I recently attended an Ashtanga yoga retreat in Iceland, expecting an experience centered on yoga, connection, mindfulness, and mutual support. As a member of this yoga community for years, I expected an environment where people would feel welcome and cared for. Unfortunately, I left feeling deeply excluded, unfairly blamed, and emotionally distressed.
The rental car situation
During the retreat, I shared a rental car with four other women and put my credit card on the booking, taking financial responsibility for the rental. Over time, another participant took over the driving. I felt that concerns about my driving influenced the group’s decisions and that I was increasingly excluded from driving and some activities. There were bad weather conditions; however, I drive everywhere at home in all kinds of conditions. From day one, the second driver said she was an experienced driver, which meant I wasn't. I asked, when we arranged the car rental group, why she didn't list herself as the main driver and provide her credit card. To which she had no response. She wanted the benefits of being the main driver without the financial responsibility.
I wanted to resolve the situation and told them I wanted the car, but I felt my perspective wasn't being heard. I didn't know the rules in the country, and I thought the main driver had to be in the car; once that was cleared, the second driver took over, and they drove all over a lot more while I was being pushed out of the car. At one point, I wanted to return the car early because the arrangement had become so uncomfortable. However, because I had taken on the financial responsibility for the booking, I felt obligated to see the arrangement through.
As I told them this, they forwarded all the messages to the retreat leaders, making me look like a fool.
The situation left me in an uncomfortable position: I remained financially responsible for the rental while feeling that I had little say in how the car was used. I increasingly felt like an outsider and left feeling like the scapegoat for the conflict.
Thankfully, I had an exam to study for during the retreat, which gave me something constructive to focus on. Otherwise, the isolation would have been even harder to manage.
The final experience with the car was particularly upsetting. When we arrived to return it, the other members of the group got out approximately ten minutes before the drop-off, leaving me to return the vehicle alone. After everything that had happened, I felt abandoned at the end of an arrangement for which I had taken financial responsibility.
During the return inspection, I was concerned about a small crack in a window and some other issues. The rental employee seemed sympathetic, and I was relieved to complete the return and leave without a further dispute. At that point, I was simply grateful to leave the uncomfortable situation behind and go home.
How the conflict was handled
What hurt me most was how the retreat leadership addressed the conflict. The yoga teacher’s husband shouted at me in front of everyone, accused me of creating problems, and repeatedly interrupted me when I tried to explain my perspective. He didn't specify what problems I was creating. He said he had attended many retreats and had never had anyone who created as many problems as I did. When I asked, he became impatient and yelled at me more.
I recognize he may have understood the situation differently, and other participants may have perceived events differently. However, I felt blamed without a fair opportunity to explain my side. Even if there were concerns about my driving or my behavior, I believe those concerns could have been discussed respectfully.
I felt collectively judged and excluded, to the point that I spent much of the final part of the retreat alone in my room. Rather than feeling part of a community, I felt isolated and cast out.
The emotional impact was severe. The very next day after returning home, I contacted a therapist to get mental health support because of how distressed I felt. I had never expected to return from a yoga retreat in that state.
The atmosphere of the retreat
Beyond the conflict itself, I also found the group culture different from what I personally value in yoga. Much of the focus seemed to be on who was the most flexible or advanced, with participants frequently taking pictures of themselves doing splits and other challenging poses at waterfalls and lakes.
I understand that people enjoy taking photographs and celebrating their practice in different ways. However, I found the emphasis on displaying physical ability and capturing impressive poses at odds with my own understanding of yoga. To me, yoga is about self-awareness, humility, personal growth, and connection, not comparing ourselves with others or showing off who can do the most advanced poses.
This is my personal impression of the group dynamic, but it contributed to my feeling that the retreat didn't offer the connection and mutual support I had hoped to find.
The contrast with my previous retreats in Costa Rica
What made this experience particularly disappointing was that I had attended two Ashtanga yoga retreats back-to-back in Costa Rica, and both went smoothly without any issues.
The teacher there made a genuine effort to care for everyone, ensuring that participants felt supported, looked after, and able to enjoy their experience. There was a clear sense that everyone's well-being mattered.
In Iceland, by contrast, I often felt alone. I did not experience the same level of care or support from the retreat leadership, particularly when the conflict arose. The contrast between the two experiences was striking.
What happened afterward
I wrote to the yoga teacher to explain how deeply the experience had affected me, but I have not received a response.
I had hoped that sharing my concerns would at least lead to an acknowledgment of my experience. I understand that disagreements can arise when people travel together and that no retreat organizer can prevent every conflict. However, I believe that how such situations are handled matters enormously.
A yoga retreat should offer more than yoga sessions and beautiful scenery. It should also foster an environment in which participants feel respected, supported, and included. When disagreements arise, everyone deserves to be heard and treated with dignity.
I recognize that other people involved may have a different account of events. I am sharing my experience, including the rental car situation, how the conflict was handled, and its emotional impact on me.
I have attended other yoga retreats without experiencing anything like this. This experience has seriously affected my trust in this yoga community, and I believe prospective participants should be able to rely on honest accounts of what a retreat may be like.
Has anyone experienced something similar at a yoga retreat? How did you handle it? And are there independent platforms where participants can leave honest reviews of yoga retreats?
Update after the initial post: Additional context about the car situation and the conflict
After reflecting on what happened and the replies I got, I want to add context because I realize I may not have explained parts of the situation clearly in my original post.
The woman who eventually became the main driver had previously been treated for terminal disease and was in remission. She shared her story during the retreat, and I felt it naturally generated empathy and concern in the group. As the conflict over the car developed, I increasingly felt I was being seen as the difficult person for asking to use a car I had booked and taken financial responsibility for. I found it painful to feel that her circumstances were understood with compassion while my own concerns were not being heard. I am not suggesting she didn't deserve empathy; I simply felt she didn't extend the same understanding to me.
I also want to acknowledge that I messaged the other participants in the car group to express my frustration and explain my position. I emphasized that my credit card was on the rental agreement and that I had taken financial responsibility for the car. Looking back, I can see that my messages may have come across as too direct or demanding, even though I meant to resolve what I felt was an unfair arrangement. I wonder whether that's what the yoga teacher’s husband meant when he accused me of creating problems. However, he never clearly explained what he believed I had done wrong, so I cannot know for certain.
There was also an incident involving the car and the other participant's driving. I became concerned when she was about to reverse toward a rock and potentially damage the vehicle. When I raised this concern, I felt that the others immediately defended her as the better driver rather than taking my concern seriously. This reinforced my feeling that the group had already decided whose perspective they trusted.
Also, it seemed like she directly wanted to make me look like the bad guy when she told the retreat leaders that they were afraid to ask for the car, even though they had the car all along to do anything they wanted, drove it a lot all the time, and pushed me out of the car. When I say they used the car a lot, I mean it. They drove it from morning until midnight. At night, the group chased the northern lights, made noise, and it was impossible to sleep. The night we disagreed over the car, the girl (second driver) posted in the WhatsApp group asking to be driven to see the northern lights; she didn't even ask me for the keys. She just did it to make me look like the bad guy.
I want to be fair in describing my own driving, too. I remember one occasion when I was driving and about to take the wrong turn, but corrected within seconds. Aside from that, I do not recall doing anything I considered unsafe, or that would justify excluding me from driving altogether. Of course, I recognize that other people may remember these events differently, and I cannot claim to know exactly how they perceived my driving.
I am sharing these details because I understand that my messages and the disagreement over the car may have contributed to the tension. I acknowledge that I was frustrated and that my communication may not have come across as I intended. At the same time, I believe we could have addressed the situation through a calm conversation where everyone could explain their perspective. What hurt me most wasn't simply that people disagreed with me, but that I felt judged and excluded, and that when I tried to explain myself, people shouted at me instead of listening.
I cannot speak for the other participants or know their intentions. I can only describe how the situation unfolded from my perspective and how deeply it affected me.
LAST UPDATE: THE YOGA TEACHER DID UPGRADE ME FROM THE BEGINNING TO A SINGLE ROOM WHEN I PAID FOR A TRIPLE. HOWEVER, IT IS STILL NOT MAKING IT OK TO BE TREATED SO UNFAIRLY