(TW: religion)

I'm currently in a relationship with my religious gf. And when I say religious, she is the religious type of person who literally goes to church/mass every Sunday and does almost everything that is Catholic.

At first I was a bit defiant. I do not like a god who teaches people to hate something as beautiful as love. But as I learned more about her faith, how she feels about the God that she reveres, I understand her better now. God was there at her lowest, when she had nothing to eat, when she had to grasp on straws to survive the darkest moments in her life. . .that "God" literally saved her. And I want to thank that "God" for saving my girlfriend before I arrived in her life. I thank "God" for being there for my girlfriend, to tell her that she's never alone and that there are always better days coming.

However, as a lesbian woman in church. . .why is it so difficult to give her the wedding that she deserves?

I learned that she would want to get married in a Catholic church, to make those vows under God here in the Philippines. But with how backwards a lot of Filipinos are, I think having a lesbian church wedding is just a pipe dream.

I've known this girl since 1st year college, and now we're in 3rd year. Let's call her Dino (she's gay).

**1st year (mag-classmates kaming tatlo ni dino and barney, 2nd sem)**

The first time I noticed Dino was on the first day of class. She walked into the room, and my first thought was, "Ang angas naman nito, ang cool ng haircut niya." She caught my attention, but I never thought of her as a crush. I just thought she looked cool. There was also this other girl, let's call her Barney (she's straight). She's cute, friendly, and approachable, and I kinda had a crush on her for around 2-3 months. It wasn't anything serious naman. I just found her cute. Eventually, though, I started noticing some things that made me lose interest. She was often late and didn't submit activities on time. One thing I want in a girl is someone who's masipag and can inspire me to be hardworking too. I have this fantasy of having a girlfriend who studies with me and somehow influences me to be more diligent with my studies. Even after I lost my crush on Barney, I still treated her as a friend. I'd help her when she was confused about activities and remind her about deadlines. But honestly, even now that we're in 3rd year, she's still pretty much the same when it comes to those things. Anyway, while I still had a crush on Barney, I started thinking that Dino might like her too. Dino would always look for Barney and hug her whenever they saw each other. Of course, I got a little jealous HAHAHA. I thought, what if Dino liked her, too? Dino is also my friend, but we weren't that much close yet.

**2nd year (both 1st and 2nd sem, hindi na namin classmate si Dino)**

As we got closer to 2nd year, we started interacting more. Lagi kasi kaming nagtatagpo HAHAHA. I'd see her on the jeep (same city kasi kami outside of cavite), and we'd bump into each other during vacant periods, too. It happened so often that we gradually became closer. I was surprised when she started hugging me, too, just like how she hugged Barney. She's really touchy and affectionate. Because I was curious, I asked her if she ever liked Barney. She looked surprised and said she didn't expect me to ask that. She explained that physical touch is her love language and that Barney just seemed approachable.

I don't know if I should've felt relieved after that. I wasn't even crushing on Barney anymore, so I guess I didn't really care that much.

**3rd year (hindi namin classmate si Dino)**

Over the past few months, I've caught myself thinking, "Bakit hindi na lang si Dino ang naging crush ko?" She's masipag mag-aral, she's fun to be with, and she has a lot of the qualities I want in a girl. I really admire how diligent she is with her studies, and I like the idea of having a partner who could inspire me to do better, too. But whenever I had those thoughts, I'd just brush them off. She's my friend. We've been friends since 1st year, and I've always seen her as a friend. Just because she's clingy and touchy with me doesn't mean she likes me romantically, ayoko mag-assume, I know naman she's affectionate with her other friends too HAHHAHAHA. But this week, I started realizing that I really like her na. Lagi ko kasing kasama eh hahaha. It's funny because back in 1st year, I was jealous of Dino because I thought she liked Barney tapos ngayon gusto ko na si Dino hahaha. I honestly don't know what to do with these feelings yet.

problem/goal: i’ve been receiving different opinions here and from friends so mas na-confuse lang ako lalo on what to do. should i carson-ify (mahal kita 7 years na, but in my case, gusto kita isang buwan na) my way in (or out) of this by telling her what i really feel even though ang possible result nun ay hindi na kami mag-usap ulit or iwasan na niya ako? or should i just keep it to myself to preserve the friendship but forever wonder what could’ve happened if only i told her the truth? share your thoughts pls help im losing my shi over a crush

context: I (f23) have a MASSIVE crush on a colleague (f29). bilang i just got out of a long-term relationship this yr, kino-contemplate ko pa noong una na baka vulnerable lang talaga ako and it just so happens na siya yung nandyan at dahil she’s pretty, smart, n we kinda like the same things kaya ko naging happy crush.

i was recently talking to a guy who was my schoolmate in college because yeah i date both naman, pero napansin ko na lang na nawawalan na ako gana kausapin si guy kasi onti-onting down bad na ako kay colleague. i told him that naman like in full detail kaya he became my homeboy na lang and he’s cool with it.

si colleague ay may longtime partner na and you know she’s being an ate to me which should be a good thing right but as a sucker for older women n for acts of service, it’s driving me crazy. there are some things she’s doing na hindi ko maiwasan magponder minsan if may meaning ba or she’s just really nice. i respect her and her partner naman and i’d never make a move as i keep telling myself nga na sana these feelings fade already para hindi na lumalim because ako lang din naman mahuhurt if it mangyari yun. the potential is haunting me lang medyo kasi if only we met while she’s single then maybe, in the tiniest hope of her liking me back, maybe we wouldnve worked out. i never liked someone this much lang talaga na organically ko nakilala so like this is my first time kaya please tell me your thoughts 🥹

Problem/Goal: I find my situation kinda hard. Puro fem na magaganda na feel kong hindi naman ako tatapunan ng pansin lagi nagiging crush ko, pinapangunahan ko lagi na wala akong chance (tho baka tama naman), but I wanna know if it’s possible🙁

For context lang, I am 5 foot tall, kinda chubby, not girly and not tomboyish, with social anxiety. And they’re always the exact opposite, tall and very feminine. I tried to flirt pero laging sa chats, minsan I can’t even do it with my personal account, I had to use a burner account. Apaka loserrr.

Problem/Goal:

Hi! First time ko magkuwento and tanong dito. Please bear with me.

May kausap ako for almost 3 months, and I ended it kagabi. Sa lahat ng nakausap ko, siya yung may sense at mature mag-isip. She's in college, while ako kaka-start pa lang ng work. Nag-click kami agad, and aaminin ko na nagkagusto rin ako sa kanya.

For me, malalim na yung pinagsamahan namin. Sinasama ko na rin siya sa future plans ko, pero ngayong nagsimula na ako sa training ko sa work, sobrang nahihirapan ako. May times na gusto ko na lang matulog after work at matapos yung araw para dumating na yung off ko.

I'm a nurse, btw, and two hours yung biyahe ko papunta sa hospital and pauwi. Aminin ko rin na sobrang bago ng lahat ng ito. Before, provided sa akin like allowance, pangbayad sa credit card, and bills. Ngayon, nag-aambag na ako sa bills sa bahay namin kapag kailangan, pero wala naman silang ibang aasahan kundi kaming magkakapatid. Medyo comfortable yung buhay namin before, but now, kailangan ko nang mag-adjust sa bagong buhay ko.

I chose to leave her kasi alam ko na hindi ko na maibibigay yung best ko. Hindi ko na maibibigay yung energy na dapat nakukuha niya. Nakita ko rin sa parents ko yung hindi pagpapahalaga sa partner, and ayaw ko na matulad kami doon.

Ayaw ko na kapag pagod ako, baka masisigawan ko siya or may masabi akong hindi ko naman talaga gustong sabihin. Kasi nung mga kakasimula pa lang ng training ko, umabot na sa point na hindi na ako masyadong nakakapag-reply sa kanya. Mas pinipili kong matulog kaysa mag-phone. Alam kong sobrang selfish, pero ayaw ko siyang madamay sa problema ko kahit sabihin niyang willing siyang mag-adjust.

First time ko na magpaalam sa ganito, kasi before, lagi akong yung iniiwan or ginoghost. Ang bigat pala sa pakiramdam at ang lungkot.

Context:

Hindi ko naman siya iniwan dahil may nagawa siyang mali. In fact, she's been very understanding sa situation ko, pero hindi niya alam yung about sa finances. Sinabi rin niyang kaya niyang panindigan at mag-adjust, pero hindi ko alam kung kaya ko ba talaga. Kahit training pa lang, ganito na yung nararamdaman kong pagod, and iniisip ko kung ano pa kaya kapag regular duty na.

I'm still trying to adjust sa bagong responsibilities ko, sa finances, at sa buhay na kailangan ko nang panindigan on my own. Gusto ko rin namang magkaroon ng relationship, pero ayaw kong mangako ng oras at effort na hindi ko sigurado kung kaya kong ibigay ngayon.

Ano thoughts niyo? Advice, please. Gusto ko lang malaman yung perspective niyo kaso hindi ko alam kung kailan ko pa mababasa ulit. Thank youuu!

Problem/Goal: For context, my girlfriend invited me to her friend’s halloween party and I said I can’t come. Her friend messaged din na hindi na nya ininvite ex ng girlfriend ko cos they know I’m not comfortable. So when I said no, her friend asked her if okay lang ba sakanya iinvite na ex nya since di naman pala ako kasama, knowing na di ako okay sa ex nya. So she said yea its okay. Ang sakin lang naman ikaw na nga tinanong kung okay lang ba tas alam mo na ngang di ako comfortable, umokay ka pa.

I don’t know what else to say to my girlfriend cos I keep saying na I’m not comfortable sa ex nya, but wala na daw sya social life cos she’s wfh. Pero pag aayain naman sya ng iba nyang friends tatamadin sya

Problem/Goal:
I want to hear your honest opinions. Is it normal for a straight woman to behave this way toward another woman, or does this sound like an unusually intense friendship?

I’m married, and she’s a woman who identifies as straight. We’ve developed a very close emotional connection, and sometimes I genuinely don’t know what to make of her behavior.

I’m not asking because I want to pursue her. I actually hope this is just a deep friendship because I don’t want to complicate my marriage or lose what we have. I’m just curious whether this kind of connection is normal between straight women.

Context:
We have deep conversations, including late-night talks, and share personal things that we don’t usually share with other people. She’s told me that she’s never opened up to anyone quite like she has with me. She’s said she has a “human” in her life now and that she values our deep talks.
She’s very caring toward me and remembers little things about me. There have also been playful, flirty-sounding comments, such as teasing me about not replacing her with someone new.
She’s made me feel that our connection is special to her, too.
She has also expressed that closeness can be scary for us. When we talked about our connection, she said the feeling was mutual.
Recently, I’ve become more aware of how emotionally attached I am to her. Small gestures from her can make me unexpectedly emotional, and I find myself thinking about how special she is to me.

But here’s the catch: she identifies as straight and has explicitly told me not to fall in love with her. She’s said that she chooses friendship because it’s the relationship that lasts (in general).
I respect that. I’m not assuming she’s attracted to me, and I know that emotional intimacy doesn’t automatically equal romantic interest. Still, some of our interactions leave me wondering whether this is how straight women behave with their particularly close female friends.
For additional context, I’m married. I care about my husband and don’t want to pursue anything romantic with her. If anything, I’m worried about developing feelings that could complicate a friendship I genuinely value.

Previous Attempts:
I’ve tried to take her words at face value and remind myself that she has explicitly chosen friendship. I’ve also tried to separate what she actually says and does from what I might be interpreting.
I know some women are naturally affectionate, emotionally expressive, and playful with their friends. I also know that intense emotional intimacy between two women doesn’t necessarily mean either of them is romantically attracted to the other.
But because I don’t have a clear point of comparison, I wanted to ask women who might have a different perspective.

Questions:
Straight women, is this how you behave with a female friend you’re especially close to?
Is late-night emotional intimacy, mutual vulnerability, teasing that sounds flirty, and being protective of a friendship normal in a close platonic relationship?
Have you experienced a straight woman forming this kind of emotionally intense bond with you, even when she knew you were WLW?
Is there anything here that stands out as unusual, or am I overanalyzing normal friendship behavior?
For WLW women, have you ever mistaken a straight woman’s emotional closeness for something more? What helped you distinguish the two?
I’m not asking you to diagnose her sexuality or tell me she secretly likes me. I just want honest perspectives on whether this is typical straight-girl behavior or an unusually intense friendship.

So, WLW women: galawan ba talaga ito ng straight woman, or am I reading too much into it?

Thank you to everyone who replied! 🥹 I really appreciate how kind and nonjudgmental you all have been. You gave me a lot to reflect on, especially about understanding my own feelings instead of overanalyzing hers. I was honestly nervous about posting this, so thank you for making me feel safe enough to talk about it. ❤️

Short rant incoming but my partner and I are currently rebuilding our relationship because I found out she was cheating on me 2 months ago. We have been doing well with improving our communication and allotting more time for each other but tonight I randomly remembered all the lies she told me and how she was talking to her while promising me there was nothing going on between them. I blurted out “I hope she dies” and my gf was shocked. Now I feel guilty for having such an extreme reaction haha

Hi! This is actually my first time posting here, so I hope I'm doing this right hahaha.

Problem/Goal:

I'm Filo (F19) living in the Middle East, and my girlfriend is also Filo (F20) living in the Philippines. We're in an LDR, and she's the first Filipina I've ever dated. It's also my first time being in an LDR, so I'm still learning a lot.

I want to ask for advice from people who have experience with LDRs, especially Filipinas who grew up in the Philippines. How do you usually show love to your partner? What makes you feel loved? How do you do lambing, and what little things make you feel special even when you're far away from each other?

Context:

I basically grew up here in the Middle East, so although my family exposed me to Filo culture naman, most of the people I grew up around were Arabs. Naturally, I'm more exposed to Arab culture, the way people communicate, and even how people approach relationships. My first relationship was also with a Muslim girl, so my experiences have been quite different.

Now that I'm dating my girl, I'm slowly realizing how differently we grew up. It's not just in our relationship but even in the little things we say, understand, and do hahaha

Sometimes, she'll jokingly get pissed when I don't understand certain Filo expressions or things she's talking about, and honestly, I find it really cute, It's like she's introducing me to little things I didn't really get to experience growing up.

I'm keeping up naman! I'm slowly learning how she wants to be loved, and I genuinely want to understand her better. But sometimes I can't help thinking that dating culture here in the Middle East feels so different from what I'm experiencing with her.

I know every person is different, and I'm not saying all Filos are the same. I'm just curious about your experiences, especially if you grew up in the Philippines and your partner grew up abroad, or vice versa.

So, any LDR tips? And how do you Filos usually express love and lambing? What little things do you do to make your girlfriend feel loved, reassured, and appreciated even from a distance?

I'd also love to hear from fellow Filos who grew up abroad and had to learn certain things about Filipino dating culture. Did you ever experience moments when your partner understood something that you didn't because you grew up differently?

I just want to keep learning about my girl, understand her world a little better, and love her in ways that make her feel loved, too. 🥹❤️

To the corpo pretty girl na nakasabay ko before, nakasabay na naman kita sa ejeeeep 🤧 tapos nakatabi kita saglit kasi lolo went off mga bandang Ever and then I had to scoot over. So magkatabi tayo hanggang sa bababaan mo sa COA, I’m resisting the urge to look over my shoulder kasi ang lapit lang ng muka mo ahahaha mygad.

Hoping to see you again 🤪😭

So i had an ex na never nalabasan sa previous relationships nya. She had boyfriends before naging bading at nag girlfriend at may mga naka one night stand pa and then despite sa mga nakaraan nya, never daw sya nag c*m. So when we were together sobrang mind blown nya sa mga na discover nya haha medyo na mindblown din ako dahil doon ko na realized na hindi pala lahat ng nasa relasyon ay marunong magparaos hahahaha anyway, nag break din naman kami dahil sa ldr set up at medyo toxic ang relasyon. Maybe pinagtagpo kami ng Universe para ma realized nya na pwede pala sya malabasan every time she had segggs hahaha hopefully marunong na sya dahil di rin talaga sya marunong hahaha

Problem/Goal:

How do you start over after almost 7 years in a WLW relationship? How do you learn to be on your own again after spending so many years with someone? I want to move on, focus on myself, and heal, but honestly, I don’t know where to start.

Context:

I was with this girl for almost 7 years. It was a toxic relationship, and we had issues with cheating, but despite everything, I still cherish the days when she genuinely made me feel happy and loved. I know our relationship wasn’t perfect, but there were beautiful moments, too, and I guess that’s what makes letting go so hard.

We ended things last week. She left me, and I haven’t received any messages from her since. She told me she wanted to break up and blocked me right away, so I didn’t even get the chance to reply. I guess this is really it. I have to accept that it’s over and start moving forward. Somehow, I had already prepared myself for this, but actually experiencing it is a different kind of pain.

Honestly, I don’t even know where to start. Haha. I tried talking to a guy, pero iba talaga humor ng lalaki. Hindi ko trip 😂

For now, I want to focus on myself, start over, and learn how to be on my own again. Almost 7 years is no joke, so I know I need time to heal. I don’t want to rush into another relationship. I want to rediscover myself, enjoy my own company, and learn how to be happy on my own.

And to you, my white bear, I love you so, so much. I gave you my best. I gave you all of me, even when it felt like there was nothing left of me to give.

I hope you meet someone who will love you even more than I did, someone who will listen to you and try to understand you, no matter how difficult things get.

Mahal na mahal kita. I know you haven’t heard anything from me since you told me you wanted to break up because you blocked me right away. I didn’t even get the chance to reply. And even though I still have other ways to contact you through different platforms, I chose not to. What’s the point, right? You left me, and this time, I finally choose to respect your decision.

I love you so much, but I won’t beg anymore. I’ll keep walking down this road, even if it means walking farther and farther away from you. I’ll carry the memories, the lessons, and the love I had for you, but I won’t keep chasing someone who has already chosen to leave.

I will be okay soon, di ba?

To those who have been through something similar, especially those who have moved on from a long-term WLW relationship, how did you start over? How did you deal with the loneliness and the feeling of suddenly having so much time without the person who used to be part of your everyday life?

I’d appreciate any advice or personal experiences. I just want to hear from people who understand what it’s like to lose someone who has been part of your life for so long.

Thank you for reading. ❤️

Context: https://www.reddit.com/r/WLW_PH/s/ZAI2CGor
https://www.reddit.com/r/WLW_PH/s/NsG6MpMgJi

Problem: I bumped into our mutual friend, who is the brother of one of her friends and also a close friend of mine. He told me they had talked to my ex, and she said to him, “Pag nagkita kayo tanong mo bakit nagawa niya sa akin yun.” He also mentioned that my ex had posted our engagement ring on Instagram for sale. We are now 2 months no contact. Ang sakit lang, because now hindi ko alam ano mararamdaman ko. I tried so many times to reach out to her pero hindi nag rereply tas ngayon malalaman ko pa sa ibang tao na ganito. Ano pwede ko gawin? Message ko ba siya ulit? Tanungin ko ba mutual friend namin?

problem: i don’t have any sapphic friends to go with and galing pa ako province.

context: i’ve always wanted to go there, but i’m like too shy especially i feel like i’m going solo since wala talaga ako maaya. i’m planning to book a nearby affordable motel, but it would be nice if i could split with someone den lol. but again i don’t really know what to expect i just want to party and meet new people. not a heavy drinker.

do u guys have any tips as a solo goer na galing pa sa province and like do y’all know any gcs na nag aampon ng solo goers LOL. also like what are the things na i should expect there before i get too overwhelmed.

I have a confession para sa crush kong taga-Bagong Silang, Caloocan HAHAHAHA 👀😭❤️

Hi sa crush kong taga-Bagong Silang! HAHAHAHA. Alam kong lurker ka dito sa Reddit, at alam ko ring bi ka. Actually, friends tayo sa FB, pero hanggang tingin at stalk lang muna ako kasi shet, wala talaga akong lakas ng loob na i-chat ka. 😭😂

Ewan ko ba, ang dali lang naman sigurong mag-hi, pero bakit parang ang hirap-hirap gawin kapag crush mo na yung tao? HAHAHAHA. Alam ko rin yung past relationship history mo, including yung sa husband mo, kaya napapaisip ako kung single ka ba ngayon. 👀

For context, I'm soft masc pala. Ewan ko lang kung prefer mo yung ganun, pero ayun, introducing myself na rin kahit dito lang muna. HAHAHAHA. Shorty girlie ka pa naman, and honestly, type talaga kita. Kaso eto ako, torpe malala kahit nasa right age na tayo. Akala mo naman kung sinong matapang, pero pagdating sa pag-message sa crush, biglang nawawalan ng confidence. 😭

Gusto sana kitang kausapin at makilala pa nang mas maayos, pero nauunahan talaga ako ng hiya at takot sa rejection. Paano kung hindi mo pala ako type? Paano kung awkward na pagkatapos? HAHAHAHA. Kaya dito ko na lang muna i-out, baka sakaling mapadaan ka sa post na 'to at makilala mo kung sino ako. 😂

Sana mapansin mo 'to at ikaw na lang ang unang mag-message sa akin. Baka ito na yung sign para magkaroon ako ng lakas ng loob na kausapin ka rin. Malay mo, di ba? HAHAHAHA. 🤞🏻

Shoutout din sa mga kagaya kong hindi makapag-confess sa crush nila dahil takot ma-reject. 😭 Hanggang tingin, like sa FB, at patagong kilig na lang muna tayo. HAHAHAHA. Kailan ba tayo magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob? Nasa tamang edad na tayo pero bakit parang high school pa rin kung umasta kapag may crush? 😭😂

Crush, kung nababasa mo 'to, sana alam mong ikaw 'to. HAHAHAHA. Baka naman pwedeng ikaw na ang mag-first move kasi mukhang hindi ko talaga kaya. 😭😂❤️

Goal: To start the foster care and adoption process in Metro Manila and understand the requirements, eligibility, and steps involved. :)

Context: We’re a married couple with a US marriage license, hoping to foster and eventually adopt a child here in Metro Manila. We’re unsure where to begin!

For couples who have gone through this process, we’d appreciate any tips, advice, and recommendations on where to start.

Thank you! ❤️

to WLW admins: this is my third attempt in revising my post. Sobrang arte ng bot niyo 😂

You’re over 25 and still treating people’s hearts like a trial period. Thanks for ruining my peace.

We matched on Bumble, met at a sunny event, and spent months dating in person. I fell for you completely. I was honest, present, and so ridiculously serious about us. I poured every ounce of my effort into building something real with you and I thought you were doing the same.

Then, out of nowhere on a random night, you dropped the coldest line possible: "You’re giving your all and I’m not."

It completely shattered me. Were those months together just a f*cking joke to you? Was I just a backburner option while you figured yourself out? A ego boost? An entertainment fix until you got bored?

You mirrored my energy, made me believe it was mutual, and then discarded me the moment it got real. It hurts so bad because I was genuinely all in.

You’re over 25 just please grow up. If you knew you were emotionally unavailable or confused, you had no right to pull me into your mess and wreck the peace I worked so hard to build.

To anyone reading this who’s currently giving 100% to someone who’s just casually coasting: run. Don't let someone use your genuine heart as a temporary fix until they find what they actually want. Lesson learned the hard way. I’m taking my peace back, and she can keep her emotional immaturity.

some said that you should look for someone who's willing to peel the orange for you. but mine wont just peel an orange for me, she (25F) would also himay a tuyo fish just for me to eat and relate to her cravings. I told her that i dont know how to eat tuyo and the last time i ate one, is natinik pa ako >//< hinimayan niya ako ng tuyo para masabayan ko siya sa cravings niya sa tuyo, pero she just made me a tomato with salted egg para ayon na lang kainin ko.

she's just so considerate of me sobra 🥹 she will always let me (24F) have the first bite of her food, kahit na ano pa yan, she will let me have it first. and i always do the same for her, i'll let her have the first bite of my food too. madalas pa nga na mas gusto niya yung mga inoorder kong food or drinks eh, palit daw kami ng food 😆

Problem/Goal: Hi, just wanted to ask for advice kasi hindi ko alam kung normal lang ba ’tong nararamdaman ko or nagseselos lang talaga ako.

Context: First time ko kasi gawin ’to with my girlfriend, while siya may past sexual experience na with guys. Minsan hindi ko maiwasang mag-overthink na baka kino-compare niya ako sa mga past niya, or baka nami-miss niya yung ganung experience with them. Tinatanong ko naman siya kung satisfied ba siya sa amin, and she always tells me na oo naman. I believe her, pero ewan ko ba, may times talaga na hindi ko mapigilan yung thoughts ko.

Minsan naiisip ko rin kung ganito rin ba siya dati sa mga naging past niya, kung ganito rin ba siya ka-affectionate or kung ginagawa rin ba niya yung mga bagay na ginagawa niya sa akin ngayon. I know na may past siya before me, and wala naman akong karapatan na sisihin siya for that. Pero as someone na first time pa lang ma-experience lahat ng ’to, I guess nahihirapan lang akong hindi ikumpara yung sarili ko sa mga taong nauna sa akin.

Mali ba na ganito yung nararamdaman ko? Paano niyo hinahandle yung ganitong thoughts, especially kapag first relationship or first sexual experience niyo pero hindi kayo yung first ng partner niyo?
Would appreciate any advice. Please be honest with me kasi gusto ko rin matutunan kung paano i-handle ’tong insecurities ko without making my girlfriend feel bad about her past. Thank uu

Problem: Nagkagusto ba ang college bff ko sakin?

Context: Pls bear with me, sobrang haba ng story ko. During my college years, may naging bff ako. Our story started during our first year in college pa lang, first days of school may naging group of friends na ako agad pero my bff is not one of them. Sa section namin medyo naging high school ang set up dahil naging by group ang lahat pero later on naging matured na rin ang lahat at nawala na yung groupings and it feels like we’re one big group (ang saya lang isipin hehe). My bff who is not yet my friend has her own group, and di pa ako bading nun and i’m a quiet girl lang sa tabi w/ my friends. Napapansin ko sa kanya na every time mag cross ang landas namin masyado syang papansin sakin or msyado nya akong pinapansin, eh tahimik lang talaga ako sa tabi. And dahil di pa ako bading that time, ayoko talaga sa kanya dahil ang tingin ko sa kanya nun, malandi at mahilig sa lalaki hahaha e kasi naman ang group of friends nya puro crushes ang inatupag haha. There are times na gusto nya kong kausap pag wala pa yung prof at tatabi sya sakin, tapos gagawa sya ng paraan para kausapin ko sya, naging touchy na rin sya dahil palagi nyang dinidikit ang katawan nya sakin to the point na na hhug na nya ko and i hate that hahaha. And then one day dahil sa pagiging persistent nya, inaya nya ko bumili ng books sa Recto dahil naubusan na sya sa school, so ako, nag go na lang dahil wala daw syang kasama, doon kami nag bonding dalawa, and thinking about it now, bakit ako lang inaya nya? Haha so halos whole day kami magkasama at inaya nya ko kumain ng burger na buy1take1 and later on nahiya daw sya dahil na realized nya na mayaman daw pala ako at di ako kumakain sa tabitabi hahaha in which on my defense, di talaga ako sanay na kumain ng streetfoods dahil taga probinsya ako haha. So after that day, naging inseparable na kaming dalawa despite na may mga group of friends kami. Inalam nya lahat ng bagay sa life ko and we became so close na naging mag bff na kami. We even shower together (always) after our swim class na magkatalikod pero thinking about it now sobrang bading pala ng ginagawa namin hahahaha and when we go to sleepovers naman palagi kaming magkatabi at magkayakap hahaha. That time wala pa akong feelings sa kanya dahil ang alam ko bff ko sya at walang malisya. Then, nung naging 2nd yr na kami, nahiwalay kaming dalawa sa section namin dahil na late ang pera nya sa enrollment so i waited for her. Doon ko na realized and maybe sya rin na what we’re doing and how we are and how others see us is beyond friendship. Naging maliit yung mundo ko during those time and maybe sa kanya rin dahil palagi kaming magkasama kahit saan. And then everything changed, dahil bigla syang nag decide na wag na daw kami mag sabay ng enrollment on our 3rd year, so it means na ayaw nya kong maging classmate. Maybe because may mga binibigay na hints yung new classmates namin na msyado daw kaming close dalawa. Mind you, di pa masyadong open ang mundo nun sa lgbt, this was 2009-2010. So later ko na realized na maybe ayaw nyang ma judge as a woman lover. Naalala ko before na medyo na bother talaga sya sa comment ng isang classmate namin na mukha daw syang tomboy sa converse nya. Until those times, wala pa talagang malisya sakin ang lahat dahil feeling ko nasa in denial stage pa ako na bading talaga ako haha At dahil ayaw nya ko kasabay sa enrollment, hinayaan ko na sya. That was my first heartbreak, at nag move one ako na di ko alam hahaha na realized ko na lang later on. Naiwan ako sa section namin at nag ibang section naman sya, so nasama ako sa ibang group of friends and the first thing they told me nung inampon nila ako, “ang saya mo pala kasama noh? Di ka kasi namin makausap at ma approach dahil palagi kayong magkasama ni ***”, and then boom! Bigla akong nabuhusan ng malamig na katotohanan at realization hahaha 3rd yr kami nito, and doon na ko nagka feelings sa kanya hahahaha kung kelan di na kami magkasama at kung kelan parang ayaw na nya sa akin hahaha every time na magkasalubong kami para syang malungkot always at ako naman sobrang saya dahil ang saya ng section na napuntahan ko at para akong nakawala sa isang relasyon na toxic, ang dami kong ganap sa life at friends at ang tataas pa ng grades ko haha pero ayun nga, may feelings na ako sa kanya and kahit papano nagkikita pa rin naman kami and we have our friendship dates pa naman haha. We we watch movies together, we hold hands when we walk and we do our sleepovers na magkatabi parin hahaha and then, we graduated and have jobs and we still go out for our dates and never ako umamin sa kanya. After graduation, doon na ako natuto lumandi at magka relasyon sa kapwa babae. I remember, when I told my group of friends while we’re in our coffee date and adun din si bff that time na may karelasyon ako na babae and they we’re happy dahil ang happy ko daw, si bff natahimik and she did not know how to react and what to say, nag excuse sya para mag cr and then she came out smiling and congratulating me dahil ang strong ko daw and she’s happy for me. Years passed, at nagpakasal sya and isa ako sa bridesmaids hahahaha i even cried during the wedding dahil sobrang saya ko for her. And then naging madalang na ang dates at messages until one day, di na talaga sya nag reply. And again, i respected her decision to not have a connection w/ me anymore. Nag reached out naman ako and nangangamusta from time to time pero never na sya nag paramdam. Ang haba! Hahahaha so tingin nyo? Nagka feelings ba sya sakin? Bigla akong napa share dahil bigla ko syang naalala out of the blue. Hehe i miss you brit.

I am regretting not approaching her. She looks so badass for real. But I did not approach because I was with my homophobic family. I spotted her at Mall of Asia getting parking ticket. She was wearing all black. Curly hair. Looks like my age 20s. Nike shoes. Adidas jacket. And holding Popeyes food. Just tonight ko lng nakita

I talked about it with my family in the car. They said they're fine with me befriending strangers I see.

I swear if i ever see a masc that pumps my heart I will approach and get their contact info.

Honestly im not sure if its a woman or a man kasi I didn't get to see their face or hear their voice.🥲

Maybe its not meant to be. But ugh yung "what if" gets in my head. Thanks for listening to my rant.

problem: i'm just posting it here because i'm thinking of taking these teelings to the grave. but at the same time, i also feel like i should let her know just for the sake of getting this off my chest. what do u guys think? pls help a girlie out 🥺

context: i just got out of a toxic long-term relationship with a narcissistic n emotionally abusive serial cheater last april. right after the breakup, i found out that she's already sharing the same roof with the girl she cheated on me with. that made me miserable for months. i thought there'd be no way for me to pick myselt up again. eventually, without me realizing, there came a day that i no longer wake up feeling dreadful, food started tasting better, and i could finally go on with my day without crying.

and then i met HER. let's call her Rin. i met her at work. at first, i only thought of her as an Ate because she's way older than me, probably 6 or 7yrs older (67 but as days go by, i noticed that the sole reason i go to work with a smile on my face was because of her. back in college, i would always glam up before going to school because i wanted to at least look presentable and pretty whenever i'm on campus. but in my previous work, since real workload is way more tiring than writing academic papers, i would rather spend my extra hours sleeping than putting on make up. but now in my current work, i would wake up 3 to 4 hours early just so I could put on make up... or just so i could be pretty around Rin.

i get all shy and awkward whenever i'm around Rin, but we were assigned to be seated next to each other, so that's like all the time. every time i ask her a work-related question, like for instance about the process, she would always answer me without hesitation to make sure that i'm keeping up with everything. she would whisper to me the correct answer whenever i get ambushed for a recitation. she would charge my laptop all because i couldn't reach the outlet and u'd have to go under the table to reach it, but she'd do that for me. all these things an Ate would have done for a little sister, but GOD FORBID i'm a sucker for acts of service so these small things meant more to me than they should.

i had also quit vaping for months now but because Rin smokes, i bought a new device and pod. if that means i get to be with here then these lungs could probably understand. i had also been on a reading slump for months or even a year because of what i went through with my ex, but because Rin recommended a book to me, i started reading again. i was able to finish the book just so we could talk about it. it was really great but what's greater than the book itself was hearing Rin talk about it along with her other nerdy interests. God i could listen to her and stare at her all day. my long lost passion for reading was reignited all because of Rin.

but Rin already has a life partner.

she already mentioned that early on, and God knows how much i tried not to feel the way i feel for her. sometimes she does things that would make me pause and wonder that maybe she likes me back, but then after a split second, it would snap me back to the reality that it will never happen. It's just been so long since the last time i felt this way for someone. i am not perfect but i am strict with my morals and principles and i would never EVER make a move on someone who is already committed. my heart is just genuinely happy whenever i'm with Rin.

Rin will be transferred to a different department so i'll see less of her, or maybe none at all. maybe that's a better option than spending time together knowing that we could never really be TOGETHER.

totoo pala talaga 'no na that there will be a brief but insane connection after ending a long-term relationship, and that one will haunt you. parang mas hurt pa ako dito mao because the POTENTIAL was there. indeed a short lived (almost but not quite) romance.

thank you for being a reminder that i can always begin again and that my heart can still be genuinely happy, Rin :)