My friends and I met toward the end of 2024. From then until August of this year, everything was going well; we would play together, and although we had our occasional disagreements, I believe it was a lovely friendship. However, in August, I fell ill and became more occupied with schoolwork, which meant I had less time to spend with them. One of the girls in the group started spending her time with another friend instead. At first, it didn’t bother me—I’m not a possessive person, or at least I don’t consider myself to be—but since August, this friend has stopped spending time with us altogether, choosing to be with her other group instead. I tried to encourage her to "choose us" again by suggesting we play or do activities together; it worked for a few days, but things have gone back to how they were—or perhaps even worse—because now she ignores the messages I send asking her to play.

I’m writing all of this because I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know whether or not I should leave the group. I consider these girls my sisters, and it would be very painful to leave them, but it also hurts to constantly see how much better they get along without me.

If I leave, I’ll lose both friends, as the two girls in this trio are sisters. I know that talking it over is the best approach—and I’ve tried that—but she told me she still cares about me, we only spend a little bit of time together after talking it.

If anyone could offer some guidance, I would truly appreciate it.

Ive been part of a 5 person friend group for over 10 years. We all went to college together and I cared a lot about this friend group but over the years things started to wear on me.

The group began to revolve completely around one of the girls to the point where most of the conversations were all about her and her life drama. Every day there would be countless texts to read through that were mostly about her life drama. The crazy part is there are countless separate group chats about this same girl and them talking shit about her and judging her choices but around her they would enable the conversations to revolve around her.

I ended up moving out of state a couple years ago. It became extra frustrating because no one would bother checking on me or seem to care when Id be coming to town to visit, but would continue their usual conversations over the one girl. I mentioned coming to town and two of the girls completely ignored that text and changed the subject. I ended up coming to town and none of them tried to see me, which I wasn’t really upset about because it was not a lot of notice. I was simply upset for not even being acknowledged (not unusual in this group). I let them know I was upset about this and that I felt it was rude. I said something like “helloooo do I even exist!?” I didn’t insult or text in caps or anything like that. The two girls apologized to me, I accepted and was truly ready to move on. Well after their apologies they started a separate group chat without me and mostly have not spoken to me since. This was about 4 months ago now. One of the girls tried to act neutral and has reached out here and there but made sure to tell me that I “started a screaming match” and made things awkward and uncomfortable for everyone. AITAH for calling them out directly? Also want to mention that I have no interest in being friends with these girls at this point but curious about other’s perception on this situation.

If anyone has any advice I’d appreciate it a lot. I miss him so much. I feel like I made the wrong decision. I’m so sad.

Him and I started off romantically, we were both at a very low point of our lives. Eventually we realised it may have been toxic (ish) so we stopped. But we remained friends.

He was a great friend, but some part of me was still stuck in our past. I couldn’t leave it behind. Even though I wasn’t hung up on him, I knew we weren’t good together. But talking to him kept me stuck in that low place. And maybe a part of me was hung up on him idk.

Yesterday he told me he had started talking to someone new, romantically. I was genuinely really happy for him. A couple hours later, I texted him and let him know that this was maybe my sign to cut things off.

Even though I didn’t want him back, my brain had a difficult time coping with the fact that the future I had imagined with him was just not going to happen. And that affected me a lot. It was my main reason.

Him and I both didn’t have many friends. Like we were basically each other’s only friend. I hate that I had to leave him alone and I hate that I’m alone and I miss my friend so so so much.

A lot of the things I see keep reminding me of him and I just absolutely lose it and start bawling. I can’t do anything without remembering him and my heart hurts. I miss my friend and I can’t help but feel like I made the wrong decision, but at the same time, I was still hurting when I was in the friendship.

I don’t know how to cope

She was so ahead of her time. She was so naturally funny and sweet and so smart. She would treat u with the most consideration in the world. Everything u said she would try to understand and make you feel heard. And me in middle school, I was as selfish as everyone else so I never fully appreciated her. She was this flower amongst all of us and just too pure for this world. I wish I was there for her and I wonder where she is now. I’ve grown up a bit now and still look up to her.

My online best friend gradually started getting busy, and then I began getting left on delivered for days. When it first happened, I even messaged her other friend to ask if she was okay or if I'd done something wrong. She told me my friend sometimes disappears for a while, so I accepted it. But she came back and disappeared again.

For around 4–5 months, I was texting her EVERY DAY, while she only texted me twice. The worst part was seeing her change her PFP, post stories and notes, and be active while my messages sat there. I kept wondering if I'd done something wrong. I still don't know.

I'm someone who wants to fix things with the people I love. I care deeply about my friends, and she left when I needed her the most. I felt so lonely. Eventually, another friend told me she'd experienced the same thing with her and suggested I block her. I did, a week before my birthday, thinking that if she genuinely cared, she'd find some way to contact me or at least wish me.

Nothing happened.

It's been five months since I blocked her. I checked her profile from my spam account, and she seemed happy, like she'd moved on without a second thought. Maybe she really has forgotten me. I feel stupid for waiting and texting every day for months, but the truth is, I still miss her so much. I still love her so much.

Sometimes I want to text her one last time and ask why she let our friendship fall apart. Did I do something? Did she stop caring? Why couldn't she just tell me instead of disappearing? But I don't even know how I'd start that conversation after all this time. It would be so awkward.

I miss the little things, like texting her every other day and asking how her day went. I keep wondering if she even remembers me anymore.

I'm genuinely torn between wanting answers and being scared of getting ignored all over again.

Should I text her one last time, or should I leave things as they are?

I'm attaching part of a video showing my messages/reels being left on delivered and seen, for context.

Idk. I need to bitch and I want somebody to listen. Anybody

I’m in my feels right now cause I’m listening to merry Christmas please don’t call and saw a post on TikTok that was like “when the person I’m no longer in contact with messages me” and it made me sad. Sorry I’m rambling. I need to ramble

Okay context whatever. Like 6 months ago near the end of May, a friend I thought was close with (17f) said she didn’t want to make comics with me anymore (19f) and it was really rough for me. These comics were basically like a roleplay thing we’d do with our ocs, not that important for the story, but they were important to me.

We had a conversation I don’t entirely recall, but she said that it was a final decision and that we could still be friends. I deleted the conversation soon after because I tend to read things like that over and over, analyzing every word I said to see what I could’ve said better then regret everything. This will come up again later.

We didn’t talk for a month, a mix of her being busy with school and me wanting to give her space. For like a week I was the most depressed I’ve been in a while. Like it was bad. All I would do was lay in bed, get food, and use the bathroom. I wouldn’t draw, I wouldn’t talk to anyone, it felt like I could barely walk.

That last part scared me the most, because it felt like my legs were made of jelly. I needed to lean on the walls to really get anywhere, and even if I did move it was slow.

I think I knew the friendship was over, hence the dramatic reaction, I was just waiting for that final conversation I guess, but I wanted to try one last time. There was a couple of “last time”s, but this was the first one.

For anybody who doesn’t know, there’s this event in July called Artfight, where you gift somebody art of their character and somebody might gift you art of yours. I was already planning on starting for the first time that year, and I wanted to reach out that way so I did.

I started off with a drawing of an oc unrelated to our comics, cause they were the last thing I wanted to think about. I guess I got sensitive over them cause I was attached idk. There was no dramatic conversation by this point, she just commented “thank you, fajitas :)” something like that and I said “yw 😛”. 😛 was only an emoji I started using cause she would send me this one 👅and I thought it was funny to match with another one. I still use it all the time, I don’t know if it’s something I should let go of.

Anyway, she responded a bit later with a drawing of my character Dean, from the comics. I’m using real names idgaf if she finds this somehow. Anyway, I hated it. There wasn’t anything objectively bad about it, it was a cute drawing, I just hated that SHE drew her. I hated that she drew a character that was so close to me when she didn’t want her anymore and it makes me cry thinking about that stupid drawing. I’ve been crying writing this whole stupid thing. This is stupid.

I said thank you, and eventually responded with two more drawings. The final one is what matters. I added a message like “I’m sending this to let you know I’m still here for you as your friend, okay I’m gonna dip for 8 years now bye 😛” and awhile later she sent me a dm. She told me that she appreciated that I wanted to be there for her, but she didn’t think that this was going to work out, that she hoped I would find friends that would appreciate me the way I wanted, and that she hopes the best for me.

I didn’t respond, because I was scared. I didn’t want to look like some freak stalker that harasses their ex friend over petty bullshit so I did what I thought I had to do. I started blocking her everywhere cause I was like ok, she doesn’t want to contact me. This is what you do when you don’t want to contact people anymore. This is what I’ve been through before. It’s normal

Maybe should’ve mentioned this before but the website we used to draw together was called whiteboard fox, and I was going to block her on there until I realized she wrote something.

She was upset that I was blocking her and deleting all our old boards.

Literally. What the fuck.

So we start talking.

I tell her that I thought she stopped checking everything, then she tells me she thinks about our ocs all the time and checks the boards every day. ????? Like what is your issue what???? Sorry, I’m being mean. I start getting sassy when I’m retelling this cause I get sad.

Anyway, we have this whole dramatic talk, I might post screenshots in the comments if I feel like it, but she tells me talking to me stressed her out because she had to hide me from her mom. Which was like ok (but then she’s posting about her new online friends she draws homestuck shit with months later which WRECKED me like a fuckinh lot but whatever I’m over it I’m chill I’m #nonchalant cause I have to be cause if I’m not I’ll die.)

And I think ok. That’s it. It’s over. But then we end up talking again on that board. I don’t remember what that second conversation was about honestly, I’ve been trying to forget everything and I think it’s working. I’m really fighting the urge to go check what we said to tell you the ™Void.

The third conversation was last month I think. I wrote a message I thought she couldn’t see cause I wanted to talk with her about it but I didn’t actually want to cause I was afraid she would get mad. She never did, maybe a little bit at the end but whatever. I was basically like “I’m still not over this and I feel like my emotions keep rising then dropping blah blah blah” it was a whole bunch of crap.

I was planning on deleting everything I said in the morning. And keep in mind it was probably like 2 months since we last said anything to each other. The next morning I was fucking horrified to check that she fucking responded. She saw all the stupid shit she was never meant to. I wanted to die. Well I wanted to die more than I already did.

She talked about how she wasn’t over this either, as embarrassing as that was for her to admit. That she wasn’t wondering if this was a mistake, that she had dreams about us talking again. I dreamt of that too. A lot. So much. But I’m like nonchalant or whatever I don’t give a fuck I think you’re the one that gives a fuck.

She was being so supportive. And that made me so. Fucking. Angry.

Why can’t you just be mad at me

Why can’t you just block me

Why can’t you just make me hate you so I can stop thinking about this stupid shit and move on with my life

I wanna hate your guts so bad but I can’t.

I then began to word vomit via my hands about all the stuff I hated because it all reminded me of her. I hated Deltarune. I hated Malcolm Todd. I hated Dean.

I hated TikTok because I would see a funny video that reminded me of her and I would wish I could send it to her

I hated music because everything would either remind me of our characters or her

I hated trying to do anything with my oc because it would just remind me that she wasn’t there anymore. That something was so horrifically wrong with me that she needed to go find someone else. That I’m the biggest bitch in the world and that I couldn’t realize she didn’t like being my friend anymore quick enough to fix whatever was wrong with me.

I hate her guts. I love her. I want her to come back. I want her to tell me that she was wrong and everything’s okay now and that we can be friends again.

I need to go to therapy. I was supposed to make an appointment the other day but I got scared

Whatever.

2 weeks ago I decided to delete the whiteboard we kept talking on so we would just stop. I was checking it obsessively, waiting for her to say something. Anything. She admitted at one point that she did the same thing, but I think I did it for longer.

She told me to let go of the idea that she’d ever come back because she wouldn’t. I told her I would, it was just hard right now when she kept coming back.

The very last thing I said was “whatever it’s worth now, I loved you as much as a friend could.”

She saw it, then I blocked her and reversed the deletion thing on the whiteboard because I’m a hoarder or something and need to keep it with me. I need to keep our old comics. I need to keep our last words. I need to keep something from her.

I hate all this stupid shit I just wish we could be friends. I’m being selfish right now I know I just need to get these words out my head. I miss you Funky, and I hate seeing the word funky cause it just reminds me of you and your stupid username. This is all so stupid. I’m the nonest chalanest person you’ll ever meet. Bye

Friendships aren’t supposed to come and go, but they often do. Friendships, like any relationship, can drift apart. It stinks when that happens.

Doesn’t matter if I knew you 50 years ago, 20 years ago or 2 years ago… I still hold on to the great memories.

As I’ve gotten old, I’ve become a bit of a recluse or hermit, if you will. When I was young, my phone was always ringing with a friend calling to see what I’m up to or what the plan for the weekend was. Those were some great times!

Friendships nowadays are much harder. Everyone is caught up in living life, doing the “family thing”, or they might even be a hermit, like me. I’ve learned to be completely content in my own company. I miss some of those lost friendships though.

Thinking wayyy back, being Facebook friends with people I knew 40-50 years ago, I wasn’t necessarily part of the “in” crowd. I wanted to be. Let me rephrase that, I THOUGHT I wanted to be part of that crowd. Now that I look back, I’m glad I wasn’t. To fit in would’ve been a lot of pressure. I put a lot of pressure on myself anyway and didn’t need more of it.

Suffice it to say, I welcome friendships old and new but I’ll be just as happy all by myself!!! 🥰

You just stop talking as much, life gets busy, and one day you realize you haven’t spoken in months.

And the weirdest part? You can still love that person and genuinely wish them well, but somehow the friendship doesn’t feel the same anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if we’re too quick to think every friendship that ends has to have a villain. Maybe some people really are just meant to be part of a certain chapter of your life.

But then again, some friendships probably could’ve survived if both people had tried a little harder.

Have you ever lost a friendship without there being an actual falling-out?

I miss my childhood friends😭

We’ve known each other for so long. From friends to lovers back to friends again. The love I feel for you is deeper than ever, and you told me it was the same for you.

I was there for you when you started seeing someone new. Helped you pack to move to her city. Reassured you that you’re capable of making it work. Kept my promises to visit as often as I could. You said you were afraid of hurting me and losing me again, the way you did when we dated. I laughed and said no, you’re better to me now than you ever were as a partner! I was so confident in us. You always made the space and time to connect, to show up and understand.

I shared my fears. How one by one my friends drifted off into romantic relationships and I have found myself alone with unanswered texts, cancelled plans, and silence where there used to joy and camaraderie. Or how friends disappear, their personalities absorbed into a couple unit, becoming unrecognizable to me. You made the effort to be the exception. You fought for our friendship on its own grounds.

I don’t know what happened. What unspoken thing happened behind the scenes, what agreements you made. But this last visit was undeniably different. I used to leave content and renewed. This time I sobbed most of the way back to our hometown. I felt like an unwelcome guest, an intrusion. All the niceties were said but I could feel you, tense and avoiding even half a minute alone with me. Ignoring my bids for conversation, our usual banter and jokes stifled by propriety. That was never your style. You were tiptoeing around your partner, apprehensive of her every mood and need. I couldn’t even ask “how have you been?” the simplest of check ins. So we passed the time together but we weren’t really together at all. You were subdued and withdrawn and acted scared of me, or scared to be next to me. How incredibly lonely it was to be beside you yet unable to connect.

We kept up the superficialities, the safe pleasantries. You text as though all is normal still. I know something has ended. Some quiet decision that has shut me out from your inner world. You won’t even acknowledge it, so I will mourn it alone. Another friend fading away. Acting like nothing has changed but the silence grows and lengthens and consumes what we used to have. I used to want to confront, to ask questions, to fight for it. But I’m old enough now to know how that goes.

I met a girl at work about a year ago. We became really close and she essentially became my only friend I would talk to. She dated and broke up with 2 guys during this time and I didn’t really care until she started dating the second guy when I started getting a little jealous. I was starting to catch feelings even though I didn’t want to. I quit that job about a month ago now and I assumed I would lose feelings as I wouldn’t be spending 8 hours together with her every day. I still texted her every day until like 4 days ago. I just ghosted her out of nowhere and replied to her after 3 days. I feel like an asshole. I know she would never see me as more than a friend and I don’t think I can see her as a friend. It sucks. Like a lot. I think about her all the time and everything reminds me of her. But I’m hoping this is for the best. Overall sucky situation.

I had this dear friend who I’ve known online for a couple of years now. this individual very consistently would be online in Roblox, or at the very least would change their avatar often. I got their phone number and we enjoyed talking for about a couple week, then about a month ago everything just… stopped. I don’t mean that they wanted to get away from me online. I mean that after that point about a month ago they hav been changing their Roblox avatar which is something they did just about every other day, and they changed their description on Roblox from “Lore accurate (name)” to “To be remembered“. Given recent events in that part of Chile, I have been really worried for their safety. I know nobody here can give me an answer. but does anyone have advice for staying positive ab the situation? Or how to move on since I loved this person, sincerely, but I am beginning to think they may be gone. it would be nice to hear how others would recommend handling this, because it would be nice if I wasn’t thinking about him and worrying so much when likely he’s already gone for good.

I don’t really know where else to talk about this, but I’ve been carrying a lot of sadness lately and just need to get it off my chest.

I recently turned 30, and one of the hardest things I’ve been dealing with is grieving friendships with people who are still alive. People I once considered family, people I genuinely thought would be in my life forever.

Throughout my twenties, I had so many friends. I was constantly going out, drinking, partying, and surrounding myself with people. But looking back, I was also going through some of the worst periods of my life. I made horrible decisions, put myself in situations I shouldn’t have, and honestly, I wasn’t always a good person or a good friend. And that’s probably the hardest part to admit. A lot of these friendships didn’t just end because we grew apart. Some of them ended because of me. Because of my behaviour, my decisions, and the person I was at the time.
I carry so much guilt about that.

Sometimes I find myself thinking about old memories, inside jokes, random conversations, and all the little things I took for granted. I wish I could go back and handle things differently. I wish I had been more mature, more understanding, and more appreciative of the people I had.
I’ve changed a lot since then. I stopped drinking and partying, started focusing on my career, my relationship, my mental health, and just becoming a better version of myself. I’m genuinely proud of how far I’ve come, but there’s something incredibly bittersweet about becoming someone you’re finally proud of and realizing you’ve lost so many people along the way.

I know becoming a better person doesn’t undo the hurt I may have caused. And I know that just because I’ve changed doesn’t mean anyone owes me another chance.
But God, I miss having friends.

I have a wonderful boyfriend and a cat I adore, and I’ve learned to appreciate my own company. But romantic love doesn’t replace platonic love. I miss having girlfriends. I miss having people to spontaneously grab dinner with, go shopping with, have movie nights with, or just sit around talking about absolutely nothing. And trying to make friends in Toronto at 30 feels almost impossible.

Everyone seems to already have their established circles, their routines, and their own lives. Even when I meet someone I click with, turning that initial connection into a genuine friendship feels so difficult. And I’ll admit that sometimes I’m part of the problem. I crave connection, but when opportunities to socialize come up, I sometimes retreat into the comfort of staying home.
It’s such a frustrating cycle. I want friends, but I feel exhausted by the process of trying to make them.
I don’t even want some huge social circle anymore. I just want a few genuine friendships. People I can laugh with, be vulnerable with, and build memories with. Friendships that aren’t dependent on drinking, partying, or constantly going out.

I think what hurts the most is that I’m finally becoming the person I wish I had been years ago, but the people I wish could see that growth aren’t around anymore.
And sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever find friendships that feel as natural and comfortable as the ones I lost.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe reassurance that I’m not the only person who feels this way. Maybe advice from people who have had to rebuild their social lives after losing friends because of their own mistakes.
I just really miss having my people. And I wish I had appreciated them more when I did.

My friends and I met toward the end of 2024. From then until August of this year, everything was going well; we would play together, and although we had our occasional disagreements, I believe it was a lovely friendship. However, in August, I fell ill and became more occupied with schoolwork, which meant I had less time to spend with them. One of the girls in the group started spending her time with another friend instead. At first, it didn’t bother me—I’m not a possessive person, or at least I don’t consider myself to be—but since August, this friend has stopped spending time with us altogether, choosing to be with her other group instead. I tried to encourage her to "choose us" again by suggesting we play or do activities together; it worked for a few days, but things have gone back to how they were—or perhaps even worse—because now she ignores the messages I send asking her to play.

I’m writing all of this because I’m not sure what to do. I don’t know whether or not I should leave the group. I consider these girls my sisters, and it would be very painful to leave them, but it also hurts to constantly see how much better they get along without me.

If I leave, I’ll lose both friends, as the two girls in this trio are sisters. I know that talking it over is the best approach—and I’ve tried that—but she told me she still cares about me, we only spend a little bit of time together after talking it.

If anyone could offer some guidance, I would truly appreciate it.

My ex-girlfriend and I got into a dispute, and I will probably never speak to her again. All I want to do is reach out, try to clear the air, and end on good terms. Our relationship was rocky and codependent, but the love we had for each other was very much real. I cherish this girl with my entire heart and would do anything to have just one more conversation with her.

Two weeks ago, I went to her apartment to hang out, brought her a bottle of wine, made her dinner, and we spent five great hours together. It ended with me giving her a kiss on the cheek and telling her I love her, and she said it back. I ultimately invited her to a party at my buddy's house, got her a nice bottle of vodka, and we were having a great time. Then things went south, and she wanted nothing to do with me.

I spiralled emotionally and blew up her phone. I never said anything disgusting, vulgar, or threatening—it was simply me trying to figure out what happened. I was stupid and said I got an Uber to her apartment to speak in person because I was so emotionally exhausted and just wanted to talk to her. In the end, I didn't go. The next day, I went to get my stuff from her apartment with my roommate. I told her beforehand that I was coming; she said if I came, she would call the cops. She ultimately did, the cops got me my stuff, and the issue was resolved.

I resigned from my job this week and am heading back home to finish my studies and live for myself. But I just can’t help wanting to know what went wrong and what I could have done better. It hurts to think that someone I lived with for over 8 months—someone with whom I shared such good moments, memories, and love—is just going to be in my past, and that I will probably never be able to speak to her again. All I want is to give her one last hug, tell her I’m proud of her, and that I love her.

I just don’t understand any of this. Please offer me some guidance.

I blocked out names or identifying information just in case.

Basically, we've been friends for over 10 years now. She got her first serious boyfriend about a year and a half ago and the amount of contact she had with anyone other than him decreased massively, but we were still texting somewhat regularly and having video calls every now and then. Our last time seeing her in person was in April when we went out to dinner and everything seemed good.

We had a conversation in May where we discussed meeting up with her and her boyfriend when we all came back to our hometown for the summer which she seemed enthusiastic about and told us that she was free whenever and to let her know when we wanted to meet.

Since that conversation she's started ghosting us completely and we don't know why. We tried contacting her in the group chat to arrange the meetup but she never responded despite reading our messages.

The images attached are messages that I've sent her privately since then. She's read them but not responded to those either. I keep sending her messages every now and then in the hopes that she'll respond but she hasn't yet and it's now been nearly 6 months since any of us spoke to her.

It's just all so confusing since there doesn't seem to be any reason any of us can pinpoint as to why she'd suddenly cut us off completely like this. No argument or disagreement or even a conversation that could explain it. She just suddenly stopped wanting anything to do with us. At first we all thought something must have happened to her or maybe she was busy or had personal issues going on, but based on her social media and other online activity, nothing seems to have happened. We tried messaging her to check up on her, but no response.

After almost 6 months now, we're all pretty sure that she just doesn't want to be friends anymore for some reason, so we're trying to mostly leave her alone, but it's just really frustrating. I just want some kind of response or explanation from her. Something to explain how she can just throw away over 10 years of friendship for seemingly no reason. If she told us why, then we could try to understand and either fix it or move on and go our separate ways, but at the moment we're all just stuck in a limbo waiting to hear from her to get an answer of some kind.