Having a psychology degree doesn't automatically mean you understand trauma, neurodivergence, queer relationships, or kink. I wish we were more comfortable admitting that competence has limits.

I've been thinking for a long time about whether I should even write this. I don't know who this text is addressed to or what I'm expecting from the people who read it. But I guess at some point you have to stop trying to deal with everything on your own and at least tell people what's actually going on.

I'm 40 years old. I'm from Russia, and I currently live in Argentina. I ended up here as a refugee because of my LGBT identity. I used to have a life of my own. Now, practically nothing of it remains.

My mother and younger brother have turned their backs on me. My middle brother has been at war since the first day of the war. I don't know what will happen to him, and I can't just go and be there with him. I'm in another country where I have almost no one.

I spent three years in a toxic relationship. It's both funny and sad that, at the end of that relationship, my partner told me outright: "You have to pay for having beauty by your side." Yes, yes, literally. You live with someone, you think it's a family. But in reality, it's a commercial transaction.

Over the past few years, I seem to have lost everything: my relationship, my home, my familiar surroundings, and the ability to feel like a person who has at least something to rely on. I have depression. Recently, I spent three weeks in a psychiatric hospital. I'm very grateful to the doctors who treated me. No, not just the doctors, but the entire hospital staff. It helped me recover physically to some extent, but after being discharged, I returned to the same reality that was still there.

I don't have a permanent place to live or a job. I have no money. Sometimes the problem isn't that I can't afford something nice, but that I don't know how to provide myself with the bare necessities. Right now, I'm writing this post from a hostel, but tomorrow, most likely, I'll have to spend another night on a park bench, trying not to fall asleep.

Recently, I lost my phone. For some people, that's an inconvenience that can be solved by buying a new one. For me, it's another loss of a part of my independence. I found myself in an unfamiliar city where even the simple ability to open a map and figure out where to go matters.

I could go on listing all of this endlessly. But the point isn't even how many problems there are.

The strangest thing is that I've even stopped feeling alive.
I see people meeting up, talking, going home, spending time together. They have their groups of friends, families, familiar places. Even people who have ended up on the streets sometimes have acquaintances they stick together with.

And I walk the same streets and feel as though I shouldn't even be here.

Not in the sense that the people around me hate me or drive me away. No, sometimes someone will even smile politely. But I look at them and don't understand how to return to a world I was once a part of.

I've developed a very strange feeling that's hard to explain to someone who hasn't been through anything like this. It's as if my life has already ended, the book has been closed, and yet, for some reason, I keep walking the streets, talking to people, paying for a hostel, trying to do things. Physically, I'm here, but inside, everything feels as though the most important part is already behind me and no continuation is planned.

It's as if I'm not there, even though I exist.

I understand that this may be related to my depression. I'm not claiming that what I feel actually reflects reality. But understanding that doesn't make the feeling go away.

And the hardest part is that I can't simply resolve a few everyday issues and expect everything to pass afterward. I need a job, I need housing, I need to learn Spanish. All of that is obvious. But I no longer understand how solving these tasks is supposed to lead to a life in which there's a place for me again.

I'm trying to keep working on my creative project — creating illustrations, coming up with scenes, building my own fictional world. Sometimes, while I'm working, I get some sense of meaning. But then I finish the work, publish the result, close the computer — and return to the same place I was in before.

I'm no longer even sure why I keep working on this project. Maybe because it's one of the few things I still have. Maybe because I'm still trying to create something, even though I have absolutely no idea what's happening to my own life.

I've already reached out to people for help. Recently, I wrote a post in a local Córdoba community and honestly described my situation. People responded. Someone offered to help with food, someone messaged me privately, someone shared information about Spanish courses.

I'm grateful to them. I don't consider these responses insignificant. On the contrary, they reminded me that strangers are capable of showing concern.

But I also realized how difficult it is for me to explain just how deep things have gone. From the outside, my situation may look like the temporary difficulties of an immigrant who needs to find housing, a job, and learn the language. And all of that really is necessary. It's just that inside, I'm going through something much more complicated than a set of problems that can be solved one by one.

I don't know how to talk about this without turning my own life into a performance. I don't want to beg for pity, and I don't want to pretend that I have strength and confidence that I don't actually have.

I'm just trying to find some kind of point of connection with the world.
I really want to find myself among people again, people I can talk to, do things with, and gradually get to know.

I don't know exactly what I'm expecting from this post. Maybe nothing will happen. I understand that thousands of people share their stories on the internet every day, and mine isn't necessarily going to interest anyone.

But I decided to write it because I no longer want my drawings and messages saying that I need help to be the only evidence that I exist.

There's me behind all of this. A person who ended up in another country, lost almost all of his familiar connections, and is now trying to figure out how to keep living when his old life has been destroyed and a new one just isn't coming together.

I don't know how to get out of this state. I don't know where to find people who could become part of my life, or how to become part of someone else's life again.

I'm not promising that I'll fix everything soon. I can't say that this post is the beginning of my great comeback. I don't even know whether this story will have a continuation that I can imagine right now.

But I'm here. And I'm writing this.

Hi!

I'm starting an LGBTQ+ magazine at my school, and I am looking for queer teens and adults willing to share their experiences to help others better understand our community and help me make a difference at my school. The description of your queer experience can be around 250-1000 words, and it is always anonymous.

Your experiences matter, whether they are inspirational or ordinary, frustrating or painful; it is time to let others see a more real side of us, so they can truly and effectively stand in our perspective and understand empathetically. It also builds a stronger connection among us, supporting the youthful LGBTQ+ community.

Please let me know by commenting below if you are eager to share

Here is the link to the Google Form; please fill it out if you are interested: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSduKIuAsSDtFz8BQjESsnbjU_BvStqameN0G7Vepw0qFRNDJw/viewform?usp=header

Hello Reddit! I know that this is probably a dumb question, but I'm still exploring my sexuality and as of now I am still very confused. Is it possible to want to be queer, and not be?
Like, I want to be in a wlw relationship. I want to have the same feelings with women as I get with guys. But it's a different feeling, and I'm starting to wonder if I'm gaslighting myself or something. Help!!!

I'm not in a relationship and I've never had a boyfriend before, but I lost my virginity last year and I still talk to the guy that took my virginity. He's 14 years older than me, and on text messages, I call him daddy, but not even in a joking way, but in a genuinely, I wanna be submissive to him way.

But it got me thinking, would any of you older men feel the ick if a guy did that to you ? I've always wanted to be submissive to an older man, and I know that lots of guys call their older partner daddy as a joke... but I be real serious about it too. Like idk. I like calling older men that because I want him to know that he controls me in the situation. But... how do the rest of you feel about it ?

I’m torn, need a consensus to break the tie.

And yes even if you thought they were both ugly, which one would you pick if it depended on your life. LOL.

So, this is hard to write, but I have to vent and kind of just get some advice.

I (18M) am part of a group of seven people, but there's this guy... let's call him Noah. Noah (18M) and I had an instant click. It was like we were meant to know each other. We have known each other for eight years or so, and I can assure you that we're what a lot of people would call soulmates. Looking at each other, is enough to understand what we think and what we want.

I have always been the stereotypical straight guy: Tall, muscular, a football player, barely passing my exams, cocky, you know. He was always... softer. He has always been short, skinny, blonde, soft, and I'm sure I could describe even the smallest freckles of his face.

He came out when he was 14, and he is quite proud of the fact that he's gay. But me? I never came out. I guess my exgirlfriends kinda thought about it, since not even once did I get hard with any of them.

So, with all the context being said, two weeks ago we were at a party. He never drinks, he is always sober no matter why, but me? I could have finished a whole vodka myself, but that night... I was just a bit tipsy.

While we were talking, he whispered a question:
"Can we go outside please?"
How could I say no to those blue oceans staring at me with that puppy-like gaze?

When we were outside, we just standed near the host's lemon tree. We talked for what felt like hours about how everyone was wasted except us, and how weird it was that I wasn't already asleep in my car.

One touch of my arm initiated a spark in my veins that made me realize that he was actually trying to get closer. I wouldn't stop him, ever. When we both started to fall into realization, we were already making out. He softly hummed and in that same moment, i realized I had to do something.

We went to my car, and all I'll say is that I treated his body with all the softness he deserves. I was slow, I didn't try to hurry up, I wasn't chasing my own pleasure... I was just making sure he was happy with what I could do.

After it, we cuddled and kissed in the backseat. The aftercare lasted around an hour, when we decided it was late enough to get home.I drove him to his place, and he kissed me goodbye.

And now, he won't even look at me. I try to talk, but he always manages to ignore me, and I try to understand if I did something wrong, but I swear i replay it all the time and still can't find any problem.

I have been looking at videos of guys similar enough to him, trying to get off with them... but I can't even get close without him.

I need advice, I really want him to talk to me, does anyone know what to do? Has this happened to any of y'all before?

I was looking for customized LGBTQ cups but they are damn expensive. So, I’m looking into importing single wall double wall paper cups with customized LGBTQ designs (rainbow + specific flags) and selling them at no profit, no loss, basically covering only the actual cost of manufacturing, shipping, and fees.

The idea is to make them available for cafes, events, or individuals without the usual rainbow-washing markup.Before I put time and money into this, I’d like honest feedback:

Would “sold at cost” make you more likely to support or buy them?

Any designs or approaches that would make this feel more genuine vs. still performative?

Any concerns I should know about?

Not selling anything right now, just trying to understand if this approach is worth pursuing. Appreciate any real thoughts

Estaba tranquilamente scrolleando en Tiktok cuando me llega un mensaje de mi ex pareja, mi contacto le había aparecido en sugerencias, lo raro es que yo nunca le dí permisos a la aplicación para que lea esos datos de mi, ella simplemente me habló para denigrarme y decirme que era un "Sidoso de mierda" y que por sidoso moriría solo, es una mierda que la gente no tenga un puto límite a la hora de dejar en paz a otras personas, obviamente le denuncie los mensajes y en Tiktok solo le deshabilitaron los mensajes directos, por usar el VIH como insulto...

Hello! Hoping to maybe get some traction on this petition started by a member of our local Victoria BC community!

**Trigger warning for the petition and the linked substack, the posts are hard to read, please look after yourselves ❤️

We recently had a municipal election in which Wendy Bowkett was elected to Victoria City Council. Wendy denied that she made horrific transphobic and racist posts throughout her campaign, refusing to address them in any formal way. She attempted to wipe her Twitter of her problematic posts, however screenshots were already taken and the ones she missed have been being archived.

Victoria BC has the highest number of Trans/Non Binary residents in Canada. This is clearly something that feels both unacceptable and dangerous for our local community.

Please sign if you have a moment!

https://www.change.org/p/wendy-bowkett-should-resign