Just a slightly low cut tank top. It wasn’t intentional I didn’t mean to specifically wear it to therapy but I’d forgotten I had therapy and I was intending to wear my coat all day to run errands since it’s so cold outside. So when the room was boiling hot I took off my coat. He initially didn’t react but then ‘I’d prefer you put your coat back on’. I asked why and he said it would be best if I did so I put it back on. I felt so little and stupid like I was back at school.

I was very uncomfortable and the warm room paired with therapy talk was very overwhelming. Im trying to keep light hearted about this but if I’m really honest I cried a lot about it when I finally got home.

If there was a dress code to follow I wouldve appreciated knowing before the session. Being new to therapy I don’t know the rules but its clothing I would wear out. Other places like a mall or a doctors office or even some of my old workplaces wouldn’t turn me away if I was dressed like that. It was just a casual outfit.

I (32f) was going to therapy with my therapist (~50m) for 6 months.

We had big sessions (each 2 hours long) and the more I was attached, the more often I went and it was making me getting it hard to keep the both ends meet between my salary checks.

He often commented my intelligence, outfit, internal world. He supported me in everything.

I’m alone (no friends or family support, they were very toxic connections), after ending 7y relationship.

So you can see how much it meant to me being seen. I wasn’t seen and appreciated in my relationship as well, which lead to many internal problems as I’m also carrying a lot of trauma.

So many times he said/did intimate things and it started looking very suspicious to me.

(When doing something on the PC, he touches my hand. Saying stuff that when listening to my recording he’s like 10cm near my mouth (after knowing I already developed intense love and erotic transference towards him))

He wanted me to hold on to those feelings, that it is good for the therapy process.

Anyways I confronted him in a video call about everything and I think he didn’t expect that I’m so aware of everything. He seemed stressed and angry. Then he became colder and harsher towards me after this discussion, even saying that there’s violence, aggression and stuff like this. That I don’t have courage to go to therapy and this is why I act like this.

There’s a lot more to this, but TL;DR:

I felt so seen and didn’t want to admit even to myself his questionable behaviour. I read about a lot of stuff he did that are red flags, but I didn’t want to believe that.

Now I decided to end this and also reconnected with my ex, because I have no one else to talk to, completely alone. I’m crushed.

How to deal with this, it hurts so much. I had huge hopes and was so excited always for therapy, I was spending all my money for it, I love it, but now I feel so weird.

Btw he also confessed love counter-transference, but I think he has the physical aspect even if not admitting it, because I caught him a couple of times looking at my parts. So I started questioning his intentions, if he is somehow manipulating me and stuff.

Sorry it is a very messy situation and I’m not a great story teller. Just need advice how to deal with the desperation that I no longer have someone to truly see and appreciate me.

I recently had my first therapy session online and I think it went okay. But afterward, I kept replaying parts of the conversation in my head.

Like, did I answer her questions properly? Did I explain what I was actually feeling? Did I say too much or give the wrong impression?Was I repeating myself too much? What if she was judging me?

I didn't feel uncomfortable during the session, and I think she understood me. But now I'm questioning whether I expressed myself accurately.

Does anyone else experience this?Is this normal? Is this something worth bringing up with the therapist? If so, how should I bring it up? 😅

Keep in mind we're not english speakers, so there are maybe slight differences.

My T was commenting something sexual I was bringing up, and over the course of months of sessions used the expression "make love", "going to bed together" and "sexual intercourse".

I only used the word "going to bed together", "have sex" and.... (shame on me) "fucking".

We have couple of words for "fucking" but it's my main word while talking about sex with my T and I never ever in million years used the word "make love".

Since then, they never used their words, but used mines instead, so it's a triumph of "fucking", "being fucked", "want fucking" and "just fucking" on both ends.

I'm now a bit ashamed I don't use other words for it, but I also feel that maybe my T feels forced to use my language to accomodate me and this embarrasses me a bit since she's a married woman older than me and also a quite elegant person when she speaks, and also because my language is maybe ok till you are 20, but then it become awful.

I've been in psychodynamic therapy a long time and a lot of it has been spent stabilising for various reasons. In the last year we have been able to go a bit deeper, and in the last six months or so have been doing parts work. And I won't say I find that easy, but as someone with a plethora of defense mechanisms and protective parts, who has dissociated and suppressed for thirty years, when I get glimpses of these parts that haven't seen the light of day in most of my lifetime it's eventually proving to be such a good feeling? Very scary and odd at first and at times, of course.

I have switched from suppressing and talking down my ocd to viewing it as my fearful part, for example. And it's revealing itself as a three dimensional character not just the mental health condition I have always sectioned it off to be. That fearful part also houses a strong need for attention and connection, which I never got and therefore vilified and battled with. When I recognise this part of me, I feel from it a palpable sense of excitement and release. I think she feels seen. And hopefully this is all baby steps to feeling and crying and all the things I need to do. But even without that, these are good feelings of integration and connection and I appreciate them.

Had a big crying session in my therapist’s office and I really needed it. I started crying early on and proceeded to cry for the rest of the session. The tears kept coming and I couldn’t stop them. I probably went through half a box of tissues. It was weird but it felt so much better to let it out. I’m grateful for my therapist who sat with me through the tears and helped me to ground at the end.

Today I had a therapy appointment and my therapist no showed. This is an in person appointment that reoccurs every 2 weeks. She has been forgetful and a tad disorganized with scheduling before which I chose to overlook because I felt we had a good therapeutic connection but I feel like this is not easy to overlook. Just looking for opinions - is this easy to forget a session as a therapist?

I (29F) been seeing a male therapist (I think around 45) every two weeks for about 8 months, mostly for EMDR. It was going well until the last two sessions, when I started getting an “ick” that I can’t shake. It’s mostly about moments where the line between therapy and personal stuff gets blurred, and I find it awkward.

Here’s what’s been happening:

• He looked at my LinkedIn profile, twice, on different dates. The first time was even before our first session. The second time it was after 2-3 sessions. I could tell because of the notification, but brushed it off at the time. This does make me wonder if he generally googled me and looked at other social media pages.
• He made a fuss about whether to tell me about his back issues, making me guess why he was doubting to tell me (I didn't know what he was talking about), but it was because he didn’t want me to want to “care” for him. I hadn’t felt that way at all until he put it in the room.
• During EMDR I shook the buzzers to activate them and joked that it’s like shaking a cocktail. He asked if I was good at making cocktails. I said no, and he said “that’s a pity.”
• In the last two sessions his body language has changed. He seems to have more “flair,” which is hard to describe, but I noticed it.

Some context: humor is my defense mechanism, so I joke a lot in sessions. I’ve also had experiences where older men became overly interested in me (my previous manager, my driving instructor, tennis instructor, they all seemed to get weird after some time), so part of me worries I’m projecting that onto him. Typing this out, each thing feels small, and I keep thinking I’m imagining it.

I don’t feel comfortable bringing any of this up with him. I need some perspective and to know if I'm exaggerating this or not.

Can someone tell me about exposure and response therapy? What do they teach you to do

In my therapy we've been going very deep lately and i think i need a breather. I still want to go to the sessions it's not that i want to stop - i trust him and feel validated around him but man i need a break from just talking about how shit my life has been this far because it's very tiring to dig so deep every week, it takes me time to recover. i'm going because i want to work through trauma, so it's not a shock that it's difficult, but i think i need a week or two where maybe we can just talk about something inconsequential like films, idk. Is that okay to ask for? I don't want that permanently but i just need a break, and i don't want a break from therapy itself because i like having that space for me, but i don't want to ask for that and he feels like i'm being an avoidant time waster.

i had a dream where i became fat and i killed myself, and i know it sound weird but its not that deep like i think it isnt. i AM mentally ill and just 2 weeks ago I got out of the psychiatric hospital

(he hates me) (when I leave easily on time he's like oh thank fucking god) 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I just came out of a session with my psychiatrist (not psychologist). In the past somehow I was able to open up to him even though it's not his job! I know there is a very strong transference going on in my situation. For the same reason I avoided him for a few months though I continued my medication.

Today when I went I wanted to tell him more. I wanted to talk to him for a long period. Tell him how awful I am feeling these days. Tell him that so many times I just want to ring him up and tell him this is going on in my life and him to just be there patiently listening to what I am going through without any judgement.

I know I am expecting a lot more from him. Because of all this I am just not able to tell him openly now as at the back of my mind all this transference theory is going on and I have sort of closed myself again

I don't feel good about this. I don't know what to do about it

I really need advice. I am 16 and this is my frist time in therapy. I've had luck getting a place quickly, yet i am not sure if it fits...

In the first few sessions i felt like i already knew everything, and i really dont wanna sound shitty, but the therapy feels so.. surface level. Like my mess of emotions isnt understood. We talk about my social anxiety but honestly there are so much worse things in my head than this

But i am too afraid to be honest. And plus my therapist is a man. I dont know i took him because it didnt have long waiting time but idk...he's a man, like, i dont know how to explain

Please help, please give me advice if this is normal or just not the right fit

I am in therapy to develop boundaries. I am extremely codependent, constantly taken advantage of, and have a history of growing up in an alcoholic home. However, I am not being abused, self-harming, or anything like that.

Sometimes, it feels like my therapist wants to see me a lot. Sometimes she schedules sessions 2 days in a row, or twice a week. I asked to take a week off and she asked several times if I wanted to meet remotely while I was on a business trip. I really had to insist I didn't want to. And since I am low acuity, and she is a single mom, I do wonder if she just wants to because she know I won't say no, and I am a reliable source of income.

Thoughts?

Is this scenario as weird as I think it is?

My husband saw a therapist and had a very interesting experience with her. It's honestly too much to get into altogether.

Some main issues:

-She was dismissive of his growth.

-She told him his medication couldn't be helping him within two weeks when he reported positive effects. (All info online would disagree with her.)

-She dismissed his concerns about PTSD. He has since been diagnosed and treated.

-He asked me to attend a session. I couldn't, so I wrote a letter expressing my concerns. (This was after he requested I do so.) She laughed at my letter calling it too emotional and saying I had too many run on sentences. She told him it felt "manipulative."

-She reached conclusions about his childhood and it's affects on her own. When he told her he disagreed, she was dismissive.

My husband continued therapy with her and another therapist for a while longer before discontinuing services with her. He said he would leave therapy with the other therapist feeling calm and reassured. Then he would visit this therapist and feel confused and unsettled. He continued visiting the other therapist and her treatment was very helpful.

After he discontinued therapy, I left her a negative review because he and I both felt her approach was actively harmful to him. I did not say that in the review, just left a rating. At that time, she had only a couple reviews. Within a day or two of mine posting, she received several five star reviews. One said, "Ignore the lone one star review. It is someone posting in retaliation." She clearly solicited these positive reviews. She later had mine removed.

Then I got a friend request from her in the middle of the night. It was quickly deleted. She had been looking at my socials.

All of this was just so creepy and weird. I still find it unsettling years later. I do not know what her intentions were.

I've written a note for my next therapy session because there's something I want to bring up, but I'm really anxious about actually giving it to my T.

Part of the note talks about how I'm scared to be honest because of confidentiality, and asks what would make him break it. I'm worried that just asking about confidentiality around this particular subject will make him guess at what I'm not telling him. Like, he'll suspect something specific just because I'm asking about the limits of confidentiality in relation to it? 

I guess I'm wondering if that is at all likely or something to be concerned about?

Also... If I could just get some reassurance or omeone to tell me to just fucking show him the note that would be great. I know I need to talk about this, I'm just scared to. I'm afraid I will back out.

I'm not sure if I tell my therapist I "relapsed" and hurt myself after almost 5 years of not having done so. A big thing showed up that I legally can't talk to her about, so idk what to do. Legally, I cannot tell her (she might get called for questions) what happened, but it was bad enough for my "relapse." It was bad. That being said, I'm 22. I'm not a minor, and idk who she would report my sh to, if she would at all. Especially since my emergency contact is my mom, and if she told me mom, everything would get WAY worse, but I also don't know if my "relapse" is just a one-off or something that might grow, but the way the situation is going, it seems it'll be the latter.

What do I do?

Who would she contact/will she contact anyone?

Do I just wait a bit and see before talking to her?

Hi,

I’ve been referred for psychological treatment for depression and am about to start therapy with a psychologist who practices Intensive Short-Term Dynamic Psychotherapy (ISTDP). I chose her based on her stated areas of expertise and specializations.

Two years ago in an other context I scored highly on a Raven’s 2 test, and I’m wondering whether I should mention this in the therapeutic process.

My main concern is whether aspects of my cognitive functioning might be relevant to understanding my difficulties, including how I process emotions, analyse situations, and respond to interpersonal experiences. I wonder whether some of these patterns could potentially be misunderstood if my cognitive profile is not taken into account.

I’m not suggesting that a high IQ explains my depression or rules out underlying psychological difficulties. Rather, I want to make sure that my therapist has the relevant context to develop an accurate understanding of me. At the same time, I wonder whether disclosing the result, could introduce bias or lead to an unnecessary focus.

Would you recommend mentioning it early on, before first session or instead allowing the therapist to develop her own understanding of me?

I’d particularly appreciate perspectives from people familiar with ISTDP, psychotherapy, or the relationship between high cognitive ability and mental health.

I wish you all a pleasant day.

So for context, i used to go to therapy months ago for anxiety issues and low energy/fatigue, i eventually decided to step away from therapy for awhile.

So during our last session, I asked her if she noticed anything else about me because although I had come in for anxiety, she had never given me an actual diagnosis.

She said that she noticed serious signs of major clinical depression but didn't mention it to me during any of our previous sessions because she didn't want me to latch onto the label.

Part of the reason I felt the need to step away from therapy was also because...during our one and only regression therapy session, there was this one instance when I broke down crying saying I wanted to stop the session and open my eyes but she forced me to go back in and sternly told me not to open my eyes and finish the whole visualization excercise.

Although the regression therapy made me feel a bit lighter, in the days after, something about that session (or rather her approach) left me feeling uneasy.

In the follow up session I brought up a few issues as feedback, stating that I find visualization techniques to be a little difficult not because I didn't have a vivid imagination (I do) but I find it difficult to visualise things while simultaneously having to "let my feelings do the talking" because I get caught up in the details of the visuals.

I also told her that her tone sounded accusatory when she kept repeatedly asking me during the regression session "YOU said you felt fear, where is it now?" (she asked that question, in the exact same accusatory tone, 3 times, despite me repeatedly telling her i don't know where it went. For context, the different emotions I felt during the regression session were supposed to represent the different "inner children"). I told her the tone was unnecessary because I genuinely did not know where my inner child, that represented fear, had disappeared

She seemed taken aback by the feedback and sheepishly said that that was really useful feedback (mind you, I was very polite and calm when I gave her this feedback) but she said that regarding the visualization techniques she said she doesn't know how else to approach this because most of the techniques will require me to visualize things or that she would have to find another way if I find visualization techniques difficult.

I reiterated that I don't mind the visualization techniques but I do need her to be patient with me during any session that requires me to "visualize" my feelings.

During this feedback however, she said that the next time when we do a session like this and if she were to give me instructions to close my eyes, i should not open them until she says so because...she didn't want these repressed feelings coming up later, when I'm going about my day.

However, after this feedback, i noticed a very subtle shift in her approach; she seemed almost annoyed with me at times. It was super subtle but definitely noticeable to me.

I also mentioned to her that I would like to talk about my mum and my relationship to her but she dismissed it saying that that would be "too vague"...which i honestly didn't get, considering most of my feelings of anxiety and low energy started after her death.

Another odd instance of her being annoyed; we were discussing my childhood molestation, and she mentioned that she could sense there was some guilt in me that I had done something wrong.

I immediately picked up on that implication and responded to her, "but I haven't done anything wrong...", and at which point she looked really annoyed.

She immediately defended it by saying that IF I was reading a redemption story about a character who constantly complained about having intrusive thoughts that made them feel like they deserved to be violated/assaulted/molested, "what do you think that says about the character?"

I said I don't know. She went "it means the character has an internal conflict"....that "on one hand, you realize this is an injustice and on the other hand, you're trying to normalize it".

But here's the thing; I'm NOT looking for redemption because I HAVEN'T done anything wrong. If a therapist is picking up on the fact that the client is holding themselves accountable for something that ISN'T their fault, isn't it normal for a therapist to remind or at the very least, ask their client, that "hey, I'm sensing that you have this shame/guilt/confusion around your sexual abuse/molestation but I just want you to know, you're not at fault" or "you do realize you're not at fault right??"

She just wanted to highlight that I'm conflicted and she was irritated that I didn't "get it". It almost felt at times like I was a case study to her.

It left me wondering, "well...does MY therapist think/suspect that I've done something wrong? Is that how SHE is interpreting my dark intrusive thoughts about myself? Does she think I'm lying about my molestation or making it up??"

So yeah, all of this left me feeling uncomfortable with our... dynamic...and i decided it was best for me to step away.

What do you all think?

I was just recommended a therapist by my physician, and I looked him up.

I saw his reviews and they were okay-ish but my main concern is that he is pretty old and I don’t know that he will understand my issues. I know that is me judging a book by its cover.

I just feel very unsure.

Edit: I just looked at more of his yelp reviews and they are all 1 stars. 🫠 So yeah. I won’t be going to him, but thank you all for the helpful comments!!

Hi there,

Since a few months, my wife see a therapist every week due to a trauma linked to an event when she was a teenager.
Despite having seen her already about 15 times, my wife reported that her therapist doesn't do more than casual chit chat, and change subject every time she starts to talk about this event. She has the feeling to pay quite a lot to have someone asking her about her daily life, and refusing to talk about more important things.

Is it a secret therapy technic or is that therapist just a bad one ?

Thanks in advance

I've been in therapy for about a year, psychoanalytic therapy, and I haven't acquired almost any kind of more awareness than before. I suffer from practically constant depressive states, even if not diagnosed...

I will try to be as summary as possible, but unfortunately I don't have this gift, plus I will omit some details, such as textual sentences etc.
In therapy, but in general in life, I am an extremely avoidant person when talking about my vulnerabilities or weaknesses, I am very reserved even if extremely sociable, therefore it is very difficult for me to open up, even in therapy, even after a year, so often I try to deviate in other ways, consciously or not.

The "problem" is that from a certain moment on my therapist began to be there I think pleasantly in this deviation of mine; I like to talk about intellectual topics, we have many interests in common, such as literature, art, music, psychology and psychoanalysis, in addition at the moment I am studying because in the future I would like to become in the sector, so let's say, fertile ground for deep conversations.

We began to spend entire sessions talking about books, movies, music, psychology, personal experiences about these interests.

I would like to point out that I was often and willingly the one to ask questions (but not always), ask questions and create fertile ground for a good conversation, but she is practically there and we ended up spending entire meetings like this, every now and then maybe she tried to bring me back to the therapeutic work, but not in a sporadic and flexible way, maybe telling me a sentence like "come on tell me something" and then between one thing and another we ended up going back to chatting again as mentioned before.

She revealed to me her musical, cinema, literary tastes, on which side she is politically and that she is not a believer. And she also told me some small anedotes about her life.

This for about 4/5 months almost continuously. We talked really pleasantly, even about politics and religion sometimes, also making me understand that she was on my same side and I also pointed out to her that maybe she shouldn't have taken sides.

After a lot of time spent in this way she got into obvious difficulty, she also started with me to wonder if she was doing her job and I perceived her uncomfortable during this session, she looked at the floor, spoke little, she tried to put on quite forced "therapeutic" questions and I pointed it out to her, but anyway at the end of the session she didn't seem calm, so I asked her if she was sure that everything was okay.

Once I asked her if she felt guilty, she told me that a little yes, she felt guilty. She herself admitted to having made mistakes and having broken rules. From that moment the oscillation is a constant, sometimes it tries to regulate itself by being more silent and evading the questions, other times instead, as before. She herself admitted that she made mistakes with me and that the dynamic got a little out of her hands and several times she told me that if I wanted I could take advantage of the possibility of leaving. In general, during the sessions I have always noticed a lot of humanity, a lot of laughter, genuine interest, pure spontaneity. I am a lesbian, and I have always had a fascination for figures much older than me, this is also a bit of my scheme.

In recent times I have noticed a small change, it seems more focused on work and more aware, but I still have to understand well, because now it is a period that I do not see her due to holidays.
Recently, instead, I told her that from a certain number of sessions a month I would like to switch to another for an economic issue, but she told me that that number (one less than how many I did) would not be functional to the therapy in her opinion and proposes that I continue as before paying one less. In addition, one of the last times I told her that with her I noticed that I became more uninhibited, more uninhibited and she told me that in part, she too.
within a year, unfortunately, I don't notice any kind of change and/or improvement.

Every time I talk about it with friends or people close to me I am told to change, that all this is not professional and that maybe the therapy with me moves something of their own, Some of them also think that there was a strange involvement.
• What do you think?