Carrie: So you have been scaring off my co-workers Doug I work with these guys if they think I’m married to a crazy person I’m gonna get fired

Doug: Carrie they’re so boring why do you wanna hang out with them

Carrie: When I worked with LawFirm I couldn’t hang out with them cause everyone has court work now that I worked with real estate I gotta try to impress everyone

Doug: Carrie I can barely handle being around them for 12 seconds

Carrie: Doug I have to deal with your friends everyday do you know how many times I caught Danny sleeping on our couch or how about Richie complaining that Marie broke his heart or how about Spence going on and on about his mom Deacon I can handle but not everyday

Doug: At least MY friends and I know how to have fun

Carrie: After all the grief you gave me in Florida

Doug: What

Carrie: Remember when we were visiting your parents during Spring Break and I got you to stay in a hotel cause I have problems with them you said that’s a bad thing cause you have to deal with MY father everyday

Doug: Carrie he’s been around ever since he burned down his house MY parents are miles away

Carrie: MY friends hardly ever show up YOURS are here everyday I can’t believe this now I have to go apologize to everyone you freaked out

Doug: Carrie Carrie wait I DIDN’T DO IT FOR REVENGE

I rather put icing on a couch pillow than buy cake just to destroy it and then still have to bake it. At least the pillow leads to a hilarious story.

In the episode where Deacon and Kelly buy a vacation home we find out they got the money from Kelly's botched boob job.

But before that Doug and Carrie go over how much they spend on those two. Carrie says she's always paying for Kelly's magazines and gum, that they constantly cover meals and even paid for the magic show. Deacon and Kelly were supposed to get dessert but that never happened.

Yet Deacon and Kelly claim they're the ones always treating Doug and Carrie.

So who do you guys think are the real cheapskates here?

Arthur has got to be one of the funniest sitcom characters of all time!!🤣🤣🤣 I haven’t genuinely laughed this much because of a show in a very long time🥲. Does anyone know if any of his acting was improvised? he is so witty and so quick with his come backs, I love it! He makes me forget how annoying Doug and Carrie can be, at this point I’m hooked on the show because of him. I wonder if he [Jerry Stiller] had a similar personality to Arthur in real life.

It’s what I do…

The confluence of events necessary for Carrie to get rained on was actually pretty a little unlikely. While Doug should’ve just gone straight there, he also had some bad luck.

It’s established that he’s supposed to pick her up from her salon appointment at 5. He appears to have left the guys at Cooper’s in a timely fashion. He stops at Rally’s without any worry about the timing, and only gets stressed after the line moves slowly. So even accounting for his greed, and acknowledging that by the time he learned it was too thick to pour he knew he was running behind, on the front end. he had probably given himself a few minutes of grace period to get there.

Here’s all that went wrong:

1. She had a hair appointment on a weekend day. Instead of driving herself, she took the subway or had Doug drop her off to do whatever during the day and come pick her up when she was done.

2. She’s scheduled to be done at 5 PM. She appears to finish at pretty much the exact time anticipated before she started. Or possibly a little early. Seems a tad unlikely.

3. Without any kind of confirmation that he was almost there, she immediately goes outside to wait for him.

4. Seemingly unexpected flash storm.

5. The salon closes and locks up right when the clouds start opening up. No one from salon notices her out there and offers to let her stay aside until her ride comes.

6. Neither the salon storefront nor any business nearby has an awning.

Overall, he made his own bed. But he probably reasonably assumed that it would be dry all day and that a hair appointment that was supposed to end at 5 would finish at more like 5:15 than 4:50.

We've seen Doug and Carrie be absolute assholes throughout this show's nine seasons but S8, E5 is truly some of their worst work yet.

We always knew Carrie thought she was better than Holly but after learning she met a nice successful guy who wanted to marry her, it absolutely consumed her. She's always treated Holly like crap, like the episode where she got sick and Holly cooked for her even when their conditions reversed. But this just is lower than low.

As for Doug, he can't let his friends have anything. The previous episode was bad enough where he threatened to drown his coworker if he didn't invite him to his BBQ, but now he has to make someone else's party be about his own envy.

Sidenote: where does that guy sitting at the booth behind them get off asking Deacon to sign "his" menu? Since when do menus in a sports bar belong to customers?

"I'm sorry things worked out for me"

Another thing: Doug drinks from the gravy boat and puts it back.

New at Target

I like “Party Arty” and “the man from down under.”

One of my favorite repeating jokes is whenever Doug or Carrie gives an exaggerated example of what they’d rather and then say “I’d kill for that!”
Here’s a list I made

“You know Moe from The Three Stooges? I’d kill for that!”
“You know the guy that’s in front of Arby’s with the foil helmet? I’d kill for that!”
“I’d kill for a big eye right now.”

Any others yall can think of ?

S7 Ep21: honesty its so funny and should be up there with strike out

Mr. Soo: No pets. Cat get loose in Chinese restaurant, that’s hard to live down.

I never really thought about how crazy it was for the guys to drive all the way down to Memphis, TN just to try breakup a wedding. It’s almost a 17 hour drive and that’s without stopping on the way

I have watched this show so many times, but just noticed this guy standing behind the ladder staring directly into the camera

I mean Doug is not an angel either but, man. Carrie was written to be hated by the guts.

Even when Doug was acting selfish, next to her, he looked like a saint.

S3 E25: Pregnancy Pause 2