r/bipolar • u/ANT-SACRIFICE Bipolar + Comorbidities • 17h ago

Careers/Jobs Loosing intelligence

Does anyone else feel permanently more stupid after manic episodes? I feel like I used to be so smart and I’d be so creative and write stories even when I wasn’t manic, and now I struggle with even articulating what I’m wanting to write and I can’t remember things as well anymore and this got more severe after a 6 month manic/psychotic episode. I’m medicated and doing great without episodes other than feeling a small overarching sense of boredom but it’s not severe or distressing me too much. Regardless, I’m starting school again and I’m proud of myself because I’ve dropped out 2x due to the excitement and anxiousness of a new era of going back to school and I think that’s what triggered my episodes both times while in college. I had one episode since starting my medication and instead of it being months long it was about 2 weeks of hypomania, one actual day of mania, 2 days of severe depression and then some rapid cycling and this was only a month long and it gave me the inspiration to go back to school knowing that my episodes seem to have drastically shortened duration while being medicated. Either way I have some anxiety wondering if I can get through because I feel like my brain function isn’t what it used to be. But I’m going to try. Im going to be 25 in a few days and I want to get a degree in environmental science. I just feel like I want to do something with my life and give 100% because I feel like life never been able to give my 100% in anything. Anyway just a rant, wish me luck :)

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u/laserpewpewAK 16h ago

It gets better. Mania is a little bit like taking too much of a stimulant- your brain is just absolutely saturated in neurotransmitters at levels way beyond what's healthy. When you first start medication you feel stupid because your brain has to physically recover from what is essentially an overdose. It can take months for your brain to heal and balance itself again, but it will heal.

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u/ANT-SACRIFICE 16h ago

Thank you laserpewpewAK I’m just waiting for it to all come back haha

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u/bennymuncher 13h ago

Getting on a med that stopped my manic/hypomanic episodes helped a ton. Give your brain time to pick up the pieces. Be patient with yourself <3

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u/TheHoveringEye 7h ago

I didn’t really know there was a scientific reason for this tbh. I was gonna say, I feel much smarter and better with my words during hypomania, and tend to feel like a complete idiot once I’m out of it

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u/BooBeeAttack 16h ago

It causes damage over time. The biggest issues in my experience coming from the lack of sleep and down cycle time. Mania may bring inspiration and desire, but it is not sustainable. Don't push for 100%, aim for 70, and plan for a crash period because it will come and you will need to fallback at times, even with medication.

Speed is the enemy, not your friend, in my experience. The world and society are going to push for the speed, especially when young as you are now. You are going to have to fight it and yourself at times to slow down.

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u/insignificantant0 9h ago

This is really solid advice

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u/Outrageous-Fan268 16h ago

Yes, I feel permanently more stupid. I had a very long undiagnosed, unmedicated manic/psychotic episode followed by severe depression. It’s been over two years since it began and I just had to leave a job I worked really hard for because it was too cognitively demanding. I also had terrible anxiety and couldn’t eat or sleep, which ultimately was what led me to quit, but part of that was because I couldn’t keep up. The job was teaching fifth grade. I was almost done with my graduate teaching certificate.

I know a lot of people say you’ll recover, and you very well may make a complete recovery. I’m 40 and I also have PTSD and ADHD (in addition to bipolar 1) which contribute greatly to my mental health struggles. I don’t want to be a downer. But also, your experience is real. You aren’t imagining it. There are others, like me, who experience decline as well.

Also if you’re interested there are seminars about this very topic that you can find on YouTube. If you’re interested you can look up cognitive decline in bipolar disorder and you can find several.

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u/haterskateralligator 15h ago

Give it some time but also yeah- bipolar episodes damage the brain. My new motto is prevent prevent prevent!

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u/DrShoe106 14h ago

Yes and it's a given fact that we are 50 percent more likely to develop dementia than people without bipolar disorder. It's a neurodegenerative disease. I struggle cognitively escpecially during severe depression. I'm medicated though so my highs are not that high and my lows are not that low, which helps.

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u/Important_Phrase 12h ago

Me,me, me! In school I did really well without much effort and I did a school education for getting a decent job. But all that was before my first manic episode.

Today I have problems learning anything at all. It really sucks as my professional field develops further but I can't really keep up as I can't really learn anything new. I hate this disease with a passion! Let's commiserate! Sometimes I feel like crying.

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u/flebalouwho 15h ago

First episode was about 10 years ago, second was about 6 years ago. They both caused some cognitive issues, especially the second which progressed to psychosis. I'd struggle with everyday things like completing sentences or anything academic, was sure it'd be permanent.

That hasn't been the case. As time went on, my faculties slowly returned with newfound emotional intelligence. That emotional intelligence comes in handy almost every day, and I would never have put effort into it without my episodes. Emotional intelligence typically isn't understood until it happens. It gives you the chance to heal from mania.

Remember that mania is very jarring, and in my experience it takes over your thoughts once you become stabilized. It's incredibly hard to trust your mind immediately after it betrays you (mania). Just keep moving your feet & eventually things will get better.

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u/BatWithTheGat 16h ago

yeah but i can't tell if i'm actually dumber. i do feel like its harder for me to find things that capture my interest enough to put me in the flow state. i kinda miss that a lot, i used to spend hours programming or writing. but i'm optimistic im just going through a stabilization period and it'll eventually come back. i also just wake up feeling pretty groggy every morning so that plays a role.

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u/taliajune 13h ago

absolutely! my psych always tells me mania literally does brain damage; so does stopping taking your meds. i always feel like i get my brain stuck in fun mode and i become unable to focus, learn, or work very hard. it’s a serious issue and im sorry you struggle the same way

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u/darthwalsh 12h ago

Feeling smart in hypomania might be like saying something smart in a dream: you remember that it was smart, but if you actually look at the evidence (what you wrote/recorded) it might not make much sense!

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u/Coughbrops 7h ago

oh my gosh yes my brain fog the next week or like the week after is insane i actually feel like dur