Really, ask anyone. That said, two of my grandsons (15 and 11) live on the east coast; I'm in the midwest. At best, I get to see them twice a year. But I'm an observer more than a doer. We do some stuff (board games, amusement parks), but mostly we're near each other rather than with each other, y'know? Next week, tho, all week, I'll be "babysitting" (obviously not, given their ages) while my son and DIL are away. The boys will be in school during the day while I work from (their) home. I'm seriously stuck for ways to engage with them in the evenings, during dinner, etc. I'm awkward and not great at small talk in the best of circumstances. These are good boys; my son and DIL are really good parents. I'm not concerned about them trying to play me or get something past me. I did raise a boy of my own, after all. I very much want to connect with them, since I'll have them all to myself, and not just be there.

Thanks for reading!

My wife and I are debating boundaries in relation to how much effort we put into our grandkids (0, 2, 5, 7), specifically how much they can be expected to entertain themselves when they're visiting us etc. We see them 2 to 3 times a week (not normally all at the same time to be fair), so quite a bit compared to some, but not every day by any means. It feels like it would be doable for grandparents of our age (50s), but it is proving a boundary problem with our daughter (their mum).

When we do have them, my wife in particular is more or less continuously occupied by them, which leaves her drained and exhausted; I'm often working, so I'm less engaged, but when I'm not working, I am in full 'Grandad mode' as much as anything to take some pressure off my wife. There's only so much I can do though, as they're so used to my wife being The Perfect Nanny, that all they want is her; we joke about how many times in one day the word 'Nanny' is shouted between them.

The youngest of course do need more attention, but the older ones, if at home with their parents would normally play together or by themselves whilst their Mum and Dad are going about normal household business or whatever. I think we can be more like that, and I recall that being the norm with my own grandparents when I was a kid, and with both of our parents when our children were young. But my wife can't seem to let go of her role as constant entertainer, and this is leaving her far more impacted than the '2-3 times per week' headline figure would seem suggest.

Hello. I am a 22-year-old female seeking a genuine, platonic maternal bond. To be clear, I am not looking for a 'mommy kink' relationship, but rather a wholesome, SFW connection with someone who can truly act as a mother figure to me.

I have a loving wife who is supportive of this, and my hope is to find someone who wants to be a steady, nurturing presence in my life. I struggle with ADHD, depression, and suspected autism, as well as undiagnosed POTS, and I find a great deal of comfort in having a maternal figure who can provide structure, check in on me, and take charge in a gentle way. I crave that warmth of being someone's 'little girl'—someone who can scold me for not texting back or remind me to take care of myself, and someone I can tell everything to.

In return, I offer deep loyalty, affection, and a sincere desire to grow under your guidance. I would like to start slowly with texts and blurred pictures, moving toward phone calls and eventually meeting in real life if we find we are a good match. If you are a naturally nurturing person who has room in your heart for a daughter, I would love to hear from you.

Any currency is fine l can convert

Hello All! I am running a research study focusing on how Gen X and Gen Z communicate, and how technology has impacted how they communicate with each other. I made a separate post recently, but have now made some edits to my questions! Any responses would be greatly appreciated to get a more well-rounded view of how this dynamic has changed!

Is it normal to love your grandkids more than you love your kids?

I would greatly appreciate some help with a school research project! Any and all responses are greatly appreciated!

Hello all, I am coming to ask for your help. I am running a school research project for my university. I came to this forum page to ask if I could get any volunteers to add to my page to help with my research. I am studying how Gen X and Gen Z communicate, and how technology has impacted that communication. I would greatly appreciate any help you have to offer!

This is going to sound insane but anyone who has insight I'm all ears. Our oldest daughter married her high school sweetheart three years ago and they very quickly had our granddaughter. Now we believe in boundaries because of our own parents and our kids know this. We respect and don't overstep and our daughter has anxiety so her rules are her rules and she's a very structured mom. (Totally fine with that, as I said we understand boundaries and trying to build a life young.) Granddaughter is 2.5 and she's been to our house to visit with her mama but we're not allowed to babysit because she treats her in laws and us equally and she's not comfortable with being away from her daughter. That's absolutely her perogative and I don't have a problem with that. Our granddaughter knows who we are and she is only 2.5.

Last year our oldest son (older than our daughter that's married by a year) brought home a girl. They were married within two weeks. (We supported this decision because sometimes you just know.) Not only did we gain a daughter we gained a grandson. He is just a few months younger than our granddaughter so he was just at a year and a half when we met him. Now our daughter in law has no family and the guy that helped produce our grandson is long gone and absent. She'd been balancing life as best she could working a couple of jobs with babysitting from friends etc. So the week we were planning the wedding she brought him here and left for work back and forth. My son gave her the choice to become a sahm and with utter faith she did. Obviously that was a culture shock for all three of them, my son overnight became a dad and husband, my darling in law got the chance to be a mom and for the first time had family, my grandson got utter stability and structure which threw him completely for a loop. I'm not saying it's been completely smooth sailing because of course they're all still learning and adjusting, heck they're still dating and learning each other they just happen to be doing it married. So often on the weekends we have the grandson for them to go on a date and while he's on the road she comes over for dinner and hangs out etc.

This has begun to fester a horrible attitude in my daughter. She thinks we favor our daughter-in-law and grandson. But we treat them absolutely equal besides the amount of time we're allowed to spend with them which is set by the parents. We always ask if we can grab them both for lunch, or drop off something or offer to meet them at the park or ask what might be needed (in my grandson's case we often already know cause we have him.) the only time our daughter says yes is if she wants something herself (which I also get because she's never known different or hardships. Their dad and I have been married for decades and they never went without she rarely heard no and her husband rarely tells her no etc etc. yes she's spoiled but we have absolutely told her no... literally I'm not sure she's ever truly struggled in her life)

My question is how do help balance out the bond (not monetary or possession as that's equal) while staying within the boundaries set by two different houses.

When O.J. Simpson got arrested for murder, my grandmother refused to believe the news.

“He wouldn’t hurt a fly!” she said.

“Really?” I said. We used to sit on her bed in her Park Avenue apartment and watch TV. I was fourteen when the infamous Ford Bronco car chase went down.

“Not my O.J.” she said.

“Your O.J.?”

She looked at me, as she often did, like she was sharing a secret.

“He flirted with me!” she whispered. “Trust me. He’s way too handsome and charming to kill anybody.”

\\_\\_\\_

This is a personal essay I recently wrote about my very unusual grandmother, Joan Schindler: interior designer to the stars, croissant entrepreneur, hustler, fabulist, survivor, and one of the most important inspirations in my life.

It’s also about what happens when you get older and begin to understand the adults that you loved as a child — in all their complexity.

I spent the last few months talking to people who knew her, revisiting stories I grew up with, and discovering A LOT of things I never knew.

The result is a very personal essay available 100% and always for free

https://maxwinterstories.substack.com/p/momo-and-me

I'm Mack, founder of Zip's Mailbox Club, and I'd love a grandparent's honest take on what I'm making.

Kids ages 3–12 get two personal story letters a month from Zip, a fictional postage-stamp character, or one of his Crew friends, plus coloring and paper activities. Their interests become part of the letters. Younger kids read with a grown-up.

The first mailing includes a pre-stamped envelope addressed back to Zip. The second has a Letter to a Friend and a pre-stamped envelope. That friend could be you, even if you live far away. A drawing counts, and sending anything is optional. No correspondence homework 😂

It's $20 per child/month, postage included. Renews monthly until canceled.

Sample pages: https://zipsmailboxclub.com/whats-inside?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=organic_social&utm_campaign=reddit_pilot_202609&utm_content=grandparenting_01

Looking at those samples, what would make you hesitate to buy this for a grandchild? Price, what arrives, another monthly subscription... or something I haven't thought of? I'd really appreciate the honest version.

Help your grandchild name difficult feelings, feel heard, and reconnect after hard moments. Big Feelings + Better Conversations gives grandparents practical words to use when emotions run high. Simple tools. Practical help. More time together.

Tap to learn more

I built an AI character specifically for grandparents trying to keep up with kids, school and technology — I'd love some honest feedback

I'm a grandmother raising grandkids, and one thing I keep running into is how much has changed since we raised our own children.

Homework looks different. Schools use apps and portals for everything. Kids speak an entirely different technology language. And now AI has been dropped into the middle of all of it.

So as part of GrandFamily AI, I created Nannie.

She's an AI guide designed to answer the kinds of questions grandparents don't know who else to ask.

Things like:

“What exactly is Google Classroom?”

“Can you explain this math problem the way they're teaching it now?”

“What is this app my grandchild keeps talking about?”

“How can I use AI without being a technology expert?”

“What should I know?”

The goal isn't to replace teachers, parents or professionals. It's simply to have somewhere grandparents can ask a question and get a plain-English explanation.

She's now live and I'm testing her.

If you're a grandparent, kinship caregiver or raising grandchildren, I'd genuinely love to know what you would ask her first.

You can meet Nannie through GrandFamily AI:
https://www.grandfamilyai.com/p/about-grandfamily-ai.html

I'd also appreciate feedback on anything that's confusing, unhelpful or missing. I'm still building this for real families, so that feedback is useful.

I try to babysit my two year old grandson about once a week in my house. I pick him up at daycare early and give him dinner play outside etc with him and get him home in time for bed. I love spending time with him but I always find myself running out of things to do. I have blocks trucks trains books an art easel, t ball water table and sandbox out back. He loves coming here but all activities last about five minutes each and I can’t seem to come up with other things to keep him occupied. Ideas please!

Live 30 minutes from our son and first grandchild. Always try to be supportive and stay out of their business - we (58 and 55) had our kids, now they have theirs, we don’t need to be involved in everything. They reach out to us frequently for help. Most young couples need help. But it feels like we’re wanted when they need something and not wanted if they don’t.

Last weekend our grandson had his first ever pee wee football game 15 mins away and we found out with a social media post after the fact. Hurt our feelings that we didn’t get an invite. Is it unreasonable to want an invite?

Most days I feel like a bank ATM and spot babysitter. I guess that’s my fault.

I'm doing research on how grandparents stay connected with their grandchildren and would love to hear from people with real experience.

It's a short voice conversation — about 5-7 minutes — with no right or wrong answers. Just your honest thoughts on what it's like keeping up with each grandchild's life.

No selling, no pitch. I'm in the early stages of an idea and genuinely trying to understand the problem before building anything.

If you have 2 or more grandkids and don't live with them, I'd love to hear from you:

Click here to share your grandparent experience

My parents (aka my kids’ grandparents) are moving to Florida, and I am worried that they’ll miss my young son and daughter dearly, but remain stoic about it. I want to support them and make sure they still feel like connected grandparents.

If you’re a grandparent who lives far from your grandchild (different city, state, or country):

• What’s the hardest part of that distance, day to day?
• Is it missing the small moments, not knowing what’s going on in their life, not feeling “present”?
• Do you wish you could send them things more easily? Talk more often? Something else entirely?

I just want to understand better to better support my Mom/Dad. Thanks for your help.

As much as it pains me to say so, I have to accept that my dysfunctional, depressed stepdaughter is a neglectful mother, as is their father. I was a very deliberate father, and my wife was also, though she tended to give in when she should have stood her ground as we raised our blended family. I didn't press the issue with her when she continually gave in or allowed them to harangue her into acquiescence on responsibility issues, she knew how I felt, but I left it up to her to choose her response. Thus, we have two completely different groups of blended children; mine with advanced degrees and professional careers and hers whom none of finished a year of college and now take whatever job someone will allow them to do.

The most troubled one of my step kids is probably the nicest one, but she is incapable of managing her life, taking care of her kids, and not living in total chaos. She has shown serious signs of depression, and it is debilitating for her. I am available as a retiree to watch her kids when she works, and they are undisciplined, addicted to screens, and extremely immature. Today I picked them up at noon and when I asked if they had eaten anything she said no, just no, nothing else. Of course, the first thing I did when I got them home was to feed them.

I didn't react because I wasn't surprised, and any admonition from me would have had a polarizing effect on the relationship; I allow my wife to deal with it as has always been our policy. Step parenting is often like being a UN Peacekeeper, you are there to promote peace and safety, but you don't engage in fighting unless attacked first. It involves a lot of clear, reasonable communication, but discipline is the other parents' domain.

My wife is very frustrated by this, as she is with the antics of the other children; and their dad was a child himself, so no leadership came from that direction. His influence was fun and games during his visitation times, and they'd come home after a weekend of cotton candy, soda, game rooms and entertainment, with book bags unopened, weekend homework not done. it should not come as a surprise that this introduced instant conflict.

I gently nudge and seek the ability to influence my wife to take a more proactive step in encouraging our daughter to seek help. We've paid for anti-depressants (she has no insurance), and other interventions, but I think she needs to be engaged by hearing very direct and honest feedback. For my part I try to expose the kids to enrichment opportunities when I have them, but sometimes they are so dysfunctional that they can't even talk to me. They will allow me to entertain them, but as soon as the trip to the playground, library, nature preserve, zoo etc. is over they revert to their screens and tune out. I end up not having the energy or patience to continually be in conflict with them.

Does it make me an azzhole for not giving my grandkids (have custody of them) mother money for their food when she doesnt pay child support?

We have custody of two of our grandkids. And when we leave for date nights or mini vacations their mother stays with them. Do not leave money sence she does not pay child support cause its not ordered.

She has people telling her that we are using her and need to leave money for the kids.

Are we wrong for not leaving money to them, when she has a full time job.

My heart! He's perfect and is sooo mellow!
I was acting like a damn fool around this perfect Lil Man❤️❤️❤️
I already told him YES! Blanket answer to THE questions 😎

This book https://www.amazon.com/Miles-Away-Grandparenting-Nuturing-Connections/dp/B0H83JFNKR/ has some great ideas for staying connected if you're away from your grandkids. Written by a grandmother who made it work for her.