r/babyloss • u/BabyJonahKR • Sep 21 '26
2nd trimester loss How long did you wait? #TTC
I am exact 4w pp. Stopped bleeding on day 11(Sep 3rd) seem to have ovulated (Sep 11th) but no period yet. I want at least one cycle to pass before trying again. I miss my baby and conceiving again would not change that but I can't help but to feel this guilt for wanting to try so soon. Am I alone?
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u/Admirable_Hurry_3160 Sep 21 '26
I lost my first baby at 18w last June and we weren’t sure why so my doctor had us wait 3 months for all of the testing to come back. We waited the three months and during that time I tracked for ovulation just to make sure everything was on track for when we could TTC. We started trying the first month we could. I too felt guilty because I just wanted my baby but at the same time my thoughts of getting and being pregnant were basically all consuming. I would have left the hospital pregnant again if it was possible. During the 3 month wait I did a lot of therapy, puzzles and walks to try to work through the grief to prepare for my next pregnancy. PAL is a whole other mountain of emotions and fears to tackle.
I’m so sorry for your loss and that you are here. It’s the worst group to be in.
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 21 '26
It is really not a group anyone should be in at all but here I find comfort and encouragement in your story and others. My baby boy was also 18w, my midwife suggested waiting 3months for the results and then trying after, My appt is set for end of Oct which would put me 2mths & starting my 3rd cycle I believe so it's perfect timing. I am currently working on a book that I started when I got pregnant so there's that. Sending you baby dust for when you start trying again ✨️✨️✨️
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u/Admirable_Hurry_3160 Sep 22 '26
That’s good! I couldn’t bring myself to do anything baby related for awhile but now I have a memory box for him! Hopefully you get an answer from all of your testing too. Also when you’re ready the pregnancy after loss group is so amazing and comforting
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 22 '26
I'll definitely join to prepare my mind for what to expect because I already know it would be an emotional rollercoaster. A healthy earthside baby would be worth it all.
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u/WaterFiles Sep 21 '26
I think a lot of us were in your same shoes, wanting to jump right back in. I had a c-section. The drs told me to try to wait 6 months. We were able to wait 5 months and I'm currently early in my pregnancy. Hoping for the best <3
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 21 '26
Congrats Mama, praying for a healthy pregnancy for you!! Sending loads of baby dust ✨️✨️✨️...
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u/snugs_is_my_drugs Sep 21 '26
I had a full term stillbirth and a c-section, and conceived again 9 months (chemical) then 13 months after my loss (current pregnancy). At first the feeling of wanting to try again was completely consuming but the feeling faded a little with time.
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 21 '26
I fear that if the feeling fades I would never want to try again. I have no earthside baby and am nearing advance maternal. Hopefully I have an earthside baby before.
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u/snugs_is_my_drugs Sep 22 '26
I totally understand. I’m in the same boat, no living children and advanced maternal age. It’s so hard.
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u/MandalaElephant923 Sep 21 '26
We were told to wait at least 6 months to try after our loss. We conceived 8 months after and I'm currently 21 weeks with our rrainbow baby.
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 21 '26
Congratulations Mama, am so happy for you. Wishing you a safe and healthy pregnancy and delivery 💕 Am happy you conceive fast although the wait must have been hard it was worth it.
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u/bailsrv Sep 21 '26 edited Sep 21 '26
TW: LC
2 years ago I lost my son at 37 weeks and had a vaginal birth with no complications. My OB suggested we wait at least 6 months before TTC. That was in August. I became pregnant in January and that ended in a miscarriage. I got pregnant again in April and had my daughter last December. I remember wanting to try again asap. It’s normal to feel that way. If I could’ve walked out of the hospital after the loss of my son pregnant I would have. No one will ever replace your baby.
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 22 '26
Am sorry for your loss but really happy to hear about your rainbow baby girl 💕 I feel like that feeling of wishing we could leave the hospital pregnant is felt amongst many of us Angel Mommies. I'll be trying as soon as I get through the appoint to find out what possibly cause baby boy to pass. The desire to be a mom is so strong
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u/bailsrv Sep 22 '26
I’m so sorry about the loss of your baby boy. It is soul crushing. I hope one day you get your rainbow baby too and that your appointment goes well 💛
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u/Mindurbeezwax_ Sep 21 '26
I think this is a normal feeling.. We lost our baby 4 weeks ago. I was 34 weeks 5 days. We immediately knew we want to try again. I’m waiting for my 6 week appointment to discuss further with my dr. She told me I’d be referred to an MFM. She sounded very positive and encouraging about the situation
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 22 '26
Am sorry for your loss Mama. That's great to hear that you'd be under specialised care, it'll give you at least a little peace of mind, I pray that you get a very compassionate Dr. I am also awaiting my results and discussion with my consultant team and once everything is clear I'd be trying again. I have already started taking the necessary supplements. Sending baby dust for when you are ready to try again ✨️✨️✨️💕
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u/Mindurbeezwax_ Sep 22 '26
Thank you 💙 and same to you. I’m so incredibly sorry you’re going through similar. I’m my opinions it’s the worst pain anyone could experience. Praying for a successful pregnancy for both you and me 🫂
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u/TMB8616 Sep 21 '26
We started TTC 2.5 weeks after losing our daughter to a cord knot. I was in the hospital the night we found out already planning to try again. Husband was on the same page luckily.
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u/BabyJonahKR Sep 21 '26
We had the conversation as well in the hospital waiting for my body to go in labour. We wanted to ask what care would look like next pregnancy. So comforting to know that I am not alone 🫂
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u/shmoops14 Sep 22 '26
I’m about to hit 4 weeks postpartum this week. My husband and I plan on waiting for 1 cycle to pass then track ovulation and start trying again. My regular OB said that’s fine, though I am waiting for my MFM preconception appointment in a couple weeks to confirm she’s also on board with that timeline since I’ll be high risk with next pregnancy. Ultimately I plan on following whatever suggestion she makes as I want my body to be ready to support another pregnancy.
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u/No-Lengthiness-9431 Sep 22 '26
I am 5 weeks postpartum from a 39 week loss. We are going to start trying as soon as my ovulation returns. I was so excited to become a mom and she was my first. My doctor said we are good to start trying whenever we feel ready.
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u/Sweet_Check_2075 Sep 22 '26
We waited five months after vaginal birth before trying bc I was convinced it would take a long time. Got pregnant the first cycle, had a c-section and now we have a healthy six month old baby. Wishing the best for you and your family during this period ❤️❤️❤️
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u/After-Ad2800 Sep 22 '26
We are in the same boat, baby passed a week ago at 38 weeks and I just want to be pregnant again. It won’t take the grief away but we still want a baby and pregnancy is so long as it is.
As you all navigate this Id love to hear any ideas you have to not feel anxious/worried the whole pregnancy. I really enjoyed my pregnancy with my son who we lost and I want to enjoy this next pregnancy too.
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u/Square-Foundation-72 Sep 24 '26
We tried after my first full period but 3 cycles later it’s not happening for us yet
Sad because we got pregnant on our first try with my loss baby
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u/mantalight Sep 22 '26
I think most people in our shoes are pretty consumed by just wanting to try again, everyone I’ve talked to has been. I started as soon as I was medically cleared and it took a long time for anything else to happen which was extra hard because my 18w loss girl was a 1st try baby.
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u/mysonrowan Sep 23 '26
I am so sorry for your loss. 🧡
I am 2.5mo past my son’s death and we tried for the first time a week ago. Currently waiting another week to test.
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u/Dear_Alps54 Sep 22 '26
Same boat here. I lost my daughter 2weeks after birth. Had a C-section. Am 8weeks postpartum. Waiting for appt with mfm before trying again. I also have a fibroid that needs to be removed.
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u/OtherKaleidoscope358 Sep 22 '26
I started trying again right after my first period after my 32 week stillbirth. I found out I was pregnant when I was only 9 weeks postpartum. Don’t feel guilty about wanting to try again so soon! I felt the same way and was worried people would think I’m crazy. And maybe they will lol (I’m only 4+4 weeks and haven’t announced yet) but ultimately it doesn’t matter what they think. I’ve realized there’s actually a lot of loss moms who feel the same way and want to try again very soon. It does not replace the child you lost❤️
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u/ktpeachgirl Sep 24 '26
We tried again immediately and conceived on that try. I hadn’t even discharged the hospital from giving birth to my son before I knew deep down I wanted to try again. I knew we weren’t replacing him. He showed me how deeply we wanted a child and I knew grieving would be hard with or without a pregnancy. His little sister is 4months old now and I feel like we still get little glimpses from big brother all the time. We miss him like crazy and love his sister like crazy! But I certainly have no regrets on how we did it.
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u/Defiant_Potential262 Sep 26 '26
I am 4, nearly 5, months PP after losing my daughter at 21 weeks. Her due date was September 16, and I believe I had some implantation bleeding that day. I started having symptoms but am terrified to take a test. I don't want to be disappointed and feel guilty for wanting to be pregnant again so soon. We aren't even trying yet since we have been in the process of moving.
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u/Ok_Choice_7480 Sep 21 '26
I started trying almost immediately. I waited for one ovulation followed by a period to make dating the pregnancy easier. I too felt guilty, but then my bereavement midwife shared that more of her grieving parents do try again straight away than wait (excluding third trimester loss parents only because of allowing more recovery time). She shared that for a lot of parents it's a natural part of the grieving process and really normal.