I, 14 mtf from Brazil, have tried to come out to my mother before, but she said she thinks "trans people are just in a state of mental confusion". This was 1 or 2 years ago. I decided to act like I was just confused about my gender and re-enter the closet. She also talked in a quite transphobic manner about Duda Salabert (a major transfem Brazilian politician).

Since then, I have explained to her that being is an actual thing that people experience, not just confusion, or liking to cross-dress.

I wish to get out of this god forsaken country to get puberty blockers and/or HRT. I have Italian citizenship, which makes it easier. However, we are in a tense situation, lots of fighting, they are emotionally quite immature for parents, and we are planning to move homes already, so it'll probably be in two years if we do move elsewhere. I was thinking Germany.

I am starting HRT on Monday I am both excited and nervous. I really want to do this. I feel it will complete me.

So I’m a trans man, a little over 1 year on T, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this lost and disappointed.
I’m still attending uni, so I go outside at least a few times a week. And every time, it’s torture. I have to avoid all reflections and even my own shadow on the ground because otherwise, my day is ruined.
Like today, I went out in my new jacket. It’s masculine and kinda square, so I hoped it would help. It did not. I have wide hips and a fat ass from the front, side, and back. I thought the fact that I went up a size in men’s clothes for my upper body (S to M), and that my unsupportive mom even told me I’d gotten wider in the shoulders, would help, but nothing can compensate for my lower body.
Anytime I see myself, I want to cry. I stalk trans guys that I know of through my acquaintances, and they all somehow look like men, just not me.
I wanted to show my unsupportive parents that I can be a happy, successful man, but instead, I’m just some depressed something.
I’m also going to travel to Turkey (Istanbul) in less than a month, and I’m obviously stressed about getting on a plane and travelling as a non-passing trans man. Getting on the plane stresses me out the most, probably. I have all my documents changed to male, which might make things even worse. I’m not sure.
But honestly, I don’t even know why I’m doing any of this because I can’t feel any joy. Even today, I got to go home sooner because some lectures were cancelled, and I got a part-time job offer, and still, I just feel empty and joyless.
I don’t know what to do. I just feel like this almost every day. Like I just have to accept it or something, but I haven’t been able to in like 7 years, so idk how to do it now.
Also, if you suggest stuff like therapy, there’s a shortage of pretty much every type of doctor in my country, plus finding someone trans-accepting makes it almost impossible.

First time post here! Any tips or advice on passing and / or making my face more feminine. How am I doing so far?

I am a gay man who came out later in life. I always felt like a girl but I hid that. What and how should I start the transition. It is a scary process for me

I know its in transmaxxxing… i am never in there but i decided on my depressive day to peek since it was suggested to me for whatever reason and im just like…. Why am i stuck?

I’ve had my name for around a week now, and I love it, but every now and then I think about what I could find a better name. I think it’s just me being so used to constantly searching for a name and just not knowing what to do now, but I’m scared that I was wrong after I’ve been so excited about finding my name. I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience.

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