Daily declutter help please!

[u/bigformybritches]

I want to become better at decluttering in the moment, every day. My lifetime habit has been to let things build up and then do a BIG declutter. I’m getting older and do not want the big build up anymore.

My question is for those who are GOOD at making decisions in the moment and keeping clutter at bay by never letting it build up. What do you ask/tell yourself? How do you avoid regret? How do certain things make the cut?

Examples are: junk drawer items, worn out clothing, cosmetics I’ve had awhile, school related stuff…but truly anything and everything.

I envy people who look at something and say, “I don’t like this.” And into the trash it goes. I feel so guilty! I’m big on donating but I think it’s becoming an excuse to let things build up.

I don’t want to have to move piles/car loads all at once. How do I become a better daily declutter-er?

[u/Opening_Chemical_777]

We are downsizing to move to an apartment. I’m bipolar and I’m peeling back layers of acquisitions from past manic episodes. Some things are truly useful and enjoyable and many things are easy to let go. Things are new and nearly new and good donations. I follow s/bipolar and it’s an expensive problem for many people and there’s no discussion about decluttering, just the problem.

[u/DelayFluid1732]

i keep a tiny donation bag in my closet so when something feels meh i just toss it in there right away it's wild how much less stuff builds up that way

[u/bigformybritches → u/DelayFluid1732]

Thank you. I’ve always put stuff in a different spot and then I guess out of sight out of mind. I should keep it right in my closet.

[u/Whybaby16154]

I use the onion method. Just peel each room a layer when I’m in the mood.

I walk in and say “I need 5 things out of this room and look - then dig for 5 things I probably won’t ever miss. I’ve done this for YEARS and couldn’t tell you what’s gone.
Once I have 5 I pack to donate into my car and carry on with my day.
I NEVER empty a whole closet or try on all the clothes and exhaust myself before fixing the MESS.

Other days I fuss with a nice organizer - put in my favorites that fit - and exile all the rest

Most of my drawers in the kitchen are full of my favorite things and nothing else.

Working to get there in all the other rooms - after a big purge and move a couple years ago. I had no idea what my life would be in different location and vocation . Now I know I can ditch more

[u/FredKayeCollector2]

I think one part is clutter threshold/inventory management - how much stuff can you manage before it gets out of hand - it's usually a lot less than we think. The other part is something like "the dignity line" (not holding onto "useless" "junk"). Also coming to terms with how loss aversion, sunk cost, endowment effect, and identity clutter (including past life and fantasy life stuff) affects you.

I think the Minimal Mom does a good job talking about inventory, the responsibility trap (trying to predict what we need in the future), and being prepared (actual money > stuff).

You need to give your time and energy and space as much "value" as your stuff - in fact, I would argue your time and energy are more valuable that your stuff because they are the two commodities in our life that we can't get more or really stockpile - time is spent no matter what we do and our energy reserves are limited but they can be "replenished" usually with rest (a.k.a. time). Space is also a limited quantity for most of us but at least we can control how we use it and what we choose to fill it with. Meanwhile money, we can get more by working more or stockpile by not spending.

For me, I try to apply Dana K. White's "no mess" decluttering method and if I find something "out" or "out of place," I deal with it right now - put it where it belongs, put it in the give-away box, or throw it out/recycle it. No more piles "to do" later.

And the secret sauce, for me was a before-bed tidy (living room, kitchen, downstairs 1/2 bath) and morning tidy (bedroom, upstairs bathroom). In the beginning, it was a checklist and recurring alarm and probably took a good 15-30 minutes. Now I don't need a list and it takes maybe 10 minutes because everything is constantly baseline every day. At this point, it's become such a habit that I literally cannot go to bed without at least neatening the living room, making sure the dishes are washed and the counters/stove wiped down, and check the bathroom/toilet. And in the morning, I just naturally make my bed, neaten my bedside table, make sure laundry is in the basket, and make sure the bathroom is good-to-go. It is so nice to come downstairs to a tidy/reset space in the morning and it's so nice to go upstairs to bed with nothing to do but sleep.

[u/Rosehip_Tea_04]

Clothing is easy, if I put it on and it doesn’t make me feel good, it’s going. If I have something that sits in my closet a long time and I realize it’s because I have nowhere to wear it, it goes. This rule isn’t exactly about special occasion clothes, I had one office level dressy shirt that I always thought was beautiful, but I didn’t wear it once because it was blue and I hate wearing blue shirts with blue jeans. I had a beautiful, comfortable, and warm long sleeve shirt I absolutely loved, but it had bell sleeves and I could never find an occasion I could wear it for because the sleeves always got in the way.

Kitchen items needed one big declutter and now I’m either replacing existing items that wore out or adding new tools I really need that fit in the space.

Around the house it’s just as I find things. If I open a drawer and find something I didn’t know I had, it can more than likely go.

I’m working on getting my house completely organized. What I’ve found is that if I can’t find a home for it, it’s probably not important enough to keep. I buy much less with an organized home because I know what I already have.

[u/Hungry-Emotion7664]

It has helped me that I have stopped telling myself stories about things. I deal with it in the here and now with the facts of my life at the time.

I don't force myself to relive the process of buying it, using it, having it, and all the memories attached to it. I can ruminate any time I choose, and I don't have to put myself through all that just to discard an item.

Also, I've moved many times in my life...between 20 and 30 times, and I have learned that I can live without and get over any losses. I've lost nearly all I owned twice, still here, still getting along even without all that stuff.

I keep a box in the back of my car, donate items go in the box, when I pass the thrift store I drop the stuff off. Sometimes I find someone who wants it before I hit the thrift. That works too.

I also don't pass off my issues to the thrift store. I don't donate stained or worn out clothing, or broken items that could be fixed, but I never bothered to fix them. Donating is giving forward, not a means to assuage my guilt, shame, weight gain, or over spending habit. Taking responsibility for my decisions in the past and today has really helped keep me from bringing more stuff in without good reason.

I am still working through my cluttering issues. I belong to Clutterer's Anonymous, and it's helped me with so much more than clutter.

I'm in the process of helping my daughter move and wow she has a lot of stuff. I'm so glad I have a head start by addressing my own clutter for several years. It is helping me help her.

[u/Opening_Chemical_777 → u/Hungry-Emotion7664]

A friend told me three moves equal one fire. When I was younger I moved every few years. Now we’ve lived in our home for nearly 30 years and we are downsizing for a move and the truth of the adage is tangible.

[u/Crazy-Aussie-Taco]

From what you’re describing I feel that you have never done a big declutter but big tidy ups. Tidy ups without decluttering first tend to not last.

One of the reasons people feel guilt getting rid of things is because of the money they spent. The thing is that that money is gone and unused things make people pay a big tax. That tax is space, untidiness, overwhelm, and if it is completely out of hand, it can also be embarrassment and even isolation.

I’d recommend you hire a professional declutter expert if you have the budget for it, they will not throw your things out, they will help you make decisions and you’ll make the final decision. With them you will set in place systems to help you keep your space under control. There is no one-size-fits-all, that’s why you need something set in place according to what you need.

All the best in this journey!

[u/ColorfulBooks]

I don’t do well at doing a big declutter — too many decisions all at once. Daily decluttering works for me. 

I have a designated spot for donations (and a rule about how many pile up before they are donated — only one tote bag’s worth is allowed) and of course trash cans around the house. So if something needs to go, it can immediately be put in the trash or donate pile. 

I try to ask myself as I go thru the day “is this still something I need?” It takes time to get in the habit of it! I also ask myself when something is hard to put away or hard to find — is there something I could do to make it easier to access this? Or if I haven’t looked in a drawer for a while I’ll take a min and look thru it and see if there’s anything I can get rid of. 

[u/Purled_Attitude]

worn out clothing - as hard as it is, unless it's really good quality and has still quite some wear in it, I toss it now. Second-hand shops are struggling to keep the clothing flood at bay, and nobody will buy a nearly dead cheap t-shirt.

junk drawer item - why is it "junk"? Why is it in a drawer and not with the other tools, shoe items, kitchen items etc. whatever it is?

cosmetics - has it been opened? When? If you don't remember, toss it. Using expired and possibly spoiled cosmetics will do you no good. If it has not been opened, is it something you might use? If not, why not? If not, do you know anyone who might use it?

I'm a very non-sentimental person, so it's not really difficult for me to get rid of things. And then it's a matter of wondering "need or want", and if want, what causes it. Do I need a dopamine hit, am I lonely, am I trying to distract myself?

Also, the fewer drawers and boxes you have, the better. These tend to gather "things". If you have a box, you put things into it and forget them. If you don't have the box, you need to make a decision about the things *right now*.

[u/Glittering-Benefit68]

1.) Liking it is not a reason to keep it. I check whether I have space and whether I use a thing. I like too many things. More than I can keep. It does influence what I keep, but learning I don't have to devalue a thing to get rid of it actually helped me.

2.) A functional home is worth some regret, but the more you do a bit (but often/regularly) the less you'll regret. 

3.) I use Dana K. White's no mess decluttering methode. She has a podcast (A Slob comes clean), books and videos. 

4.) I declutter when I start getting annoyed by stuff being in the way. Like if I have to remove a thing to get to this other thing, but it's something I use often. Something has to go.

[u/Opening_Chemical_777 → u/Glittering-Benefit68]

1 bis.) “sentimentality is not a reason to keep it”

[u/msmaynards]

Going category by category helps me. Individual items seem valuable but when I see how many I've got I realize it's too much.

Use the container theory. I have issues with rags and 'useful' reuseable jars and such. Keeping just the type I prefer in a single container helps keep me from accumulating too many pieces.

If you buy something get rid of at least that volume of stuff.

If you find yourself pushing things aside frequently, maybe those items are no longer useful enough to keep.

When is the last time you used it? Of course some items are essential. If plumbing is in great order maybe that toilet plunger hasn't been used but don't let it go! I hadn't used the fireplace accessories for ages and even turned the firebox into a dog nook and still had them. It wasn't easy but they are gone now. The number of small kitchen appliances that hadn't been used for years was staggering. Gone.

Most of the time I cannot look in a space and pick out discards even though house has been tidy for 10 years. I must toss a drawer, bin or shelf to really see and handle what is there. Guess it's part of spring cleaning so not a bad thing really.

It's much easier to continuously discard if you have a spot for them. I suspect my house got cluttered up in the first place because I quit keeping a donation box once kids weren't outgrowing clothes and toys on a monthly basis. It's back and gets emptied several times a year at this point.

[u/GulliverGrazerson]

One thing that helped me with this was putting everything in one category together and then deciding if any can go. So literally go through every single place eyeliner could be, line it all up, and get rid of that really old one and the Halloween one in a funny color you’re not going to use again. Then tomorrow do eyeshadow. As you get to bigger stuff, you may realize you now need a container for all this wrapping paper you’ve gathered together, or that the existing container for camping stuff is too small now that you’ve actually collected it.

Or alternately, sort one spot, like the junk drawer, into piles of related objects (for me at the moment it’s disposable utensils, rubber bands and twist ties, paper towels, candle lighters, straws). Then decide if any of those piles should actually be with other similar stuff somewhere else (I could probably move the straws in with the lids for cups in the next drawer) or whether you could put any of those things in a smaller storage container inside the drawer to make your life easier. In the process, do the same as above and get rid of one or two things per category if there are obvious “worst” or “least useful” ones.

I can’t tell you how many times we’ve said something like “wait, we have three irons and two are broken or missing parts? Why have we been storing two broken irons?” since I started doing this. It’s a big help.

[u/JustAnotherMaineGirl]

What works best for me are seasonal reevaluations of what's currently working and not working in my living spaces and my wardrobe, followed by purges of everything that didn't make the cut. When I keep my belongings limited to what I actually need and use, there's actually no need for daily decluttering. I often invest 15 to 20 minutes a day to tidy up and make sure everything is back in its assigned "house" before heading to bed, but that's organizing, not decluttering.

I'm not a minimalist by any stretch, and I don't aspire to be one. My preferred style is cozy and lived-in, not sterile and pristine. But I also don't want things cluttering up my space (and my life!) that are no longer special or useful to at least one of the people who live with me.

When I'm on the fence, I do have a "pending" box to store things for six months (a year for seasonal items), when the decision to toss or keep is not crystal clear during my purge. Nine times out of ten, I will end up dumping everything I put in there - I just needed more time to stew over it. But I have been known to pull a few things out, because sometimes I fall into a rhythm of tossing without doing enough forward thinking!

[u/AdLong6512]

I work really hard to not bring it in. If it is something I see while out shopping, I try to be intentional about whether I need it or not. If it never comes inside, I don’t have to declutter! I am also brutal about uncomfortable clothing or shoes. If I wear it out and I’m fussing with it all day, it doesn’t go back in my closet.

[u/lifeuncommon]

“If the house burned down tomorrow, would I replace this?”

That’s what I ask myself. If the answer is no, I can let go of it today.

*****

Also, be realistic about what you “donate”. A large portion of the things given to charity shops go right in the trash. If something is not good enough to give as a gift to one of your friends or family members, it’s not good enough to donate.

[u/bigformybritches → u/lifeuncommon]

That last thought is a great help. Thank you. If I wouldn’t give it to a friend, in the trash it goes.

[u/JustAnotherMaineGirl → u/bigformybritches]

I disagree with that premise, at least if you are donating to one of the big national charities. Unlike Mom&Pop shops, they have sufficient resources to recycle unwearable clothes and linens by cutting them into cleaning rags and packing them in bags for resale. People who for whatever reasons are marginally employable can earn an income and valuable work experience by doing the sorting, cutting, bagging, tagging, stocking, and selling, while sales of those rag bags go back into hiring more people - the same economic model as for wearable clothing. I typically separate out my ripped and permanently soiled items into a separate bag and label it "FOR RAGS" to make it easier on their end, but I actually feel good about donating them - because I'm keeping them out of the solid waste stream, and working in my local economy!

[u/UntrustedProcess]

Embrace minimalism.  It's an ongoing lifestyle versus a periodic activity.