So this 'girl' followed me on insta i asked if I knew her she said that it was random we talked she did send a vn yk to tell me fs that she was a girl but she's 18 in a college and has like 50 followers and following from chattisgarh so no way of meeting physicaly

I did confront her about my doubts and then we called talked on Instagram using voice call for a couple minutes she did refused to open the camera but it was a sound of a girl that I heard and she mostly talks with vn only I'm really confused what should I do ?! Please reach out by dm do not answer in comments of possible

Hi everyone:) met this girl online awhile ago and have had an awesome time with her playing games and such and since we were just friends and a few states away in the USA no FaceTimes or meetups were a thing. She’s sent me pics here and there and I had no reason to believe they were fake. A small slip up and random “people you may know” social media thing made me find out her name wasn’t what I knew it was which is cool safety first, but then I did a lil bit of investigating because some small things weren’t making sense. Lil bit of investigating these past weeks have turned into FBI level investigating(joke) and I found a few profiles and a single picture that immediately proved the catfish theory like 99.9%.I haven’t said anything to her yet because i genuinely enjoy talking and spending time with her although it’s slowed down.(maybe she’s realizing what she’s doing is bad?) I don’t understand why she’d do this like she’s pretty and so cool and doesn’t need to do it at all and I wish I never did the digging because I think it’d really affect her getting exposed and it makes we want to delete every form of social media lol. Thoughts? I know what I need to do but what is reddits opinions

Edit: I’m sure people catfishing check this subreddit often. If this sounds like you or if it is you please don’t panic just be straight up with me before I need to be straight up with you

In 2024, I (27F, but was 25 then) became friends with a girl online through a video game. Let’s call her Popcorn (25F but was 23 then). We quickly became good friends and started talking pretty much every day. We had quite a lot in common, and our conversations were usually about hobbies, games, work, and just everyday things. Occasionally, we’d talk about anxiety or things we were struggling with, but nothing too deep.

She was quite quiet and sometimes struggled to respond to things, but she explained that it was because of her autism and social anxiety. I understood and got used to the way she was, so it never really bothered me. I genuinely enjoyed talking to her and liked her as a person.

Fast forward several months, almost a year, and we still hadn’t spoken over voice calls or exchanged photos. At first, I assumed she might not be very confident or perhaps had some bad experiences in the past. I know these things aren’t necessary for an online friendship, but personally, I feel like they help you get closer to someone, especially when you can’t meet them in person. It’s nice to be able to put a voice or face to the person you’re talking to, and for me, it also feels like a sign of trust.

As more time passed, though, nothing really changed, and I started feeling like we weren’t getting any closer as friends. We considered each other best friends, and we’d even sent each other birthday gifts. She arranged mine through my ex-boyfriend at the time, and I sent her parcel to a post office for her to collect. So, it wasn’t as though we were just casual online friends.

I really value close friendships, and I want to feel like I’m genuinely getting to know the people I care about. As much as I liked her, I was upset that our friendship never seemed to progress beyond a certain point. Eventually, I started distancing myself a little. I went from messaging her every day to maybe every other day, and we stopped playing games together as much.

I know I could’ve handled things better and communicated how I was feeling instead of pulling away. I’m not a very confrontational person, and I had tried bringing it up before, but she seemed uncomfortable, so I’d leave it alone. When she noticed I was acting distant and asked me about it, I blamed it on the personal things I’d been dealing with that year, which she already knew about, rather than being honest about the actual reason.

One evening, she joined me on a game, and we ended up having one of those late-night conversations. I’d been stressed about some unrelated things and was venting when she mentioned feeling lonely. I told her I felt the same way, and I finally worked up the courage to tell her that I was upset we never seemed to get to know each other on a deeper level. I explained that I would’ve liked to have voice calls or even just know what she looked like.

For context, she knew what I sounded like, and I’m pretty sure she knew what I looked like, too. I’m comfortable sharing those things with people I trust, and I guess I’d hoped that, after so long, we’d reach that point in our friendship.

She apologised and said it was something she couldn’t do. That was pretty much the end of the conversation.

After that, we spoke even less. We’d occasionally play games together, but we’d mostly just talk about the game, if we spoke at all. I ended up withdrawing again because I felt a bit silly for putting so much effort into making her feel comfortable and hoping we’d eventually become closer, when it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen.

I started thinking that maybe I needed to put more energy into other friendships that felt more fulfilling. I still cared about her, but I was struggling with the fact that we considered each other best friends when I didn’t feel like I really knew her that well, if that makes sense.
I can’t remember exactly when we had that conversation, but it was a few months ago now, and we’ll have been friends for two years this December.
Fast forward to now, and she recently messaged me explaining everything. She told me her real gender, name and age, explained why she’d lied, and said how terrible she felt about keeping it from me for so long. She also said she wanted us to continue being friends and reassured me that our friendship hadn’t been a lie, just her identity.

Honestly, I was stunned. I wasn’t angry, if anything, I felt sad for her knowing she’d been carrying this secret for so long. I replied not long after her initial message, telling her I wasn’t going anywhere and that I still wanted to be friends. I wanted to reassure her that everything was okay and that I wasn’t going to abandon her over this.

But now, I feel like I might’ve responded too quickly. I probably should’ve taken some time to process everything before reassuring her, because the more I’ve thought about it, the more conflicted I’ve become.
I feel betrayed. I’ve spent nearly two years being friends with someone I believed was a girl, sharing personal things with her that I probably wouldn’t have shared if I’d known she was actually a guy. Now I feel embarrassed and stupid, even though I know I couldn’t have known.

The weird thing is, I remember occasionally wondering to myself, “What if she was actually a guy? Would that bother me?” And at the time, I honestly don’t think it would’ve. But now that it’s actually happened, I feel completely different, and I don’t really understand why.

I think if she’d told me earlier in our friendship, I probably wouldn’t have cared as much. But finding out after almost two years feels different. I have absolutely no problem being friends with guys, so it’s not that. It’s more the fact that someone I trusted wasn’t honest with me for so long, and I was sharing things with someone without knowing who they really were.

I don’t want to cut him out of my life, because I do still care about him and the friendship we had. At the same time, I’m struggling to separate the friendship I thought I had from the reality of what’s happened. I don’t know if I can just carry on as normal, but I also don’t want to throw away two years of friendship.
I guess I’m just struggling to figure out how I feel and what I should do moving forward. Has anyone been in a similar situation, or does anyone have any advice?

Apologies for such a long post! Just wanted to give as much context as I could.