Religions and global leaders proclaimed it was a gift from God, until the cornstalks began sprouting from our throats and lungs.

Disbelieving what I see on my clock, I check my phone:

3:00 p.m.

Halfway up pitch, topo says 100 ft handcrack.

It’s an offwidth, all I have are #2’s.

Opening ChatGPT on her browser, she finds herself so grateful that writing has gotten so easy nowadays.

The smell was so strong I almost failed to dodge a utility pole that came crashing down right next to me, and when I looked in the direction it came from I saw a monstrous oily beast right before it unleashed an unholy terror inducing bellow upon us.

Which made mankind easy targets, and millions lost their lives.

Which drove him straight into the arms of the thing that his dog was trying to warn him of.

“Therefore, as it stands to reason that the defendant did not have inappropriate contact with his granddaughter, this case is dismissed.”

When my girlfriend asked for a pill for her migraine, I gave her one of my creations, and now I can’t wait for her to wake up in her coffin tomorrow.

As she spoke, she ate another piece of candy from what appeared to be a home-made leather bag.

It makes it difficult to get medical services when my boss had a meltdown and literally tore into my co-worker for coming late to work.

By morning, they had grown into the mattress, pinning me down while something underneath pulled them deeper.

Your 12+ year companion dog tested positive after we tested the skunk that fought him...

Reuben, please let us in we're sorry we didn't mean to hurt you or scare you, we just want to be with you forever, Reuben, inside your brain tissue and your skull and your skin, OH REUBEN, YOUR SKIN---

When I peered through a side window to see if something had gotten stuck in the door, I saw an unfamiliar man crouching in the dark, holding the handle and staring at me with a grin.

So I couldn't understand how he was wearing a gas attendant uniform, tapping on my window, and asking if I needed regular or premium.

Chunky

Was to keep me alive when her kind took over the world

Then something tickles the back of my throat, and I slowly pull a long, familiar hair from between my lips.

I’m nothing but its vessel…

I felt bad for his parents, they were good people, but I knew what the escalating trail of animal corpses he’d left behind meant and there wasn’t room for two of us.

A little girl watching from the plane asked her mother, ‘Why did that man turn into smoke?

What I didn’t know, was that when I turned around to look behind me, I had chosen the worst possible moment, as I fell into an open manhole, which happened to be missing it's cover, in the street, falling directly into the sewer below.