Jennifer’s body, the song by the band hole, is my favorite rage song. The lyrics “He said “I’M YOUR LOVER, IM YOUR FRIEND, IM PURE!” AND HE HITS ME AGAIN!” Resonates with me, but not in the way you think.

While the lyrics are initially about abuse; I interpret it in my own personal way. I have anxiety, some social anxiety, and whenever I go out and do things, I just overthink I worry that I’m doing something wrong, or if I made somebody mad somehow, if makes sense. I hate it. It makes me feel out of place. And in the end I go home, I over analyze interactions, and I worry and get exhausted and it’s like being hit by something that you know would never hit you.

He said “I’M YOUR LOVER, IM YOUR FRIEND, IM PURE!” = social interaction/friends/family/etc

“AND HE HITS ME AGAIN!” = the feeling that I somehow messed things up.

Not sure if that makes sense, but I love listening to music and interpreting the song and lyrics in my own way that I can relate to, so yeah, enjoy my low effort collage. Also, fun fact, the song inspired the movie Jennifer’s body.

I struggle to socialize. I get anxious, I feel embarrassed, I freeze up, and I end up feeling terrible about things I’ve said or done, for hours, days, months, or even years afterward.

I can’t even tell the difference between a friend and a mere acquaintance, and I’m constantly afraid that people might hate me (because, of course, I just have to make my own life more complicated).

My sister often helps me when I need a hand interacting with others, but that just makes me feel even more embarrassed. I’m 15 and she’s 13, and this has been going on for so long that I don’t even remember when it started.

Sometimes she helps me order food at a restaurant or talk to people (whether they’re people I already know or new acquaintances) and, most of all, I frequently ask her for advice on how to phrase text messages (because I get so anxious).

I have a "rule": if I care about a friend, I make sure they don’t meet her. I’m terrified that they might end up becoming *her* friend instead of mine; because, let’s be honest, she’s just fantastic compared to me, and the fear of abandonment is always lurking in the background.

This stems largely from my ex-girlfriend, who used to tell me: "Your sister is more likable than you." Even if she meant it as a joke, I’m now genuinely afraid that it’s true.

In these dark times, we have to find the light within.
Reach out to one another, look out for one another.
Vote. Vote early, and get involved.

©2026 Randall Kaplan

Glass Joe, Aran Ryan and Bald Bull from Punch Out!! are being used in this metaphor

It spits out hate no matter how many times I clear my throat of bile it bubbles and pops with a simple question how do I swallow the pain? Nothing I say is right nothing I say is pure the little black bird yearns to be heard!

i rewrote this poem, that I first wrote like 6 months ago in an influx of a PMDD cycle, the week or two is always the same, dread, despair & regret. it never changes, and I’m always stuck in the same pattern of impulsivity & deep depression, it truly is so deep & the suicidal ideation runs so deep, I really struggle not finding comfort in my old & harming coping mechanism, but I still hold out hope, even a little, just a slither of light, I mean it’s all I can do really do, for the inevitable of PMDD.