ESPN notification? lol RIP tho

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u/ShortRasp May 21 '26

Iirc, Aaron Rodgers and his family don't talk to each other. So I could see this happen to them.

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u/CheapEbb2083 May 21 '26

smart family

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u/ShepPawnch May 22 '26

This happened way before all the crazy shit he said, they’re not great people.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '26

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u/PurbulentTriest May 22 '26

How is he shitty for people gossiping about him?

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u/emryldmyst May 21 '26

Wait what

Did he really die????

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u/ShortRasp May 21 '26

Unfortunately, yes.

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u/Axolatian_Volt May 21 '26
Comment Image

Mine

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u/ShortRasp May 21 '26

Idk why mine were backwards.

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u/amandamaniac May 21 '26

My 80 year old father has been struggling heavily with alcoholism and man this is gonna fuck him up, Kyle was his favorite.

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u/ShortRasp May 21 '26

I'm sorry to hear that.

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u/amandamaniac May 22 '26

Thank you! It’s been a rough couple years

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u/DouchecraftCarrier May 22 '26

I'm nowhere near 80 but when I was still drinking very heavily I realized NASCAR had really just become an excuse to day-drink on a Sunday. I can recall on one hand how many races I actually was awake for the end of.

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u/mwmike11 May 22 '26

Well, in Google News’ defense…he will, in fact, miss the Coca-Cola 600

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u/ShortRasp May 22 '26

And the Coca Cola 600 will miss him.

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u/GlassCharacter179 May 21 '26

Holy fucking what? THIS is how I find out Kyle Busch died?

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u/Suspicious-Bowl4444 May 21 '26

Spoilers am I right? I haven’t even watched the news yet and they’re already spoiling it!

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u/ShortRasp May 21 '26

I DID use the spoiler alert flair...

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u/gsxrus2014 May 21 '26

Bro same!

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u/ShortRasp May 22 '26

I'm sorry. Did use the spoiler flair though!

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u/SausageRoll61 May 21 '26

I found out on the Norm MacDonald subreddit lol

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u/Z0bie May 21 '26

Wait until you find out Norm MacDonald is dead...

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u/username28531 May 21 '26

I didn't even know he was sick...

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u/azsnaz May 22 '26

I hope he comes to my town soon

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u/lod254 May 22 '26

He won't be at the Coca Cola 600.

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u/penihilist May 22 '26

Reminds me of that tragedy…

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u/Mistghost May 22 '26

Well, he hasn't been for a while...

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u/Ok_Vermicelli_6359 May 22 '26

Meh, I'll wait for a post from the man himself to report that BS!

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u/[deleted] May 22 '26

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u/ShortRasp May 22 '26

That'd be a given considering who it is.

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u/nick91884 May 21 '26

im guessing "I didnt even know he was sick" or some variation. I love norm but that sub is just rerunning the same jokes over and over.

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u/Gourdsmith May 22 '26

Well he ain't telling new ones

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u/TheG-What May 22 '26

I’d like to think Norm would like this.

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u/xWroth May 21 '26
Comment Image

The actual message I sent my dad when he told me

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u/bwoah07_gp2 May 22 '26

And look what he said last week about winning Dover:

"Because you never know when the last one is" https://x.com/NASCARONFOX/status/2055431866476622073?s=20

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u/[deleted] May 22 '26

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u/MoreInflation6875 May 22 '26

Said something about it started out as severe sinus infection and change is pressure from g force had something to do with it not 100% sure

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u/leajaycro May 22 '26

Probably something like a stroke or heart attack. These often get categorized as an illness or brief illness in the media before a cause of death is released.

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u/purpleplatapi May 22 '26

The articles I read made it sound respiratory. Could be COVID or the flu.

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u/WHOA_27_23 May 22 '26

I'm sure the NASCAR fan demographic is going to act completely rational about it if he died of covid

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u/YeaOkPal May 22 '26

A lot of reports I've seen said it was double pneumonia.

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u/Embarrassed_Whole585 May 22 '26

Not sure but I had that as a kid and died twice in the hospital, horrible way to go. :(

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u/Dannyboy1024 May 22 '26

Hasn't really been released yet, just speculation. He was in the driving simulator yesterday, passed out and was hospitalized per the AP, died today.

He had been dealing with what seemed to be a sinus infection for a couple weeks. Potentially related.

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u/The_chosen_turtle May 22 '26

I just found out like this. Wtffff

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u/Shubamz May 22 '26

Sorry. You should see the reddit notification about him only going to the hospital when you get this reply notification /s

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u/snootnoots May 22 '26

Yeah normally it’d be a Destiel meme.

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u/DubbleTheFall May 22 '26

Here i am 3 hours later

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u/Less-Key May 22 '26

I was about to have my first live TV interview for MSNBC. I received a call from a local number and answered, and it was my cousin asking me if I had heard my grandmother had died earlier that morning. I had not.

I quickly hung up with him and then called my parents. They told me they didn't want to throw me off ahead of my big TV debut. The interview was canceled a few minutes later LOL.

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u/anothergaytato May 22 '26

I was out with coworkers and I saw it on the news just like this too. I was so confused as to why his death was announced first and then that he was rushed to the hospital moments later.

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u/ShortRasp May 22 '26

Leave it to Google for me to have to fact check this by googling it...

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u/LeeMcNasty May 21 '26

Why do you assume his family didn’t know first and received the same buggy notifications?

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u/Sethtaros May 22 '26

Was the body text a "what if" scenario or were you actually related?

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u/ApolloGR3 May 22 '26

Also got that Google notification. Weird.

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u/minnick27 May 21 '26

When I was a teenager I was watching the 6am news. They cut to a story in Franklinville and I said to myself “aunt bea lives in Franklinville.” Then they said a volunteer firefighter and I said, “uncle Jack is a volunteer firefighter.” Then they showed a car and I said, “that looks like Uncle Jacks car.” Then they said “John XXXX” and I said, “thank go…holy shit uncle Jacks real name is John!” I ran into my mom’s room and she said they called her last night, but she didn’t want to wake me. Hell of a way to find out. Ihad a rough day and when I get home I ask if there’s funeral plans so I could get a uniform (I was also a volunteer firefighter) and she said not yet as they were trying to plan around Uncle Franks funeral. And that’s how I found out my great uncle passed away.

Bonus fun story: one morning my mom bursts into my room yelling, “BJ died!” I jump up asking what happened as BJ was a neighbor and a good friend. She says, “she walked into the bathroom, walked out and dropped dead.” It took a second since I hadn’t been fully awake yet, but then I remembered her boyfriend’s dog was also named BJ. Mom hasn’t been allowed to tell me about people dying since then.

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