I have never been to an American wedding before. I (female) am going as my boyfriend’s plus one to a wedding he was invited to. It is an evening event and the dress code is Black Tie, so I am working mindfully to match the dress code. What other etiquette should I keep in mind? Should I offer to split on the gift? Are there any other details I should pay attention to?

my husband and I got married over the weekend and the moment I woke up the next day, I felt extremely anxious about how the day went. the weather was overall gorgeous, I was obsessed with our venue, and I felt like a princess. but, the day was way too intense for me, it was very rushed and went by extremely fast, which a lot of people warned me would happen. I didn’t get many photos with my husband’s parents or my brothers, my mom said she didn’t get any photos with her and my dad, people kept asking me questions all day, and whenever things went south (which a lot did, unfortunately) it was my job to try to correct it even though my brain was fried at that point.
idk I’m very grateful to have married the life of my life and everyone keeps telling me how much fun they had, but I wish I could have enjoyed myself more. I hardly ate anything because I was so nervous and all over the place all day, which I’m very upset about because the food was some of the best I’ve ever tasted (we did take home some leftovers though, thankfully). there’s so much I wish I did differently but I was so overwhelmed in the moment, I forgot a lot of the ideas I had, and I wish the people in my life would have stepped up to help me with the logistics more.
I’m having such a hard time calming down and finally taking the time to relax after my wedding day, did anyone else feel this way about their wedding?

Okay, apparently our entire friend group decided this was the year to get married, because we have six weddings between now and November, all with pretty much the same people. My partner has already joked that everyone will recognize my navy midi in every group photo lol.

I'm trying to put together a rotation of 3 or 4 dresses that look different enough in the photos without blowing my budget, and the dress codes range from garden party to almost black tie, so I'm not even sure where to start. Which fall wedding guest dress brands are you guys buying from that look good in photos without costing designer prices?? I could really use some help!

Hi all,

Would love some advice on an appropriate dress code for my wedding next year. The service is at a historic, pretty enormous church in Manhattan, and for the reception, we’ve done a buyout of a high-end piano bar/supper club downtown. There will be a seated four-course meal, premium open bar, waiter-passed canapés, a caviar station, a raw bar, champagne towers and a live band.

I had my heart set on black tie, but perusing this sub has shown me that BT may not be appropriate as our service is mid-afternoon, and then we have a Catholic gap. Would black tie optional or formal be more appropriate?

TIA!

💍🤍 LOOKING FOR A BUDGET-FRIENDLY WEDDING VENUE IN ADELAIDE 🤍💍
Hi everyone! 😊 My partner and I are planning our special day and looking for affordable wedding venue recommendations in Adelaide or within an hour’s drive.
Our total budget is around $5,000, and we’re hoping to find somewhere beautiful, intimate and relaxed for 40 guests or less.
✨ Ideally, we’re looking for a venue that offers:
🤍 Ceremony space
🥂 Reception area with BYO options
🍽️ Food and drinks, or affordable catering options
🪑 Chairs and tables included
🌸 Flowers or basic wedding decorations included
🌿 A pretty garden, backyard, outdoor space or private property would be amazing!
We’re open to hidden gems, private properties, garden venues, affordable packages or any recommendations that could help us stay within budget.
If you know of any venues, businesses or affordable wedding packages, please comment below or send me a message. Photos, prices and recommendations would be greatly appreciated! 🥹🤍
Thank you so much for helping us make our special day beautiful without breaking the bank! 💕💍
Please share

I am the maid of honor for my friend who is also an expecting mother. They found out she was pregnant 7 weeks pregnant a month after the engagement, and the baby will be 3 months old when they have their wedding. She was my maid of honor when I got married and got me such elaborate and thoughtful gifts, and I want to do the same. Does anyone have any advice on a gift I can give her?

Hello everyone! Hope your wedding plans are going well! I had a question for my brides and grooms. What could I get my husband on our wedding day that he’d actually like. He’s not big on watches or toiletry bags or any of that sort of thing. He’s more of a board gamer and a Nintendo guy who also enjoys reading. I was just curious because I’ve seen a lot about boudoirs but I’ve heard mixed reviews on whether men actually enjoy them past the wedding day or not. I already got him a pack of undies but debating on giving that to him for Christmas instead or something (our wedding is within the same week). I’m just freaking because I have less than 2 months to figure it out. Thanks all!

Some infos first: I love in Germany and some stuff around weddings and Witnesses (MoH and BM in US) is a bit different. You get married twice: legally first and then in a church or another ceremony if you wish. As a Couple, you usually have 2 witnesses, gender doesnt matter and if you want to they don't have to be the same for the legal and church wedding.

We decided to each pick one for each ceremony and if we choose one for each still invite both (anf their +1/families) to the legal wedding which we will keep at immediate family and witnesses only and then also have the other one in the larger wedding party for the church wedding (as bridesmaids/groomsmen)

I am very torn on who to choose. I like the idea of having one for each but even with two people I am stuck.

Here are the options (all names are made up, its just easier to read that way):

1. James: I worked with him and he lived with my fiancé in college, thats how we met
2. Joanne/Leah: My sisters
3. Emma: My cousin.
4. Hedwig: My aunt (only about 10 years older)

James will probably be set as one witness/man of honour if I choose to have two. I like the idea of balancing family with a friend and although he is closer to my fiancé than to me, he is sort of our origin story.

I love my sisters a lot, but I can't choose between them. If I choose one I know that the other one will be understanding, but also a bit hurt. So its either one for each ceremony or both are "just" bridesmaids.

Emma and Hedwig both live in the same city as I do. We all decided to move here independently within the last 5 years, they are not mother and daughter. Emma and I were very close until I was about 20, then lost touch apart from family events. We have been closer since I moved here and she would be the obvious choice. But she is also very busy and has a young son with mental health issues so I honestly don't know if I would be doing her a favour by choosing her because it would stress her and she wouldn't feel as free to leave during the ceremony if she had to.

Which brings us to Hedwig. For the first few years after she married my uncle, we didn't really get along that well. There were never any issues, but we are just very different people and took time to become closer. By now though, we often show up at her house unannounced and I have really grown to appreciate her. We are not as close emotionally as I am with my cousin or sisters, she has her flaws and is very very different from the rest of my family but I know 100% that if I ever need anything I can just ring her doorbell. The problem is that my parents don't get along with her. There is no open drama or anything, but they are both very close with my uncle's first wife and still live next door to her and they never got over their differences. I also know that I want to invite my uncle's first wife to the big ceremony and while I know that that won't cause any fights or open drama, I don't know if I want that tension at the wedding.

Without those Issues I would 100% choose James and Hedwig. Not just because they are important to me, but also because they are like the past and future companions of me and my fiancé. The one that brought us together and the one that we now celebrate all out milestones with. And on a plus side I also know that she would just throw everything she has at planning the wedding and coordinating everything we may need on the day (which may just add to the tension if my mum is emotional on the day and she is always around).

Not choosing her and going with James and Emma instead would be the safest option. My sisters would be happy as bridesmaids and Hedwig would never expect to be MoH anyway and still help because she loves to organise things.

So do I go with the safe option or not?

Edit: I always just say "Hedwig's door", because my uncle is usually working when we show up unannounced

Hello, first time posting here, looking for some advice and opinions about this.

We are planning a small to medium wedding, about 50 to 70 people, most of whom will be our friends.

I have complicated feelings regarding certain aspects of the wedding, namely that my mother died two years ago and that my "remaining family" guest list is literally just my brother and his girlfriend. I have no paternal side because he left when we were babies, and my maternal side had all been cut off by my mom because of how toxic they were, and I really don’t have a relationship with them anymore (and don’t care to).

My fiancé has a slightly bigger, average family, both parents and a couple of siblings and cousins he wants to invite (and their plus-ones, maybe kids too). I have no issue with that.

His relationship with his family is also a bit complicated though, but he does have one which is more than I can say for the most part.

However, his family has been known to cause drama at events like birthdays and graduations, and over the course of our 10 years together, I have seen him cry and complain on numerous occasions about the reality of his family members not really being able to put themselves together for special days, and not being there for him and each other the way he wishes they would.

For these reasons, I envisioned a wedding weekend more focused on our friends and people of our generation, and the feel of a fun younger crowd : cocktails instead of wine, a free-flowing buffet instead of a sit-down 3 course meal, fun activities, and ditching a few traditions like a church ceremony for example. He agrees with everything except that he seems to care a lot about having his family by his side and at a central point in the wedding.

For instance, he would want his family front row at the ceremony, and for them to sit with us at the dinner table, to sleep over in the rooms provided by the venue the whole weekend, or to help him prepare his outfit the morning of.

My personal fear is, not only would I feel outnumbered in some way, but with such a huge focus on family, I feel like it would only highlight the absence of mine. I would struggle with the weight of my mom not being there anyway, bit it feels worse in this scenario somehow. I already saw the look in my best friend’s eyes when we buried my mom, when she realized we weren’t exaggerating when we said there ́d be 5 people at the funeral. I really don’t want to see this look that much on the day I get married.

I ́ve cried so much already just at the thought of how little family will be there for me.

I am on good terms with my brother, but he ́s not comfortable in public settings, and has expressed hesitation on doing a speech, being part of the wedding party (like walking me down the aisle), or generally taking up a lot of space on that day, which I respect. I am okay with him wanting to help more behind the scenes and not really liking to receive too much attention.

If it was just this, I would probably just suck it up and not make a fuss about my own insecurity, and try to work through my grief in therapy to help me prepare emotionally for the big day.

But there ́s also the reality of how his family can behave in these events, and I feel like he imagines a perfect day with his perfect family that doesn’t exist, instead of relying on past experiences to anticipate their behavior and just them being themselves.

I can’t help but worry that having a family-centered wedding would bring up unnecessary stress and drama, and end up disappointing and hurting him, in addition to triggering my own grief-related feelings.

I should say, we have a bunch of amazing friends, some of them will be officiating our ceremony, and I trust them all way more with any responsibility in the wedding.

So basically, am I in the wrong for wanting this wedding to feel more like a big party with all our friends, instead of a family dinner with extras in the background ?

How can I ensure we make these decisions thoughtfully and without erasing anyone ́s feelings in the process ? Are there any limited yet important roles we could give his family members instead, where drama is less likely to occur ?

Thank you to all who will take the time to respond.

Curious how everyone handles the thousands of photos they receive after their wedding.

Between photographer galleries, family photos, duplicates, and trying to pick the best pictures, creating an actual wedding album seems like a huge task.

A few things I'm curious about:

1. How many photos did you receive from your photographer?
2. Did you ever make a physical wedding album, or are your photos still sitting in a Google Drive or online gallery?
3. If you made one, did you do it yourself or have your photographer handle it?
4. What was the most frustrating or time-consuming part of the process?

Would love to hear how people actually deal with this, especially those who got married a year or two ago.

My fiance and I want to have “Into My Arms” by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds as the song for our first dance but we have two concerns.

1. This song is long as fuck. Do we cut it short? Pick a different song? Say “fuck it it’s not like these people got anything better to do for 5 minutes”?

2. This song is such a difficult tempo to do any dance we know to. We try to Foxtrot, Waltz, Hustle, Bachata. Any suggestions for dances to do with it?

Designed a custom interactive website for a 2-day hotel wedding (with multiple events in animated arch cards each with add to calender and show route button ). Would love to know what features couples find most useful! please let me know what couId i add more in such invitations so it will become more functional and eyecatching.

Hello! Can you recommend aesthetic restos for a very intimate reception around Antipolo or Marikina. Like Tahanan Bistro or Burrow. We also like ac room kasi were both pawisin. 😅🙏 Thank you!

My fiance and I got engaged in Hawaii a few months ago. After, we were talking about where to have our wedding (we want a micro destination wedding), and he is set on Hawaii, where we got engaged.

Now, I obviously love Hawaii. Its beautiful and it is the one place that means something to us. But..it is honestly not where I can picture my dream wedding.

My dream wedding is dark romance, castles, victorian mansion type vibes. I want our wedding photos to have a moody, Gothic vibe with a castle/mansion in the background. I have always loved that type of vibe.

I brought this up to my fiance, and he said it was fine, he just doesnt know where to look.

After our trip in Hawaii, we started looking at places that have this type of vibe, and we started looking at photographers who can do that moody/gothic look. I was in love with this and this is what I could picture for us.

The issue was finding a place, and not knowing if we would actually like it or not. I did find a few places. One that I actually really love. But we've never been to that state, dont know the surrounding areas, etc.

So after a few weeks of looking I told my fiance we should just have it in Hawaii. We already know the area. We Know activities to do with our small list of guests. But....its just not my dream vision. My fiance was super happy that I agreed on Hawaii.

We found a venue in Hawaii, but haven't made any plans yet. But, now I keep thinking about the vision I want, and I just wont get that in Hawaii.

What do I do? I know ultimately the decision is both of ours. I dont want to settle on Hawaii, but I dont want my fiance to settle on another place either.

Any advice is appreciated.

I am a June 2027 bride. I reached out on September 25, via my venues portal regarding a question. I knew my Floral planning appt was coming up in november/december ish so, i reached out with a few questions about that and about setting up a date. October 10th came and I just gave it the benefit of the doubt and sent a follow up email just making sure that my email had made it through to the right box. October 15th came and I decided to reach out on one of their social media platforms because I just wanted to confirm if the portal is still working (because it is important for communication). It’s October 21 and I haven’t heard back still. They are still posting in social media.

I only have 3 payments left of the venue and I plan on holding them until they answer but, what is there even to do? 😅

Their policy for messaging that they sent out reads as follows:

Beginning tomorrow, you still can email us or message us as often as you wish, but we will only be emailing back during normal working hours. 9:00 am - 5:00 pm.  Please note if you email us and do not get a response, we will email you back as soon as possible the next day. If you send a message on the weekend, please allow us until the following Monday to answer.

We're a few weeks past our wedding now (villa just outside Siena, and we flew most of our wedding party in from Kansas City), so for anyone planning something like it, here's the unglamorous side.

Those ZTL zones are definately not a myth. Day two, one of the groomsmen drove straight into the old town in Siena and he's still checking the mailbox for his fine (we've told him these can take months). In the smaller towns shops close for a few hours after lunch, so time your errands. Don't trust the villa wifi for anything, print the timeline and put a copy in the coordinator's hands. The villa kitchen had exactly one free outlet, so my Anker universal charger sat there all week with everyone's phones on it (and my laptop for the slideshow).

It was a small one, 40 or so guests, and for most of them it was a first trip to Italy, so we spent half the week as tour guides in between errands. No complaints from us

My fiance and I are planning for our wedding next September, and want to have some wedding favors for our guests.

We both love books and reading, so we’re having a “literary magic” theme wedding. I want our wedding favors to be cute and useful so it’s not easily thrown away afterwards. I was thinking bookmarks but I would like to gather more ideas.

Any help will be appreciated. Thank you in advance. I’m open to any suggestions :)

I am a to-do list LOVER. I get married in May of 2027 and have done all the big things such as vendor booking, getting my dress, asked bridal party, booked final meetings, tastings, etc.

I’m making a to-do list of the smaller details I need to remember so that I can work on a few things each week.

Some points so far:
- Order Invites
- Order day of gifts for bridal party
- Write Vows
- Photography shot list
- Fill out DJ information sheet

no detail is too small!! let me know what’s on your list

I’m starting to look at options for my wedding photo book and I’m not sure if i should do it from scratch, use a template or just get some help from AI, but no worries, im not talking about chatgpt. Im talking about those AI tools companies like mixbook or pastbook have, or maybe just use one their templates.

I’ve been looking for different options, but I’m not sure because im worried that if I use a template it could look a bit basic or plain? But im also not a designer myself. Any tips or recommendations? Has anyone used any of those tools for your wedding photo book?

Also did the kids eat food from the reception?

Hi everyone!!

My fiancé and I are starting to seriously plan our wedding, and I would love some recommendations from people who have gotten married in either Florida or Wisconsin or live in either state and know of great spots!

We’re from Wisconsin but are considering having a destination wedding in Florida. We’re planning on a smaller, more intimate wedding with around 50–80 guests. We want somewhere that can do both our reception and ceremony, that will be beautiful and special without completely breaking the bank. We are planning for the fall of 2028, ideally October. Our ideal budget would be no more than $25,000 total (we are recently graduated, paying off student loans and don’t have much)

If we decide on Florida, we would prefer somewhere that isn’t overly touristy or in a major city. We’re open to pretty much anything! The venue doesn’t have to be beachfront, and we would love to hear about gardens, estates, barns, outdoor venues, or anything else you think is worth looking into.

I’d also appreciate recommendations for photographers, caterers, wedding planners, or any other vendors you loved working with!

If you got married in either state, I’d love to hear about your experience, what you spent, and whether you felt it was worth it or would do differently.

There is just so many options and different parts of planning a wedding, that i’m anxious and don’t know where to begin. or the “right way” to do things. Thank you in advance for any recommendations or advice!! ❤️

Now that Zola has been acquired by the Knot, what wedding website have you used and liked? What didn’t you like about them?

Things I’m looking for:

- good RSVP system
- good registry system that’s easy for guests to use, or the website makes it easy to link other registry sites
- password protected by individual (by their email, phone number, name, etc., not just one generic password for all guests)

Edit: I think I’m going with Minted, thanks for all the suggestions! The ability to hide events (in my case, all of them) from people who aren’t invited is super helpful, and it’s easy to use. I also like that I can add as many pages as I need.

Welcome to this week’s wedding planning discussion!

Whether your wedding is next month or still a year away, use this thread to share what is going on with your plans, ask questions, or get advice from people who have been through the same process.

Some topics to get the conversation started:

• What part of wedding planning are you working on right now?
• Have you made any decisions recently that you are excited about?
• Are you struggling with your budget, guest list, venue, or timeline?
• What is one thing you wish you had known earlier in the planning process?
• What is your best tip for keeping wedding planning stress under control?

There is no such thing as a silly question. Every wedding is different, and a little advice or reassurance can go a long way.

Please keep things kind, stay on topic, and avoid promotional content or unsolicited vendor recommendations.

What is one wedding planning win or challenge you have had this week?