Relationship struggles

[u/throwawaytranslady38]

If no one answers this at least I can use this burner account to get this off my chest.

I’m attracted to men too. I am a bottom now.

I don’t know, I think I’ve always been this way, maybe hrt just brought it to the surface.

I just don’t wanna lose my girlfriend. She’s cis and she doesn’t understand a lot of things about how it feels to be trans. Whether it’s t4t or a man or whatever I wanted to consider going poly. We almost broke up right then, she was so upset.

I love her.
I don’t wanna lose her.

Am I being selfish for wanting the chance to explore my sexuality now that I’m finally in a body that I feel comfortable and free in?

We’re both early 30s, both have a lot in common, and we’ve been together over a year. Idk where to go from here.

[u/Hot_Echo_5450]

You aren’t being selfish. I am the former partner of a MtF person. They, too, found themselves attracted to me and trans women. They wanted to bottom but not with me. I wish they would have allowed us to remain together and explore a poly relationship and find a safe, happy place to allow them exploration and me the physical (sexual) safety along with me being the center partner. I have, since we broke up, discovered I would be much more amenable to an open relationship with some guard rails. Though, I think they needed freedom without me to explore it all- considering another person can be challenging when one is in the middle of such profound transition.

I can only advise that you take it slow. Moving quickly will assure a split. Maybe do an ENM questionnaire to see if you two are closer on the topic than you may have originally thought. And couples therapy may be a good place to start. Sending you all good vibes and I hope you are able to create space for each of you to feel safe, adored, loved and wanted in the midst of the challenge.