need help

[u/AmphibianBorn1429]

I keep comparing myself to my firends at others schools and tehyre having such a better time. this school is great and has amazing resources, and i defnintly go out here, but I just don't like the people. those who i go out with are very surface level and I know i get out what I put in but it just feels like this isn't my place. I wish i went to uva (im a poc btw) because it just looks so much bigger and more fun. people here are stuck to their own bubbles and it makes making real friends so hard. pls give me advice, and im not trasnferring, i just needed to get this off my mind.

[u/s0ramble]

This was me my freshman year. It sucks but continue to take opportunities to build closer relationships with people and you’ll get better. I seriously considered transferring my first year, but I stuck it out and I’ve genuinely had the best 3 years of my life since (now a senior). There is a really weird culture freshman year at Vandy too, and for some reason people get more normal and real as you move up

[u/AmphibianBorn1429 → u/s0ramble]

that makes me feel sm better thanks

[u/HuckleberryWorking41]

Hang in there. It’s still early. People will start to relax and settle in. There are some good people. Keep yourself open and positive and busy. One day at a time. You’ve got this. You’ll look back on this time and be glad you didn’t give up. It will all work out.

[u/xerriffe → u/HuckleberryWorking41]

yea same. I felt this way my freshman and maybe even sophomore year, but I trusted the process and those people ended up being some of my best friends and I know we'll be in each other's lives for life :).

[u/Flimsy-Werewolf-3037]

You get used to it. But are you here so that you can eventually get a job one day, or are you here to socialize lol.

[u/AmphibianBorn1429 → u/Flimsy-Werewolf-3037]

valid

[u/hellchoson]

If this makes you feel better, I was offered UVA's echols scholars program, but chose to go to Vandy

[u/Tricky-Trap]

I feel like this is the case with the majority of college campuses nowadays, not just Vandy

[u/evissamnoisis]

Welcome to the real world. UVA is no different. Make your way and find a way to have fun and grow.

[u/IIsDogFan69]

I can't really offer any advice bc I'm in the same boat as you. I'm a sophomore and I haven't made any friends... I also hate the people here.

[u/Pretty_Leg_8097]

My husband went to vandy two decades ago and as a lower-middle class Texas skater kid struggled as well making friends and feeling people were fake and entitled. However he DID find his core group eventually and he’s still friends with them. Your feelings are valid. Keep putting yourself out there and if you do your best and still yearn for a different experience that’s your right too. GL!

[u/evenice27]

With rare exception my friends the first two months of school were not my good friends a year later through graduation - they were just people I met early or on my hall. It takes a little while to find your people.

[u/Mountain_Tip_7081]

If it’s your first semester, this is a totally normal feeling. I had such a rough freshman year I almost transferred. But I stayed and made some of my best friends.

Have you gotten involved in student orgs? Finding some that are related to your interests, even/especially those that are for hobbies, are a good way to meet people you might like.

[u/Bladeis]

try and mix up the program. see if there's a student org you're interested in, and try something new. plenty of different crowds to get involved with there on campus, almost certainly some you will vibe better with than the crowd it sounds like you find yourself in now. 

Vandy is a great place to experiment!