Fren Mindo here. This knitted doughnut is very pretty but I have so many other beds, and she put it on my OTTOMAN where I like to sit. Den she made me pose in it like a kinnergartener. I do look handsome

She will prolly move it if I dont sit in it. She put a treat in it to get me to pose.
What should I do ?

I Benoit have long identified GRABBITY as my worstest enemy and Endeavour to deffeet it by frowing things off tables and such as is cat law. But today, I had a Stroak of Jeenius when I came to realize I cud fite grabbity by sending me UP and not ownly by sending other fings DOWN.

Frens, you shud do this thing too.

Benoit Blanc T Cat, T stands for The

Mai meowmy mooved in wif a BOY an he wont let me sleeps wif dem cuz ov someting called OWLERGEEZ! Ai sleeps wif mai meowmy ebry naight since ai was a little baby an meowmy brawt me homez from da shelter. Meowmy sleeps wif me in our bed if ai criez owtside da door, but she sezs she can’t do dat ebry naight. Ai wants to do a BIG SOO! Why dis BOY hafta bee sew MEEN?? Why he sepuratez me from mai meowmy??

Hello friends! Is me Baby Kitty, the young old lady. Let me tell you my tail of woe! I was peacefully asleep on the big sleep square when the large male servant came and laid down with me. Usually this isn’t a problem. But he disturbed the blankets!! Moving me around to make the blankets suit him!!! I had them arranged perfectly to my liking!! I got up to leave to find more suitable accommodations but the door is closed!! I have now resumed my position but it is decidedly less comfortable. I’m suing for return of the blanket to its previous state, the door to remain open so I can come and go as I please, many scritches, and several hundred churu.

Pic of me in my less desirable state.

I is Nyx. Babie of da family! Meowmy wont follo mi to mi fud bole!!!

How is I suppsd ta eat if I is bi myself??!!

How do I makes meowmy follo mi??!!

IF et cuz himb pikted meez up wifowt mii purrmishun?? (cuz iz doin crimes wawkin awl ofvur himb werk bemch mezzin stuuf urp n nokkinits ober)?

Oh btw dis iz Pigeon 🐦.. Noh I CAT dats jus mie naym, Pigeon

I heered himb ondem fone gibin me durskripshun n wares himb lasded seemee n sayzin himb waz gon pursh chergez n idk if dat teh baddybads buh I hidezn... Tink I neeb pawyer idk...

Iiii scuurrrd, dares moor hoomans nao 🚓 👮‍♂️👮‍♂️

I stiwl hidezn... cam I sooo frum hidezn spawt??? Iz du nawtin rong!! Hoo no guud pawyer?

Oooh hooman gat TREATS I gattagoez NEEBZ PAWYER PWEEEZE N TANKS U

Las nite dey tuk away mai fud - I doin a starb! So mene! Den I find out it fur opurrashun. I confused an ankshus, Sir Jerry sownds mene.

Can anywun halp me eskap pokey plas?

(And can anyone please offer any thoughts, I’m m having a hard time.)

Elsie Belsie here. Meowmy brought home two new toys. They both have cat drugs in dem but I am unsure of dem. I think the round one will go at the bottom of the stairs for big crime when meowmy or pawther falls! Small one is fun but I will ignore when meowmy is around to make her feel bad. May sue because my opinion wasn't asked even though meowmy asked me come look at the lightbox.

Hai frenz. Jaspurr here, ur favrit oranj investigashun jurnulist, Churu connoisseur, an part-time viktim of hooman society.

Today I haz THREE (3) matters to repawt. Sum are serius. Sum are ekonomik. All are an OWTRAYGE. I haz mai notebuk. I haz mai brain cell. It iz currently on loan to anoder oranj cat, but we shal proceed ANYWAEY!!

1. Da Daytime Abandons

As readerz may recall, both Mamans now leave da kingdom to hunt for "hooman moneys."

Apparently, Churu costz moneys. Treetz costz moneys. Fancy din-dinz costz moneys. I do not like dis ekonomik sistem, but I acknowledge its praktikal benefits.

Da heatwaves are over, so I can once again enjoy mai favrit hobby: watchin da pigeons out da window. 🐦 One looked directly at me yesterday. Clearly, a profeshunal courtesy between jurnulists.

I still miss Maman, but she keeps her promise to come home kwikly for cuddlez. Management iz showing improvement.

H. DA CHURU CRISIS!!!!

In France, wen da governmint messes up (wich according to Other Maman, is awl da time), da Furrench peepul like to do a manif .

Mai mamans haz bean spendeen da past few weekendz coming bacc home an smellin like da weerd eye-watereen smoke, and sumtimes Other Maman brings bacc a new Substitoot Maman who espeshully smells ob da weerd smoak. Normalement I assoome dis is just moar strange hooman shenanigans and ignore it, but then! Da brane cell showed me a pawssibul konnekshun! And a horrifying revulashun.

Churu pricez mite go up.

EXCUSEZ-MOI????

As a French catto, I understand dat unhappy hoomans organize a manif. Therefore, I shal sew myself a tiny gilet jaune an march bravely to find da dis...leeder ob da hoomanz in France, cawled a purresidint.

I beleeve I speek fur AWL cat-kind wen I say ower demands inclood: affordable Churu for all, an END to treatflation, universal SECKUND brekkist, mandatory cuddlez for cats in ekonomik distress, and an investigashun into WHY hoomans haz money problems when dey could simply buy MORE Churu.

If da President refuses, I shal PURRSONALLEE deploy da Big Hork an da Big Pee Crimez directly onto his pillow.

I haz a litter box. I know how to use it. I simply reserve mai artistic freedomz.

Five. Da War on Time Itself

HOOMANS HAZ CHANGED TIME ITSELF.

Apparently, dey move da clockz around, an now I must wait ONE WHOLE EXTRA HOUR for din-dinz.

Was dere a vote? A meetin? Was da Oranj Cat Brain Cell™ consulted???

NO. Of course not.

I am a kitteh of routine. I haz an internal alarm dat goes off precisely when fud should appear. Sometimes at 3 AM, but dat iz a feature, not a bug.

Now Maman says, "Jaspurr, it iz still early."

EARLY??? MY STOMAK SAYS OTHERWISE.

Hoomans observe daylight savings. I observe Food Savings, a suspicious practice where management saves food by not feeding me immediately.

If hoomans can change time, why can't I declare it Churu o'clock whenever I am hungry? Can I abolish 3 AM an replace it wif second brekkist?

Dis leeds me 2 a fan-favurrite segmint, da Hard Kwetchuns™.

Iz it legal to change time WIFFOWT consulting da feline populashun?

Can I soo for emoshunal distress caused by DELAYED din-dinz?

Can we demand govermint subsidiez for essential Churu?

Does a gilet jaune make me look distingwished and ready for revolushun?

As awways, dis repurrter wuld liek 2 go on da rekurd an say dat I, Jaspurr, advocate for all catz affected by daytime abandons, treatflation, empty bowl syndrome, an da CRUEL punishment of daylight savings.

We must stand together! We must protekt our feeding schedulez! We must demand affordable Churu!

Until den, I shal remind mai Mamans of da correct feeding time through starez, scremz, strategic positioning, an da occasional Flump of Despair™.

An if dat fails?

Da President's pillow awaits.

Dis haz bean repurrter Jaspurr, KKMG, Europ dibishin, Purrnaliste extraordinaire 😺

HEMLO BEST BOOTIFUL FRENS

HERE IN YOOKAY IS NASHUNAL BLACK CAT DAE!

LETS PREECIATE ALL TEH VOIDS! AN VOID FRENS! WE IS TEH BESTEST!

FORM THOR CAT OB THUNDER AN PURRZIDENT OB HIMBO A-SO-SEE-A-SHUN

Fremds, I hab mamy newses fur you, but I dooz dem one-atta-tine.

Now, I still neber go out ob my room essept a little bit dowm de stairs ib da hoomans be too ammoying in mine room. Aldough I dib go into de hooman bedroom and go umder de bed and get mines furs on der quilt.

Butt! Dis not mean all de house and de garden and amythimg else I do see out de window ib not mine Terry's Story. Just becubs I no go dere, ib still mine!

So, mine hoomans do me an outrayge, by letting anubber cat come in mine garden! I a very quiet cat so I not hiss at dem, but I starestarestare so dey know I the only cowcat allouwd here!

Dis picture shoh de inmtrubber and me sittimg in where I like to watch.

Theyz not understand myz heartz beatz for Bubba'z harnessz!!!

-Kirby the orange menace

Henlo frens. I is Ferdinand, majestic void, and I wants u to see picshurs of mine brofur Taco. Himbs CTRB a few days after Crimmus last year. Himbs was my bestest cuddle buddy. I miss himbs. 🖤

Ai, Samwise, am a bery scarey vlampyre kittie! Muahahahaha!

Pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel pikkel Cody!

-Standard Issue Cody-pendent

Iz dis all da catto frens?

Good mews, furrens! Mommy came home today! Daddy did too. At furst, ai do a SHUN ob mommy. Ai TURN MAI BACK on herms. She say "oh Nandor, I miss you so much!" Ai no look at her! She bend down an pet me. Ai no look at her. She pick me up an do cuddle an say how sweet ai is. Ai do a BITE on herms hair! She say "I love you, precious kitten!". Ai do squirm to get down an ai walk away from her. She know ai am BIG MAD. But den after a while (3 seconds) ai fink she been punished enuff an ai jump up an do cuddles an purrs an let her know ai lubs her still. An she did go bisit Aunt Dolly's howse! An she saw BEARS for real in da woods! She say she want to get picktshurs an mebbe do a petpetpet but meanie daddy no let her get owt ob car.

Ai am not done wif Crimez though! Ai hab Crimez planned for tomorrow! But ai enjoy snuggles for now.

Nandor THE RELENTLESS

Ricky Bobby is the kitten I am fostering who for some reason loves the weirdest human foods… can’t get him to eat cat food but dear god does he love his muffins and beans. I

Bean video is in the comments

*the vet of the humane society where I’m fostering him from was contacted and other than diarrhea after his muffin consumption he is fine… just a weirdo

Henlo Max (5M Russian Blue) here! Mine dad is homez from “da job” and he smell like another catto and a doggo! Can I soo da catto and doggo?

Hai frems dis Pigeon egem.

R enee uf u loongfloof kitties?  I em n I gotsem dat floofyfloof beehimd. 

Welllll u evur getsem dem messee 💩... n et git awl inz ur buttfloofs??  😿 Liiike reeelee inz dare?

I memt uhhhmm oooh iz em askem fur a frem... Yap.

Soh meh frems hooman seed it n sayed ohh nozz dats reelee bads n cleemimg teh 👅 wai wuz 🤢 🤮 n hooman grabded me n takes dis buzzybuzZ idk wat buh et gotsem da poopoo owt buh mii mehjesstek buttfloof camed wiff et 😭.

Hooman sayd et wuz eeder dat er a "baff"... Neber havs a baff buh I heerd et da werstest ting ever!!  Buh dat buzzzz zz zz ting I cryd teh emtire tiiii iiii meems meh frem!! Meh frem cryd da emtire times.

Buh da 💩 💩 💩 wuz awl gawn.

Iz dis awl hoomans fawlt???   Cam I sooooo?  Er dib hooman halp cat? 

P.S. duu butt floof groe bak??

Dis mai noo baskit meoma findet fur mee. It be bery comfrabul. I lubs it.

Desmond 🐾🐾🐈‍⬛🧡🧺

Hallo eberybody!! Ai posted one foreber ago about uz taking ober Dias de Los Muertos for our frens ober da bwidge. Well seemz wez haz our own day abter all. Thank youz to fren Frank's pawrent (u/WoodwifeGreen) for wetting meow know that tomorrow, October 27th iz the Dias de Los Muertos for animals. So Ai say wez extend fings. Wez start wememberances tomorrow and go stwait thru de 1st. Dat gibs uz pwenty ob time to honor and wemember doze who haz cwossed de bwidge. Wat eberybody fink? Lub Arietty ❤️