Context (Stellaris): Prophet’s Retreat is a size 25 Gaia World in Stellaris, and is considered a Holy World by the Holy Guardians/Doctrinal Enforcers Fallen Empire. A Gaia world is a world that is simply perfect for life of all kinds, and is highly coveted.

If you colonize a Holy World, the Holy Guardians will demand you stop colonizing it or else.

If you refuse to stop, they’ll declare a war of subjugation against your empire.

If you destroy a Holy World, they’ll awaken and declare war on you.

"We've picked up a signal, and ... the computer says it's *Human*"

"Don't be absurd, Humans are just an old myth used to scare younglings!"

"How it is their signal patterns are in our database then? Also ... the computer says it's been *exactly* 5000 years since they last appeared"

"Ye gods, could it be true? Every 5000 years they *come back* and .... "

"I'm afraid it might be!"

"Send the signal out immediately to everyone! Prepare for emergency jump! GET US OUT OF HERE!"

Humans have a reputation for being both the most destructive and, for lack of a better term, deranged but creative species we have ever met. Honestly it seems to be a trend with the rare few Apex Predator species we let into the Union of Worlds.

Yet humans have this odd quirk.

Most galactic faring ships are very sterile in appearance. Gray and whites or gray and black interiors. The food is often given in prepared food pouches, which while not the most pleasant looking the many space rations we offer has been rated on average 8/10 in flavor.

Yet, despite all of this, with mandatory recreation time and breaks, humans in almost every ship, regardless of class, have noted a drastic and quick decline in mental health and productivity.

Of course in confusion we searched for answers and in that search we noticed this trend seems to be missing in human dominated ships. At first we simply thought it was due to their closeness to their own species, but this could not be it, as the few ships with a noticeable amount of human crew still suffering from their depressive episodes.

When we went to see what else it could be, even so far inviting humans to review each and every class of ship, it took them one glance to identify the problem.

Plants.

Humans, apparently, do not do well without plants visible to them for a prolonged period of time. Even fake ones seem to make them feel better just seeing it.

When the inspector finished up, he looked at the many engineers and psychologists and said with a straight face: “They need to touch grass.”

A:"Your planet is surrounded, your communications are cut, you're under our total surveillance. You will submit or face destruction"

H:(Detonates Kessler Bomb)

A:‽

H:"Now we are non of those things"

But not Space Bankers, Space Cheesemakers, Space Watchmakers, or Space Nestle.

No, Humans are Space Swiss Mercenaries.

We even got an Ailen Pope to hire only Us on a full time basis.

Socializing was not a foreign concept to the wider galaxy. It came with being a civilized species afterall. It wasn't until mankind made itself known that other species had their eyes open to all the ways people can gather together.

Some were common such as business meetings, midday breaks, and dinners to give a few examples. It was the ones where something to be celebrated or cheered on that took aliens aback. Even parties for the sake of having fun and nothing else was a pleasant wonder to be exposed to.

Of all the various reasons to gather, however, it quickly became clear which ones held the most weight, and how much it meant to be specifically invited to said gathering. Humans almost always invited whoever they can to any gathering they held, but when they narrow down who to invite it becomes a point of pride to be selected.

There is one scenario that trumps all invites for aliens, and it's when the invited alien has a seat reserved for them and them alone. To see such a thing means more than they can put into words, and often times their composure fails them from how touched they are. They hold such moments near and dear to their hearts and treasure such memories, even if the gathering devolves into chaos the few times it does.

Art by me.

Preface: An Email

01 Ruairí McNoone

02 Dr. Ruairí McNoone

03 Ruairí McNoone Does Rounds Part 1

04 Ruairí McNoone Does Rounds Part 2

05 Ruairí McNoone Meets with the Commodore

06 Ruairí McNoone and the Engine

07 Ruairí McNoone’s Public Service Exemption

08 Ruairí McNoone Goes Home

09 Ruairí McNoone Buys The Engine

2226.08.28 24:30 Zulu Ruairí McNoone meets Lusa and Lisa

Ru finally got to the hotel at 18:00 local. 24:30 Zulu time. He realized that he had not eaten since his lunch at the terminal lounge.

After checking in, Ru was not surprised to find that it was a two bedroom suite. One bedroom was occupied by a USN Lt’s uniform, thrown on the bed. Ru found his bag in the other room.

He headed to the hotel restaurant. The maître d'Hôtel informed him it would be a 30 minute wait for a table.

Maître d'Hôtel: “I can offer you a seat in the lounge, sir, and when your table is ready, I will come and get you.”

Ru: “That will be fine.”

Maître d'Hôtel: “May I have your name and room number, please.”

After Ru gave the maître d'Hôtel his name and room number, the Maître d'Hôtel replied: “Ah! Mister McNoone, my apologies to you, sir. As an exclusive guest you automatically have a reservation. It appears that three members of your party have already been seated. Please, come with me.”

The Maître d'hôtel led Ru through the main dining room to a smaller room. The room was quieter and less crowded. Seated by a window, was Johnny with two women. Johnny raised his arm. Ru joined them.

Johnny: “Ru, this is Lusa and Lisa. Lusa, Lisa, this is Ru. Ru, you’re late, it’s your round.”

Ru: “I am pleased to meet you both. And Johnny, I am not late. I arrived at precisely the time I walked in the door. If this is on the room, then Nana is going to get the bill.”

Lisa: “Hi, I’m Lisa, it’s nice to meet you.”

Lusa: “Hi, I’m Lusa. Have we met before? You look familiar.”

Ru: “I do not think so. I would remember, if we had.”

A waiter approached the table. “May I get the gentleman a drink?”

Johnny: “Try the local stout Ru.”

Ru: “I will have a pint of stout, and another round for the table then, please.”

Waiter: “So two Stout Dildo’s, and two 1890 ale.” The waiter went off to the tap room to fill the order.

Ru: “What? What did I just order?”

Johnny: “Relax Ru. It’s a nice stout, made in a town called Dildo, near St. John’s.”

Ru: “You are pulling my leg, right?”

Johnny: “I only wish. In this case, the truth is better than anything I could make up.”

While waiting for the round to come, Ru took a look at the menu. To his surprise, it was rather international, unlike the lounge at the port. The offer of filet mignon and lobster appealed to him.

The waiter returned with the drinks, and took everyone’s order.

Ru: “I heard from GG that you are with the Heyerdahl project Johnny. When do you expect to launch?”

Johnny: “I have one more qualification to complete, and then final assessment. I expect to get a crew assignment before the new year. After that, it’s just waiting for a ship to be built.”

Lisa: “Johnny’s part of a deep dive session we will be conducting starting on Monday.”

Ru: “Deep dive as in climbing into a dive suit and being lowered to the ocean floor?”

Lusa: “Something like that. Except that he will walking down a ramp from our boat, which will already be on the ocean floor.”

Ru: “Now I have lots of questions after that last statement. First of all, I gather both of you are also navy?”

Lisa: “Sub-Lieutenant, RCN.”

Lusa: “Acting Sub-Lieutenant, RCN. Confirmation of the promotion is expected any day.”

Ru: “The list of questions just got longer. Deep dive probably means a type 1012 at least, with a DD configuration. Am I correct in presuming that you will not be going past the 2,500m continental isobar?”

Lisa: “You seem to know an awful lot about our subs. Should I be concerned about that?”

Johnny: “Don’t worry, Lisa. Ru’s security clearance is probably higher than yours. His research and unpublished papers have contributed to your job.”

Ru: “Time to change the subject. How did you all manage to become friends?”

The waiter arrived with the food. As they began to eat, the conversation continued.

Lusa: “I was part of a team that was sent to Pensacola to help the US Navy integrate into the new standard UNTO weapons control systems.

Johnny was there as part of the fighter group on the US side. We worked together so that now USN aircraft can talk to UNTO and UNTO can talk to them.

Johnny: “The old system was just too cumbersome. Too many people involved in one shot.

After UNTO adopted the new one, it took us naval aviators three years to convince the Defence Department to switch as well.

One to one, the weapons targeting officer talks directly to the pilot. Green lights are transmitted in 1/3rd the time, and 100% accurate. As a bonus, exercise training has shown that friendly fire incidents are zero.”

Lisa: “So P/O 1^st Class Lusa Arnaaluk, RCNR, is now A S/Lt Lusa Arnaaluk. We hot bunk together on the same boat. You can’t get any more personal than that.”

Lisa pointed her fork at Johnny: “If you bump my besty, then I keep an eye on you.”

Ru: “So, now Johnny’s going into deep space, for what could be fifteen to twenty years. Johnny, that is going to be a record for long distance relationships.”

Johnny: “It is what it is. Look, both my parents have it worse. Mom is USN and Dad is RN. You probably see you uncle more often than she does. I am surprised that they are still together.

When two service people decide to start a family, it jeopardizes both their careers. They were the exception, not the rule.

I won’t put that on anyone. Most especially Lusa. So, for what time we have together, we have fun, and make memories. But that is all. When the time comes, Lusa goes her way, and I go mine.

Ru: “My apologies, Johnny. I did not mean to upset you. You are the closest one to brother that I have.”

Johnny: “It’s OK Ru. We are brothers. I’m glad you found someone, and that you have a chance for a normal life.”

Ru: “You mean Mary? We have only just met. She already has a career. I still have not found mine yet.”

Johnny: “You have a career already. Just keep doing what you do. People will pay you for what you know. Look at today, you saved Nana about 35,000 credits, even after the costs to get you here. And you located a piece of history that was lost over 250 years ago.

And, if all that fails, you and Mary can always be V-Tube stars!”

Ru: “So you have seen that video as well. I fear it will haunt me forever.”

Lisa: “That’s it!

Lusa: “I knew it. You’re the Welsh Haka singer!”

Lisa: “You're famous. Did you know that?”

Ru: “I can only hope that was my 15 minutes, and that nothing like that will occur again.”

Johnny, with a big grin: “Sorry Ru. That video only lasted 5 minutes. Some time in the future, you are going to get another shot at it. You won’t know when or where, but you owe fate 10 minutes, and she will take it from you!”

Ru: “I suppose it could be worse. Nana has been trying to convince me to join the Navy Reserve.”

Lusa: “There is nothing wrong with that. Let me tell you a story.

For thousands of years, my family lived in the Arctic.

I was born on the shores of the Arctic ocean. I was given the name Lusa, which means Midnight, because that was the moment when I first breathed air.

When I was six, I could handle a kayak. My father taught me to roll upright when I capsized.

When I was eight, I could handle a dog sled, even though we use snow machines, we still keep dogs.

When I was ten, I could skin and butcher a seal. Every piece was used. Sinew to make snow shoes, hide for waterproof kamik to keep my feet dry and warm, even the bones and teeth. Nothing is wasted.

When I was twelve, I could hunt on my own. At 300 metres, with a cold barrel and iron sights, I could take a caribou to feed the whole family for a month.

When I was fourteen, I finished the online secondary education program through the network system. I was no longer required to attend school.

When I was sixteen, an Elder caught me standing on the shoreline, at midnight, stargazing.

The Elder’s all agreed that I was ‘Namunngauvalliajuq tarniq’.

Roughly translated in context it meant my soul was wandering away, and I had to go find it.

I was given the name Arnaaluk, which means ‘a spirit of the woman under the sea’.

I was sent to the university school, in Inuvik. There I learned more about science, mathematics, computers, and other things that are not taught in our little school or online.

Now all of that costs credits to live in Inuvik. So, I had a choice. The family could pay for it, or I could do community service.

One of my professors showed me another option. She pointed out that if I joined the Reserves, I would receive more than enough credits to cover my costs, and have some left over for myself.

The commitment was two four hour training sessions a week, plus one weekend a month, plus one two week period a year. All of it was scheduled around my school work, so as not to interfere with my education.

The bonus was I could also afford to send credits home, to help pay for the little luxuries, like fresh fruit, instead of canned.

So now Mr. Ru McNoone, I am a commissioned officer, in the Royal Canadian Navy, with a Masters degree in computer science and machine code programming.

My point is that the Reserves, Navy, Army, or Air Force, are more than just a vital part of our sovereignty and security, but are a way up for those of us who live on the edge of the economy. A hand up, not a hand out.

So you had better not knock the Wavy Navy, or we will come looking for you!”

Johnny sat there and listened with a smile on his face. Lisa stared at Lusa with a worried expression on her face.

Ru just sat there. When Lusa had finished, he chose his words carefully.

“I am sorry if you misunderstood. I had no intention of slandering the reserve forces. I merely stated that my Nana, a Commodore in the RN, was encouraging me to join the Royal Navy Reserve. I find myself in a position where I owe the Social Contract two thousand hours of community service.

Believe it or not, one of my options was to become a voluntary Park Ranger at Dartmoor. I could spend my days riding my horse through the park checking camping permits and issuing summonses to litterers.

Both you, Lusa, and my Nana, make a very good argument for the Naval Reserve. Johnny makes a good point on my ability to earn as a researcher.

I have just not committed myself to what I want to do. Oh, and by the way, Nana hates the use of ‘Wavy Navy’. She thinks it is divisive.”

Lusa: “I apologize as well Ru. Can I write it off to a bad day?”

Ru: “No harm, no foul.”

Lisa: “Another one? The same one again?”

Lusa: “No, a different dream this time. I was standing on the bottom, but I was not wearing a deep dive suit. I was wearing a full pressure suit. I was looking at an inuksuk, left by my soul. It was pointing to Polaris.”

Lisa: Then I think it is a good sign. Your transfer to the Heyerdahl Project is effective in the new year, right?”

Lusa smiled a little: “My spirit is telling me that I must go to the stars to find my soul.”

Johnny changes the subject: “We’re still on for the two weeks at your settlement, after the training session is over, aren’t we?”

Lusa: “That is 100% happening. You and I are going to kayak to my favourite cove, and live in an illu for a week. Be prepared to live on fish and uqsuq.”

Ru: “Do not forget about November. Bonfire night on the 5^th, and a grand ball on the 7^th. You should bring Lisa along, as well. Have you got a plus one, Lisa?”

Lisa: “First of all, what is bonfire night? Second, when you say grand ball, do you mean snot tracks on the ceiling? And no, I am currently unattached.”

Johnny: “You’ll love it. Every 5^th of November, the British celebrate Guy Fawkes’ attempt to blow up Parliament. A big tower of anything wood is built in the field in front of the manor.

Everyone in the area is invited. They all bring something to throw on the fire. Bits of scrap wood, old wooden stools, broken spoons, whatever.

There’s hot chocolate, hot tea, hot apple cider, baked goods, and live music.”

Ru: “If by ‘snot tracks on the ceiling’ you mean upper class twit of the year award winners, no.

What you will meet is some olive drab, some sky blue, but mostly navy blue, all ranks and all ratings. The ratings will be retired servicemen. The McNoone trust funds an interest group on behalf of veterans.

Dinner served for immediate family and honoured guests at six. Other guests begin arriving at seven. Live music, dancing, and a buffet beginning about eight.

Nana runs a tight ship. By invite only. Mess kit or evening wear. Nana would love to see both of you in uniform, rather than a gown. She is big on women in the services.”

Johnny: “The veterans lobby helps keep the politicians away. Can Monty pick us up at Heathrow?”

Ru: “You might be better to get a flight into Gatwick. If not, then take the tube from Heathrow.

It is a lot easier and less time consuming to get a flight plan registered for Heathrow.

I think it is because Gatwick is the only airfield that has a Scots air controller, who can understand what Monty is saying.”

The evening carried on. Johnny and Lusa wanted to spend some time alone on the next day.

Lisa offered to take Ru on a motor tour of the island. Ru agreed, and said that there were two places he wanted to see. One was Signal Hill, where the first trans Atlantic radio broadcast was received. The other was a town named Hearts Content.

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2226.08.17CE 18:00, 12 Days Earlier, Aboard HMCS Winnipeg.

HMCS Winnipeg Type 1012DD Capital Class Deap Dive Sub Surface Vessel

Propulsion: Type 4 AIP over Lithium LiFePO4 Mark 8* Batteries w/Diesel Electric backup

Displacement: 1,410 tonnes Surfaced, 1,580 tonnes Submerged

Length: 92m

Beam: 12m

Draught: 7.2m

Operating Depth: Classified

Speed: Published at 20knots Surfaced, Classified at Submerged

Endurance: Published at 45 days Submerged

Range: Published at 12,000nm

Compliment: 37 All ranks and ratings, plus an optional unpublished number of SBS.

Armament: 6 launch tubes, 24 torpedoes all types and/or SSAM, Cruise, or Ballistic

Drones: 12 Sea Scorpians with recoverable fibre optic

Sister Boats: Ottawa, Victoria, Edmonton, Regina, Toronto, Ville de Quebec, Fredricton, Halifax, Charlottetown, Saint John’s, Whitehorse, Yellow Knife, and Iqaluit

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HMS Winnipeg was sitting on the ocean floor. She had been sitting in the same spot for eighteen days. She sat there relaxed but vigilant. She was listening to the ocean. She heard everything, from the splash of a seal, to the call of a whale. She heard the sound of ice flows crashing into each other. In the far distance, she heard the screws of a Canadian Coast Guard ice breaker, as it cut a path through an ice flow. The ocean was never silent. Even at maximum depth, the Winnipeg could always hear the waves far above it.

Acting Sub-Lieutenant Lusa Arnaaluk sat at the weapons control station of HMS Winnipeg. In 10 minutes she would officially be relieved by Sub-Lieutenant Lisa Cray. Lisa would be 5 minutes early. All relief personnel kept that routine.

It was also no accident that the bunk space they shared was located next the secondary after control position. That position was the action station of which ever one of the two was not currently on duty.

It was the end of the 1^st Dog Watch. 18:00 Zulu.

Between the end of the Afternoon Watch, at 16:00, and the beginning of the First Watch, at 20:00, that four hour period was split into two 2 hour Dog Watches. It did two things.

First, it allowed the galley to serve the main meal of the day to half the crew at a time. This allowed the crew to take their time and enjoy the meal, without being rushed.

Second, it split the watch into seven periods. With an odd number of watches, you never did the same watch schedule twice in a row.

The system dated back to the 15^th century, when a half hour glass kept time aboard the ship, and a bell was sounded each time the glass was turned.

At six minutes before the end of the 1^st Dog Watch, the Captain turned to the duty bosun and said “Pipe to action stations”.

The bosun pushed a switch at his station with one hand and brought his pipe to his lips with the other. The pipe sounded all through the boat.

“D’you hear there, d’you hear there, all hands to action stations, all hands to action stations.”

Before the bosun could finish his call, the crew was already moving.

The hangers on in mess swallowed one last bit of pudding and headed to their post. Crew members poured out of their berths and moved quickly through the passageway to what ever station they were assigned to.

Twenty-two seconds after he finished his call, every station had reported to the bosun that it was manned, and the status board at his station lit up all green.

The duty boson stood back, out of the way, to act as a messenger, as the Chief Bosun replaced him.

Chief Bosun: Captain. All stations manned and ready, all watertight doors are closed, Sir.

The Captain replied, “Acknowledged Chief, all stations manned and ready, all watertight doors closed.”

Captain: “Weapons.”

Lusa: “Weapons, sir.”

Captain: “Retrieve all scorpions.”

Lusa: “Retrieve all scorpions, aye sir. Secondary Weapons, this is Weapons.”

Lisa was listening at the secondary weapons station: “Secondary Weapons, aye”

Lusa: “Retrieve all larboard scorpions.”

Lisa: “Retrieve all larboard scorpions, aye.”

Lusa and Lisa then began to lift the deployed scorpions from the bottom of the ocean floor. Lusa worked the starboard side, and Lisa the larboard side.

One at a time, the scorpions lifted themselves up and began to return to the boat, reeling their fibre optic cables in, as they moved.

When all the scorpions lights turned from red to amber and then to green, Lusa reported to the Captain.

Lusa: “Captain. All scorpions retrieved, all hatches sealed, sir.

Captain: “Acknowledged, all scorpions retrieved and all hatches sealed. Very well. Officer of the Watch”

Officer of the Watch: Officer of the Watch, sir.”

Captain: “Report the status of the surface.”

Officer of the Watch: “Sir, status of the surface, clear, no ice directly above, opening is 200 by 300 metres, sir.”

Captain: “Acknowledged, clear, no ice above. Make for periscope depth.”

Officer of the Watch: “Sir, make for periscope depth, aye sir.”

The Officer of the Watch passed on orders to the helm and dive control. The Winnipeg began to rise off of the ocean floor.

Officer of the Watch: “Captain, we are at periscope depth.”

Captain: “Acknowledged, periscope depth. Report status of the surface.“

Officer of the Watch: “Sir, status of the surface, clear, no ice, opening 200 by 300 metres, sir.

Captain: “Acknowledged, surface clear, Raise periscope.”

Boson: “Raise periscope, aye sir.”

The Boson pushes another button on his console, and the periscope begins to rise up to the surface. When the sensor detects it is clear of the water, it stops the periscope.

At the control station, four screens light up, along with a larger one, that shows the surface ahead of the bow. The larger target screen then pans a 6,400mil circle.

The chart table in the middle of the control room immediately displays a dome above the Winnipeg’s position. It shows nothing in the air. A small green dot appears about 200nm from the boat. It’s identifier shows it to be a Canadian Coast Guard ice breaker.

Captain: “Officer of the Watch, is it clear to surface.”

Officer of the Watch: “Sir, chart is clear and normal. I make it clear to surface.”

Captain: “I concur, clear to surface. Officer of the Watch, surface the boat.”

Officer of the Watch: “Sir, surface the boat, Aye sir.”

As the Winnipeg rose out of the water, the periscope gained height, and the dome projection on the chart increased in size.

Captain: “Chief, pipe me through the boat.”

Chief Boson: “Piping you through the boat, Aye sir.”

The boson pushed the button, and blew his pipe. Then he passed a microphone to the Captain.

“All hands, this is the Captain. I have horrible news. Your month of quiet time and RR has been cut short. We are recalled to Resolute.” A cheer goes up through the crew.

Captain: “I would not be too joyous just yet. We have been assigned to a Deep Dive training exercise. We have one week to prepare, and two weeks of exercise. Further details will be posted on the orders board. That is all.”

The Captain hands the microphone back to the Boson.

Captain: “Chief, stand down from actions stations. Arrange deck time for the crew.”

Chief Boson: “Aye sir, stand down and everyone gets 15 minutes of fresh air. And you sir are the fourth person on the queue, after the bridge crew.”

Captain: “Very well Harry, I won’t argue with you, this time.”

The Chief Boson smiles, and reaches for the loud hailer button again. A pipe echos through the boat. “D’you hear there, d’you hear there, all hands stand down from action stations. “Starboard division to duty watch. Larboard division to stand by. Deck time rotation in ten minutes. Group one report to the forward torpedo room. It’s -25 out there, so dress warm.

Group two stand by.”

Under the Chief Bosuns guidance, after one hour and 10 minutes, the whole crew got deck time, and the Larboard division even got a hot meal. No one on the Starboard division complained if their relief was 15 minutes late. It was all part of life aboard a submarine.

The Winnipeg slipped beneath the surface, into her natural environment, and made for home.

At the same time HNoMS Oslo rested on the ocean bottom, in her place.