I'm really sad and don't really know what to do. I am from very religious family and from a country where being gay is illegal.

Bit of back story, my sister's now ex feyonce messaged me on Grindr. Me and my friends confronted him and told her too. So now the wedding is off. Just after the confrontation, I told my extended family members who i trusted that I'm gay and that I have a bf. They seem chill with it but I knew that my parents are not.

So, my dad has cancer and in pretty bad state and I didn't want to upset him and my mom. So, i decided not to tell them that I'm gay.

Today, my sister basically confronted me and I didn't deny it. I can really see that she is disgusted by me and she just basically confronted me. So, i was very uncomfortable and it is just very bad overall. I do have plans in place for these. I basically trained myself for being okay with not having them in my life. But it really hurts when I saw her face. She basically told me that not to ruin her life.

I feel really hurt and idk what to do. I have a haloween candy box of 100pc and I ate about half of it. I'm just trying to make my stress levels go down so I don't get into suicidal thoughts. I knew she will respond like this but it hurts a lot. And she threatened to tell our parents and told me that it's out of her hands.

I wish I can make myself different. I really do. If it was possible, the life would be very easy and not this complicated. But I really can't. I know that I'm not even bi.

Idk what I'm looking for in here but I feel soo alone and scared

This is my coming out story. If you do not want to read a long paragraph about my experiences, please don't respond. No one is forcing you to read. Thanks!

Although the label on my sexuality has changed quite a lot, in the end I've always been a lesbian. There's this guy I often rant, we'll call him M I guess, about because he has always annoyed me and made it hard for me to focus in classes, and after a year of constant complaint, my mother said that I must have a crush on M and asked when I would marry him. Though this isn't the right thing to say, I hate him. I'm obviously not going to marry him, but my mom just wouldn't stop. It's now been two years of me having trouble with him and his friends, and I've been getting sick of being "shipped" by my own mother with someone I strongly dislike.

She asked, "Have you ever spoken to a boy and liked him?" I told her no, and she noted I'm not really friends with any boys. She said, "You just really like M. You're gonna marry him!" and out of absolute spite, I blurted, "I like girls!"

I had held in that sentence for four years and I finally said it, out of spite. And, honestly, I always knew that would be the case.

I'm someone who doesn't even understand the concept of thinking before you speak. I can keep a secret but after a while or under pressure I just say everything. But it needed to be said.

For those curious, after she stopped laughing in my face she asked if I actually did. I said, "Yeah" and she said, "Oh. Okay. Uh, okay that's okay." and I just spilled it all.

"Yeah, I've kinda been lying to you for four years. I didn't know what to say and I didn't know what you'd think and I just....I don't know."

She said, "I guess you are just that age now..." and we were silent in the car for the next twenty minutes.

That was over a month ago and it's the same as it always has been, except now she just knows that I'm a lesbian.

Was it pretty freaking awkward? Yes. Was it worth it? Also yes.

It truly does make you feel more free when you are accepted by your parents, especially if you knew there's a 50/50 shot for their reaction.

So long story short my grandparents have raised me since i was 12 but both of my parents are back in my life now. I (20 F) have been with my trans boyfriend (21) for 4 years. 2 years ago i told my super christian conservative grandparents that we were dating but did not tell them he was trans… so they believe we are lesbians. They do not like it or support it but they said they love me no matter what and they can’t judge me only god can. This year my boyfriend started T and the changes are becoming noticeable. I plan to tell them this weekend but I am so so scared. Family is everything to me and the thought of losing them is my worst nightmare. My grandpa is currently helping me financially through college but i don’t really care about that, i just want them to still love me. Me and my boyfriend agreed that they don’t have to support or want him around as long as they stay respectful and support me. Does anyone have any advice or their own stories to share? I am FREAKING OUT and don’t know how to cope.

Cómo le puedo decir a mi mamá que me gustan las chicas? La verdad ya tengo claro eso desde hace mucho. Pero nunca se cómo puedo decirlo y tengo miedo, que hago si reacciona mal? Y si me mira de otra manera? No quiero tampoco que piense que es una etapa

So last week I came out to my mom as non binary (she said she understood) then i went to sleep.The next day she just forgot like she still referred to me as a girl yk

I‘m so confused is she supportive not supportive, was my coming out just a dream idk

I'm asking a genuine question, like genuinely genuine.

I (17F) moved out of home because my mum couldn't accept that I have a girlfriend.

My mum has always been homophobic, so I never planned on coming out to her anytime soon. Unfortunately, she found out accidentally when she saw a message from my girlfriend, Chloe, saying she loved me.

She completely lost it.

She called me embarrassing, said it was just a phase, and told me I wasn't allowed to see Chloe anymore. I tried explaining that I was happy, but she wouldn't listen. After that, living at home became unbearable. She constantly questioned me, made comments about my relationship, and made me feel like there was something wrong with me.

Eventually, I realised I couldn't keep living like that. With help from a trusted teacher and a youth support service, I found supported accommodation and made plans to move out.

When I told my mum, she said I was throwing my life away over a girl and that I shouldn't expect her to come running after me if I left.

So I left.

I'm still 17, and living independently is definitely harder than I expected. I miss my mum sometimes, which makes everything even more complicated. Part of me still wishes she'd accept me.

But I can finally be myself without feeling ashamed of who I am.

Chloe came over the other day, and we sat in my tiny room eating takeaway and watching movies. It wasn't anything special, but I remember looking around and thinking that, for the first time, I actually felt at home.

I don't regret leaving. I just wish I'd never had to.

TL;DR: My homophobic mum found out I had a girlfriend, tried to stop me from seeing her, and made living at home unbearable. I moved into supported accommodation at 17, and although I miss my mum, I'm finally happy being myself.

So honestly, I feel kind of weird writing this out but to be honest Ive needed some advice for a little. Im gay (22 M)and I recently just went away for college. My parents aren't the overly religious type but nonetheless not fond of my community (to put it mildly). I always had to sneak around and to this day they both think im straight. I cant really come out because I need their help financially or I cant get my degree and ill never be independent and ill be a failure like them. Honestly its feels like a lot to handle even though ik so many have it way worse. I think something thats driving the way i feel is that I dont have any friends who relate to me, many of my friends from home wouldn't be my friend anymore if they knew. Honestly this part is self inflicted, their meer existence helped me hide for years buts its become a liability, they are good to party with and thats about it. I have tried to make new friends here on campus but I just feel so like......vulnerable ig? Honestly i had an experience where i got outed to a smaller group of friends a while back and ever since that i feel terrified of being seen as "gay" or being cast out or hurt for it. Sorry lol I dont mean to like trauma dump, but ive just been feeling the stress recently and I was wondering if anyone had any insights or advice. I want to feel alright with the fact that Im gay, and ive known for a long time but like...It just makes me feel crazy ig.

So I’ve been out to my mom for about four years now (pan/ftm) and she accepted me right away offering to buy me a binder and stuff. Then recently I’ve come out to my aunt and uncle and cousins. My partner has known for years too. Recently I’ve moved to a different city for school, and I’ve fully socially transitioned for the first time (in the new city at least). But I want to tell my grandparents and Christian dad as well, because I am six months on T and it’s very obvious something is up. I’ve been so terrified to though and I just don’t know how. My aunt has offered to tell them for me, but I’m scared no matter what it will be so awkward and they won’t understand. My grandparents don’t really get this stuff and my dad is always saying how feminine and stuff I look even with short hair. I’d really appreciate any advice or stories of your own that might give me some guidance.

I posted this in another thread- or community as well so my apologies if you see this in two different communities. For context, I (26F) came out as lesbian to my family in high school. They took it surprisingly well, minus my maternal grandma at the beginning- she ended up apologizing a year later about how she reacted and has since been supportive as well. I’ve since had relationships, one being somewhat long term, but haven’t been in a relationship past talking stage since 2019ish.

However, within the last seven months, I discovered that I’m actually bi. I took it hard at first, and I don’t mean that to come off wrong or judgmental in anyway. I mean that it just felt like I was lying to myself, I guess? I’ve since accepted my own self, if you’d word it that way, as sexuality is fluid. Recently, I started talking to a guy and I feel excited. But the thing is, only my friends and my mom know that I’m bi. They’re the only ones who know I’ve been talking to him.

I guess what I’m really trying to say is, suddenly I’m very afraid to tell the rest of my family. Especially my dad and one of my brothers. I genuinely don’t know how to tell them. But it’s not something I can entirely keep from them considering I live in a multigenerational house. I want to tell my dad, but I’m scared of how he’ll react. I’m scared of how my family will react.

Does anyone have any advice? A gentle push in the right direction? I feel really good about this person, and I want to see how things go. So I need any kind of words of encouragement or something to help me feel brave I guess. Thank you to anyone who reads this, I’m sorry if this post was a mess, but I appreciate anyone who takes/ took the time to hear me.

I (14M) am gay, but I'm not sure how to tell my family or if I ever will. My family is really homophobic. One of my brothers has explicitly said he is, and a few of my other siblings have implied it too.

The only person who seems accepting is my sister, but even then I'm scared to tell her because I feel like she might tell our mom with good intentions. She's 26, and I know she'd probably think she's helping, but I'm not ready for that.

I feel trapped, especially since I'm homeschooled and stuck at home all the time. I've told a few of my friends, and they've been supportive, but that's it.

I don't really know what to do. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle it?

EDIT i just wanna thank yall for the advice

Pan, nonbinary, 14

For context, I’m currently at my dad’s house (I don’t see him often), and it’s been four months since my last visit. I was playing a game with my brother and cousin, and we were driving a car. However, the car was wobbling, and he asked, “Is there anything you want to tell us?” I was silent at first, but when I came over here, I decided to tell him that I’m pan, but I’m not sure how to do it. I also brought my arm sleeves and thigh highs so im scared they might touch my bag and find them.

I need help :sob:

(19F) my family it’s mostly Christian and catholic, and they truly hate and don’t tolerate gay people. I grew up hearing how they thought my brother was gay and how they will do all this weird things to make him stop.

They would make me and my sister act “masculine” around him. We weren’t allowed to even play with dolls. I didn’t have a problem with it anyways, but my sister did.

Recently, a cousin of mine went on vacation with her female friend (they are both girls) and they were matching outfits, even with my cousins daughter. My mom came up to me and she said: “don’t you think that’s a bit weird.” She was like mad and worried that my cousin and her friend could have a relationship. She literally started praying and in the prayers she mentioned, “god please protect my children from this deadly sin.”

My dad also talk about how it was so bad to be gay for 20 minutes straight in a car ride. He told me that since I was in college, to please don’t have friends that looked gay because I might get basically contaminated by it. Those were the longest 20 minutes of my life.

I’m afraid to come out, I really love my parents and I don’t want them to hate me. I’ve known that I’m a lesbian since I was 11 when I had a crush for the first time. I’ve tried recently to date men, but I just felt disgusted by them (no offense)

What can I do?

I desperately need advice. Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years, and we recently moved 15 hours away from our home state after I graduated college. We moved in together, started new jobs, and began building a life in a new city. At first, everything seemed great. We were happy, exploring together, and excited about this new chapter.
A few months in, though, I started feeling like something was wrong. I tried to focus on myself by stopping drinking and working out more, but eventually, I started having recurring thoughts that my dissatisfaction might be because I’m gay.
For context, I came out as bisexual in my late teens, but I never fully came out to everyone in my life. I told people as needed because I was afraid of how certain family members and friends would react. I’m realizing now that keeping this part of myself hidden has created distance between me and people I love. Some family members would probably be accepting, while others might stop speaking to me or treat me differently.
My boyfriend has known I’m bi since we first met, but I’m starting to think I might actually be gay. I feel guilty because he’s been an amazing partner. He’s kind, loving, and someone my family adores. Being with him even made me understand why people want children and a future with someone. I genuinely love him as a person, and I never intended to hurt him.
We’re currently living together in the middle of a lease, and our relationship has already been struggling. He’s mentioned that he doesn’t want to live with someone unless the relationship is leading somewhere. I know I owe him honesty, and I’m not going to ask him to stay with me just for appearances or because of our lease. He deserves someone who can give him the future he wants.
I’m safe with him, and I genuinely believe he’d be supportive. The problem is that I’m not ready to come out to my family, and I’m terrified of hurting someone who has been so good to me. I also feel guilty that I’ve spent so much time in this relationship without fully understanding myself.
I’ve been crying more and more, constantly questioning my sexuality, and beating myself up over everything. I don’t know how to approach this conversation or how to explain that I never meant to mislead him.
Has anyone ever realized they were gay while in a long-term relationship with someone of the opposite sex? How did you tell your partner? If you were on the receiving end of that conversation, what helped you feel seen and understand that the relationship was real, even if it couldn’t continue?
I want to be honest with him and handle this as kindly as possible. I just don’t know where to start.

i'm 21m, nigerian, and still very much in the closet. literally nobody who knows me knows i'm gay. i try my best to present as straight, keep my personal life private, and just get through life.

i've never even met another gay guy in person.

being gay in nigeria is already difficult enough, and i know that from personal experience. i'm still struggling with a lot of things myself, so this situation has really messed with my head.

last month, the day before my 14-year-old younger sister returned to boarding school, we were watching a movie together. two guys kissed, and i casually asked her if she knew anything about homosexuality.

this girl looked at me and straight-up asked, "are you asking me because you know i like girls?"

i was genuinely caught off guard. not because i hadn't suspected it before, but because i'd been in denial about it.

i wasn't expecting her to just come out with that question.

and i couldn't even answer her.

the next day, she went back to school, and that was that. we haven't properly talked about it since.

but i've been thinking about it ever since.

she's 14. she has about a year left before finishing high school, and i can't stop thinking about what she might be going through internally or what she might have to deal with in the future.

and the thing is, i'm not confused about homosexuality itself. i'm gay too, i'm confused about how to process this as her older brother, especially in a country like nigeria.

i know what it feels like to have to hide parts of yourself and how isolating it can be. i'm still dealing with my own struggles, and now i'm wondering whether she's going to have to experience some of the same things.

part of me wishes she didn't have to deal with any of this. not because there's anything wrong with her liking girls, but because i know the environment we're growing up in.

i know how our society can be, and the thought of her going through that at such a young age genuinely scares me. i keep thinking, why her too?

she's my little sister. i want her to be happy. i want her to grow up without having to be afraid of who she might fall in love with. i want her to have the freedom to figure herself out without worrying about how people might react.

but i can't even be open about my own sexuality, so how am i supposed to help her navigate hers?

i haven't told her i'm gay, and i don't know if i ever will. i have to think about my own safety, too. but i also don't want her to feel like she's alone if she's struggling with these feelings.

i don't want to project my experiences onto her or assume she's going through exactly what i went through. i just know how hard things can get, and i'm scared for her.

i guess i'm also grieving the fact that something as ordinary as liking someone can become such a complicated thing in a place like this.

i don't even know what i'm looking for by posting this. maybe advice from older gay guys who have been through something similar, or just people who understand what it's like to be queer in an environment where you can't really be yourself.

how do i approach this conversation when she's back home? how do i let her know i'm someone she can talk to without revealing something about myself that i'm not ready or safe enough to share?

i love my little sister man. i just want her to be okay.

and honestly, i wish things were different for both of us.

Any advice and critiques are appreciated. I plan to read this all from a google doc just because I know I’ll be stop nervous to remember