8 months na ako sa company and naging somehow close kami nitong taong 'to siguro nung ika 3rd month na namin.

Babae sya, almost same kami ng age range and, maingay sya as a person, palabiro, palatawa at pag tiningnan mo, ang gaan ng awra.

Ang kaso habang tumatagal, bigla kong napapansin na palapintas sya ng mga tao yung tipong kahit dadaan lang may nasasabi na syang negative, mahilig rin syang magparinig sa mga kateam namin tapos kahit nasa malapit yung taong gusto nyang itopic, itatopic nya. So imagine, yung iba naming kateam na walang kamalay malay na nagwowork pinagt-tsimisan na pala.

Marami kaming free time sa work kaya mostly gusto nya magchika chika kami ng buhay ng ibang tao.

As someone na baguhan sa company, sinubukan kong makisama pero di ko talaga kaya yung ganong energy ba.

I also caught her na pinaguusapan nila ako ng isa kong kateam kasi narinig nya usapan namin ng close friend ko na ako ung nagmamanage ng income namin ng live in partner ko. Na kesho bat ako daw naghahawak ng pera and nagb-budget and all.

Then multiple times ko syang nahuhuli na chinichismis sa iba yung isa kong close friend na kaibigan nya rin, kya siguro un na yung final straw ko at nagdecide na unti unti nang lumayo sakanya.

Nagumpisa ako sa paglipat ng pwesto, pag nagkakasalubong kami sa office simpleng ngiti at tango nalang yung ginagawa ko, and sya nagtatry mag small talk then sumasagot naman ako ng maayos respectfully.

Ganon lang kami from the past few months pero recently, bigla nalang siyang nagpaparinig saken saying to other people na "EWAN KO BA DIYAN BAT MAY MGA TAONG GANON"/"MALAY KO DIYAN, BIGLANG DI NALANG NAMAMANSIN"🤣

ABYG dahil bigla ko nalang sya kinutoff?

For context, my brother and I are half-siblings sa father’s side. We grew up together sa bahay ng dad namin, so kahit hindi kami full siblings, close talaga kami growing up. Ngayon, pareho na kaming may sariling pamilya, kaya hindi na kami madalas magkita. Maybe around five times a year, usually kapag may family occasion or kapag napapadaan ako sa bahay nila.

Now, here’s what happened.

My brother recently bought a big bike. Mga three days pa lang yata sa kanya yung motor when this happened.

The day before, nasa bahay nila ako, inaasar ko siya na babalik ako kinaumagahan para matry ko namang sumakay sa big bike. Hindi ko alam kung narinig ba ng asawa niya or kung aware ba siya sa usapan namin.

At kinaumagahan, bumalik nga ako ng may dalang helmet hahaha kako “tara na magkape!” Pumayag naman siya.

We rode for around 25 minutes to a nearby town. May dinaanan din kami na friend niya, then we had coffee for maybe 15–30 minutes. After that, dumaan kami sa puntod ng dad namin before going back to their house.

Less than two hours lahat.

I honestly just wanted to try riding with him since bago yung motor niya. And medyo ignorante ngani sa bigbike ang ferson na ito.

Apparently, his wife had been wanting to go on a long ride with him. Hindi ko alam na may ganung issue pala, and I didn’t think na magiging big deal yung simpleng pag-aya ko sa kuya ko.

Pagbalik namin sa bahay nila, his wife was visibly upset. Nagsisisigaw si ate gurl na ibenta nalang daw yung motor or blablabla. My brother seemed to be laughing it off, pero hindi ako comfortable sa sigawan blues, so umalis na lang ako.

Kinaumagahan, gulat ako may message siya.

Basically, she told me na huwag daw akong basta-basta pumunta sa bahay nila at mag-aya ng “rides” with her husband without informing her. Then she questioned my relationship with him and said something along the lines of:

“Ano ka, asawa niya?”

Honestly, ito talaga yung part na na-off ako.

Kuya ko siya. I have my own husband, and I never saw anything wrong with asking my brother for a short ride. So reading something that implied na parang inaangkin ko yung asawa niya just because I asked my own brother to ride with him felt insulting and, honestly, kadiri pakinggan.

She also mentioned that she had asked my brother if the ride was planned, and he told her it wasn’t.
Sabi pa niya “katibay mo naman, nauna ka pa sakin” insinuating na parang bat ako pa naunang umangkas kesa siya ganon.

Tawang tawa ako nung una because I couldn’t believe na umabot sa ganito yung simpleng pag-angkas ko sa kuya ko. But after reading everything, nairita na rin ako.

I replied that we only went somewhere nearby and that it was just a test ride. I told her na hindi ko naman inexpect na magiging ganito kalaki yung reaction niya, and I never intended to upset her.
I also told her that if the situation were reversed, I wouldn’t be jealous if my husband’s sibling rode with him. Maybe I’d feel a little disappointed if I had been planning to ride with him first, but I wouldn’t automatically see it as disrespectful.

She replied that I shouldn’t compare myself to her because we’re different people. She said I should have given her a heads-up instead of just showing up ready to ride, and that I was acting like I only cared about my own feelings. She also reminded me that we all have our own families now and can’t just do things the way we used to.

ABYG dahil hindi ako nagpaalam sa asawa ng kuya ko bago itesting yung motor niya?

Kagabi nalaman ko na niloloko pala ako ng live in partner ko. Walang sign na nagloloko sya kase bahay work lang naman sya at pinapahawak rin nya sakin phone nya kaya kampante ako. Ngayon naisipan ko isync yung viber nya sa laptop ko and boogsh dun ko lahat nakita yung pang gago sakin. Alam rin ng girl na may girlfriend yung ex

Kanina pa ko iyak ng iyak sa sobrang galit ko pinahiya ko silang dalawa sa viber gc nila. Nakakaramdam ako ng guilt kase, oo niloko ako pero after ko sila ipahiya hindi di naging okay pakiramdam ko.

ABYG dahil feeling ko nasira ko sila sa workplace nila. Deserve ba nila ginawa ko?

We are a big family (I have 6 sisters and 1 brother), pero we grew up without a dad—he died when I was just eight.

My oldest sisters, sila yung nag-sacrifice to pave the way for us. Lalo na yung pangalawa sa panganay kong kapatid (let's call her Ate Lhe). She was our breadwinner when my dad died, and she literally sacrificed her life (even her soul) just for us to have food on the table.

My other sisters (eldest and third eldest; let's call them Ate Jam—eldest, and Ate Jhela—third eldest) also helped for a couple of years after finishing high school. Pero they didn't have that much responsibility kasi nakapag-asawa sila sa gusto nilang time and all.

Ate Lhe had a daughter before turning 30, pero after three months, nag-work agad ulit siya, and she continued to provide for my mom and her kid. Good thing, around that time, yung isa ko pang ate, pang-apat sa panganay—Ate Emm—nakagraduate na ng college, so nakatulong din siya kahit papaano.

After a year, Ate Lhe had no choice but to go abroad kasi hindi sapat yung kita niya, lalo na kailangan na rin niyang isipin yung anak niya since she's a single mom. She left her toddler with my mom and us.

Siguro after a couple of years, sumunod na rin si Ate Emm na mag-abroad. So parang yung pagiging breadwinner ni Ate Lhe, napasa kay Ate Emm.

I really admire my sisters, and I greatly appreciate their sacrifices. Kaya kahit bata pa ako noon, during summer breaks in high school, tina-try ko na ring magtrabaho ng part-time.

Btw, I am the second youngest. May kuya rin pala akong middle child, but I'll tell you about him later.

Anyway, nung magko-college na ako, hindi na ako kayang pag-aralin ni Ate Lhe kasi may anak na rin siyang kailangang isipin. Tapos si Ate Emm naman, baguhan pa lang din sa work.

Gustong-gusto ko talagang makapagtapos ng pag-aaral, so nag-apply ako sa call center for a full-time job while studying in college (note: Architecture pa yung course ko—patayan talaga, 10 yung courses ko noon every sem).

Siguro after a year, hindi na rin kinaya ng katawan ko. I seldom got enough sleep, so I quit my job.

Mga ilang months, tinulungan ako ni Ate Jhela before nag-take over si Ate Emm since nakapag-abroad na siya.

This was around 2020. I feel like the pandemic was such a blessing in disguise for me kasi for more than two years, halos online classes lang kami. Nakapag-catch up talaga ako nang bongga.

So fast forward, nakapagtapos ako noong 2023, and yung bunso naman namin, sumunod the following year.

After a year, I decided to pursue my Master's here in the US. Nakapagtapos naman ako at nagwo-work na rin, thank God. Then yung bunso naming kapatid, nagwo-work na rin.

We thought our lives were improving until last year, when my mom was diagnosed with cancer.

It was the toughest time of my life, lalo na ang layo namin sa kanya. My mom is all we have, and at that time, all I could think about was that hindi pa ako nakakabawi sa kanya.

Since kaming tatlo ng mga ate ko ay nasa abroad (Ate Lhe and Ate Emm), nagtulong-tulong kami para ma-cover yung bills. Nandoon din naman yung iba kong kapatid, pero si Ate Jam talaga yung nag-asikaso nang bongga sa mga papeles and all. She was a big help to my mom during that time.

Thank God, natapos naman ng mama ko yung chemo niya, and right now, they're monitoring her condition.

So eto na nga.

Sa bahay namin, nakatira pa rin si Ate Jam, yung eldest. May asawa't anak siya, pero yung asawa niya, hindi masyadong nag-stay sa bahay kasi umuuwi rin sa Manila.

Since 2020, doon na sila nag-stay sa bahay. Akala ng mama ko noon, temporary lang, hanggang sa hindi na niya namalayan na naging parang permanent na.

Hindi rin sila masyadong nagsha-share sa mga gastusin sa bahay kasi yung asawa ni Ate Jam ay palaging walang trabaho. Siguro sa isang taon, apat na beses siyang nagpapalit ng trabaho, or minsan, isang taon siyang walang trabaho. Di sila mapaalis ng mama ko sa bahay, kasi everytime she tries, iniiyakan lang siya ng ate ko and sinasabi kay ate Lhe.

Yung isa ko namang ate, si Ate Jhela (third eldest), nakapagpatayo yung asawa niya ng bahay malapit sa amin. Pero kapag wala yung asawa niya sa bahay nila from Monday to Friday, doon sila ng anak niya nag-stay sa amin.

Yung bunso kong kapatid, WFH siya. Tapos yung sumunod sa akin, nag-decide siyang tapusin yung college niya, so nag-aaral pa rin siya.

Nasa bahay din yung kuya kong nag-asawa na't lahat-lahat, pero tamad pa ring magtrabaho. So ayun, umaasa pa rin siya sa bahay, at mag-iisang taon na siyang tambay. Yung asawa niya naman, nasa kabilang rehiyon.

Last few months, naaksidente ako dito sa US. I was the victim. Salamat ulit sa Diyos, hindi naman malubha yung mga natamo kong injuries, pero may malaki akong peklat.

I received a small settlement amount, and I decided na ilaan na lang yun para ipagawa yung bahay namin. Since yun talaga yung pangarap ng mama ko, gusto kong makita niya na maayos na yung bahay namin.

Pero parang nagdadalawang-isip ako dahil sa situation sa bahay.

I know na kapag lumaki yung bahay, mas lalaki rin yung bills. Kaming apat na magkakapatid lang halos yung nagshu-shoulder ng household expenses (kasama yung younger sister ko).

Ako ba yung gago if oobligahan ko na yung mga may asawa kong kapatid na magbigay ng fair share nila sa monthly household budget?

So ABYG dahil gusto kong obligahin yung mga kapatid kong may sariling pamilya na magbigay ng fair share sa monthly expenses, kahit alam kong hindi lahat sa kanila ay financially unstable? Ewan ko, after being in the US, na realized ko rin na parang di parin nila kayang maging independent. Lahat kami adults (25 na ung youngest namin). Pero si ate Emm di pa rin makapag asawa kasi nga siya parin ung breadwinner. Tapos ung mga ate ko sinasabi rin sakin na di pa ako makapag asawa unless napagawa ko ung bahay. Pero bakit ung mga iba kong kapatid nagawa nila noon ung gusto nila sa buhay pero parang pagdating samin wala kaming choice.

Anyway, feeling ko ako yung gago sa scenario na to kasi parang nagiging madamot ako sa sarili kong mga kapatid, At the same time, nahihirapan din akong tanggapin na kaming apat lang halos yung patuloy na sumasalo sa mga gastusin, kahit may sarili nang pamilya yung iba kong kapatid.

INFO / UPDATE: Nakausap ko na po ung mga ate ko sa abroad (note: nasa UAE silang pero in two different countries - lahat po kami independently na nag abroad). Sinabi ko po na need na po namin ire-assess ung situation and nag agreed na lahat kami ay mga adult na at di na rin bumabata. Balak po namin mag held ng family meeting para kausapin sila. With two options: 1. Bibili nalang ng bahay para sa mom ko under may name.

1. Ipaparenovate from scratch ung bahay (dito po kami mas nag LLEAN) - under may name, so ako po ung legal owner. And if ung mga sister ko sa abroad ay ipapafurnished nila ung mga kwarto nila, pede ko silang bigyan ng share sa bahay. Anyway with conditions sa mga titira: (a) Pede silang tumira temporarily as long as they want pero need nilang mag share so total monthly expenses sa bahay (e.g. food, electricity, water, wifi, etc). Ung share nila will be proportion sa kanila salary or how many days in a month sila titira dun (kasi po si ate Jhela may sarili naman po siyang bahay). (b) We will tell them na utang lang po ung gagamitin sa pagpapagawa ng bahay, share share po kami even though ako po magshshoulder ng most expenses sa renovation. (c) Sasabihin namin na gusto ng mag retired ni ate Lhe next year or after magawa ng bahay, para naman makasama niya ung anak niya, kasi ang tagal din na panahon na bread winner. Wala naman akong problem, na magbigay sakanyan kahit konti - pero balak niyang mag business if ever. (d) Sasabihin din po namin na may plano din po kami sa buhay buhay namin, and need din naman makaipon lalo na po si ate Emm na gusto na rin mag settle down. (e) Since lalaki ung bahay, lalaki rin ung utilities, so need talagang mag share share. Hindi naman po lalaki ung bibigay namin sa mama ko.

Any suggestions for other clauses po? Also, question: paano po ba namin immake sure na makakapag bigay sila consistently every month, and if ayaw nilang umalis sa bahay - if ever na miss nila ung certain month, ano po ba pedeng gawin?

abyg kung ayoko magpa-lechon sa debut ko or maghanda…. gets niyo ba ako kasi sayang pera lang naman?? magpapakain ako ng mga kamag-anak na hindi ko naman ka-close, tapos sinisiraan lang naman kami ni mama for sure. buti sana kung sagot nila, pero wdym gagastos ako para sa sarili kong debut tapos for sure hindi ko rin naman maeenjoy yung debut ko 😭

idk tingin niyo ako ang gago sa scenario na ’to kasi baka ako talaga yung problema HAHAHAHAHA baka naman masyado lang akong madamot at selfish kasi debut ko naman daw ’to at minsan lang mag-21, pero bakit parang ako pa yung kailangang gumastos para pakainin yung mga taong hindi ko naman gustong kasama sa celebration ko 😭 like, am i really wrong for wanting to spend my money on something na ako mismo mag-e-enjoy instead of hosting a whole ass handaan for relatives na baka ako pa yung pag-usapan pagkatapos 😞

ABYG dahil ayaw ko magpahanda ?

Context: My coworker is earning 100k+ and was hired as a professional. He is always late sa work, every week may SL/VL (This started from June up till now), does not really do well (as in nastuck sa kanya yung task), bigla bigla mag aabsent kapag nahihirapan na siya sa task nya (ending kami nag aayos ng mga hiccups niya). Napuno lang kasi ako kasi walang ginagawang actions yung team leader namin. Nagsabi na ako sa lead namin na nakakaaffect na yung ginagawa ng kawork namin sa amin pero wala pa din ginagawa kaya inescalate ko na sa mas mataas sa leader namin.

ABYG dahil nireport ko coworker ko?

Originally dayshift ako, dahil nag uupskill ang mga new hires na maging T2. Nilipat kami to cover them. My original duty sana is Monday-Friday 5 am to 2pm. Kaso ngayon naging 10 pm - 7 am na.

For 3 days straight may naka plot na OT sa sched ko. Kanina may OT ako na 30 mins at na comply naman siya. Kaso nilapitan ako ng isang SME na mag OT ako ng 1 hr. Sabi ko nag OOT nako ng 30 mins at yun ung naka plot sa sched ko. Sabi nila na dadagdagan pa nila ng 30 mins daw para makapag 1 hr meal ung mga papasok palang.

Sabi ko nyeta, ginagawan niyo ng paraan na makapag break ang mga kakapasok palang samantalang kami halos 6 hrs derecho na phone time, hinohold niyo kasi bagsak ung line adherence ni isang break di pwede. Kung saan pa out na tska mag ooffer, nalipasan na kami ng gutom.

Ayun na tahimik sila and lumakad palayo sakin.

ABYG dahil sumasagot na ako ngayon? Dah kung ano nakaplot sa sched ko, dapat yun ang sundin ko

I (F21) had best friends since grade 7. We started as duo, hanggang sa naging lima kami. Sobrang close namin sa isa’t isa, almost family na ang turingan. Kaso nung nag first year college, doon ko na naramdaman ‘yung gap. Same lang kami ng uni at noong mga unang buwan lagi pa kaming magkakasama since ‘di pa ganon ka heavy mga workloads, pero habang tumatagal halos ‘di na kami nagkikita and dumadalang na rin kami lumapag sa gc namin.

Kaya noong around March 2025, nagkakaroon na ako ng inner thoughts na baka na a-outgrow na namin ang isa’t isa and maybe it’s time to let go of things. Ilang buwan ko ‘yun pinag-isipan hanggang sa isang araw ng July that same year, I decided to end things with them (over message 🥲). Tapos sumakto pa na that month alis ko ‘yun pa-Manila kasi ever since senior high, gusto ko na doon mag-aral talaga. Hindi lang pinalad kaya I decided mag transfer for sophomore year.

Kaso simula nung araw na ‘yon, hindi nawala ‘yung bigat sa loob ko. Everyday I am mourning the loss of my friends, na kung saan ako rin naman ang may gawa. I miss them everyday and I feel guilty for letting them go like that instead of being honest with them. Pakiramdam ko sobrang unfair ko sa kanila kasi hindi ko man lang sila kinausap muna. Pero I really want our friendship back 🥲

ABYG dahil gusto ko bumalik and mag reconcile with my former friends kahit ako naman ‘yung lumayo?

edit: I posted this at around 2 am and forgot to add the year

Context: I always tell my partner na it starts way before bedroom to set the mood. di pwedeng buong araw tayong di nag papansinan tapos at night biglang nasa mood dapat.

lagi ko sinasabi na if you spent the whole day without even touching me kahit apir man lang, don’t expect me to crave your touch at night.

ganon padin siya, ilang araw na din kami di nag tatabi sa kama. dinadahilan nalang namin parenting para di mag tabi.

then yesterday nag initiate siya tapos nag back out then said na tinatry niya lang naman pero tbh ayaw na din daw niya to do it with me.

when my partner said that, it instantly killed all attraction I have left for my partner.

parang, ok? ayaw mo? ayaw ko na din. I’d 100% take abstinence over isang buong araw walang pansinan tapos mangangalabit ka sa gabi na para bang fubu lang ang datingan.

ABYG dahil baka demanding lang ako, na baka normal yun na kahit di kayo mag pansinan buong araw dapat nasa mood padin?

ABYG dahil ayoko maging primary caregiver ng mama ko, at gusto ko ring magkaroon ng sariling buhay kahit may sakit siya?

I’m 29F, and my mom is 71F with CKD. She’s on dialysis 3x a week and has been admitted 6 times this year. She also needs oxygen at home and has been smoking since she was 14. Ngayon, sobrang lala na ng addiction niya sa sigarilyo.

Anim kaming magkakapatid, pero ako at ang kuya ko lang ang nasa Cebu. The other four are abroad. I’m a VA earning five digits, pero I was also diagnosed with thyroid cancer this year. I’m still recovering and trying to save for my future, kaya hindi ko kayang akuin lahat ng medical expenses niya.

My kuya is her primary caregiver, pero he’s reaching his breaking point. Mahirap na talaga siyang pakisamahan, at minsan kailangan pa siyang pilitin uminom ng gamot o pumunta sa dialysis. Recently, she refused to go to dialysis dahil hindi siya binigyan ng kuya ko ng isa pang sigarilyo. My kuya eventually broke down and left because he couldn’t take it anymore.

What makes things worse is that we practically have to beg our siblings abroad for financial contributions. My kuya is struggling financially too, pero expected pa rin siyang tumulong sa household bills na umaabot ng ₱11,000.

Honestly, gusto ko rin sanang makapag-abroad at matupad ang mga pangarap ko. I’m 29, and I want to experience life, build my future, and have opportunities outside the Philippines. Pero pakiramdam ko, we’re stuck here sa Cebu ng kuya ko dahil kailangan may magbantay kay Mama. It’s painful to feel like our lives are on hold while our other siblings are already abroad building their own lives.

I know my mom is sick and suffering, pero kami rin, especially kaming nandito sa Cebu, have our own struggles. Natatakot akong maging primary caregiver niya because even before she got sick, mahirap na talaga siyang pakisamahan. Ayokong isakripisyo ang health, recovery, financial stability, at future ko hanggang sa ako naman ang tuluyang bumigay.

Sometimes, naiisip ko na lang na sana makapagpahinga na si Mama dahil ang dami na niyang pinagdadaanan, at pagod na rin kaming lahat. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her. I just wish she could finally have some peace and that this exhausting situation would end. Pero nakakaramdam ako ng guilt for even thinking that.

I feel like I might be the gago because I earn relatively well, and my mom is seriously ill, so maybe I should be doing more for her. I feel guilty for wanting to prioritize my own dreams and future when she needs us. At the same time, I feel like I’m reaching my limit, too. I don’t want to abandon her, but I also don’t want to spend the rest of my life putting my own dreams on hold.

ABYG dahil ayoko maging primary caregiver ng mama ko, gusto ko ring makapag-abroad at matupad ang mga pangarap ko, at minsan naiisip kong sana matapos na ang paghihirap naming lahat kahit natatakot ako sa posibleng mangyari sa kanya?

I am almost in my 30s, F. My ex is almost in his 40s, M. Medyo malaki rin ang age gap namin. Abogado ako, working a 9-5 pm, ambisyosa, at sobrang taas ng pangarap sa buhay. I don't want to be filthy rich, but I want to be comfortable man lang. Kapag nagkapamilya ako, hindi ko gusto na bare minimum lang ang maibibigay ko sa magiging mga anak ko. May emergency fund, may sasakyan, kaya silang pag-aralin sa private schools, at may funds para sa mga wants din nila. Ako rin, hindi ko pangarap ang Gucci at Prada pero gusto ko ma-pamper ko naman ang sarili ko. Gusto ko kumportable ang buhay pamilya namin.

'Yung ex ko, nasa creatives ang line of work. Freelance din, hindi regular. Kapag may work, may sahod, kapag wala, wala ring sahod. Kailangan din masipag siya maghanap ng freelance, otherwise, wala siyang trabaho. (Hindi ko na ididisclose kung anong creatives kasi baka may makabasa na kakilala namin.)

Okay naman sana, walang problema kung mag-upskill siya or i-establish niya na business na 'yung ginagawa niya dahil magaling naman siya ginagawa niyang line of creative work. Kaso, paiba-iba rin siya ng gusto. Minsan, gustong mag-video editing business, mamaya gusto naman niyang magka-restaurant business, etc.

As an eldest daughter na lumaki na marunong magplano at gusto ng certainty, ang hirap tanggapin. Siya 'yung tipong kapag tinanong mo ng "how do you see yourself 5 years from now?" wala siyang maisasagot.

Ang masama nito, insecure siya sa career path ko. Minsan magsasalita pa 'yan ng, "Kapag mas malaki na sahod mo, sana huwag mo kong maliitin." Una, siya ang lalaki, papayag siya na ako ang mas malaki sumahod? Paano kapag nabuntis ako? Siya muna ang aasahan ko financially. Pangalawa, fixed na ba 'yung mindset niya na ganoon na lang siya? Freelance forever? Pangatlo, bakit pakiramdam ko nagpproject siya ng insecurity sa akin. Sinabihan niya pa ako na insecure siya kapag may magkakagusto sa akin na ka-line of career ko.

Nakakapagod din maghintay na 'yung lalaki ma-figure out na niya anong gusto niyang gawin sa buhay. Tapos parang kasalanan ko pa na magkaiba ang career namin.

ABYG dahil iniwan ko siya kasi parang wala siyang plano sa career niya at sa insecurities niya?

Ako ba yung gago kung binasag mga trip ng kapamilya ko?

UNA. Yung niece ko, mag 18th birthday sa March 2027. Solo parent si sister (nanay niya). Hindi nanghingi ever ng bonggang party si bagets. Close kami neto, growing up. As in tinatakbo ko sila ng kuya niya kapag may kelangan at libre ako. Pero gusto niya may pa 18 blue bills sa 18th birthday niya. Sabi ko, pass ako. Kasi, para siyang modern day limos.

Niece: Eh para magka pera ako after birthday.
Ako: Ilabas mo mga gamit mo na di mo na ginagamit, i garage sale mo.
Niece: Basta, isasama kita sa list.
Ako: Kung okay sayo ang bill ng tubig, o kaya ₱100, eh di sige isama mo ako.
Niece: Si Tito na lang (asawa ko).
Ako: Same. Pare-pareho kami dito s bahay na ayaw sa ganyan.

PANGALAWA. Kakapanganak lang ng SIL ko (asawa ng bunso kong kapatid). Tumawag nanay ko, bratatatat. Kesyo wala daw dalang utensils yung mag asawa. Puro gamit lang daw nilang pamilya. Scheduled CS naman, etc etc.

Ako: Sino ba namang bisita ang pupunta at dadalaw sa bagong panganak sa ospital at aasang pakakainin sila ng pasyente?! Hindi ba kakapalan ng mukha yon?!

PANGATLO. Yung nanay ko, ang daming side comments tungkol sa hospital of choice ng kapatid at SIL ko. Kesyo hindi nagtanong, palpak yung napili nila, mga ganun.

Ayon. Nasabihan ako ng nanay ko, kapatid ko, at ng pamangkin ko na humanap daw ng pamilyang bago na pwede ko naman basagin. Hahaha. Natatawa lang ako, kasi THREE POINTS talaga ako sa kanila, eh.

ABYG dahil hindi ako pabor sa 18 blue bills na plano ng pamangkin ko, kung sinabihan ko nanay ko na wag na dumagdag sa stress ng kapatid at SIL kong manganganak at kung dinescribe kong makapal ang mukha yung nga dumadalaw sa ospital at umaasang mapapakain pa?

Context: We’re getting married next year. Nag-resign si fiancé sa work niya to focus on his businesses and on our business. Basically, may sarili siyang business and may isa rin kaming business na owned together. So wala na siyang stable income aside from whatever he earns from the businesses. Nakakuha rin siya ng malaking final pay from his previous job.

Our agreement was that he would focus on the businesses while I continue with my stable job. I’ll pay for our condo, while he’ll handle the bills. We also have a car, so we need to budget for gas, and hati rin kami sa groceries.

However, his mom keeps asking him for money, now even of his final pay. Aside from that, may responsibilities din siya like his sibling’s tuition. There are also times when his family asks for money for things like travels and other wants.

At first, I didn’t really mind because he still had a job, even though what he was giving to his family was already more than half of his salary. Ako rin naman may responsibility sa family ko, but mostly Meralco bill lang.

The problem is, the asking for money didn’t stop even after he resigned and became self-employed. And now, we’re getting married and building a life of our own.

Hindi naman sa nagdadamot ako or ayaw kong tumulong sa family niya. I understand that he has responsibilities toward them. But at the same time, we’re also trying to build our own future. We need to save for our wedding, our future home, emergencies, and other expenses. Hindi rin sustainable na ako lang ang may stable source of income, especially since contractual yung isang business namin and yung isa naman hindi araw-araw malakas.

So ngayon, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with how much money is still being given to his family, especially when his income is no longer stable. I feel like we need to prioritize building our own financial foundation first para sa family na bubuuin namin.

I feel so bad na ganto nararamdaman ko toward his family but i cant stop thinking din naman sa buhay na magkakaron kami epecially after the wedding.

So ako ba yung gago if ganto nararamdaman ko?

I (F22) have a boyfriend (M23) na sobrang provider. My friends know this pero I never explicitly flexed kung gaano niya ako i-spoil. Tip of the iceberg lang ang alam nila like hatid sundo, flowers every date, and some of the gifts he gave me. Kung ano lang pinopost ko sa story, yun lang ang alam nila. Nagkukwento man ako sakanila, minimal lang pero never to an extent ng totoo kung gaano mag princess treatment jowa ko.

Now, itong close friend ko, naging bukambibig niya recently. Accidentally niya kasi nakita one time sa notifs ko na nagsesend ng pera jowa ko saakin kapag lalabas ako with friends. Inaasar niya ako na parang sugar daddy daw boyfriend ko eh never ko naman hiningi, sinabi ko sa friend ko na yun love language niya pambawi kapag hindi niya ako nakikita dahil busy siya. Ang naging dating ata sa friend ko eh make a wish jowa ko.

Tuwing may aberya ako sa buhay kahit maliit eh ang reply agad sakin is "Paako mo sa jowa mo" which is off for me kasi bakit sa pananaw niya taga salo dapat ng mga personal problems ko yung jowa ko? Gets ko naman iniisip niya lang siguro reliable boyfriend ko, okay good for us, pero kahapon napigtal na pasenya ko. May hobby kasi ako na hindi ko na ginagawa, itong friend na 'to gusto ng commission. Sabi ko, ikaw bumili ng materials tutal ikaw ang nag request. Ang sabi sakin, "Pabili ka na lang sa jowa mo" sabi ko siya makikinabang bakit jowa ko bibili? Ang reply, "Jowa mo na lang bahala sa lahat hahaha" dun na ako nainis tapos sinabihan ko siya na tigilan niyang i-view jowa ko na parang cash cow o si santa na pwedeng hingian ko lang lahat ng gusto ko porket kayang ibigay. Sinabihan niya rin ako before nung nagkaproblema ako financially sa school na "Hingi ka na lang sa jowa mo". Palagi niya rin nababanggit sasakyan ng jowa ko like pagawa mo na lang sakanya yung ganito ganyan kasi may sasakyan naman siya. Na offend na ako kasi hindi ba dapat ako ang magdedesisyon kung kelan ako hihingi ng favor o tulong sa jowa KO? Naiinis lang ako na she sees my boyfriend this way na dapat taga ako ng lahat nang nangyayari sa buhay ko. Ang reply niya diyan sa sinabi ko eh "OA namanch".

ABYG dahil after ng reply niya eh nag snap at nag long message na ako na hindi ko nagugustuhan yung mga remarks niyang ganyan at naooffend ako na tingin niya okay lang na abusuhin ko generosity ng jowa ko. Sinabihan ko rin siya na kung gusto niya ganun gawin niya sa magiging jowa niya pero wag niyang i-impose saakin. Ngayon nahimasmasan na ako, hindi ko alam kung unreasonable ba ako o nag overreact ako sa nangyari?

So yeah, 2 weeks ago, nagdiscuss kami ng bf ko na we would meet supposedly today on Oct 18 since busy siya sa work sa BPO at busy ako sa exams sa college. And it really seemed like tutuloy kami.. hangaang nalaman ko 4 days ago bigla namatay yung tito ko na mag-isa lang sa bahay.

Since walang pamilya yung tito ko, yung nanay ko (kapatid niya) ang nagaasikaso ng lahat ng paperwork and logistics na kailangan para sa wake, cremation, atbp. And yesterday, nalaman namin na yung isa kong tito, babalik sa manila galing sa probinsya, dala rin yung buong pamilya niya (including his 4 kids na pinsan ko). And since well... my tito and their brother just died and I hardly see my cousins since they live so far away in the province and my mom needs help shopping for snacks for the wake today, nagdecide ako magcancel with my bf, and we thought we'll probably meet next sunday na lang after the wake.

So when I told my bf last night the sudden change of plans, he seemingly accepted that I had cancelled, saying I need to priortize preparing for the wake. We even invited him to join us in shopping para I could see him and my cousins. Pero tinanggi niya kasi pagod siya from work (I was supposed to meet him at his house para he can rest and we dont have to spend money)

Pero kahit "nagaccept" siya, umiba talaga yung mood niya, and it was very hard to ignore. He said he wanted to isolate himself and that he doesnt feel like talking to me much. Then he started talking about how he used to push people away in the past because he focused too much on himself. This only worsened when I described to him the state of which we found my tito's body, then he told me he didnt want to talk about death because it was too much for him to bear (as if it wasnt a lot for me and mom to bear either hahaha). Then next thing I know, he tells me if he doesnt respond to my messages after the wake, it either means

1. He didnt feel like talking

2. He went somewhere far away for a bit

3. We're through. (Pero he proceeded to delete this third part and said not to mind it)

To make things worse, my other tito is very difficult to communicate with and unhelpful with the wake preparations, and now my mom isnt even sure we're still gonna see him, his wife and my cousins. Now I feel like I made a mistake cancelling, pero at the same time, I feel like I should stick to my word to mom and still accompany her shopping for the wake snacks. Keep in mind, my dad is not helping her at all kasi naghiwalay sila noong 2011 kasi he cheated on her with his coworker.

I feel bad for cancelling on my boyfriend kasi we planned this 2 weeks ago but the cancellation happened just the night before. Pero this is a death in my family.... a very sudden one too... I was hoping he'd be a bit more warm and supportive to me in this time of my life. Nagcancel din siya bigla sa akin noong July because he had a sudden job interview on the day he was supposed to watch Spiderman Brand New Day with me and my mom. I took it calmly when he cancelled on me. Idk it's not the same with him... dahil ba kasi neurodivergent siya??? He was diagnosed with autism as a baby and idk if that is a factor... can someone please give me answers

ABYG dahil nagcancel ako ng plans with my bf bigla dahil pinili kong samahin yung nanay ko magprepare para sa wake ng tito ko? (today Im supposed to help shop for the snacks for the wake)

So my boomer parents didn't take care of themselves when they were young. They spent their entire time working since nirereason out nila na malaki daw salary nila that time and need nila mag focus sa work to the point na kahit kaming magkakapatid di nila naalagaan ng maayos at kung kanikaninong relative nalang pinaalaga.

My parents wants my son to always spend weekends sa bahay nila. Ayoko dahil malikot ang anak ko and they cannot handle him. Specially my dad.

May isang incident na nakatambay kame ng anak ko with my dad sa bedroom nila. Pinalitan ko ng diaper anak ko and I told my dad na itatapon ko lang saglit yung diaper. Literally wala pang 3 seconds, my son stood up sa bed and walked papunta sa edge ng kama. All my dad could do was shout and he literally froze kahit nasa harap lang niya anak ko. Nakatanga lang siya at ang first instinct is to call my mom which is nasa sala that time. Ang malupit dun, sinisi nya pa yung toddler ko dahil makulit daw masyado and di ko daw tinuturuan ng maayos (my toddler is 23 months btw). Sinagot ko nalang at sabi ko, "Pa, mag exercise kayo para kaya mo gumalaw at ihandle apo mo. Kahit anong gawin natin, tatakbo at mag lalaro to".

All it takes is literally one accident. One moment that might change my son's life and I am afraid na yun pa yung wala ako sa tabi nya.

It's just that now na tatay na ko, mas lalo ko nakikita and narerealize kung gano sila ka shitty as a parent. Specially sa mga na exp ko sa kanila. Heck, I am literally trying to find the smallest time of my day so I can exercise and lose fat just so I can keep up with my son and help my wife. And syempre kapag may emergency, di ako liability. Ako pa yung nagiging masama sa mga kwentuhan nila ng mga tito tita ko sa mga GCs nila. Hindi niya maisip yung reason na dahil sa kung ano ano pinag kakaen nya nung kabataan nya at hindi nag exercise nung tumatanda sya kaya di ko mapag katiwala sa kanya yung son ko.

I am not doing this out of revenge or what. I am literally scared sa wellfare ng anak ko and I cannot find yung peace of mind kapag iniwan ko siya sa kanila. God forbid na ma experience din ng anak ko na maiwan sa SM dahil nakalimutan ng POS dad ko na kasama pala nila siya(based on my exp haha!).

ABYG dahil parang dinedeprive ko yung magulang ko sa apo nila?

I (24F) bought my own car last March this year as a birthday gift to myself, and partly para may magamit din parents ko. I’ve been freelancing for almost five years now, so I had enough savings for the down payment, and I handle the monthly amortization completely on my own. Mind you, I am literally paying for everything: the downpayment, the monthly payments, the PMS and maintenance, and even the gas. Two years ago, I got my driver’s license back when I was still using a motorcycle. However, around November last year, na-aksidente ako sa motor. It wasn’t even my fault; another rider suddenly overtook blindly and crashed into me, which landed me in the hospital.

Fast forward to when I got the car: hindi ko siya masyadong nagagamit at first because I’m finishing college in another city. Naturally, the car stayed behind sa province namin, and my parents used it daily. I honestly didn't mind at the time. Kaysa naman nakatambak lang at nasasayang while I’m paying for it every single month, better na napapakinabangan nila.

The issue started last week when I went home for a break. During my entire stay, I couldn't even touch the steering wheel. Ayaw na ayaw akong payagan ni Mama with lines like, "Baka maaksidente ka ulit," and "Mas malaki magagastos mo kapag nakabunggo ka or may bumunggo sayo." I completely understand where she is coming from because she has terrible anxiety, and seeing your child in the hospital leaves real trauma. Pero umabot na sa point na napipikon na talaga ako. Kaya nga ako nagsumikap bumili ng sariling sasakyan para convenient at hindi na ako mahassle sa commute every time aalis ako. What did I work so hard and pay all that money for if I’m not even allowed to drive it? Am I supposed to just sit back and commute while my license expires and my car sits in our garage? Whenever I need to go somewhere, her condition is either she comes along so she drives, or I don't go at all. Contrast that with my dad, who actually trusts me and lets me drive all the way from our province to Manila whenever we travel together.

Everything boiled over earlier today. I told her I was going to take the car out alone to pick up my girlfriend, and she immediately blew up. Galit na galit siya and flat-out told me na hindi ko raw pwedeng gamitin mag-isa kasi hindi pa raw ako marunong. That was my breaking point. I lashed out and lost my temper. I mean, seriously? How will I ever gain road experience if she treats me like a liability in a vehicle, I literally shoulder every single centavo for? I know how to handle the wheel, I drive carefully, and my dad has supervised me multiple times without any issues. Projecting her unresolved fears onto me is basically holding my own independence hostage while I foot the bill for their convenience.

I feel guilty for raising my voice at my mom knowing she's just anxious, but at the same time, I feel utterly disrespected and suffocated.

ABYG dahil nafrustrate ako sa mom ko for not letting me use my OWN CAR that I’m paying for monthly?

I've always had an "accent" ever since I was a kid. I grew up in the US so my pronunciation is more americanized than the common filipino. Sanay naman ako mag-tagalog, in fact, I speak 4 languages. Filipino (Tagalog), English, Spanish and French.

As a polyglot, my accent also changes whenever I switch from one language to another kasi iba-iba yung saturation ng pronunciation nila.

So ayon, I was in Dubai at that time, I ordered some food from a restaurant and apparently, pinoy yung cashier. Sigh of relief.

Sabi ko, "Uyy kabayan! Pa-order naman ako", but she insisted na mag-english daw ako kasi baka daw marinig ng manager nya.

Naintindihan ko naman yung situation nya so nag-switch ako sa english. Maya-maya, while speaking my order, napansin ko, parang pinagtatawanan nya yung pagsasalita ko na parang mina-mock ako (like inuulit nya pero mas maarte, with certain body movements) and tawa ng tawa yung isang pinoy sa likod nya. Hindi naman ako maarte magsalita, I was very polite, enthusiatic and respectful.

I shrugged it off, pero when she served my order, inulit nya yung sinabi ko tapos tawa sya nang tawa.

So sabi ko, "Is there a problem here? Are you mocking me?" Tinaasan ko talaga boses ko kasi sobrang naiinsulto ako. Call me an asshole pero tangina sana inilulugar nyo yung humor nyo.

Tapos tumingin ako sa manager nya, and she looked at me as well kase sa itsura ko non, isang maling response nya maglilitanya na ako. The mood flipped and she said "sorry, ma'am." pero may snicker under her breath.

I complained to their manager regarding their employee's behavior. At that point, wala na akong pake kung kabayan ko man yan o hindi. I don't tolerate insults.

My sister called me out and said na sana hinayaan ko nalang and it's not worth it to get their job dismissed from a simple thing like that. Malay ko daw ba kung may pamilya silang binubuhay at konti lang naman ang sahod ng mga nasa ganon. Sana hinayaan ko nalang daw.

ABYG dahil nag-taray ako pagkatapos nila pagtawanan yung accent ko? (and possibly get dimissed)?

As you can see, Friday night na. Tinapos ko na lahat ng pinagagawa. And yet, biglang andaming sudden requests and ora-orada nila need.

As someone na nagse-set ng boundaries, andito na ko nagne-netflix and chill tapos di ko sinasagot. Kasi naman ang haba ng araw diba. Saka di pwede na mag-uutos tapos need agad ng outcome today. Like di naman ako manager na on-call. Hahaha. Gusto nila ng urgent action pero hindi naman siya life and death type of urgency.

I feel like GG ako kasi ayun ine-expect sakin ng manager to “move-up”. Kaso ayun na yung ginagawa ko throughout the years and wala naman akong napapala hahaha. So bakit ko pa siya gagawin? Ayoko maging bayani masyado.

ABYG dahil Im ignoring those requests at this hour wherein need nila ng action ko?

May concert kami na gustong puntahan, and nagsabi naman na kami na pupunta kame early this year. Kaso a few months before the concert, may mga naging financial problems kami pareho at separately, so sinabi ko sa kanya na hindi siguro ako makakapunta. Sabi niya rin nakapagpahiram siya ng significant amount ng pera sa classmate namin dati and hindi nga siya nabayaran for it, kaya sabi niya sakin hindi na rin daw siya pupunta. Day of the concert, nagvideo call pa siya sakin to make sure if di na talaga ako pupunta, sabi ko hindi na. Ayoko naman kasi umutang para sa concert, gusto ko extra money ko talaga. Tapos kanina sa FB and ig stories nakita ko na pumunta pala siya. Wala nalungkot lang ako and nagtampo slight pero anyway pera niya naman yun ok lang off my chest na lang siguro to hahaha 🥹 Baka ako nga yung gago kase petty thing lang ba dapat yon?

ABYG dahil ayoko makipag-usap sa bestfriend ko dahil pumunta siya sa concert even though she told me di siya pupunta?

Talking stage kami for mga 1.5 months. May ilang times na rin na nagexpress ako na parang ayaw ko na but he doubles down on lambing when I pull back. Super busy nya kasi as in sa 1.5mos na yan twice lang kami nagkita, yung first pa parang more than an hour lang kami magkasama. Gets ko na may work sya pero I told him na I was looking for someone I can spend time with since kwarentahin na ako.

One time we had a disagreement tapos he disappeared for 2 days wala message at all. So I posted sa isang dating sub dito and went out for coffee with someone else. I didn't seek "closure" kasi nga hindi naman kami. E friends kami sa fb and he saw yung myday ko with the guy. A few hours later inaaway na nya ko sa chat kasi ambalis ko saw sya pinalitan. Sabi ko you ghosted me did you expect me to wait around for someone who isn't even my boyfriend? Sabi nya he just needed time to think after nung conflict namin. 2 days lang naman daw sya nawala 🤡 Sabi ko nagmessage pa ko hindi ka nagrireply e di sana sinabi mo yun you could've used your words hindi yung paghuhulain mo ko at gusto mo pa yata suyuin kita.

He already blocked me and I'm sad kasi pinaampon ko isang pup ko sa kanya and hindi na ko makakahingi ng updates 😭😭😭

ABYG dahil nakipagdate ako agad sa iba nung nawala yung katalking stage ko? Tingin ko gago ako kasi dapat nagsend ako ng goodbye message but it seemed stupid at the time kasi hindi naman nga naging kami. Hindi ba dapat ako nakipagdate sa iba nung nawala sya?

So eto na nga, im a very empath person kasi kung kelangan mo ng makikinig sayo, may problema ka, ako un friend mo na one chat away pero nakakapagod pala maging ganon?

Strongest soldier ako ni lord sa family and work so sympre gusto ko din naman may kwentuhan ng mga rants ko kahit papano. Pero this past few years kasi pansin ko na un bestfriend ko madalas hindi nagcchat or nagpaparamdam kapag ako un nagcchat about sa rants/problem ko pero kapag sya un nagcchat nagrereply ako kagad kasi gusto ko sya damayan.

Pero lately kasi sobrang daming ko din stress sa fam and work ko na pinili ko nalang di ishare sakanya kasi I feel so invalidated kapag rereplyan ako after 2weeks pero nagagawa magstory tas feeling pa nya flex yon ginagawa nya.

Anyways sya naman un stress sa work nya ngayon and idk wala nakong gana damayan or makinig sa rants nya kasi naaalala lang nya ako ichat kapag sya un may rant/problem pero kapag ako un may rant, wala antay ako ng min. 1week bago mareplyan.

And diko din 'to inoopen up sakanya kasi feeling ko mahuhurt sya kapag sinabi ko na ganto nafefeel ko sakanya.

ABYG dahil binabalik ko yun same treatment na binibigay nya saken and feeling ko nagwowonder sya bakit di nako nagrereply kagad kapag may rant or problem sya?

meron akong(30M) katrabahong babae(28F). last week nagusap kame na magkikita dahil ibabalik nya ung hiniram nyang usb galing saken. bale ang napagkasunduan pupunta ako ng apartment nila para daanan ung usb tapos dederecho ako ng supermarket kase along the way naman. nag settle kame ng 12pm. Kinabukasan umalis ako ng bahay around 11:45 para sakto lang ng tanghali pag dating sa kanila. nakarating ako ng 12:05 nagmessage ako sa kanya, walang reply. lumipas 15 mins, nagmessage ulit ako, kung kakagising lang ba nya. nagreply sya, wala daw sya sa apartment, ang nangyare pala sinundo sya ng "cuddle buddy" nya nung kinagabihan at dun nakatulog sa kanila tapos nagalmusal daw sila currently. sabi ko sige next time na lang ako makikipagkita (though gusto ko sana makuha ung usb ko kasi gagamitin ko). nagmessage sya na antayin ko daw sya 10mins. around 12:30 na ng oras na to so mga 12:45 na sya makakauwi if ever. naisip ko since nagantay naman na ako, mainam na makuha ko na lang ung usb para di sayang. so dumating na sya nakapantulog pa. pinapasok ako sa apartment. dahil madaling madali na ako hiningi ko na ung usb ko, pero for some reason pinapagstay nya ako, maliligo lang daw sya at sabay na raw kaming umalis. dahil mejo naiinis na ako at isang oras ung nawala saken nagdemand ako na hingiin na ung usb ko at umalis na. nung magkita kami sa trabaho nagsabi sya saken na nagtampi raw sya at di ko sya inantay pero sa loob loob ko ikaw nagsayang ng isang oras ko tapos nakuha mo pa magtampo. ABYG dahil di ko sya inantay?